Transcript
Okay, good morning, בוקר טוב Boker tov, welcome back to Parsha Perspectives for today. We have the privilege this week of studying פרשת וישב Parshas Vayeishev. And we know that מעשה אבות סימן לבנים maaseh avos siman l'banim. All of ספר בראשית Sefer Bereishis is not just studying ancient history, we're not just learning and reviewing what happened long ago, but we're actually reading what is meant to be our filter to be able to interpret what's happening today. They are parsha perspectives for today. And as much as the world has changed, so much has stayed the same, particularly in our parsha, we see the animosity, the enmity, we see the tension, the strife among brothers that we tragically continue to still suffer from. There is so much to learn from this parsha. I want to thank our generous sponsors of this series for the year, Becky and Avi Katz and family, in memory of David Grossman, Becky's father. Our learning should be לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מעניש le'iluy nishmas Dovid ben Menachem Manish. Also this morning is sponsored by Karina Ben-Smi and Cohen, Torah learning in memory of her father David Ben-Smi, who passed away the 19th of Kislev 20 years ago, and by Ben and Dina Isaacs and Howard Stricker in loving memory of Howard's parents, Evelyn Dr. Eugene Stricker, חוה בת משה Chava bas Moshe and ישראל בן ברוך Yisrael ben Boruch. Thank you to all of our generous sponsors, our dear friends, we thank you for your support and your partnership. Page 198 in the Artscroll Stone Chumash, I hope you all have a חומש Chumash. So great to see everybody live together back in person. I'm so glad that you are here. Thank you. It means so much to me. וישב יעקב בארץ מגורי אביו בארץ כנען Vayeishev Yaakov be'eretz megurei aviv be'eretz Kenaan. Yaakov settled. This is in contrast, by the way, to last week's parsha, where the parsha begins with Yaakov sending a message to his brother Eisav through מלאכים malachim, through agents, he tells them, עם לבן גרתי im Lavan garti. He doesn't say עם לבן ישבתי im Lavan yashavti, he says עם לבן גרתי im Lavan garti. A גר ger is a stranger. I was passing through. I was an outsider. It's true for 20 years I was with Lavan. 20 years is a long time ago. Think about where you were 20 years ago. 20 years is a very long time. So yes, Yaakov says, I was with Lavan 20 years, it's a long time. But do you know the entire time I was there, I was an outsider. I participated, I contributed, I benefited, I immersed myself in what was the best of being there, but I was able to be mindful at the same time that I was an outsider, I was a גר ger. Here, וישב יעקב Vayeishev Yaakov. It doesn't say גרתי garti, it says וישב Vayeishev, which is a resident. I took up residency. It's part of my identity. I was fully there, בארץ מגורי אביו בארץ כנען be'eretz megurei aviv be'eretz Kenaan, back home, back in the land of a father, back where he belonged. And we know Rashi tells us that ביקש יעקב לישב בשלוה bikesh Yaakov leishev be'shalva. Yaakov just wanted some peace and quiet. He just wanted some peace and quiet. Who doesn't want peace and quiet? Who doesn't want tranquility and serenity? Who doesn't want to just sit by the pool under the palm tree, sipping the piña colada, learning some parsha, some חומש Chumash, some Torah, and relaxing? But the Ribono shel Olam, the Almighty said that's not for this world. That's not for this world. Rav Yeruchem Rav Wolbe quoted his Rebbe, Rav Yeruchem, as saying, you'll never find a rocking chair on a factory floor, unless they're producing rocking chairs, I guess. But you won't find a rocking chair on a factory floor. Why? Because it's very clear that the factory floor is a place to work. That's why you're there. You're not there to sip a piña colada. You're not there to kick back and sit back and relax. The reason you're on the factory floor is to work. So there is no recliner. There's no leather recliner on the factory floor. That's up in the executive's office overlooking the factory floor. But on the factory floor, you're there to work. So Hashem says, look around this world. You're there for the blink of an eye. We're barely here if we're lucky, 80, 90, 100 years, 120 years. In the span of eternity, that's nothing. It's nothing. It's a blip on the screen. So why are we here? We're here to work. חברה Chevra, this is the factory floor. We're meant to make a difference. It doesn't matter what stage of life. It doesn't matter whether professionally you are retired or still working. But in life, we're all, we have work to do. The candle's still burning, the light is still on, the factory's still pumping. And therefore, Yaakov wanted to ביקש לישב בשלוה bikesh leishev be'shalva. He thought, what, Yaakov was lazy? Yaakov was lazy? חלילה Chalila. Yaakov הבחיר באבות ha'bechir ba'avos. Yaakov is the quintessential of our patriarchs. He wasn't lazy. He wasn't looking for a way out, to cop out. Yaakov thought, how do I serve Hashem? If I just have some calm, some stability, if I can just have some peace, some quiet, then I can really serve Hashem. Hashem said, that's not how you serve me. You serve me when you're agitated. The pearl, the oyster produces the pearl through agitation. You serve me when you are challenged. We serve when we're tested, we serve when we are pushed. We serve when we recognize that we have work to do. We have effort to make. Life doesn't come simple. And it's the result of that effort where we have growth, where we're able to break through. אלה תולדות יעקב יוסף בן שבע עשרה שנה היה רועה את אחיו בצאן Eileh toldos Yaakov, Yosef ben shva esrei shana, haya roeh es echav batzon. Yosef is 17 years old. He's a shepherd. All of our great patriarchs were shepherd, our great leaders first needed to do an internship as a shepherd. We've spoken about and studied about this in the past, the notion of התבודדות hisbodedus, being comfortable in our own skin, being okay with alone time. The shepherd didn't have a phone. The shepherd couldn't text or watch or listen to podcasts. The shepherd wasn't FaceTiming. The shepherd was alone, but he wasn't alone. The shepherd was with Hashem. The shepherd was with nature. The shepherd was with himself, learning about himself. And being a shepherd is a prerequisite to being a spiritual shepherd of a holy flock of people. We don't do that today. And why you get סמיכה smicha, it should be a requirement. You have to go out and be a shepherd. I don't know if like a day, maybe. I don't know if we could last much longer than that. Get the cool staff and wear the. I don't know, how long you're a shepherd? A day, a week, a month? Imagine you tell your parents, imagine your grandchildren came home. I decided what I want to do. Accounting? No. Law? No. Pre-med? No. I want to be a shepherd. I want to follow in the footsteps Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov. I want to be like Moshe, I want to be like Yosef. I want to be a shepherd. But you see that the Zayin-Ram, the Zohar calls the great leaders, the seven guests that we welcome to our סוכה sukkah, the Zohar calls them the seven holy shepherds. They're not the seven computer programmers, the seven doctors and lawyers. They're the seven shepherds. To be a shepherd, to be a shepherd is a prerequisite to be able to shepherd Hashem's children, our flock. So Yosef is a holy shepherd. He's a holy shepherd. והוא נער את בני בלהה ואת בני זלפה V'hu na'ar es bnei Bilhah v'es bnei Zilpah. ויבא יוסף את דבתם רעה אל אביהם Vayavei Yosef es dibasam ra'ah el avihem. We're not going to review the beginning of the parsha in this sense. You could listen last year, the year before, where we focused a lot on the tension between Yosef and his brothers. We focused on what created that tension. Where is the breakdown when there's not even communication, conversation, and we focus on our differences rather than our similarities? How does that come to be that animosity, the envy that leads to the fracture and the divisiveness that we continue to suffer from until this very day? The hatred, the criticism, the judgment that we continue to suffer from until this very day. The problem was already depicted in our parsha, and the solution is already in the Torah. We just haven't learned the lesson for 2,000 years. We just refuse to learn the lesson. We'd rather be at each other's throats, we'd rather fight and judge than find solutions. So Yosef has these dreams. We're moving right along. Yosef has these dreams. ויקנאו בו אחיו Vayikane'u bo echav, and he tells his brother's dreams. Why is he telling his brother's dreams? Is Yosef guilty for precipitating this? What does Yosef think exactly is going to happen here? He has these dreams, that he's got these big brothers and in his dreams, in both of the versions of the dreams, these big brothers bow down to him, they defer to him, they concede before him. So he says, hey guys, listen to this dream I had. It's so interesting. I had such an interesting dream. What exactly did he think they were going to say? Oh, that's fantastic. Why don't we just do it right now? We'll bow down to you right now, little brother. Why should it just be a dream? Let's bring it into reality. Let's bow. What did he think was going to happen? So I saw a commentary that says, you know what he thought was going to happen? What he thought was going to happen was he's the youngest of the brothers, till Binyamin. So he was saying to them is, in the dream, God gave me this divine inspiration. I had this vision where even though I am the youngest, the least developed, the least mature, the least accomplished, look who I could become. And if that's true for me, the youngest, all the more so for you. Yaakov said, even with that good intention, probably shouldn't share those dreams. Even though you think that's the message inside, that's your vision of the message, your version, probably still not a good idea to share those dreams. But nevertheless, even though the dreams were not meant to be shared, ויקנאו בו אחיו vayikane'u bo echav, Yosef actually, Yosef triggered this jealousy, this envy among his brothers, somewhat understandably the brother's reaction. But you know who was not triggered? You know who actually saw some prophecy in those dreams, held on to them, believed they were going to come true, thought they were foreboding? ואביו שמר את הדבר Ve'aviv shamar es ha'davar. On the bottom of page 200, פרק ל\"ז, פסוק י\"א Perek Lamed Zayin, Pasuk Yud Aleph. ויקנאו בו אחיו Vayikane'u bo echav, the brothers became jealous, ואביו שמר את הדבר v'aviv shamar es ha'davar, but Yaakov held on. אביו שמר את הדבר Aviv shamar es ha'davar, Yaakov held on. So Rashi, what does it mean שמר shamar? The word שמר shamar means to safeguard, to vigilantly safeguard and protect, to שמר shamar. So what does it mean his father שמר את הדבר shamar es ha'davar? I use these words שמר את הדבר shamar es ha'davar later, but they're here now with the dreams. שמר את הדבר shamar es ha'davar. Rashi says היה ממתין ומצפה מתי יבוא haya mamtin u'metzapeh masai yavo. Yaakov, Yosef, Yaakov sat and waited and wondered, when will they come true? Yosef had these dreams and Yaakov didn't dismiss them. Yaakov didn't just criticize and reject them and say, \"Shush till, don't tell anyone, don't post it, don't blog about it, don't vlog about it, don't anything about it, keep those dreams to yourself.\" ואביו שמר את הדבר Ve'aviv shamar es ha'davar. Yaakov said, whoa, there's something here. And I can't wait to see what's going to be. God was giving Yosef, and through Yosef, me and us, a glimpse and an insight, a vision of what's going to be. ואביו שמר את הדבר, היה ממתין ומצפה v'aviv shamar es ha'davar, haya mamtin u'metzapeh. He held on and he waited, he longed to see what would be, to see what would be. Famously, I say it all the time, the Ohev Yisrael, the Apter Rav says that's what it means to be a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos. It's not to observe Shabbos on Shabbos. To be a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos, שמר את הדבר shamar es ha'davar, is to long for it, to wait, to anticipate, to get ready for it, to prepare. To be a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos is Sunday through Friday. That's שומר שבת shomer Shabbos, שמר את הדבר shamar es ha'davar, to prepare, to wait, to long, to get ready, to get excited. Wait till you hear tomorrow, what's today, Tuesday? Tomorrow night's interview with Rav Machlis. Rav Machlis, שליט\"א shlita, the husband of the late Rebbetzin Machlis, זכרונה לברכה zichrona l'vracha. They host 200 people a Shabbos at their home, their apartment, their tiny little apartment in Yerushalayim, in the home, overflowing out of the home, throughout the courtyard, 200 people. So on Behind the Bima, we'll talk to him. How do you prepare? How do you shop? How do you get ready? 200 portions of chicken soup, 200 pieces of kugel, 200 plates and forks and knives. How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you run a meal with 200 people at the meal? When in the week do you need to start getting ready? How do you look forward and anticipate Shabbos? It's unbelievable. So שמר את הדבר shamar es ha'davar, a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos. So Rav Dessler has a comment. Yaakov was holding on. Listen to this from Rav Dessler. It's in מכתב מאליהו חלק ד' Michtav M'Eliyahu Chelek Dalet. He says the following, דרכם של צדיקים לשמור כל קורותם שהם רואים בחייהם בזכרונם, ואפילו כשעבר זמן רב Dar'kam shel tzadikim lishmor kol korosam shehem ro'im b'chayeihem b'zichronam, v'afilu k'she'avar zman rav. The way of the righteous is not to experience something in life, something meaningful, something that should give you pause, something that should make you reflect, something that you should record and write down and hold on to. The righteous don't just live it in a fleeting, temporal fashion, drop it and move on. The righteous grab it and hold on. They grab it and hold on. The Midrash Rabbah here writes, נטל קולמוס וכתב באיזה יום, באיזה שעה, באיזה מקום natal kulmus v'kasav b'eizeh yom, b'eizeh sha'ah, b'eizeh makom. You know, when Yosef came and reported that dream, you know what Yaakov did? He took out his pen and he took out his pad. Today, he took out his phone, he took out his iPad, took out his laptop, he took out his keyboard. You know what Yaakov did when Yosef said something to him that he thought had divine significance, that he thought was significant and meaningful? He recorded it for posterity. He didn't let it be fleeting, he didn't let it pass him by. ורוח הקודש אומרת שמור את הדברים שהעתידים הדברים ליגע V'ruach hakodesh omeres shmor es hadvarim she'asidim hadvarim liga. The Midrash ends, the Midrash concludes that רוח הקודש Ruach Hakodesh, with divine inspiration he realized, don't let this go. Don't move on. Don't simply drop it. לקח לו למעלה מעשרים ושתים שנה עד שיעקב הבין את הרמז Lakach lo l'ma'alah me'esrim u'shtayim shana ad she'Yaakov hevin es ha'remez. It took more than 22 years. Yosef sold, Yaakov is alone, he's waiting, he's longing, he's wondering, he refused to be consoled, he's inconsolable. And it took 22 years to understand what these dreams meant. But you know what happened when he did? He took out his little פנקס pinkas, he took out his little notebook. He opens his little Word document, his file. And he said, I knew that day, it was on Tuesday, it was on י\"ט כסלו yud tes Kislev, י\"ט כסלו yud tes Kislev. חג הגאולה י\"ט כסלו Chag HaGeulah Yud Tes Kislev. Don't forget to come to the Bima tomorrow night. And it was Tuesday, י\"ט כסלו yud tes Kislev, and it was at 9:44 that Yosef told me this dream and this is nothing to forget. I want to hold on to this. ואביו שמר את הדבר ve'aviv shamar es ha'davar. Yaakov said, whoa, there's something here. And I can't wait to see what's going to be. God was giving Yosef and through Yosef me and us a glimpse and an insight, a vision of what's going to be. ואביו שמר את הדבר, היה ממתין ומצפה v'aviv shamar es ha'davar, haya mamtin u'metzapeh. He held on and he waited, he longed to see what would be, to see what would be. The Midrash says the opposite is true of רשעים reshaim. You know, if you're wicked, if you're evil, if you feel the world is filled with randomness and chance, then there's nothing worth holding on to. You live life in super speed, and you just let go and you move on, and you never pause, and you never experience, and you never record for posterity, and you never review, and you never try to understand the meaningful things that are going on in life. לפיכך סמך הקדוש ברוך הוא ענין זה מרגלים זה ואצל של מרים, שדיברה לשון הרע על אחיה הקדוש, כדי שידעו הכל עונש של לשון הרע, שמביא כשמדברים על לשון הרע, יסתכל מה נעשה במרים. ואף על פי כן לא רצו ללמוד, וכך נאמר לא ידעו ולא יבינו L'fichach samach Hakadosh Baruch Hu inyan zeh meraglim zeh v'etzel shel Miriam, she'dibra lashon hara al achi'ha hakadosh, kedei she'yeidu hakol onesh shel lashon hara, she'mevi k'she'medabrim al lashon hara, yistakel mah na'aseh b'Miriam. V'af al pi kein lo ratzu lilmod, v'kach ne'emar lo ya'du v'lo yavinu. The הקדוש ברוך הוא Kadosh Baruch Hu places the story of the מרגלים meraglim adjacent to the story of Miriam. We're supposed to learn, but we didn't learn. Life's experiences are supposed to teach. The greatest classroom is life itself. And the curriculum is coming from the Almighty every day and all around us. And when we stop and we pause and we reflect and we learn and we write and we record and we review, we become students of life. And when you're simply just moving on, then you don't experience life at all. Some people are constantly racing to the next thing, they're moving on to the next experience. We're not experiencing life, and we're not recording it. And I thought that was such an interesting insight of Rav Dessler, that ואביו שמר את הדבר ve'aviv shamar es ha'davar. Yaakov had a notebook for each child. We have a good friend who lives in the community. Can I know Hara, six beautiful children, each one has their own notebook since they were a little baby. And when they'd say something cute or adorable, he'd write it down in their notebook. At each of their בר מצוות or בת מצוות bar mitzvahs or bas mitzvahs, the father in his speech would take out their notebook and read a few cute things from when they were three, when they were six, when they were nine, when they're twelve. I don't know if he's still doing it, they're married, please God, gonna have children. I don't know if he's still recording him. But but if you care, how many of us have, I remember they once said something cute. I don't remember who, where, when, which child, what they said, but once they were cute. We lost out on the opportunity. Remember once I was in a place and I had an insight and a breakthrough and I saw something and it changed me, but I don't remember where or when or what it was or how I was changed. But imagine if we took out a notebook, a journal, and we journal our life. That's, that's this week's parsha, says Rav Dessler. ואביו שמר את הדבר V'aviv shamar es ha'davar. שמר את הדבר Shamar es ha'davar. Do we care enough to record, to journal, what happens in life to be able to continue to learn from it? פרק ל\"ז, פסוק י\"א Perek Lamed Zayin, Pasuk Yud Aleph, chapter 37, verse 11. The same pasuk, ויקנאו בו אחיו, ואביו שמר את הדבר Vayikanu bo echav, v'aviv shamar es hadavar. Sorry, we just read that. Moving on. מה תבקש? פרק ל\"ז, פסוק ט\"ו Mah sevakesh? Perek Lamed Zayin, Pasuk Tet Vav. So what happens? וילכו אחיו לרעות את צאן אביהם בשכם Vayelchu echav liros es tzon avihem bi'Shchem. The brothers go out in order to check on the sheep. They go check on the sheep. Are they really checking on the sheep? Look at the word את es on top of page 202, פרק ל\"ז, verse 12 Perek Lamed Zayin, verse 12. וילכו אחיו Vayelchu echav, the brothers go, לרעות את צאן liros es tzon. They go to see what? את Es. What's over the word את es? Two dots. You know why the word, there are two dots over the word את es? Were they really going to check on the sheep? Who were they going to check on? The shepherd. They, they posed as if they were going to check on the sheep, לרעות את צאן אביהם liros es tzon avihem, but they weren't going to check on the sheep. They were going to find the shepherd. ויאמר ישראל אל יוסף הלא אחיך רועים בשכם Vayomer Yisrael el Yosef, halo achecha ro'im bi'Shchem. And now Yaakov tells Yosef, your brothers, they went to go look for you. Your brothers are out there. לכה ואשלחך אליהם Lecha v'eshlochecha aleihem. ויאמר לו הנני Vayomer lo, hineni. He says, go. Come, I'll send you to them. So Yosef says, here I am. ויאמר לו לך נא ראה את שלום אחיך Vayomer lo, lech na re'eh es shlom achecha. Go check on your brothers, את שלום הצאן es shlom ha'tzon. והשיבני דבר Va'hashiveini davar. Bring back what's going on. וישלחהו מעמק חברון ויבוא שכמה Vayishlacheihu me'eimek Chevron vayavo Shchema. And we say every year there's the theory of Rav Yoel Bin Nun and others have that the reason Yosef doesn't ultimately get in touch with his father, even after he's sold into slavery, and after he rises to a position that he could easily get in touch, because Yosef assumes based on this פסוק pasuk, that just like Avraham kicked Yishmael out of the house, and just like Yitzchak ultimately rejects Eisav, so I guess I'm the reject. Yosef assumes when my father sent me out, and when I went out, I ended up in the bottom of a pit and ended up in a foreign land, and my father's the one who started that, my father's the one who sent me to go see my brothers, where I found my brothers and they put me in the bottom of a pit. I guess I'm the reject of this generation. So why reach out and get in touch with my father? I guess I'm the reject. I guess I'm the reject. Another shameless plug, we'll talk to Rav Machlis in the book about his wife, Henny Machlis, עליה השלום aleha hashalom, unbelievable book. They have, I believe it's 14 children, and one of them went off the דרך derech at one point, was not living an observant life. And there's a whole chapter written by that daughter of how her mother interacted with her in that period of her life, and the way her mother loved her and did the opposite of making her feel like a reject. Whenever her other children were around but someone was there, she'd call over the daughter who was off the דרך derech and say, \"Come, did you meet my daughter? Isn't she beautiful? Isn't she amazing? I'm so proud of her. I love her so much.\" She writes in the book about how her mother treated her, not when she was at her best, but when she was living a life that should have most disappointed her mother. So Yosef says, \"Every generation has the reject. I guess I'm the reject of this generation. My father just sent me out of the house. I ended up on the bottom of a pit. I ended up in the back of a of an 18-wheeler truck on my way being sold down to Egypt. I guess I'm the reject. I guess I'm the reject.\" So he goes, וימצאהו איש vayimtza'eihu ish and he runs into a man. Who is this איש ish? Last week we had an איש ish. Last week's parsha, we had an איש ish, Yaakov wrestled with an איש ish the whole night. This week we have an איש ish. Last week's איש ish was the devil. This week's איש ish is an angel. This week's איש ish is the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel. Who, Yosef's lost, we have another name for the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel. We call her Waze. Yosef's lost, he says, \"I can't find my brothers.\" But what does the angel say? The מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel? Look at this פסוק pasuk. I love this וורט vort. You ready? וימצאהו איש והנה תועה בשדה Vayimtza'eihu ish v'hineh to'eh ba'sadeh. וישאלהו on פסוק ט\"ו pasuk tet vav, verse 15. וישאלהו האיש Vayishaleihu ha'ish, this מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel, this angel asks, מה תבקש mah sevakesh? What are you looking for? Now, we would translate as, מה תבקש mah sevakesh means, what are you looking for? means, you're lost. You don't have Waze. You don't have a GPS. You don't have Google Maps. You don't even have MapQuest. עליו השלום alav hashalom. You're lost. Remember when MapQuest was the coolest thing that ever happened? You remember that? You're like, it's so cool. You could print it out and it gives you directions. There's even a little icon, a left arrow and a right arrow. It's amazing. Until the first wrong turn, then you might as well crumple it up, throw it out the window because it was useless. So מה תבקש mah sevakesh? You look lost. You have no idea how to get where you're going. The angel, the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel says, \"No, how can I help you? How can I help you?\" ויאמר את אחי אנכי מבקש Vayomer es achai anochi mevakesh. I'm looking for my brothers. So this parsha is so unbelievable. He doesn't say, I'm looking for 22234 Hollyhock. He doesn't say, I'm looking for the Carvel on the corner of the Dunkin Donuts. He says, I'm looking for my brothers. I'm looking for my brothers. So there's like in all of Torah and in our parsha in particular, there's the surface of what we're reading, and then there's the conversation beneath the surface. There's the פנימיות pnimiyus, there's the depth of what we're reading. So what was the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel? What was this angel saying, מה תבקש mah sevakesh? He wasn't saying, what's the address? What are the coordinates? What are you looking for? What was he saying, מה תבקש mah sevakesh? Listen to the קוצקער Kotsker. Oh, the הייליגע קוצקער רבי heilige Kotsker Rebbe, רבי מנחם מענדל פון קוצק Rebbe Menachem Mendel of Kotsk. I love the Kotsker. וישאלהו איש Vayishaleihu ish. המלאך לימד את יוסף שיאמר וייחרש ויאמר תמיד את מבוקשו Ha'malach limeid es Yosef sheyomar v'yachrosh v'yomar tamid es mevukasho. This angel, if the angel last week that Yaakov wrestled with the whole night is his alter ego, if the angel last week is the worst part of him, his alter ego, the voice of self-sabotage, then the angel this week is that angel, the good voice, the angel that brings out and encourages us and pushes us to be the best version of ourselves. And the angel says, \"You know how you become the best version of yourself, Yosef? You need to ask yourself and always ask yourself and come back and again ask yourself, מה תבקש mah sevakesh? What are you מבקש mevakesh? What are you מבקש mevakesh? What are you looking for? What are you longing for? In what way are you a מבקש mevakesh?\" So that's the Kotsker. Kotsker very succinct. The Kotsker's teachings in Torah, he didn't write his own ספרים sfarim because the Kotsker, I've shared before, felt, I'm going to write a ספר sefer so a Jew on a Friday night will lie on the couch and will fall asleep and my ספר sefer will end up on the floor in a puddle of drool? For that I should write a ספר sefer? That's what he famously said, the Kotsker. So he didn't, but his students and his תלמידים talmidim and the generations of חסידים chasidim that came from him did record. And they record his teachings in other ways. So the חידושי הרי\"ם Chidushei HaRim writes, Sifsei Tzaddik, he says, ודאי לא דבר קל הוא ירידה זו מבית תלמודו של יעקב אבינו אל בין מצרים שטופי זימה. ושירושי יזכור תמיד את מבוקשו קבוע בו Vaday lo davar kal hu yeridah zu mi'beis talmudo shel Yaakov Avinu el bein Mitzrayim shtufei zimah. U'shirushi yizkor tamid es mevukasho kavu'a bo. This angel is telling him, this angel is saying, Yosef, you're coming from the הייליגע heilige home of your father Yaakov. You grew up in the בית מדרש beis medrash of יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu. You came from the greatest ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva, the greatest משגיח mashgiach, the greatest living example, and you're on your way down to the worst, most corrupt, most morally depraved. You're going into the worst place, the din of iniquity. How are you going to survive? How are you going to more than survive? How are you going to thrive? How do you come out of the protection, the cocoon, the pure בית מדרש beis medrash of Yaakov, and how are you going to make it in a place of corruption, moral decay, in a place of temptation, desire? How are you going to make it? And the answer was, מה תבקש mah sevakesh. You got to ask yourself over and over, are you a מבקש mevakesh and what are you a מבקש mevakesh? What are your aspirations? What are your goals? What are your yearnings? What do you long for? What do you want? What do you want? So it's recorded also in the Lev Simcha, בשם רבנו סיינו, המלאך לימד את יוסף שיאמר תמיד מבוקשו, תמיד לשאול מה תבקש. מה מבקש? b'shem rabbeinu sayinu, ha'malach limeid es Yosef sheyomar tamid mevukasho, tamid lishol mah sevakesh. Mah mevakesh? The Beis Yisrael adds, והוסיף וישאלהו האיש לאמר מה תבקש, שיאמר מה שמבקש V'hoseif vayishaleihu ha'ish leimor mah sevakesh, sheyomar mah she'mevakesh. You know what you should be asking? So the simple understanding is מה תבקש mah sevakesh, what are you a מבקש mevakesh? In what way are you, what are you מבקש mevakesh? What do you want, a nicer car? A nicer house? מה תבקש mah mevakesh? What do you want, less wrinkles? What's your, what's your בקשה bakasha? What is your longing? There's nothing wrong with fewer wrinkles. There's nothing wrong with having a nice car. But if you get to ask for one thing, the angel taps you on the shoulder and says, \"One wish.\" I know we should all answer that I can have all the wishes in the world, but one wish. And the angel let's say knows that trick. And he says one wish for real. What is your בקשה bakasha? Is it נחת nachas from your children and grandchildren? Is it more יראת שמים yiras shamayim? Is it to make a difference? Is it to fulfill the reason you're created? What's your בקשה bakasha? מה תבקש Mah sevakesh? You live your life, what are you living your life for? Dr. Pelkovitz, the great Dr. Pelkovitz likes to put it, what's the bumper sticker on the back of your minivan? Used to say station wagon. What's the bumper sticker on the back of your minivan? Is it Ivy League or Bust? Is it יראת שמים yiras shamayim? Is it having the best מידות midos? Is it doing the most חסד chesed? Is it being a מענטש mentch? What's the, what's the, the children who grow up in your home when they graduate, if they said, \"What was the most important thing to my parents? What would give my parents the greatest נחת nachas?\" What would their answer be? That's the Kotsker. The good angel, the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel, when he finds Yosef, and Yosef is in this transitional point, Yosef is in this pivotal moment, Yosef is on his way down from the בית מדרש beis medrash of Yaakov down, פשוטו כמשמעו pshuto k'mashmao, he's going down into the din of iniquity, to the place of moral corruption, he's going into the place of the greatest temptation, he can easily lose himself. And the angel says, your moral compass is always asking yourself over and over again, מה תבקש mah sevakesh? What is your בקשה bakasha? Are you a מבקש mevakesh? What are you looking for? What are you longing for? What are you longing for? And you know what the answer is? It's in the פסוק pasuk. It's in the פסוק pasuk, said the Beis Yisrael. You know what the answer is? מה תבקש mah sevakesh? You know what you should be searching looking for? מה mah. What's מה mah? My mother's here. Ma, I'm looking for you, Ma, I'm so happy you're here this week. מה תבקש Mah sevakesh. What's the מה mah that we're looking for? So listen to the Beis Yisrael said, מה תבקש, שיאמר מבקש את מה mah sevakesh, sheyomar mevakesh es mah. And what's the מה mah? מה השם אלוקיך שואל מעמך כי אם ליראה Mah Hashem Elokecha shoel meimoch ki im l'yirah. Later in Sefer Devarim, Moshe Rabbeinu says, מה השם אלוקיך שואל מעמך mah Hashem Elokecha shoel meimoch? What does Hashem want from you? Simply to have more יראת שמים yiras shamayim. So what are you מבקש mevakesh? מה מבקש mah mevakesh. You should be a מבקש mevakesh, the מה mah. The מה השם אלוקיך שואל מעמך mah Hashem Elokecha shoel meimoch. That should be what you're a מבקש mevakesh. What does, what does Yosef answer? Look at this. Look at this magnificent conversation. What does he answer? את אחי אנכי מבקש es achai anochi mevakesh. You know what I want? I want some אחדות achdus. I'm just looking for my brothers. I want to feel like a brother. I want to be accepted. I want to be loved. I have a different mother than the rest. They're only half-brothers, and they remind me of that every day when they shove me in the locker or when they call me a name or when they, they don't include me because I have a different mother, even though we have the same father. And you know what I want? You know what my בקשה bakasha? You know what I am a מבקש mevakesh? You know what I long for? את אחי אנכי מבקש Es achai anochi mevakesh. I just want to fit in. I just want אחדות achdus. I just want, I just want my brothers. I just want my brothers. So מה מבקש mah mevakesh says the good angel, the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel, wherever you're going, whatever you do, and wherever you'll be, you will stay grounded. You'll have an anchor and a compass if you ask, what's your, are you a מבקש mevakesh? Are you a searcher? Are you longing? Or are you settled in? Are you apathetic and complacent? Or are you a מבקש mevakesh? Are you a מבקש mevakesh? The pasuk says both in Tehillim and in Divrei Hayamim. We say in our פסוקי דזמרה psukei d'zimra every morning, ישמח לב מבקשי השם yismach lev mevakshei Hashem. ישמח לב מבקשי השם yismach lev mevakshei Hashem. Let the hearts of those who seek Hashem be happy. The Chofetz Chaim says, you know, normally, normally when you look for something, you're only happy when you find it. If you lost something and you're looking for it, you don't say, well, it was a fun search. I didn't find it, but at least I had fun while I was looking. Said nobody ever in history. If you're looking for it, the success is measured by whether you found it. If you're looking for more wealth, you invest, you're entrepreneurial, and you have business ideas and you fail, you don't say, well, it was fun while we went bankrupt. We had a good time on the way down to poverty, to failure. You say if I failed, I failed. But when you're looking for Hashem, ישמח לב מבקשי השם yismach lev mevakshei Hashem. Says the Chofetz Chaim, Hashem's promise is that if you're looking for me, the whole journey itself is rewarding. ישמח לב Yismach lev, the satisfaction, the joy, the happiness, the pleasure of the search itself is incredibly rewarding, even if you didn't find, even if you're struggling to still find. Just the journey is in fact, just the journey is in fact incredibly rewarding. The Divrei Yisrael, the Mojitser Rebbe says, את אחי אנכי מבקש es achai anochi mevakesh. The Divrei Yisrael, the Mojitser says the following, Beis Yisrael Tov. He says, את אחי אנכי מבקש es achai anochi mevakesh. I thank my good friend Rav Mirov for this. פירש אנכי היינו התורה Peirush anochi heinu haTorah. The Midrash Tanchuma says that the word אנכי anochi is an allusion, is a reference to Torah. Why would אנכי anochi be an allusion to Torah? Nu, we got a live audience here. We got some live ones, I think. שכויח. אנכי השם אלוקיך Shkoyach. Anochi Hashem Elokecha. Because the עשרת הדברות Aseres HaDibros begin, and Rav Saadya Gaon says you could reduce in fact the whole עשרת הדברות Aseres HaDibros, the ten commandments, you could reduce to one. The whole 613 could be reduced to ten, and the ten can be reduced to one, and the one can be reduced to the opening word. All of Torah can be condensed into the word אנכי Anochi. Hashem says, hi, I'm here. That's it. The rest is commentary. I'm here and therefore I want a relationship. relationship, therefore I'm in charge, therefore I love you, support you, guide you, therefore there's meaning and purpose to life, therefore I have a mission and mandate for you. Everything else is commentary, but it all begins with אנכי Anochi.Hi, says God. I'm here. Notice me. Look for me, seek for me, seek me. So, אנכי Anochi is היינו תורה hainu Torah says the מדרש Midrash. ועיסקא בתורה מבקש אחוה ורעות Ve'iska b'Torah mevakesh achva v'reus. And when you're learning Torah, it can't be that Torah divides. Torah cannot be a weapon. Torah cannot be a weapon to club others over the head. Torah is not a weapon to criticize and judge. Torah is not a weapon to divide. Torah should be the ultimate uniter. Torah should be the ultimate platform to bring Jews together and unite. כי חכם מכל אדם ושמונה דברים שהתורה נקנית בהם Ki chacham mikol adam u'shmonah devarim she'haTorah nikneis bahem, says the דברי ישראל Divrei Yisrael, one of the 48 ways the Torah is acquired, a משנה בפרקי אבות Mishna b'Pirkei Avos, ברייתא Braisa in the sixth chapter of פרקי אבות Pirkei Avos. One of the 48 ways the Torah is acquired is דיבוק חברים dibuk chaverim.You can't learn Torah if you go live on an island by yourself. You can't learn Torah if you're in a room that you hate everybody there and you call them a name and you reject every idea that they raise. A prerequisite to Torah learning is דיבוק חברים dibuk chaverim. You have to have a חברה chevra. You have to have a good חברה chevra. You have to have a good חברותא chavrusa. You have to have good friends. You have to connect. איין שם באבות Ein sham b'Avos. So, זהו שרמז את אחי zehu she'ramaz es achai, היינו אהבה ואחוה hainu ahava v'achva, אנכי מבקש Anochi mevakesh. The Torah is מבקש אחי mevakesh achai. את אחי אנכי מבקש Es achai anochi mevakesh. My brothers, that's what, that's my בקשה bakasha, said יוסף Yosef back to this angel, the מלאך גבריאל malach Gavriel. You know what I'm looking for? I'm looking for my brothers. I just want some אחדות achdus. I just want to fit in. I just want to be together and feel that we are together. That's what I'm looking for. But the מדרש of the בית ישראל Midrash of the Beis Yisrael takes it a step further and says אנכי is מבקש Anochi is mevakesh. You know what the Torah is מבקש? אחי mevakesh? Achai. The Torah wants us to be together. The Torah wants us to feel together. That is what the Torah is about. Here's a second פשט in the מדרש of the דברי ישראל pshat in the Midrash of the Divrei Yisrael. אנכי, התורה מתחננת ומבקשת מישראל את אחי Anochi, haTorah mischanenes u'mevakeshes mi'Yisrael es achai, שיהיו באהבה ואחוה ואחדות she'yihyu b'ahava v'achva v'achdus. That's what the Torah wants from us. It's a beautiful idea of Rav Kook.גמרא Gemara calls תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim בעלי תריסין baalei trisin. בעלי תריסין Baalei trisin. בעלי תריסין Baalei trisin means, what's a תריס tris? I don't mean in Israel, the lower so you could sleep and the dark out shades. What are תריסין trisin? Are shields. They protect. I guess like the תריס tris protects. But the, the תריסין trisin are shields. So why are תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim called the guardians of the shields? So Rav Kook says in his עין איה Ein Aya, his commentary on the אגדתא Agadata sections of תלמוד Talmud, such a beautiful פשט pshat. He says, in the מלחמתה של תורה milchamtah shel Torah, when תלמידי חכמים in the בית מדרש talmidei chachamim in the beis midrash are going at it. They're going at it. And you think your סברא svara and I say my סברא svara and your סברא svara is ridiculous and here's why I poke a hole in it and here's my סברא svara and I can. So the attitude of the תלמיד חכם in the בית מדרש talmid chacham in the beis midrash is not that I take my weapon and I destroy you, it's that I hold up a shield and I protect what I believe. My goal is not to destroy you, my goal is to stand for what I believe. They're not called the guardians of the bow and arrow, the guardian of the sword, the guardian of the, of the Uzi or the rifle. They're called the guardian of the shield. Because תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim don't go on the attack. תלמיד חכם Talmid chacham doesn't go on the attack. Because Torah is supposed to bring us together and Torah is supposed to unite us and Torah is meant to be the glue that holds us together. So we don't go on the attack. Rather we protect what we believe and we protect what we stand for. Okay, פרק ל\"ז פסוק י\"ח perek lamed-zayin pasuk yud-ches, moving along.ויראו אותו מרחוק Vayir'u oso meirachok, the brothers now see יוסף Yosef. They see him from a distance. ובטרם יקרב אליהם ויתנכלו אותו להמיתו U'veterem yikrav aleihem, vayisnaklu oso l'hamiso. And the brothers approached them, they conspire against him, and what do they want to do to him? They want to kill him. They want to kill him. Now you can ask a very simple question. These brothers want to kill him. First of all, there's an amazing חתם סופר Chasam Sofer in our פרשה parsha. It's on פרשת ויחי parshas Vayechi but it applies here. He wants to know, the brothers see and they want to kill him. When יוסף Yosef is about to sin in our פרשה parsha with the wife of פוטיפר Potifar, a beautiful seductress, a beautiful temptress over and over relentlessly pursues יוסף Yosef, and יוסף Yosef has nothing to lose. He's far from his family, he has no reputation, he has nothing to lose to give in to this temptation. He's a single man, he's a handsome man who women peer over the wall, they throw themselves at him. And יוסף Yosef has nothing to lose. Where does he muster the strength, the courage to resist her temptation? We all know the חז\"ל Chazal. What gives him the strength? דמות דיוקנו של אביו D'mus dyokno shel aviv. He sees the image of his father. Maybe he looked in the mirror and he saw he was the spitting image of his father. So he looked in the mirror but he saw his father and he said it's not פאסט past. It's beneath you. It's beneath you, יוסף Yosef. Don't do it. You got this. We'll talk about that more another time. So the חתם סופר Chasam Sofer wants to know, how come the brothers are about to kill יוסף Yosef? They conspire to kill him. Remember at first they're going to kill him. They let him live in the end, and thank God for that. But they're ready to kill him. Why didn't the image of their father pop into their head? Did you ever think about that question? Me neither. The חתם סופר Chasam Sofer did. Thank God. Why didn't they have דמות דיוקנו של אביו d'mus dyokno shel aviv? Why didn't they think, why didn't they see the image of their father like יוסף Yosef does? Why didn't it save them? You know what the חתם סופר Chasam Sofer answers? He says there are a lot of יצר הרעs yetzer haras that we face. A lot of urges that we have. We spoke in the שבת שובה דרשה Shabbos Shuva drasha, feels like a lifetime ago. We spoke about the pause between the urge and the action. That the way to live a healthier life, the way to overcome that voice of temptation is to realize that the urge does not have to lead to action. They're not synonymous, they're not simultaneous. But there's a pause between the urge and the action. We talked about this in Torah, we talked about this in modern research, and we talked about this in motivation. To create the pause between the urge and the action. So there are urges that we can create that pause. You're tempted to sleep in, you're tempted to eat the wrong thing, you're tempted to react the wrong way. Take that deep breath and take that pause and we can do it. He says, but there's one urge, there's one drive in a person that it's almost impossible to have a pause. And you know what that is? Hatred. When a person is filled with hatred, when you have שנאה sinah, you lose your mind. We've seen people quite literally lose their mind when they're filled with שנאה sinah. LeBron James the other night, happened to not be a fan, threw an elbow and made someone else bleed. And anyone who saw the highlight, you'll see that, I don't even remember his name on the opposing team, I don't even know what team it was, he lost his mind three times going after LeBron. A person who feels injured, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, and gets filled with a hatred and a vengeance, loses their mind, against their own best interest. How many people have brought themselves down in the pursuit of attacking someone else? The חתם סופר Chasam Sofer says these brothers were filled with such hatred, such שנאה sinah, that is the power of שנאה sinah. The power of שנאה sinah, the power of anger and rage, we become different people, our judgment is clouded. So, says the חתם סופר Chasam Sofer, יעקב's Yaakov's image did appear, but they didn't see it. They couldn't see it. Because when you're filled with rage, you can't even see the truth right in front of you. When you're filled with rage, it's like cataract and macular degeneration combined. When you're filled with rage, you can't see, you become blind to what's right in front of you. So יעקב's Yaakov's image did appear to them like it appeared to יוסף Yosef. They simply couldn't see because they were filled with such anger and such rage, and we continue to suffer from that as we spoke about until today. But the ספורנו Sforno is not satisfied. And the ספורנו Sforno says ויתנכלו vayisnaklu. Look at the ספורנו Sforno. I say look as if you have מקראות גדולות Mikraos Gedolos. If you have a מקראות גדולות Mikraos Gedolos, look at the ספורנו Sforno, רבי עובדיה ספורנו Rav Ovadia Sforno, the great Italian commentator. And he writes here on this פסוק pasuk. פרק ל\"ז פסוק י\"ח Perek lamed-zayin pasuk yud-ches. And he says the following. ויתנכלו Vayisnaklu, they conspired. להמיתו l'hamiso, they were going to kill him. Now there's a bother. These are the שבטי קה Shivtei Kah we're talking about. This is not some gang. This is not the mafia. This is not the Lower East Side. This is not, not to say anything wrong with the Lower East Side. I myself as a child was not, right? מה תבקש mah tevakesh, I was not a great student. But meaning, this is not the rejects. These are the שבטי קה Shivtei Kah. These are the twelve tribes, the eleven tribes. These are the greatest. These are the individuals whose names are on the חושן choshen. The high priest wears them on his uniform in the holiest place in the world at the holiest time. And they conspired to kill their brother, to murder their brother in cold blood. הנה לשון התנכלות יורה על מחשבה לא רעה Hinei lashon hitnaklus yoreh al machshava lo ra'ah. Says the ספורנו Sforno, the language of conspiring tells us that this was premeditated. Premeditated. It was not self-defense. This was not self-defense. This was premeditated murder. אמר שחשבו את יוסף בלבם, נוכל להמית, ובשבא אליהם, לא לדרוש שלומם, אלא למצוא עליהם עלילה, או להכתימם כדי שיקבלו מאביהם, או יענישם אלקי יצחק. וישאר הוא לבדו ברוך מבנים, ולשון התנכלות יורה עצם הדבר בנפש, כמו אתה מתנכש בנפשי, מצער בלבם כמוקש נפשי Omar she'chashvu es Yosef b'libam, nuchal l'hamis, u've'sheba aleihem, lo lidrosh shlomam, ela limtzo aleihem alila, o l'hachtimam kedei she'yekablu mei'avihem, o ya'anishem Elokei Yitzchak. V'yisha'er hu l'vado boruch mibanim, v'lashon hitnaklus yoreh etzem ha'davar b'nefesh, kmo atah misnakesh b'nafshi, u'mitzar b'libam k'mokesh nafshi.So says the ספורנו Sforno, if you look at the grammar, if you look at the דיקדוק dikduk, you'll see it reveals, do you know why the brothers felt that they could kill יוסף Yosef? It was not premeditated murder. They thought they were acting in self-defense. They believed that יוסף's Yosef's dreams and that יוסף Yosef had his own, יוסף Yosef was conspiring himself to eliminate his brothers. They thought יוסף Yosef was going to kill them. And they therefore believed with all their heart that they were acting in self-defense. ובזה הודיע מה היה על לבם, ביאת כלם צדיקים גמורים עד שיושם שמותם לפני השם לזכרון. איך נועדו לב אחד להרוג את אחיהם, או למכרו, ולנחמו על הרע, כי גם כשאמרו אבל אשמים אנחנו על אחינו, לא אמרו שתהא אשמתם על מכירתו ממש, אלא על צרת נפשו ושהתחננו ולא שמענו U'v'zeh hodia mah hayah al libam, b'yos kulam tzaddikim gemurim ad she'yusam shmosam lifnei Hashem l'zikaron. Eich no'adu lev echad laharog es achihem, o limkro, u'l'nachamo al ha'ra. Ki gam k'she'amru aval ashemim anachnu al achinu, lo amru she'tehei ashmasam al mechiraso mamash, ela al tzaras nafsho v'shehischannenu v'lo shama'anu. Even later when they say we were guilty, they don't say we were guilty of what we tried to do. You feel a little guilty of how it turned out. We're guilty of the pain it caused our father. But they don't feel guilty that at the time they did the wrong thing. Says the Sforno, you know why? Because they say if we could do it again, we'd do it the same way because we thought he was trying to kill us. We were acting in self-defense. והנה היקר בכתוב כשיורו בלבם וחשבו את יוסף לנוכל מתנכש בנפשם להמיתם בעולם הזה או בעולם הבא. והתורה אמרה הבא להורגך השכם להורגו V'hinei ha'ikar b'kasuv k'she'yoru b'libam v'chashvu es Yosef l'nochel misnakesh b'nafsham l'hamisam b'olam ha'zeh o b'olam ha'ba. V'haTorah amrah ha'ba l'hargecha hashkem l'horgo. The Torah says someone trying to kill you, rise and you can kill them. You can kill them, self-defense. So the Sforno says, and he tries to make a little bit more sense of what's going on for us. The Sforno says, do you know why the brothers felt justified in conspiring to kill יוסף Yosef? Self-defense. He was coming to kill them. Which begs the question that Rav Volbe then asks. If the Sforno's right, that the brothers were acting in self-defense, then what'd they do wrong? And how do we know they did wrong? Torah tells us they did wrong, but עשרה הרוגי מלכות asara harugei malchus, the מדרש איכה Midrash Eicha tells us, the ten martyrs, the hands of the Romans, were paying the price of the terrible sin of these ten brothers. We continue to suffer from it until today, the baseless hatred. We know what they did was wrong. We know what they did is wrong. So if the Sforno's right, if, it's an if, if the Sforno's right, his interpretation that these brothers were acting in self-defense, then what did they do wrong? And listen to this insight by Rav Volbe. Oh, it's unbelievable this insight. האחים דנו לרודף, ומאידך בזכות מה חטא המעשה הם חלקו על ראשם, עיקר תלמודנו בעניני סיפורי התורה הוא תמיד להבחין בין מהלך הנגלה ובין מהלך הנסתר של המעשה Ha'achim danu l'rodef, u'me'idach b'zchus mah chet ha'maaseh hem chilku al rosham. Ikar talmudeinu b'inyanei sipurei haTorah hu tamid l'havchin bein mahalach ha'nigleh u'vein mahalach ha'nistar shel ha'maaseh. Says Rav Volbe, our core obligation is to study Torah is to both read the surface, to read the simple understanding and meaning of the text, and to take a deep dive, to try to understand what's going on beneath the surface of the text. And he says here, המהלך הנגלה מחשבתם רודף ha'mahalach ha'nigleh machshavasam rodef. So the simple understanding is they considered him a רודף rodef. He was coming to kill them, they were entitled in self-defense to kill him. אבל המהלך הנסתר שלא ידעו ממנו כלל, גם שם היה איזשהו כוח אחר, שהיה קנאה, שנאה, התעוררות אנוכיות Aval ha'mahalach ha'nistar she'lo yad'u mimenu klal, gam sham hayah eishehu koach acher, she'hayah kinah, sinah, hisorerus anochiyus, their ego, says Rav Volbe, not me, says Rav Volbe, their אנוכיות anochiyus, their ego got in the way. They were jealous, they were envious, they were arrogant. האדם דומה למכונה, כמו שידוע מהרבה שיחותיו ha'adam domeh l'mechona, kmo she'yadua mei'harbeh sichosav. So he says, Rav Volbe, he says, how do you know this? Go back to that word את es. That word את es has the two letters on top. So it tells us that on the surface these brothers were going to check in on יוסף Yosef. On the surface they thought they were acting in self-defense according to the Sforno, but just beneath the surface, they had an alternative motive, ulterior motive. Just beneath the surface, their act was laced with egocentric feelings. Their action was laced with egocentric feelings. They brought, the brothers had jealousy and hatred, even if it was subconscious. So the Torah is telling us we are responsible for our subconscious feelings as well. Even when we're doing the right thing, but if we're driven to do what is justifiably right thing, but we're driven to do it for the wrong reason, then we are accountable for that. Even if the Sforno was right that they were acting in self-defense that יוסף Yosef was a רודף rodef, at least they perceived it as such, nevertheless what they did was wrong, why? Because their actions were laced with selfish motive, with envy and with jealousy and with arrogance. מידות Middos are a very, very important factor, says Rav Volbe. It's not just about what we do externally, it's about why we do it, which driving us to do it, the personal, what we'd call it, the personal נגיעות negiyos. Personal נגיעות negiyos. You know, somebody has to do something. Somebody needs to be suspended from shul, from the community. A child needs to be, need some time out at home. Who is the one who executes on that decision? Sometimes you say you can't do it, you know why? You have personal נגיעות negiyos. Even though they deserve it, you have personal נגיעות negiyos here. You're biased. You'll get a certain joy from it. You have a certain hatred or jealousy in it. So we have to be aware of those feelings, even subconscious feelings, says Rav Volbe. We are accountable for, and we have to be aware of even the subconscious feelings and that we are accountable, even if we do a justifiable action, if we are doing it for a non-justifiable reason, then we are accountable.Rav Soloveitchik has a different interpretation of מרחוק meirachok. ויראו אותו מרחוק Vayir'u oso meirachok. The brothers saw him from a distance, from afar. Says the Rav, at the moment that he tried to come close to them, they rejected him. He appeared strange to his brothers. They could not perceive the beauty hidden in the soul of their younger brother. His sanctity was hidden behind the curtain of his external appearance, which intervened to hide the sublime and wondrous within him. The coat of many colors, the external covered what was taking place beneath. To his brothers, his beauty was merely superficial, a sun charming to the eye. Each one strode along to see him. Only his father understood that his handsome son with the flowing locks of hair, with the dream-filled eyes that revealed both soft refinement and great strength, was given to a vision beyond the boundaries of this world and was swept along in a strong storm of emotion, a yearning for redemption and transcendence. Only his father understood that the dream implanted within him was directed toward not towards tangible goals, but towards a holy, pure existence. Only his father grasped that the deceptively attractive external reflected an inner light. You know, sometimes beauty is a liability. Sometimes charisma is a liability. It makes people cynical or sarcastic about you. It makes people believe that there's nothing beneath the surface, that there's no depth. And that was the mistake that the brothers had. They saw him ויראו אותו מרחוק vayir'u oso meirachok. They saw him, they kept him at a distance, an arm's length away. Oh, you're the good looking, you're the charismatic, you're the charming, you're the jock, you're the this, you're the that. They never got to know the real him. They never got to see inside him. All they saw was the curated social media profile of יוסף Yosef. They didn't bother and maybe יוסף Yosef didn't allow them to get inside who he really was. They only saw him מרחוק meirachok. You know who got inside יוסף's Yosef's inner chamber, inside his heart, who really understood him? His father. That's why his father was שומר את הדבר shomer es hadavar. But יוסף Yosef walked around misunderstood. יוסף Yosef walked around lonely. יוסף Yosef walked around, he was very blessed. He was brilliant and good-looking and charismatic and athletic and artistic and he had עלה מעלות alah maalos. He was one of the מצוינים metzuyanim. And that sounds like it's an amazing asset. But for יוסף Yosef it was also a liability because it left him feeling very alone. His own brothers saw him ויראו אותו מרחוק vayir'u oso meirachok. From a distance. He's the other. He's the outsider. He's the one with the perfectly curated profile. He's the one who everything comes easy. They didn't let him in. The brothers thought that personal holiness, a pure heart, a modest soul, were inconsistent with יוסף's Yosef's concern for his appearance, that you can't be handsome and charming and charismatic and also have depth and authenticity to you. They looked at their handsome sibling with suspicion. He was guilty of paying too much attention to his physical self, adorning himself, combing his hair in his desire to attract praise. He was guilty of displaying self-aggrandizing pride, the sun, the moon, the eleven stars. Even after his death, יוסף's Yosef's real self remained hidden. He was always viewed from afar, a cold white statue devoid of warmth. The embalmers turned him into a frozen mummy and closed his coffin, we read at the end of ויחי Vayechi. No one recognized him for who he truly was. This description of the Rav is very painful, to think of his existential loneliness. To think how יוסף Yosef lived his life constantly feeling misunderstood, underappreciated, that people only saw him as skin deep. They only accepted of him what they saw on the surface, but there was so much more. And so, here you have, again, see this conversation now in an entirely different way. The angel saying, מה תבקש mah tevakesh? You want to succeed when you go down to Egypt? You have to always be a מבקש mevakesh. Constantly be re-evaluating, recalibrating, what are you מבקש mevakesh? What are you searching, what are you seeking? יוסף Yosef says, you know what I want? The real me. What I want is not this amazing hairdo, all gelled up and handsome and beautiful. The real me is not this designer clothing or good looks. The real me is not this charisma, this oratory skill. The real me is not that I'm the captain of every team in school. You know what I want? את אחי אנכי מבקש Es achai anochi mevakesh. I just want to fit in. I want to be understood, I want to belong, I want my place. And then the brothers come along. And while that's what יוסף Yosef wants, ויראו אותו מרחוק vayir'u oso meirachok, they refuse to give him his desire. They still see him as the outsider from afar, a distant, misunderstood, misunderstood. יוסף's Yosef's greatness is that he doesn't turn to a life of drugs because he feels he doesn't belong. I wish we had time to talk about this now, but, you know, we have all around us and let's be honest, every community has within us enormous challenges with drugs, alcohol, addiction. People say, oh rabbi, you're one of the rabbis who talks a lot about recovery. I don't know. I don't know, there's not a rabbi who doesn't interact a lot with recovery or people who need or belong in it. I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of. The only people who are, should be ashamed and the only stigma should be on the people who don't talk about recovery and who don't get the help they need when they need it. So very, very often, talk to people who turn to a life of addiction, who numb themselves or try to fill that vacuum and hole in their heart with some substance or behavior or addiction and ask them why they did it and it begins with ויראו את אחיהם ויראו אותו מרחוק vayir'u es achihem vayir'u oso meirachok. I cannot tell you how many of those young people will tell you that when I was growing up and when I was in school, ויראו אותו מרחוק vayir'u oso meirachok. They saw me as the outsider. I never belonged, I could never break in, I was never understood, I was never comfortable in my own skin, I was never comfortable among friends, I wasn't even comfortable in my own family. And living with that discomfort regularly, I needed to ease that pain. I needed to relieve that pressure. And then I found alcohol or drugs or gambling or or eating or or intimacy or or pornography. And that distracted me and that filled the hole in my heart. And you know what? ויראו אותו מרחוק Vayir'u oso meirachok. I still didn't belong and I still wasn't understood, but at least now I didn't feel the pain, I could live with it.I can't tell you that's almost every young person, how it begins, what leads to it. So you can read this entirely differently, the story of יוסף Yosef. יוסף Yosef looked like he had it all. Who wouldn't want to be יוסף Yosef? But if you see it through that lens, יוסף Yosef did not have it all. He didn't have the one thing that he wanted the most, that when the angel says, what do you want the most? The one thing he wanted the most he didn't have and his brothers wouldn't let him have it. They didn't let him in. And if you fast forward the story to ויחי Vayechi, and when it seems that יוסף Yosef now should be on top and the brothers should have learned their lesson and finally should come around and now יוסף Yosef should finally have what he's wanted all along, he still doesn't. You know why? 'Cause what do the brothers do after יעקב Yaakov dies? They break יוסף's Yosef's heart into pieces. When יוסף Yosef thinks he's finally broken in, את אחי אנכי מבקש es achai anochi mevakesh, and he thinks he has, he's one of the brothers. And the brothers come to him and they say, יוסף Yosef, could we talk to you for a minute? Sure, what's up brothers? All good, everything's been amazing, we're reunited, we're all good, we understand one another, we're one. Said, yeah, yeah, yeah, all that stuff, but we need to tell you something. Dad, before he died, called us to his deathbed, he just wanted us to remind you that even after he's gone, don't kill us. Don't take revenge. Don't get even for what we did. And יוסף Yosef is devastated. He says, you think that all this time, the only reason I haven't taken revenge is because of dad? You think I'm still an outsider? You're the outsiders still to me? That all this time, you think the only thing that's held me back from killing you is dad, is אבא abba? So much so that you need to lie and manufacture? And why is יוסף's Yosef's heart particularly broken? יוסף Yosef knows that his father could not have said that. And why does יוסף Yosef know that his father could not have said that? Because יוסף Yosef never told his father what happened. So here was יוסף Yosef for all those years protecting his brothers, because that's what brothers do for one another. Real brothers who understand one another and love one another are loyal to one another. Real brothers have each other's back. Real brothers do not stab each other in the back. So יוסף Yosef had his brother's back, and what does he come to learn at the end of his life that the very thing he's craved all of his life, he still doesn't have. He knows his father could not have said that because he never told his father what happened because he acted like a brother. And they now break his heart because they're still not his brothers when they say, Dad said remind you, don't kill us.So it's, it's really a tragic reading in the way the Rav reads these three words ויראו אותו מרחוק vayir'u oso meirachok, this whole exchange, יוסף Yosef with the angel and what he wants, what יוסף Yosef describes that he does want, and that his brothers don't give it to him, it's absolutely, absolutely heartbreaking. פרק ל\"ז פסוק כ\"ט Perek lamed-zayin pasuk kaf-tes. Moving right along. יוסף Yosef is sold into slavery. They go back and they tell יעקב Yaakov, they present the bloody colored coat. They say that he was killed by an animal. And we know that we invoke this at the סדר seder. We do several dippings. כרפס, כתונת פסים Karpas, k'sones passim, we dip it in salt water, because we begin our סדר seder before we can celebrate freedom and redemption, we have to remember how it all began with שנאת חינם sinas chinam, with hatred. Now our story is rudely interrupted by the story of יהודה and תמר Yehuda and Tamar. This is like theater. And the act, the curtain comes down on the story of the brothers with יוסף Yosef, sold in the pit, they go report falsely to יעקב Yaakov, he's pulled out of the pit, he's sold to the caravan of of merchants. And now the curtain comes down and when it comes back up, we bring you to another scene, we pivot to another story, the story of יהודה and תמר Yehuda and Tamar. But before we get to it, before we get to it, somewhat enigmatically, we have two words. Two words. פרק ל\"ז פסוק כ\"ט Perek lamed-zayin pasuk kaf-tes. And what are those two words? וישב ראובן Vayashov Reuven. וישב ראובן Vayashov Reuven. Last ראובן Reuven left it, they were trying to kill יוסף Yosef. Convinces them, throw him in a pit, don't kill him. Now he comes back to the pit, והנה אין יוסף בבור v'hinei ein Yosef ba'bor. Uh-oh. He comes back to the pit, there's no יוסף Yosef. ויקרע את בגדיו Vayikra es begadav, he tears his garments because he didn't want יוסף Yosef dead. He's the one who had a whole plan to keep him alive. Where's יוסף Yosef? וישב אל אחיו ויאמר הילד איננו ואני אנה אני בא Vayashov el echav vayomer hayeled einenu, va'ani anah ani va. He says, where am I gonna go? What am I gonna do? We're in big trouble. What's gonna happen? Where is יוסף Yosef? These two words, וישב ראובן vayashov Reuven. ראובן Reuven came back. Where was he? What happened? What do you mean he came back from the... The brothers seemed like they were doing this all together. We're gonna kill him, no, throw him in a pit. Throw him in the pit, no, let's sell him into slavery. Oh, ראובן Reuven seemed to disappear between the throw him in the pit and the sell him into slavery. Where was he during this time? So Rashi tells us. You know where he was during this time? He was עוסק היה בשקו ובתעניתו על שבלבל יצועי אביו osek hayah b'sako u'v'ta'aniso al she'bilbel yetzuei aviv. He was sitting and he was crying, he was sitting and he was doing תשובה teshuva. He was sitting fasting, he was sitting fasting and learning and giving צדקה tzedaka and repenting. What did he have to repent for? Why do you have to repent? He disrespected his father in last week's פרשה parsha. In fact the מדרש Midrash tells us, אמר לו הקדוש ברוך הוא לראובן, מעולם לא חטא אדם לפני ועשה תשובה, ואתה פתחת בתשובה תחילה, חייך שבן בנך הושע פותח בתשובה Amar lo haKadosh Baruch Hu l'Reuven, me'olam lo chata adam lefanai v'asah teshuva, v'atah pasachta b'teshuva techila, chayecha she'ben bincha Hoshea poseach b'teshuva. It's the מדרש Midrash on the נביא הושע navi Hoshea, שובה ישראל Shuva Yisrael, that you ראובן Reuven are the first one to ever do תשובה teshuva and because you opened the door to doing תשובה teshuva, now, because of that, your great-great grandchild, your progeny will do תשובה, הושע, שובה ישראל teshuva, Hoshea, Shuva Yisrael. So asks Rav Yaakov Yitzchak Ruderman, the ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva, the founder of נר ישראל Ner Yisrael Baltimore, the תלמיד talmid of the אלתר מסלבודקה Alter miSlabodka, the great Rav Ruderman in his שיעורים shiurim and in the שיעור shiur in volume חלק י\"ג chelek yud-gimmel, quotes this דבר תורה dvar Torah. It's in the צדקת אליון Tzidkas Elyon from Rav Ruderman, the ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva of נר ישראל Ner Yisrael. He says, ראובן's Reuven's the first to do תשובה teshuva? What are you talking about? אדם הראשון Adam HaRishon did תשובה teshuva. קין Kayin did תשובה teshuva. Many did תשובה teshuva. What are you talking about ראובן's Reuven's the first? אתה פתחת בתשובה Ata pasachta b'teshuva. You ראובן Reuven are the first to do תשובה teshuva, therefore in your merit תשובה teshuva is introduced to the world. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Says Rav Ruderman, the answer to this question is in the גמרא in שבת Gemara in Shabbos. The גמרא in שבת דף נ\"ה Gemara in Shabbos daf nun-hei tells us that אמר רבי שמעון בן נחמני ורבי יונתן, כל האומר ראובן חטא, אינו אלא טועה Amar Rabbi Shimon ben Nachmani v'Rabbi Yonasan, kol ha'omer Reuven chata, eino ela to'eh. If you say that ראובן Reuven sinned, you're making a mistake. What does that mean you're making a mistake? Doesn't the Torah tell us he sinned? What's the case? רחל Rachel dies, יעקב Yaakov is so broken that his wife, his beloved רחל Rachel dies, that he moves his bed into whose tent? בלהה Bilha. The maidservant of רחל Rachel. If he can't be with רחל Rachel, at least he can be with second best, רחל's Rachel's maidservant. ראובן Reuven says, it's bad enough dad that you had to marry a second wife, Aunt רחל Rachel. It's bad enough you took on a second wife, Aunt רחל Rachel. But now that she died, instead of permanently being with my mother לאה Leah, you're with this maidservant, the שפחה shifcha, בלהה Bilha? So the text says וישכב vayishkav, that that ראובן Reuven lay with. But the גמרא Gemara says if you read it simply like that, אינו אלא טועה eino ela to'eh. You're making a terrible, terrible mistake. And why is that a terrible mistake? וילך ראובן וישכב את בלהה פילגש אביו Vayelech Reuven vayishkav es Bilha pilegesh aviv. ראובן Reuven went and he lay with בלהה Bilha, the פילגש pilegesh of his father. וישכב את בלהה Vayishkav es Bilha sounds like he was intimate with בלהה Bilha. ראובן's Reuven's revenge against his own father, avenging the dignity of his mother, sounds like was that he was וישכב vayishkav, he lay with, he slept with, he was intimate with בלהה Bilha. But the גמרא Gemara says if you read it that way, אינו אלא טועה eino ela to'eh. You're making a big mistake. You know what it means וישכב את בלהה vayishkav es Bilha? It means he took the bed out of בלהה's Bilha's tent and he moved it back into לאה's Leah's tent. He took the bed out of בלהה's Bilha's tent and he moved it back into יעקב's tent, into לאה's Leah's tent. God forbid he was not, he would never violate those moral boundaries. He would never disrespect his father. He would never disrespect his aunt's שפחה shifcha. Of course he didn't do anything like that. But in his father's, in his mother's defense, he took the bed and he moved it back to לאה's Leah's tent. But that was a mistake, because that was disrespecting his own father's choice. And for that he sat and he mourned and he grieved. So says Rav Ruderman, do you know what it means that he's the very first to do תשובה teshuva? Sometimes we make a mistake where we made a mistake and we did the mistake for the wrong reason. A person looked at the thing they shouldn't have looked at. A person did an act they shouldn't have done. A person crossed a line, a boundary, they shouldn't have crossed. A person was dishonest on their taxes, a person crossed a moral boundary. Made a mistake because we gave into the יצר הרע yetzer hara. Sometimes we made a mistake because we thought what we did was right. We thought we were following not our יצר הרע yetzer hara, but our יצר הטוב yetzer hatov. We thought we were defending dignity, standing up for the honor of Torah, practicing כיבוד אם kibud aim. We thought we were doing something righteous. But even when we think we're doing something righteous, sometimes we're wrong. Says Rav Ruderman, ראובן Reuven is the first to do תשובה teshuva and admit he was wrong, even when he thought what he was doing was righteous. To do תשובה teshuva when you know what you did was wrong, ah, that many did before. But to do תשובה teshuva even when you thought what you did was right and righteous, that's a whole new level of תשובה teshuva.And that's where ראובן Reuven was. ראובן Reuven wasn't here, that's why וישב ראובן אל הבור vayashav Reuven el habor. He had to return to the pit because he was sitting doing תשובה teshuva. He was broken. And that's so impressive to us that he was doing תשובה teshuva and he was broken. And why is that so impressive to us? Because he thought what he did was right. He did what he did with a sense of לשמה lishma. He did it לשמה lishma. He did it for the right reason, even if it was the wrong thing to do.And we're out of time. Out of time even though there were so many more things to talk about. I have so many דברי תורה divrei Torah in the פרשה parsha. Alas, what can we do? Alright, join us, maybe I'm going to share it come to the אמונה emunah shiurim. Women are invited to the Living with אמונה Emunah for Women. Men, you could stay home and watch on your device, it's streamed, but the room is only for women. And I have a דבר תורה dvar Torah on the פרשה parsha on אמונה emunah we're going to start with tomorrow. So if you still want more on the פרשה parsha, check out Living with אמונה Emunah. First משניות Mishnayos shiur at 8:15 tomorrow morning. Living with אמונה Emunah is 8:45. Behind the בימה bimah with Rav Machlis, a צדיק of ירושלים Tzaddik of Yerushalayim. Rav Machlis is mind-boggling. Too good to be true, almost. He's incredible. Tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. Till next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
