Transcript
Good morning, good morning, boker tov, boker tov. Welcome back to Living with Emuna. So glad and grateful to be together. As always, we begin with our attitude of gratitude and thank our generous series sponsors. First, Dr. Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Shanzer. We remain incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their generosity, for their leadership in Israel, for their special family, for all they do. Series is also sponsored generously, anonymously, in memory of the fallen soldiers and the alumni of בני דוד מכינה ישיבה in Eli, this week highlighting Eli-raz Eliyahu Peretz, who was born in Sinai on Sinai and later moved to Givat Ze'ev, studied at Bnei David before joining the IDF's Golani Brigade in '98. After his brother was killed in combat, he became a career officer and leader in the 12th Battalion, lived in Eli with his wife and four children, and then he was killed at 32 in 2010 fire fight along the Gaza border. Can't imagine his parents and his family, and of course we thank and we learn in his memory. Also today's shiur sponsored by Alice Hershkovitz in memory of Shlomo ben Chaim, that his neshama have an aliyah on his first yahrzeit. Esther and Shmuel Shaiowitz in loving memory of his father יעקב יהודה בן גדליה. By our dear friends, Sarah Sarah Martin Shandelson in honor of the upcoming marriage, looking forward to the wedding tomorrow night of Chana to Yaakov Sachs, looking forward to celebrating together, and by Leslie and Fay in honor of Lisa and Roger returning to Israel. So beautiful. Where are they? Where'd Lisa go? Have a safe and smooth transition. We'll miss you and hope you'll listen Lisa from there. Thank you Leslie and Fay. And this just in off the off the presses, Hertzel and Malki Ginsburg with thanks to Hashem on their recent 28th wedding anniversary and for their five children, Yonatan Yaakov, Tamar Yehuda and Laddi. Sheyihye harbe nachas from their beautiful family and from their children. Next week, baruch Hashem, we have a few weddings in New York, so I won't be here on Wednesday morning. I'm toying with the idea of either just giving the shiur online from my in-laws' kitchen or finding a place in their neighborhood to give the shiur. So if anyone is listening in the Five Towns area and would like to have a shiur together, and then we'll do it from there for everybody, be in touch and maybe, maybe, not definitely, maybe, maybe. We'll see. You never know. Anyway, the wedding the shiur is in memory of Brian Galbut's son Azzi next Wednesday night, im yirtzeh Hashem. We're looking forward to celebrating together, and Sarah Shandelson, one of our sponsors for today who's making a simcha tomorrow night, also shared in an emuna email as she's up there and doing all the wedding preparations with all the hustle and bustle that comes with it. She's at a cafe who has signs all over the cafe about emuna. Before we are born, Hashem shows us our portion in olam haba. Why are we sent down to this world? To get the keys. When you talk to Hashem, no breath is lost. Walk with Hashem, no strength is lost. Wait for Hashem, no time is lost. Trust in Hashem, you're never lost. Lots, lots of emuna signs. Wow. Unbelievable. Everywhere. From a cafe on Main Street in Queens. So there you go, a little plug for Queens. We're not doing the shiur from Queens, but a little a little plug for Queens. Okay, we've got a bunch of emuna emails, we're going to finish up this section of Shaarei Tefila, Rav David Abuhatzeira, and then im yirtzeh Hashem next week, either online, or from somewhere, or we're taking the week off. Gonna keep you in suspense, you don't know yet. And if you think I'm making that choice, you're completely wrong. But anyway, we'll not saying who, not saying who, rhymes with Shmucheved. Not gonna say who's making that decision, like all the decisions in our lives. Okay, a few emails. All right, everybody relax. Also I got a takeaway gift for you. We've replenished the stock. We're going to get to an emuna email about it, to put under your mezuzah or anywhere in your house where you need to remember that Hashem loves you and to say I love you Hashem. Little sticker, put it under the mezuzah and you have it. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I want to take a moment to share something deeply personal about my journey with faith to thank you for the impact the emuna class had on my life. I grew up in Israel, which for me meant living with a constant sense of fear and anxiety. There were many times I rode buses or trains feeling like something terrible was about to happen. Someone might attack, danger was always around the corner. I often got off buses or crossed streets just to escape the overwhelming fear. Back then, I didn't live with faith. I didn't have the perspective that whatever is meant to happen will happen or that I am exactly where I'm meant to be. That idea wasn't even on my radar. Fast forward to today. I can clearly see how much my faith has grown, largely because of our Living with Emuna shiur. Recently I was selected to serve on a grand jury. Not a jury, a grand jury. I did everything I could to get out of it, but all my objections were denied. Out of 120 people, only 20 were ultimately chosen and my number was the very first called in the final raffle. It felt undeniable that Hashem wanted me to be there, even though I didn't understand it at the time why. I think I'm beginning to understand now, even though the experience isn't over yet. Sitting on that jury has meant being exposed to some of the most horrific realities. Cases involving murder, abuse, violence, and more. Things that in the past would have completely shaken me, and yet, I've noticed something remarkable. I'm able to cope. I can go home and sleep at night. I'm not constantly looking over my shoulder in fear. It's honestly incredible to me to hear such painful disturbing stories and still be okay. Stories that once would have left me traumatized, hiding, living in fear, now I feel steady, not numb but grounded. I truly believe it's because I've learned in our shiur that even when we are exposed to the harshest realities, we don't have to live in fear. The biggest clarity I've gained is that whatever is meant to happen will happen, regardless of where I am, what country, city, or situation. That understanding has changed everything for me. When I really reflect on it, I realize this calmness comes from the emuna I've been building, this understanding that everything comes from Hashem, even when it's difficult to comprehend. That awareness has brought me to a sense of peace and stability I never had before. Instead of living in fear, I feel grounded, I feel heard. Thanks so much for teaching, sharing this perspective. It's had a profound difference in my life I can't fully express. So beauty, you see again the power of emuna to overcome and navigate. Yocheved and I were at a wedding last night. I had the zechus of officiating a wedding. This is a couple who he has been in and out of the army in Israel. They grew up in our community, by the way, both of them. Teenagers had a crush on each other but neither expressed it till later and found each other and then she moved to Israel to get married. They were supposed to get married twice in Israel over the last couple months and each time it got delayed and canceled because of the war till finally decided to just come back and do it here where their friends and family are. 20 people last night on the beach. It was beautiful. And of course, I started the chupa by saying that they are where they're meant to be and they're with the people who are meant to be here. And I wasn't saying that because who am I to say that, that's the attitude they both had. And you can see, you know, it could be an incredible disappointment that you had all these plans and they were delayed twice and this was your one day and hopefully the only one you'll ever have your whole life and yet it got so changed, so different than what you planned. 20, 25 people on a beach. It was but their attitude is absolutely incredible. And when you live with emuna, when you realize that Hashem, he's the one, he's the conductor and we're just in the orchestra and he's making the plans and we're on an adventure called life, we can navigate. From a wedding that's moving venues to a grand jury that in the past would have thrown us for a loop to being able to sleep at night. I'll share in the group I wrote my article this week, I just wrote up what we were learning of David Abuchatzeira. We say הנה לא ינום ולא יישן שומר ישראל, Hashem neither slumbers nor sleeps, the guardian of Israel. We repeat that sentence three times in קריאת שמע על המיטה. We close our eyes, shlof gezunt. Why? That is the ultimate sleep aid. One in three Americans, millions of Americans suffer from insomnia, can't sleep at night, and they're taking melatonin or lechaim or prescription medication, none of which are good solutions long-term for people. Or they simply lie awake at night, looking at the clock all night. And we said, just הנה לא ינום ולא יישן. Hashem, it's an image. I got several emails, that's why I wrote the article, one of which I read last week, of people who said since we shared that teaching, it's not mine, since we shared that teaching, now before they go to sleep, they literally picture that, they feel Hashem's touch. They feel his hand on their shoulder, they feel him closing their eyes and saying, go to sleep, my child. I got it. I stay up all night so you can sleep. Whatever you're worried about, I'm holding you in my hand. There's a plan, it's not random, it's not chance. Stop worrying, close your eyes, rest, relax, sleep well because I'm holding you. One woman sent me, she wears one of these things, which by the way, I'm not weighing in on other than to say it's ridiculous, but I'm not weighing in on it. I'll tell you why. You could google it yourself, but all the studies are now showing that the people who wear all these monitors doesn't make them actually eat better, sleep better, live healthier, just makes them neurotic and anxious about how little sleep they're getting and how poorly they're eating and all the things that aren't going well. All it does is confirm for you what you woke up, that you didn't sleep well. You know. In any case, but she sent me the report from her monitor that since she's going to sleep and saying הנה לא ינום ולא יישן שומר ישראל three times and picturing Hashem saying שלאף געזונט מיין קינד, sleep well, my child, close your eyes, you can sleep well because I'm staying up all night, I'm your shomer. It shows the sleep improvement on her monitor, how dramatically improved her sleep is. I can't guarantee it'll work for everybody and I'm not saying you should feel guilty or ashamed if you still need one of the other sleep aids. All I'm telling you is try it. Leave your pill in the bottle one night. Leave your drink in the bottle one night. Leave your insomnia on the counter one night and instead, hinei lo yanum, say that pasuk like you mean it. Feel Hashem's presence and picture it as you're falling asleep, picture him stroking your cheeks, go to sleep, I got it, I'm going to sit on your bed, I'm watching you, I'm here all night, I've got you, I've got you. And then thank me later. Okay, Dear Rabbi Goldberg, hope all's well with your family, greetings from Cincinnati. I recently read the novel Bleachers by John Grisham. You can find it, you can feel it, you can see it even when you least expect it. Like the next person, I was having a blah day, gloomy here in New England, no comment, Boston, and I went to Trader Joe's to do my shopping. Celtics, three-one lead, knocked out. Bruins, Patriots coach problems, Red Sox in last place, can it get any better? Sorry, I can't help myself. As I was checking out, I see a guy wearing a Lakers jersey. Wearing a Lakers jersey in Celtic-land is pretty brave. It could be a pikuach nefesh sha'ilah. But it's fun to see one out and about since we lived in LA before moving to Massachusetts. The number on the jersey? You got it, twenty-three. I don't care about the sport, but it lifted my spirits and a nice reminder. Okay. Here's a different reminder. Typically when I go for a walk each day, I listen to news podcasts to stay up to date on what's happening in Israel. A few weeks ago, though, because it was Shabbos, please no judgment, I decided to take a break from the news and try something different. I searched for Jewish and your podcast came up. I haven't stopped listening since. Okay. Three days I may not know what's happening in the Straits of Hormuz, but I can honestly say I feel more joyful and at ease. I credit that to the Emuna podcast. I especially love the emails you read in class so I decided to share my own. Recently I took our twins' younger son on a tour of a highly recommended college. Right away I understood why they belong there. It was easy to fall in love with everything about the school. There weren't just one but two Jewish fraternities and active Hillel, two synagogues, a large Jewish student body. After October 7th, finding a place where our boys would feel safe and supported has become my top priority. This school seemed to pass that test. I love that the people who listen and learn Emuna are an incredibly diverse audience. From people who might be listening on a day or time that we wouldn't expect or encourage, to someone else wrote me an email this week and then followed up with an email that said, by the way, I'm a Chasidisha lady living in Lakewood, just so you know how far the reach of the Emuna shiur. So you have a wide spectrum and a diverse audience and what it tells me is nothing about me, what it tells me is everything about what people need and what people are looking for. And it doesn't matter what world you're from or what education you have or what community you're part of, people are looking for more, are looking for more, which is why we're gonna work hard to try to expand and provide our community and our movement. In any case, back to the email. Since my husband died many years ago, I've come to rely deeply on my relationship with Hashem while raising our boys alone. Ours is a unique partnership. I often find myself talking or yelling at Him in the car, while grocery shopping or anytime I'm alone. But it's always been a one-way conversation. Had I ever heard God answer me back, I probably would have questioned my mental health. During the campus tour though, I tried something new. As we sat listening to a panel of faculty and students, I quietly asked God for a wink or hug as you describe it, a sign this was the right place for the boys. I'm used to venting, not asking for an answer, so I asked God for a turtle. Turtles have a special meaning in my brother's family. After my brother died a few years ago, my sister-in-law found comfort in seeing turtles because he used to stop and move them out of the road whenever he saw them holding up traffic. Since then my sister-in-law says that seeing a turtle felt like a small but meaningful connection to him. Back to my story. When the panel ended and we walked out of the auditorium to begin the tour, we were greeted by loud unexpected music. Neil Diamond, Sweet Caroline. I remember thinking that only the midlife woman on the tour were enjoying the music. I smiled and started to sing along, I've always been a fan. And then our youngest interrupted my song. Look Mom, there's a giant turtle. I turned and there it was. A large turtle statue outside one of the buildings. Almost identical to the one our boys used to climb at the local zoo. I burst into tears. I cry just thinking about it now. Hours later, however, doubt began to creep in. The wink had come, but was it real? Wanting reassurances, perhaps a bit greedy, I asked for another sign. When nothing came, I started replaying the day in my mind wondering if I had missed something, and then it hit me. Sweet Caroline. When I was pregnant with our twins, my husband surprised me with tickets to Neil Diamond, Madison Square Garden. How could I have forgotten? That song wasn't random. It wasn't background. noise. It was the wink, and the turtle was the hug. After the tour, as we were getting ready to leave, I felt a nudge to make one more stop. We pulled up and I explained to the boys what Chabad is and what their role is on their college campus, then somewhat boldly we crashed their Shabbos lunch. A young boy who happened to be a twin, another small nod from God, opened the door and welcomed us. We met the young Chabad couple and students who had stayed after the meal; we learned more about Jewish life on campus. They even ran into an alum from their current high school. When we finally left, our oldest turned to me and said that visit to Chabad was even better than the school tour. I don't know if the twins will ultimately be accepted, and if they are, I don't know how I will possibly afford to send one, but I feel at peace. If it's meant to be I'll find a way with Hashem's help, I always do. And I also know that wherever they end up, they now know that they'll always have a place, a welcoming Jewish home waiting for them at the Chabad house. Heartfelt gratitude for the podcast. Anyway, very diverse audience, people see signs. Imagine if we can awaken the world to look for winks and nods from Hashem. Can you imagine the consciousness and the mindfulness, how awake and alive and intentional we'll be? We're on day 16, 17 of our technology challenge. Who's in it? I don't even remember what day we're on; I'll assign it to the time I post it. But whatever day we're on and we're trying to get off our phones. Can you imagine instead of walking around like zombies, scrolling and typing and looking down, we're looking up. Hashem, how are you talking to me? That guy in a jersey, that turtle, that who knows what way Hashem is talking to us just when we need it. He's talking to us all the time. The question is: are we listening? Question is: are we listening? Imagine a life, imagine a world, imagine how much better we would feel if we saw and knew that He was talking to us. Hi, Rabbi Goldberg, I've been hesitant to share this story; it's been a couple of months since it happened, maybe there's a reason why I decided to share it now. I had a miscarriage in December at 10 and a half weeks; it was extremely difficult. I have fertility issues and I got pregnant spontaneously with this baby; to lose it was really difficult. I'm not a fluffy person; I like logic and learning the text. I felt like I was drowning though. One day I went to get my nails done because I needed a break. I never listened to Living with Emunah before, at least not purposely. I pulled up my phone before my manicurist started and I put on a shiur on Spotify. My nails were in the middle of being done when the shiur ended and Living with Emunah somehow turned on. I tried to change it, but my nails were wet and I wasn't able to. I decided to just listen, and lo and behold there was a story about a miscarriage and a couple that was able to move forward and trust Hashem through it all. I took it as a message from Hashem; He's been holding my hand through it all. I'm now back in fertility treatment and trusting Hashem in the process. I listen to Living with Emunah every week now. I hope you're getting a manicure every week with it. And I'm trying to feel Hashem holding my hand every day. Hashem is on my team and even through the challenge, I'm learning that. Thank you so much. Isn't Hashem amazing? You can try to change the podcast, but Hashem is going to make your nails wet. He's going to keep your nails wet and you're not going to be able to. When you're meant to hear, you're meant to hear. He's the greatest; He's the one who puts it on. Come on, you've been with me for a long time. How many emails began with: I never heard of you, I never heard of this, all of a sudden it was on my Spotify. He's amazing. He's the greatest DJ, Hashem. He's the greatest, even when your nails are wet. We daven for her and all those, all those who are wishing, longing, hoping for children, Hashem should bless them. All those who are looking to be married so they can start their family, Hashem should bless them. Hashem should bring in the right time, the right people, should bring the right babies, should give only simchas and celebrations, should give only good things for everybody. We could spend our entire day reading these emails, Baruch Hashem. Maybe a couple more and then we'll get go. We got another license plate one. Someone, just when they needed it, saw the license plate in front of them, not Psalm 23 for those who are sick and tired of that, but a person who was down and out, the car in front of them, the license plate holder says: Smile, God loves you. Imagine, you're driving, you're down and out, you're feeling bad for yourself, you're feeling all alone, you look up and on a billboard, on the license plate in front of you flashing, Hashem is sending again, if your antenna is extended, if you're picking up the signal, if you can get off your farkakte phone, if you can complete the technology challenge not for 30 days but the rest of your life, if we can just look up. Here we are saying: Hashem, send me a sign. He's like: Hello, look up! Just look up! Turn off your phone and look up and I'm sending you the sign. There it is: God loves you, on that license plate just in front, just in front. Same person who sent me the license plate, number two: I'm a nurse and was admitting a patient in the middle of the night when I noticed she had a rose tattoo with her name and some numbers. Trying to spark some conversation as my co-workers and I did an EKG, I asked her about her tattoo. What were the numbers? Psalm 23 and 27. Funny enough I smiled to myself thinking I actually have a 23 sighting, send it in. She told me her top three Psalms are 23, 27 and 91, and that's why those numbers were tattooed on her arm. I couldn't help but agree. There it is, God sending another sign to this nurse in the middle of the night, Psalm 23 sighting, tattooed on someone's arm. Hashem has all kinds of ways of sending signs. Unbelievable, unbelievable. Ami Goldberg, really enjoyed the shiurim and appreciate you posting them for free for all to listen. I like that point. Let's reiterate. Allow me to re-read that sentence. I appreciate you posting them for free for all to listen and gain from. I live in Israel, hope to one day be able to attend the shiurim live in person. I truly enjoy the living of emunah and listen weekly. Today I had a little frightening experience throughout the whole thing I kept comforting myself with lines from the shiur. One moment from today was a true hug from Hashem made it clear to me I need to send you an email. Past few days my baby was sick with a fever, I didn't think anything of it. Today was day three of the fever, I thought I'd have to go to the doctor, make sure it was nothing more. The appointment, the examiner and said she had an ear infection, but it could be more serious. He said be extra cautious, cautious to be sure, take her to the ER to get checked out. Suddenly my normal day was flipped upside down. I called my husband shaking, told him what the doctor said. We went straight to Shaare Zedek. Happens to be my brother is an ER doctor there. I wonder if he was the doctor. Korei hadavar, I was shaking and crying, but I knew I had to be strong. It's just something precautionary, had to be done. I didn't know what kind of tests they had to do, all I keep thinking is Hashem loves me, He's taking care of me. We got to the hospital, went to the children's ER. It was a scary place to be, I couldn't believe I was there. I kept reminding, Hashem is in charge, my daughter's going to be okay. We got in line, check in. When it was my turn, suddenly a mother ran with her son who was crying in pain. I ushered her to go in front of me, and she did. I thanked Hashem we were here only to do precautionary tests, and baruch Hashem my daughter was pretty calm. When it was my turn, I handed my papers to the secretary and noticed something incredible. I had to blink twice to make sure I was seeing clearly. A small sign hung up on the wall next to her desk that read נא לומר אני אוהב אותך השם. אני אוהב אותך השם. Say, I love you God. Right then and there I knew for certain my daughter was going to be okay. I had heard about these signs in your shiur, but I never saw them. I didn't even know they were in Israel. I thought they were only available in America. And here I was in Shaare Zedek Hospital, staring at the sign at the exact moment I needed it. I felt Hashem giving me a huge hug. When I left reception, I went back to my baby and husband with tears in my eyes. I told them about the sign, how I knew about it from the shiur. The rest of our time, I felt calmer than before. The doctors were just a messenger from Hashem. We had a kind doctor, he was patient and spoke English. Maybe it was... I'll have to ask... Well, he won't tell me even if it was. Chasdei Hashem our little baby was completely fine, they said it was just an ear infection, nothing more. He looked good, just needed antibiotics. We left the hospital after only two hours, got sleep in our home that night. I don't know why Hashem put us there that day, only know today was a total emunah booster for me. I'll never take for granted again going to a doctor's appointment, going home afterwards with a simple everything looks good. We don't know what Hashem has in store, we need to remember in every situation He loves us. And then I said right back to Him, I love you too, Hashem. Thank you for helping me grow with emunah. After the shiur, anybody wants, thank you again to Julie Ehrlich, please take and put it wherever you like, that will be meaningful for me. I got a couple more, but I'm going to save them, including an incredible one that's just a little long, so I'm going to save it, maybe next week. Maybe not if we're not on. A dear friend of my sister shared. Coincidence, providence, and remembrance, a Yom Hazikaron story. It's amazing, but it's a little bit long and I want to finish our text today, so we will share, but we're going to hold on to it. We're on page kuf mem aleph. We are in the home stretch of finishing of David Abuhatzeira's Shaarei Tefillah, the section on tefillah ruchaniyus, and the thesis, the theme of this entire perek that we've been learning is that we don't just daven for gashmiyus, we don't just ask Hashem for things, for material things, a house and a car and a livelihood. But we ask Hashem for spirituality, for faith, for closeness to Him, kirvas Elokim. We ask Hashem for growth, for spiritual well-being, for emotional health. And in fact, even when we ask Hashem for things, the right way to couch it, the right way to present it is not that we want things, we want the things so we can best serve Him. Hashem, if I'm going to be, if I'm going to work for You, I need an expense account. How am I meant to do my job? How can I be Your ambassador agent? How can I fulfill my mission and my purpose if I don't have the tools I need? If I'm not mobile, if I'm not healthy, if I'm not well, if I don't have a roof over my head, if I don't have a car, how can I serve You, how can I serve You? So we most often mistakenly don't think of it that way. We think: what are we davening for? We daven for health and wealth and we daven for things, but really we're supposed to daven for ruchanyus, and even though it seems paradoxical, counterintuitive, if you're struggling with faith, why would it make sense to daven for faith? If you're struggling about davening, why would it make sense to daven that I can daven better? It's paradoxical and counterintuitive. And yet it works. It works, just try it. And then we were talking about the mezuzah. I hope people have been doing their homework, stopping and pausing when you go in and you come out, again, look up off that phone. You're going to have to add it to the challenges. Never be on the phone when going in or out of your house. Stop instead and touch that mezuzah and remember the values and the ideals, the spirit of compromise, the unity of Hashem, the gratitude for what we have, she'amar l'olamo dai, shin, dalet, yod, the name of Hashem on the outside of the mezuzah. What I have is what's for me, is what's meant for me, what I have is enough, genug, I'm satisfied and gratified. And on the inside, the name י-ה-ו-ה, which is to broaden, to expand, more. I want more ruchniyus, a bigger mission, more purpose. That's what I want. And it's those names that are not in tension or contradiction but they complement one another. On the outside of the mezuzah, Shaddai, she'amar l'olamo dai. What I have is enough as I walk into my home or out of it. I'm going to work hard and take initiative and effort, but ultimately what I have is what's meant for me, and I'm able to be happy with my lot. But at the same time, I'm not going to give up or become complacent or become compassive, or become passive to my destiny, but rather I'm always going to yearn and grow, be ambitious and have great aspiration. וזה אפשר לתרץ הסתירה. And now we're up to וזה אפשר לתרץ הסתירה שבפסוק המלאכה הייתה דיים לכל המלאכה לעשות אותה והותר. Parshas Pekudei. Parshas Pekudei the Torah tells us after Moshe completes soliciting for the mishkan. This is the only capital campaign ever in all of history. The only capital campaign in all of time that not only did they raise and meet all of their goals, they cut off the campaign. We're not taking any more money. Never again, never replicated, never duplicated, never repeated. V'hamalacha hayta dayam, it was enough l'chol hamalacha la'asot v'hoter. And there was extra and they cut it off. she'nira she'soseh dvarim, d'im hamalacha daya. If what they had was enough, mahu v'hoter? The word v'hoter means extra. So if it was dayam, dayam, dai means exactly enough, right on target, right on budget, perfect. V'hoter means extra. So which is it? Was it enough or was it extra? שמשמעו שעוד נותר ממלאכת המשכן. אך לפי דברינו יבואר שממלאכת המשכן נלמד הבסיס בעולם הזה נשרה שכינה בינותינו. From here we can see the formula for how we can get Hashem to dwell among us. After all, the mishkan is a house of God. The mishkan is a place of intense presence and dwelling of Hashem. Who lives in the mishkan? What's the name mishkan? It's a house for the Shchina. As we've learned many times, that name of God, Shchina, what's the root of that name of God, Shchina? Shachen. What does the word shachen mean? Neighbor. God's your neighbor. Like a good neighbor, God's there for you. God is the ultimate good neighbor. He's the ultimate good neighbor. What is a neighbor? Available, accessible, adjacent, reliable, dependable, loyal. Hashem is a shachen, meaning on the one hand, Hashem is far off, He's in the heavens, He's distant. He's perfect, He's infinite, He's omnipotent. But lest you think He's so far off He doesn't know, He doesn't care, He's not involved, He's not invested, He says, 'Hey neighbor, I live right next to you. I live among you. I'm right there with you.' He's able to be in both simultaneously and it's not a contradiction. The mishkan was that place where you could feel the Shchina, that He's our shachen. And if we want Him to be our shachen, if we want the mishkan, if we want Shchina in our lives, then this is the winning formula. How? In what way is it a formula? How is it not a contradiction? Which is it? Hamalacha hayta dayam. Was it exactly enough? Or was it v'hoter? Which is it? שתי דרכים יש להנהגתו של אדם. There are two ways that a person can live life. Ha'achas, dayam, שבבינייני עולם הזה והגשמיות יש לו להשתמש במידת דייה שדי לו במה שיש. When it comes to the physical material, what I have is enough for me. I work hard, I try, but whatever it is in the end, I'm good. I'm not jealous, I'm not envious, I'm not angry, I'm not bitter, I'm not resentful. There are people who live life and they look, they are competing, they are comparing constantly, and it robs them of happiness. Envy is some famous quote about this, I forgot what it is at the moment. Envy is what robs you of happiness. What's that quote? Anyone remember? Where's my fact checker? But jealousy and envy are exactly what rob a person of happiness. When you're looking out the window in your house to see... When you're looking out the window in your house to see what your neighbor has, you miss what's under your nose, what's in your house all along. When you're living your life competing, comparing with others, and you wish, why don't I have that spouse? Why don't I have those children? Why don't I have that car? Why don't I have those clothes? Why don't I have that jewelry? Why don't I have that job? Why don't I have those talents? Why don't I have that position in the community? Why don't I have that name? Why don't I have those followers? Why don't I have that? If you live your life constantly competing and comparing with others, you'll never find happiness yourself. It robs us of happiness. And when you look around and you live life and you say, dai, dai. I'm good. What I have is what's meant for me. I'm good. It's okay to want more to be ambitious and have drive, it's okay to work hard, but after the work is done, after you've channeled that drive and your work is done, now what you have, that's what's meant for you. You're good. That's it. די לו במה שיש ואל יכסוף ליותר מכך מבחינת איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו. And don't be angry, don't be embarrassed, don't be resentful, don't be bitter, because in the end of the day, wealth, איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו. One of the most brilliant, one of the greatest insights our rabbis ever had. There's nothing more true than this is that real wealth is not money or assets or net worth, real wealth is happiness. Real wealth is joy. It's joy. איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו. I met yesterday, still trying to complete our campaign, I met yesterday with somebody who's worth multiple billion, with a B, billion. Remarkable, incredible, generous philanthropist in many other ways. Whether something will come of it or not I don't know, I'll tell you this just as an aside, on the way there Hashem and I had our usual conversations before. I can't wait until we're done. Some rabbis live for this and love this, I hate this, it's a necessary evil. If you have dreams and you want to get things done, unfortunately there is no other choice. There is no other choice, so that's my mission, my mandate. I'm not at all bitter about it, but I don't enjoy it and I can't wait to be done, at least with this phase of it. But I had my usual conversation with Hashem that wherever he's going to provide it from he will, if he wants it to happen it will, I don't... this entire journey and process, I'm not emotionally invested. In the past I used to be, but now I'm not. I'm not emotionally invested. If the person I meet with doesn't speak to them, they're not interested in helping, no problem. If Hashem wants it to happen it'll happen from somewhere else. And if they don't get the merit of being part of it, I'm sure they're doing other wonderful things with it. So it doesn't bother me. My job, my hishtadlus, my initiative, my effort is to put it in front of them. Whether it's right for them... so therefore I don't get nervous or anxious or worried, it's just my job. I have to do my hishtadlus. And I can't tell you how often, we've learned about this many times in the past, that hishtadlus, initiative and results, most often don't correlate. Most often don't correlate. I've quoted to you countless times a family member of mine who every now and then wants to drum up business for himself, so he networks, he emails, he makes a trip to go meet with people, and invariably he describes that a short time afterwards business flows in, and it's not from any of the people that he met with. Hashem set up such a world that we have to take initiative. We can't sit back, we're not spectators to our own life. He doesn't step in, we have to take initiative. We stood opposite that sea and Hashem said \"What are you davening? Start walking.\" And he tells us stop sitting back, start walking. We have to take initiative. But initiative often doesn't correlate with the results. I had an incredible story recently with that that I'll save for another time. Somebody I was trying to help, I made several introductions for him, none of them panned out. Then he was sitting in my house when someone unexpectedly showed up at my door, came in to borrow something, doesn't live in our community, was visiting from elsewhere, and I said \"Huh, you know what? You two should really meet.\" And now they're doing business together. All the efforts I made in the introduction didn't go anywhere, but then Hashem sent the exact perfect and right person. We have to take our initiative and where the results come from I don't know. So when I went to her house, I was grateful for the opportunity, but I wasn't worried or anxious or nervous or depending on it or what happens if it doesn't work. Hashem, I'm doing my part, and I know now that even if her answer ultimately will be no, there's a good chance that I asked yesterday and someone else is going to call next week and say \"By the way, I want to be part of this project.\" That's the way Hashem set up the world. Why am I telling you this? Because this incredibly special person, don't try to guess or figure out who it is, and no, I'm not introducing you to them, so this incredibly special person is older and had a health issue and whose memory is challenged. And she shared with me she struggles to remember things, and even in the same conversation that became evident. Each time I forget, I don't care. I've chosen to just be happy. I've chosen to be happy. And I left thinking, first of all, what a remarkable person and what a wonderful attitude. And I said this to her, I said, by the way, when something when you don't care, it can't bother you. If you make the decision that whatever's missing in your life, including your memory, including forgetfulness, if you've decided that you won't be frustrated each time that you're reminded that you forgot, that that's not going to get you upset and angry and frustrated, if you've made the decision that you're going to let that go and not let it bother you, then it can't bother you. Which means you're in control in deciding what bothers you and what doesn't. And I left with many thoughts. Grateful for the opportunity, asking Hashem let it be, have a favorable answer. Thinking you could have billions of dollars in the bank, but you can't bring back your memory. And you can't buy happiness. That's a choice you make. That's a choice you make. There's no currency, there's no bank account, there's no Zelle or Venmo to buy happiness. You can't buy the choice to be happy. It's a choice, not an emotion. It's a choice, not an emotion. And that's what Rav David Abuhatzeira is telling us. איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו, our rabbis taught, who is the really wealthy one? It's not your net worth in billions. You could have one dollar in the bank but you choose to be happy. You put on a smile and you have a positive disposition and while you're fighting through whatever it is you're fighting through. And I don't mean to minimize people's problems, including in this room, because it's hard. The daily grind of seeing an empty bank account and not knowing how you'll pay the bills. The daily grind of the next doctor's appointment and not knowing what the next lab result is going to show. I'm not minimizing in the least the daily grind of the next date and waiting and not knowing, will this be the one? The daily grind of the next pregnancy test and wondering when finally your dream will be fulfilled. I'm not minimizing it in the least. But what I know is being bitter and angry and frustrated and disappointed never was the solution. If anything it only or often compounds the problem. And there are incredible examples of people who despite it can put a smile on their face. Choose, not wait for the emotion, but make the choice to smile. The choice to smile. I just saw an article, again no judgment at all, but in the effort to get Botox and try to stay looking young, which may or may not work, I have no comment on, but when a person eliminates their ability to smile, they're eliminating and lowering their ability to feel happiness. Because it turns out when you smile, you're engaging micro-muscles in the face that are connected to the brain that release chemicals that bring happiness, endorphins and chemicals that make you happy. So in the effort to look young, because you think it'll make you happy, you paralyze your face so you can't smile, which is what would make you happy. If you want to feel pleasure, you want pleasure and to feel pleasure, you need to be able to smile. And if you paralyze, self-inducing paralysis to the face, then it makes it harder. Again, no comment, no judgment, I'm just sharing what I read. Eizehu ashir. If you really want to be rich and you want to look young and you want to be happy, it's not about anywhere you go or any shot you take, it's about a choice you make. It's about a choice to make. That impressed me the most more than anything about that home or that bank account, was she said, \"I forget things now because of my condition and you know, it bothered me at first, but now I choose to not let it bother me\" with a smile. I was blown away by that. That's what makes her incredibly wealthy. That's what makes her incredible wealth. Nothing about the house or the driveway, nothing about that, that's what makes her wealthy. Ve-ilu, that's when it comes to material, physical, this world. Bless you. Ve-ilu bederech hashniya והותר יש להשתמש לענייני שמיים, תורה וקדושה, שבזה לא יסתפק באשר כבר השיג, אלא תמיד יכסוף וישתוקק למעלה גדולה ממה שנמצא בה עתה, שלצורך זה נברא הטבע בעולם, שישתוקק להוסיף עוד ועוד במלאכת הקודש. That's what the pasuk's telling us. והמלאכה הייתה דים והותר. On the one hand, I have everything. On the other hand, I'm just getting started. I'm just beginning. I don't have anything yet. Ah, that's a contradiction. How could it be both at the same time? Which is it? Do you have everything or are you just getting started? Which is it? Which is it? Says Rav David Abuhatzeira, it depends. When it comes to this world, when it comes to things, when it comes to this life, then I have everything. I'm choosing to be happy. But when it comes to my connection to Hashem, my mission, my mandate, my purpose, when it comes to my soul, my neshama. just getting started. You haven't seen anything yet. We're just getting built. It's unbelievable. That's what a person has to feel, doesn't matter your age or stage of life. Doesn't matter. As you know, we just celebrated an extraordinary person's 102nd birthday on Shabbas. We marked the 89th anniversary of his Bar Mitzva. The 89th anniversary of his Bar Mitzva and he belted out the Haftorah louder than most Bar Mitzva boys on their 13th birthday. My son whose Bar Mitzva's this year, you couldn't even hear. Rabbi Fox, nobody had a problem. Kein ayin hara, bli ayin hara, זאל זיין געזונט און שטארק for many more years, many more years to come. At 102, yes, Rabbi Fox is just getting started. He sits at every shiur, he learns like he's a young bochur. And if you ask him, Rabbi Fox, could you give a dvar Torah at the Shiva house? No problem. At 102, he's just getting started. It doesn't matter your age or stage of life. Vehoseir, my next davening, my best davening has not yet happened. My best learning has not yet happened. My best chesed, my best tzedaka, my best moment as a husband, a wife, a mother, a father, it hasn't yet happened. Vehoseir, I'm just getting started. Spiritually, my neshama, my ruchniyus, my emuna, my bitachon, I haven't even started yet. You haven't even seen me yet. You have no idea what I'm gonna become, the best and better version of me. אשרי אדם שזכה מנצל כוחותיו לטוב ורוחניות אך אם חלילה וחס לא זכה מנצל זאת לחולין. Fortunate, blessed is the person who merits and saves their strengths and their talents for good and for the pursuit of ruchniyus. Otherwise, God forbid, wastes them and squanders them and allows them to be profane. כדרך שאמרו חז\"ל לא נברא אדם אלא לעמל אם זכו עמל בתורה ואם לא זכו עמל בארץ. We're all gonna toil. Our life is all about the effort and the toil. Are we gonna toil in Torah? Are we gonna toil in making the world a better place? Are we gonna toil in redeeming and repairing it? Are we gonna toil in purpose and mission? ואם לא זכו עמל בארץ אשריו לאדם שהוא עמל בתורה ואז נאמר והיה אם שמוע תשמעו אל מצוות השם אלוקיכם אשר אנכי מצווה אתכם היום ונתתי מטר ארצכם בעתו. כלומר אמנם יש לאדם לעמול בעבודת האדמה כמו שכתוב בזעת אפיך תאכל לחם אבל אם שמוע תשמעו אל מצוות השם נצא ידי חובת העמל בעמל התורה והמצוות. We're gonna be working in life. Nobody does it come easy. Everybody's gonna have to make effort, everybody's gonna toil, everybody's gonna work. The question is will our work be empty, void, or leave a hole in our heart? Will the work that we're doing be to navigate a crazy world with a sense of emptiness and to numb ourselves with all kinds of things that are not good for us? Or will our work be toiling in emuna and bitachon Hashem, what's my mission, my mandate, what's my next purpose, my next assignment, how do I make the world a better place, what's my next dream even if I have to raise money for it? We're gonna toil, we're gonna make an effort, question is which is it gonna be? You're gonna go to sleep at night feeling really good about your life and the difference you made that day? You're gonna go to sleep at night just in the pursuit of more? You're gonna go to sleep at night the wealthiest person on the planet because you've chosen, you've made the choice to be happy and now put your hand, put yourself in Hashem's hand because He's staying up all night so you can sleep? Or are you gonna stay up all night because you think you're in charge, you're in control, what's gonna be, how's it gonna work out, what's gonna be? All the things that you're staying up all night doesn't make any difference. I promise. Your staying up all night, your forfeiting and losing sleep, your insomnia never solved any problem. It just made you more unhealthy, more miserable, more difficult to be around. Just made it more miserable. It didn't make anything better. Let it go and let God. Have that conversation, Hashem, I'm putting this all in Your hands. Whatever's bothering you, whatever's racing through your mind, whatever you can't stop thinking about, whatever you're marinating in. Just say Hashem, I can't. I'm putting it in Your hands. We can pick up the conversation tomorrow. I'm going to sleep. That's what I say. Maybe when someone wants to talk about it. I'm going to sleep. We'll pick it up tomorrow. It's not going to help to stay up and talk about it. I'm exhausted, I'm going to sleep. You can stay up all night. I'm going to sleep. And that's what we say to Hashem. הנה לא ינום ולא יישן שומר ישראל. Shomer Yisrael, the true Shomer Yisrael, guard us, stay up all night, sit with me, hold me in Your hand so I can sleep. ושאר דברים הנצרכים יבואו לנו בברכת שמים. And then we'll get the blessing of everything. And I don't want to misrepresent or mislead. I'm not suggesting that if you do this all your problems go away. That instantly you're married and instantly you're pregnant and instantly your bank account is full and instantly your illness heals. No. It's not a guarantee or a promise that all the problems go away, but it is a guarantee that you have more of what you need to get through them. It is a guarantee that you have your empowered. tools. You can choose happiness. You could live life despite. How do I know that? Because I see it every day. People who are in circumstances like it but choose happiness, choose faith. Is that not what we learned, Bederech emunah bacharti? You could be a hostage buried underground, but the path of emunah I've chosen. I hope the world doesn't quickly forget the hostages. Remember there were hostages? The world moves so quickly. The news cycle happens so quickly we can forget extraordinary people and extraordinary stories. We hosted three of them here. One, I don't want to say greater than the next, but all each in their own way, amazing. All having in common they found Hashem buried underground, chained, starved, beaten in situations where many, most others were walking. Today people are like, Hashem, the WiFi here is slow, I don't believe in God anymore. I'm done. WiFi is slow. They didn't have my prescription when I went, I don't believe in you. Where are you? You're no good. I'm done. I didn't get the aisle seat on the plane, we were delayed on the tarmac, I have no faith. I'm done. And people buried underground, beaten, starved, found Hashem. Why? What did she hold up? Bederech emunah bacharti. The path of emunah I've chosen. It's our choice. Stop waiting for it to happen to you. Stop waiting for an emotion you feel inside you. Make the choice. You're in charge, you're in control. We have autonomy. You can make the choice. If you could still move your lips, smile. Make the choice. Smile, show the whole world. As the song goes, was one of my grandfather, olav hashalom's favorite songs. I have no idea who sings it, probably written in 1902. Smile, when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. The whole world smiles with you. Why? When you smile, who says the whole world smiles with you? They're miserable, you're happy, who says they're going to smile with you? Because there are also studies, Nicholas Christakis from Harvard did a study, smiling is contagious. Did you know that? Just like yawning is contagious, one person yawns and it sets off a chain reaction of yawning. Sometimes you all demonstrate that for me. Yawning is contagious, but so is smiling. So is smiling. It's contagious. You want a happier home, a more joyful home, try smiling more. Don't tell your children or spouse they need to smile more. Don't blame them they need to smile more. I didn't read that email, we'll save that one too. We're going to get back to that. Remember last week I spoke, someone asked, I'm growing in emunah but my spouse isn't and how do I get them to do it more? And I said, don't say a word about it to them. That's almost a guarantee they won't. Just model it and be on fire, and when they see what it's doing for you, they'll want more of it. And someone wrote me an incredible email about this. And maybe you'll hear it next week, and maybe you won't. But we're on an adventure for life. And until those who are in charge decide whether we're having shiur or not, so until next time, whenever it will be. Before you leave, take another I love you, Hashem to put wherever you need to see it: on your steering wheel or on your mirror, on your refrigerator, under your mezuzah, next to the receptionist at your doctor, wherever you need to see it. Take one if you didn't get one yet. And now we'll have questions and answers for a few minutes for those who are here offline.
