Transcript
Good morning. Welcome back to Living with Emuna. Sorry we're displaced today in the Sefardi Beis Medrash thanks to our winter kollel taking place. They take over our other space. As always, we begin with gratitude. Thank you to our series sponsors of Emuna Shiur, Dr. Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Shanzar. And generously co-sponsored the series anonymously in memory of the 334 fallen soldiers and alumni of בני דוד מכינת ישיבה עלי on October 7th and during the war. This week, we are highlighting Captain Yair Yaakov Shoshana Hashem Yikom Damo from Ma'alot-Tarshiha, was an officer in the Nachal Brigade's battalion who was killed in a building collapse caused by an explosion in Gaza on January 13th, 2024. Survived by his parents, Hadass and Michael, by four siblings. Remembered as a devoted officer who insisted on serving on the front lines, and we don't forget and we remain in endless gratitude to the heroes who protect and serve our people. This morning's shiur is sponsored anonymously with gratitude to the Emuna shiur in memory of Linda Geller on the occasion of the shloshim by Soul and Stone Studio created by local Be'eras artist Tima Laskov, offering hand-painted remembrance stones for comfort in moments of loss, and you can find it in the Be'eras Weekly, there's an ad this Shabbos, find it online. Anonymously to acknowledge and thank Hashem for sending us a yeshua. So we thank all of our sponsors and we're very, very grateful for all of the dedications. Okay, we're going to begin as we always do with some emails, some ideas, some messages, practical emuna, the people who put it into practice. I'm sorry for those who are already disoriented over here, and then we'll get back into the learning of Shaarei Tefillah of Rav Dovid Abuchatzeira, there are source sheets printed, copied, as requested, Yocheved, here, please feel free to take or to give out. So the first email, the first email is not actually an email, but I want to mention this past Shabbos Rob Early, our friend Rob Early was here, and we know he lost his son Binyamin Early Hashem Yikom Damo, one of those heroic soldiers who ran into a building and unfortunately did not come out, who gave his life for Am Yisrael and Klal Yisrael. The Earlys started an amazing project in Tzfat in the north of Israel, a beautiful house that provides respite physically and spiritually for those who need it. But why am I mentioning it? Because when Rob spoke on Shabbos afternoon and told the story, spoke about Binyamin, and spoke about how they've endured over the last two years and how they've found comfort and strength, he spoke about Emuna and Bitachon. Jen Early, who actually spoke here in our shul previously, who is an extraordinary embodiment of emuna. Lest you think Rob her husband, he's no second fiddle, he's not secondary, he too is living that example of that emuna and bitachon even in the most unimaginable and hardest circumstances. But why am I mentioning because he made a point that I think is so critical, it's one that we've spoken about before and it's one that we learn about. He said that they had been working on and living with emuna before the loss of their son. It was the refuah before the maka. He said if you don't work on and forge your emuna, if you don't strengthen your bitachon, if you don't see and feel Hashem, if you're not in a constant conversation when all is well and good and calm, it won't be there to draw from when inevitably and invariably all of us in life will face and will navigate and we'll have to overcome hardship. We hope and we daven we don't, we ask that it not be, that it be minor relative to what it could be. But to be alive, as we've shared, as we've shared many times, Rav Avraham Schorr Shlita, that if an EKG, if the line is flat, it means there's no life. And if it goes up and down, it means the patient is alive. And our lives go up and down. We have moments of great joy and moments of success and moments of simcha and we have moments of sorrow and moments of grief and moments of disappointment. And the fact that our life is filled with those ups and downs is itself a testament to the fact that we are alive because to be alive is to confront the ups and downs, the roller coaster that is life. There is no one whose life is purely linear. There are people who live as if it is, we'll get to that in a moment when we get to our learning. If you live with Hashem in your life, if you live the hishtavus, the equanimity, if you live without the highs and lows but the feeling that whatever I face and confront, whatever happens to me and with me, it's all from Hashem and therefore I have an equanimity, I have a calm, I have a serenity, I have a tranquility, then it looks like life is linear but even for those people, it's not. Life has ups and downs. And the point that Rob Early was making is that a person needs to in the good times when you're up, it's not a time to feel thank, you know, God, I'm good. I don't need to talk to you, I don't need you to talk to me, I don't need to learn about you. I'm good to go. Everyone's healthy, we got parnasa, we got simchas, all good, all good. Because if a person lives that way when they need to if they need to or when they'll need to draw from and lean on and feel the presence of and believe that nothing is random or chance it's all carefully curated and choreographed from above it won't be there it won't be there we need to be strong in the good times. I don't remember if I've told this story before in the emuna shiur but if I did you'll forgive me you probably forgot so I'm going to repeat it anyway but there was a member of our shul who had many years ago already a significant massive heart attack and I went to visit him in the hospital and to see how he was doing and he said to me Rabbi the Happy Minyan the Carlebach Minyan which we still have but not as consistently the Happy Minyan saved my life. I thought that's the sweetest thing they davened for him or the fact that he was part of it and had that deep sense of avoda and saying his tefilla he feels like that's so sweet that saved his life that's so sweet it's so nice to hear I'll let them know that's so sweet. He said no no no you don't understand the Happy Minyan saved my life. I said that's sweet that's adorable that's so kind I'll let them know. He said no he said I started going to the Happy Minyan and the Happy Minyan everyone's clapping and dancing and hopping and bopping and davening Kabbalas Shabbos and it's going on and I couldn't keep up I was out of shape I couldn't breathe so I wanted to hop and bop and clap and dance and bounce off the walls but I couldn't so I started to work out I started to exercise so that I could better participate in the Happy Minyan and the doctor told me that had I not started exercising I never would have survived this heart attack so the Happy Minyan saved my life. So first of all it's an emuna story that we had it for when we had it and he went to it and he loved it and it moved and motivated him to try to exercise why am I telling it to you because that exercise before the heart attack is what saved his life said Rav Eli the working on emuna and the living emuna and the leaning into emuna is what saved their lives that when their son בנימין השם יקום דמו was killed by Hamas evil wicked terrorists defending the state of Israel and the Jewish people they have been able to find the fortitude to continue the resilience and the tenacity to go on why because the Refuah came before the maka because they were already leaning in and living emuna even before it happened and that is an incredibly incredibly important. I'm sharing that because all of us you may be sitting here I hope and I daven that we're all sitting here I know it's not but I wish it were a room full of people who all say we're on the top those ups and downs the peaks and valleys of the EKG of life we're on top right now it's all good it's all amazing it's all simcha and we're tempted to feel I can skip the shiur I don't have to listen I don't have to come I don't have to lean in because it's all good that's exactly when you have to work on emuna the most we have to work out the emuna muscles the most because if you're not working out before the heart attack when it comes hopefully figuratively not literally we won't be ready and if we want to not only survive but thrive if we want to be strong when we need it later then we need to be working out now so it's always the right time to be working on emuna in the highs and the lows the peaks and the valleys whether on the top or feel like we're on the bottom we're always it's always the right time. Okay hello Rabbi Goldberg a song popped into my head recently I hadn't listened to it in years I searched it on YouTube and I found it little did I know what would be the first words in the song גם כי אלך בגיא צלמות לא אירא רע כי אתה עמדי someone remembered the tune hadn't remembered the song when they found the song of course where do those words come from our first Psalm 23 Kapitel Chaf Gimmel sighting of the week another Perek Chaf Gimmel finding I have from a couple weeks ago I've been debating about sending it or not my Savta was in the hospital a few weeks ago Baruch Hashem she's doing much better in rehab regaining her strength when I looked at the monitor at her respirations it was 23 a tad high she was in pain it came down momentarily later to normal levels I went to grab my phone take a picture but Baruch Hashem it went down after a few minutes I realized 23 itself is the thing we're all looking for Ki Ata Imadi the number 23 meant she wasn't alone Hashem is with me with all of us through our struggles thick and thin the good and the not so revealed good thanks for starting and encouraging this fun sighting game love hearing everyone else sighting in the shiurim of Psalm 23. Good morning Rabbi I come from such and such I've been listening to the emuna shiurim for almost three years now and I want to share a short story that really brought one of your messages to life this from a man I love when men are manly enough to admit that they listen to the emuna shiur doesn't happen that often they pretend that they're forced oh it was in the car and my wife made me listen and I overheard so I might as well share a story or my favorite is that man who wrote the email that unlike other men who stay up late at night and wait for their wives to fall asleep so they can watch something they shouldn't be he said that he refused to give his wife the satisfaction of knowing that he was hooked so he waited till she fell asleep and would sneak the emuna shiur late at night when she didn't know alright anyway. You tell me which is the better gender and the lower gender. As I was traveling back from a meeting in Manhattan to Brooklyn I realized while already sitting on the train that I had gotten on the wrong train. As anyone familiar with New York City subway system knows that can easily turn into a stressful situation especially when you're unsure which train to take next. I got off at the next stop to my surprise the station had a direct transfer to the exact train I needed to get back to Brooklyn. In that moment it became clear that you are where you're meant to be, getting off precisely that stop without having to worry or figure out where to go next. It was a small experience but it strongly reinforced the message of emuna. Yasher, thank you for the incredible shiur and for the chizuk you give, I appreciate it. He knew where he was meant to be. You feel the presence again. Why am I reading that email? Because we live our lives, if you don't live in black and white, but you're living your life in vivid color, you're living your life where you're able to see the winks and the hugs and the nods from Hashem. And in that moment you could have just said what a coincydink I got off the right stop and this is the right train and I got where I was meant to go and I'm happy it worked out. What a relief. Or you could stop and say, I'm hugging you back Hashem. I'll say Perek Tehillim Kaf-Gimmel or another, I'll just say a sentence in my own words, in my own heart, in my own way, thank you Hashem. Thank you for the hug, thank you for the wink, thank you for the nod, thank you for the reminder and the memory that You are here. Life is full of vicissitudes. Great means of support to participate in the emuna class keep on working strengthening our faith in Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Three years ago we had a terribly sad nisayon, a terribly sad test. As parents all you want to do is protect your children from pain, it's not always possible. After a few years of marriage and trying my son and daughter-in-law were thrilled to be expecting their first child. But sadly in the ninth month a beautiful but stillborn baby girl was delivered. My children were devastated. What helped them was their rabbi who shared with them a day after their baby was delivered, another young religious couple in the same hospital delivered a stillborn baby boy. The two little angels are actually buried side by side in the same cemetery. The nechama comes from the belief that this was orchestrated by Hashem and that the two neshamot were meant to be together eternally without going through the yissurim of life. It is with this belief that our children and we were able to hear, to heal and keep trying again. Thanks to Hashem's help as well as high-risk doctors a year later they were zocha to a beautiful baby boy named Ezra. We never know what life has in store for us but certainly helps to navigate the journey with emuna. May all those who yearn for children and all who are blessed to have children understand and appreciate what a miracle it is for a child to be born healthy and typically developing and I echo and definitely answer amen to that beracha. Rabbi Goldberg I've been listening to your podcast for years while taking my daily pre-breakfast walk and it gives me the perk I need for the rest of the day. Nice. It truly does wear off a bit as the reality of life interferes but still. I always have great stories I want to share with you, I compose them in my head but alas never send them. Today however something happened I simply could not ignore. I was listening to Living with Emuna shiur and you emphasized how important it was to remind ourselves how much we love Hashem. You spoke of a man who decided to put plaques saying I love you Hashem near each of the mezuzahs. When I heard this I thought wow what a wonderful idea. Remember that last week, two weeks ago, under every mezuzah was I love you when you kissed the mezuzah you remember I love You and You love me and then that person saw the rocks had floated into the shape of a heart in the, remember? I could get some of those plaques, I even envisioned making my own reminders but I wasn't sure how to do it. I've been living in Gush Etzion for over 20 years and I volunteer in the Pina Chama, a place where soldiers can come to rest, take a snooze, have a coffee, cold drink, hot soup, all kinds of great cakes and nash. If you haven't been there it's an amazing place. On one of our missions after October 7th we stopped there and we brought all kinds of goodies and we spent time with the soldiers there, Pina Chama, in that warm corner, it's just a place, Gush Etzion in the winter, my brother and family live there, it can be incredibly freezing, sideways rain and sleet and snow cold. And for soldiers who are on guard there and they need to be, there have been way too many incidents in Gush Etzion, it's a place to go get some warmth sit on a couch and eat some nash and this is an incredible volunteer there. It's something I've been doing for many years I feel it's the least I can do for Am Yisrael. I'm a senior citizen. Anyway, I was tidying up the room putting away some of the boxes that were lying around. I reached in the bottom of one of the boxes and I couldn't believe my eyes. Scattered at the bottom were dozens of small sticker plaques that said נא לומר אני אוהב אוהבת אותך השם. Please say I love You God. I stood there in amazement. How'd they get there? Who left them there? It was clear to me it was Hashem giving me His nod of approval to move forward with the idea. What hashgacha pratis. I took a few plaques home with me to mount in my home and give out to family. I still can't get over it. Please keep sending these empowering shiurim all the best continued health to you and your family amen to that as well. But just when she thought I want to put those plaques near my mezuzahs as well. Where do I get them? How do I order them? Should I do it? Shouldn't I do it? There she's cleaning boxes and what does she find? Exactly those plaques. Dear Rabbi Ephraim, my wife and I went Saturday night to the movies tonight in my study to watch last Wednesday's Living with Emuna. We typically listen to old episodes in the car but we were presently up to episode 106, we watched the new one. You referenced the missed field goal story and proposed that the immediate message to the kicker should not be embrace your place, which he's not ready to hear, but rather recognizing his likely frustration which you'd rather commiserate and share an empathic it stinks now, since emuna necessarily includes being human. You say it stinks and I feel for you and I'm so sorry and I empathize with your pain and when the time is right the next day next week next month you talk about but what are we meant to learn from this why do you think Hashem put you through this how can you be an example how will you bounce back where do you go from here as we listened I was looking at the living with Emuna poster on the side of the screen and I noticed if you jumble the letters of Emuna it yields humane seems fitting thanks for your untiring inspired efforts Klal best regards Hatzlacha Amen to that too dear Rabbi Goldberg I was reading a biography of Gerald Ford this morning this is someone I admire who is making her way through all the presidents a biography of every president maybe she can summarize them for me I'm not reading them and she's up to Gerald Ford in the 1970s with regard to presidential biographies at the moment in the book he's on an aircraft carrier on the way to battle in South Pacific attached is a version of Psalm 23 he rewrote and sent to the crew don't feel obligated to use it I just found it a wink and nod from Hashem and this is it he wrote in the book an ordinary man the surprising life and historic presidency of Gerald Ford Ford enlivened the pages of his newsletter with wry observations and ribbing those who had yet to find their sea legs and whose mangling of the naval vocabulary mistaking front porch for forecastle and downstairs for below was always good for a chuckle sometimes military humor was tinged with pathos as in psalm of a carrier pilot the landing signal officer is my shepherd I shall not crash he maketh me land on green runways he waveth me off the rough waters he restoreth my confidence at 60 knots I shall fear no evil and so on and so forth but it's a quasi Psalm 23 sighting it is a remembrance a hug and nod from Hashem okay a couple more and then we'll get into the then we'll get back into our learning starting off with some gratitude you can insert yada yada here yada yada here thank you for being the tool okay yada yada as a single woman living alone in several states away from my family I spend most weeks alone and it's not always easy to find ways to make Shabbos feel special in July I moved to a new state and started a new job around this time I stumbled across your podcast on Spotify and it was one of the only things getting me through the workday has prepared me for so many challenges which is the Refua before the Makka which is the workout before the heart attack should just mention that in passing Spotify was the Shadchan made her discover it and listening and learning and living I'm working on it myself gets us ready for if or when God forbid we need to draw from it I started at the beginning and listened to it for 10 hours straight sometimes this made me a 0.1 percent listener and she sent the Spotify screenshot 0.1 percent listener amazing I now caught up to where you are in real time all 371 episodes in five months I don't know if there's like a trophy an award a Nobel Prize something definitely some swag we gotta send her some swag I thought it was time to write an email Hashem has been helping me grow in many ways that I didn't want to two months ago I quit my job due to an incident of professional physical contact from a male boss I have not yet been able to find another job although I've been applying to so many I have no savings and often my bank account is as low as one dollar I've had to solely rely on the kindness of those around me for survival and thankfully Hashem has put these people in my life who cares so much some have chosen to give me gifts I can buy food I'm grateful for all of this but I'm so tired of this awful feeling that comes with asking at first I was remembered to thank Hashem for this opportunity to grow and learn to think about money in a different way but now I'm just mad that nothing has changed and I still have to ask I don't know how long this will continue it's hard to see a way out sometimes Hashem has provided so much for me already and I'm still learning to trust that he won't let me fall further and he'll help me back up on Wednesday last week I was having a rough day I put on some rough secular music to match my mood I was making eggs and the pepper grinder fell into the bowl splashing egg all over me the counter the front cabinet the food and ruining the pepper grinder I just stared at it for a moment before realizing this too is from Hashem I said thank you Hashem remembered it was Wednesday and immediately changed to listening to the most recent episode of living with Emuna there's a picture of the don't cry don't cry over spilled eggs it put me in a better mood in other words she interpreted the spilled eggs as interrupting her don't be listening to that put on living with Emuna instead and it put her in a better mood on Friday I decided to buy a lottery ticket even though I can't really afford it and a thought hit me Rabbi Goldberg Hashem has not allowed you to win the lottery because you may be the only reason someone gives Maaser or charity by you having to go around and ask for money for BRS you're allowing others to do a Mitzvah and on top of that it takes you out of your comfort zone which is good for your personal growth although I thought this was not applicable to myself I too did not win the lottery one day I will have an update to this unfortunate situation for now trying to embrace my place know everything's from Hashem you have my permission to share any part of this if you like one day I hope to discuss the potential for making selling merch for the Shiur proceeds going to BRS I'll give her a Bracha she should find a good job an amazing job. There are always more, but we're going to leave it there. Thank you to everyone who sends emails. I apologize to those I can't read out loud, but I read and respond to every single one of them I get. And as I say every week, the exercise of writing it is worthwhile, even if it's not read publicly, because of what we all gain and benefit even just from, even just from writing it. We're in Sha'arei Tefilla of Dov Avichatzerah page kuff lamed 130 the right hand column on the bottom. There are more copies here if you would like to follow along. If you'd like to follow along. Okay. Someone commented \"real men live with emunah.\" I agree. וכן דרשו צדיקים על מה שאמרו בגמרא. What have we been learning about? We've been learning about the fact that we daven not only for gashmius, but we daven for ruchnius. We daven not only for our physical health, safety, well-being, but we daven for spirituality. We daven for spirituality as well. We ask Hashem, please help me have emunah. Please help my davening flow. Please help me stay calm and patient and loving. Please help me see you and your hand. Please help me love and run and pursue and listen to the mitzvos that are calling my name. And that the Sefer Chasidim says that when a person couches their tefilla not ego but elokus, not give me for me because I want, I need and crave, but Hashem, I'm here and I live as a mission for you. I'm here and my life is all about, I have a mission, I have a purpose. There's a plan, and I can't fulfill it if I'm not healthy and mobile and well. And I can't achieve it if I don't have the resources I need to succeed. So Hashem, help me. Give me resources and give me health, and give me a spouse and give me children and give me a home and give me what I need because otherwise I can't serve you. And that that positions us best and better to be able to hear from him. We quoted from Rav Yisroel Salanter about קרוב ה' לכל קוראיו, Hashem is close to all who call him, לכל אשר יקראוהו באמת to those who call in truth, in truth. And what does that mean? B'emes only if your bakasha, if the request is on a dvar emes. When you ask for something in gashmius, when we ask for something physical or material, we don't know if it's valid, we don't know if it's legit, we don't know if it's really what's best for us. But ruchnius, spirituality, soulfulness, is always what's best. It's always right. It's always legit. It's always the emes. And therefore, Hashem is more likely to answer us positively and favorably. V'chein darshu tzadikim. Amash omra gemara. The gemara says הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים. The gemara says that everything is from heaven. Everything is from above. Everything is from Hashem except for yiras shamayim, except for yiras shamayim. What does that mean? This is a very, very startling comment that our rabbis make. It's not simply a statement of emunah bitachon everything is from above, everything from Hashem, which is also true. The gemara elsewhere describes you reach in your pocket for a nickel and you pull out a quarter. It wasn't coincidence. It wasn't random. It wasn't chance. It is all from Hashem. Did the kicker make the field goal or miss it? Did you make the train or miss it? Was your flight on time or delayed? Was a light red, yellow or green? Everything is from Hashem. But it means even more. Hakol biydei shamayim means so much of our life we think we have free will. So much of our lives we think we have autonomy. I'll tell you something that is startling. What you're wearing right now, you did not really choose to put on or not put on. You think you did. Some of you have vast, large, enormous closets filled with an incredible selection of clothing, and you think what you're wearing right now you chose. You think whatever hairstyle of your hair or sheitel, whatever you have, you chose. We think whatever music you listen to on the car on the way over here you chose. So much of our lives that we think is a reflection, result of our free will or choice is not. If you were not born in the place and the time that you were to the people that you were born to, if you didn't have the DNA and genetics that you have, if you don't have the friends and the community and the environment that you're part of, you wouldn't be wearing that. You didn't choose it objectively. You chose it because that's what's in fashion, that's what's in style, that's the uniform, that's how you want to be thought of, that's the community you want to be connected with, that's what you want to be part of. You have free will and you have choice and you have style. When we lived not in our current home, but we lived in a previous home, we had a neighbor across the street. Oak Circle was very different back then. She was Jewish, think Israeli, and she had all kinds of piercings and tattoos and body art and statements and how she lived. And she would describe, \"I'm a non-conformist. Everyone else is conforming, and I'm like a free spirit and I choose.\" I'm expressing myself and I have my individualism and no one else does. And I heard that and thought that and you know we tried to have a relationship, a Jewish person, Jewish family, and I thought it's interesting. And maybe it's true and maybe the rest of us are conforming and blending in and she only has the courage to choose and to stand out. And then one day she had a birthday party for her child or some reason there was a gathering and all of her friends came over and they were all covered in piercings and tattoos and they were all standing out. They were a community of people who thought they were individuals but their individuality was to be a community of people who look the same. And yes I guess she made the choice whether to be part of this community or that community but ultimately at any given day or any given tattoo it was it wasn't a free will choice. It was what they were what part of. So much of our lives, the DNA, our mind, our memory, our intellectual capacity, our athleticism, our artistic ability, so much is inherited, so much is passed on, so much is predetermined, so much comes from above. Who we are and how we'll live so much already was established. What are our tastes? What are our likes? What are our pain threshold? What is our talents and skills? What are our liabilities and weaknesses and struggles? All of this was predetermined before we ever came to be. So what do we choose? What's left? You just took out the whole meaning and purpose of life if we don't really choose anything. Unless you think this is only like a idea that comes from a seifer, it's only הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים, you can Google this or ChatGPT this if you like and you'll see that there's constant today today research, philosophy, articles and books by secular people all debating whether there is such a thing as free will. Does it even exist free will? Is there even free will? Is there even free will? We live in time with AI, that AI someone recently shared with me, if you're using ChatGPT, there's a prompt for ChatGPT where ChatGPT will interview you for about an hour, takes 45 minutes to an hour to fill out, and then once you do and it now knows you and learns you, you can ask it really almost anything and it will tell you. Including this person shared with me, my wife is angry at me, please tell me what I should say to her that will make her happier, feel better, or forgive me. Because in the interview you've shared about the people in your life, your nature, who you are, I guess through whatever it is the questions that are being asked, your personality type, now it will. I'm not telling you this is a good thing for society, humanity, or this world. I'm not. In fact, my friend who told me about it I asked like how will your wife feel when she knows that whatever text you sent to make things right or script you memorized that you recited when you handed the flowers or chocolates that really someone or something else wrote for you? What will life look like when birthday and anniversary cards were just composed because you wrote to ChatGPT write something meaningful that my wife will like and does it anything have meaning anymore afterwards? I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm not saying it's a good thing. But soon you'll be able to your ChatGPT will learn you and then you'll ask it a question about the future of you or someone else and it will probably be able to answer you to an incredibly high level of accuracy and then you'll be left wondering do we even have free will anymore? If ChatGPT can learn someone, create an algorithm about them, and then predict what they're going to do, do they have free will? Did I just ruin your day by asking that question? It's we're living through and nobody's regulating and no one's supervising and it feels like there's no adult in the room who's figuring out is this good is this bad and what does the future look like for people, relationships, and life? It's all just happening and it's happening in sonic speed. So if it did ruin your day it should because it's a very scary thing. Of course it's all what Hashem wants and it couldn't be happening if it wasn't His will and how do we channel it, utilize it, and use it and transform it for the good? These are all questions. But the point I'm making is that we're living in a time where we'll see even more maybe than any other that we think we have free will we have very little of it. So what's left? What's left? What's the purpose and meaning of life? What's the point of it all if it'll become so predictable? Where's our free will? Where's our choice? hakol bidei shomayim. Everything has already been predetermined, pre-programmed, pre-destined. It's all there. It knows. I mean you can you'll be able to ChatGPT or whatever AI platform you'll use it'll learn someone and then you'll ask it in ten years what will so-and-so be wearing? Where will they be going? What will they be listening to? And it'll be able to answer it. So what's the point of it all? hakol bidei shomayim. Everything's been pre-programmed, pre-determined. What's the point? The answer is chutz miyirat shomayim. What's left is what we do. What's left is the core identity. What's left is the ultimate relationship with Hashem. True, true, whether I'll be able to dunk a basketball or will I be a scratch golfer or will I gain musical ability, will I become an artist, what kind of memory do I have, how smart, what is my IQ? So much is predetermined. Will I lose my hair or have hair? That one we all already got the answer to. What, what will be? True, it's true, so much is predetermined. But what do I do with what I have? What do I do with the cards I've been dealt? I can't control the dealer. I can't control and influence the cards I'm dealt. But how do I play them? How do I play them? Do I live a life with yirat shamayim? Do I feel I'm living on a mission from Hashem? Is life all about me, ego, or is life all about elokus? Is it all about my happiness, what I can eat and what I can take and me? Or is life all about what I can give and how I can serve? Is right, is the life about rights and entitlements, or is my life about duty and obligation? Is my life about living every possible physical pleasure, or is my life about enjoying the physical gifts and pleasures of this world but transforming them to be able to make contact with eternity, with immortality? Am I living in this world for this world or am I enjoying this world but living already for the next world? All of that, which is everything, is what's left. שעל כל דבר שמבקש אדם מידי שמים עושה לו או שלא לעשות לו אך מבקש אדם על יראת שמים אינו בידי שמים שלא לעשות לו ומי שמבקש על יראת שמים נענה. Says Rav David Abuchatzeira a beautiful vort. His vort is that the typical way of understanding this Gemara is what I just told you. That everything indeed has been, has been predetermined, has been pre-programmed. What's left? What do we still influence? What outcome are we still in charge of? What we do with it. The hand that we play. How we live and how we see ourselves. But here Rav David Abuchatzeira is giving a different vort. הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים. Listen to this vort. Hakol bidei shamayim. Everything Hashem gives the answer yes or no. Hashem, I want that house, I want that job, I want that dress, I want that money, I want that vacation, I want this health, I want this, everything we ask for is bidei shamayim. He decides. Is it right or wrong? Is it good or bad? Are we deserving or non-deserving? Should we get it or not get it? Hakol bidei shamayim, He decides. He decides. And by the way, parenthetically, thank God He does because sometimes we ask for things that aren't even in our best interest. Sometimes we ask for things that thank God He says no. Baruch Hashem that shidduch didn't go through. And Baruch Hashem even in some circumstances, Baruch Hashem even in some circumstances, and I say this as you know, as someone who went through that stillbirth, that that's even better than the alternative of a lifelong or a short life or a life of, of pain or deformity of what some, sometimes we don't know. את שועתם ישמע ויושיעם. We say in Ashrei, Et shavatchem. Our hopes and our prayers He hears, veyoshi'em and He saves us. If He hears our prayers why does He have to save us? So the tzaddikim say it means sometimes He hears our prayers and He saves us from them. He hears our prayers and He saves us from them. The child who comes and asks the parent, \"Can I go to that party? Won't you let me drag race down the highway? Can't I experiment and try that and try that substance?\" They ask. And when we say no it's not because we don't love. When we say no it's not because we don't want them to be happy. When we say no it's not, when we say no we're saving them from themselves. Hashem when it comes to our prayers often saves us from ourselves. And when He closes a door don't look at it as a rejection or a failure, look at it as He's rerouting, He's redirecting. That door closed and another one's going to open. And if He said no to that prayer, thank You. I thought that was what was best for me but through Your no I now know that that was not what's best for me by definition because if You said no it wasn't what was best. So I'm going to eat a wafer. I'm going to make a wafer party. Because if I broke up, I was reference to last week, if I broke up then it means Baruch Hashem You closed that door because I wasn't meant to walk through it. Veyoshi'em You saved me even from my own prayer. So Hakol bidei shamayim. Everything we ask for Hashem decides and determines whether we get or not. There's one thing that He has to say yes to. There's one thing that He can't answer empty-handed. And what is that? Chutz mi yirat shamayim. When we ask for more yirat shamayim. Hashem, I sincerely and authentically want to feel closer to You. Help me. Help me. Enable me, position me, soften and open. Help me. Help me feel your presence. Help me feel and see the hug and the wink. Help me extend my antenna and pick up your signal. Help me find the hot spot and connect high-speed to you. Help me! That request, He can't and doesn't turn around. That He doesn't reject. ובטעמא דמילתא שלבקשת יראת שמים יוכל אדם לצרף כל ענייניו וצרכיו הגשמיים and the fact that we can attach, we can attach all the requests we have, physical, material, to a request for yiras shamayim, to spirituality. How does that work? How does that work? האחד על פי מה שדרש הרבי הקדוש רב דב בער המגיד ממעזריטש. So the Maggid, the famous student of the Baal Shem, the Maggid of Mezritch, Rav Dov Ber explains based on a pasuk. Pasuk in Tehillim, יראו את השם קדושיו כי אין מחסור ליראיו. Where do you know that pasuk from? Benching. Dovid Hamelech, Tehillim, Kapittel Lamed Daled, Tehillim thirty-four. And where is that pasuk, we quote it, we say it, we sing it, where? In benching. יראו את השם קדושיו כי אין מחסור ליראיו. הירא את דבר השם אינו חסר מכל טובו שבעולם. A person who lives with the awareness, a person who lives with the consciousness, a person who lives that Hashem is involved in my life and I am where I'm meant to be and I let go and I let God, and nothing is chance or coincidence but it's all orchestrated from above, אינו חסר מכל טובו שבעולם, he's not missing anything. It's similar to what we saw השם רועי לא אחסר. If you're my shepherd, I'm not missing anything. Why? Because even while I have to, as that email writer wrote, I have to rely or lean or ask others to help me out because right now I don't have a job, but I'm not missing anything because that's where I'm meant to be, that's how I'm meant to live. Hashem, You made them my agents, they are your partners in helping me until I have that next paycheck. I'm not miserable, I'm not depressed, I'm not down and out, I'm not resentful and bitter, instead I embrace and recognize that this is how You want me to live right now, so I'm not chaser. Are we missing and are we lacking? It's not defined objectively. It's not determined by some external measure. Are we missing and are we lacking is answered only by ourselves, by how we live. Even when there are things or people that are missing in our life and they're very painful, and I'm not minimizing them in the least. When people we love are taken from us, or when people are going through a hard time, or when people have lost their mobility or their health or their memory, it's not a simple thing to say, oh, well that's what Hashem wants and I guess it's all good and wonderful news. Of course not, of course not. And that's the emunah or the letters of humane, we have to be humane and human in practicing emunah. Our emunah is not in lieu of or in place of being humane; we experience and practice emunah as human beings with that recognition. But after we think about it and after we experience it, we should try to process it in such a way that we feel ein machsor lire'av. That if I'm a yerei Hashem, a yerei shamayim, ein machsor, there's nothing missing because this is what's meant to be. והטעם כי יראת שמים נקרא בלשון חז\"ל אוצר. Yiras shamayim our Rabbis call, they label, it's a storehouse. Yiras shamayim is a storehouse. כדאיתא בגמרא ברכות דף לג ר' חנינא משום ר' שמעון בן יוחאי אין לו להקדוש ברוך הוא בבית גנזיו אלא אוצר של יראת שמים. The Gemara, Berachos, Daf Lamed Gimmel, Rebbe Chanina mishum ר' שמעון בן יוחאי. אין לו להקדוש ברוך הוא בבית גנזיו אלא אוצר של יראת שמים. What Hashem has in His warehouse or storehouse is yiras shamayim, the fear of heaven. שנאמר יראת השם היא אוצרו. Pasuk in Yeshaya. ובאוצר הרי נמצא וגנוז כל טוב שיש בעולם. If it's in Hashem's warehouse or storehouse, what does He have there? Only good things. So what is good? Yiras shamayim. ולכן הירא את השם הזוכה להיכנס לאוצר של הקדוש ברוך הוא שזה יראת שמים זוכה לקבל כל טוב הגנוז באוצרו של הקדוש ברוך הוא. If you want to go to Costco, what do you have to show at the entrance? Your membership card. And if you have a Costco membership card, you're entitled to go buy things in bulk. And if you don't have the Costco membership card, you cannot tap into those sales or buy those things in bulk or come home with things that you never knew existed or needed, but only because you went to Costco, now you need that special power washing thing to attach to your hose in your backyard or the new windshield wiper or the new whatever flavor popcorn that you never knew existed and don't need and your glucose levels certainly don't need, but now you come home. But you can't come home from Costco with anything in your trunk or the Kirkland scotch, it's unbelievable what Kirkland is producing, you can't come home, you can't get into Costco, let alone come home from it with anything unless you have what? A membership card to Costco, a membership card to Costco, a membership card to Costco. So, I'm debating whether to tell you a funny story. When I first got married, I tried to return something to Costco and it didn't go well and they canceled my in-laws' Costco card and I had to figure out how to not tell them and get it reinstated before they knew and I was newly married, Baruch Hashem it all worked out. Anyway, they're here to tell about it. Anyway, so that's the cost, that's the membership to get into Costco. How do you get into Hashem's Costco? What's the membership card that you have to show and flash at the door to get into the אוצר של הקדוש ברוך הוא? How do you get into the warehouse and storehouse, how do you get into the enormous Costco of Hashem to tap into the incredible bracha, the shefa bracha, the incredible amount of blessing that He has for us? You know what you have to show him at the entrance? Yirat shamayim. You don't pay for membership and there's no card with your picture. What you have to show at the entrance to get in is: Hashem, I know you're here, I live with you, I pick up your signal, I talk to you and I hear you talking to me, I recognize and I appreciate the winks and the hugs and I reciprocate them, I live with yirat shamayim. That's the cost, that's the entrance, that's the card, the membership to get in. And when you do, now you can access all the good. They mean to say that whatever is in our life, whatever we're going through, we can learn from, we can grow, even not winning the lottery, which that author told me is for my own good, and while I want to disagree she's a hundred percent correct. And I don't buy lottery tickets every day, every week or every month. And I don't know why or when I decided to buy it. As if a hundred million won't be enough, it's only when it reaches a billion that I'm willing to buy a ticket. There's no logic or rationale, it makes no sense. And when I buy it, it's not for me. I have it לשם יחוד קודשא בריך הוא, I say, Hashem, this is not ego, it's elokus, here's how I'm going to divide it among institutions and staff and changing and repairing and redeeming your world and we're partners and we're in it together and I can't wait and surely I'm going to win, and then I don't even get one number. Not even one number. So, and she's right. Why? Why is it? So when Hashem says no, do I say I give up? I give up? You see the building going up, it's unbelievable. And it's not a building, it's not bricks and mortar. The roof is now up, it's incredible. We're not putting up a building for a building, we're putting up a building because the emunah shiur is going to quadruple in size and where are we going to hold it? Because all South Florida is going to come every week because we've got the best coffee slushies and pastries and a decent emunah shiur and where are we going to put it? So Hashem, if you want more of your children coming to our spiritual gym to work out emunah muscles and leave healthier, happier, and holier, help us. I still have four million to go. We could solve that right now if you like. And every time Hashem says no to the lottery, I feel why are you doing this? I put in a lot of time, a lot of work, a lot of effort, I'd rather write a book, a sefer. I'd rather give more shiurim. I'd rather check in on more people. I'd rather pay attention and care more for the klal. Why do I have to spend time in this fundraising? Ella mai, as the author of the email is one hundred percent correct in saying, Hashem is telling me, Goldberg, nice try, I'm not making it easy or convenient because you're going to grow and you're going to be better by the work you have to put into this. So it was nice try, get back to work. Get back to work. You could be miserable and debilitated, you could be depressed and despondent, you could say woe is me and why me and I'm a victim of everything. Or you could step up and take responsibility. Stephen Covey writes in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People that the word responsibility, the etymology of the word responsibility is response-ability. It's your ability to respond. Some people don't respond. They're always constantly victims of everything. It's not my fault, it's this other person, it's life's circumstance, if I were married to the right person and I had the right children, if I woke up on the right side of the bed, if I felt the right way, if Hashem gave me the right parents or the right genetics or the right DNA, if I had the right bank account, if I had the right car, if I had the right... it's everyone else's fault always. They shirk and they pass the buck and they never take achrayut or responsibility. But responsibility is the ability, the capacity to respond. It says alai, achrai, it's on me. It's on me. Hashem you closed one door, I gotta burst through and run through another. Hakadosh Baruch Hu you said no here, then I'm going to find another way. Or that wasn't my mission and I need to pivot and figure out where I am and what I am meant to do next and what's my mission. Achrayut, responsibility, the ability to respond. What am I meant to do? What's the message for me? I didn't win the lotto, literally the lotto, or figuratively the lotto. Some people did not win the lotto of life when it comes to their mazel, their health, their relationships. Some people feel I haven't won the lotto. Okay, but that also is an answer and determined from above from Hashem. And a person who lives that way with yirat shamayim... so you get to the... the storehouse called life, and you say, how do I tap into bracha, how do I go home and make sure I'm not empty-handed, how do I fill my cart with what I need, the answer is to get in, the membership card is yirat shamayim, a relationship with the Almighty, with the one above. And then by definition whatever's in your cart when you leave is what you need. It's what you have. So instead of saying, if only, and I would, and I could, and I'm a victim, and I'm a martyr, and I blame everyone else, and it's not my fault, and woe is me, instead say, whatever I am and whatever I have and whatever is next, it's all, it's all what's meant to be, it's all from above. Great. What's next? What do I do with it? What's next? What do I do with it? What do I do with it? How do I live the best with it? How do I lean into it? How do I find Hashem with it? That doesn't mean become complacent or apathetic. It doesn't mean that she should say, I guess I rely on others and I'm done looking for a job. Keep looking for a job and find that job and pay it forward where you can help other people because you have an amazing job. Of course if someone's sick or ill or in the hospital or rehab, work to get better, fight to get better, undergo whatever rehab or therapy you need to bounce back and be better. We're not apathetic or complacent. We shouldn't just give in to wherever we are. We should try to break out and be somewhere else but after our effort, after our initiative, after we do everything we can, that's when we lean in to accept we are where we're meant to be in life and then, and then, we're living ein machsor liyre'av. If I'm counted among yirei'av, if I live a life of, then ein machsor, I'm not missing anything. I'm not missing anything. The most righteous people you know and maybe that you've visited or you heard from, they live a life, many, of struggle, of struggle. You hear incredible people like I said Rabbanit Jen Airley, robbed this past Shabbos, and now thanks to technology you can hear interviews with incredible hostages who got out. Read Eli Shurabi's memoir who, who, who came home to find out who he had lost and yet somehow still talks like ein machsor, like there's nothing missing. Of course it's missing and he lives every day with those who are missing and the pain is unbearable of what's missing. But he hasn't given up, he's not hiding, he didn't retreat and recoil into a corner, he's living life with his next mission. What's next? What's next for me? What's my mission? What am I meant to do next? What's next? Ein machsor, I'm not missing. I'm not missing. When you're yirei'av, ein machsor, there's nothing missing. So whether we're living life as woe is me and if only I had and what I'm missing and why don't I and where is it and, then, or we're living life as I have what I'm meant to have and my life is good. Meaning your life can be ups and downs but you present and live like it's linear. And your life could be almost linear and you act like it has the highest ups and downs. I've seen it. I see it. In my position and my life I see it literally almost every day. People who have won the lottery, they have health and wealth and good things and yet they live like they're miserable and upset and things frustrate and upset them and they sacrifice and compromise their own physical emotional health and they live with the highest ups and downs even though their life has won the lottery and if they'd only lean in and realize that this is Hashem's plan. You do your best, you take your initiative, you try to influence people and things and circumstances and then you accept them with hishtavus, with equanimity. And then you live happy and healthy and holy. And then there are people who are lacking and missing limbs, health, mobility, joints. There are people who are struggling with health and finances and relationships and when you see them they look so happy and life is going so well and they act like they won the lottery even though there's so much missing. So how could it be? People who won the lottery who act like they're missing everything and people who are missing everything and they live and look like they won the lottery. How? The answer is yirat shamayim. When you live a life of emuna and bitachon, when you live a life and you say Hashem, this isn't just random and chance and I'm not a victim, but You're in charge, You're in control and I'm Your partner in being an arbiter of my own destiny. And whatever I have I'm meant to have and whatever's missing I can still work towards but recognize along the way that if I don't have it yet I'm not meant to and therefore it by definition is not missing because I'm not yet meant to have it. And now I can exhale and now I can breathe and therefore now I can live. Now I can live. When we have such a tight grip and tight control and we're trying so hard. I have a friend. This goes back many many many years and he, I remember he's a drummer. Jake, Jake Goldberg, and he told me once, I don't remember, he was hitting with sticks while we were talking and he said, I don't know why he shared this spontaneously, he said He said, what do you think makes you a better drummer? What gives you more control of the drumsticks when you're holding them tight, tightly, or loosely? So you would have thought, the tighter you hold, the more control you have, the better you're gonna play. He said no, the tighter you're gripping them, the tighter you're holding them, the worse you're gonna be able to play, the poorer the music you're gonna produce. And the looser that you hold it, the flow, you're fluid and the flow, and the same is true in tennis and golf, any sport which you're holding a bat in baseball, the tighter you're gripping it in life, the more likely you're gonna strike out, put the ball in the water, hit the ball into the net, whatever metaphor you want. The more that your drumstick is not gonna produce the sound that you want, you're gonna be offbeat. But the looser you go, then the more music you can play and the better you're gonna and the same is true in life. The tighter you have a hold and a grip on your life, you're gonna get blisters all over your hands, you're gonna play poorer music and you're gonna be defeated by life just like you would by your opponent in sports. The tighter you grip the poorer you're gonna play, music, sports or anything else. And the looser that you grip and you go with the flow and life is fluid, the more beautiful the music you're gonna play. So we're living our lives and some people are type A personalities, the executives, depending on different personality types, you're trying to grip everything and micromanage and pre-program and hold control and bring about the outcome and demand of people to think and behave and act and demand of circumstances and demand of everything to be the way you want, need and demand, and the tighter you're gripping and the worse the outcome will be. And the looser you hold on and the more yiras shamayim you have and you say, let's play Hashem, let's go, let's produce some great music, let's have fun on the court, let's go, and you're gripping loosely, the more beautiful the music. Hashem is in charge, ein machsor li'reyav. If you're yerei yerei Hashem, ein machsor, there's nothing missing, there's nothing missing. Hashem Roee, when you live life, I don't just talk about the shepherd, I know the shepherd, I live with the shepherd, I welcome to be shepherded by the shepherd, I love the shepherd, and I always feel the shepherd cares about and loves me. And then Hashem Roee when he's my shepherd lo echsar, I'm not missing anything. So I just, you wish you could just bottle emuna and inject it like Ozempic and let people change their lives so radically because all of a sudden they're no longer struggling. I wish, if anyone knows how by the way let me know, we could bottle that we'll make billions and trillions and finish our buildings and everything else. You want to go over to the people who are gripping so tight and give them an injection of emuna bitachon that allows them to no longer struggle with needing to control and micromanage, that enables them to let go and let God. Imagine if we could, right? Then there'd be no real really no purpose to life. We can't and we won't and it'll never be discovered and it'll never be introduced because that's not what life is. Life is that every day from when we wake up until we fall asleep, we confront the choices we make. Every car that approaches every traffic light, every time we travel, every person that we interact with and we hope they'll behave a certain way or do what we want or the outcomes that we desire, with each and every one of them we have a choice. Are we gonna grip tight or are we gonna grip loose? Are we gonna micromanage and have to demand that we're in control, or are we gonna make our best effort and take our greatest initiative but then afterwards let go and let God and say Hashem, this is yours, so I'm not missing it by definition if I'm with you. And I have my membership card to get into your storehouse because I see and feel and talk and listen to you all throughout my day. And so now let's go, bring the shefa bracha, bring the shefa bracha. So wishing everyone a happy, holy and healthy day. We're staying for ten minutes of questions and answers cause I went a little overtime. Questions on any topic, halacha, machshava, hashkafa, can be controversial or straightforward for those who come in person, and we are giving shiur next week, yeshiva week, everyone is invited down and we continue.
