Transcript
Good morning Boker tov, welcome back to Living with Emunah. I have source sheets here, sorry, if anybody would like to learn and follow inside. A freilichen Shushan Purim. It's wonderful to see everybody. I'm surprised how many women are hungover that are not here this morning, but it's a beautiful thing. A freilichen Shushan Purim everyone, hope everyone had a beautiful Purim. Our Emunah series is generously sponsored by Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Myron Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We remain very grateful to the Morgans for their generosity. This also co-sponsored the series in memory of the fallen soldiers and alumni Bnei David Mechina Yeshivat Eli. This week we're highlighting Ehud Udi Fogel who lived in Itamar. He and his wife Ruti were raising six children, a devoted teacher and rabbi known for his warmth, dedication to Torah. Friday night, March 11, 2011, terrorists murdered Udi, Ruti, and three of their children. Two sleeping sons survived and a daughter was away that evening. We dedicate our learning to them. Today's shiur sponsored by Michael Margolis in memory of Israel Margolis on his sixth yahrzeit. We miss Israel Margolis, our dear friend, and by Sarah Margolis in memory of her husband ישראל חיים בן הרב יוסף מאיר, our good friend Israel Margolis, נשמה שתהא לה עליה. Anonymously, thank you for the Living with Emunah series. By Aliza Ebrani for the z'chus for all the singles they find their זיווג הגון בקרוב אם ירצה השם. You know, Purim is a big day to daven. Purim is a big day that our tefillos get answered. Purim, just like in the original story, מה שאלתך וינתן לך. The Baal Shem Tov said that just like the king said to Esther what's your request and I'll give it to you, so the King of Kings, the Melech Malchei Hamlachim, asks what's our request and he gives it to us. It was true on Purim and it's true on Shushan Purim. So do not neglect, don't forfeit the chance to daven from the depth of your being today. First of all, for our brothers and sisters in all of Israel, but also for all those including here as this donor as this sponsor is saying, singles should find their zivug hagun. By Gavriel and Chana Leib in memory of, merit of their grandfather Shmuel ben Nechemia. Randy Goldfarb Botek with enormous gratitude for Living with Emunah. Martha Smoly in honor of her father's yahrzeit, Rabbi Jacob Handler, and anonymously on the yahrzeit of יצחק דב בר בן נחום. Thank you to all of our incredible generous sponsors. So, first of all, a word about Shushan Purim, then we'll get into our letters, then we'll get back into our text. But before I do all of that, I just want to thank Yocheved for picking up Living with Emunah last week while I was away. Well-deserved applause, not to mention the outstanding job she did at the Purim seudah last night and cleaning it all up singlehandedly. I got a lot of emails from people saying how incredible last week's Living with Emunah shiur was, some of which said, feel free to stay in Israel, we've so we're actually because of that feedback we're going to introduce a new feature which I decided, why do I have to give the shiur and do the question and answer at the end? So, maybe not every week but often, we're still negotiating, I'll give the shiur and then Yocheved will do the question and answer. So, stay tuned for this. They say the couple that teaches Living with Emunah together stays together. So, it's good for shalom bayis, im yirtzeh Hashem, im yirtzeh Hashem. So thank you. Shushan Purim. I'm tempted to talk a lot about Shushan Purim, I'm not going to because it's an Emunah shiur, not the Shushan Purim shiur, and because many will listen to this shiur not on Shushan Purim. But where does Shushan Purim begin? What is its origin? Its connection to Israel. The Ayaros mukafos choma, the cities that were walled from the time of Yehoshua bin Nun. It davka, specifically, this holiday is connected to Israel, Joshua's conquest of the land of Israel and that time, because we are to always feel connected to Israel. And right now we feel incredibly connected and we're thinking of our brothers and sisters, particularly those in Yerushalayim celebrating Shushan Purim. Our children there who are running in and out of shelters, interrupting their Purim seudah by going in and out of bomb shelters and running away from ballistic missiles, and Hashem should watch over and guard all of them. And just as the original defeat of Persia on these days of Purim, the current defeat of Persia, the miracles are just we spoke at our seudah last night. This I still remember. But we spoke that these miracles, you know, you read the Chumash, it's already erev Pesach, so I'll tell you something for Pesach. When you read the Chumash and you read the story about how Hashem hardened Pharaoh's heart, and every year you read it and every year you come to the Pesach Seder and you celebrate it and you say like come on what does that mean? What does it mean? Pharaoh was so stupid? After the first plague, okay maybe he thought it was a fluke. After the second plague, maybe he assumed it was a freak of nature. After the third plague, he thought it was a coincidence and random. Like by the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, pursuing them with the splitting of the sea, what does it mean that Hashem hardens Paro's heart? And chevra, we're watching, we're living, we're seeing, we're feeling this mamash in our time. 88 clerics get together in person yesterday to anoint the new Ayatollah. What a group of 88 morons. I'm saying they haven't learned by now? They don't know that Israel knows exactly where you're going, where you're going, what you're doing, what you had for breakfast. They know everything. They know what websites you've visited, they know everything. They know everything. So of course Israel dropped a bomb on that building and 88 clerics no more. That was it, gone. They were trying to get together to vote in the next Ayatollah and they're gone, and they're gone. Hashem keeps hardening the hearts of these morons who keep getting together and thinking they're immune. Khamenei himself who got together for breakfast in the morning with his cabinet. What do you think because it was the day, not night, all the misdirections? Okay, but still, still, how do you understand? The answer is you can't because Hashem is hardening their hearts because it's all part of His story. We're living historic biblical Torah times. We're seeing mamash miracles. Rav Rimon wrote, they anticipated that Iran at, over the last couple of years, because of its stockpile, if there would be a war, they anticipated chalila that there could be as many as 30,000 casualties in Israel. We're seeing miracles, miracles, miracles. It should just continue, it should only continue. We take nothing for granted, and we assume nothing, but it should just continue. These are miracles in our time. Shushan Purim is the day that we are supposed to feel very connected. But I'll just leave you with this thought and we'll get back into emuna. Why do we have an institution of Shushan Purim? It's funny, if you're in Yerushalayim, you observe Ta'anis Esther and then that was it. You broke your fast, you didn't hear Megilla, you just watched everyone else celebrate Purim all day, you did nothing. And now today, Shushan Purim you're celebrating. And today we're done, ois mensh, ois Purim. So today is the day after Purim. Today is the recovery day from Purim. Today is a little harder the older you get. Let me just tell you that. Made it to Kollel boker this morning, baruch Hashem, but was not easy. But so for us Purim is already in the rearview mirror but now it's Purim's happening in Yerushalayim live. Getting pictures, baruch Hashem, incredible. Why do we have two days? Where do you see that? Yes, it's true today we have יום טוב שני של גליות. You have Israel has one day of Yom Tov and the punishment for living in the diaspora is two days of Yom Tov. But that just comes because we had a safek, we had a doubt when Yom Tov falls, the calendar, and we continue minhag avoseinu beyadeinu, we continue to commemorate it today. But it was never instituted to begin with as two separate days. Pesach is the first day, we just keep a second day. And Succos is the same, we just keep a second day. And Shavuos is the same day, we just keep a second day. But it's the same day. And yet here, it was instituted as two separate days. Meheicha tisei, where do you see such a thing and why would that be? So last week on our Mevakshim flight to Israel, 25 of us went to go meet with Rebbes, Roshei Yeshiva, Rabbonim, media personalities, the US Ambassador to Israel, we had incredible, incredible week. So Rav Machlis, those who know Rav Machlis, the great Rav Machlis, great talmid chacham, incredible ba'al chesed, the great Rav Machlis. So Rav Machlis asked this question and he suggested the following answer. He gave this beautiful answer. He said maybe because Purim is all about simcha. So it's one thing to feel simcha for ourselves and it's one thing to feel simcha for you when we're all in the simcha together. You go to a Purim seuda and everybody is so happy and they're hugging, there's more hugging and kissing and affection and love and dancing and handholding, b'ezras Hashem a Purim seuda, baruch Hashem, a Purim seuda. It's I'm b'simcha, you're b'simcha, I'm b'simcha for you, you're b'simcha for me because we're all simcha today because it's our day. It's our day. It's a happy environment, it's a happy atmosphere, there's joy in the air, there's simcha for everyone. But the real test of simcha is can I be happy for you on your day? And can you be happy for me on my day? When your day is not my day and my day is not your day, can we still share in the simcha? Maybe that's why Purim, the holiday of simcha, there were two different days designated, suggested Rabbi Machlis. Can you look at the pictures of the people in Yerushalayim today and feel, ah, it's still Purim, I'm still Purim, I'm still b'simcha. And could they for us yesterday feel I'm b'simcha? The highest level of simcha is tifergin. There is no translation of that word in any other language. Tifergin is to be happy for somebody else, to take joy for somebody else, to share in the simcha of somebody else. נושא בעול עם חברו doesn't just mean to feel empathy when someone is going through a difficult time, to feel their pain, which is how we should be feeling for those who are in and out of shelters. נושא בעול עם חברו is not only to feel the pain of another, it is to share in the simcha of another. The Alter of Kelm said, which is harder? To share in the pain of another or to share in the simcha of another? It's harder to share in the simcha of another. You know why? Because when someone's going through a crisis, an emergency, you say, well thank God that's not me, so I'll cook them a meal or I'll drive their carpool or I'll do whatever I need to do and I feel their pain, I'm just grateful it's not me. But when someone else is having a simcha you say, why isn't that me? Why not me? My child should be getting married, I should be having grandchildren, I should win the lottery, I should have—why not me? So it's harder, it's harder to fargin, to be able to be happy for somebody else, that's Shushan Purim. Different days because the highest level, the the most authentic level of simcha is not just to be happy for me and to be happy for you on my day, but is to be able to be happy for people even when it's not even when it's not your day. So a freilichen Shushan Purim should be a beautiful beautiful Shushan Purim. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, thank you for all your shiurim, everything you do. I spent this past Shabbos with my father in the hospital. The hospitality room at the hospital was taken, I wound up sleeping, trying, on the chair in the cath lab waiting area. It was a little cold and uncomfortable, I said, Hashem, I'm fulfilling Kibbud Av v'Eim being here. I am where I'm meant to be and this is on your cheshbon. Whatever it is, it is. A short time later, I was startled by someone walking by. She asked if I was alright and if I was sleeping there all night. I said yes. She asked if I'd like a blanket and I said it would be great. She came back with two warm blankets, I think you call that an embrace and a hug from Hashem. Thank you, and his father should have a complete and speedy Refuah Shlema. As I'm writing to you, dear Rabbi Goldberg, I'm very emotional due to the situation that just occurred. As per my previous email about my baby in the NICU, an update we got transferred to the PICU and we're seven months in. My husband and I take turns going back and forth to the hospital. The other night we got there at a time we don't normally go around 6:30 PM due to having our other two toddlers at home since it's prime time for dinner, bath, and bedtime. My in-laws were over and told us to go to the hospital and they'll take care of the kids. Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem we got there and when we did, he was asleep and we decided to reposition him since he was slouching on the pillow. The lights were off, it was the middle of the shift change. My mom instincts came in and I knew something was wrong. All of a sudden his eyes were dilated and he was blue. We called for help, no alarms were working for some reason. My husband rushed in the hallway to call for help, it took 20 seconds. They came and bagged him and he was okay Baruch Hashem. I can't imagine to even think if we weren't there. It takes four minutes for brain damage to occur. This was all Hashem. We were in the right place at the right time. It was my husband's grandfather's Yahrtzeit, knowing he was looking out for us as well. So they weren't meant to be there, they never go during that time, but the parents came and watched the kids and said go and they were exactly where they needed to be. And again, there's different reactions. That could happen, you could say, Hashem, where are you? It's not bad enough seven months in a NICU and a PICU and now you had to go through that? Or you could say, Hashem, you gave me a hug and a wink, thanks for putting us where we needed to be in that moment. Thank you for all that you do. The choice is ours, which way we view it, which way we see it, the choice is entirely entirely up to us. Hi Rabbi Goldberg. Hi. Thank you for the shiur. Two weeks ago after my husband finished his sixth round of Miluim we decided we needed a break. Sixth round, sixth round of Miluim. Heroes. These people are not from this world. Sixth round. The husband and the wife. Sixth round of Miluim. We decided we needed a break to refresh and recharge so we went on a snowboarding trip. On the last day of the trip on our last run of the mountain, we got to the bottom, congratulated each other on our incredible time away, and decided we should end there on a high before anyone got injured as we felt exhausted. As we started walking to return our snowboards, I put my hand in my pocket to find the zipper open and my phone was gone. We tried Find My Phone but the location was off. I decided the best thing to do was go back up the mountain and snowboard back down the last route we came to see if we could find it. Only problem was the ski lifts were starting to close. Instead of taking the lift that would take me to the top, I had to take a different lift, hike through the snow to get to the right starting point. As I was struggling to walk through the snow, it was up to my thighs, I started to cry. Why was I up here? I just wanted to go back to our hotel. Why did Hashem make me lose my phone? But those thoughts were so fleeting because the next thing I began to say was my phone is exactly where it's meant to be. I finally got to the start of the run and began snowboard down looking for my phone. I got to the bottom of the run and didn't find my phone but I kept saying this is all for a reason even if I lost my phone forever. Hashem has a plan and my phone is where it's meant to be. What's the big deal, we survived a war, I'll buy a new phone. I felt that with my emuna, this was such a small thing in the grand scheme of things. I also told my husband that if the story had a worthwhile ending, I'll send an email to the Emuna shiur. I'm a little bit embarrassed about the ending but I'll share it anyway because it's pretty funny. We walked back to our hotel to get ready to pack and leave and there next to my bed was my phone, which I had apparently left in the hotel room without realizing. Having been able to remain calm and remember everything is from Hashem was an amazing feeling and I really owe a lot of credit to the shiur, so thank you. I share it because we should send them on another snowboarding trip, sixth round of miluim. Unbelievable, unbelievable people. I share it because it had a great ending, he forgot the phone. But I want to share it because something she didn't say. That means that the entire time that she went and was going up the ski lift and was snowboarding down, going back up and snowboarding down, never once did she try to reach for her phone to just check what's going on. She was fully present with her husband. That's the unwritten part of the email that in some ways is the most remarkable part of the email. That capacity to disconnect to connect. And it's a reminder to all of us in those moments davening, at the Emuna shiur, in life, to be able to disconnect from our phones, disconnect from what we're doing to be fully present, to be where we are and to spend the time in the way that we're meant to. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I want to share a small thing that happened this week, one of the simple moments feels like it captures what our group is all about. My wife asked me to stop at the kosher supermarket on the way home. As you can imagine the parking lot was packed. Spots were at a premium. I thought I had found one but someone was coming from the other direction and clearly thought the same thing. For a split second I considered making it into a thing. You know, that showdown. It never ends well. But instead I let him take it and I told myself I trust Hashem will take care of me with the next one. After circling a few more times I pulled up next to an open spot just as someone was parking. And you know what the license plate said? No, look at this license plate. License plate says Emuna. After circling a few times I pulled up next to an open spot just as someone was parking and the license plate read Emuna. It felt like a little wink from Hashem. I was wondering if this might qualify as a new type of Kapittel 23 sighting. Thank you for the encouragement. Keep our eyes open to the messages Hashem sends. I happened to be listening to living with Emuna while all this was happening which made it even better. I shared it on our family chat too to spread the theme at home. Emuna. There was another one. Emuna license plate. I gotta meet whoever has the Emuna license plate. So if you live in New Jersey, the Garden State and you got the Emuna license plate, let us know. That's a great license plate. Emuna. You know it's an amazing thing. There are people who everyone's got the new, used to be Fitbit, what's the new one called? They wear the ring that measures everything, the bracelet that measures everything. What's it called? Oura? No, the Oura is the ring. What's the new bracelet? Whoop? Somebody said to me you gotta get it. If you have the Chase Reserve card, you can get it for free, the first year free, they'll send it to you. I said why should I get it? Oh, it tracks everything, tracks your sleep. I said okay like what? It'll tell you how many hours you got REM sleep, deep sleep, no sleep. I said and what do you do with that data? Now I know. I said every morning I wake up I know I didn't sleep well. I don't need, I don't need to wear something around my wrist to tell me what I know that's not, if the data's going to change something, if you're going to alter your life, because you're going to go to sleep earlier, you're not going to look at your phone before you go to sleep, if you're not going to change anything anyway, what's the data going to help? So one of the things all these things do, it tracks how many steps you took. Supposed to take 10,000 steps, 10,000 steps. So the same person who's working to the 10,000 steps a day will get in a huge fight over the parking, over that parking spot right next to the store. So park a little bit further away. That's a way to get steps. Don't fight, don't circle, don't waste your time going around and around. There's a holy Jew, a good friend of mine. I won't say his name, I don't have his permission. So we used to have a lunch and learn at a local hospital. There was a cancer center that some of the doctors there we had a lunch and learn. And he came, he wasn't one of the doctors. I worked out with him one time and like typical person at the time I was also circling, finding the best spot, waiting for the best spot, the closest spot, trying to minimize the steps I'd have to take. I walked out with him and he's parked the farthest spot with a whole bunch of empty rows from where he's parked. So I thought he did it because he wanted to maximize how many steps. He said, I come here for lunch and learn, but there are people who come here for treatment. They need the closest spots. I park as far as I can to make sure that they'll never ever have to park further than me. They deserve all the closest spots. What a mentality. What an attitude. What an attitude. The next week I parked a little further away. Not quite as far as him. A little, a little, a little further away, a little further away. So embrace part of Hashem's message if you don't find that spot close. Don't get into beef, don't get like the, you know, here we go, it's like you hear like the cowboy, the music playing from like the showdown of the two cars, right the, what's it called? Wild West music is playing, the two cars, the drivers lock eyes, who's going to get that spot? Just keep, park far away, get your steps in, be grateful Hashem is helping you exercise. Let's keep going, a couple more. Past week I had the immense privilege to be at Boca Raton Synagogue for a Shabbaton and I got to meet the wonderful Rebbetzin. Unfortunately I didn't get the opportunity to say hi to you. You didn't miss anything. However, I almost didn't make it to Florida. It's not the most outrageous story but I want to share. An erev Shabbos flight probably not my best idea but was supposed to leave at 7:30 a.m. When I woke early for the flight it was delayed until 10:00. Boruch Hashem there were no future delays until I got to the airport. We boarded about 20, 30 minutes late but once we were on the flight we were delayed again. As I sat on the plane not knowing if I'd make it to Boca for Shabbos with no backup plan I listened to a Living With Emunah shiur. I kept saying I'm exactly where I'm meant to be and if Hashem wants me to make it for Boca for Shabbos I will. Boruch Hashem we landed in Florida. Once we landed there was another delay on the tarmac and then at the gate. Florida was packed and I was out of sorts I didn't realize my Uber arrived among all the cars. However my dad called to give me my brocha before Shabbos just before the Uber was going to leave and I was able to catch my Uber before they left. Boruch Hashem I made it to Boca Raton just as the program was starting for the Shabbaton. Hashem wanted me to be in Boca for Shabbos. By keeping the Living With Emunah shiur in mind knowing I have no control Hashem will put me where I'm supposed to be. I was able to stay calm. I didn't get overwhelmed and freak out despite traveling alone with erev Shabbos delays. Thank you for helping in my emunah growth enabling me to stay calm. Such an honor be able to be in your beautiful and welcoming community for Shabbos. Everyone was so kind surreal experience and we're glad they made it. I'll tell you that we I told you we were last week in Israel. And there was a big question whether we should go 25 of us. Because first of all nobody should ever use the language getting stuck in Israel. I'll just say on behalf of everybody I'm not minimizing those who had plans to come back who couldn't but we shouldn't use the language stuck. A Yid is never stuck in Israel. And there's 10 million of our brothers and sisters 8 9 million of our brothers and sisters they have nowhere else to go and they're going nowhere else that's their home. And even if somebody right now lives elsewhere if that's where they are a Jew is never stuck in Israel. Frustrating disappointing they're trying to be back not easy for their family I'm not minimizing it but language matters and we should be careful with the language that we use and the sensitivity that we show others. So we were concerned I needed to be back for Purim Boruch Hashem a lot of responsibilities to the shul two Bar Mitzvahs this past Shabbos should we go should we go should we go. And then we decided if El Al's flying we're going. We went. And the whole time we were there there were many who were concerned. Should I switch my flight should I leave early should I go back will we get stuck are we going to be here if a war breaks out what's going to be what's going to happen. And we got back. We left our flight was supposed to leave Thursday night it was delayed they left 6:00 a.m. Friday morning. We landed at 1:00 in Miami. The last flight out of Israel we were back we're back. Why am I telling you all this. Because I was working out my Living With Emunah muscle all week. And every time this conversation happened I said to myself and to everyone if there's a decision to make then think about it but if there's no decision to make and there's nothing you're going to change then all you're doing is worrying and worrying is not going to change when this war begins. Bibi didn't hear oh there's a group of mevakshim here and they're worried let's postpone a little bit longer. My kids actually thought that when I landed at 1 p.m. I texted someone and told them it's okay you can go in now. That's why the war started Friday night. But that did not happen. So but we're in these moments and these situations. That's exactly why we're learning all this and that's why I love and try to read to you these emails of which I have a big pile here because it was two weeks. But the reason I shared these emails are these are examples these are examples of when we're in these moments and in the past we'd panic we don't have to. Stay calm and carry on take a deep breath and realize I'm not in charge I'm not in control and there's no more initiative for me to take there's nothing for me to do and so it will all be the way it's meant to it'll all be the way it's supposed to be. In fact one member of our group did switch his flight and he had tremendous unease about it. He needed to get back and he wasn't sure why and if he was right and should he have. And on that flight two hours after leaving Israel they asked on the plane is there a doctor he's a doctor. He said I am. And he examined this woman and he said we need to land the plane right now. And they landed the plane right then it was a Jewish woman they landed in Portugal and the woman was taken from the plane into emergency surgery. Which by the way he posted in our group does anyone know anyone in Portugal he got in touch with the Chabad there and it helped the woman and he said now I know why Hashem had me on this plane. Hashem had me change my flight put me on this plane to be there to help that person and that woman she should continue to have a refuah sheleima. But the point is that in all these moments you could live with a menuchas hanefesh you could live with a calm because you know he's in charge he's in control. So let go you're not the pilot you're not the driver you're the passenger and the passenger has the luxury of closing their eyes and falling asleep and waking up at the destination. And you don't know about all the near misses and the turns and the traffic and the detours and the reroutes you fell asleep you have the luxury of falling asleep in the passenger seat and you wake up when you get there. And in our lives there are things that we're the driver you got to take initiative you got to make a choice. And those are the moments that it's difficult we daven on it we ask Hashem for help and siyata d'shmaya for it. But if there's no more initiative to take there's no more decision to be made then stop thinking about it then stop being anxious about it stop being worried about it because it's all in Hashem's hands. Okay, one last email because we need a Psalm 23 sighting, even though we got a big pile here and they're all so good, hard to leave any out. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, first and foremost I want to thank you wholeheartedly for everything you do. I've been listening to the shiurim. I had the privilege of meeting with you briefly when I brought a group from Aish UK to visit. We came and spent the day with you. You may not remember, we certainly remember you. I remember, wonderful group. Before I get to the story which is very much a Psalm 23 story I want to say blah blah blah. Now the story. I was at Aish HaTorah for a few months, this was Rosh Hashanah 2024 and I was getting ready for the Yamim Noraim. A Rav there said to me you should buy a Sefer Tehillim, Tehillim is the gateway to the heart. Now I should say growing up in the UK I'm not exactly the most emotionally expressive person. At least I wasn't back then, but I thought why not, let's try it. I went to Manny's in the old city the next day, bought myself some sefarim. As I was checking out I noticed a display of pocket sized Tehillim in different languages. I went back and forth over which one to take. In the end I chose a French one since French is my mother tongue, my parents are French, which becomes relevant later, and I thought it would speak more directly to my heart. I went back to the Rav and asked which Psalm I should be reading. He said you're 22 years old so you should read Psalm 23, the Psalm of the year of life you are currently in. I thanked him and went back to Psalm 23. As I flicked through the book I noticed something strange. One page said Psalm 22 and the very next page said Psalm 81. I thought that can't be right. I flicked through the rest of the 600 page pocket Tehillim and realized it was the only misprinted page in the entire book. The header was wrong. I went back to Manny's a little frustrated, told the man behind the counter I bought this Tehillim to read the Psalm of the year of my life and the very page appears to be missing. He looked at it carefully and said no it's there, look at the Hebrew. It says Psalm 23, it's all there in Hebrew and French, only the header is wrong. That hit me. The one page I was looking for, the header was wrong but the page was right. That night at my evening at my night seder I raised this with my chavruta. Several weeks prior he and I had spoken about the question of my name. My English name is such and such but my Hebrew name is Yaakov and I wasn't sure which to go by. Some people at Aish were becoming more observant, had non Jewish names what switched to their Hebrew name, made sense, but in my case both names are biblical, neither is less Jewish than the other. I didn't know what to make of it. My chavruta felt something was clearly going on, he said we'll look into it. He suggested that I read Psalm 81 as a potential sign. I read it and I didn't connect to it nearly as much. A few hours later at midnight he texted me, I cracked it. The gematria of Yaakov is 182 and the gematria of this other name is 101, the difference between them is 81. The very Psalm whose number appeared on the misprinted page where Psalm 23 should have been. Psalm 23 on the other hand I connected to deeply. I had become drawn to observance largely through music and Shabbos. I remember sitting at shalosh seudos on many occasions truly swept away with the tish would sing Psalm 23. To this day it's my favorite. When I'm stuck in traffic I keep a pocket Tehillim in my glove box and sing it to myself loudly. It wakes up my neshama in a way very little else does. As you could see in the video and screenshot attached, his conclusion was this: the phrase, the English name praises, is gematria of 101 plus 81 which equals 182, the gematria of Yaakov, and it is precisely through tfilah and praise when I open my heart to Hashem I channel my inner Yaakov. That is when the two names become one. My chavruta shared another insight. There's another alternative system of gematria where instead of the standard value 1 to 10 then 20 30 40 you count linearly from 1 to 26. In that system Yaakov and the English name shared the exact same gematria 47. At a deep level they're the same. The more you look into things the more you recognize absolute unity of Hashem. Long story short, Kapitol 23 changed my life and it continues to change my life to this day. I now love Tehillim, Shabbos, Eretz Yisroel. Following a year in corporate finance after my time in Yeshiva, after many davening sessions pouring out my heart I decided to return to Israel for good, making aliyah and to do my time in the IDF in the Tzava. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you. What an incredibly inspiring, what a beautiful email. Okay back into our text of David Abuchatzeira trying to make our way through this perek. Okay what are we up to? I think we're on page Kuf Lamed Gimmel bottom of the left hand column. That's where we're going to start anyway. וזה פירוש הרב הקדוש ר' משה לייב מסאסוב Hasassover על דברי התורת כהנים שהביא רש\"י בתחילת פרשת בחוקותי. Parshas Bechukosai begins with the following words, אם בחוקותי תלכו יכול זה קיום המצוות כשאומר ואת מצוותי תשמרו הרי מצוות אמור. Hashem says Im Bechukosai Teleichu, if you walk with my chukim. What are chukim? If you say chukim are laws, chukim can't be the mitzvos because the mitzvos it says explicitly too, V'es Mitzvosai Tishmoru. מה אני מקיים אם בחוקותי תלכו שתהיו עמלים בתורה. Our rabbis deduce, our rabbis learn from here since we mentioned mitzvos, Im Bechukosai Teleichu has to be something else. What does it mean? Shetihiyu Ameilim Batorah. You can't be superficial in your learning of Torah. You can't be casual. It's not a spectator sport. It's not passive. Shetihiyu Ameilim. Amelus. You gotta dig deep, dive deep. You gotta work hard. You gotta toil. V'es mitzvosai tishmoru שתהיו עמלים בתורה על מנת לשמור ולקיים k'mo shene'emar ולמדתם אותם ושמרתם לעשותם. What's the purpose of diving deep? What's the purpose of working hard? To enhance and to empower and to enrich our observance of mitzvos. The more we learn, the more we understand, the more excited we are, the more enthusiasm we'll have, the more our mitzvos are going to have meaning, the more they're going to transform us. U'berev hakodesh me'Sastov, turn the page, שהכוונה הציווי שתהיו עמלים בתורה היא שאף כאשר תהיו עמלים במשא ומתן ובעסקי עולם הזה יהיו גם המה בתורה דהיינו כדת וככהלכה על פי התורה ביושר ובצדק. So beautiful, said the Sastover. What this limud, what this drasha means is, as we're going about our daily life, as we're going about what seems to be mundane, shopping in the supermarket, going to work, going to work in business, whatever we're doing we think, I have my religious life, that's in shul. My religious life, that's on the holidays. And now I'm just going about my rest of life. I'm going to work, I'm going to the supermarket, I'm going to the gym, I'm going with the rest of life. Right? Says the Sastover, no. She'tihyu amelim batorah. Whatever your amel is in, should be how? Through Torah. So you're at work, you're taking the Torah with you. You're in the gym, you're taking the Torah with you. You're in the supermarket, you're taking the Torah. Hashem is with us wherever we are. He's by our side. He's next to us. He's urging us on. He's got His arm around us. He's also watching us. And He's observing us. And He's supervising. And we're accountable to Him. But she'tihyu amelim, wherever and whatever we're doing that's amel, should be batorah. It's an amelus that should happen with the Torah. You can't go to shul where you shuckle and then you go into work and business where you're ruthless. You can't at work be a different person than you are at home. We're meant to lead consistent lives. Our entire life should be through, interpreted through, seen through, experienced through the prism of Torah. Hashem is with us everywhere. Whether you're on the plane, whether you're at... everything is, Hashem is by my side. It's all with Hashem. כדת וככהלכה על פי התורה ביושר ובצדק. Ad kan d'varav. U'lephi d'varav אפשר להוסיף לבאר דברי התורה כענינם she'tihyu amelim batorah שעליכם לעמול הרבה כדי שיהיו מעשיכם לפי התורה. Do the amelus so that you know and will observe everything through the principles and the rules of Torah. But it also means that anything that we're amel in, we should do it with Torah. Torah should guide, Torah should inform, Torah should inspire everything, everything that we do. כי אכן עבודה גדולה יש כאן. There's a big avodah. There's a big work. Namely, יש לו לאדם להתחנן ולזכות לסיעתא דשמיא להצליח במלאכת עבודת הקודש זו. If you want to lead that life, if you want to lead a life like the people who write these emails, many of you have written those emails, you can write those emails, but if we want to be on that level, you have to daven for it. It's not going to happen on its own. You have to daven for siyata d'shmaya, daven for divine assistance in seeing Hashem in our lives. Again, it's counterintuitive. It sounds illogical. I'm going to daven to Hashem to see Hashem? It's counterintuitive. It doesn't seem to make sense. It's paradoxical. But any success in any area of life that we want to have, we need His help. We need His help. So it's hard. This is very easy to learn. It's very easy to come to emunah shiur and listen to the emails and listen to the Torah and say, absolutely, and I want, and I should, and I will. And then you find yourself in that place. You know, one of the emails I got was a difficult email. There are some people who want to be back. They're missing a family simcha because Ben Gurion airport is not yet open. And it's hard. It's easy to embrace your place when you have nowhere else to be. It's easy to embrace your place when the stakes aren't so high. It's a lot harder to embrace your place when you desperately want to be anywhere else. And not only are you not where you want to be, where are you instead? In a bomb shelter, maybe with strangers, maybe uncomfortable, maybe not dressed the way... Only Israel, I don't know if everyone saw this, there's a website, Only Israel. Somebody in Israel quickly over the last couple days put together a website calculating the best times to take a shower that are the least likelihood that it'll be interrupted by a siren. It's a website based on algorithms and the sirens and when they're coming and it's telling you what's that, what's it called? CanIShower.com or .org. Can I shower? It's mamash unbelievable. It's probably the same person who hacked all the traffic lights in Tehran for the last five years. That same genius, now CanIShower.com or .org. Right? So if you have to run out of the shower, if you have to take a quick shower because you don't know when that siren's go... going off. All of us should feel, we talked about nosei be'ol, to feel that empathy, to think about our brothers and sisters there. When you take your next shower, enjoying the hot shower with no clock, no watch, no care for time, all the time in the world, just think about millions of people who can't take that shower, who are bathing their child as quick as possible because what if the siren goes off and their child's in the bath and how will they get the diaper and some clothing on before they run to where that shelter is? Just think about that, just think about that. It's not easy, it's not easy at all. What a resilient people our people are, mi ke'amcha yisrael. That nevertheless, yesterday, today on Shushan Purim, they're doing it with a smile and with joy and with resolve and with resilience and with romemus, a sense of triumph and victory and an absolute clarity and confidence that we're going to defeat our enemies. Persia's going to fall again this Purim and miracles, with an eye on the miracles that they're seeing. It's not easy, but it's not easy, not easy to stop ourselves and catch ourselves and take that deep breath and remember, you know what? I can't change this outcome, so I'm just going to lean into it and know that it's from Hashem, that it's from Hashem. I'll tell you my flight home from Israel. I, baruch hashem, I flew so much after October 7th that from flying all that I got status which was running out and this was my last flight with that status and I didn't get the upgrade. Okay, I'm not asking you to pull out your little violins for me. I'm not asking you to feel bad for me. I didn't get it. That was fine, Hashem said, \"Okay, you put me where I meant to be.\" But then it turns out I was sitting next to somebody who had a service dog. Only it wasn't a dog, I'm pretty sure it was a little horse. It might have been the largest dog I ever saw in my life. This was a dog. This wasn't a dog, I'm pretty sure it was a pony. It was huge. It was huge. So I sat there, had a conversation with Hashem. We played footsie all night, the dog and I. Its tail kept, you know. But I got through the night because I said two things. First of all the shiur, okay, this is the seat that Hashem assigned me. And next to me is the seat that Hashem assigned the man with his dog. And I'm meant to spend the night, baruch hashem. I'm just glad it wasn't Rabbi Moskowitz because he and dogs don't get along so well. That would have been an international incident. I'll tell you what I really told myself the whole night. This young man next to me with this service dog, and he was so nice and his dog was very sweet, and dog actually was very well-behaved considering it was an entire night, didn't bark and didn't move around that much. But I said to myself, I don't know if it's true or not, but this is a method in life, I said to myself, I bet you this young man got out of Gaza. And I don't know what he saw, what he lived through, what he went through. And this dog, he needs this dog. It's a service dog. And you could see it in this guy's face. He needed this dog. His comfort, he needed that dog. So I said I'm going to have an issue? This is what he needs. Anytime I wanted to be annoyed, every wag of that tail that I wanted to be upset. Anyway, in my mind I wrote a whole email to El Al, but now I can't send it after I ran war. So whatever. Why am I telling you this whole story? First of all, that method, tell yourself a narrative in a story that'll make it easier to get through, number one. Number two, the people that are trying to come back to where they live, they would go on any plane with three dogs sitting on their lap right now. Many of the people on our trip stayed and I'm in a WhatsApp group with them and they're still calculating Cyprus, Jordan, Egypt. We go, Larnaca, how, when will it open? If they could have the choice to sit with that little pony on their lap, around their neck, they would go on a flight with that dog wrapped around their neck right now. That dog would be their neck pillow, they'd go right now, they'd go right now. So when you're in that difficult moment, tell yourself a story, because if the story or the circumstance were different, you'd be grateful for that challenge. So if you tell yourself the story, you make up a narrative, you'll be grateful, you'll be grateful for it, you'll be grateful. That's number one. Number two, because embrace your place, that's where Hashem wants you to be. If there's an initiative to take, if you're allergic to dogs, you have a dog issue, you go to the flight attendant, you ask to switch seats, you figure it out. But if you're not going to do that, then just embrace your place, let go and be amused by it and move on because that's where we're meant to be. But to live life that way is not easy. It's hard. It's hard in a NICU and a PICU. It's hard sleeping outside the cath lab with your father over shabbos. It's hard in those moments to say, \"This is where I'm meant to be.\" This is where I'm meant to be. That's why you need to daven, writes Rav Dovid Abuhatzeira, סיעתא דשמיא להצליח בכך שפך נפשו. You know, we heard a great story, Rav Shmuel Eliyahu told us. I think it was Rav Shmuel Eliyahu. He told Bibi, and in the Kirya, Bibi told at the launch of the last Iran war. You know how you say a political party in Hebrew? Anyone know how to say it? The sia is a political party, and Shmuel Eliyahu told him the most important, the most powerful party is Siyata Dishmaya. That's the most important one. That's the most important one. To be zocher to Siyata Dishmaya, divine providence, divine supervision, divine assistance, divine support, divine love. It's always there, it's always from Hashem, but to see it, to know it, to feel it, you gotta daven for it. Add it to your tefillah. It's what we say at the opening of every davening, Hashem sefasai tiftach, Hashem open my lips, ufi yagid tehilasecha. Help me. I'm distracted, I got a lot on my mind, I'm struggling focusing, I don't feel like davening, I'm exhausted, I'm hungover, whatever you're saying. Hashem sefasai tiftach, open my lips and let me say your praise. וכך שפך נפשו בתפילתו דוד מלכנו באמרו שמח נפש עבדך כי אליך ה' נפשי אשא. דוד המלך אמר זה בתהילים פ\"ו. כפי שביאר בעל אפיקי יהודה שדוד המלך ידע שקשה העבודה להשתמש בכוחות מנוגדים פעם בזה ופעם אחר, כמו מידת התאווה שמענייני רוחניות יש להשתמש בה ולכסוף תמיד למעלה למעלה. Dovid HaMelech knew that sometimes we have attributes, distractions, temptations that are challenging us to do the wrong thing. אך ברגע שמגיעה התאווה לכוחות עולם הזה, צריך לעזור כוח שלא להשתמש בה. נמצא כי יש להשתמש בכוחות מנוגדים בכל רגע ורגע, הסתפקות לענייני עולם הזה והתאוות כיסופין לענייני רוחניות. When you feel that temptation, that drive, that desire, take it, bottle it, and redirect it. The same way I'm describing, you tell yourself a narrative, you tell yourself a story. This guy was in Gaza, he's a hero, he needs this dog. The smallest thing in the world I could do to show him support is a willingness to sit next to this to this My Little Pony on this flight. That's the smallest... You tell yourself a story, you can endure almost anything. So similarly, you get filled with a taiva, a desire, a drive. You want to look at, say, go, do the wrong thing, take that drive, that yearning, that kisufin, that craving, and channel the craving into something else. Chazal understood this. The pasuk says אוהב כסף לא ישבע כסף, the person who loves money will never be satiated, will never have enough money. What does that mean? It means that whatever it is you crave, whatever you have that drive, we can channel and redirect the drive for good. We have a drive, channel, redirect the drive for something positive, for something good, something better. Sometimes a person has a drive, an insatiable appetite for something unhealthy, self-destructive, something negative. But drive itself is healthy. So take that drive inside you and say, where can I apply it? What can I have a drive for instead? What can I have an insatiable appetite for instead of this thing, instead of this thing? This is our mission, this is our purpose, to realize we have to daven Siyata Dishmaya, Hashem, I need your help. Three times a day, every time I come to you, Hashem, I want to see, I want to feel, I want to know your presence everywhere and in everything that I do. I want to feel it. It doesn't come on its own. It's hard. We've been learning for many years now. I sent you chevre, it recently popped up on my phone, the picture, one of the original Living with Emuna shiurim. It was a handful of you sitting around my dining room table. And it's been a long time, we've been learning together, and every week it takes work. And last week I didn't give the shiur. I can only speak for myself. There was a little dip. You skip a workout, it's harder to get back on, twice as hard. You gotta work out that emuna muscle every day, every week. And if you skip a workout, the next one's even harder. It's harder to get back on. So to live with this emuna. But we need it. Keep calm and carry on. To be able to go through life with its ups and downs and whatever it's going to throw, the curveball it throws our way, then it's not a favor to Hashem. Sometimes we think emuna is a gift, it's a favor to Hashem. He's our master, he's our king, he's our God, and so I have to believe in him, I'm his loyal servant, so I have to have emuna in order to believe in him. Living with emuna is not a favor to him. Living with emuna is a way of life that is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. To find the serenity and the tranquility and the peace of mind that no matter, when is an airport going to open up, when am I going to get a flight, when am I going to get out, what's going to be, myself, my children, we never know. You could either go through that and lose your mind, or you could go through that with peace of mind. What's the difference? The emuna. It's that recognition: he's in charge, he's in control. I surrender and I submit to him, I let go and I let God, and I'm embracing wherever I am, because this is where I'm meant to be. To be. And you never know, you never know. I saw another website, there was a QR code to find out who's single in your miklat. Did you see this one too? I can't wait to hear the stories of shidduchim that come from being in a public bomb shelter and then figuring out who else is single in that public bomb shelter. Embrace your place. Once you're in the shelter, embrace your place and find out who else is single there. Find out. Hopefully it's somebody who didn't just run out of the shower. They use the website. Embrace your place. So imagine, that's the Yiddishe kop, that's the Jewish mind and the Jewish attitude. I'm in a shelter, let's find out who else is single here. I'm in a shelter, let's have a kumzits, let's farbreng, let's share devar Torah. I'm in a shelter, this is where we're meant to be. Who am I meant to meet? What conversation am I meant to have? And what's my mission in this shelter? Maybe my mission is just to not lose it. That's a big mission. To just stay calm. That's my mission. You don't have to find the cure for cancer in the bomb shelter. You don't have to make world peace in the bomb shelter. You don't have to make shidduchim in the bomb shelter. Maybe that person's mission is just to not lose their mind. That's already a very lofty, high mission. But wherever we are and whatever we're doing, whether you land on the plane and am I going to make it and will I be at the shabbaton, or whether you're in the bomb shelter, whatever's going on, say, \"This is my place. What's my mission?\" Embrace your place. What's my mission? What am I meant to do? Why am I here? Next, what do I do with this? Not panic, not frustration, not resentment, not anger, not worry. Now lean in. I'm here already. Good, now what? I'm here now. Who am I meant to meet? What conversation am I meant to have? What difference am I meant to make? It's hard. It's hard in that moment. You're losing it. So that's what we daven. Siyata d'shmaya. We ask Hashem, \"I need your help, Hashem. I need your help to be able to have the peace of mind, the calm, the serenity to see you, to feel you, to love you, to know it all comes from you, to feel your hand.\" There are miracles all around us. Miracles all around us. Big miracles. Not thirty thousand chalila casualties. There are big, big, big, big miracles that are going on. Big miracles. That those morons keep coming together in public places so we could drop bombs on their heads. Morons. Eighty-eight clerics. Hashem is hardening their hearts and He's making miracles. Rav Rimon said, he gave us license to celebrate Purim yesterday because he said that the miracles of this Purim are even bigger than the miracles of the original Purim. How could you not be biromemus? Hold your head high as a proud Jew, as a grateful Jew, as a thankful Jew and celebrate. The miracles are big. But you know, there's also small miracles. Small miracles. I said in the parsha shiur Monday, we met with Rav Gamliel, the great mekubal. His arm is in a sling. He said he fell out of bed and he broke his arm. So he said, he said he's grateful. You know why? Because now he knows. He never knew. He's seventy-six years old. He said, \"For seventy-six years old, for seventy-six years, I didn't know when I say Modeh Ani in the morning that I need to thank Hashem I didn't fall out of bed that night.\" Now I know that Modeh Ani in the morning is \"Thank You Hashem I didn't fall out of bed last night.\" So I'm grateful this happened so I could learn another thing that I'm thankful for that I didn't even realize I need to be thankful for. If you didn't fall out of bed last night, it's a miracle. Especially if you were at a Purim seuda. If you didn't fall out of bed last... Did you know that from this morning? Did you know that you have to say Modeh Ani you didn't fall out of bed? He said another point. I quoted it. He said, \"How long do you think it take to fall, to fall out of bed? Took a second. It took a moment to fall out of bed.\" He said, \"How long do you think it will take for my shoulder to heal?\" He said it's going to take six weeks in the sling and then a couple months of rehab. He said to fall it takes a second. But to climb back up it takes time and it takes hard work. It takes spiritual rehab too. There's lessons. So here he is, seventy-six years old, this great mekubal, this tzaddik, this ba'al chesed, this talmid chacham, this mechaber seforim. He's not, \"Hashem, why... here I am serving Klal Yisrael, you had to make me fall out of bed?\" No, he's saying what a beautiful lesson I learned. Modeh Ani, now I know to be grateful for every night I didn't fall out of bed. And look at the lesson I learned from it that I can share with others. It's a whole another level. Rav Gamliel, we're both living on earth, he's on another planet. He's on another planet. He's unbelievable. That with all the meetings that we had, I think we met with thirty-five people in four days. It was unbelievable. It was absolutely extraordinary. So Modeh... that's a miracle. That's my point. What's going on with this war with Iran are revealed miracles. Miracles, miracles, miracles. But the fact that you didn't fall out of bed last night, that's also a miracle. It's also a miracle. Modeh Ani. Thank you Hashem I didn't fall out of bed. Thank you Hashem. So for those miracles we thank You, and we look for You, and we see You. We should be zocha for siyata d'shmaya. We should mirtzeh Hashem by next week the emunah shiur should be in Yerushalayim habenuya. The victory over all of our enemies. As always, we'll spend a few minutes questions.
