Transcript
Okay, good morning. Welcome back to Living with Emunah. Once again, we are not in our usual location. I like our other location much better. I feel like down and connected to the people. I like it better, but we're still here. Still Yeshiva weeks. Not week, Yeshiva weeks. And we are here to live with Emunah together. So we let the men sneak in, sit on the side for Living with Emunah, ordinarily a woman's shiur. I want to begin as we always do with an attitude of gratitude and thank our generous sponsors. Our series sponsors, Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Chanzer, and in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut. And generously sponsored in memory of the thirty fallen soldiers and alumni of בני דוד מכינה ישיבה עלי, this week highlighting Major Eliav Abram Abitbol, who was 36 years old of Moshav Dotan. Hashem yikom damo. Deputy Company Commander in reserve battalion, fell in Southern Lebanon in October 2024 after serving 250 days. A married father of four, he was an exceptional human being. He donated a kidney to a stranger and his wife Tal served for years as surrogate parents to at-risk youth. He survived by his parents Chaya and Mordechai, his wife Tal, their four children and his four siblings. We learn in his memory and express our gratitude. Today's shiur is sponsored anonymously with gratitude to the Emunah shiur, and by Melissa and Jay Keen, Lisa and Ari Keen, and Andrew Keen in commemoration of their mother, Helen Klein's third yahrtzeit. נשמה שתהא לה עליה. By Hannah Aloof in memory of her brother Allen Wilder, Avraham Yitzchak, who loved learning. By friends of Adam and Ariana Reich in memory of Dr. Robin Goldman, ריזא בת צבי יעקב, on her tenth yahrtzeit. And in memory of פסח דוד בן אברהם, a beloved father, grandfather, role model on his sixth yahrtzeit from his Pfeffer children and grandchildren. May all their neshamot have an aliyah. Okay, we are going to begin as we always do with some fantastic emails and correspondence. Each one is a dvar Torah. We're not delaying or avoiding the Torah as we read the emails; the emails themselves are a dvar Torah and an inspiration, a reminder to not only learn Emunah but to live Emunah. Because this shiur is not called learning Emunah, this shiur is called Living with Emunah because we are taking the Emunah and we are growing, we are implementing, we are actualizing. We're not just studying theoretical abstract concepts: proof and evidence, is there a God, does he exist, what's the proof? No, we're taking the Emunah and we're implementing it. And these emails are all authored by amazing, sincere, beautiful people who took the time to share how they felt that wink, that hug from Hashem, how they were able to not just learn about Emunah but live Emunah. Rabbi Goldberg, thank you for the weekly shiur on Emunah. I only discovered them recently, but they've already had a real impact on me. I had the zchut of meeting you a while ago, so and so. This past year I spent time in Otisville. Now Otisville is not a place you go for on vacation. Otisville is a prison. It's a prison in upstate New York that is known for white-collar crime and a lot of Jewish inmates, and a lot of observant Jewish inmates. I believe there are regular minyanim and Daf Yomi and kosher food. So this author of this email says this past year they spent time in Otisville. Baruch Hashem, I'm out now and working hard to do real teshuvah and make lasting changes in my life. While I was inside, a group of inmates asked me to teach a daily class. We chose Chovos HaLevavos, a sefer I had never properly learned before, especially as a boy that learned at, and he names his yeshivas. The group could not have been more diverse: Satmar and Chabad, yeshivish, modern, secular, young and old, religious and not. What struck me most was how deeply everyone spoke about Emunah, yet often in a way that felt more like a creed than a responsibility, as if believing alone would bring redemption. What I first came to feel very strongly is that real Emunah must come together with accountability. Yiras Shamayim is not only fear of Hashem, it is also seeing Hashem in our lives moment to moment. And that awareness demands honesty, responsibility, and change. Without that, Emunah can quietly become an escape instead of a foundation. This past Shabbos while davening in shul, I was sitting next to someone I barely know. Out of nowhere, I find that since I've been very honest about my situation, people open up more about theirs. He told me he doesn't connect to shuls but that he believes deeply in God. He then shared that after losing everything financially, what saved him was learning Chovos HaLevavos. He asked me to start a class and even offered to sponsor it. I was honestly shaken. It felt like a clear reminder the message from Hashem to keep learning with others and how involved Hashem truly is in every step, especially when one tries to move forward sincerely. I want to say thank you. This shiur articulates something I've lived very personally. Emunah is not a passive comfort but the core of how we live, choose, and take responsibility, especially after failure, but also in redemption. I found it to be a very powerful email from somebody who says not, \"I have such Emunah that even while I was there, I was meant to be there and I was there for a reason, and now I'm out and now I'm redeemed.\" But he associates emuna with responsibility, with accountability, that emuna can't ever become a cop out, emuna can't ever become cover. Emuna is not a way that we shirk responsibility or that we take inaction. Emuna is supposed to inspire us and motivate us to feel Hashem's presence, but also therefore a sense of mission and a deep and profound sense of responsibility. And I think this is also in our parsha. When the Jewish people are stuck between a rock and a hard place, the sea in front of them and the Egyptians in pursuit again behind them, and they're not sure what to do and they do exactly what you'd think that Moshe would give them five stars on their chart, you'd think that Moshe would give them a huge round of applause: they start davening. After all, this slave nation who were subservient and oppressed by Paroh and Egypt, have in a short time come to learn and love Hashem, and in a time of crisis do exactly what you would think they should do, which is daven to Him. And Hashem through Moshe tells them, \"Hey, what are you doing? Close the siddur, close the Tehillim, and start walking, and start walking.\" Because emuna doesn't become an excuse or a cop out or the ability to sit on the couch and wait for a miracle from above. Close the siddur, close the Tehillim, and open the pages to look for a job. Close the siddur, close the Tehillim, and call the shadchan. Close the siddur, close the Tehillim, and take a difficult but cold hard look at your life and say, \"What do I have to take responsibility, how did I end up here, what mistakes did I make, how can I ensure I never make them again and use my story to help other people?\" The message Hashem through Moshe was telling the people was, \"Yes, I am here, and yes, the successful outcome only comes because of my involvement. Of course you have to let go and let G-d and you have to invite and welcome me in and recognize that I'm a partner in all your success, but you have to be the partner. You have to take your action, you have to do your part.\" Every year Parshas Beshalach, which includes the shira, the song, and includes the Parshas HaMan, so people read the parsha and they say, \"I'm guaranteed a good income, I'll make my livelihood as long as I read the Parshas HaMan.\" I'm all for reading Parshas HaMan, I'm all for reading Pitum HaKetores from a klaf if that's your thing, I'm all for putting a key in your challa if that's your thing. I'm all for all of these things only when they increase emuna, only when they contribute to the recognition not that some shortcut or some form of sorcery or some superstition, only when you recognize that all of it is meant to lead to the Ribbono Shel Olam, the Almighty. He's in charge, He's in control, and this reminds me that He holds the key to my livelihood, He holds the key to my success. So I put a key in the challa to remind me the man fell from heaven and so too my customers, my clients, my portfolio, my income, my net worth, it will all like man fall from shamayim, but only when I do my work, only when I make my effort, only when I take my initiative. Read the Parshas HaMan, and of course read the Parshas HaMan, and remember the man falls from heaven. And that motivates me that while I'm at work and before I go into my next meeting or try to get my next client or take out my next ad, that I say a perek of Tehillim, Ribbono Shel Olam help me, help me be successful because You're in charge, You're in control. It's not a cop out. You're not going to get better if you don't take your medicine, go to the doctor, and do your therapy, but you sit on the couch saying Hashem make a miracle. There's a complicated Ramban who thinks that if you're on a high enough level that will work, but if you're not, and I would venture to say most of us if not all of us are not, then Hashem says, \"Yeah, you gotta go to the doctor, take your medicine, I've allowed breakthrough in medicine and science and understanding to help you recover and get better. You've got to get a job and then you'll make parnassa and of course daven to me for the right job and for success at the job and for clients and customers in the job.\" But we can't allow emuna as the author of this email says, to become a cop out. It's seeing Hashem in our moments demands honesty, responsibility, and change. Without that, emuna can quietly become an escape instead of a foundation. Emuna is not \"I can't deal with it, I have such anxiety, I don't know what's going to happen, I don't want to do anything, I know, I'll just take this shot called emuna, I'll just swallow this pill called emuna and then I have license to not have to think about it.\" Then I can let go and I fall and surrender into G-d's hands and I don't have to do anything and whatever happens it'll just be on Him. That's not authentic emuna, that's counterfeit, that's fraudulent, that's fake. Real emuna is responsibility, accountability, initiative, effort, and now whatever the outcome is after all that, that's what's up to Hashem, that's what's up to Hashem. But you can't sit at home on your couch and think anyone is going to knock on your door and drop off a brown paper bag filled with cash. That's not what Parshas HaMan is going to bring. That's not our faith, that's not our G-d, that's not our religion. That's not our belief. That's not what it's all about. It's about taking that responsibility and I admire him after his experience for doing exactly that. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, Baruch Hashem my husband and I live in Eretz Yisroel. Today we went to rent a car so we could head up north for Shabbos, hoping to pick it up during my husband's bein hasdarim and leave right after Seder. As is the norm, we were running late and slightly stressed. In the taxi we davened that we not get the same rental agent from last time, the one who took a full hour to figure things out. Naturally when we arrived, he was the only person available. As he worked very slowly, my husband and I kept looking at each other saying we're exactly where we're meant to be. Baruch Hashem it actually went much faster than expected and we crossed the street in good spirits to the other office to pick up the car. That's when the moment happened. I started chatting with the man behind the desk and Baruch Hashem everything is great. He wasn't wearing a kippah but he pointed behind him to the doorway where there was a small plaque right under the mezuzah that said say I love you Hashem. I honestly froze. I had just been listening to your shiur about putting a sign like that under the mezuzah to remind ourselves of Hashem's love the moment we walk through a door and suddenly there it was in the most random place imaginable, a rental car office. I truly couldn't believe my eyes. I got so excited I told him I listen to Rabbi Goldberg's emunah shiurim and he was just talking about it. And he looked at me completely blank and said I have no idea what you're talking about. My boss put up that sign. My husband and I just burst out laughing and in that moment I felt the biggest clearest hug from Hashem saying I'm right here. I'll admit keeping my cool was harder later when my husband made a wrong turn that added 20 minutes of standstill traffic to our already long ride but even then I knew Hashem loves me and I love him too. I'm thankful for the shiurim they inspire uplift my spirits keep me going especially in moments like this when Hashem's messages feel so personal and so clear. I attached a picture of the mezuzah plaque you can see the exact moment I'm talking about and there it is because first we had our Psalm 23 sightings now we have our mezuzah plaque sightings and and we can have it because we can all put it up under our mezuzah I love you Hashem. Dear Rebbe, my name is such and such I've been listening to your emunah shiurim for the past year or so they're truly amazing. Two things to share number one early this year was one of my first weeks being in Eretz Yisroel for the year and I found myself in an unfamiliar place for Shabbos. During Friday night davening I missed saying Vayechulu with the tzibur and in the moment I was a little bogged down I didn't know if I'd have the courage to go up to someone and ask them to say it with me. At the end of davening Friday night we say Vayechulu which is a description of God as a creator of heaven and earth. Shabbos is a commemoration of creation just like God created six days rested on the seventh we imitate and we imitate and emulate him and we commemorate that by testifying to him as creator and there is a custom some have to not say it alone. Testimony is always said in pairs it takes two witnesses so two witnesses say Vayechulu together and some have the custom therefore of when you're up to it with the chazzan you say it all together as a tzibur Vayechulu Hashamayim Vehaaretz but if you were still davening the Amidah when they started and you missed it you find someone else and you say will you say Vayechulu with me. Happens to be the Chazon Ish and others don't like it they say it's not testimony you don't need two people. How do you know that? When are you saying it? At night and there is no ma'aseh beis din at night there is no testimony in halacha at night. So it doesn't really mean testimony doesn't have to be in two but there is a custom and he had that custom and he was looking for a second person but he didn't have the courage he was shy and he just started. As davening was coming to an end I realized something different. The minyan started saying Tehillim Chaf-Gimel. Little did I know this was the minhag of that shul Friday night to say Psalm 23. It put a smile on my face because in the moment all I could think of was the emunah shiur and it reminded me that everything was from Hashem. Two minutes later I was walking out of shul a stranger said could you say Vayechulu with me. Wow. Number two I don't remember which Rebbe this was quoted from one of my friends told me that it's never coincidence it's a Ka incident. Ka is the name of Hashem Yud and Heh that we pronounce Ka it's not a coincidence it's a Ka incident. Always pops into my head while listening to the shiurim so I thought I would share. Thank you for that. Hi Rabbi Goldberg every week as I've been listening to the shiurim and hearing about the Psalm 23 sightings I always get excited because it's also the perek I connect to very much not because of the words necessarily although that's something I'm working on connecting to more because my birthday is June 23rd although as I always say that's a Gregorian secular birthday. We have to follow the Jewish Hebrew calendar. That's our calendar those are our birthdays. Anyway I've always had my jersey numbers when I play sports to be 23. That's also Michael Jordan and LeBron James although we shouldn't put them in the same sentence one is the GOAT and the other is a imitation. While it's exciting to have my Gregorian birthday on that day what's even more exciting is that my Hebrew birthday is Chaf-Gimel Sivan. So here this holy Yid his English Gregorian birthday is the 23rd and his Hebrew birthday is the 23rd. So I get my double whammy and get to have both my birthdays on 23 and I'll have to thank my dad for my Hebrew birthday being when it is since my mother went into the hospital in labor my father told the doctor I need it to be born before sundown. Obviously confused the doctor asked why? My father explained it was the anniversary of his grandfather's death and he wanted me to be born that day. Another cool Another cool piece about Chaf Gimmel Sivan, if you check Megillas Esther chapter 8 pasuk 9, it is also the day Achashverosh's scribes were brought to write Mordechai's letter to all the Jews of the nation that they have the king's approval to fight back. So yes, it's always nice to have 7/23, but I'm grateful to be continuously reminded of it every day that I live. Thank you for the shiur, it's always been getting me through my day as I navigate my new life in Israel post aliyah. In a recent shiur you spoke about strengthening emuna before you actually need it, to work out the muscles so you're strong when you need it. I told you the story of the person whom Carlebach minyan saved his life when he had the heart attack, he had already been working out because of the happy clappy minyan. I'm so grateful I started listening two years ago because now I'm able to tap into the challenges that are thrown my way. I save the kind words for the end so you wouldn't skip them, שבת שלום מארץ ישראל. And then a follow-up email immediately: and I realized today is also January 23rd and I sent the email at 10:23. So 23 everywhere, 23 all around, 23 everywhere. Okay. So many, we could spend our entire shiur and it's so hard to choose which ones to read. I'm new to listening to Living with Emuna. Last week I decided to go to the JCC to run on the treadmill. While exercising, I was listening to the shiur while you were reading the dollar amount on the cash register receipt. The time counter on my treadmill hit 23 minutes exactly. Exactly as we said 23. People are finding 23 everywhere. This shiur is brought to you by the number 23. How crazy was that? I look forward to listening to your inspiring words, be able to see Yad Hashem even more clearly. And a beautiful email, 23 minutes. Also a little bit of a flex, 23 minutes on the treadmill straight, 23 minutes even, amazing, beautiful. The wife of the Bar Mitzvah teacher. Okay, beautiful. Next. Oh so many good ones. I have a whole book just in the last week. Okay, here's another one from an amazing listener. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I hope this message finds you well. First, I want to thank you for all that you do for the community and the world. I want to share an inspiring emuna story that recently took place in my life. I was pregnant with twin girls and while I had a name in mind for one of them, I was struggling to find the perfect name for the other. I truly loved a particular name, but my husband was hesitant, concerned it might not be well-received in our community. After speaking to my husband about the name, we decided to wait and think about it. Later on the same day, my husband was listening to a shiur by one of his favorite rabbanim who might be coming this Shabbos to BRS, and suddenly the rav seemingly out of nowhere mentioned the name in question. The rav laid out a beautiful explanation for the name and confirmed it was indeed a common name within our shared community. Hearing that, my husband was reassured, ultimately embraced the name. It was truly a moment of hashgacha pratis since we were initially hesitant about committing to the name and along came the shiur at the perfect time and incredible, beautiful, adorable little twins, one of which carries that name. Okay, next. I don't know, how do I do this? How do I choose? Today, 9 Shevat is my brother's yahrzeit. He was 16 when he passed away 47 years ago. His name was JJ, our last name begins with a G. Avoidance and shutting down was my go-to way of handling the loss. It took a long time before I could regularly visit his kever, a short drive from my house. Baruch Hashem I eventually achieved it. A few years ago, we moved to Florida and visiting my brother regularly was no longer an option. 14 months ago, I traveled back to care for my mother and end up staying for seven months. I visited my brother and I was there for his yahrzeit. His yahrzeit fell on a Friday. I went to the kever first thing in the morning, daven, cried, and put a rock on the headstone. I turned to leave and spontaneously, inexplicably, I turned back to the kever and cried out loud: I haven't seen you in such a long time, can't you come visit me? My father alav hashalom had come to me in a dream more than once and I was thinking and hoping my brother would do the same. An hour after leaving my brother, having completed some Shabbos errands, I found myself sitting in traffic. I looked at the car in front of me and noticed the license plate. Oh my gosh. I was completely shocked. The plate read JJG, my brother's initials, and the number was 9205. My mind began racing to see if it had significance. I added up 9-2-0-5, 16. The plate read JJG 16. Now I began again to cry, this time in gratitude. Thank you Hashem, thank you Hashem, you heard me, you answered me. My brother was able to say hello. How lucky I am. You can well imagine I chased the poor driver down until I could get a clear picture of the license plate and here is a copy for those who don't believe of a clear picture of somewhere in this pile, the license plate, JJG. So again, each of these stories are meant to tell us, you could live life, these are random and coincidence or cut-incidences and even a license plate is telling us a message. Hugs and winks from Hashem. Whether This is their daughter's message after he was called up after having served countless times. He has the zchut to defend Am Yisrael, destroy our enemies and bring home our last holy precious hostage. Please have him in your tefillos so he should be a ne'eman messenger of Hashem to be part of the most holy army and that ba'ezras Hashem he should come home healthy and quickly after a successful mission בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות. That was her emuna moment and perspective. Why her husband canceled his flight so he'd be home to help with the grandchildren, how her daughter had this incredible, incredible, not only the holy soldiers who've been fighting, but how about their wives? Heroes, we used to call heroines, in their own right, in their own right, for their sacrifice and selflessness, for their mesiras nefesh and perspective. And for the mission that was fulfilled and accomplished in its own miraculous fashion because apparently there were 20 dentists examining 250 bodies throughout a cemetery. They had gone through 249 and he was the 250th and his name is Ron, Resh Nun, which is the numerical value of 250. And that was the final and he was brought back and if you haven't yet, watch the eulogies at the funeral that took place today. You want to see the strength and the courage of the Jewish people. It's worth watching. It's worth watching and it's worth seeing. Okay, let's get back into our text. Okay, one more. One more because we're on this topic of our holy precious soldiers. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, an update in an emuna story. A while ago I wrote about my son who suffered from PTSD from the Gaza war. You may remember I read that email, how painful it was for us to watch him struggle. I want to share an update. Three weeks ago Baruch Hashem he got married. I was scared and unsure if it was the right step. I tried to have emuna and keep going even though my fear and anxiety took over. Baruch Hashem he's doing so much better. He's happier, he talks more, he shares more. Slowly, slowly we're beginning to see the old, his name, coming back. He has started talking about his future, about what he wants to do professionally, which school he wants to attend. I'm so grateful. Looking back I see that if I had trusted Hashem more, I probably would have saved myself so much worry. I'm sharing this not only to share the pain but also to share the joy. הודו להשם כי טוב. And now for my emuna story. Every week I listen to the shiur and hear all the emails you read, people sharing their emuna and their winks from Hashem, and I keep thinking: what's wrong with me? Why don't I see anything? Why isn't anyone winking at me? I used to see Hashem everywhere in the small details of daily life. I had so many stories, but over the last few years it felt like there was a block. I tried to stay aware, to keep my eyes open, but my heart felt very heavy. I missed that feeling so much. A few days ago I decided to go to the Kotel. I went to daven to connect because I felt out of touch, disconnected, and a little alone. I davened for my children, for myself, and for everything going on around us. I'm supposed to travel this week with my husband. With all the uncertainty in Israel, I've been feeling very nervous. The trip is important, but I've been uneasy about leaving. I kept telling myself, \"Embrace your place, you're exactly where you're meant to be.\" If it's not meant to happen, it won't, and if it is, then it is okay. Still, the nerves were there. This morning I said to myself I hadn't davened properly in a long time and I wanted to start saying brachos again. I also decided I wanted to take a siddur with me on the trip. So I opened the cabinet where I kept my siddurim. As I was looking through them, two siddurim suddenly fell to the floor. I bent down to pick them up and a small card with the Lubavitcher Rebbe slipped out and landed beside them. On the card were the words nesiya tova, have a good trip. I looked up and said, \"Thank you, Hashem.\" That was it, my wink. I felt instantly calm. I knew everything would be okay. I'm so grateful for that bracha, for that quiet, loving reminder that He's with me. She got her wink that she deserves. Siddur fell out, a card fell out, nervous about a trip with the Rebbe telling her—and we're reading it together on Yud Shevat—nesiya tova, have a safe trip. The messages are all around us. They're all around us. So be a warrior, not a worrier. I told you about the new pillow I got in my office on my couch. I look at it every day when I'm at my desk doing work or meeting with people. Be a warrior, not a worrier. And Hashem is sending us that hug, and he's pushing our back forward, and he has his arm around us. And if we extend that antenna, we'll pick up the messages. Sometimes they're little, they're subtle, they're nuanced, they're hard to find, and other times they're explicit. The book falls off the shelf with a card and a note, and it's explicit. But either way, we've got to be looking for it, and we'll find it. And many had to this week. Some of you might still be stuck. Very little sympathy for you because there's a lot worse places to be stuck than the free sunny state of Florida, coming to Emunah Shiur in person. But there are people that had all kinds of other plans, and they came for a few days, and because of the weather, the extreme weather in most of the country that deposited and dumped an insane amount of snow, people's flights rearranged. And you could have dealt with that and handled that. You could have become resentful and bitter and frazzled and upside down, and I gotta get back to work and my kids gotta get back to school and I gotta get back. Or you could have said, this is an adventure. I'm along for the ride, whatever it will be, and I am where I'm meant to be. And what am I meant to do while I'm here? What's next? Vacation more, go to more shiurim, volunteer, make new friends, visit people. I find myself where I am, and what's my mission in that place? Not how do I desperately try to escape. Sometimes yes, I want to get out of rehab, get out of the hospital, get out of Otisville, get out of wherever one finds themselves when they desperately don't want to be there. But after, you can't use Emunah as the excuse. They have to take initiative and make an effort and do hishtadlus. But after, to lean in and accept I am where I'm meant to be. This is why and this is where and what is the mission and what is the message while I'm here? We said in the Parsha Shiur yesterday, I won't revisit. Yesterday someone told me, why are you bringing the Emunah Shiur into the Parsha Shiur? I won't bring the Parsha Shiur into the Emunah Shiur. It's like Kilayim over here. You gotta be careful. You're not allowed to mix Basar Bechalav. You're not allowed to mix the shiurim. I didn't know we were so strict. But in any case, in yesterday's parsha, Hashem takes us out of Egypt and we start to walk towards our freedom, our march and our journey towards our future, and he takes us this circuitous route. And the Torah tells us lanchosam haderech, Hashem is leading the way. And we learned a beautiful piece by Rav Shmuel Berenbaum who talks about this is our belief. He's always leading our way. Hameichin mitzadei gaver, he is preparing our footsteps. He's leading the way. He's leading the way. Wherever we are, it's where we're meant to be. על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. He tells us time to go, time to stop, time to turn. Wherever we find ourselves, we are his partner. We use our creativity, ingenuity, initiative, and effort to try to determine our next steps. But wherever they take us, whatever those next steps are, they're always from above, they're always from him. We're on the bottom of page kuf lamed aleph, Rav David Abuchatzeira Shaarei Tefilla. נמצא איפוא שכמו בזכות בקשת הצדיקים על ידי צדיקי האמת מתעלים תפלות פשוטי בני ישראל. The last idea that we learned was that we use the righteous, we use those who have incredible Emunah, and we use them as our hotspot. If we're struggling, if we're buffering, if we have a low-speed connection, we connect, we use a hotspot, tzadikim, and then we can attach our needs, attach our tfilos, ride their coattails. כן הדבר בבקשת צרכי גשמיות כאשר מצטרפים עם תפלות על יראי שמים ושאר עניני רוחניות נענים גם בקשות הגשמיות. Turn the page, now on the top of kuf lamed bais, that when we couch and present our physical material needs in the context of spiritual holiness, we're more likely to be answered. It's, we've shared this the last few weeks, we've been learning this, but I want to reiterate and I want to reinforce this idea. All of us, we come before Hashem and we desperately daven for good health, solve and heal those aches and pains, those ailments, those injuries, or even those diagnoses that are much more severe. Hashem, help parnassa. I don't know how I'm gonna pay my bills. Life is so expensive. How? How will I get it all done? Hashem, help me in the relationships that feel broken. Make them whole again. Hashem, help me or someone I love find their shidduch, no more loneliness. Help them, help them with a child. A beautiful meeting with the leaders of ATIME yesterday and the incredible work that they do, but nebach, how many people, how many people need them? How many calls they got last year to help counsel and give strength to those people going through primary, secondary infertility? You know what that represents as a percentage of Jewish people? There's so many who feel, I need you, Hashem. But says Rav David Abuchatzeira, quoting so many tzadikim, we can turn to Hashem and we can say, Hashem, give me parnassa and a job. How many interviews, how many resumes do I have to send out? How much do I have to sit and wait and hope and think this is the one only to find out it's not? Hashem, how many... Shidduchim. How many first dates do I have to go on? How many times do I have to get all made up and think this is it, this is going to be the one only to find out it's not. על פי השם יחנו על פי השם יסעו. That I thought this was my last stop but it turns out I have to get back on the journey again. Hashem, help me in whatever area we're davening for. So Hashem looks at us and he says, I love you and you're my child and I'm inclined and I want to, but give me one good reason. You know a parent sometimes say that to a child. Can I have, can I go, can you give me? And you say sure and I love you and I want you to be happy but give me a good reason. Why should I let you skip school tomorrow? Why should I let you buy that thing, order that thing online? Why should I let you order apps, desserts and a drink? Now they don't even ask that, they just. Why should I? Why should I? So Hashem says why should I? Why should I? And herein what answer will you give? What answer will you give? When Hashem says why should I? Why should I heal your injuries and ailments? Why should I give you your spouse, your shidduch, your bashert? Why should I, why should I give you that child that you desperately want or that grandchild? Why should I bring peace into the, why should I? What's the answer? What's the answer? You could say because I really want it, because I really need it. Please, I really like it. I really want it. All my friends have it. Everybody else is doing it. It looks so fun, tastes so good, I really want it. Or you could say you know what, what do you mean why Hashem? Because I want to serve you. And I can't serve you, I can't fulfill my mission, I can't be most loyal to you if I don't have it. I need my health. How can I be your agent? How can I be your ambassador? How can I be your messenger if I don't have my health and my energy and my strength and my faculties and my function? How Hashem? Like Chana, vatispalal not el Hashem al Hashem. You know why I want a child Hashem? Because this world is so broken and this world is so corrupt and this world is so confused and I want to raise a child who will light the world on fire. Hashem let me be your partner. Give me a child so I can train them and raise them and educate them and then dedicate them to bringing great light into this world, to repairing and redeeming it. Hashem don't do it for me because I really want a child. Don't do it for me because I need someone to bring me my slippers and my newspaper, or I need a child to carry my name, because I want a child I want to attend their simcha. It's not about me. Like Chana, she wasn't vatispalal el Hashem, she was vatispalal al Hashem. She davened not for herself, she said Hashem for you, for you. Hashem give me parnassah because how can I fulfill my mission and my purpose, how can I accomplish the goals that you have for me, how can I realize the dreams there are for me if I don't have an expense account? If I'm worried about a roof over my head, if I'm worried about food in my and my family's mouth, how can I be out there changing the world? How can I be an ambassador, your agent? How can I be your messenger? So this is the secret to tefilla. The secret to tefilla is to be prepared that when we ask Hashem for all those things, genuinely and real and raw and turn to him and ask him from the bottom of our heart, from the bottom of our heart. I'll tell you something, I'm about to embarrass my family and myself. I'm not a cook, I'm not a chef. I've got one two meal, one go to meal that I make. Special occasion. It's not a kale salad as you can imagine. It is delicious steak. I got steak and I make homemade incredible steak french fries with it, fried onions. There's a whole meal I present. My kids are visiting. I wanted to make good by them. I did it. I heated up my oil. First of all my kids got me an apron. They got me a beautiful apron. Anyway I won't tell you what it says on it. That embarrassing I'm not going to tell you. But got me I put on my apron, still had my tie although I put on my apron. All my ingredients cleared out the kitchen. I can't have anyone interfering, I can't have anyone near me when I'm cooking. Cleared out the kitchen. I got my ingredients. I'll tell you another time how you do it right. I heat up my oil and I was trying to be real efficient because I make a batch of regular fries and then a batch of sweet potato french fries. And they're they're unbelievable. Are they the best french fries you ever ate in your life? Atara? Tamar? They're crunchy and delicious on the outside and soft and melt in your mouth on the inside and they're not the little shoestring tiny at the restaurant they're trying to get away with, I'm talking about a proper thick steak fry. Proper, proper. Salted just right, proper. Fresh, unbelievable. I heated up the oil and this is my kids have been hearing about this meal and they're visiting and they said we want a shot and this is my. chance to impress them, and if you don't, let's just say you'll hear about it. So I heat up the oil, and I had to be efficient because I have two batches, so I cut up a lot of the exactly the right ratio and I put them all in and they're not crisping up and they're starting to stick together and they're getting mushy. And I literally felt more panic than before the Shabbos Shuva and Shabbos HaGadol Drasha combined. I felt more panic than before I spoken at Mar-a-Lago or visited the White House combined. How am I going to present this failed french fry? How am I going to give this mushy stuck together big plate of failure flop? I'll never hear the end of it. I'll never hear the end of it. So I literally put down my utensils and I offered a tefilla to Hashem. I'm not exaggerating. I davened over those french fries. I said, Ribono Shel Olam, in the great scheme of things and the things that You're paying attention to, this is not the top of the list, this isn't the most important, and if You have to choose which of my tfillos to give a yes to, it's not this. But, but, if You find room in Your heart and if I have any worthiness in me, please help these french fries turn out okay. Because I'm never going to hear the end of it. My whole reputation in my family, this is it, please, please. And that was it. Fries crisped up. I had to do a little more intervention to them, I took some of them out, I gave them some space. Turns out they need to breathe. You know, like a Sefer Torah, Mezuzah, lehavdil, they have to be mukaf gvil. The halacha in a Sefer Torah is that every letter needs to be surrounded by klaf. If two letters are touching, it's pasul, it's treif. Because every letter is a Jew and two Jews don't compare and compete, each one is its own and unique, mukaf gvil. Lehavdil, each fry has to be mukaf gvil with oil, they can't be touching, they stick together, I learned, I learned and I'm happy to share with you another time. Only for those members of the BRS Global, by the way. Maybe for the highest levels of the global I'll even make this dinner. Maybe. You gotta give over a really high amount and I'll make you a big dinner. Why am I telling you this ridiculously embarrassing story and example? Ridiculously embarrassing example. Because I'm trying to tell you that emuna is not only about the moments of, Hashem bring world peace, and Hashem make enormous, it's in the everyday little moments of life. Let the french fries turn out okay. Let the dough rise. Let the kugel turn out, let the challah be just, let, it's the everyday life. Let the carpool go smoothly. Let the conversation go well. Let me get a good seat at the emuna shiur. Let the coffee hit the spot. Let, the little things in life are also invitations and opportunities to Hashem, Hashem. Now back to what we're learning, I said, Hashem, if the french fries turn out great, it'll be a huge Kiddush Hashem. If these french fries are a flop, it's a Chilul Hashem. I've been talking all about how amazing they are and how much you empower me and if these french fries flop, it'll be a massive Chilul Hashem in my family. You have to present everything in every tefilla. When Hashem says, why should I do that for you? Why should I give that to you? Why should I answer you in the affirmative? The answer can't be because I want it, because I'm hungry, because everyone else has it, please. The answer has to be for Hashem. It's an entirely different orientation on how we come to daven. We come to daven, we open our calendar and schedule as we spoke recently about and we look at what's on tap today and we say, Hashem I need Your help. I have this meeting, I have this effort, I have this appointment, I have this journey and I need Your help in each one. So first of all, our davening then becomes very personal, very individual. We're not just opening some siddur and reciting the same text over and over and over again. Same Shemoneh Esrei, same brachos, the same words, the same selach lanu, the same three steps. It's not repetitive and redundant, we're not just saying the same thing again. Why not? Because every day there's a new me, every day it's a new world and every day my calendar is filled with new things on it. And so every day I have something new to daven about. Because every day there are new things that I need His help and the only way I can have success is if He indeed helps me. So every day my davening is by definition different because I've inserted the personal individual things and the ways that I need Him. Hashem make a big dinner tonight, let it come out well. Hashem I got a big meeting today, let it go smoothly. Hashem I have a bit, whatever it is, I have a big interview coming up, I have a big date I'm going on, I have a big conversation I have to have, I have a big journey that I'm taking, and let the flight be on time. Every day is different and therefore every day there are different things to daven about and therefore davening never gets rote and stale, davening is always dynamic and exciting. I don't sit down with my spouse and say, why do we have to talk? We talked yesterday and we talked two days ago and we talked three days ago. Why do we have to talk every day? Why do we have to talk again? How was your day, my day was, come on, why do we have to keep talking? If you're in a healthy good marriage, this week's parsha also, you're in the minority, and if you're in a healthy... If you're in a good marriage, you don't say why do I have to talk every day, you say I can't wait to talk every day. I can't wait to tell you about my day. Because the day began with what's on tap today and the day ends with how did the day go? Nu, fill me in, tell me. That meeting you were worried about, that appointment you were concerned with, that effort, that initiative, that thing you were excited to do, nu, how did it go? How did it go? In a healthy marriage there's a bookend. It begins with what's on tap today, it's a shared experience and also a shared davening because our davening is not only for ourselves, our davening is also for the person who completes us who's our other half, we want their success in their outcome too. So every day should start with what's on tap today and every day should end with, you're allowed to talk in between, but every day should end with how did it go today? And you never say we did this routine yesterday, we did this routine last week, enough with this routine. Can't we take a break? That's a red flag. That's a bad sign. In a healthy marriage you say each and every day I want to have that conversation. There's no one I want to confide or share more with than you. That's what you should be looking for, for those dating watching listening or here, that's what you're looking for. You're looking for someone on the other side of that table, that date who you will want to every day ask them what's on tap today and share what's on tap for you and every day at the end of the day share how that day went. One of the things I tell people dating is when you get a phone call from that person that you're dating, when their number comes up on the caller ID, does your heart stop? Are you so excited to take that call? Do you can't wait to hear what they have to say and you have things to share with them? Or do you say ooh, can I press ignore again? Do I have to answer this time? How often are they going to call? Do we need to talk? That's it. Before any conversation happens, you know so much about if this is the right one just by how you feel when the caller ID comes up. The caller ID, when the call comes in and you see that number, it tells you so much already about if that person is the one for you. Do you want to say every day what's on tap and share what's on tap for you and do you want to end every day by talking about how did it go, what happened, how did you deal, how did the person react, how did it come out? The same is with the Ribbono Shel Olam. That's what the Shaarei Tefillah is telling us. Our Tefillah is Ribbono Shel Olam. Shacharis is here's what's on tap and Maariv is thank you for how it went. Or this didn't go exactly as I hoped, I really hope we can fix it tomorrow. But every day is that dynamic ongoing individual creative conversation with the Ribbono Shel Olam. It's never stale, it's never rote, it's never old and it's never on repeat. It's always something new because we're new and our life is new and the world is new and what we face today we had no idea even existed yesterday. And today we say thank you for the things that we asked for yesterday. We fail in that so often, so often. So by the way, I tried to remember that after the fries came out as a good friend of mine says, home run, I said thank you Hashem. I know that wasn't because of me. Thank you for letting the fries, simple things like the fries. Last night we had an incredible presentation, the shul was packed, Loay Alshareef, Saudi-born UAE activist for peace with Israel between Arab countries and Israel, Muslims and Jews. We had a conversation last night here for over an hour which we'll share online, it was professionally recorded. He's incredible, he's very special. He is unfortunately in the tiny minority. And if we could run him through the copy machine, if we could celebrate and elevate his voice to have more of an impact on the Muslim Arab world, we would have a future and we might have a shot. So I was concerned, were people going to come? I met him in Abu Dhabi and we invited him to come and we believe in his message and I was nervous. Part of the goal was people come to support and encourage what he stands for and the life he lives and the risks he takes. He has almost a million followers online and he takes positions that aren't simple for him to take and I was nervous, so I davened to Hashem. Please let people show up, please let them come, please let them get excited, please let it work where we're posting it. I davened Maariv after the event and I said Hashem, thank you so much, that was amazing. The mics worked out, the speakers worked out, the conversation flowed even though I didn't know exactly at the beginning what we were going to talk about. Thank you. We ask before please and afterwards when it works out or even if it doesn't exactly we say thank you. And how often do we remember to say please and how infrequently do we remember to say afterwards thank you. Yocheved and I interviewed Rebbetzin Schechter for Behind the Bema, I think it's coming out next week and she talked about as Rav Schechter a Gadol B'Yisrael and she in her own right an incredible person and their apartment in Washington Heights is regularly visited by people who desperately need. They need a psak in halacha, they need an intervention, they need tzedakah, they need a brachah, they need tefillah. And she was talking about how infrequently the people who came in crisis and desperation ever follow up and say, \"Thank you, this is how it went. I got married, I had a baby, I recovered and I healed, I...\" She said, \"My husband, Rav Schechter, is still davening for people who are altogether better. He has no idea. He's still davening for people to have a baby and they have five children,\" because how infrequently do people follow up and say, \"Just want to let you know and thank you.\" So the Ribono shel Olam feels that way too. When we need Him, when there's crisis, when we're desperate, when the fries are a big flop, oh, there's no atheists in a kitchen. There's no atheists in an apron. Then everyone's davening hard: let the kugel come out, let the challah rise, let the cake, you know... I remember the way my grandmother, alav hashalom, used to daven over that sponge cake. Also, nobody could talk to it or look at it while the sponge cake had to rise and become spongy. She had a whole... she turned it upside down on top of a soda bottle, I think it was. In my childhood, I vividly remember her sponge cake. Her sponge cake, the love, the affection... That was the precursor to sourdough. Today everybody feeds and nourishes and loves and protects, they take out insurance on the sourdough. Halevai they would love their spouse as much as they love their sourdough. My grandmother, alav hashalom, she loved that sponge cake upside down on the soda bottle. You can't look at it, don't talk to it, don't think about it, otherwise it would flop. So when we're waiting for the sourdough, when we're waiting for the sponge cake, obviously much more significantly when we're waiting for health and parnassa and children and shidduchim, then we say, \"Hashem, please, and I need You and where are You and You have to.\" Do we ever afterwards say thank you? Thank you. And even if that date isn't my husband or my wife, but thank you for meeting that person and I don't know where that will go and I learned something from this experience and I learned something about myself and it is a stop on my journey and על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. I know I was meant to go on this date and meet that person and have that conversation and learn that thing about myself or about that person. And now who can I think of for them and maybe they'll think of someone for me? Another part of my network and my life experience and thank you, even if it's not the one, thank you for it being one of the ones on my journey. Beforehand we offer our tefilla, but do we after the fact we say thank you? But the main point I'm trying to tell you is not my point at all, it's Reb David Abuchatzeira, and I thought we were going to finish the entire new page of which I think we got through the first line. But says Reb David Abuchatzeira, every tefilla we offer should not be about me because I want to, because I'd like it, because everyone else has it. We couch every tefilla: Hashem, here's what's on tap today and here's why everything I have on tap if You help me with it I'll be a better eved Hashem. If that meeting goes well, if that effort goes well, if that journey goes smoothly, then I can be a better eved Hashem. I can be a better... So I'm asking for all of it not out of ego but out of elokus. I'm asking for it all not for me but for You. This is a new chapter in my book. Did you get my book? You can download it, please God, you can order, you can pre-order the book. Pre-order, special rate, and please God, I can't believe I'm going to say this publicly, but I'm... maybe by doing so it'll actually get me to do it, but I hope to write it this summer, so maybe by this fall you'll be able to actually get my book. I don't have a title, you can submit yours. Ego versus elokus and that's one of the chapters on ego versus... Our whole life is determined by ego versus elokus, which is all part of the Embrace Your Place and we are where we're meant to be and let go, let God. Maybe Embrace Your Place will be the title, but one of the chapters is that all of prayer is either ego or elokus. Why am I davening to You, why am I asking for these things? Is it ego? I want my need, my honor, my comfort, my convenience, my pleasure. Is it me, is it ego, or no, my entire faith and my entire lifelong ongoing conversation with You, Hashem, is not about ego, it's about elokus. It's not about me but it's about we. It's about You in me and how we can improve and repair this world. It's not about me, it's about we. That's pretty good, I just thought of that. Okay, somewhere copyright that. Quickly write that down. It's not about me, it's about... So ego versus elokus. That's a chapter in the book. Every time we daven, every tefilla we offer from a siddur, from a Tehillim, in shul, or as significantly in many ways more authentically from our heart, in the kitchen, in the carpool, and in the boardroom, and in the operating room, when we offer that tefilla to Hashem, help me with that thing not for me but for we. I want to be Your loyal servant, I want to be Your ambassador and agent, I want to be Your messenger. I want to pursue and fulfill my mission, but I can't if I don't have the things that I'm asking and davening for. It's a radical shift in the whole orientation of not only how we daven but how we live and it's so filled with meaning and it's so filled with purpose and it's so filled with selflessness instead of selfishness. And the whole focus on the ego and the I and the self leads to such unhappiness and such anxiety because when I'm in charge and I'm in control and I'm responsible for the outcome I can't even get out of bed. But when I have a partner it's not me but we, when we're in it together and I know you're by my side and I know you're helping me and I know however it comes out is the way it's meant to be, now let's go! We've got this, we're going to do this! That was the beginning of last week's parsha. Hashem didn't say Lech El Paro, go to Paro, what did Hashem say? Bo El Paro. And the image is amazing. Hashem puts his arm around Moshe and puts his arm around every one of us and he says, Nu, Bo, let's go. I've got a mission for you today. I'm not sending you on it, I'm coming with you on it. Bo El Paro he puts his arm around us and he says, let's go. This is our mission. And I want to be very clear, some people's mission is curing cancer and some people's mission is bringing peace to the Middle East and some people's mission is getting to the end of the day. That's their mission. Struggling with whatever physical, mental, emotional challenge and their mission is get to the end of today. Get to the end of today with sanity, with good health, with faith, get to the end today. Some person's mission is get these kids in bed safely tonight after a little time on SD's playground, after breakfast, lunch and dinner being fed, after a naptime, get them healthy, get them whole, get them to bed, that's your mission, the stage and this mode of your... Our mission every day when I talk about embrace your place and our mission and our moment in life, it's not all monumental. It's not all on this side of the camera. It's not all making world peace. Our missions are micro missions. And our mission are not measured by how public they are, how much influence and whether we're an influencer, how many eyeballs and followers. Our mission are broken down into micro missions. A mission right now is make a Shehakol in this cup of coffee. And the mission right now is don't spill it on myself. And my mission right now is to not drink the coffee out of ego but out of Elokus, Shehakol niyeh bidvaro. Hashem it's all from you. I'll close with one more email about that because it just reminded me. Dear Rabbi, I'm a bit behind but listening to old classes on Emuna, I'm up to 128. That's a bit behind but it's changed my life for the better. I just want to share a story with you that gave me my first step in starting my own spot Him journal. I call it Kel Mistater. So this author has a journal called Kel Mistater, hidden God and it's his spot Him journal, looking for God every day. I was doing my morning routine after davening Netz, I need to pack lunch for the boys, eat breakfast, pack my food before heading to work. My son was having difficulty getting the word out of what he wants for a sandwich. I wanted to make what he wants, but I need to know what it is. I was getting impatient and annoyed. I saw a small bit of cake topping and I thought, yum. I made a bracha and it hit me. Shehakol niyeh bidvaro. Everything is from him, even this annoying situation. In that moment everything calmed down. I felt like all 126 Emuna shiurim led to that moment. It was the kaballa that I made to make brachos slowly, being mindful of the meaning and including the ambiance, pleasant or otherwise. Shehakol, because he made a bracha in that moment and he realized Shehakol, not only those who are cooperating comes from Hashem, even the one who's not cooperating. Shehakol, it's all from Hashem. It's all meant for us. It's all from above. It's all carefully curated, choreographed for us. It's all from... Shehakol, you could find Hashem in monumental moments, the last hostage coming home, number 250 in that cemetery, Ran Resh Nun, and you see Hashem, and you see Hashem in the frosting of the cake. Daven Netz, pack for the boys, eat breakfast, I thought he said he had a workout in there so I was going to wonder did he eat the frosting after the workout. But you see even in the frosting of the cake, even in the frosting of the cake, Shehakol niyeh bidvaro, Hashem is in the frosting on the cake that you snuck while trying to pack breakfast with the annoying kid that helps you realize Shehakol, it's all, the ambiance, the environment, the people, the things, the weather and everything in it. Nebech daven for us in South Florida, it's going to feel like the thirties in the next couple days, the thirties. We didn't move to Florida for the thirties, raining iguanas. I'm just joking, daven for us, but it's going to be cold. And Hashem is in the cold, Hashem is in the heat in August, and he's in the cold in February, and he's in whatever the weather is wherever you are and however much snow you have to plow or find someone else to pay to plow. Hashem is in it all, Shehakol. The ambiance, the environment, the weather, the people, those who are pleasant and those who are frustrating and annoying, Shehakol. He's in it all if you look for him and you find him, and then it keeps you calm and serene and then you say, what's my mission in this moment? What's my mission in this moment? Am I acting out of ego, am I acting out of Elokus? And when I turn to you and I ask Hashem, what's on tap today, and at the end of the day, thank you Hashem, it's all not about my ego, it's all about my Elokus. I want to be your best servant. I want to serve you, I want to fulfill my mission, I want to repair and redeem your world, I want to get out of myself. Because another chapter in the book, another chapter in the book is why that leads to a better life. Maybe the egomaniac has a much better life. The egomaniac has everything they want. Egomaniac is living a life all about them. So maybe the ego narcissist has it all. Go check out how that's worked out for them. How's the marriage of the ego narcissist? How's the relationship with children of the egomaniac narcissist? How's the egomaniac narcissist doing in business? What's his relationship with his colleagues, with his clients? How's the egomaniac narcissist doing in? How's that all working out in life? How is their health and their happiness? Most importantly, how are they doing? Versus the person who can get out of themselves and care and give to others. Look at the quality and look at the meaning and look at the purpose of that life. So life is divided into those two simple categories, and it's that easy and it's that simple. And where, in which column will your name appear? Ego or Elokus? Is it about us or is it about being on a mission from Hashem? Am I a taker, am I a giver? Is my life about my rights and entitlements or my duties, responsibilities, and obligations? Do I live every moment for what's in it for me or do I live every moment for what is my mission? And the answer to happiness and holiness is found in where I put my name, in which column, which tells me my whole orientation of life, but also tells me how to frame my Tefilla, my prayer, and how I ask everything from Hashem. We turn off the stream, we have time for one question because I went overtime today, I got a little too excited talking about my french fries. But we have time for one question, so to those who are turning it off, stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy and visit us in Florida and you can participate in questions and answers in person.
