Transcript
Okay, this Shabbos we have the privilege of reading Parshas Truma and with it an introduction to the משכן Mishkan, to the story of the Tabernacle which begins somewhat abruptly here in the beginning of פרשת תרומה Parshas Truma. And I say it begins abruptly because משפטים Mishpatim just ends with the reaffirmation of the experience נעשה ונשמע Nasa Venishma. משפטים Mishpatim ends with after the long litany of laws, the repeat of the experience of getting the Torah at הר סיני Har Sinai. נעשה ונשמע Nasa Venishma and the prophecy at the mountain. And then all of a sudden we're thrust into the מצווה mitzvah of the משכן Mishkan. There's no context which is provided. In fact, maybe we'll study later on with פרשת כי תשא Parshas Ki Sisa, it's unclear. Was the משכן Mishkan given before the חטא העגל cheta Egel, before the sin of the golden calf? Was the משכן Mishkan given as a response to the sin of the golden calf? Things seem somewhat out of order here because we have the whole discussion and we have the details of the משכן Mishkan and the utensils therein provided in תרומה תצווה Truma Tetzaveh. Then we have כי תשא Ki Sisa, which is the sin of the golden calf, and then we have ויקהל פקודי Vayakhel Pekudei, which is a almost verbatim repetition of the משכן Mishkan and the utensils. So, משכן Mishkan begins, it's kind of abrupt right here. דבר אל בני ישראל ויקחו לי תרומה Dabber el Bnei Yisrael v'yikchu li truma, go collect money and build for me a Tabernacle. Is that positioned to be just a continuation of the of the מצוות mitzvos of משפטים Mishpatim? Honest weights and measures and be kind to the poor and keep the sabbatical year and and visit three times a year Israel and the indentured slave, servant and all the rules of משפטים Mishpatim and one of the מצוות mitzvos, the next law is build a משכן Mishkan? Or is the משכן Mishkan the historical response, God's response, God's antidote to the חטא העגל chet ha'Egel? That will leave for another time, but I just am pointing out to you that תרומה Truma begins somewhat abruptly. As is our custom, we'll review the פרשה parsha generally and then begin to analyze a few פסוקים psukim. So תרומה Truma begins with the מצווה mitzvah to build the tabernacle, a resting place for God, the obligation of the ויקחו לי תרומה v'yikchu li truma, collect for me תרומה truma. Of course commentators are puzzled. Why doesn't it say יתנו לי תרומה yitnu li truma, give to me? What do you mean ויקחו לי v'yikchu li, take from me? Why take from me as opposed to the יתנו yitnu, give to me? Take from every person אשר ידבנו לבו asher yidvenu libo, everyone who has a generous heart. תקחו Tikchu take את תרומתי es trumasi the gift. וזאת התרומה V'zos ha'truma, this is the תרומה truma and so on. And it lists everything that needs to be given, everything that needs to be collected. And then we have the famous פסוק pasuk: ועשו לי מקדש ושכנתי בתוכם V'asu li Mikdash v'shachanti b'socham. God says, what's the reason for this? Why are you running a capital campaign? Because you're going to be building a home. In other words, if הר סיני Har Sinai represented, if הר סיני Har Sinai represented the marriage of the Jewish people and the Almighty, the mountain was held over their head like a חופה chuppah. הר סיני Har Sinai, וארשתיך לי לעולם v'erastich li l'olam, God betrothed us, we became wed to God, there was a marriage. There was a connection, a bond, a commitment that was created at הר סיני Har Sinai. הר סיני Har Sinai was the חופה chuppah. הר סיני Har Sinai was the wedding. Well what does the couple do after the wedding? Maybe they go to a hotel for the evening. What do they do after that the next day? They got to create and set up a home. To be able to move in together. So that's what God says. God says, after the experience, the incredible intimacy, the emotional high, the bond, the connection that we've created at הר סיני Har Sinai, we got to create a home. We're going to move in together. Notice they move in together after the marriage, not. Back then that was the traditional way of of doing it. And then we'll get to, by the way, the utensils. A home needs utensils in order to function. That's what the פרשה parsha will deal with, the utensils. So God says ועשו לי מקדש v'asu li Mikdash. Make for me a sanctuary, a home. ושכנתי בתוכם V'shachanti b'socham, and of course, all of the מפרשים meforshim pick up, Rashi among them, make for me in the plural a Tabernacle, ושכנתי v'shachanti, I will dwell בתוכם b'socham in them. מקדש Mikdash is singular, בתוכם b'socham is plural. What do you mean? Where's God going? In one home or in many homes? And of course the answer is: בלבי מקדש אבנה b'libi Mikdash evneh. The answer is, in my heart I will create a מקדש Mikdash. Every one of us is a walking בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, we welcome, we create a physical space to connect to God, but ultimately the success of connecting to God in that physical space is depending dependent on our connecting to God in our hearts. We can build the מקדש Mikdash, but ושכנתי בתוכם v'shachanti b'socham, God has to dwell in us. And of course much ink has been spilled on that concept, on that verse. That is not our subject for today. The first כלי kli that's that's described in the מקדש Mikdash. By the way, the utensils are all described. The the the building of the utensils before you get to the building of the Tabernacle itself. The dimensions of the temple before the tabernacle. So, the first utensil is the ארון Aron, is the ark. The ark is made out of gold, the outside and the inside, the acacia wood in the middle. The cover of the ark, which is what we're going to discuss today, what was housed within the ark? The לוחות luchos. The לוחות luchos. What else? The broken לוחות luchos. לוחות ושברי לוחות מונח בארון Luchos v'shifrei luchos munach b'aron. Both the whole לוחות luchos and the broken לוחות luchos. A very powerful message. We didn't discard the broken לוחות luchos. One would have thought, who wants those memories of the broken לוחות luchos? Get rid of them, chuck them, throw them, bury them, trash them. Why would you possibly hold on to them? Judaism teaches that the ארון Aron to be to be sacred, to be sanctified, to be holy, one has to hold on to and treasure the complete לוחות luchos and the broken לוחות luchos. We grow as a result not only of the successful moments of our lives, but the broken moments of our lives also contribute to who we are, our success, and where we're going. So the ארון Aron had the לוחות luchos, ושברי לוחות v'shifrei luchos. The broken broken tablets were also there. Then we have the construction of the cover of the ark, which is what we're going to study in depth. The cover of the ark had within it the כרובים Kruvim. The uh, what do they call Cherubs? Cherubs. And then you have the construction of the שולחן Shulchan, the table, and the way that it was constructed with the complete with the rings on the sides and a rod that went through them so that it could be carried. And then we have the construction of the מנורה Menorah. And the manner in which the מנורה Menorah was constructed. Very interesting, the way the מנורה Menorah was constructed, and we once did a series of classes comparing the Torah's description of the מנורה Menorah with the מנורה Menorah as it's depicted on the Arch of Titus, which is probably the most accurate depiction we would have of the actual מנורה Menorah that was transported to Rome after Titus conquered the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash. So you have the construction of the of the מנורה Menorah, and then you have the cover of the tabernacle, and then you have the walls of the tabernacle and its dimensions, how it was constructed, the קרשים krashim, the planks, they were put together. And then you have the פרוכת Paroches. And then you come back to another one of the the uh, utensils, so to say, which was the altar, the מזבח Mizbeach. עצי שיטים atzei shittim, made of acacia wood, the courtyard of the Tabernacle, its dimensions and how it was constructed. And then if you're in the Artscroll page 463, you have a little picture there of the חצר Chatzer, the משכן Mishkan, the מזבח החושן Mizbeach HaChoshesh, the copper altar, you have the hangings, you have the curtains, you have the ramp, and so on and so forth. That's this week's פרשה parsha. Okay. As an aside, even before we get into what I want to study, which is one of the utensils in particular, was there a מצווה mitzvah to build these utensils? Was there a מצווה mitzvah to build them? Should it be counted as a מצווה mitzvah? So the Rambam writes, the Rambam's for, you know, we have a tradition, the גמרא Gemara at the end of מכות Makkos has a tradition that there are how many מצוות mitzvos? 613 מצוות mitzvos. Somebody was at the Panther game two nights ago and told me there was a Jewish player, I think he shot his 613th goal, and they played הבה נגילה Hava Nagila. Something like that. So even the Florida Panthers at a hockey game, they know the number 613, right? If you ever find a suitcase and on the tag it says Goldstein, Feinberg, Berger, you know, Katz, Cohen, try 613 as the uh code, there's an excellent chance that the lock will unlock. Every Jew, 613 on their briefcase, on their suitcase. The worst kept secret among the Jewish people. So 613 is a very very popular number. תרי\"ג Taryag, 613. The גמרא Gemara at the end of מכות Makkos, we have a tradition there's 613 מצוות mitzvos. If we start with that premise there's 613 מצוות mitzvos, it becomes a struggle. If you go through the Torah and you start counting, you'll arrive at much more than 613. So what you have to do is come up and formulate a number of rules to determine what will count as a מצווה mitzvah, so that you'll arrive at that whole number of 613, at that number of 613. Many, many, many, many of our sages throughout the ages have written books in which they attempt to create rules and protocols to arrive at the number 613. The Rambam has his ספר המצוות Sefer HaMitzvos. His 613 commandments, how he arrives at them, he describes in his introduction what are his rules that guide him. The Ramban, Nachmanides, has his commentary, his criticism of the Rambam's count and basically assembles his own count. The the um סמ\"ג Smag, ספר מצוות גדולות Sefer Mitzvos Gadolos, the סמ\"ק Smak, the ספר מצוות קטנות Sefer Mitzvos Katanos, the בה\"ג Bahag, the בעל הלכות גדולות Ba'al Halachos Gedolos, the list goes on and on and on of our great rabbis who arrived at the number 613. So do you count the building of the כלים keilim in the משכן Mishkan among your מצוות mitzvos, the 613? So the Rambam says no. The Rambam does not count these מצוות mitzvos. Why not? Well, the Rambam first of all, remember, by the way, has all these rules. Is it לדורות l'doros? Are they מצוות mitzvos that will last perpetually in perpetuity, have to be repeated? Were they one time מצוות mitzvos? One of the Rambam's rules is, rules is, if it was one time, you don't do it again. This is not a one-time מצווה mitzvah. We had a first בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, we had a second בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash. Please God will have a third בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash. One of the great institutions in ירושלים Yerushalayim is מכון המקדש Machon HaMikdash. If you've ever been, you should go to מכון המקדש Machon HaMikdash, and you'll see they're constructing the כלים keilim for the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash. In fact, when I went on הר הבית Har HaBayis a few years ago with a group from the שול shul, we took a tour with one of the rabbis from מכון המקדש Machon HaMikdash. In the court in the on the platform where you're about to go down the steps towards the כותל Kosel today, there's an incredible מנורה Menorah. It's covered in glass. I don't know if you've seen it recently. It is constructed exactly according to the dimensions and uh of the material as described in our פרשה parsha. So I asked this rabbi from מכון המקדש Machon HaMikdash, I said, \"Oh, מכון המקדש Machon HaMikdash, you guys are the ones who made that replica of the מנורה Menorah, right?\" He looked at me all insulted and he said, \"Replica? Replica? It's not a replica, it's the מנורה Menorah. It's going to be used in the next בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash. We're ready to go.\" So the כלים keilim are מצוות mitzvos in perpetuity. So why doesn't the Rambam count them? Included in the in the מקדש Mikdash. So the Rambam has a rule. He says if you have a broad overarching מצווה mitzvah that's made up of sub categories or sub מצוות mitzvos, the Rambam's rule is he only carry counts the overarching מצווה mitzvah. I'll give you three two examples. One is the מצווה mitzvah of bringing a קרבן korban. The מצווה mitzvah of bringing a קרבן korban is made up of many things. For example, there are four things in particular, four עבודות avodos. You have to uh שחט schecht and gather the blood and sprinkle the blood. To be מקדיש makdish, there's all kinds of מצוות mitzvos related to um related to קרבן korban. The Rambam doesn't count them all. He just counts one מצווה mitzvah of bringing a קרבן korban, with the assumption that the sub-mitzvos are subsumed under the one מצווה mitzvah. I give you another example. The Rambam does not count 39 מלאכות melachos for שבת Shabbos, 39 separate prohibitions of creative labor. The Rambam says, you got to keep שבת Shabbos. Ah, within keeping שבת Shabbos, there are 39 biblical categories of creative labor. Okay, the Rambam subsumes them under the great under the the whole מצווה mitzvah. The Rambam doesn't count them. The Ramban, Nachmanides, in his commentary on the Rambam disagrees. And he says as follows. He says, \"You're right, Rambam. When it comes to any כלי kli, any utensil in the משכן Mishkan, that also had a מצווה mitzvah associated with it, I understand you don't count the building of the utensil, you just count the מצווה mitzvah.\" So for example, the Ramban, Nachmanides agrees, don't count a מצווה mitzvah to construct the מנורה Menorah. Why? Because there's a מצווה mitzvah to light the מנורה Menorah. So if you count the מצווה mitzvah to light the מנורה Menorah, building the מנורה Menorah is implied, and therefore you don't need to count it separately. The Ramban says, I get it. And the same can be said for the מזבח Mizbeach, where you have to bring a קרבן korban, the שולחן shulchan where you have the לחם הפנים lechem hapanim, and so on and so forth. What about says the Ramban, the ארון Aron, the ark? Is there a מצווה mitzvah associated with the ark? Says the Ramban, no. And therefore, since the ארון Aron has no מצווה mitzvah for which you can that implies its construction, he counts the Ramban disagrees with the Rambam and counts a מצווה mitzvah to build an ארון Aron, unlike the other utensils. The Rambam disagrees because he says it's not a function of whether there's a מצווה mitzvah associated with the utensil in order to imply its construction. He says if there is an overarching מצווה mitzvah, and there's an overarching מצווה mitzvah to build God's house, to build the משכן Mishkan. And if you have to build a house, you're not going to have a house without furniture. So all the furniture is implied within the commandment to build the house. And so for the Rambam doesn't count any utensil, including the מצווה mitzvah of building an ארון Aron. There's a big discussion about this. The מגילת אסתר Megillas Esther, another one of the commentaries on the Rambam ספר המצוות Sefer HaMitzvos, asks on the Ramban, why would he count the מצווה mitzvah of making an ארון Aron? True, according to the Ramban's logic, the ארון Aron has no מצווה mitzvah, and therefore you should count its construction as a מצווה mitzvah. Right? We said the מנורה Menorah, there's a מצווה mitzvah to light it. So that even the Ramban agrees you don't have to count the מצווה mitzvah to build it. But the ארון Aron, the Ramban said there's no מצווה mitzvah. Since there's no מצווה mitzvah associated with the ארון Aron, you have to count a מצווה mitzvah to build it. Ask the מגילת אסתר Megillas Esther on the Ramban, true, there's no מצווה mitzvah associated, so I understand your logic, Ramban, that there should be a מצווה mitzvah to build it. But you've got another detail, which is that you don't count as a מצווה mitzvah something that will never be repeated. And the ארון Aron was a one-time מצווה mitzvah to build one ארון Aron that was used and will be used again for the בית שלישי Bayis Shlishi. So why are you counting it? And there's a big discussion and a defense of the Ramban, not for now. I'm just bringing that to your attention. So let's get into the פסוקים psukim that I wanted to discuss today. פרק כ\"ה Perek Chaf Hey, פסוק י\"ז pasuk yud zayin. Which is I think where we left off last year. פרק כ\"ה Perek Chaf Hey, chapter 25, verse 17. It also corresponds with the beginning of the second עליה aliyah, שני sheini, and it is on the top of page 448, 449 in the Stone חומשים Chumashim. Says the Torah: ועשית כפורת זהב טהור V'asisa kapores zahav tahor, אמתים וחצי ארכה ואמה וחצי רחבה amotayim v'chetzi arka, v'amah v'chetzi rachba. Make a cover of pure gold, two and a half אמות amos in length, an אמה amah is about a foot and a half, and an אמה amah and a half in width. That's the cover. The cover is made out of pure gold. ועשית שני כרובים זהב מקשה תעשה אותם משני קצות הכפורת V'asisa shnei kruvim zahav, miksha ta'aseh osam m'shnei ktzos ha'kapores. And on this cover make two כרובים kruvin of gold, it should be hammered out of the same gold. So you don't make a gold slab which is the cover and then separately construct two angelic figurines to glue on top, but rather you take one solid piece of gold and hollow it out to make the כרובים kruvim as emerging from the one solid piece of gold. Tremendous artisanship, tremendous craftsmanship. Very difficult thing I imagine to do, but that's what they were commanded to do. ועשה כרוב אחד מקצה מזה וכרוב אחד מקצה מזה מן הכפרת תעשו את הכרובים על שני קצותיו V'asei keruv echad mikatzeh mizeh, u'keruv echad mikatzeh mizeh. Min ha'kapores ta'asu es ha'kruvim al shnei ktzosav. One כרוב kruv from this end and one כרוב kruv uh from the other end, form the cover of the ארון Aron, you make the כרובים kruvim at the two ends. והיו הכרובים פורשי כנפים למעלה סוככים בכנפיהם על הכפרת ופניהם איש אל אחיו V'hayu ha'kruvim porsei k'nafayim l'ma'ala, sochechim b'chanfeyhem al ha'kapores u'fneihem ish el achiv. אל הכפרת יהיו פני הכרובים El ha'kapores yihyu pnei ha'kruvim. And the כרובים kruvim will be with their wings spread apart, these angelic finger rings with their wings not by their side but the wings are are extended, are spread upward, covering the cover with their wings, with their faces facing towards one another, איש אל אחיו ish el achiv, the two כרובים kruvim are facing one another towards the cover shall the faces of the כרובים kruvim be. ונתת את הכפרת על הארון מלמעלה V'nasata es ha'kapores al ha'aron milma'ala. And then you take this cover and you put it on top of the ארון Aron. ואל הארון תתן את העדות אשר אתן אליך V'el ha'aron titein es ha'eidus asher etein eilecha. And then in the ארון Aron you place the עדות eidus. What's the עדות eidus? The לוחות העדות luchos ha'eidus. The uh, the the uh tablets. ונועדתי לך שם V'noad'ti lecha sham ודברתי אתך מעל הכפרת מבין שני הכרובים v'dibarti itcha mei'al ha'kapores m'bein shnei ha'kruvim. That will be our meeting place, and that's God says where I will speak to you from. You will hear my voice emanating from the covering of the ark, מבין שני הכרובים m'bein shnei ha'kruvim, my voice will come, will kind of echo from between these two figurines, אשר על ארון העדות asher al aron ha'eidus, that's on the ark, את כל אשר אצוה אותך אל בני ישראל es kol asher atzaveh oscha el Bnei Yisrael. Everything I command you and by extension בני ישראל Bnei Yisrael. Okay, those are the פסוקים psukim I want to look at today. Let's take it from the top. Let's start with Rashi. Rashi is always a good place. כפרת Kapores, י\"ז yud zayin, ועשית כפרת v'asisa kapores. Make a כפרת kapores. How would you translate כפרת kapores? Look how the artscroll translates it. Make a covering. But it's kind of a strange, I mean, why use that word for cover? כפרת Kapores. Rashi translates it, he's also obviously bothered. What's a כפרת kapores? It's a כיסוי kisui, it's a covering. כיסוי על הארון שהיה פתוח מלמעלה ומניחו עליו כמין דף Kisui al ha'aron sh'haya pasuach milmala u'minicho oleiv k'min daf. The ארון aron was made, it wasn't like a slit on top of the mailbox, it was hollow on top. In other words, it had four sides and a bottom, but it was open on top. So it needed a covering, and the covering is called the כפרת kapores. Why is the covering called the כפרת kapores? Why not call the covering a כיסוי kisui? Pot covers, you know, you'd call it a כיסוי kisui. Why you calling it a כפרת kapores? We'll have to see. The Ibn Ezra. The Ibn Ezra says as well, ועשית כפרת v'asisa kapores, make a כפרת kapores, כדמות מכסה k'dmus mechaseh. In the image looking like a covering. ואמר יפת בן עלי כמוהו לכפר עליו כמו כיסוי חטאה V'amar Yefet ben Eli kamohu l'chaper alav, k'mo kisui chata'ah. It's it's more than just covering the ark, says the Ibn Ezra, it's also covering up your sins. The ארון aron is a mechanism, it's a a medium, it's a catalyst through which achieve כפרה kapara, to to achieve atonement. So the covering that completes the ארון aron is the medium to achieve כפרה kapara, to achieve atonement. כיסוי חטאה Kisui chata'ah. Okay, so that's the Ibn Ezra. Continuing in Rashi, what do you put on top? כרובים Kruvim. What are these כרובים kruvim? Says Rashi, דמות פרצוף תינוק להם dmus partzuf tinok lahem. The face of these angelic figurines looks like whom? Not a retiree in South Florida. Not that there's anything wrong with the beautiful angelic faces of the retirees of South Florida. But the face of the כרוב kruv was פרצוף דמות דמות פרצוף תינוק partzuf dmus dmus partzuf tinok, a young child. What does a young child immediately conjure up? What's the first word you think of? Innocence. If we play a word association, I say child, you'll say innocence, purity, innocence. That's what the כרובים kruvim looked like. It was made מקשה miksha, says the Rashi, שלא תעשם בפני עצמם ותחברם בראש הכפרת לאחר עשייתם sh'lo ta'asem bifnei atzmam, u't'chabrem b'rosh ha'kapores l'achar asiyasam. Don't construct them separately and then attach them on top of the cover. כמעשה צורפים שקורין שולדי\"ר בלע\"ז K'ma'aseh tzorfrim sh'korein shouldered ritz, like the way צורפים tzorfrim. Anyone shop at צורפים Tzorfrim in Israel? The best silver? That's where צורפים tzorfrim, that's where it comes from. צורפים Tzorfrim are those who work with metal. So, unlike the metalworkers who make the the metal separately and then weld, thank you, weld it together. But rather hammer it out. אלא הטיל זהב הרבה בתחלת עשיית הכפרת Ela hatel zahav harbei b'tchilas asiyas ha'kapores. Think about the surface area of two כרובים kruvim is a large surface area. So the original piece of gold you need to use is going to be huge. Because you've got to take a huge surface area piece of gold and then hammer out hollow כרובים kruvim with extended wings leaving enough to create the remainder of the covering. So Rashi says that's going to be a huge slab of gold. Glad it wasn't at the prices it is today. והכה בפטיש ובקורנס באמצע V'hike b'patish u'v'kurnas b'emtza, hammer it with a hammer and leave it hollow in the middle. וראשיהם בולטים למעלה V'rashov bultim l'mala, and its wings, its head extends upward, וצייר הכרובים בבליטת קצותיו v'tziyer ha'kruvim b'blitas ktzof. and it looks like it's extending. The כרובים kruvim are not are not they're three-dimensional essentially. They're three-dimensional extending from the top of this slab. Continuous Rashi. מן הכפרת Min ha'kapores עצמה תעשה את הכרובים וזהו פירושו של מקשה תעשם שלא תעשם בפני עצמם atzma ta'aseh es ha'kruvim, v'zehu peirusho shel miksha ta'asem, shelo ta'asem bifnei atzmam. Again he repeats the same concept. These כרובים kruvim are constructed out of the same piece of gold. Okay, so that's the beginning of Rashi. We'll come back. Look at the uh, look at the כלי יקר Kli Yakar. ועשית כפרת V'asisa kapores. We asked why it should be called a כיסוי kisui. It's a covering. Why is the covering of the ארון aron of the ark called a כפרת kapores? Why not just call it a כיסוי kisui, a covering? So says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar of Lunshits. כיסוי מלמעלה רמז שצריך לכסות סודות התורה שלא לגלותם ברבים Kisui milmala remez sh'tzarech l'chasos sodos haTorah shelo l'galosam b'rabim. כי דברים שכיסה עתיק יומין אל תגלה אותם Ki d'varim sh'kisa atik yomin, al t'galeh osam. What did the ארון aron represent? What was housed in the ארון aron? The Torah. The לוחות luchos. The לוחות luchos. And ultimately the first Torah also. And actually also the מן man. There was a jar of מן man which was placed in perpetuity. When we when we will rediscover the ארון aron one day, we will find the jar of מן man that will not have uh, it will not have uh decayed or molded. Quinoa, tofu, I don't know exactly. Right, the jar will have a big OU, who knows what it will look like. So, in the jar, yeah, recyclable plastic jar. So, um, so the ארון aron though represents Torah. It's it's the symbol of Torah. In fact, more specifically, it's the symbol of תורה שבכתב Torah she'bichsav, the מנורה Menorah is the symbol of תורה שבעל פה Torah she'b'al peh. All of the utensils in the משכן Mishkan symbolize different components and aspects of Jewish life and and inspiration. So the ארון aron is all about Torah. And it makes sense, the ארון aron houses the לוחות luchos, the לוחות luchos are the Ten Commandments, the ten sayings, they are the the they they capture the experience of הר סיני Har Sinai, of מתן תורה Matan Torah, of having received the Torah. Says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, the idea of a covering over the ארון aron and its great significance is the idea that we should cover the secrets of Torah. That Torah is precious, and a precious commodity, and the more a commodity is precious and that you cherish it and value it, the less exposure you give it, the more you hold it dear. The most expensive jewelry you own, you don't wear on a regular basis. It sits in your safety deposit box and maybe comes out for special occasions. The more information about you, your your your um net worth and so on, the more you think that something, the more private you keep it. So, the גמרא Gemara actually has an expression, אין הברכה שרויה אלא בדבר הסמוי מן העין ein ha'bracha sheruyah ela b'davar ha'samuy min ha'ayin. Blessing only rests on things that are hidden from the eye. The more we expose something, the more it's subjected to עין הרע ayin hara, which the way Rav Schechter explained עין הרע ayin hara when he was here a few weeks ago, that עין הרע ayin hara elicits other people's jealousy, who they then call on God to examine our merits, are we are we really worthy? So the more flashy we are, and the more ostentatious we are, the more we welcome people to say to God, how come that person has all that stuff, you know, that I think I deserve? And God says, you know what? Let me let me check their file. Why do they deserve all that stuff? So when we're ostentatious, it's not that עין הרע ayin hara is some voodoo thing that somebody can wish poorly upon us and give us the heebie-jeebies and therefore God forbid we get sick or die or our stocks plummet. People don't have that power, we don't believe that. Nor do we believe that any red string can protect us from עין הרע ayin hara. Red string is דרכי האמורי darkei ha'emori, the Tosefta says, it's absolute superstition, nonsense, ridiculousness, has no basis in Judaism. Real עין הרע ayin hara is the notion that people have the capacity to elicit God's judgment against us. So we'd rather keep a low profile. God's being good to us, enjoy it, say thank you, don't remind God and force him to examine, should he be that good to us. That's what עין הרע ayin hara is about. So the more something is precious, the more precious the commodity, the greater the value it has, the more I don't want to say secretive, but the more private, the more modest, the more low-key, the more under wraps you keep it. So the same is true with our Torah. Our Torah is not meant to be accessible to all. In fact, there is actually a prohibition, someday we'll learn about this together, there is a prohibition to teach Torah to non-Jews. Torah is a precious commodity of the Jews. What does that mean? Is that true for the written Torah, only the oral Torah, how to, you know, isn't, didn't God give us the Torah to be a light unto nations and take those very values and ideals and share them with the world? So, again, it's it's not for now, it's a long topic, how do we frame that? What are the rules of the limitations of teaching Torah to the non-Jewish world, but there are limitations. Because God shared this precious gift with us and we're not supposed to share with the entire world. So the כלי יקר Kli Yakar says, the symbolism of the significance of the cover of the ארון aron is to is to symbolically remind us to cover Torah. שלא לגלותם ברבים Shelo l'galosam b'rabim. Not to teach Torah in a very um public way. וכמו שנאמר ונאמן רוח מכסה דבר וכתיב כבוד אלהים הסתר דבר U'kmo she'ne'emar v'ne'eman ruach mechasah davar. U'chsiv k'vod Elokim haster davar. ושני כרובים בדמות מלאכים שניקראו כרובים ובדמות ילדים קטנים U'shnei kruvim b'dmus malachim, sh'nikru kruvim u'v'dmus yeladim ktanim. They were angelic figurines with the face of of children. Why? להראות שאם הרב דומה למלאך ה' צבאות L'haros sh'im ha'rav domeh l'malach Hashem tz'vakos, והוא נקי מן החטא כתינוק בן שנה אז יבקשו תורה מפיהו v'hu naki min ha'chet k'tinok ben shanah, az yivakshu torah m'pihu. There's a פסוק pasuk in the נביא navi Malachi that says, כי מלאך ה' צבאות ki malach Hashem tz'vakos. The the פסוק pasuk in the in the נביא navi describes, it compares a teacher of Torah, a teacher of Torah to an angel. And the גמרא Gemara derives from here, the כלי יקר Kli Yakar is really quoting the גמרא Gemara but doesn't reference it. The גמרא Gemara says, if your rebbi is דומה למלאך domeh l'malach, if your teacher resembles a a an angel, is pure, kind, sympathetic, and so on, clean from sin, then תורה יבקשו מפיהו Torah yivakshu m'pihu, seek Torah. But if אינה דומה למלאך einah domeh l'malach, if the rabbi who's teaching Torah, you find is is is ruthless, is unkind, is insensitive, is cruel, doesn't have integrity, speaks לשון הרע lashon hara, is mean to his wife or his children, and doesn't pay his taxes, אל יבקשו תורה מפיהו al yivakshu Torah m'pihu. This is a very critical statement in in our rabbis, of our rabbis. What what it's teaching, not only of rabbis, by the way. It's true of all Jewish leaders. It's true of female teachers, מחנכות mechanchos as well. And the what's the message? A very powerful one. Torah to us is not simply content, curriculum, knowledge. If Torah were just about knowledge, anyone could teach it to us. Anyone would qualify to teach it to us. But Torah is values, it's ideals, it's a way of life. And we're not interested in learning from someone who themselves is a hypocrite. If they're duplicitous, if they're inconsistent, they can't teach it to us. In fact, that's what these this פרשה parsha, all of these utensils were composed of, many of these utensils were fashioned, layered with gold on the outside and gold on the inside. Why? Gold on the outside I understand. You want the utensil to be beautiful. This is God's house, the furniture should shine. Why on the inside? Who cares what it looks like on the inside if it's rarely never opened? The answer is, תוכו כברו Tocho k'varo. If the inside doesn't look like the outside, the outside's worthless. If the inside doesn't look like the outside, then the outside is worthless. By the way, there's a fantastic וורט vort. If that's the case, then why not make it all out of pure gold? Many of the utensils were made out of acacia wood, עצי שיטים atzei shitim, and then layered with gold on the outside and layered with gold on the inside. But once you're going to make it with gold on the outside and inside, why not make it with gold all over? So I once saw a magnificent interpretation. I forgot who. I forgot who. The answer is that metal is not pliable. Metal is rigid. And the truth is when it comes to our convictions, we should be rigid. We should be strong. But on the inside, we should be like wood, which is flexible and pliable. Human being has to have a certain amount of flexibility, has to be willing to bend, has to be willing to compromise. So these utensils, if they resemble the תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, תוכו כברו tocho k'varo, the inside should be like the outside, true, there has to be an element of metal, of inflexibility, of convictions, of resolve, of being resolute, of tenacity. But we also need to be like wood, that there's a certain level of flexibility, of being able to, being able to bend as well.How did we get into this? Oh, the כלי יקר Kli Yakar. So, if if the as the כלי יקר Kli Yakar writes, אם הרב דומה למלאך השם צבאות Im ha'rav domeh l'malach Hashem tzva'os, then תורה יבקשו מפיהו Torah yevakshu mi'pihu. If the Rebbe resembles an angel, if the Rebbe practices what they preach, and by the way, this is a huge and awesome responsibility on every teacher of תורה Torah to make sure that they are practicing what they're preaching, to make sure that they are above board, to make sure that they try to be sensitive and kind and have integrity. Because if not, don't request תורה Torah, don't be, don't be their student, don't sit at their feet. So therefore says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, these angelic figurines that adorn the ארון aron, which stands for תורה Torah, were made with the face of an innocent child to teach us that we only should seek תורה Torah, if the ארון aron resembles תורה Torah, only seek תורה Torah from someone who has the innocence of a child, the purity of a child, who is similar to an angel like the כרובים kruvim. כדי להצטייד שמימה היו כרובים פורשי כנפיים למעלה K'dei l'hatzid shemayma hayu kruvim porsei knafayim l'ma'alah. ולהצטייד הבריות היו פניהם איש אל אחיו u'l'hatzid ha'briyos hayu pneihem ish el achiv. המרמז גם על השלום הניתן לאוהבי התורה ha'meramez gam al ha'shalom ha'nitan l'ohavei ha'Torah, והיו יחד תומים בשלום ורעות v'hayu yachdav tomim b'shalom v're'us. These angelic figurines, who for the כלי יקר Kli Yakar represent the teachers of תורה Torah, they first of all looked like angels. That's lesson number one. They had the face of children, they had the purity and the sweetness and the innocence. That's what תורה Torah teachers should have as well. That's lesson number two. Lesson number three is their wings extended upward towards heaven. They had an allegiance and a loyalty and a commitment and a passion to heaven, but where did they face? Each other. But they also had a connection to man. If your rebbe's head is in the clouds, can't connect, can't relate, is not accessible, not a good rebbe. If the rebbe is too accessible, just one of the guys hanging out, not a good rebbe. The rebbe has to have wings that extend upwards to heaven, but face the people and be able to be the bridge between the two. A beautiful כלי יקר Kli Yakar. אל הכפורת יהיו פני הכרובים el ha'kaporet yiheyu pnei ha'kruvim. שכל מגמת פניהם יהא לתורה שבארון she'kol magamas pneihem yehei la'Torah she'ba'aron. לא כעושין שהם חכמים בעיניהם ודורשין לכבוד עצמם ולא לכבוד התורה lo k'osin she'hem chachamim b'eineihem v'dorshin l'kvod atzmam v'lo l'kvod ha'Torah. Their responsibility is to remember that they adorn the ארון aron. Ultimately their job, these כרובים kruvim, the rabbis, teachers of תורה Torah, is to communicate the messages of תורה Torah, not to seek their own ego, not to seek their own personal gain, not to advance their own acclaim and esteem. But the כלי יקר Kli Yakar? Is there another? רב אפרים זלמן לונטשיץ Rav Ephraim Zalman Luntshitz, lived in, not Lodz, he lived in... I'll tell you one of the best kept secrets, if you actually look in the back of the ArtScroll חומש Chumash, you have a biography of all the commentaries. Which is a very good thing to have at your fingertips. כלי יקר Kli Yakar. רב שלמה אפרים לונטשיץ Rav Shlomo Ephraim Luntshitz, 1550 to 1619. Lemberg, ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva in Lemberg and Rabbi in Prague, one of the leading Polish rabbis of the early 17th century. Maybe this comment was uh influenced by his opinion of his colleagues, experience of his colleagues. Who knows, but he was a, sure. He was a a functional rabbi. So that's the כלי יקר Kli Yakar's interpretation of what's going on here with the כרובים kruvim, a very beautiful interpretation. The בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim, רב יעקב בן אשר Rav Yaakov ben Asher, in, uh, פסוק י\"ח pasuk yud-ches. שנים כרובים ופניהם איש אל אחיו shnayim kruvim u'fneihem ish el achiv, כמו שני חברים שנושאים ונותנים בדברי תורה k'mo shnei chaverim she'nos'im v'nosnim b'divrei Torah. He says the image of the כרובים kruvim is not תורה Torah teachers with their responsibility and all of the symbolism of of wings upward and looking at each other and purity and so on. He says the image is like two friends who are spending their time talking in תורה Torah. So why is the cover of the ארון aron two כרובים kruvim facing each other? To tell us that תורה Torah is something which should be the conversation piece of the Jewish people. Another one of the incredible דברי תורה divrei Torah. You know, the תורה Torah, um, the ארון aron had had loops on the side with rods that went through in order to transport it. Many of the other utensils also had rods but when you arrived at the destination, you slid them out and removed them. The ארון aron always had them in. You never removed them. Why didn't you ever remove them? So I think it's רב הירש Rav Hirsch, רב שמשון רפאל הירש Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, I believe, has a beautiful interpretation, which is that the ארון aron is transportable. The ארון aron is its its relevant and ready to go wherever we are. It's the message of the mobility, the global significance of the ארון aron. It's relevant and significant, um, and teaches us everywhere and at all times. So that means not only in the משכן Mishkan, wherever we are. So that's the imagery says the בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim. The two כרובים kruvim that adorn the ארון aron are to symbolize that תורה Torah is not just for the משכן Mishkan. תורה Torah is not just for the בית מדרש Beis Midrash. תורה Torah is not just for שיעור shiur or the שול shul. תורה Torah is you're talking to a friend, you share a דבר תורה dvar Torah. You mention a דבר תורה dvar Torah. It's the משנה אין פרקי אבות Mishnah in Pirkei Avos. Two people who eat תורה Torah and don't share, שנים שאכלו ואין ביניהם דברי תורה shnayim she'achlu v'ein beineihem divrei Torah. Two people who who are eating and they don't have a דבר תורה dvar Torah, שלשה שאכלו shlosha she'achlu, the משנה Mishnah in פרקי אבות Pirkei Avos lists this off. What? Yeah, it's like they ate חזיר chazir, they ate... The משנה Mishnah is very strong in encouraging us. Don't think when you're having lunch, it's a purely mundane act. It should be a lunch and learn. In that lunch, in that lunch, you know, the beginning, the end, somewhere in the lunch, let me share a דבר תורה dvar Torah before we bench, before we end. That what? Yeah. Yeah. To live with it. Okay, let's continue. רש\"י Rashi mentions פסוק כ\"א pasuk kaf-aleph. The, you know what actually, let's not continue with רש\"י Rashi. Let me share with you another thing. The גמרא אין בבא בתרא Gemara in Bava Basra. The גמרא אין בבא בתרא Gemara in Bava Basra says the following. גמרא בבא בתרא דף צ\"ט Gemara Bava Basra daf tzadi-tes. Ninety nine a. Says the גמרא בבא בתרא Gemara Bava Basra the following. כיצד היו עומדים keitzad hayu omdim. How did these כרובים kruvim stand? What do they look like on top of the ארון aron? Now you'll ask, why is the גמרא Gemara asking that question? Don't we have a פסוק pasuk that just told us? So in a moment you'll see why. רבי יוחנן ורבי אלעזר Rabbi Yochanan v'Rabbi Elazar. We have a מחלוקת machlokes between two אמוראים Amoraim, רבי יוחנן ורבי אלעזר Rabbi Yochanan v'Rabbi Elazar. חד אמר פניהם איש אל אחיו וחד אמר פניהם לבית chad amar pneihem ish el achiv v'chad amar pneihem la'bayis. One said the כרובים kruvim faced one another, and the other says the כרובים kruvim faced away from one another. למאן דאמר פניהם איש אל אחיו l'man d'amar pneihem ish el achiv, the one who says they faced one another, הא כתיב ha k'siv, what do you do with the verse in דברי הימים Divrei HaYamim that says ופניהם לבית u'fneihem la'bayis, that they didn't face one another, they faced out. Answers the גמרא Gemara, לא קשיא כאן בזמן שישראל עושין רצונו של מקום כאן בזמן שאין ישראל עושין רצונו של מקום lo kashya, kan b'zman she'Yisrael osin r'tzono shel Makom, kan b'zman she'ein Yisrael osin r'tzono shel Makom. The answer, you know what, these כרובים kruvim pivoted. They were on a pivot. When God was satisfied that the Jewish people were loyal in the relationship with him, they faced one another. When God felt that we lacked loyalty, we were dismissing and disregarding God's word, they faced away from one another. The כרובים kruvim miraculously would pivot in a way that would reflect God's satisfaction with how the Jewish people are doing. That's the first opinion. Second opinion says, ולמאן דאמר פניהם לבית u'l'man d'amar pneihem la'bayis... So that's how we reconcile. So the first opinion reconciles the contradiction in the verses by saying they're both true. They're both true. Sometimes they faced one another when God was happy. And when God was unhappy with us, they faced apart. אה, למאן דאמר פניהם לבית ah, l'man d'amar pneihem la'bayis, the one who said they faced the wall, הא כתיב ha k'siv, the פסוק pasuk in our פרשה parsha, פרשת תרומה parashas Terumah, says, ופניהם איש אל אחיו u'fneihem ish el achiv. They faced one another. די מצדדי אצדודי d'mitzaddei atzudei. He answers, you know what the answer is? It's not that they faced each other or faced apart from one another. They half and half. Right? What is half and half? רש\"י Rashi says here in the גמרא Gemara, קצתם לבית וקצתם זה לזה k'tzasam la'bayis v'k'tzasam zeh la'zeh. A little bit towards one another, and a little bit away from one another. כאדם שמדבר עם חבירו והופך ראשו קצת לצד אחר k'adam she'medaber im chaveiro v'hofech rosho k'tzas l'tzad acher. Like a person who's talking to their friend but looks over there. So that the bodies faced one another, but the heads looked elsewhere, or the heads were towards one another but the bodies were elsewhere. So how did he reconcile the two verses? Half and half. Half and half. So, the, um, רב חיים מוולוז'ין Rav Chaim Volozhiner, the great student of the הגר\"א, הגאון מווילנא Gra, the Gaon mi'Vilna, explains in his נפש החיים Nefesh HaChaim, according to the second way of understanding, what does it mean they were half and half? Means the גמרא Gemara has a מחלוקת machlokes. גמרא ברכות Gemara Brachos has a debate. Should a person learn all day? Or should a person work? Learn all day or should a person work? So the רב חיים מוולוז'ין Rav Chaim Volozhiner explains that this מחלוקת machlokes was לשיטתם l'shitasam, was consistent with the debate in the גמרא ברכות Gemara Brachos what a person should do. First תנא Tanna says when they act good, they're דבוקים dvukim because he holds really בני ישראל bnei Yisrael should be able to learn, really we should be able to exclusively learn all day and let the rest of the world provide for us and support our contributing spirituality to the world. The other תנא Tanna, רבי ישמעאל Rabbi Yishmael says you have to work also. And that's the ideal, to do something midway, to work a little bit and to learn a little bit, and that that's not a compromise, but that's actually an ideal unto itself. So that's the imagery of the כרובים kruvim, half facing השם Hashem but half not facing השם Hashem. Half the time learning, but also having an occupation. So therefore he says that that's the imagery of these כרובים kruvim is this question of the כרובים kruvim facing one another or only half facing one another is consistent with the debate in ברכות Brachos, is the ideal for the Jewish people to exclusively learn תורה Torah all day and therefore the depiction of the כרובים kruvim, the Jewish people and השם Hashem only facing each other makes sense? Or is the ideal for us to work part of the day and learn part of the day, and therefore the depiction of us half facing השם Hashem and half facing us away is the one that makes sense. If that's the case, then he asks, I understand why one of the כרובים kruvim is half facing השם Hashem and half facing away. But shouldn't the other כרוב kruv only face? Because the other one represents whom? השם Hashem. השם Hashem's not working half the day. השם Hashem should face one, and the other one should be half and half because half the time it's facing השם Hashem and half the time it's working. So you know how רב חיים מוולוז'ין Rav Chaim Volozhiner answers? השם Hashem is our mirror image. To whatever degree we turn to him, he turns back to us. So if the כרוב kruv that represents us is pivoted to only be turning towards him halfway, then השם Hashem reciprocates by only turning towards us us halfway. השם Hashem reciprocates and responds to us as a mirror image of how we relate to him. The way that we relate to him. So, I'll tell you something incredible. The גמרא אין יומא Gemara in Yoma says, גמרא יומא דף מ\"ד Gemara Yoma daf mem-daled, that רב קטינא Rav Katina says, when the Jewish people would approach the משכן Mishkan, the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, when they would come for עליה לרגל aliyah l'regel, when they would come three times a year, and they would go into the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, they would pull the פרוכת paroches open, they would pull the curtain open and be able to see the ארון aron, what would they see? The כרובים kruvim were intertwined one with the other, hugging in an embrace, showing the love of the Jewish people. And at that moment, they would feel the love between a man and a woman, they would feel the love, the connection, the intimacy with השם Hashem. 2,000 years ago, when Titus destroyed the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, he conquered the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, and he came in, they breached the wall, they ransacked the היכל Heichal, they came to the Holy of Holies. When they opened the curtain, what did they find? Not Titus, it was the Babylonians. What did they find? Says ריש לקיש Reish Lakish, the גמרא יומא Gemara in Yoma, when the Babylonians entered the temple, they saw the כרובים kruvim. What would you expect, facing one another or facing apart? What? I would have expected to see them facing apart. Right? Well, if God's deciding he's worthy of destroying the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash because the people are misbehaving, then why would they be together? It must mean God is dissatisfied. If he's dissatisfied, the imagery of him being dissatisfied is the כרובים kruvim facing away. Says the גמרא יומא Gemara in Yoma, they were facing one another. Why were they facing one another? So the בני יששכר Bnei Yissaschar, רב צבי אלימלך שפירא Rav Tzvi Elimelech Shapira, the great חסידיש רבי Chasidishe Rebbe in the 19th century, he says the following. The כרובים kruvim were facing one another because what happened? The relationship of the Jewish people and השם Hashem had grown stale. We were not making the effort. למה לי רוב זבחיכם יאמר השם lama li rov zivcheichem yomar Hashem. What do I need your empty platitudes? What do I need your empty קרבנות karbanos? What do I need your cars and your roses and your chocolates, but you don't mean it when you say you love me. You don't care about my needs, you don't care about my opinions. You're not responsive in my relationship. What do I need your empty words? God says. The relationship had grown stale. And therefore, God said, you've withdrawn from me, I'm going to withdraw from you. The בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash was poised to be destroyed. The people had stopped turning towards השם Hashem, so השם Hashem says, I'm done turning towards you. I'm not going to go through the motions. I'm ready to destroy the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash. So why the embrace of the כרובים kruvim? So the בני יששכר Bnei Yissaschar says something amazing. He says both השם Hashem and the Jewish people recognized that at that moment that they had grown apart. You see, in a relationship, there's a window of opportunity to save the relationship. When both parties feel and sense and are aware, keenly aware of the distance, then they can save the relationship. So in that moment, says the בני יששכר Bnei Yissaschar, the Jewish people, right, the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash still needed to be destroyed. There needed to be a period of separation. Tragically, it has lasted way too long, 2,000 years. There needed to be separation. But right as the separation was about to happen, both parties, the Jewish people and השם Hashem, recognized how tragic it was to feel the distance. And at least the awareness of the distance could restore a sense of longing for connection, and that's that last hug, the last embrace. It was the final, precisely when השם Hashem withdraws from his children, he parts with a hug to show his hope and his desire of being able to reunite again. So the כרובים kruvim were intertwined even at that moment that our enemies were able to conquer the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, even at that moment. I'll tell you when I think of the כרובים kruvim, I think of, and I shared this once in a דרשה drasha, and I'll end with this, there's a an incredible psychologist, actually, he and his wife, John and Julie Gottman. I've quoted them often. I went to a seminar with them, it was fantastic. I don't have time right now to tell you all about them. John and Julie Gottman, buy their books. It's fantastic. If you have a healthy marriage, that's why you should buy their books. It'll become even healthier. If you have an unhealthy marriage, definitely buy their books. To a 94% accuracy, they are able to when meeting with a couple determine whether they're going to be married or divorced within the next four years. Wow. To a 94 degree percent accuracy rate. And they're really scientists, they're researchers. There's not, they're not, you know, pop psychology fly by night. How do they do that? Because their entire career, more than 30 years, they videotaped couples in interviews. Not just of failing marriages, but of healthy marriages. And by following and tracking these video interviews over long periods of time, they could identify what were the flags that showed the couples that were going to get divorced? What were the patterns? What were the characteristics, what were the behaviors? And what were the behaviors that strengthened the marriage that couples would stay together. They identified four behaviors that can almost perfectly predict divorce. They called them the four ugly heads of the horsemen. I forgot exactly the term. Four behaviors that can almost perfectly predict divorce. So that if you see a young couple, or a couple at any age, and and they are exhibiting these behaviors, there's very little chance of this marriage enduring. And then on the other side, there are seven positive behaviors that if you see these seven positive behaviors being kept, then they're generally responsible for a healthy marriage. So I'm not going to have time to go through all of them, but I'll tell you one of the surprising ones that they came up with. Their research revealed essentially that loving romantic relationships are not maintained, as we would think, by expensive vacation getaways, lavish gifts, expressions of romance, chocolates and flowers and love yous, but happy couples keep their love alive through small, everyday gestures and acts. Right? After a long day of work, a husband or a wife walks through the door, what happens? So usually one turns towards the other to greet them. Or do they not? Just do they keep going about their business and not even notice the other one's there? And when one turns towards the other to greet them, what's the response to that greeting? So Gottman's research revealed that as a listener, there's one of three ways that we could respond to another person's bid for connection. What does it mean bid for connection? It means I say to you, how was work today? Or I come in from the mall and I expect you to say to me, how was the mall? Did you buy anything? There's one of three ways that we can respond to a bid for connection. Number one is to turn against. Turn against means to respond in a crabby, irritable, or critical way. Why do you waste your time with that activity? Why do you keep spending money? Why do you keep going to the mall? To respond in a in a negative way is to turn against. Second way you could respond is what's called turn away, which is essentially to ignore the bid for connection. It's not hostile, it's just you lose points from the emotional bank account. You know, so you're busy watching TV or you're busy cooking dinner, or you're busy folding the laundry, or you're busy on the internet. And the other person walks through the door and they say, \"Hi.\" And you say, \"Hey.\" And you don't even turn your head. You just keep doing what you were doing. That's turning away. And the third and final way is what he calls turning towards, which is in a responsive, interested, and loving way. And that adds points. That's a deposit in the emotional bank account. Oh, that sounds so interesting, tell me about it. What happened in your day? Show me what you bought. How was your shopping? Whatever the case is. Here's what he discovered. Successful relationships were characterized by a 20 to one ratio of positive bids and turning toward the partner for every one negative bid or turning against or away from the partner. 20 to one ratio is what's necessary for a healthy marriage. 10 to one ratio, not necessarily a great marriage. 20 to one ratio of stopping what you're doing to look and greet, of taking an interest, of responding to the bid. He showed us these videos in this conference. It was unbelievable. You know? A guy is there, he's looking out the window, his wife walks through the door, she's talking to him about something significant. Right? By the way, turning away or against could even include that you're answering questions. The guy continues to look at his wife's talking about our kid, what do you think we should do, we're having these problems. And the guy's just still looking out the window, he's answering her, but it's clear he's not making her feel he's turning towards. So relationships are made or broken by the ratio of this idea of turning towards, turning away, or turning against. Marriages fall apart because of indifference, apathy, and growing apart. So when I think of the כרובים kruvim, it's exactly that image of the notion of turning towards and turning away. השם Hashem, our relationship with השם Hashem too, we turn towards him. God sends messages, he sends a bid. God has a bid for connection all day. How often do we turn towards his bid for connection? Do we turn away? Do we turn against? And the כרובים kruvim captured that. Did the כרובים kruvim face one another, did they turn away from one another? And that's something for us to think about. Have a great שבת Shabbos.
