Transcript
Good morning, good morning, boker tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna. Always great to be together. We daven today is a day of בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות for Klal Yisrael, we should hear good news from Israel and around the world. This morning's shiur, today's shiur, Emuna series in general is sponsored by Dr. Avie and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Chenzer. We remain tremendously grateful to the Morgans. It's also the series is co-sponsored anonymously in memory of the fallen soldiers and alumni of בני דוד מכינה ישיבה in Eli, an incredibly holy and special place. This week's shiur is dedicated to the refuah shlema of the soldiers who were recently injured in Lebanon. Some of whom were severely injured, one of whom is the son of our series sponsor. Eyal ben Meira, Eyal ben Karen, Aryeh ben Esther, בנימין אברום בן אביטל, David ben Simcha, Yinon ben Orit, Yinon ben Hadassa, מתן מרדכי בן מאירה, Matanya ben Sivia. They should all have a complete, a speedy, a painless refuah shlema. We daven from the bottom of our hearts. Their sacrifice is enormous. All of our eyes and focus is on Iran, but there is an outright war being fought in the north with Hezbollah with some of our heroes in Lebanon, on the ground, in the air, and these were severely injured. We daven for only good news and a complete, complete refuah shlema. Our divrei Torah and our personal growth in emuna should be in their merit. This morning's shiur is sponsored by Joyce and David Miller, commemorating the yahrtzeit of her parents לוי יצחק בן ראובן הלוי and Fruma bas Mordechai. By Martha Smoli, commemorating her mother's yahrtzeit, Gertrude Handler. By the Ellis family in loving memory of זיסא בן שלמה לב, Stephen Ellis, on his first yahrtzeit. May all their neshamas have an aliya. Today is also Corey Reischenberg's yahrtzeit. We miss our beloved Corey and we dedicate our learning to Corey's memory as well. Okay, before we dive into our learning, Rav David Abuchatzeira, and I want to really round out and finish this perek of this beautiful sefer because one of our listeners shared with me, I didn't even know, one of my Rebeim, the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Shaul Alter has an entire beautiful essay on Kapitel Chaf Gimmel. And I want to learn it together, so appropriately, we've been talking all about the Psalm 23 sightings, Kapitel Chaf Gimmel, he has a beautiful, beautiful essay, a very beautiful holy Jew who I admire and love very much. So we'll get to that, but first I want to work our way through the rest of Rav David Abuchatzeira. But before we do that, we darshen up, we learn together some of the emails, some of the emails. But before we even get to an email, I want to read to you an article. We know that at the beginning of this war that today is day 12 or 13, at the beginning of this war there was a missile attack that one of the missiles went through and landed and hit a shul where many were in a bomb shelter in Beit Shemesh and tragically, tragically three children were killed, nine were killed, horrific, unimaginable. And there was an article that caught my eye about Beit Shemesh family clings to G-d after three children killed by Iran. Tamar Biton was in the kitchen when an explosion rocked her home in the central city of Beit Shemesh on Sunday, shattering the windows, collapsing the ceiling. Making her way to what was left of a window, she saw fire, destruction everywhere. I couldn't find my kids, but I was sure they'd be able to rescue them from underneath the rubble, and that was not to be. Took 24 hours to identify the bodies of three of her four children. Yaakov, about to celebrate his 17th birthday that night, Avigail 15 and Sarah 13. They were among nine people killed on Sunday when Iranian missile demolished a shul and several homes in Beit Shemesh. I think it's important to be aware because we're focused on miracles and there are undeniable miracles, and the miracles are all around in Israel. And as Remone and others have pointed out, the intelligence community estimated that if Iran unleashed its arsenal at one time in a way that Israel's air protection couldn't all protect, there could be as many as 30,000 casualties. And the fact that the number is obviously a tiny fraction of it is a miracle. It's revealed, it's not a hidden, it is a revealed miracle. I don't know about you, if you have children, grandchildren, family in Israel, you wake up several times a night and you check and this morning, you know, several more salvos in Israel, zero injured. And you just say these are miracles, miracles, not hidden miracles, not some rabbi giving a drasha trying to pull on heartstrings miracles, not some rabbi who gives an emuna shiur trying to convince people to have emuna miracles. I'm talking the biggest heretic, denier in the world just has to look at this and these are miracles. But with all the miracles of the last 12 days and the miracles we hope continue, it's important to see articles like this and remember who paid the price and who was moser nefesh and who gave their lives for the Jewish people and the Jewish homeland. This woman lost three of her four. four children. Why am I sharing it with you? Because it's important to also pause and grieve and remember and feel pain. Yes, we focus on miracles. Yes, we celebrate with joy and gratitude. Yes, Rav Rimon told us, say Tehillim, but then also honor Purim because the miracles of this Purim were greater than the miracles of the original Purim. All that's true, but we also have to pause and grieve and connect with those who doesn't feel like there were miracles. But anyway, this article traces this remarkable woman, Tamar Biton, who lost three of her four children. Took 24 hours, and she describes at first she hoped that they were okay. Then she hoped that they were injured but would recover. And then she just hoped that they would be found. And then when they came and asked her for DNA, she understood. She said quote, 'I said to my husband, please let something be left of them. Do you think it's just ash and that's why they can't identify them?' In any case, Yitzchak Biton says he hopes opening a yeshiva in honor of his children, he aimed at encouraging unity among Israel's youth. They sanctified Hashem's name with their life and also after their death and they continue to sanctify His name. Why am I telling you all of this for this quote? Tamar Biton, this mother who lost three of her four children said quote, 'Faith isn't built in a day. Faith is a gift from God and faith is what gives you the ability to stand in front of these challenges, these experiences, in front of these waves. Faith is not built in a day.' What she's saying is she spent her entire lifetime preparing to find the strength and the faith and the fortitude to withstand that moment. And if she has any capacity—and we don't know, when the camera's off and the interviewer's gone we don't know—but if she has any faith in order to endure to in a moment lose three of her four children, she says faith is not built in a day. And it's one of the messages and themes we come back to is that emuna is a muscle we work out, and if you don't, it atrophies and it dies. And when you need that muscle to balance, to secure yourself, to lift, if you haven't worked it out and it's not strong, it won't be there for us. And so sometimes we're tempted to think and to say, 'I live under palm trees in beautiful weather, I sip piña coladas, my life is good, everyone in my home is healthy, everyone's doing well, everyone who I want married is married, everyone who I want to have be having babies is having babies, my paycheck is coming in and getting cashed, I'm good, I don't have to go to the emuna shiur. I'm good, I don't have to work on emuna. I'm good, I don't have to daven super hard. I'm good.' And it's wrong, and it's fragile, and it's vulnerable, and it's dangerous. First of all, the person for whom everything is good doesn't know. Everything was good for Tamar Biton. Everything was good until in a moment it wasn't. And for all of us, God forbid, we don't know which test, we don't know which moment, which result, which crossing the street, God forbid, God forbid a billion times, we don't know. And we can't wait for the crisis. If we wait for the crisis to find emuna, it's never too late, of course, and you can, but it's a whole lot harder. But when we work on the emuna in advance, emuna's not built in a moment. Emuna is not built in a moment. It's when things are hunky-dory going well, fantastically fine, when it's all good is when you should spend that time working out. It's when you spend that time working. A person can't wait for the heart attack to start going to the gym. A person can't wait for the stroke, God forbid, to go for a walk. It's God forbid if those challenges or crises coming, the more that you worked out before, the better you're going to withstand and the quicker you're going to bounce back. And what's true physically is true spiritually. And when I saw that article, I like you felt of course the pain, the grief, the connection, the empathy, the sympathy with Klal Yisrael, with this family. We will come out victorious on the end side of this war. Many feel that we've already been victorious, everything else is icing on top from Israel's perspective at least. We know we will, with complete faith we will, and we will see and we will celebrate those miracles. But we also have to pause to remember that not everybody had only miracles. There are people who paid heavy price. This woman three of four children. The sponsor of our series, a patron of that wonderful mechina and yeshiva, whose son should have a complete refua sheleima together with others, for all those who have the many miracles there are others who are not and emuna's not built in a day. Emuna takes work, and when you have the time and the bandwidth and the heart, that's when we work on the emuna so that if or when, because inevitably and invariably, I don't know, I don't know anyone who doesn't need to have emuna at some point in their life. Nobody yet has figured out how to live forever. Nobody has to live forever. Someone told me recently their father used to say, every death is a sudden death. No death happens slowly and gradually. Every death is a—everyone dies. It's a question of when and the challenge that comes with it and from it. And so the sooner and the earlier we work on ourselves and our emuna, the more prepared we are and I found that to be a very, very powerful insight from her, from this woman, Hashem should bless her and give her strength and comfort. Someone passed East 23rd Street and thought of Tehillim Chaf Gimmel. Thank you, Psalm 23 continues. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, My name is such and such, I'm a top 2% listener of Living with Emuna on Spotify. It's a new flex. It used to be I drive this car, I wear this clothing, I have that watch. The new flex is what percent listener you are on Spotify of Living with Emuna. I like it. I say that because despite all the emuna I've been learning and practicing, I found myself in a situation that's truly testing my limits. This was written to me last week. I flew into Israel last week for a family simcha and while I knew that a war with Iran was a possibility, I thought I'd make it out of the country beforehand. I've heard you say that a person can embrace their place and have full emuna without their feeling being a contradiction, and I've been trying to focus on that teaching. The feelings of anxiety and stress are overwhelming, and I've missed so much that I've got going on in America. I can't help wondering where all my tefillos have gone. I recently lost a precious grandfather. All my tefillos for a refuah sheleima seemingly also went nowhere. I'm davening for personal yeshuos and yeshuos for Klal Yisrael, and if I'm being completely honest, it's getting really hard. I'm writing this to you in a mamad that I barely left for the past few days, a safe or a bomb shelter. I'm grateful that my family is safe, that we have the Iron Dome, but I just can't help this feeling that I'm alone and I'm struggling with the fact that I feel like my tefillos are going unanswered. And I know you're extremely busy, any chizuk would be truly appreciated. I appreciate her reaching out, and I appreciate her sharing honestly her vulnerability and how she's feeling. And I think many do. Often we daven for something. It could be a shidduch, and it could be health, and it could be parnassa, and it could be a flight and a return, and it feels like why isn't he answering and where is he and what's supposed to happen? I think perhaps among the biggest challenges, and I hope casualties—we just talked about the loss of life and those who were injured, which of course are the real casualties—but what Iran introduced, which is exactly the methodology of Amalek. Amalek, we're still in the month of Adar and we're still in the aftermath of Purim, and maybe you saw because it went around everywhere, the Heilige Bnei Yissaschar, the great Bnei Yissaschar, wrote a long time ago that the great war with Amalek will begin on Parshas Zachor on Purim and end on Erev Pesach. Oh, it's amazing—he wrote, he wrote a long time ago, over 100 years ago, that the war with Amalek, will defeat Amalek, will begin Parshas Zachor, will begin Purim, and will complete, will be done on Erev Pesach. That's what he wrote. We hope it ends even sooner and faster than that. But we're still in this war with Amalek. Iran is, no question, Amalek. I don't know if you—I just read yesterday, more than half the missiles Iran has shot have had cluster bombs. And the international Geneva Convention, whatever countries sign about the morality and ethics of war, is not to use cluster bombs. And more than half the cluster bombs are something that explodes and then sends little bombs everywhere so that no Iron Dome can protect from them, because the little ones that come everywhere and they cause maximum damage, maximum injury, maximum loss of life, which also translates to maximum miracles that we wake up to three salvos of missiles and zero injured. Miracles, miracles. You're talking about something so pernicious, so dangerous, so lethal that even countries who say we may go to war one day, but we sign a pact we're not going to use that. Like even we have a red line. It's bizarre that countries have an agreement about how they'll fight a war one day, but okay, leave that aside for another time. But they agree that that's so unethical, so immoral, so cruel, so evil that if we ever have to go to war, we won't do that. And that's what Iran is doing and that's what they're doing for more than half the missiles that they've shot to civilian populations in Israel. And Hashem is like—zero injuries, zero injuries. Miracles, miracles. I don't know who could be alive and awake and watching and reading and not feel more connected than ever to Hashem, overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation and yet, it's easy to say when you're reading from the side if you're running in and out of bomb shelters and you're not sure if you're going to be the next miracle or God forbid the opposite. It's tough, it's hard. So Amalek, their methodology, Amalek is gematria—the numerical value of Amalek is gematria safek. We know that the whole methodology and strategy of Amalek is to introduce safek. Amalek is to introduce doubt, doubt. Asher korcha baderech. Amalek, we came out of Egypt, we walked away from Har Sinai, we were on fire, on fire. Har Sinai was the greatest emuna shiur of all time. It was the emuna retreat that we're going to be introducing soon. The Emuna retreat at Har Sinai, maybe that's what we'll call it. It was the Har Sinai was the ultimate revelation. Unprecedented, unparalleled, Hashem revealed himself and spoke, the greatest Emuna moment, the most seminal Emuna moment in all of history. And we walked away on fire, connected, on fire, close, talking to him, feeling him talking to us, and Amalek came along. Asher korcha baderech. Rashi says the word korcha can be kor, cold. We were on fire, and Amalek splashed cold water on our fire. They tried to put out our fire. Yeah, you sure there's a God? How do you know? How do you know he spoke to you? Maybe it was AI. How do you know? How do you know? Maybe it was some technology, maybe somebody threw their voice to make an echo from the mountain that made it sound like it... How do you know? And that same Jew walked away from Har Sinai on fire says, huh, huh, maybe, what if, I don't think so, pretty sure I'm on fire, I'm pretty sure I'm right. You know what Amalek introduced? Doubt. Doubt. A little shemetz, a shtickel, a little bit, that's all it takes. That's all it takes is a little bit of doubt. A little bit of doubt. Maybe I shouldn't have invested in that, maybe I shouldn't have bought that house, maybe I shouldn't have gotten engaged to that person. Doubt is so dangerous. We know what doubt does. When it takes away confidence and clarity and conviction, doubt makes everything fall down and implode. Relationships, if there's doubt. Is there integrity? Is there loyalty? Is there trust? Doubt, doubt and a lack of confidence and Amalek just casually came along and said, yeah, you sure? You sure there's a God? You sure that was him who spoke? You sure everything's for a reason? You sure? You sure everything you heard in that shiur or you read in that article that you learned... You sure? You sure? אשר קרך בדרך לשון מקרה. Mikre means happenstance, chance. You sure everything's for a reason? That's lovely that you want to think, embrace your place, you're a lovely lovely... How do you know? What if you're not meant to be there? What if you're just a victim of chance and randomness? What if? Amalek is safek, Amalek is doubt. And there are so many people suffering and struggling with so much doubt right now in Israel. Doubt. Doubt about safety and security, that's of course the greatest doubt that Iran Amalek has introduced. Doubt. Can I leave my home? Will I be near a shelter? Is there enough time to get back? Doubt. Can I get in the shower? How long a shower? You saw the Israeli ingenuity, within moments an app, a website, can-i-shower.com that tracks the probability of when's the best time to shower based on when the next missile might come. Only Israelis can figure out that algorithm and predict when to best shower. Doubt. Do I have enough time to take a shower? Our one daughter in seminary took her two nieces, our grandchildren, out to the park yesterday and then there was a siren, so she had to casually go with them. How old are they? They're little, two and one, three and one, they're little kids, they're very little. Take them into a shelter, keep them calm, they're now normal, they hear the siren, the kids walk on their own to that room that they're supposed to go. Doubt. Will there be a siren? Can I go? Can I make it to the park? Will I be back in time? Doubt. How about... I was on a trip to Israel two weeks ago. We were on the last flight out. We landed, happens to be Friday, 1:00 PM. I can't tell you how many people have asked me: 'Did you know?' Yeah, I knew. President Trump was like, 'Oh you're back, you're good? Okay, now we can...' Texted him back: 'We're good, we landed Miami, you're clear, clear to do what you want now.' That's exactly how it happened. That's exactly how it went down. But there were people who stayed for that Shabbos. Here's an amazing thing about the human psyche: I feel so much better and smarter than them. I'm not. It could have easily have happened to us. If this would have happened, if, if Khamenei and his chevra had breakfast on Friday morning or Thursday morning instead of Saturday morning, I would have still been in Israel too. I'm not better or smarter, but I feel like I am, 'cause that's how the human psyche is. They're still there, I'm here, what's the matter with them? Why didn't they come back with us? What's the matter with them? That's just an editorial insight into the human psyche. I'm trying to not feel it, but it's fascinating, it's fascinating how the human brain works. But including Lee, who I've tried to call every emergency hotline to get her home, and others who are in Israel are still there. And they were on a flight and they got to the airport and they said, 'Nevermind, you've been bumped. You're not on it.' They're on a flight, the next flight, should they go through Egypt, should they go through Jordan, should they go through Greece, should they, should they get in a box with a UPS symbol and ship themselves? I won't tell you what they're considering to try to get back. Safek. Amalek has introduced doubt. Safek. When? When? It happens to be, and I'll say this publicly 'cause someone will need to do an expose, I think there's a corrupt scandal going on. There are people who are supposed to be rebooked in the order of the flight that they were on and they're getting bumped, and Yeshiva and seminary kids, who God bless them and I love them and I have kids among them, but our... are comfortable and can be where they are in most cases, and there are people who need to come back. One person we're trying to help who had a kidney transplant, went for his grandson's hanachas tefillin, needs to get back to his dialysis and doctors, and keeps getting bumped, and hasn't been on a flight, and every night is up all night waiting and looking at his email and wondering, and should he go to the airport, not go to the airport, will it happen, will it not happen, and there's something going on that's wrong that's happening, and someone will need to be accountable for it, because something is not right, it's not right. But all these people are living with safek, of doubt, of doubt. And that's Amalek, that's this war that's going on physically, and it's going on spiritually, and it's going on emotionally, and it's going on in the email that I just read of the person who says I'm in a mamad, and I just, I'm supposed to, I'm missing things, I want to be, and it's easy, I send my sticker to everybody, embrace your place, you're where you meant to be. It's hard. It's hard. And we can't minimize it. It's incredibly difficult. But what else can you do? What else is there other than embrace your place? If you've taken every initiative, you've filled out the State Department form, and the other Heimisha form, and the third form, and that form, and the seventeenth form, and the form that your great niece sent you, and the form that the dog sent you, you filled out all the forms. You went to the airport. You've been on hold with El Al for three days. You WhatsApp-ed El Al because you heard it was faster. You did everything that you could. We have children supposed to come Pesach, a big mazal tov, we might be celebrating, I'm not allowed to say what it is. We have a big simcha coming for Pesach, and then their flight, and I, my contact El Al emailed, and they wrote back, yeah, we hope so, I don't know if they'll make it or they'll be bumped. Like what can you do? You took your initiative and after that, that's how we overcome. You have to. Emunah is not faith. Faith is not discovered in a moment, Tamar taught us. And it's in these moments that you have to lean back and sit back and say I've taken my initiative, I've done what I could, and now, this is where I'm meant to be. If Hashem wanted me on that flight, someone else would have been bumped for me. If I was bumped, it's because it's not time yet to fly back. And now, what am I meant to do while I'm here? Where should I learn? Where should I volunteer? Who should I hang out with? What can I do? Where should I shop? What fruit smoothie should I get in Geula? What am I meant to do while I'm here? What's my mission, what's my purpose, why am I still here? Because after we've done everything we can to extricate ourselves from where we are, what other choice do we have but to lean into, embrace that place, to accept our mission in that moment? And I say that there's no alternative to that. If we want to defeat Amalek, Amalek is trying to create anxiety and worry and uncertainty and doubt and sleeplessness. And our answer and antidote, the way we defeat Amalek is emunah, not safek, not doubt. Clarity, certainty, emunah. You know what? Hashem's in charge, He's in control, not the El Al agent, not anyone at El Al. He's in charge. So I have to use His shlichim, I have to type to them or talk to them or wait on line for them or go to the airport to them, but they're just His shlichim. They're just agents. Kishmam ken heim, that's their name. They're the travel agent. They're the El Al agent. They're agents. They're just agents. Who's really in charge? Rosenberg. No, who's really in charge? Who's really in charge? Hashem, the Ribbono Shel Olam, the Eibishter. They're the travel agent. They're the El Al agent. They're His agents. They may not be very happy with their agency in the moment, but they're agents. And who's really in charge is Hashem. So I say this with complete, not to minimize, empathy, sympathy, love, support, care, concern. I'm with you. Imcha Anochi Betzara. I'm with you. I have family. We're worried, we're uncertain, we don't know when. But what choice is there to say we did our best? That's it. That's it. With my daughter, who else could we, oh we texted El Al, we tried the travel agent, then I posted my embrace your place sticker. Then my family said, saw that coming. Then I said yeah, what else is there? That's what else. I said yesterday in the Parsha Shiur, the last pasuk in Sefer Shemos, we'll read it, this is Shabbos Chazak. You gotta love Hashem, just when we need it, He sends us a Shabbos Chazak. What happens on Shabbos Chazak? We finish a book, and then we turn to each other and we say Chazak, and then we answer Chazak, and then we say together ve'nischazek. Where does this pasuk come from? Chazak Chazak ve'nischazek. It comes from the Navi. חזק ונתחזק בעד עמנו ובעד ערי אלהינו. It's a pasuk that says be strong, be strong and we'll strengthen one another on behalf of our holy land and our holy city and our people. That's what this pasuk comes from. And could it come at a better time? In the middle of a war, hopefully at the end of a war, by this Shabbos, we'll turn to one another in shuls across the planet and we'll say Chazak, and then we'll answer Chazak, and then together we'll say ve'nischazek. Together, together we'll be strong. But just before we do, the last pasuk in Sefer Shemos: כי ענן ה' על המשכן יומם ואש תהיה לילה בו לעיני כל בית ישראל בכל מסעיהם. The cloud of Hashem was on top of the mishkan... During the day, fire at night, before the eyes of all the Jewish people throughout maseihem, throughout all their journeys. Wonders Rashi, fregt Rashi and I didn't bring my glasses. בכל מסע שהיו נוסעים היה ענן שוכן במקום אשר יחנו שם. Why does it say the cloud was on top of them when they journeyed? The cloud was also over them when they encamped. So why does he say the cloud is over you when you're on the flight, when you're in the car, when you're on the train, when you're on the boat, when you're in the journey? Cloud's also over your house. The cloud's also when you unpacked in the hotel. The cloud's also over the encampment. Not only on the journey, so why does it only say maseihem, why does it only say the journey? Says Rashi, you know why? Because every encampment is also a journey. When you're in Israel and you're so-called stuck, that's a next journey. You're on a journey based on where you are. So if you're at the airport and your flight's delayed, if you're at the red light and you can't go, if you're at the doctor's office and it's taking forever, that feeling of I'm stuck is also a journey. So therefore the Torah depicts even the encampment as a journey to tell us that encampments are also part of the journey of life. A yid, a Jew is never stuck. Never stuck. And I'm sensitive to the people who are still in Israel who meant to be elsewhere. That's uncomfortable, annoying, difficult, painful, miserable, devastating, disappointing, but not stuck. Not stuck. Because stuck suggests that's not where you're supposed to be. But we don't decide where we're supposed to be. We're not the travel agent, the El Al agent. We're not an agent. Hashem is in charge. So it's not stuck, we are. And now the question is to pivot from the anxiousness. Amalek wants us to be stuck. Amalek wants us to talk about being stuck. Amalek wants us to talk about being rescued. Amalek wants us to be filled with doubt and uncertainty and feel I'm not supposed to be here, get me out of here, I can't take it. And Emunah says take a deep breath, restore your neshama with neshima. It's frustrating, let it out, it's okay. It's frustrating, it's disappointing, it's upsetting. Even channel that to Hashem and say why? I'm missing things, I miss my family, my family needs me, the rabbi needs me, I gotta get back. Channel that, channel that. But then say but what's my mission? What's next? How will I keep my serenity, my peace, my tranquility, my happiness? How do I maintain it in this moment because it's where I'm meant to be. Because if we were meant to be elsewhere, we'd be there, especially if we made an enormous initiative and effort to do it. Don't stop the initiative and effort. Don't think you're going to sit back and El Al's going to send a limo to pick you up and tell you it's your turn, it's your time. I don't think that's going to happen. You have to take the initiative, you have to make the effort. But once you've done, done, done, took initiative, made an effort, done. What else can I, what else can I do? So that's response to that email, darshening up that email with a shtikl Amalek, Chodesh Adar, safek, Emunah. And that doesn't happen in a moment as Tamar taught us, Tamar Biton. That doesn't happen in a moment. Emunah has to be worked on for a lifetime. And the person who has strong Emunah muscles is sitting in Israel or elsewhere trying to go back to Israel saying I took my initiative and I did my best and now this is where I'm meant to be. What's my mission? What's next? What do I do while I'm here? I want to get back into the text, have a bunch of other powerful and great and important Emunah emails. Thank you for living with Emunah, keeps my eyes wide open all of Hashem's miracles. I want to share a recent experience blew me away. My granddaughter had a dental issue required oral surgery to the tune of $15,000 due to the fact that three teeth were fused to her gums and needed to be extracted. Surgeon was top of the line, would not accept insurance, only cash. Since it was such an expensive proposition, they had a second opinion who's willing to do the work for a few thousand less. It was complicated and invasive, they would put her to sleep with the surgery. The angst and fear was terrible as it grew closer to the surgery date. About a week before her surgery, my granddaughter got a toothache. She went to her regular dentist, my daughter discussed the upcoming surgery, he looked at her daughter and the X-rays and he thought this is a fairly routine extraction, no fused gums, no complication. He took care of it on the spot for a few hundred dollars. No issues, no terror. Hashem orchestrated the toothache to save them the fear, pain and money. He held our hand and resolved everything in the easiest way possible. It's so gratifying to clearly see and feel this Yad Hashem firsthand. Thank you, we are so grateful. I wrote back, it's so beautiful when you see a hug from Hashem. Better when it doesn't come with a grandchild's toothache. But that toothache was a gift from Hashem. Sometimes a toothache can be painful, sometimes a toothache can be why me, and sometimes a toothache can be thank you Hashem because that toothache saved pain, worry and thousands of dollars, feel free to send it to the global campaign. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, just joking, maybe. Hope everything is well. Small story. Listen to Live with Emunah for many years. I try to actually practice strengthening my Emunah muscle. A few weeks ago, I decided to start baking challah again after taking a long break. Having two kids under two made it difficult to keep up with it. I was excited to get back into the I had to throw out all eight. I was really upset. It felt like a waste of time and effort with money being tight for us right now, was also painful to throw out all these ingredients. I ended up buying store-bought challah for Shabbos. I was very disappointed, but still I kept reminding myself what I learned from the shiurim. There's always a reason for what happens and that Hashem runs the world perfectly. I kept telling myself somehow this was what Hashem wanted, I needed to trust him. The challahs were where they were meant to be. This week I decided to try baking challah again, determined to be careful not to miss any steps. As I was about to do hafrashas challah, it suddenly hit me. The previous time I had baked, I had completely forgotten to do hafrashas challah. In that moment I realized something powerful. Hashem was protecting me and my family and our guests from eating challah that didn't have hafrashas challah taken. And at the same time, it felt that Hashem was showing me how important the mitzvah is, almost as if he was saying that if I skip that step, the challahs themselves will not succeed. Instead of feeling upset about what happened, I suddenly felt incredibly grateful. If those challahs had come out perfect, I might not have ever realized what I missed and I would have been devastated to discover later we'd eaten them without taking challah. Thank you for the shiurim, they truly helped me stay calm in the moment, see Hashem's hand in the whole situation. I'm grateful for the perspective, wishing continued hatzlacha, emunah for everybody. Again, another example, maybe relatively small relatively to other things, but the very thing that you could feel the most frustrated about when you gain a perspective on it is the thing that you're so grateful for. The very thing you were miserable about becomes miserable, a toothache. That toothache just saved thousands of dollars and much more pain. Miserable throwing out eight challas, you would have been more miserable to think that you ate and fed challah that you hadn't done hafrashas challah, hafrashas challah for. Okay, oh boy. Okay, one more. I was listening to your shiur last week, yesterday, while attempting to take a walk and it inspired the short piece of writing I wrote. I thought I would share. This is what the person wrote. Living in Israel during this time is like living with the highest level of intensity of fear juxtaposed with the ultimate faith. It's an important insight. We run into our shelter trying not to internalize that above our heads, the decision of our fate is being decided. Will we live or will we die? It's Yom Kippur every day. I read my Tehillim or scroll through. You leave your house and pray that the 45 minutes you need to go to the grocery store are silent. But alas they're not. So you run to yet another parking garage shelter, reconvene with your new Israeli friends who laugh and say we need to stop meeting like this. But power, you feel power and strength living here. You know that you're suffering temporarily so that others can live. You know that your suffering will result in the eternal safety of your future children and the world at large. As you hear the mamad doors close, one above and below you with a loud thud, you feel the strength and the unity of your nation. We all go in together and we all come out and live. We live and life goes on in Israel. People get their hair done only to show it to the four concrete walls they're endlessly trapped around. But the spirit here is to live and to never stop. As I slam my mamad door closed for the 50th time, I picture Hashem slamming the book of life closed on this beautiful nation saying you will live because you are mine. Powerful, beautiful. Okay, there's a lot more but that's a good place to leave it. Let's get back into the text. We're on page kuf lamed hey. kuf lamed hey. Wow, Mi k'amcha Yisrael. Mi k'amcha Yisrael. Not emails, why me, woe is me, I can't believe again and in another bomb shelter, but look at that, and I want you to know the general attitude. I saw someone the other day who lives in Hollywood. A holy Jew. And he said to me that his daughter called him from Israel that day. She's there in seminary for the year. And she said Abba, I'm so anxious, I'm so nervous, I'm so overwhelmed, I'm so worried, I don't know what to do. So he said you know ketzele, that's understandable, that's reasonable. The sirens, you're running to bomb shelters, there's ballistic missiles. She said no, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm so upset because I don't know if I should come back for Pesach. It's silly, Mashiach's going to come any moment and I'm going to be in Florida for Pesach. I left Israel when Mashiach's about to come? This is a girl he told me who in ninth grade the school was worried she doesn't really believe in God, she's not really on track wanting to live a religious life. And now she's telling her father her biggest worry in the world is should she leave Israel, she'll feel like a fool, Mashiach comes and she went to Florida for Pesach. Mi k'amcha Yisrael. Mi k'amcha Yisrael. Jewish people are extraordinary. When we were in Israel, the overwhelming feeling everyone had, everyone said to us, oh you came so you have a front row to the miracles we're about to see. Not can you believe we're doing this again, woe was us, why does this have to happen. Everyone, everyone said, \"Oh you came so you'll be here for the miracles.\" I was texting yesterday with a holy friend, Rav Judah, my holy friend. Oh he's fantastic. So I checked in, I tried. \"How are you? How are you? It's hard to find the right words and not feel stupid, but how are you holding up? Is your family safe and strong? Tell me how you're doing.\" He said, \"We're fine. How are you?\" I said, \"Baruch Hashem, I'm fine.\" He said, \"I know how hard it must be for you to not be here now.\" I know many other people would have been saying that sarcastically, but both because he's who he is and he also does know me, that I'm looking into flights of how I could go, that he does know me, that it is hard not to be there now. But he's not writing, \"Woe was me. I wish I could be in Boca with you. You're so lucky. You're so safe.\" He's saying, \"I feel for you. It must be so hard for you to not be here where miracles are happening right now.\" This is the Mi k'amcha Yisrael, people. This is our nation. This is our family. These are our people. Oh, that's why we're going to win. That's why we're winning. And we're not going to get tired of winning. But we're winning. We're winning. And it's fantastic. It should just continue Hashem. It should just have the merit. Kuf Lamed Hey. לכן ביקש דוד המלך עליו השלום. Dovid HaMelech alav hashalom. Samach nefesh avdecha. Dovid HaMelech said, samach nefesh avdecha. אתה השם שמח את נפשי. God, you gladden my heart. L'havi liyedei sipuk. God, you gladden my heart and you brought me to a place of satisfaction. You brought me to a place of enough. היינו נפש המתאווה לענייני העולם. One of the things to daven for, Dovid HaMelech says, is, \"Hashem, let me always try to get more and have more, but at the same time be happy and satisfied with what I have. Let me try to want more and have more, but let me also find the capacity to be satisfied and grateful for what I have.\" ויאמר מתנצל כי אני איני יכול לדאוג להשקיט מהשתוקקותה ועוסק אליך השם נפשי אשא כיון שאני נושא את נפשי ואת השתוקקותה אליך לדברים רוחניים בכך אני מעורר על עצמי את כוח הטבע והכיסופין ולנצור לבקש עוד. Now there's a challenge here. If we have drive and ambition and want more, it's going to be hard to only have that in the area of spirituality. Once we have drive and ambition and aspiration and craving and yearning for more—emuna, more davening, more Torah, more chesed, more—then once we have this feeling of wanting more, we're also going to want more, more square footage of our house, more nicer car, more jewelry, more nicer watch, more, more steak, more, more. We're going to want more. והקשה עלי הדבר להשתמש במידה זו רק בעבודת השם. Says Dovid HaMelech, \"Hashem, once you put inside me this will and want for more, how do I channel it discriminately, judiciously? How do I make sure that I'm only applying drive and ambition and more for things that are good for me and not for things that aren't?\" שאין בכוחי להשתמש במידת ההסתפקות כאשר אינני מסתפק בהשגות רוחניות. How do I, when it comes to gashmius, when it comes to the physical, I say midas histapkut? Histapkut means maspik. What does maspik mean? Enough, enough, enough. I'm still going to work and I try to do well at work. I want a raise, I want a promotion, I want more customers, I want more clients, I want my investments to have a greater return. I want that. It's okay. But also, Hashem, whatever I have is good. It's enough. It's what you determined is right for me so it's enough. A midas histapkut. We're living in a consumer generation. This society today is driven by consumerism. Marketing, ads, the world is always about more—next, the latest model, update everything—your car, your phone, your spouse, the latest. It's trying to some people. That just went right over. No, you heard? Because if everything is on demand and everything is the latest and everything is upgraded and everything is the newest and everything is the shiniest, then it's hard to not feel that for the people in your life, too. Where can you download the newer version of the operating system for your spouse? People, whatever happens in the world is impacting negatively also. Just like, I don't know if you saw this video went viral the other day, that was comparing children of the 80s and 90s who fast forward to today and they say, \"What do you mean we're going to in the future?\" It was maybe we'll post it, if it's appropriate to post. Right? So you remember in the old days that you used to make a mixtape? Anyone here ever make a mixtape? You'd have a tape recorder with two tapes and you'd play the one tape to record. You'd have to hit the things at the exact same time and get it to start at the same time, stop at the same time, then you take another tape that had a good song and make the mixtape, and it took forever to do that. But the reality was you didn't do... that most really weren't invested in doing that and most people, I don't want to go back that far, but a record or a tape. So somebody put out a new tape and it had two, maybe three great songs on. Two great songs, two decent songs, and the rest bad songs. But they had to fill the tape, so they put all the songs. So what did you have to do? You had to listen to the whole tape. Because if you wanted to get to the great song, you also had to make your way through the bad songs. But then Apple came out with that little, what was the original one called? Not the iPhone, the iPod. That little iPod and now all of a sudden it had this incredible thing that you could do. You could download music and you could make what's called a playlist. And the playlist is only the things I want to hear. And now you had the ability to make a playlist. I don't have to patiently listen to what I don't want to hear. So what happened now? Now we want to make a playlist from the people in our life. Stop saying that, I want to forward that. I just want to skip to what I want to hear you say. I only want to hear your compliments and I only want to hear your affection. Your criticism and your feedback? Skip. That's not on my playlist. I didn't put that on my playlist from you. I delete that from your playlist. This all, whatever's happening in the world and in technology also impacts our lives and our and our relationships. So Dovid HaMelech says this mida of histapkus. If I'm going to have a drive and ambition for more Torah, tefilla, chesed, and ruchinus and spirituality, then am I going to want more in the physical world? So one of the things we daven for Hashem is: help me feel simultaneously, when it comes to the physical world, I have what I need, I have what you determined is right and best for me and even while I'm working to have more, but I'm good. I have the capacity for histapkus. It's not just the general secular world. One of the criticisms of some of our frum media and magazines and newspapers is they'll have side by side, it's mind-boggling, but side by side they'll have an article by a rabbi or rebbetzin all about histapkus. We should be satisfied with what we have, don't crave more, what we have is from Hashem, and opposite it is a $30,000 watch, an incredible Pesach program in the most exotic location, a picture of a rib steak that's a $40,000 rib steak. Side by side is the article on the Torah. These are our Jewish publications today is that side by side is an article on being satisfied with what Hashem gave you and what you have, but here's what you really should want. Okay, everyone's got to make a living. So how do we do it says Dovid HaMelech? והרי מדת התאוה כשהיא גשמית מפריעה להשגת החכמה והתעלות בעבודת השם יתברך. This mida of taiva, this character trait of drive, ambition, desire, yearning, craving, wanting more. That drive, which is good in avodas Hashem, is also not good, it's counterproductive, it's negative and destructive when it comes to the physical. ולכן אתה ה׳ שמח שמח נפש עבדך עשה אתה למעני וספק את נפשי בענייני עולם הזה. So in those words of Dovid HaMelech where Rav Dovid Abuchatzira is explaining Dovid HaMelech's tefilla and we also grab onto that tefilla. Our tefilla is Hashem enable me to live that paradox. Enable me to live in that space where I can when it comes to the physical, the material, feel I have what I need, I have what's right for me, I have what you've given me and I'm good to go. But in the world of spirituality I don't have enough, I want more, I crave more, I'm going to pursue more, I'm yearning for more. ובזה פירש במקום אחר turn the page. Divrei Dovid and with this you can explain Dovid HaMelech elsewhere, Tehillim 104, azamra leilokai be'odi. שעבודת הזמרה לאלהי היא בבחינת בעודי. Azamra leilokai be'odi. I will sing to God be'odi. Be'odi means the literal translation of the word be'odi means... No, that's the teitch, that's the vort. Be'odi means in this resonance אזמרה לאלהי בכל עת השם, but he's Rav Dovid Abuchatzira saying be'odi, I praise Hashem how? With what I want my ode. Ode. The word ode means more. So how do I how do I praise or affirm my faith in Hashem? By where in my life I want more. What in your life do you want more of? More money? More things? Or more spirituality? More faith? More experiences? More people? Art Buchwald does this quote, the best things in life aren't things. The best things in life aren't things, aren't things. Things, money buys a lot of things. But relationships, experiences, faith, health, these aren't things. So what do we want more? One of the ways to do a gut check, one of the mirrors to hold up to ourselves, one of the questions to ask, years ago in a emuna shiur I posed, I only have one friend who does this, our brother Ben, that we should ask each other when we go for coffee, when we see each other, we're spending time, we say, how's your neshama? How's your neshama? How's your neshama? We always ask how are you? So how am I? I'm great. Pesach, I found matzah, it's only 400 dollars a pound, not 500 dollars a pound. We're going away, we're staying home, jewelry is a sale, Yakira Bella, whatever, we always ask how am I doing? We answer about things. We answer about things. But the real question to ask one another is how's your neshama? How's your neshama? Are you feeling connected? Are you feeling on fire? Are you feeling alive? Are you feeling calm? Are you feeling present? Are you feeling ragua, a calm? How's your neshama? So another alternative to how's your neshama, this is all going to come out in our emuna workbook that we're working on, in theory, but it's going to come out. Is one of the questions to ask ourselves not only how's your neshama in the emuna workbook, but where do you want od? What do you want more? What do you want more? If you could rub a bottle and a genie came out and he says I'll grant you a wish of you could have more, what do you want more of? Would your mind go immediately to more of things, or would your mind go to more of health and wellness, relationships, time with certain people, peace of mind, serenity, faith, Hashem? What do you want more of? If you could be granted a wish for more of something, what do you want more of? Isn't that a beautiful vort? That's what Dovid Hamelech says, Azamra Lelokai, that we sing and praise Hashem how? Be'odi, with the answer to what do you want od? What do you want more of? Be'odi, with my od I sing to Hashem says Dovid Hamelech. Be'odi. He's the king, he has power, but he doesn't care, he doesn't want, that's not what defines him. He says Hashem, I declare and I sing my love and my gratitude to you how? Be'odi, with my od, with my more, with what I want more of. More daf of Shas, more masechtas, more nachas from children, Yiddishe nachas, Chassidishe nachas, Litvishe nachas, Sephardishe nachas, Ashkenazi nachas, whatever nachas you want, but nachas. More nachas. What's the od? What's the od? What's the od? This is an important question to ask ourselves. It's an important question for spouses to talk to each other about. It's an important question for friends to check in on and that's why it's in the emuna workbook on the emuna website, on all the big plans that we have. And it's in the emuna book, it's on the emuna podcast, and it'll be spoken about at the emuna retreat and it'll be on the emuna swag. And it's on this whole world of emuna that we're working on. Work on Hashem, help us work on it. Help us work on it. But that's a big question. What do you want od? If you could be granted a wish for more, what do you want more? More followers? More fame? Bigger influencer? More free stuff? What do you want more? More money? What do you want more? Maybe for some people they'd give anything for more time. More time. More time of their own, more time with that person that they wish they had more time with. What do we want more? More health? What do we want? More memory, to have a little more as it's slipping or fading? More mobility? What do we want more? What do we want more? What we want more essentially Dovid Hamelech is saying says so much about us. What we want more says so much about us. So Azamra Lelokai, Hashem, I sing to you how? Be'odi, with what I want more. I don't want more narishkeit. I don't want more silly things. I don't want more replaceable things. I don't want more creature comforts. I love them, I'm happy to have them, but if I could ask for one thing, those are not my more. That's not my more. What's my more? That's a big question to ask ourselves. What's your more? What's your more? What's our more? What's our more? כדרך זה מצינו בהרבה מקומות בספרי הקודש הדבר and you see this, sorry I finished that paragraph? Yeah. עד כמה נצרך לבקש ולכסוף לעוד רוחניות ובד בבד לרצון נפשו שתסתפק במה שיש לו בענייני הגשמיות. We see this, this fascinating balance in the world of spirituality. More, more, more. Never satisfied, never enough, always growth oriented, always improving, always growing, always adding. More, more, more. But in the world of physical, enough, I'm happy, I'm satisfied, I'm good. Kedugma, you see this. I'll end with this. We say in Aleinu, וידעת היום והשבות אל לבבך. In Aleinu, every morning, every afternoon, in Aleinu. Veyadata hayom, know today, vehasheivosa el levavecha, put it in your heart. שזו הידיעה החשובה שבעולם ואין עוד מלבדו. So if this whatever we're about to say, know this today and put it in your heart, whatever you're going to say next is the most important thing to know, right? Know today and put it in your heart. What should I know? כי ה' הוא האלקים בשמים ממעל שבכל ענייני שמים עבודת היהודי תהיה בבחינת ממעל שתמיד יראה כמה עליו להוסיף ולהעלות בדרגה גבוהה כשעומד. אך ועל הארץ מתחת ענייני הארץ והגשמיות שיעבוד בבחינת מתחת שכמה שיכול לצמצם לדרגה נמוכה יותר עדיף. What do we say? וידעת היום והשבות אל לבבך. Know this today and put it in your heart. What should I know and put in my heart? That כי ה' הוא האלוקים בשמים ממעל. When it comes to God in the heavens, mima'al, always look up, there's always more to do. But when it comes to al ha'aretz, when it comes to the physical material world, mitachas, always look down and say, what I have, I'm good to go, it's enough. There's another interpretation to this. I wrote it in the introduction, the newest volume of Yad Ram is about to come out, which is the Torah journal of our shul. The newest volume, volume five maybe, is coming out. And in one of the earlier volumes in the introduction, I wrote this vort. They say that when it comes to כי ה' הוא האלוקים בשמים ממעל. When it comes to things about Hashem, mima'al, look to the people bigger and greater than you and be jealous of them. But when it comes to al ha'aretz, when it comes to the physical material world, mitachas, look at people who have less than you and feel happy with what you have. When it comes to spirituality, look at who's above you and want more. And when it comes to physical and material, look at people who have less and be grateful with what you have. Be grateful with what you have. That's a hard place to live. How do we balance that simultaneously? That my od, my craving, my yearning, my wanting, my desire, my ambition, my aspiration, my more is only in the world of ruchniyus. In the world of gashmiyus, in the physical material world, I'm good. I look at people with less and I say I am happy with what I have. But when it comes to the spiritual world, I look at people who have more spirituality, more emuna, more davening, more, I say I want more. I want to be more like them. So who are our role models? Who are we jealous of? Who do we want more? Mima'al, mitachas. We pick up with next time, we'll do questions and answers for ten minutes for those who are in person. Otherwise, may we hear besuros tovos.
