Transcript
Okay, good morning. Welcome back to Living with Emunah. Please help yourself to coffee, pastry, slushy, soup in our arv shaloh in the corner here at BRS. Want to thank our Emunah series sponsors, as always, our dear friends Dr. Avi and Bella Morgan for their tremendous generosity in sponsoring our Emunah shiur in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Schanzer. We remain very grateful to them. We also are grateful to the co-series sponsor, anonymously in honor of the 30 fallen soldiers and alumni of Bnei David Mechina, the yeshiva in Eli, a very special place. 30 who fell on October 7th and during the war. Each week we're highlighting another one of those precious soldiers, Hashem yikom damo. And this week it's Major Dr. Eitan Menachem Ne'eman, who was 45 years old, a Yale educated combat doctor in the IDF's 551st brigade from the yeshiva of Tena. He was killed on October 9th while battling Hamas terrorists near the Israeli settlement of Kfar Aza. Dr. Ne'eman had spent October 7th treating hundreds of injured soldier, Israelis who flooded the trauma room at Soroka Hospital where he headed the pediatric trauma department. He is survived by his wife, Yael, their seven children, his mother and his five older sisters. They should all find, please God, Nechama and strength through his memory. This morning's shiur is also sponsored by Neal Weinreb in honor of the yahrzeits this week of his mother, Sarah bas Yisrael Weinreb, and his grandfather, יעקב לייב בן אליהו הכהן Weinreb. Okay, we begin as we always do with some letters and correspondence, and then we will get back into the text that we're learning, the wonderful sefer, Sha'arei Tefillah of Rav David Abuhatzeira. So here we go, letter number one. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I want to share a cute emunah story. Who doesn't love a cute emunah story? I want to share a cute emunah story. My sister recently came in from out of town to visit. Her flight had multiple delays and was almost canceled, but she told me she listened to one of your shiurim during the wait and remained completely calm throughout. When she finally surrendered in her mind that whatever would happen from Hashem, they suddenly announced her flight was boarding. I'll tell you, I try to practice what I preach. I traveled this week, Baruch Hashem, at a wedding Sunday in New York. Travel gives the opportunity to exercise your emunah muscle each and every time. It's an unbelievable thing. Government shutdown, no government shutdown, weather, no weather. Going to New York, we had such turbulence. There was a woman screaming on the plane. That was exciting, but when Hashem's the pilot, you don't get too exercised. You practice hishtavus. Everything's, it's a smooth, always a smooth ride. That's hishtavus. We learned about hishtavus. Hishtavus is you never get too high, you never get too low. Hakol shaveh, equanimity, it's all equal to me. שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד When Hashem is opposite you always, when you realize that Hashem is the pilot wherever you're going, so the ride is always smooth. To others, it may register as bumpy. Others may be screaming and yelling, but if you realize Hashem is the pilot, then the ride is always smooth. And then on the way back, I made a terrible amateur miscalculation. I probably shouldn't even say this out loud. I'm embarrassed and humiliated. I stayed at my daughter on Sunday night in Passaic and the flights, I wanted to just see my grandchildren in the morning, just a little bit, play with them. So the flight a little bit later was from LaGuardia instead of Newark. And for some reason, even though I grew up in that area, I looked online and I'm, okay, LaGuardia geographically is actually closer to Passaic than Newark. So I'm going to fly out of there and it'll give me a little time to play with my grandchildren. An hour and 30 minute Uber ride later, LaGuardia made by the, how do they call that? The way the crow flies? Something like that. It might geographically be closer, but on no planet is it closer. Anyway, so I'm watching my Uber destination, the time go up and up and up and the flight and the flight and the flight. But when you, when you teach and when you live with emunah, it's all good. Whatever time you'll get there, you're meant to get there, whether the flight you'll get on, you won't get on. These are the little things in life, opportunities to exercise your emunah muscle. My sister, back to the email. My sister was the cute email. My sister was also very excited to share with me that you have a new granddaughter named Kayla Emunah. I too have a Kayla Emunah. She'll be turning four next month. She's the light of our lives. Wish the same nachas and joy from your Kayla Emunah that we are blessed to have from ours. So we Baruch Hashem have a Kayla Emunah. I call her Emunah. Everyone else calls her Kayla. But that's for another time. Now for the story. My sister very much wanted to go to the Ohel on Sunday morning. Despite a few scheduling conflicts, we managed to get on the road from New Jersey at 8:00 AM. We arrived before 9:00. We wrote our kvittel, spent some time saying Tehillim in the Ohel. While my sister and I are very close, we're also very different. So it was deeply meaningful to share that experience together. We both had a lot to daven for. We each daven not only for ourselves, for one another as well. Following week, I went to the bank to deposit some cash. Parnassah is one of my sticking points with Hashem and one of the things I daven for most intensely at the Ohel. As I began the deposit, the ATM was acting up, spitting out bills and forcing me to feed them back in one by one. A small small line was forming behind me and I didn't want to hold anyone up, so I finally clicked finish deposit, even though not all the bills had gone through. When I looked at the screen, I saw the total deposited. Anyone want to guess? That's right, 770. I couldn't help but laugh out loud. It felt like *Hashem* was sending me a clear and loving message. I read your letter, I heard your *tfilos*, I hear you, all is good and all will be good. Thank you for the *shiurim*, constantly helping us see *Hashem's* hand in the small everyday moments of life. So, she *davened* at the *ohel*, *parnasa*, went to the bank, and coincidentally, nothing is coincidentally, how much did she deposit? 770. For those who don't know, 770 is the address in Crown Heights of Lavavitch. It's a significant number, 770. Okay, we have our latest Psalm 23 sighting. Every week now. This is the new, we saw the guy with the jersey, number 23, Psalm. We saw the license plate. We saw, what was last week? Every week there's another sighting. I hope this email finds you well. I've been meaning to write for a me for a long time, never got to it. I enjoy your Wednesday morning *shiur*, I have gained and grown so much since I started listening 10 months ago. The past couple of weeks we've been learning about, there's so many letters to read and there's so much learning to do. You got to listen later on half speed, Penny. The past couple of weeks we've been learning about and mentioning the *pasuk* השם רועי לא אחסר. השם רועי לא אחסר, again, we've been learning over and over again, means not only, means not only that I don't lack because whatever *Hashem* gives me I'm meant to have, but the ultimate hope השם רועי לא אחסר is, *lo echsar*, may let me never be lacking that *Hashem* is my shepherd. Wherever I go, whatever I'm going through, let me realize that he's my shepherd. He's guiding me. He's caring for me. He's carrying me. That he's never, I'm never lacking, let me never be lacking. I mentioned yesterday in the *parsha shiur* what we had learned together in the *emuna shiur*, this week's *parsha*. When Yitzchak *davens* *lenochoch ishto*, the *Zera Kodesh*, the holy *Ropshitzer* re-punctuated the *pasuk*. ויעתר יצחק כמה להשם לנוכח אשתו. what Yitzchak *davened* was that while we're going through the struggle, while we're going through this challenge, while we're going through this difficult time, let it not be compounded by not only the difficult time but losing *Hashem*. So therefore *Hashem* *lenochoch ishto*. While my wife is struggling, let her first of all conceive, let her have a child, but in the interim, while she's struggling, may *Hashem* be opposite her always. May this struggle not cost her her relationship with *Hashem*. So we learned השם רועי לא אחסר, may let me never be lacking that he's my shepherd. Different people have shared how they've seen reminders of this in their life. I don't know if this qualifies to be read in the *shiur*. I guess it does, but I'll share how I saw this *pasuk* in my life. As I listened to this idea one Wednesday on my drive back from an appointment that left me feeling upset, and just feeling bad about where *Hashem* put me at this point in my life, I reminded of this important lesson. I try every night to read some Torah thought before going to bed. That night when I opened up Rabbi David Sutton's daily *psukim* on *bitachon*, it was a coincidence that this *pasuk* of *Hashem* is my shepherd, I shall not lack, was the one I was up to that night. In the moment, I was still feeling upset, but in the hindsight, I'm able to see the hug and kiss from *Hashem*. So she listened to the *shiur* that day, was upset about something that had happened, got into bed and what page was she up to? השם רועי לא אחסר. Okay, so challenge, next week, you're on. Somebody find what is the next sighting of השם רועי לא אחסר. Additionally, since today you mentioned the idea of Waze and what we can learn, I wanted to share with you what my mom always taught me regarding this idea, which has helped me as I wait for my *yeshua*, for my answer. She said, many times in life, we're on the map of Waze and we don't know our ETA. It could very well be that we're minutes away from our destination, but we don't always know and it can be frustrating when you're sitting in the driver or passenger seat not knowing. So too with life, when we're waiting for our *zivug*, a child, test result, we could be a minute away. The *yeshua* can be around the corner. can you take care of this? But we have to recognize that like you said, *Hashem* is the satellite and he sees that we're so close. We have to trust that we're almost there and his timing is always perfect. Also just to mention, I was so moved and inspired by the story of the soldier who turned down the music request. Thank you for helping me grow in my *emuna*. Okay, another beautiful email. This email's a few months late, but ever since this experience happened, I felt I needed to share it with you. Your *shiurim* have changed my mindset, I thought you should know. I live in *Yerushalayim* and when Israel preemptively attacked Iran on a Thursday night, the following Friday was an extremely stressful day. We waited for Iran's response. We all knew this would be different from previous attacks, it might last longer and it might be more serious. That Friday morning we received an alert advising us to stay near a bomb shelter. Hundreds of drones were on their way. Since we had a few hours before they were expected to arrive, it's just a bizarre world we live in. Got an alert, hundreds of drones are on their way, you have some time, take care of a few things. I used the morning to prepare everything for *Shabbos*. The food, the hot water urn, the hot plate, so that if we ended up spending hours in the shelter, we'd still be ready once Shabbos began. When everything was finally ready, I took my siddur and began Shachris. I know I probably should have done it earlier, but I was in full fight or flight mode. During, I guess when you get a text saying hundreds of drones are on their way to kill you and your family, you have an excuse if you took a few more minutes to daven Shachris. That is much better than the dog ate my homework. That's a legit. During the Amidah, I paused to say a personal prayer, but only the words that came to me were, Hashem hu ha'Elokim. There was nothing else to say, just deep awareness that Hashem, you made this happen, you're in control, you got this. I kept reading those words over and over, Hashem hu ha'Elokim. And just as I finished saying them, I got a notification on the phone. I checked it in case we needed to run to the shelter. I was stunned to see the event has ended. All the drones have been intercepted before reaching Israel. I had to reread it several times in disbelief. And then I started to cry. It felt like a clear wink from Hashem. Hashem hu ha'Elokim. She finished the words, Hashem hu ha'Elokim, and got the alert, all clear. Hashem had taken care of all the drones. Thanks to the shiur, I was able to see the wink for what it was, a reminder that Hashem runs the world. I truly feel calm and reassured knowing he is in charge. I knew the situation wasn't over, difficult days still lay ahead, but in the moment, I felt Hashem was showing me in the most direct way possible, I got this, I'm behind you all. Okay. So many emails, Baruch Hashem. I want to share a story with you on behalf of someone very close to me. My father suffered from a particular illness many years. He recently received a medical emergency bracelet. If he presses it, the company calls my mother first, then my sibling, and if no one answers, then dispatches EMS. Last week, I was sitting in the beis din in Yerushalayim, waiting to finalize a long overdue case after 15 truly exhausting years. I was waiting for the other party who should have been there but was late. Meanwhile, at that exact moment, my mother who was elsewhere was woken up at 2:15 by a call from an unfamiliar Florida number. She assumed it was spam and ignored it, as did my siblings. 10 minutes later, at 2:25 a.m., she was startled awake by the loud banging on the front door and the shouts of EMS, we understand there's an emergency. She realized the bracelet must have triggered accidentally and explained the situation before they broke down the door, something which they would have otherwise been authorized to do. Still shaken, she looked at the clock, 2:35 a.m., exactly the time I was literally pleading with the Dayanim not to postpone the case. She told me later if Hashem woke me up at this hour, it's the perfect time for me to say Tehillim for you, and so she did. Half a world away at the very moment things were most tense on my side. Baruch Hashem, the other party arrived, the Dayanim agreed to proceed, and we were able to complete everything. So, what a wild case, no? He's in Yerushalayim, needing tefillos. On this side, the emergency bracelet was pressed by accident so they were awoken, and once they were awoken they used that time to say Tehillim, not knowing over there it was the exact, it was the exact time. P.S. I started listening to the Emunah shiurim a few months ago. I realized it was time to move forward. My observance isn't as strong as it once was, but as I went through this, a lot of anger I'd been holding towards Hashem started to soften. In a strange way, I finally feel free to take control of my life again, which is a very beautiful idea. Thank you so much. Okay. Okay, now I want to read before we get back to our learning because this is the gift that in some ways keeps on giving. I shared in the Emunah shiur first, and then I wrote it as the article a couple weeks ago, and I've been getting a lot of feedback. The person who wrote me the letter on Erev Rosh Hashanah essentially expressing their anger, their disappointment, their frustration, their hurt, their feeling of abandonment by Hashem, and telling Hashem that they're turning away from him. They're done with him. They're moving on. Even though they came to shul that night and the next morning and every day since, they kept on davening. Told the Elie Wiesel story about the trial, putting God on trial, finding him guilty, and then continuing to daven. And countless people have been reaching out. I shared also my response to that young man that I read his email, his letter to God not as a failure or breakdown of Emunah but as a profound expression of faith, because you're not angry at someone you don't believe exists. And therefore, that real and raw and authentic emotional rollercoaster and tension with Hashem is reflective of a genuine and honest relationship, which is really what Emunah is all about. And again, I'm not here encouraging everyone, have your moment, have your fight, have your write your letter to Hashem telling him off, otherwise you haven't really lived with Emunah. Chas v'shalom. If you're good, Baruch Hashem, you're good. But what it does, what I do want to say is, it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to sometimes feel hurt, broken, abandoned, and use that to channel to come back, to rebuild, to come forward, not to become more distanced. And that was the letter that I wrote back to this individual. I encouraged him, come to shul, and if you can't open the siddur, read this letter over and over because it's raw and it's real, and it's an authentic expression to Hashem. And countless people who have gone through the journeys of their lives that have left them in that same place have shared with me. So one email. Thank you for posting the story and your response and insights. I could have written that email myself. As I feel almost to the letter the same as the anonymous writer. Your words gave me the chizuk to go back to shul for the first time in almost seven months. But just for kiddush, I'm not ready to daven yet. And I'm unfortunately confident this fellow and I are not alone. There are many possibly thousands. I'm still mostly shomer Shabbos. I'm dealing with Hashem on my own terms now. I have a lot of struggles, but I've not received any rabbinic or religious guidance, other than I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Life can be hard. Maybe try to do an extra mitzva or chesed or learn more or write a gratitude journal. That just doesn't cut it. I've worked so hard to be a frum Jew, a dedicated husband and father. But I truly appreciate you're taking a public stand to say that people like me need to be accepted and not shunned or ignored or feel embarrassed for being angry. I'm not looking for the community to pity me. I'm not rebellious. I'm not trying to make up different rules. I truly believe in Hashem and his Torah and the purpose of the Jewish people, but it's hard to make sense of all the pains that I tell and to see what Jews and people all around the world are going through. So it's hard to feel I make a difference in Hashem's master plan or I should try any more to stay connected to Yiddishkeit. Thank you for helping me understand I'm not a failure. I do have hope that I can work my way back to caring, but mostly it will not be through the traditional channels. There are many people going through these experiences. Another one. I really enjoy your shiur, the emunah stories, but the shiur on anger most recently really hit home. I'm finding it really hard not to look at other people's success and lives without wanting that for myself. I would never want to chas v'shalom give anyone ayin hara. I know Hashem gives each person what is meant for them. But like the person in the anger shiur said, \"Why does a God who can give everything give some people more than others?\" I know we all get what we need, but realistically we all need partners and children and health and parnassah. And yet Hashem doesn't give that to everyone. How does emunah fit into this feeling of jealous? It's really hard to remember that Hashem has a plan. What if I don't like Hashem's plan for me? What if I want Hashem's plan for someone else? Why do some people deserve more than others? How am I meant to use emunah when I'm feeling like this? I'm not sure it makes sense, but I take a lot from the shiur. I appreciate some clarity on feeling this way. There are so many people struggling, so many people feeling this way. And the answer is not to push them away or make them feel shame or make them feel bad or make them feel guilty. The answer is to validate, to make them feel it's legit, it's understandable, but to not be a worrier, to be a warrior, to not allow these feelings to create distance, but to allow them to propel you to come closer, to be able to, this is exactly what we're learning about and what we're to turn to right now, to daven, to have greater emunah. When a person's emunah is feeling compromised or broken, to actually not use that as a reason to close the siddur or Tehillim or to stay silent, but to propel and to push you to daven. Hashem, let me see you clearly, let me feel you. Hold me up. Let me understand why you're doing this in my life. One more. I've got a one, two, three, four-page dissertation. And I read every single letter and word and sentence in it. And it's a story of a person's life that absolutely blew me away, had an enormous impact on me. And I can't and won't read the whole thing and I don't have, he gave me permission to excerpt part of it. But he too tells the story, \"I was angry at Hashem. Not raging angry, I just didn't care about him anymore. I knew he put me through these tough times and I associated my relationship with him with pain and sadness. And in so many ways I still do. I knew that he gave me a shot, a vaccine of sorts to heal me, but it was painful. It lasted so many years. I was young and dumb and searching for something bigger. Why did he have to hurt me? My life was moving forward in a positive way and to allow myself to go back to that time and place and feel those feelings was off limits. With the help of my amazing wife, therapy, the emunah shiur, I found the courage to go back. The letter you read a few weeks ago of the individual who suffered so much pain from Hashem spoke to me so deeply. Listening to those words was exactly what I have to say to Hashem and so much more for so many years. It's exactly how I felt but I always felt bad saying it out loud. After all, who am I...\" I talk to God. But you know what you did for me? Maybe he should understand too. And then I heard you say that this individual actually had such a special relationship with Hashem, and I wondered if I had the same. I listened to you talk about how he controls everything in our life. I listened to how you talk about amuna for hours. And after all these years and all this pain and all the trauma, I finally said to myself, I have no idea why I went through what I did, why I got to a point where the pain was so unbearable that I considered whether I wanted to continue my life. But that somehow, the same way and some way, it was exactly how my life was supposed to be. It was exactly written for me. And so I let go and I let God, and I stopped worrying and I started warrioring. I stopped worrying and I started warrioring. And as I write this letter, I can tell you that I've connected in ways I never felt in my life. By accepting the fact that I don't know why my life was and is the way it was and is, but it always has been and currently is and always will be exactly what my father and my God wants it to be. I'm finally able to see mercy in Hashem, able to see mercy in myself. I have a long way to go, but I have moments of feeling so connected it's hard to put into words. Being able to release all that pain and hurt towards Hashem that I held inside for so many years, it's extremely valuable and validating. Hearing your interpretation of that email was even more important. I want to thank you for the kind words to people struggling. You didn't point the finger and you didn't shame, you did the exact opposite. You pointed out how deep and powerful the relationship is. And as a result, at least one of your other listeners has been able to somewhat heal from years of trauma. Hashem should continue to give many more years of shiurim, and one of these days I'll make an effort to meet you in person in Boca Raton. I want to end by sending a message similar to what the other individual wrote, but from the opposite side of the spectrum. And again, I want to thank you and thank the writer for sharing that letter. I'm only able to do this because of that. And so he shared his own letter to Hashem. Hashem, I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I finally found the strength to do so. You've harassed me. You've harassed me, you hurt me, you terrorized me, and most of all, you allowed me to suffer alone, in quiet and isolation. You taunted me and left me with scars. You made me feel worthless and meaningless. You didn't show me the light. And even as I cried to you in pain, you stood there smiling with cruelty and made my suffering even worse. You pushed me to the point of no return, and it felt like you then kept pushing. And all I can say is, thank you. I don't really get why you did it. I can maybe see how and why in some minor ways, but I still don't really get it. And I may never really know in this world. However, I believe that you did to me exactly what I needed. I believe that you were there the whole time, that you were not just holding my hand, but holding me. I returned to you fully and I say, please continue to help me. Hopefully from here on in it won't be as painful, but hopefully if pain comes, I'll be much more prepared to deal with it, namely that I hope that I can let go and let God. Please Hashem, help me let go and let God. Hashem, please stay with me. Help me find you, help me heal, help me move forward and continue to build. What a letter. And that's exactly what we're learning. That's what Rav Dovid Abuchatzeira is saying, is to take the pain and turn it into prayer. Don't walk away from the amuna, lean in closer. Be angry. Be validated in that anger. The tzad hashaveh, the common denominator of all these emails. I've barely read you any. I've gotten on WhatsApp and I've gotten on email, I've gotten from all over. And the common theme of all was, everywhere else it's making me feel shame and guilt and feeling alone for how I feel. And the beginning of the way back is to feel validated and to say it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel abandoned or angry. The question is what you do with it, how you channel it, where you go with it. In this long email dissertation he tells a great idea which I'll use to then transition back into our learning. A mashal of a man who came to shamayim after 120, and they showed him in his life, they showed him his life in pictures. In each picture, there were two sets of footsteps: one of the man's and one of Hashem's, as Hashem was with him throughout his life. And then the man got to the scenes of life that were particularly challenging, and lo and behold, there were only one set of footsteps. Upset by this, the man turns to Hashem and asks why Hashem left at these points. Why he left him, why was he all alone? After all, these were the most difficult times. This is when he needed Hashem more than ever. If anything, this is when he needed Hashem in his corner. Hashem looked back at him and he smiled. You have it all wrong, Yedela. During those moments, you only see one set of footprints because I was carrying you. The rest of the time in your life I was with you. I walked with you by your side, but in the most challenging times, it was I who carried you. I held you like a mother holds her child. So sometimes during those very moments where you feel like there's only one set of footsteps, it's because of those very moments a person is being carried. I wish I could frame this one. So unbelievable, unbelievable letter. They're all unbelievable letters. Please, keep writing them. You make the amuna shiur. All of you who write these letters and send these letters, I have the privilege of just reading them, maybe too fast, but I have the privilege of just reading them. But all the people, all the people who are writing them, you make the amuna shiur. And, and I can't emphasize this strongly enough. How often I get an email that says, \"The last person who wrote a letter changed my life.\" It's not me. So if you're feeling it, and you have the courage and the conviction and the calmness and the clarity to write it, write it. Write it for you, because I think that process is important. And write it for me, because I have an amuna shiur to give. And write it for the people listening, because you never know which letter is going to hit what person right when they need it, and it literally has the ability to change and impact lives. Is there anything more meaningful than several people who write, \"I heard that letter and the response to it and I went back to shul?\" It starts with kiddush. They'll make their way back into shul. It starts one day a week and making it more often. So we're on page Kuf Chaf Zayin, 127, Shaarei Tefilah of the great Rabbi Dovid Abuchatzeira. Again, want to thank our anonymous donor who gave us 75 copies of this sefer. And we're exactly on the top of the right hand column. Bachach perush, and this is the interpretation of the Yismach Moshe. You have a, I don't know if you heard, we went to Ukraine and Hungary this past summer. I'm just joking, it's because I don't stop talking about it. So we were at the kever of the great Yismach Moshe, the Yismach Moshe. So the Yismach Moshe in his commentary Tefilah L'Moshe on Tehillim, he writes the following. הבקשה שמבקשים שבענו מטובך. We say it in our davening on Shabbos. Sabenu mi'tuvecha. Sabenu means make me feel satisfied, mi'tuvecha, from your good. כי הנה הגם כי בוודאי הקדוש ברוך הוא עושה טובות בכל עת. God does good at all moments and at all times. כי אמרינן ועל נסיך שבכל יום עמנו ועל נפלאותיך וטובותיך שבכל עת. We say in Modim, one of my personal favorite prayers. You have to concentrate in Modim every day, pause and say thank you. There is so much to be grateful and thankful for. With all that's missing and all we need and all we want and all we wish we had, if you pause to realize what's there. We woke up today, I have my faculties, a roof over my head, a car to drive, I have whatever I have, על נסיך שבכל יום עמנו. The miracles of every day. v'al niflotecha, on the wonders, v'tovotecha, and your goodness, b'chol eit. רק שאיננו מרגישים בהם. The problem is we don't feel them. We take them for granted. How many of you, how many of us, actually pause today to say, \"Thank God I can see.\" Both my eyes are working. \"Thank God I can walk.\" \"Thank God I can…\" It's when the person needs the knee replacement or the hip replacement or this replacement or that replacement, that's when they say, \"I it takes me forever to get from here to there. I took for granted the ability to walk.\" I remember several years ago when I tore my Achilles playing ball, I had to have surgery. And I was, it was miserable. Six months of rehab and casts and soft casts and hard casts and after the surgery. And I'll never forget the first morning I got up, and I tried to go with my cup of coffee, but I was on this knee scooter and I couldn't hold the cup of coffee and go on the knee scooter, and I just felt, how did I take for granted the ability to just carry a cup of coffee from one corner to the next? It's a small, tiny thing, but you know what it is? It's a miracle. על נסיך שבכל יום עמנו. The ability that your Achilles work. Your Achilles work. The Achilles, the tendon in the back of the calf that allows your little foot to hold up your tall, big body in equilibrium and balance. It's unbelievable. If I give anyone here the exercise, if I give anyone here the homework, say go to Lowe's, go to Home Depot, buy the materials, and build a golem, build a robot, build something that is tall and heavy and weighs whatever it does, none of us will say ours right now, and the foot, whatever size you are, 9, 10, 11, a foot, 12 inches long, and have that hold up… of the entire body using a tendon in the back of the leg. It's a miracle. It's really hard. I couldn't do it if I spend my whole life on it. I have no idea where to begin. It's a miracle. And we wake up in the morning, we put our feet on the ground, we stand up, we take steps, we can balance with a cup of coffee and not spill it on ourself or others, and we just run and we just go do it and we don't think about it and we never say thank you for it. And you know when you realize it? When you tear your Achilles. When you rip your Achilles. And when you have to have surgery to put back your Achilles and you can't walk, and now you're on a knee scooter. I fell off that knee scooter so many times. My children have a collage of videos from the shul security cameras, from our home, of me falling off that new because you got to go slowly, and I don't move in life slowly. And I couldn't move and you fly and it's, it was miserable. And I still to this day, now years later, try to remember and say thank you. I could walk. I can carry. I can balance. These are נסיך שבכל יום עמנו. נפלאותיך וטובותיך שבכל עת. These are miracles and wonders in every moment. But אין אנו מרגישים בהם. We don't feel them, we don't notice them, we don't pause to say thank you for them. כמבואר במסכת שבת, וְיִשְׁעוֹן יִשְׂרָאֵל, גמרא בשבת דף יג. ישועת ישראל פעמים שהיא גלויה ופעמים שהיא מכוסה. And the miraculous salvation, the answer that Hashem provides, that sometimes is revealed and sometimes is hidden. וכשהיא מגולה היא מוסיפה שמחה לכל לב לעבודתו יתברך. And when it is a revealed wonder, then we see it. And then it increases the joy and the happiness of the heart to serve him. So Iran launches hundreds of drones and ballistic missiles, and they're knocked out of the sky using a technology the whole world said was impossible to build. It's the it's the open revealed hand of Hashem. It's a revealed miracle. וזהו שאנו מבקשים שתהיה הישועה מגולה, ונשבע ממנה על דרך שאמרו חז\"ל שהסומא כיוון שאינו רואה אינו יודעה, ולכן אנו מבקשים לראותה ולשבוע מטובה. These words that we say, Sabeinu mi'tuvecha. It means let us be gratified and satisfied from your goodness. Unlike the hidden miracles that we don't see, we don't know and we can't be thankful for, let us see and know and notice. Let us appreciate and articulate with gratitude the good that you are doing. It's a tfilla that we're living with amuna. Sabeinu mi'tuvecha. It's a whole new taitsch, the Heilige Yismach Moshe, that I mentioned we went to his kever this summer. The great Yismach Moshe, the Heilige Yismach Moshe. It's a new taitsch, a new explanation. Until now, we understood the word Sabeinu mi'tuvecha, Hashem, I could walk around hungry with an empty stomach or sabeinu mi'tuvecha, fill up my belly. Give me a great steak, potatoes, onions, give me some good, Sabeinu. Fill up my bank account, fill up my stomach, fill up my home, fill up my life with your goodness. Sabeinu mi'tuvecha. I want bracha. I want the flow of blessing. That's the simple understanding. Comes along the Heilige Yismach Moshe and he says no. Pshat is, Tuvecha is already coming. Sabeinu. Let me be satisfied and gratified by it. Let me see it. Let me notice it. Let it register with me. Let me appreciate it. Sabeinu mi'tuvecha. Let me live a life of amuna. Let me see through amuna glasses. Let me feel your hand everywhere. Let me not take anything for granted. From the ability to pour a cup of coffee and carry it for myself, to the ability to walk, the ability that both of my eyes I can see, the ability that I can drive, the ability that I can, these are miracles. These are miracles. A man in our shul recently turned 95. We, kein ayin hara, bli ayin hara, al tiftach peh l'satan. We have a a minyan of people 90 and over. A couple over a hundred. Kein ayin hara, kein yirbu. It's, we're living in, talk about miraculous times, that alone, the longevity is unbelievable. This 95-year-old renewed his driver's license recently and he told me in the options, he qualified, he passed. He's very strong. He's a very special person in our community. He's strong. He leads davening. He has a loud voice. He sees clearly. He passed, to be able to renew his driver's license. And he told me, this is also such a like Jewish idea of faith and optimism and hope, in the options it gives you, he checked off, he renewed it for 10 more years. 10 more years. 10 more years. Halavai. Halavai. 10 more years. 10 more years. So, you know, until in life sometimes, someone takes away the keys. It's a very hard thing for people. when the children or grandchildren or the neighbor, or sometimes they ask the rabbi, it's time to take away the keys. If no one took your keys, you could drive, you can see, you could press on the pedal. When I tore my Achilles it was in my right leg, I had to learn to drive with my left foot. I wasn't supposed to drive, I just learned to drive with my left foot. Might have been safer though when I drive with my right foot. When you can drive with the right with the correct foot, you could see these are miracles. ניסיך שבכל יום עמנו. So that's the tefilah, sabenu mituvecha. The tuvecha is coming either way. I see it, I don't see it, I notice it, I don't notice it, it registers with me, it doesn't register with me. So I ask Hashem, sabenu, please Hashem, help me live and lead a life that's sabenu. I am filled and gratified. I'm satisfied in seeing you everywhere. Thank you, Hashem. It's an amazing cup of coffee, this great parking spot, this flight. No one ever tells the story of the flight, took on, took off on time, landed on time, had no turbulence, I had my drink, I had my snack, the Wi-Fi was working, there was an empty seat next to me. No one ever gets off such a plane and tells such a story. That's ניסיך שבכל יום עמנו. These are miracles in our time. For it all to come together and work out, that combination I just told you, we took off on time, landed on time, there was no turbulence, I had an empty seat next to me, the Wi-Fi was working, everything was good. That combination, it might be as miraculous as the hundreds of drones from Iran. It's a close second. But nobody gets off the plane. You're just on to the next thing. Am I taking an Uber? Are you picking me up from the airport? Where do I have to go? What's the next appointment? What's next? Does anyone ever stop on the tarmac, stop and say, oh, shkoyach Hashem. Sabenu mituvecha. I am, I am savea. I'm so gratified and satisfied from your goodness. Thank you. Thank you, there was no traffic. Thank you, carpool worked out on time. Thank you, the cake came out of the oven and it looks good. Sabenu mituvecha. Thank you the deal went through. Thank you my paycheck was deposited. Thank you. Sabenu mituvecha. Thank you, I can carry the cup of coffee. Says the Yismach Moshe, sabenu mituvecha isn't just the ego, I need more and more and more. Sabenu, please help me feel satisfied. More and more and more. Sabenu mituvecha is we have what we need, we have what's coming to us, we have what's right to us. The tuvecha, that's automatic. The tuvecha is from Hashem. The tuvecha is כל מאן דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד. The tuvecha is from Hashem. What we're asking for is sabenu. Let it register. Let me have a hasaga. Let me have a hasaga. In the brachos, in Parshas Ki Savo, in the tochacha, before the harsh rebuke, the Torah tells us, Baruch ata b'voecha, baruch ata b'tzeisecha, there's a long list of blessings. The blessings that we merit to get. And among those blessings it says all these wonderful things will happen. Baruch pri vitnecha, pri admascha, you'll be fertile, you'll propagate, you'll propagate, your family will be healthy and happy and parnassa, wonderful blessings, great things. ובאו עליך כל הברכות האלה, all these blessings will come upon you, v'hisigucha. וואס מיינסטו והשיגוך? What does the word v'hisigucha mean? All these blessings will come upon you and v'hisigucha. V'hisigucha. What's v'hisigucha? If all the brachos came upon me, what do I need another blessing? What's v'hisigucha? What's v'hisigucha? So at my brother's Shabbos sheva brachos, his shver, Rabbi Lerner, זאל זיין געזונט און שטארק, the great wonderful Rabbi Lerner, should be well, told over the following. He quoted it over from I believe from Rav Sorotzkin. Hisigucha comes mi'lashon that the Raavad has a hasaga on the Rambam. To be masig, a hasaga is to grasp, is to understand, is to analyze, is to appreciate. A hasaga. Hisigucha means, ובאו עליך כל הברכות. You're gonna have all these blessings. But you know what the most important blessing of having all the blessings is? That you see the blessings. How many people who have the most blessed lives walk around the most miserable? And you want to say to them, you want to shake them. Look at your life! You have so much bracha. There's so much blessing. I understand. You wish you could tweak this, and you wish you could have a little more of that, and you wish a little less of that. But look how much blessing you have in your life. Are you out of your mind? You're risking it all by not appreciating it. You could lose it all by the fact that it doesn't register with you. ובאו עליך כל הברכות האלה, let all these blessings come upon, v'hisigucha, have a hasaga. Go through life, let it register that you have all these blessings. Yeah, this could be a little, I wish my knee didn't ache. I wish the back was a little I wish I slept a little better. I wish nobody guaranteed all these parts. When you got your body for free. When you got your body for free, you paid nothing for it. You got this incredible body. Whatever a phone or a laptop or a car costs, your body is infinitely more complex. And how much did you pay for it? Gornisht. Nothing. Not originally, there's no annual payment, there's no renewal, there's no upgrade. You got your body for free. So I have a little secret for you. It didn't come with any warranty on the parts. And those parts lasted much longer than they should in many cases. David HaMelech says that if you make it to 70 years, it's a long life. It's a long life. Today's day and age, baruch Hashem, with the gift of longevity that we have, 70 years, it's a it's a tragedy. Chalilah, somebody passed away at 70, you'd say it's a tragedy. It's premature, it's a tragedy. But David HaMelech said 70 years already, it's a good life. So the parts made it past 70, you never had a warranty, but certainly the warranty expired. So if you need something replaced at 80, at 90, at 90, like what what do we think? That it's all gonna be in perfect working order forever? It's gonna start to break down and fail. It's the way it is. A little pain, a little ache, a little krechts, a little, it's harder to remember everything. It's harder to see as far as you used to see. Baruch Hashem, I had the great bracha this past Sunday, one of my favorite kibbudim. I'm called up to read the kesubah. I love reading a kesubah. It's fun. I love reading a kesubah. The letters of this kesubah were so small. I'm 50 now. And as much as I don't bring my glasses to the shiurim because I'm still in denial and I don't want anyone to see, yesterday at the parsha they came out a little bit. I'm slowly coming to grips with it. I got up there to read that kesubah. I'm like, uh oh. Your your arm, they stop here. That's when you need the reading glasses. How do you know? I asked the ophthalmologist, \"How do I know when I need the reading glasses?\" He said, \"The book's gonna move further and further away from you, and when you run out of arms, that's when you need the reading glasses.\" That's how you know. That's how you know. So the eyes, they didn't come with a warranty. They didn't come with a warranty. You know what you'd have to pay for these lenses? If you went on Amazon, if you went to the electronics store, you know what you'd have to pay for these lenses, for these eyes? You got them for free. And you've had them 50 years for free. Every year renewed, upgraded. You never paid a penny. And there's no warranty. Okay. That's wow, it means you're alive. Baruch Hashem, this aches, that hurts a little bit, maybe even that needs... Baruch Hashem. That means you're alive. That means you're still here. That's the way it's supposed to go. That's what's supposed to happen. שבענו מטובך ובאו עליך כל הברכות האלה והשיגוך. Register the brachos. Okay. You're wearing reading glasses, not the end of the world. You're aging. People are trying to turn back the clock. We gave that shiur on Simchas Torah. It doesn't matter. I'm not criticizing anyone. Everyone do what they feel they need to do. Everyone's in a different place of life. God bless. God bless. Men, women, but the rate, it doesn't matter how much you color the hair, how much of the botox, how much of this treatment, how much of that shot. You can't turn back the clock. You can't stop father time, mother time. I don't remember which gender time is, and you're not supposed to gender anyway, so time, they, whatever time is. You can't stop it. You can't stop it, you can't turn it back, you can't slow it down. You could try, you may be fooling people, you're not fooling people, but you can't. You can't. The parts don't work better just because you made them a different color. It doesn't, the parts are still expiring. They're still expiring. Embrace... embrace your age. It's baruch Hashem. Embrace. I have the opportunity every... embrace. Saveinu mituvecha. Baruch Hashem. Baruch Hashem. This shiur is in memory of my dear and beloved friend, my brother, Brian Gefter. I used to... I'll end with this. I used to dread birthdays. I was that kind of person who was like, \"Oh, I'm not age,\" I'm getting older and you're turning that decade and now you're... and when Brian's neshama left his body, when he left this world, every year after I say, \"A birthday? Let's celebrate.\" Still here. Were you so annoyed you turned 40, you turned 50, you turned 80, you turned 90, you turned... are you out of your mind? Streamers and balloons. Saveinu mituvecha. I can't believe I'm this age. Shh, don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone. Scream it from the rooftops that age. Look that age. Be proud to look that age. Be grateful to be that age. Saveinu mituvecha. Enough already. You're not fooling anyone anyway. Saveinu mituvecha. Saveinu mituvecha, lean into it. It's amazing and it's fantastic and it's... wonderful. And Sabenu, says the Yismach Moishe, Sabenu, ובאו עליך כל הברכות האלה והשיגוך, hisigucha. Life is filled with so much bracha, let us have a hasaga. Let's grasp, let's hold on. So that's what we're davening for. You have to daven. If we're not, if we're struggling, ask Hashem for help. Hashem, help me see the bracha. I'm somebody who struggles, Hashem. That's what tefillah is for. Hashem, help me. I see what's missing, what's lacking, what hurts, what what where I have the ache, where I have the pain, what I wish was different, Hashem. That I see all clearly. Hashem, help me see you. Help me feel the bracha. Help me feel connected. That's why we're learning this. That's what Rav Dovid'l B'Chasdei is getting at. That's the Yismach Moishe and the Zera Kodesh. Hashem no'chach ishto. Yitzchak was saying, Hashem, Rifka right now, she's in a bad place. She just wrote a letter to Rabbi Goldberg's Emunah shiur. Rifka's in a bad place. She's in a bad place. She wants a child so bad. It's the worst. She's waiting. She's in a bad place. Hashem, no'chach ishto. vaya'atar Yitzchak, kama? Hashem no'chach ishto. Hashem, please stay opposite her. Please let her continue to see you. Let her lean in on you. Let her not be a worrier, let her be a warrior. Hashem, ובאו עליך כל הברכות let her still sabenu mituvecha. Let Rifka see, what a bracha she still has. First, she's married to me. Second of all, she's building the future of the Jewish people, that she's in a tent just like her mother-in-law where the candles stay lit from week to week and there's a bracha in her challah. Sabenu Hashem, sabenu mituvecha. That's what Yitzchak was davening. Hashem no'chach ishto. Hashem stay opposite her. No matter what else is missing, let her see you. That's what we're davening for for ourselves. v'hisigucha, that we can chap it, it'll register with us, see it, we'll feel satisfied and gratified by all the goodness, even with whatever is missing. Okay, we'll turn off the recording to continue with opening the floor to any questions and answers, any topic, halacha, hashkafa, life, controversial. We're here to take any topic. For everyone else listening or watching online, stay happy, stay healthy.
