Transcript
Good morning Boker Tov welcome back to Living with Emuna thank you so much for your flexibility in changing the date of the shiur this week I want to thank as always our generous Emuna series sponsors Dr. Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanser and in honor of our holy and precious Chayalim all of our soldiers they should be safe while they're keeping us safe we remain always grateful to the Morgans for their generosity series is also generously sponsored anonymously in memory of the fallen soldiers of Bnei David Yeshiva and Mechina Eli and the injured soldiers this week we're highlighting מתן מרדכי בן מאירה who's undergoing as we're learning reconstructive surgery of his skull after a missile fell two meters from him and shrapnel penetrated his brain he should have a complete speedy and painless refua shleima the missile miraculously struck a soda machine absorbing most of the impact and shrapnel saved him and many others from even far worse injury and we're still davening for others as well Ariel ben Itai Magne ben Tzivia Yair ben Leah בני אברהם בן רויטל דוד בן זיוה לאה איתן דוד בן טובה Elazar ben Orana אביה בן חיים בן נועה Nadav ben Dana יהודה צבי בן רחל נתליה they should all have a complete speedy refua shleima today's shiur is also sponsored by Shmuel and Esther Chaiyos l'ilui nishmas his father יעקב יהודה בן גדליה and in the zchus of a refua shleima for her mother בת שבע בת בולמה רבקה anonymously in honor of the recent engagement of David Rubin and Raquel Aber mazal tov mazal tov should build a בית נאמן בישראל and since the shiur was moved to Gimmel Tammuz today how could we not also dedicate the shiur in memory of the Rebbe the Rebbe Zatzal רב מנחם מנדל בן רב לוי יצחק the Lubavitcher Rebbe who changed the face of the world and the lives of even those who don't identify as Lubavitch even the most non-Lubavitch when they travel and need a minyan or kosher food or a mikvah are part of and grateful to the Rebbe's army for what he's done so we should all be a little bit more alike him ahavas Yisrael loving a fellow Jew on today Gimmel Tammuz his yahrtzeit okay we can begin as we always do with some emails and then we'll dive back into the text we've been learning the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva Rav Shaul Alter so this email begins hi I'm the woman who found the box of stickers in the Pinah Chama some months ago you may remember the story the I love you Hashem say I love you Hashem to put under the mezuzah a woman in Israel who found a box just when she needed it to feel close connected to Hashem there they were those stickers I'm so pleased these stickers have become a real phenomenon they're constant reminder how we should be appreciating Hashem always I tuned into your emuna shiur this morning it was difficult to listen to I heard the emotion in your voice throughout last week we spoke about of course that tragic death of that young girl of Shchar which we'll get back to this morning when I hear these things and all the other sad news I try to find something during the day that will be uplifting and show me that Hashem has got me covered so the long story short of one of my amazing daughters decided to enlist in the IDF at the age of 50 she just completed the second week of her three week training at a base in the center of the country finding it difficult but so worthwhile I'll just add in as a footnote because I've been wanting to say it but I haven't found the right place and this gives me the excuse my 47 year old brother who fought for over two years to get into the IDF he is a rabbi a teacher of Torah and an emergency room physician and he spent over two years fighting to get into the IDF which wasn't easy and they didn't let finally did he's in the middle of his basic training we're seeing pictures and videos of him in his uniform carrying his gun and it is absolutely wild and heroic heroic it's a country of people fight their way in at 47 and 50 years old to let them have the chance and the opportunity to serve mamash unbelievable so she continues her youngest child is almost eight years old and today it was my turn to pick her up from the dance rehearsal for the upcoming competition when I walked into the hall I was greeted by a group of 20 girls wearing t-shirts with the number 23 on them it was so unexpected and lovely thank you for showing me once again Hashem that you're with me all the time picture to follow little one at the end is my granddaughter Nahar should have a lot of nachas from them all that's our Kapital Chaf-Gimmel our Psalm 23 sighting for today absolutely amazing hello again I just cannot resist emailing today for many little reasons I was feeling especially down about shidduchim I try to keep my emuna going and your weekly shiur really helps but today was a particularly tough day for many little reasons I texted my husband and he tried to cheer me up but it was just one of those days when I got home from work there was a card waiting for me from my daughter okay so just to be clear she texted her husband the shidduch she's struggling with is not her own but children in shidduchim I assume. When I got home there was a card waiting for me from my daughter. It's not my birthday or Mother's Day, so I was surprised. She said, \"Just read it.\" She had no idea how I was feeling about my day or anything I was going through specifically. She said she was in Walmart and passed by a card and it simply screamed out at her, she had to buy it for me. The front of it said \"believe\" and the inside said \"hey, there are better seasons ahead. You gotta just keep believing in that and keep believing in you because you are awesome.\" And then she wrote me a little message saying she knows the world of shidduchim is crazy and so emotionally hard but I should keep this message in mind for today and for the future and that I've got this and she loves me. It was crazy. I asked her if she had spoken to Abba, she said that she hadn't. Obviously Hashem put that card in her line of sight at that exact moment for whatever reason she knew I needed it today of all days. It was such a giant wink and nod from Hashem. It calmed me down like nothing else could. Had my antenna not been up, I may have attributed it to a huge coincidence but the shiurim have sensitized me to accept and interpret messages in ways I never would have before. So thank you. The winks, the nods, the love, the hugs from Hashem, just when we need them in big ways and small ways. Our lives are not just a string of random chance events. Our lives are carefully coordinated, curated from above. And when they turn out and come out for the good, oh, thank you Hashem. Unbelievable. I had a row to myself last night on a late flight back that left on time and landed early. I wanted to, I don't know, bring a korban todah this morning, sponsor kiddush this week. It's a miracle. Those are little things but they're not coincidence or random. That's what was meant for you, to have chosen that seat when booking the flight, when everything worked out, it's all from above. And when we live our lives in HD, in high definition, not just in some blurry black and white, but high definition color and you see His hand in hard times and good times, in highs and in lows, it takes away the sting when it's painful and it makes the joy a little bit higher, a little bit holier, a little bit better and we're so grateful to Hashem, so grateful to Hashem for it. I spent some time with Charlotte's parents who are extraordinary, extraordinary people. And there's a lot to share, most of which I won't, some things have to remain holy and private and personal and connections. But their reaction, their response to the loss of an eight-and-a-half-year-old girl, so suddenly, so abruptly, so tragically, so inexplicably is just mind-boggling and inspiring and motivating. And they've used her loss in the short time, we're talking about a little bit over a week, to have launched this campaign called Shalom for Charlotte. Shalom for Charlotte. As I told you last week, the story, the person driving the car that took her life, she was riding a bicycle, the person driving the car was her father's best friend and chavruta. And how they consistently hugged throughout the shivah. On the way home from the hospital after her loss, they stopped at his house to comfort and console him, that this was Hashem's plan and it wasn't his fault. In the morning that her father got up from shivah, he was back in shul learning with his chavruta who was the driver of the car that took her life. This is not normal. You know we spoke about it last week. I'm only repeating it because they started this initiative, we're going to help partner in promoting it as the whole Jewish world should because it's what we need to bring Mashiach. We're in Chodesh Tammuz, the month of Tammuz, and Shiva Asar B'Tammuz, the three weeks are soon coming up. And this, the antidote to sitting on the floor on Tisha B'Av. If we want to finally change our condition in the world, and if we thought we were riding high after three of the worst years because we were defeating and wiping out our enemies and the American president was on our side doing our work, these last couple days have been nothing short of devastating. And the concern, legitimate concern about the future can feel overwhelming. And if we want to change things, we have to finally find a way to get along. And the images of our differences and our protests and they're just legitimate, illegitimate, whatever side you're on on these differences, some of them very important and big, if we don't figure it out, so Shalom for Charlotte, drop the grudge. If they could figure out a way to not hold a grudge, which didn't take them long to figure out that way, if they could not hold a grudge, we can drop whatever grudge. So I mentioned it last week in the shiur and someone wrote me an email. It's with the encouragement on today's emuna shiur that I reached out to a person I was holding a grudge against to renew acquaintances and hopefully resolve. Good for you for having a positive impact on the global Jewish community. It's not me, I just have the camera and microphone to be able to share their extraordinary story. And people left and right are leaving and writing such messages to them. I've received a few from you of that ability to not hold a grudge, to realize everything is from Hashem and to reconcile. That doesn't mean to excuse if people have hurt us or harmed us. There have to be real relationships and reconciliation but don't stand on ceremony. I don't think it's a coincidence, it never is, that this loss and this campaign is really being launched in the week of Parshas Korach. We talked about this in the parsha shiur earlier this week. Korach is the parsha of machlokes, Korach incites such division, he sows such discord among the Jewish people. And Vayakom Moshe, Moshe is entirely in the right, Moshe who's in the injured party, Moshe who has Hashem's ultimate endorsement, Moshe does not stand on ceremony, does not sit back and wait, does not say I'll forgive if he comes to me, let him initiate. Vayakom Moshe, Moshe gets up and he goes, Dasan and Aviram, he initiates and he says, let's let it go, let's figure this out. There's too much, we have too many enemies from without, why are we creating enemies from within? Why? Why? I have to tell you in the rabbinate, there are so many Hashem-made challenges. I don't want to call them natural challenges, from illness and accidents and enemies and there are so many problems. And all of those as a rabbi dedicates my life I can deal with, as challenging as it is whatever my role is. It's the man-made problems that are the really, it's very hard to have patience for. There are so many problems that we can't avoid and that we're working and fighting to change. Why do we have to manufacture more? Why do we have to create man-made problems? Fights and machlokes and division, different organizations, different individuals, different leadership, different power struggles, different why? Man-made problems. Let it go, figure it out, get in a room and don't walk out until you figured it out. You don't have to be best friends with everyone and we can't, but we also shouldn't have this machlokes. Sholom for Sharlo, do it for her and for her neshama. It's who she was I learned and how she lived her life and the difference that she's making and her parents shared extraordinary stories, which I want to move on but I'll just tell you one or two. The night before this accident and she left this world, something she had never done before 18 years old she left her mother a note under her pillow that just told her she's the best mommy in the world. The night before she was going to leave this world, left and wrote that note. She was in third grade when the school dropped off her school supplies. Her mother could barely look at but her father went through hoping to find a sign from Sharlo. His business is in a certain other state in this country and there was a book that they were studying that happened to have a map of the United States and over that state she wrote hello daddy. Still talking, still a map which they both interpret as a wink, a nod, a hug from Hashem with her from above. Again I could every week for the next 10 years tell you stories of this extraordinary and others who are beacons of emuna after their own personal losses. But we have more that we have to learn, I'm just sharing a few because if people with this can go through life and find a way to love Hashem and see Hashem and embrace the hug from Hashem and drop a grudge and be positive not negative and be who they are. I paid a shiva call yesterday. A young woman passed away leaving five children, the youngest four after a long struggle and bout with cancer. And her husband, her brother, her family were saying she was so positive that her rule was you couldn't visit her even at the end and on her deathbed if you were going to cry. No crying and you couldn't come in, no crying, if you were going to cry you couldn't come in because that wasn't her energy or the energy she wanted to be surrounded by. Hers was faith and love in Hashem and her family and the people around her and positivity no matter what and no matter where she was going or what was going to be. There are extraordinary people and extraordinary stories which is why we read these emails each week because we use them as our hotspot and we link onto them and whatever we're going through we can find a way to still be positive and see the good and embrace the hug and thank Hashem even in those moments. Got another email, I'm tempted to go on like I say there is endless to say but to keep moving. Dear Mara D'Asra Shlita, that's the first email I got that said that. Dear Mara D'Asra Shlita. You always spoke during Covid that the Emuna Shiur gave you and listeners the bank account of emuna that was needed. We've spoken, we said a few weeks ago we read the letter from the mother in Israel who experienced the loss, a horrible one and she said emuna is not created in a day. It's over time. If you need to be strong in order to survive a health crisis you needed to have been getting strong beforehand. You needed to have been training and eating right and living well so God forbid that health crisis comes you can come out the other side of it. So we did speak and we do speak often enough, often. You have to work out your emuna muscles so you're strong when we need it. Because if they atrophy, if they die, if we're skin and bone and we have no emuna muscles, then God forbid the challenging moment arrives, and if now we're supposed to first start working out, we're in trouble. So the author writes, I felt the same way today when leaving work for the last day, headed to get lunch before my acupuncture appointment. Hashem blessed me with a flat tire. Lunch done, appointment cancelled, had to find someone to come and replace my tire on an Erev Shabbos nonetheless, not cheap either. Hashem works in loving ways, and without the shiur, without Tehillim Chaf-Gimmel always on my mind, I don't think I would have been so calm and collected. Yes, I was annoyed, hungry, tired, but my first reaction was Hashem, you're funny. Baruch Hashem, tire replaced, car's good, bli ayin hara. Main thing, pump the emuna muscles constantly so when things go astray your emuna is ready to hit 5G. Pump the emuna muscles constantly so when the crisis hits, you are ready to go. Hello Rabbi Gober, thank you for the work and the shiur and Baruch Hashem we got married a year ago. My husband serves in the army, the IDF, he isn't home every week. We've been praying for children for a while. I found myself constantly checking and wondering whether this would be the month that we'd naturally become pregnant. This past month I decided to let go and remind myself Hashem has his plan. I fully trusted if this was the right time for us to become parents, Hashem would make it happen. Baruch Hashem this past Friday we discovered that we are expecting b'sha'ah tovah. Looking back I can clearly see why this is the perfect time. My husband is expected to be home more often, soon we'll be moving to a new place that'll make things easier for me while he's serving in the army. As I begin this new journey I continue to trust Hashem to support me through pregnancy even when my husband cannot always be by my side, to continue guiding us with his perfect plan as we become parents in Am Yisrael. I've been listening to the podcast for the past few months during my workouts. I decided that once we're expecting be'ezrat Hashem I'd finally write to you. Thank you for the chizuk. B'sha'ah tovah, everybody should have good news. Again, instead of being bitter and resentful and why did it take so long, to be able to look back and say it was when exactly when it was meant to be. It was exactly what was meant to be. And parenthetically how many say and point out, it's when they let go and let God, it's when they stop stressing over will they become pregnant that's when it happens. Science also talks about if you can let go, not be as anxious, and it's easier said than done, often that's when Hashem kicks in. A couple more and then we'll dive in. A couple now on shidduchim, hard and painful but also inspiring and motivating. I'd like to share an emuna story with you. I had flown to another state, another city for a first date Motzei Shabbos. It was highly recommended by family friends, so it seemed like quite a promising shidduch. A few hours before the date while walking back from a Shabbos meal, I ran directly past a serious previous relationship. In a city of hundreds of thousands of Jews I passed by maybe a dozen of our people and one of them was her. At the sight of her I became visibly flummoxed, exacerbated—first \"flummoxed\" in an email, got a lot of firsts today—I became visibly flummoxed, exacerbating the awkwardness of the moment. At the time I could not understand why Hashem had me run into my ex, especially on the eve of a new date. After Shabbos, minutes into the date with the shidduch, it became clear there was a miscommunication and we had a completely divergent life plan. That would be one that I think everybody would agree can be a one-and-done. Big debate in the shidduch world whether one-and-done are ever allowed or when you agree to go out it always has to be two. Here someone says miscommunication, clearly we had divergent life plans, and I think everybody would allow that to be a one-and-done. A few days later I returned home and engaged in introspection, hisbodedus, pondering why Hashem had me experience the seemingly futile and uncomfortable affair. In the midst of my quiet communion with Hashem, I see a text on a Bikur Cholim chat I joined a few months ago. It says there's an urgent need for someone to hold a six-month-old baby before the child's surgery because the father needs to go to work. I immediately volunteered as I surmised this may be why I had the whole experience. This was an incredibly unusual request. I had only seen the chat cater to older children. But one of the defining aspects that drew me to my ex was that she spent her nights holding babies who had no one else to hold them in the hospital. I assumed that maybe I had to run into her so I'd be reinspired by her. With haste I moved, only stopping to call my mother, ask her exactly how one goes about holding a baby. My conjecture did not take long to be validated. When I got to the patient's room, I looked up and saw gigantic pink letters spelling out my ex's name staring right back at me. It's an unusual name, and the only room that had a name displayed, so the statistical chance is infinitesimally small. Realizing I was on a truly divinely orchestrated mission, I rushed in. What I saw was like a cartoon character of an overladen father. His phone was pressed between his head and shoulder mid-work conversation as his baby was hooked up to an IV in his arms and was bellowing a great wail. He was squatting up and down hoping it would soothe the child, as beads of sweat formed on his face for the air was sultry on account of a broken AC in the hospital. A broken AC. I was able to provide the reprieve, Baruch Hashem the baby was soothed, and I held him for hours without issue. Later talking to the father I found out the child had issues at birth, was cared for at a different hospital, the one where my past relation... volunteers to hold newborns, so it all comes full circle. Currently, I do not know the status of the infant, but the surgery was considered low risk, I'm waiting to hear back. There's some more details that make this story truly auspicious, but I must omit them to preserve the anonymity of the woman. If everything had not played out exactly as Hashem orchestrated, there would have been no one to relieve a father and care for an infant as a prelude to surgery. As the person assigned the process find my shidduch has been tormentous, tormentous malady on my entire heart and soul, but your words, Rabbi, have been as soothing to me like the waters of the Jordan were to Naaman of Aram. Whoever's going to be lucky enough to marry this guy is going to get the most amazing anniversary cards ever, of all time. This is not AI, I know AI, this is good stuff. This is good stuff. Now you, like I, were hoping that the email would end when he got to the hospital, there was the ex, they knew it was meant to be, they ran off in the sunset and they're married happily ever after. And if you are the ex and you're listening, seems like a really good guy. Maybe, maybe you should give it another shot. I don't know. I don't know. But I actually want to say how extraordinary that his conclusion, his conclusion, we're darshening up all the emails, this is part of the Torah that we're learning together. His conclusion is not: Why did I have to run into her? And if it wasn't meant to be, why reopen that wound? And why am I still in dating, and why am I still miserable, and why did I have to fly out all the way to that other city for someone who everybody would agree is a one and done? Instead, his conclusion is: I'm so grateful I spent the money and flew out and saw her, because seeing her inspired me and I was able to do chesed and hold that baby and help him. And there's no postscript about maybe, maybe she'll open her mind, I hope, maybe. No, his whole interpretation is: I'm so grateful Hashem orchestrated it all so I would be inspired and I can do that chesed and all I have to say is, wow. Wow, what an approach. And here's another one along the same but different lines. Five months ago, I started going out with a boy who from the very beginning I already believed was my husband. Looking back, that was a mistake. I didn't do enough research and I went into the relationship mentally excusing every red flag because the image I had created of him in my mind was so perfect. Okay, we could unpack that whole paragraph about how much is research, what research, to who research, what should you ask? Even when you do, when you date, what are red flags to be looking for? What happens when we go into positive sentiment override, as Dr. John Gottman calls it, so much so that we refuse to see even the obvious signs because we want something to work out so much? But all that's for another time. We dated for five months. In April, he asked me to marry him but then pulled back once we went ring shopping. After that, I started having doubts and questions. We spoke through everything, we decided to continue dating. By the end of May, our parents had met, we picked out a ring for a real time. He came to both of my- came to family events, met my family, extended family, spent Shabbos, I met his family. We did the whole thing, we worked through our issues, and I thought we were set. This week we had three weddings together, we were supposed to go spend a few days with his family. I knew that our vort was scheduled for next week, and I believed we would be getting engaged. Yesterday morning, he asked me to go out for breakfast. When he drove past the restaurant, I was confused. Then he pulled into the park and he said, \"We need to talk.\" At the park he started crying and he told me he couldn't go through with this. I immediately called my mom, walked away. Family members sped over to come and pick me up. When I got home, I cried for hours. My family was in pain, my best friends were in shock. Everybody had been planning the L'chaim and the vort. Later that day, I had no tears left to cry. I found out he had actually been planning to propose to me tomorrow night. Strangely enough, that realization gave me the greatest clarity and the greatest thanks to Hashem. I truly felt a hug and kiss from Him, because if he hadn't ended things yesterday and we had continued moving forward, this would have ended up in a broken engagement because he isn't able to commit, he can't make that jump, and breaking an engagement would have been double the pain. I won't go into every detail. Hashem knew I would never have had the strength to end the relationship myself. I felt stuck, so Hashem ended it for me. And this is the conclusion I came to: Sometimes I think I know what's best for me, when really I have no clue. And that's okay to admit. Hashem's plan will always be greater than my own, and honestly, I find so much comfort in that. Knowing I'm not fully in control isn't scary to me anymore, it's comforting because Hashem is my Father, He loves me endlessly, He wants what's best for me even when I can't see it myself. Sometimes we aren't strong enough or confident enough to make the right decision. Hashem steps in and does it for us. He closes doors so He can open better ones. And even when it hurts and feels confusing in the moment, there's a bigger picture we can't yet understand. Lately, I just feel Hashem giving me the biggest hug and clearest sense of clarity. A reminder nothing is in our control, that's okay. But it hurts, I'm in pain thinking about the months of investment, time, energy, and love I put in, but I know Hashem has so much better waiting for me. And I'm surrounded, thanks to Hashem, with family, friends, teachers. I feel completely enveloped with kindness and support. I don't take it for granted. After months of davening for clarity, I can honestly say I have never seen things more clearly than I do today. Is this not unbelievable? Who are these people? It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. They should come sit... They should come sit in this seat; they are the ones giving the emuna shiur. Yesterday I cried just keeping your Living with Emuna podcast playing. I was reminded we're not in control. No one is. We're all just part of Hashem's plan. This is not just a coping mechanism. This is the emes, emes l'amito, the truth of truths. This is the reality. This is what it's all about. And these people, in these circumstances I've now shared with you some really painful ones, digging deep and finding Hashem in their lives in that moment and being grateful for the clarity that they thought they were too weak to have. Being grateful that it was the day before the engagement, not the day after. Being grateful even in the moment that could be filled with being resentful. Grateful, not resentful. Positive, not negative. Feel a hug, not a patch. All this is possible and these people are proving it to us. And it is extraordinary. Someone else wrote, I have so many emails to write and so many thoughts, but I want to at least write this one. The emuna story you said over of the girl who went out four dates and thought it all made sense and couldn't understand why, I had such a similar experience and it was heartbreaking and crushing. I'd been struggling with not reaching out to the guy or the shadchan since because it just didn't make sense. The insight both you and her gave truly gave me such incredible chizuk. I listened on my way to work. Right now as I was struggling again I remembered just this morning I'm going to relisten to it over and over. When you spend the time, the people who take the time and send in the email, people listen to it over and over again. It gives them the chizuk they need in that or similar circumstances. So please keep sending it. We get back into Rav Shaul Alter, the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva of Aleh Lo Yibol as we continue. The Brisker Rav, the Brisker Rav. There are sheets here if you want to follow and learn inside. If you're listening online, we pinned it to the top of our Emuna WhatsApp group. If you're not in the Emuna WhatsApp group yet, you could always join. Our groups are only growing. We're about to launch many more. So exciting. Here, the Brisker Rav, the great Brisker Rav zt\"l, והיה ה׳ מבטחו הוא שכר על אשר יבטח בה׳. This pasuk that we sing, this beautiful pasuk that we sing, ברוך הגבר אשר יבטח בה׳ והיה ה׳ מבטחו. Blessed is the person who puts their trust in God and God is their trust. So Rav Shaul Alter already shared one interpretation we saw of what this means. But now he expands and gives another from the heilige Brisker Rav, from the great Brisker Rav. That what? When asher yivtach b'Hashem, if you live your life and put your trust in Him. When you were meant to get engaged and you broke, when God forbid a child is inexplicably taken, when you're waiting to get married, when you're waiting to get pregnant, when you're waiting to be able to afford to put food on your table, when you don't know how it makes sense that the person who stood with the Jewish people and Israel more than any other in the recent past could ויקם מלך חדש אשר לא ידע את יוסף. All of a sudden became a new person acting as if he never met us or knew us. And you wonder, Hashem, what's the plan? How does this end? Where does this go? There's a new axis of evil in the Middle East. What's going to be? And in those moments, asher yivtach b'Hashem. In those moments we put our trust in Hashem nevertheless. What's the reward? When we put our trust in Hashem, v'hayah Hashem mivtacho. Hashem becomes trustworthy. שלאחר שהוא בוטח בה׳ אז הקדוש ברוך הוא מראה לו בגילוי איך שהוא ה׳ מבטחו. When we put our trust in Hashem, Hashem reveals to us why He was worth trusting in. When we put our trust in Him, He reveals to us why that was the right decision, why He was worth trusting in, why He's trustworthy. The Sfas Emes מסביר זה בסגנון אחר. The beauty of the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva, he quotes back-to-back the Brisker Rav, the Litvishe, and the Sfas Emes, the heilige Gerer Rebbe. He explains it besignon acher, in another way. שמעתי מאדוני אבי זקני מורי ורבי, says the Sfas Emes, he heard from his zeide. Who's the zeide of the Sfas Emes? The Chiddushei Harim. Sfas Emes heard from his zeide על מה שכתוב ברוך הגבר אשר יבטח בה׳ והיה ה׳ מבטחו כי כפי בטחון האדם בו כן יש לו מבטח באמת. כי כפי בטחון האדם בו כן יש לו מבטח באמת. Hashem's relationship with us is proportional and reactive and reciprocal to our relationship with Him. He is a mirror. When we trust Him, He is trustworthy to us. When we invest in Him, He gives us a return. When we love Him, He demonstrates His love back and it makes sense because Hashem in our relationship with Him is like the relationships we have in life. Relationships are reciprocal. When you demonstrate love and affection, when you prioritize another person, when you're thoughtful to them, then that's how they feel towards you. And when they're an afterthought and you don't concern yourself and you don't meet their needs and you don't prioritize and you're not in touch, then they feel that distance. They're going to reflect that coldness back to you. In our lives, when people are counting on you and you're not there. Then you can't count on them. It's simple. Relationships are reciprocal. כמים הפנים לפנים Shlomo Hamelech taught that our relationships are like the reflection in water. The face that you show is the same face you're going to get back. That's the way relationships work. Just to pile on the long list of tragedies of this week. Jonathan Cohn, Joko, the young man younger than I am who was a friend, passed away after a long fight in Israel leaving behind a young beautiful family. What an incredible Yid. Now outpouring of love for all the lives that he touched, also very very special. Very very special. I am so grateful to Hashem that last week the brother, told you I paid a Shiva call to this young woman who passed away, her brother who flew in from Israel and spent time with her, and he told me about his sister and where she's at, he told me by the way our friend, our mutual friend, Jonathan Cohn is really, so because of that I reached out to him last week and he was back in touch with me and I didn't realize how bad it was all the way at the, at the end. So he was on a, even when he was very sick recently, he was interviewed, and another mutual friend posted this video and he asked him, \"What can people do in your zechus? What can people do in your merit, in your honor, that you have a refuah sheleimah that somehow you bounce back?\" And he looked into the camera and he said, \"Smile. Smile. People will tell you finish Shas, take out a big project, donate huge amounts of money.\" He said, \"All I'm asking you to do is smile. Smile. When you smile other people will smile back at you, you'll bring more light and love into this world, you'll make this world such a better place. Smile.\" He did with his eye patch on and at the end, incredibly special person, filled with love and smiling and connection and was a pillar for others to lean on and his whole life was being a connector. He was just a connector of, of people. Really, really special person. Sometimes it feels like Hashem is just piling it on. So many people, so young, but in each of them there's so many lessons to learn, in them and their families, and the way people react and respond and go on. So smile. Our lives are reciprocal. When you smile at the whole world, the whole world smiles at you. Smile, the whole world smiles at you. When you're happy, when you smile. My grandfather loved that song. He used to sit in his wheelchair and listen to that song. A little bit before my time. I don't even know who sings it. I'm sure now I'll get several emails of people telling me. When you smile, the whole world smiles at you. So smile, the whole world smiles at you. When you smile at Hashem, when you love Hashem, when you invest in Hashem, when you surrender to Hashem, when you see Hashem, when you thank Hashem, Hashem says, \"I feel seen by you, so I will let you see me much more.\" But when I feel invisible to you, when you don't see me, then I'm going to hide a little bit. You're not going to see me as easily. You won't see me. וכן כתב הגמרא בסוטה דף ח במידה שאדם מודד מודדין לו. We have a principle Chazal teach us, b'midah she'adam moded. In the measure, in the way that we relate to Hashem is the way he relates to us. כי בוודאי שהשם יתברך מלא כל הארץ כבודו. Hashem Yisbarach, of course, fills the entire world. בעצם הכל זה הוויה שלו. Hashem's existence, he exposes himself, he reveals himself, he has a dirah betachtonim, he is all over everywhere. He is מלא כל הארץ כבודו. The whole world is filled with his glory. רק שיש הסתר כעניין הגלות שהשפע הולך על ידי מדריגות שפלים. But in this world in which he has a dirah betachtonim, you know, you could be in this world in which everyone could see you, you could be in this world in which you're wearing a ski mask. You could be in this world in which you're front and center, everyone sees you, you could be in this world you're hiding under the table. You could be in this world you're hiding in the back of the room. You could be in this world and you had to have some things removed from your face so you've got bandages or you're walking around like this or you're, nobody can, nobody can see you. Nobody can see you. People have been asking what happened, rabbi? I said it was an anti-Semitic hate crime. They said, \"Really?\" I said, \"Yeah, my wife told me I have to have these things removed from my face.\" Okay, I'm joking, I'm joking, it was a joke. It was a joke. You could be in this world that everyone sees you, you could be in this world and you're going through something where you've got to hide. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu could be in this world, a dirah betachtonim, and everyone can see him, or he could be in this world and he's concealing himself. It feels like he's hiding. You have to play hide-and-seek, it's hard to see him. כמו שכתוב שבזמן הגלות השפע מגיע דרך הגויים ולא כמו שהיה יורד דרך בית המקדש. When there was a Beis HaMikdash, ten miracles happened there a day. When you had doubt or uncertainty you went, and you knew that he was there. And now in galus, dispersed throughout the exile, again the news of these last few days, which I don't want to harp on, Hashem feels like he's hiding. ופירש מדה הוא חיותו יתברך בתוך הטבע שהוא במדה. Mida means a measure. במדה שאדם מודד מודדין לו. With whatever measure we choose to reveal and see and peel away the klipa to expose Hashem is the way he will be revealed to us. מדה זה דבר מצומצם. בעולם הטבע יש הנהגות ועסקים כדומה שהם כולם מצומצמים. כי בעצמותו אין סוף. וכפי האמונה שנמדד לאדם שהכל מהשם יתברך כמה שאדם מצליח להרחיב את המדה המצומצמת לא להישאר במדה המצומצמת של עולם הזה אלא ללכת עם הרחבה יותר כך מודדין לו בהתגלות כפי אמונתו הנ\"ל. I'll translate. What the Sfas Emes quoting his zeide the Chiddushei Harim was saying was teaching is, mida means a measure. Everything is reciprocal and is a measure. And to the degree and to the measure that we invest and reveal and peel away the blockage, the obstacles to see Hashem is the way he would be revealed to us. The cynic, the skeptic, the one who walks around saying 'I don't know if Hashem exists and I don't believe you can see him everywhere, and I think that was just random and coincidental, I can't imagine that was from Hashem,' that person takeh is not going to see the revealed hand of Hashem. And the person who walks around with their antenna extended, the person who walks around with a high-speed connection, the person who walks around always living in high definition, vivid color and is looking to see Hashem will see and feel and find Hashem everywhere. In the good and the bad, in nature and in history, in everything in their life. It is up to us bemida, according to the measure. And that is the choice that we make. We don't always have the choice to determine the outcome and the results of our lives. We can decide if we're going to extend the antenna. We can decide and determine if we're going to live a life looking, looking for him. וכן נראה לי פירוש. And here we come full circle back to Tehillim Chaf Gimmel, just how the Gerer Shivas started this all. And this seems to me is the explanation השם רועי לא אחסר. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack. וכתב בקול שמחה בשם הרבי מנשכיז שלא יחסר לו בבחינת לאמור השם רועי. May I never be lacking and missing in knowing he is my shepherd. שלא יחסר לי את הרועה. May I never be lacking the shepherd. May I always be looking for the shepherd. May I always fall in line with whatever the plan is. Let me stay on the path of the shepherd. May I never wake up as the little sheep who feels 'I'm lost. There's no one in charge, no one in control, I don't know where I am, I'm tired, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry and I don't know where to go.' But instead let me always be the little sheepeleh who says 'I'm part of the flock, I'm moving in the direction of the shepherd and I know the shepherd loves me, is taking care of me and cares about me.' שלא יחסר לי את הרועה. May I never be lacking the shepherd. שנרגיש שהריבונו של עולם הרועה שלי תמיד. I always feel the presence of the Almighty who is shepherding me constantly. ובאמת הפירוש כי אם נשכח זה מאדם נעשה באמת חסרון בהשגחת השם יתברך שהוא על ידי הסתר כנ\"ל. And we need to know what's at stake. If we fail to look and feel and find the shepherd. If we don't care to say 'Shepherd, you go take care of the flock, I'm a sheep on my own. I carve my own path. I find my own water. I know my own direction and destination. I'm a sheep, I'm good to go, I'm on my own, I don't need you.' If we feel that way we won't ever find it and we won't have the shepherd when we need him. When we're lost, when we need to get back on that path. השגחה נעשית יותר מוסתרת. The divine providence, the hand of Hashem will be more hidden. לפי האמת כל מה שיהיה בעולם הוא מהריבונו של עולם. The truth is everything, even then, is from Hashem. But can you see it? In other words, can you connect the dots? Look at the stories we read this morning of people that went through among the hardest things and they've been able to connect the dots. They feel at least they have. They feel they have. 'This is why I went through, this is what I can learn, this is how I'm going to take away.' All because beforehand and all along, earlier and leading up, this is what they were, this is what they were doing. Shos' parents were working on themselves always, but on emuna in particular the last few years, and I'm proud and beyond grateful to say together with us, among other things, and they feel that's what helped them be ready to have what they needed when this happened. If we want to live a life when only good im yirtzeh Hashem, but even those things that are more challenging happen, we have the ability to connect dots and to say 'Where is the good and how can I find the wink and the nod and the hug from Hashem even in that moment and what can I learn and take away,' then it's only if we're looking for Hashem before. Always, no matter what, it's always from him. It's never chance or nature, it's never divorced, it's always from Him. But can we see it? Can we connect those dots? Can we do it in a way that makes sense? Will we walk away empowered? Look וכל כאשר זה בהסתר על האדם להתאמץ יותר כדי לראות שהכל בהשגחה יתברך. When we're going through something and it feels so hidden, we have to lean in closer, we have to look more intensely for His hand. שהדרך להתמודד עם החושך של העולם הזה שאין רואים את אבא מנסה למצוא אותו זה דווקא לזכור שהוא כן קיים וכן נמצא והכיסוי וההלם הוא ממנו יתברך שמו בזמן שנותן לי את הכל. When a person can't see their father and they're looking and struggling to find him, that is davka the time to remember that he exists and that he loves you and that whatever covering is there is from Hashem so you could look further. והוא זה שנותן לי את הכל. Hashem gives us everything גם את היכולת שיש לי. Hashem gives us everything including the ability to want to find Him and then what we need to go find Him. He gives us everything in all that we go through including the ability to find him and to want to find him. Why did I make that comment? I'm asking myself, I'll tell you why. Because the comments I've already gotten, I'm sparing you the emails and the listeners, is everything okay Rabbi? What happened? Did you get punched? That's the only reason even though I overshare and I apologize in public to everyone for mentioning even as a joke anyone who might have been responsible for it. I ask mechila. I don't know, I do overshare, but in addition the reason I overshare is I'm sparing you and me the emails of concern. Baruch Hashem, it's all for, it's all for the good. So we should lean in, השם רועי לא אחסר, the shepherd should lead us on the path. Let's draw inspiration, motivation and chizuk from the extraordinary people and stories that we're sharing. Even though Klal Yisrael, Am Yisrael bichlal in general and bifrat in too many of these specific cases we're going through such a hard time. Always the summer, always the three weeks, always leading up to Tisha B'Av it feels like. Hashem is just, He's given us a reminder, He's waking us up. So chevra, wake up, stop fighting with one another. Shalom, peshara, drop the grudge, a little more love, Ahavas Yisrael. Let's finally get out of this situation, im yirtzeh Hashem, halevai, let's bring Moshiach by Tisha B'Av if not sooner. Let's do it in the memory Gimmel Tammuz today of the Rebbe, and im yirtzeh Hashem we should hear besoros tovos, yeshuos.
