Transcript
Okay, good morning. Boker tov, good morning. Welcome back to Living with Emuna. Thank you for flexibility. There was an air conditioning issue elsewhere in the building, so we had to come here. The men are in there with the air conditioning issue? No, no, the school has to move because there's another room. But thank you so much for your accommodation and greatly appreciate. Emuna series is generously sponsored by Dr. Zvi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Shanzer, and for a shmira of all of our precious and holy Israeli soldiers and may the hostages come home. This morning's shiur is sponsored by a fun couple in LA in honor of their wedding anniversary, who I guess define being fun as sponsoring the Emuna shiur, which is a new bar for being fun. No, but happy anniversary to them. Thank you so much for your generosity. And anonymously in honor of Dr. Aryeh Graber, a cousin of Dr. Brian Galbut, who continues his legacy in ways he and his family lead their lives. We're grateful for the sponsorship and generosity. It's great to see everyone. It's great to be so many together. Big thank you to those who shlepped up from Hollywood, had to wake up early and fight the traffic. Wow. Welcome. It's wonderful, so happy to have you here. Okay, we have a few emails and stories and then we'll dive back into our learning and our text together as we continue to study Emuna u'Bitachon of the great Rav David Abuhatzeira. This is a story that I received a WhatsApp from Sarah Zimbalist, mother of the, we'll see in this story in a moment, and I was blown away by the story. You may have seen it shared elsewhere afterwards as well. I want to share with you a story that's a mixture of pain, hope, and light, just like the times that we've been living in since the war. One year ago on the ninth of Sivan, the disaster occurred in Gaza in which eight combat engineers were killed. And one of them was Eliyahu Moshe Zimbalist, a twenty-one-year-old from Beit Shemesh, he was known as Elimo. Eli Moshe had made aliyah with his family out of Zionism. He was a quiet, humble young man with golden hands. Another friend, somebody writes, another friend of mine went to visit the family during shiva. We left deeply moved by the strength and faith and the nobility of these dear people. On the way back, we couldn't stop thinking how painful it is to lose such a soul, how heartbreaking it is that such amazing young men have fallen. We felt a deep need to do something to carry on Elimo's light and not let it fade. And then we came up with a simple yet profound idea. On this day, out of brokenness, we try to create a connection. We'd simply try to make a match. So they left the shiva and this neshama, these eight neshamot had left the world, Hashem yikom damam, these holy soldiers next to the Kisei HaKavod were killed that day. So people that went to a shiva call and learned how extraordinary Eli Moshe, Elimo, was, said, you know what, in his zchut, we'll try to make a shidduch, we'll make a match. They left this world, we'll bring people together who will continue to populate this world. We started thinking of names, exchanging ideas. We talked about my cousin and then my friend had a spark of inspiration and suddenly everything clicked. I reached out to a guy, an officer in the Givati unit who was then in Gaza. He responded only a few days later in the middle of the night and said it wasn't the right time. You think? You know, guys give all kinds of excuses why it's not the right time, but I think fighting in the front line in Gaza is a pretty good one. There's some seats around here with Tamar. Come sit over here. Some seats over here. I'm allowed to call her out by name. A few months later, he came back to me. Tamar, come around. I saved your seat right over here. A few months later, he came back to me and asked if it was still relevant. And writes the person who wrote this, and today they're getting married. He left Gaza two days ago straight to the chuppah. And only afterwards, this is what happened, let me just summarize. The people who had attended this shiva, who were blown away by the legacy of Eli Moshe, walked out saying we need to do something and why not try to make a shidduch and bring people together? And then brainstormed of a shidduch, but the guy was busy killing bad people in Gaza, so he wasn't available and free then. But a few months later said how about now, we give it a shot? And the two got engaged and got married. And the soldier left Gaza two days before his chuppah to essentially go straight to his wedding canopy. And the people who had paid that shiva call and who thought of and made that shidduch, only afterwards when we sat down to catch our breath, we realized the heart-stirring detail. The wedding took place exactly one year to the day that Eli Moshe fell. The wedding was on the yahrtzeit. A year after he was taken, a new home in Israel is being built because of him, in his light. So there are no coincidences, nothing's random or chance. That chuppah was scheduled in Shamayim for the actual yahrtzeit of the person who inspired from Shamayim that incredible, that incredible wedding. So that gave solace to the Zimbalists, it gave them some comfort that their son is still doing extraordinary things from up above, being mezaveg zivugim and bringing couples together, and that in his zchut when they left the shiva learning about him, were determined to make a shidduch. And it turns out no one intentionally because the couple didn't even know that they were set up in memory of someone, so when they chose a wedding date they had no idea to make it coincide with the yahrtzeit of the person who inspired the shidduch being made. That's your neighbor. Which is your neighbor? I mean from when I lived... my mom's neighbor, Noa Feldstein. Oh, yeah, incredible. Or whatever her last name is. Yes, it's an amazing amazing story. Okay, next email. I want to share with you multiple mini stories that have happened over the course of my husband and my aliyah process. I truly feel Hashem's hand pushing us and validating for us moving to Israel is the right thing. In just one week a few weeks ago, we willingly were both quitting our jobs and going to reapply to new jobs in Israel and davened that we each get jobs quickly after our move. However, my husband spoke to his company on the willing chance that maybe they would let him stay and work in Israel. He told them we were moving due to antisemitism in America, among other factors. To our surprise, they felt sympathetic and said they would do everything they could to let him stay and wish they told him he could take a leave of absence in the summer to move and work remotely at least until January, and then they would try to figure out a way to allow him to stay after the new year. January gives us a few months with a guaranteed income to find new jobs if necessary. That same week, a girl in our community texted me she was moving into our building and wanted to buy our furniture that we're desperately trying to sell before we move, whereas another couple bought a few of our appliances also that same week. One of my mother's friends also reached out that she sent my resume to her company in Israel. They were highly interested and wanted me to reach out when I moved. Fast forward to today, we did not know that we needed to send all our documents including our passports to review before our aliyah interview. It seemed like the only way to not ship them in was to travel to New York. With moving, it is chaotic time to go and we're leaving in July 15th, need our passports. I was stressed, unsure what to do. I reached out to a girl recently moved to my community who works for the Jewish Agency. She reached out someone who works in an office where I live and now we're meeting him to review our documents locally in a week. I'm sure I could think of more, but these are just numerous ways in which uncertainty and emunah resulted in Hashem's support in our move to Israel. Just shows when you align your will with Hashem's and put in the work, He will do the rest. Sometimes that is all you have to do. Okay, next. A lot of people making aliyah who listen to the emunah shiur. I don't know which direction. If you make aliyah, you need to listen to the emunah shiur, or if you listen to the emunah shiur it motivates you to make aliyah. I don't know, the chicken and the egg. Both. First of all, I want to thank you so... one day we'll give the emunah shiur im yirtzeh Hashem from Eretz Yisrael, from Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh. First of all, I want to thank you so much, Living with Emunah. I recently made aliyah during high school. While I realize how big of a zechus it is to live in Israel, I've come to appreciate it more and more. Aliyah comes with a lot of challenges. The shiur has really helped me see Hashem in every move and let go and let God during the challenges that aliyah brings. One of these small yet still hard challenges has been process to getting a license, which is much more difficult than in America. I've been taking many lessons and have failed more than a few tests. The shiur has helped me always remember that while I put in my hishtadlus taking lessons and learning from my mistakes, whenever Hashem wants me to pass, I'll pass. Helps me relax knowing Hashem is really the one driving the car. I have a question that has struck me with some time. While having complete emunah in Hashem instills within us the knowledge that Hashem is in complete control of our every detail of life, hashgacha pratis, it's natural to still feel anxious even while holding onto our emunah. It lowers our anxiety a lot for sure, but for many not completely. My question is, where does the line between learning to manage anxiety like using coping strategies and building stronger emunah meet? How do I know when I should be putting in more of an emphasis on one over the other? Thank you again, I really appreciate taking time to read this. So this is a question we've talked about many times over the years that we've been learning emunah together. Two questions really. One is the balance between initiative and emunah. That's what we've been learning together now in our sefer Emunah u'Bitachon. Where is that line? Hashem, right, we said two weeks ago's parsha, that Hashem tells Moshe, you do yours and I'll do mine. Don't try to do my job, you're not going to do it better than I do, Hashem says. And don't expect me to do your job, you still need to do yours. For all of us, we live a life, where is that line? We have to go to the doctor. We have to live a healthy lifestyle. We have to work and try to earn our parnassa. We have to network and meet with shadchanim and put our name out there. We have to in every realm and in every area of life, we have our work that we have to do and then there's get out of the way and let Hashem do His work. Don't try to do His job for him, don't micromanage Hashem, don't get in His way and interfere, don't, let Hashem do His. Where is that line? Where is that line? It's a failure and breakdown of emunah when you do excessive hishtadlus. Trying to do God's job for him is obviously a breakdown in faith in Him. But by the same token, a failure to take enough initiative because you are in a counterfeit emunah waiting for Him to do your job, He sits and He says, nice try buddy, you've got to do your job, I'm not doing it for you. You can't work one hour a day and think you're going to make a living. Can imagine a person says I want to work one hour a day, I read Tim Ferriss's 4-Hour Workweek. I want to work four hours in the whole week and yet pay my bills. Tim Ferriss doesn't pay day school tuition. He didn't have to pay for matzah on Pesach. He didn't have... so I want to work a four-hour workweek and still pay my bills. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, nice try. That's not reasonable. That's not reasonable. In the world today you have to work a reasonable amount of time if you expect to earn a living from it. So where is that line between our initiative and faith? What's our job and where is when he does the rest? Each situation's different, each person's different, each circumstance's different, and it's up to us to work and to try to figure out where that line is. It can be blurry, it can be complicated, it can be confusing, but that's up to us to live it. The other question that the author of that email asked is, Emuna helps us manage anxiety, but is it wrong if it doesn't eliminate it altogether? And here, I've shared several times the insight of Rav Bender Shlita, the Rosh Yeshiva of Darchei, who is a wonderful, wonderful, very inspiring person, I love. So he writes in one of his Sfarim on Chumash on Parsha the following. When the Torah tells us that in the Shmita year the farmer may say in the sixth year, V'chi Tomar when you'll say Mah Nochal, what am I going to eat? Unpaid sabbatical? Don't work my fields in the seventh year? What am I going to eat? What am I going to eat? You know we live in a time where some merit a paid sabbatical. Professors tenured at universities, in some cases rabbis, they get a paid sabbatical. It doesn't take a lot of courage to have a paid sabbatical. When the paycheck is still being transferred to your bank account, it doesn't take enormous courage. But when the farmer observes Shmita, and we've been privileged in our community to host farmers who observe Shmita, when a farmer observes Shmita they shut it all down. There's no income, there's no nothing flowing in. And they say, what am I going to eat? How am I paying the bills? How am I paying? Hashem says don't worry, I got your back. I'm going to give you enough in the sixth year to cover the sixth year, the seventh year, and the eighth year. Wow, what a promise. Which parenthetically some bring as evidence that the Torah was written by Hashem not man, because in a religion if man wrote the Torah and made that promise, don't worry in the sixth year you'll grow enough for the sixth, seventh, and eighth year, how long would that religion be around? Shortly. Six years. Because if in the sixth year it didn't grow enough for those three years and you couldn't control it, then people would say, it's a joke, this is not a real religion, some man made it up. Only HaKadosh Baruch Hu, only the omnipotent, infinite, almighty God who can make good on that promise would actually make that promise, which he makes. So why the Torah formulated it in V'chi Tomar when a person will say Mah Nochal, what am I going to eat? Why didn't the Torah simply tell the farmer observe Shmita and take a deep breath, relax, in the sixth year you're good to go, you got enough for six, seven, and eight? Why does it have to be precipitated, why did it have to be prompted by Mah Nochal, the farmer's going to say what am I going to eat? What am I going to eat? So there's a lot of answers to that question, we've studied some of them. One of them is that we only receive the Shefa Bracha, the Bracha only flows when we ask for it. HaKadosh Baruch Hu has Shefa upstairs. Hashem has so much Bracha for us. But he doesn't transfer, he doesn't give us, we studied this as well, we each have a trust fund in heaven. But HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't give us access to the heavenly trust fund filled with blessing and the blessing is not necessarily material and physical. It's not necessarily measured in dollars. The trust fund could be good health and Nachas, it could be all kinds of things. But Hashem says you can't access it without asking. I want a relationship with you. So you don't get it without the relationship. You need to ask. That's why when Hashem created the world, he created a world with an eco-cycle where it was supposed to rain. There's precipitation, there's evaporation, I've just used all the fancy words I know for the ecosystem, now I've just exhausted my knowledge of that area, but there's some system where it's supposed to rain. But Hashem didn't press go, he didn't press start on it until when? Day six. Why? Who came on day six? Man. And what did man do on day six? He Davened. Because God gave man the power of speech, which differentiated man, Vayipach Be'apav God breathed life into us, and Onkelos translates as Ruach Memalela he gave us the power of speech. What differentiated man from animal is the power of speech. And why did we need to speak? When Hashem created the world and deposited man in it, to whom were we speaking? There's no one around. Who are we talking to? The answer is there was someone around, and the origin of speech, the original purpose of it was to talk to whom? The whole purpose, the whole origin. It's convenient that we also have speech to talk to one another. But if you ask why was speech created, what's its original purpose and intent, is to talk to Hashem, to talk to the Ribono Shel Olam. That's why. That's why we have the power of speech. That's why we were given speech. Speech differentiated us from man. So even though Hashem created the heaven and earth, and he created fields and fruits and vegetables and trees, and he created water and evaporation and precipitation and rain, he didn't press start or go, he didn't begin to make it rain until when? Day six, the creation of man. Why? Because only when man says Hashem said good, now that you asked, I'm ready to give. I need you to ask, not because Hashem has some ego, but he craves and he wants the relationship. מתאווה לתפילתן של צדיקים. Hashem has shefa bracha. He's got all kinds of unimaginable beyond our comprehension blessing waiting for us. And he's waiting for us to pour out our hearts to him in order to transfer it to us. And how it gets transferred, sometimes we can see clearly, and other times it feels like he's not transferring it, where is it? But he knows what he's doing and how he does it, and he's waiting for us. He's waiting for us. So manoichal was what needed to prompt the promise of there'll be enough to grow in year six, seven, and eight. First you had to ask, what are we going to eat? That's one interpretation. But this was a long-winded way of telling you Rav Bender. Rav Bender says, why does the Torah formulate it as first we have to say manoichal, what are we going to eat? Listen to this Rav Bender. Listen to what he says. Because there's nothing wrong with worrying manoichal. The Torah here with tremendous compassion validates the person who says, I'm a bit worried, what are we going to eat? Torah doesn't come down and say chutzpah! You lack of emunah! Koifer! Am ha'aretz! What's the matter with you? What are you asking? Don't you listen to the emunah shiur? Where's your emunah? How dare you ask manoichal? Torah says manoichal is a reasonable question. It's understandable. I'm validating that you feel worried, what are you going to eat? So let me reassure you, Hashem's in charge, Hashem's in control, Hashem's got you back. But the original feeling, that feeling of manoichal, what am I going to eat? It's valid. It's legit. It's okay. Don't feel shame, don't feel guilt, don't feel bad that you feel it. So this is my answer, if you remember that far back, we started this because somebody wrote in the letter that is it wrong if emunah's very helpful in managing feeling anxious, but it doesn't eliminate it altogether? To which I want to answer two very important things. Number one, when we talk about anxiousness or anxiety, there's clinical, and it's really a shame we use the same word in both contexts. But there's clinical anxiety, diagnosed, mental health, nothing wrong, certainly no shame around it either, but needs sometimes medicine, therapy, support, treatment, nothing wrong, and emunah is not going to be the only answer for that. No shame, no guilt, but it needs to be addressed. And then there's just the other everyday anxiousness. Is our flight going to take off on time? What's going to happen during finals? Are the kids going to pass their test? Will our summer plans work out? Am I going to get a call from camp? I've got to pick up my kid. There's all the other rest of the the issues that come up, that come up, and for that, the Torah says manoichal, the Torah validates there's nothing wrong. When we feel that original tinge of a shtickel anxiousness, Torah says take that deep breath, take that neshima to restore your neshama, take that deep breath, restore your godly soul and remember, there's a plan. Embrace your place, you are where you're meant to be, Hashem has a plan, relax, let go, let God and every other cliché that we have. Remember Hashem's in charge. So, but it's okay, don't feel guilt or shame for the original little anxiousness, and even if in the background there's still some anxiousness playing, but overriding it you're taking that deep breath to manage and remember, there's a plan, and we are where we're meant to be, and it's going to be good, that's what Hashem wants. So this was all a long way of saying, don't feel bad, guilty or ashamed if there's still a little bit of anxiousness, that's understandable, so much so that the Torah validates us for it. Yesterday Yocheved and I were traveling back from a wedding and the weather was terrible in New York, and you never want to hear your pilot say this when he gets on the loudspeaker and he tells you, weather's pretty bad, excellent chance we're going to time out waiting, we boarded you because it's better to have you on the plane than off of it, we're going to pull back from the gate because at least then it gets the clock started and pretends we're on line, but there's a good chance we're not going anywhere. Enjoy the pretzels. Now baruch Hashem, after only an almost two-hour wait, we did take off and we landed safely, and the main thing was working, which was the plane and baruch Hashem, it was all fine and I have to tell you, no complaints, because if you have Wi-Fi and you have your laptop and you have a sefer and you have a snack because Jews have their little carry-on luggage and then their big snack in case lunch, dinner, breakfast the next day in case we're stuck on the plane overnight for the domestic flight, that's how Jews all travel, so you're good to go, what's the difference? Just embrace your place and it's all good. Now do you feel a little anxious? Are we going to take off? Will we make it? What's going to be? The kids need us home to work on finals, there's a board meeting we've got to get back. Yeah, it's okay to feel that, manoichal, it's okay, it's okay, and then take your neshima, restore your neshama and say, it's not going to make the plane take off any faster. That little anxiousness is not going to make the plane take off any faster. faster. And eventually take off. Thank you Rabbi Goldberg for allowing this platform, system, to be able to send the emuna emails to you and strengthen mine, Klal Yisrael's emuna. I was driving just now looking for a parking spot and I, this is going to go on the parking spot chapter in our book eventually. Got the airplane chapter, the parking spot chapter, shidduch chapter, that maybe a book on its own. And I saw one immediately, but I drove past it and I couldn't back up to get the spot because there was a car behind me. This happened twice and I was a bit exasperated and concerned if I'd get the spot. I took a deep breath and said gam zu l'tova. Hashem must want me to keep listening to Rabbi Goldberg's emuna shiur instead. And Baruch Hashem, I got my spot. Not only that, the exact moment I pulled into the spot was the moment I finished the episode of the shiur. Thank you as always, especially for your shiurim and stories related to shidduchim which give me tremendous chizuk. So again, those are little moments which you could either ignore and not notice, I got a spot, I got to run, I got to go, I got to do, I'm running late, or you could pause and say, I didn't get the other spot because I would have turned off the shiur, I got the spot I was meant to get in time to simultaneously finish the shiur, a wink, a nod, a hug from above, who doesn't need that and want that? It's beautiful and wonderful when we get one of those from Hashem. It feels incredibly, incredibly special. Okay, one more. This was really powerful. They're all powerful, everyone who writes, thank you for writing. I don't get to read all of them out loud, but I read every single one of them and respond to them because they have a big impact on me. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, shiur living with emuna, thank you for the compliments, yada yada yada, means everything to me. Let me tell you a story in lieu of compliments, just know I could fill pages with compliments. Okay, thanks. Please do so and send them to my wife, goldbergmam@gmail.com. Three years ago, my husband and I, this is, listen to this email, it's very powerful. Three years ago, my husband and I lost our daughter when I was 34 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was a surprise, we had a young son, but we welcomed it. At 30 weeks we discovered something was severely wrong. After excruciating weeks of tests, our daughter was stillborn in September 2021, right on a yom tov. That year, the chagim didn't happen to us. We went from appointment to appointment while caring for our one-year-old. I have to be honest, I stopped believing in anything. I love Shabbos and traditions for the community they brought, but Hashem and I were disconnected. Six months later, I traveled to a city with a friend for a meditative getaway. On my last day alone at the center, I was strolling the grounds thinking about my daughter, the tremendous loss, the unfairness, wondering if this emptiness would ever fade. By a beautiful stream, a groundskeeper approached me. After I joked about jumping across and potentially getting hurt, he said, I just lost my 21-year-old son. I couldn't bear it if you got hurt. Less than a month before, his son had accidentally shot himself while cleaning his weapon. The father found comfort working among the butterflies because his son had loved them. I started sobbing. How could this man function, tell me this story, instead of being buried under a rock screaming? These tears felt different. Cathartic, filled with empathy rather than self-pity, gratitude rather than despair. I had a healthy son, a wonderful partner, beautiful family and friends. After months of crying for myself, it felt good to cry for someone else. I told him about my daughter, he offered me relief from my pain with his wisdom and kindness. I came home different. The loss remained, but with more context, more gratitude. I understand this was a challenge to endure. Three months ago I started listening to living with emuna. Only an episode in, it clicked. That man didn't save me, Hashem did. This was Hashem's way of saying he understood my pain while giving me perspective. My hug from Hashem. Life includes loss and challenge, but I can now hold friends' hands through their losses in ways others can't. And that itself is a gift. Hashem also blessed us with another beautiful daughter, almost two now, a gift to our family. Thank you for reminding me Hashem is with me, may everyone that listens feel as fortunate as I did. Again, a powerful perspective. Why'd she go to that retreat? Why'd she go for a walk near that stream? Why'd the man approach her? Why'd she make that joke? Why'd he make that comment? Why'd they have the conversation? Look how all of that transformed from crying only for herself to the capacity to cry for others, to be able to realize the grief and her pain positions her to hold the hands and help others, an entirely different perspective that she now interprets as a hug from Hashem, which is extraordinary and beautiful. And that's really what we're doing and what we're all working on here together, is finding a way to find and feel those hugs from above from Hashem, that our day and our life is not filled with randomness and chance, but our day is carefully curated and choreographed from above, it and everything in it was what was meant to be, and therefore to feel that whatever happens, the parking spot or you didn't get the parking spot, it's a hug from Hashem, and you circle again and you parked far away and the plane didn't take off and it didn't work out, and it's all a hug from Hashem, and that's really what this parsha, I'll end this with this parsha before we get back into our text, but this counts as the beginning of Basic arrangement was that we encamped and traveled based on Hashem. Based on Hashem. In previous generations we encamped and traveled based on whoever was in the passenger seat, right, my vivid memories of my childhood being in the backseat and watching my parents one driving and the other with a map blocking the whole windshield open up what's the best route from Teaneck to New Rochelle from here to there do we take the West Side Highway the FDR Drive there was no MapQuest certainly was no Waze there was no Google Maps there was no voice telling us where the police and where the accidents and where the traffic and where and how to get and so we had to guess and we had to listen and we had to argue about you missed on the eights the traffic you missed at 1010 WINS on the tens you missed and in antiquity we waited we waited so who was the one who told us then and now על פי השם יחנו ועל פי השם יסאו. When a special cloud over the Mishkan rose that signaled it was time to go and when the cloud descended it was time to unpack stay put it's where we're meant to be. Sometimes we're home sometimes we're on the road we find ourselves in different places at different times in different positions and the one thing that has to remain in this world and life that's filled with variables on the go moving go go go we're staying here or we're flying there we got a simcha there we're taking a vacation here we have a business trip there we our children this is such a global world we're living in in a world of so many variables and change the one constant is that it is all al pi Hashem it's all al pi Hashem. When the Torah means to tell us is that we don't leave our religion at home it comes with us we are who we are how we dress our daven our conduct our identity we don't leave it behind we take it with us wherever we go it is all al pi Hashem. But it also means al pi Hashem wherever we find ourselves we are in a place that we can find him. The Chasidim say the pasuk tells us malo ha'aretz kinyanecha in תהלים פרק קד that the world is filled with kinyanecha literally means the world is filled with everything you own Hashem but you could read it differently which is malo ha'aretz kinyanecha the world is filled with invitations and opportunities to acquire you to acquire you. You could sit on a plane and be annoyed that it's a two-hour delay or you could sit on a plane and have a conversation with him and acquire a relationship in which he's keeping you calm and grounded while you're grounded the whole time you're grounded. Every the whole world is filled with opportunity malo ha'aretz kinyanecha. You could see a sign in a pizza store and not notice it or you could see the sign in the pizza store that says embrace your place and say I just acquired a further relationship with Hashem malo ha'aretz kinyanecha the world is filled with opportunities and invitations to create and to lean into and to deepen our relationship with him on a flight on a cruise on a hike on a vacation on a business trip wherever we are whatever we're doing al pi Hashem we have to be guided by his expectations of us but also there's malo ha'aretz kinyanecha the opportunity to find him to find him. You know I can't encourage you strongly enough if you're blessed with not everybody is the chance to take some time off this summer. I know that for many people the only time they could take off are the Yamim Tovim. It's a luxury if you could actually vacation with your family count your blessings it's a luxury because there are many who the only time that they could take off is Yom Tov they need their days for Yom Tov. So if you could take times in addition to that count your blessings because you are truly blessed. And when you do get out go see nature because you could find Hashem the places to acquire Hashem is this world and natural world Hakadosh Baruch Hu is unbelievable he's unbelievable as we've shared many times ein tzur k'eloheinu there's no rock like our God ein tzayar Chazal say ein tzayar k'eloheinu there is no artist like Hashem he's the greatest artist but we don't notice it because when you're looking down and you're scrolling and you're texting you don't notice you don't notice the magnificent magnificent nature around us malo ha'aretz kinyanecha על פי השם יחנו על פי השם יסאו journey through your life and journey through your encampments by seeing Hashem. But the Shlah HaKadosh applied this pasuk and arrangement in a different way. The Shlah HaKadosh says our journeys and our encampments is an allusion to the attitude that everywhere we go and everything we do has to be al pi Hashem means we have to say Im yirtzeh Hashem and be'ezrat Hashem. We saw this we learned this in the sefer Rav David Abuhatzeira told us this in the last perek or two prakim ago we learned it. But now I'm bringing it to our parsha because that's where he got it from. That the Shlah Hakadosh רב ישעיה הלוי הורוביץ says that a Jew wherever they go and whatever they do should always say with God's help, God willing, if God pleases, Im Yirtzeh Hashem, Be'ezras Hashem, whatever language you want to say it in, but relate everything you're about to do to Hashem. We're pulling out of the driveway for carpool, Be'ezras Hashem we'll get there safely. Everything. We're going into negotiate the operating room, the boardroom, the courtroom, we're going into the supermarket, we're putting the kugel in the oven, we're hitting the first off the first tee of the golf course, everything is Im Yirtzeh Hashem, Be'ezras Hashem, with God willing. God willing, it's a little tefillah. הלואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום כולו. Halevai we would daven the entire day long. What, imagine how different your day looks if every part of your day is filled with God willing, Be'ezras Hashem. Not the God willing that's a cliché that you don't really pay attention or mean when you say it, but the God willing that you mean when you say it. Yes, God willing, I'll meet you there for lunch. God willing, the meetings will go well. God willing, I'm flying at this time. God willing, I'll pick you up. God willing, God willing, Be'ezras Hashem. Listen to his words. כגון בלכת בדרך יאמר הנני עושה בעזרת השם יתברך. Every time you go on the road say, not a Tefillas Haderech. There are rules and parameters for when you say Tefillas Haderech, so don't say the full Tefillas Haderech. But not every time you go on the road do you say the full Tefillas Haderech, but every time you go on the road you say Be'ezras Hashem Yisborach. Be'ezras Hashem Yisborach. I'm driving to, let us not break down, let us not get hit by another car, let us not get stuck in traffic, let the car not break down. There's a lot that has to go right. We feel entitled and we take for granted, so we just assume we're going to get to our destination without even remembering that we drove there. You know when you remember it? When you're on the side of the road with a flat tire, when the car breaks down, when the traffic's at a standstill and not moving. Then all of a sudden you feel why me, woe is me. But when you got where you were going with no traffic and no incident, you never say why me, why did we get there so quickly, why did we hit every green light, why did the car work, why is the air conditioning working, why did everything work out? You never say why me. We only say why me when something goes wrong. We don't say why me when it all goes right. Says the Shlah Hakadosh, say why me when it goes right. Begin every journey by saying Be'ezras Hashem. ודעתי לחנות במקום פלוני בעזרתו יתברך אם ירצה נמצא ששם שמיים שגור בפיו שעה שעולה במחשבתו ובשעת מעשה כך בכל פעולה. So not only when you journey, when you pull out of the driveway, when you get on the plane, everywhere you go you say Im Yirtzeh Hashem, Be'ezras Hashem. Also when you encamp, also when you get there. When you get to the hotel and you unpack you say, may our stay, may our vacation, may our time here Be'ezras Hashem, may it all go smoothly and may it all go well. That's what Hashem says. My vision, my goal, my plans for my children are that their journey through life will be with me by their side. על פי השם יחנו ועל פי השם יסעו. And the Shlah Hakadosh, I gave this to you as homework at one point, that our homework was to live lives in which everywhere we go and everything we do, we do with a sense and attitude of Im Yirtzeh Hashem, Be'ezras Hashem, we're doing it with Hashem by our side. Back inside. Page lamed ches. We're in the right hand column on page 38, Emuna Bitachon, Rav David Abuchatzeira. And he writes the following: Uvelikutei Moharan, the Heilige Reb Nachman of Breslov, the great Breslover, מבואר עוד כי הנופלים בתאוות הממון מסתירים פניו יתברך. What we've been learning in this chapter in this perek is about in the pursuit, in the excessive, exaggerated pursuit of wealth and material possessions and things, there's a tradeoff. We forfeit and we compromise and we corrupt our relationship with Hashem. When Hashem says you do your part, you do your job, you do what's reasonable, you do what's natural, you do what's understandable, you do what's expected, and I'll do the rest. And when you do more, when you try to do not only your job but mine, says Hashem you're doing it at our expense. You're doing it at our expense. I'll give you a mashal, a mashal. You have a couple where one spouse asks the other to take care of something. And the other spouse says I got it. But the other spouse keeps mutchering them and bothering them and following up on them and challenging them and disagreeing with the way they're doing it and saying I want to do, they say I told you I got it. And the fact that you keep doing that and that you're crossing that line and you're trying to do what we agreed I'm in charge of or I'll take care of, you're doing it at the expense of our relationship because it's really annoying. And it really makes me feel that you don't have faith in me and you don't believe me that I said I'll take care of it. So it's not helpful that you're trying to do more than what you're supposed to do, it's harmful to our relationship. And Hashem says the same thing. He says there's what you have to do, you're in charge, don't be lazy, don't cop out, you do you, you do what you need to do. But when you're trying to do your job and my job, that's... When you're second-guessing and doubting that I'll do my job, when you're mutchering me and following up about my job, Hashem says you're annoying me. And you're actually pushing me away, and you're compromising our relationship. You do your job and you trust me that I'll do my job. So says Reb Nachman, when in the pursuit of material things and material possessions and wealth and money and physical things in this world, we push Hashem out of the way and we try to do his job too, we doubt that he'll take care of us, we do it at the expense of our relationship with him. ולהיפך זוכה לגלות פני השם באלו דבריו. Sorry. Ve'eilu devarav. אלו בני אדם הנופלים לתאות הממון ואינם מאמינים שהקדוש ברוך הוא יכול לפרנס את האדם בסיבה קלה. There are people who fall, they fall to the drive and temptation for money and they don't have faith, they don't believe that Hashem could provide for everyone with an easy reason, reason. ורודפים אחר פרנסתם ביגיעות גדולות. And they run after their parnassah with excessive effort. Excessive effort, ruthless competitiveness, endless hours of work, pouring in crazy worry, all compromising their physical, their mental, their emotional health and their relationship with Hashem. Rodfim, they're chasing, they're running, they're consumed, that's all they think about: need more, need bigger, need better, need a monopoly, need everything. הם אוכלי לחם בעצבון. And even what they have, they're sad about. So instead of realizing what I have is what I meant to have, what I have is what Hashem has set aside for me, let me enjoy it with a geshmaak. Instead, even what they have, because they're focused on what they don't have, is never enough and they forfeit the happiness and joy and pleasure that was possible from what they have, from what they have. I say all the time, if your happiness is defined by something you don't have, if only I had this I'd be happy, if I had this house, if I had this car, if I had this paycheck, if I had this job, if I had this spouse, if I had these children, if I had that chavrusa, if I had this seat in shul, if I had that watch, if I had this article of clothing, if only I had that I'd be happy, you'll never be happy because there'll always be something you don't have. But if your happiness is defined by what you have, you'll always be happy because you always have something. So if your happiness is I have something. Elon Musk is the happiest, is the happiest, is the wealthiest man in the world, hundreds of billions of dollars, maybe one day he'll be the first to trillion, and he had some petty online fight, the wealthiest man in the world with the most powerful man in the world, acted like impetuous teenagers in real time, calling each other names, insulting each other and having an online fight that could have brought down the whole country. They have all the wealth in the world and all the power in the world, but if your happiness is defined by something you don't have, you're not happy, you're not happy. Says Reb Nachman, if your happiness, now there's nothing wrong with working hard, I work hard, there's nothing wrong with having drive, nothing wrong with being competitive, that was also this week's parshah, there's nothing wrong having drive and ambition and aspiration and competitiveness, wanting excellence and the best and do well, nothing wrong. Nothing wrong with wanting and enjoying nice and fine things in life, nothing wrong, when you have perspective and scope and when you put them in their place. But when they become your identity, when they're all you care about, when they define your happiness or sadness or relationships or health, you've thrown everything else away. Most of all Hashem. Hashem says on Rosh Hashanah I decided and determined what you're going to get. Now go to work in order to get it. But don't think you could beat me or beat the system, you're not going to get more than what I determined for you, and you won't get less, nobody could take away, nobody could take away what I have for you. I want to tell you a story, I don't think I told it to you before, I want to tell you an extraordinary story. The Chazon Ish writes in his Emunah Ubitachon which we learned together many moons ago back when I had hair, and the Chazon Ish writes there, that was a joke, the Chazon Ish, I did have hair at one point, but that was a joke, the Chazon Ish writes there, he says you know, there are people who in shul when the Tehillim or siddur are open, they have tremendous emunah, Hashem, I love you, Hashem, you're amazing, im yirtzeh Hashem, b'ezras Hashem, they sound like a seminary girl who just got home, you're the best and im yirtzeh Hashem and they daven like this, their siddur and amazing, right? And then they close the siddur and they go to work and they are ruthless business people. They have to crush the competition, they are going to destroy everyone else, a monopoly, the whole business, they've got to kill it, they've got to make it rain, they've only won if someone else has lost. And says the Chazon Ish, your emunah ubitachon, what's it worth? The fact that you shuckle in shul or you have it when you say the words in the siddur, it doesn't add up to much if when you go into the world you don't bring it with you. And he gives a mashal there. He says, if you have a business and across the street a competitor opens, so our instinct is to say, oh-oh, mah nochal? What am I going to eat? Now I'm worried. What if the competition takes a piece of my business? What if they take some of my customers or clients? Now I'm in trouble. So what do people tend to do? They go to their vendors and they say, if you also sell to them, I'm cutting you out. They lower their prices in order to destroy the other person. They, whatever they do, all out of fear, all in a ruthless attempt to crush their competition. Says the Chazon Ish, if you really have emunah, you know what you're going to do? You go across the street, you knock on the door, you say, shalom aleichem, welcome. Welcome, you're in the same business as me. How can I help you? Any introductions I can make, anything I can do, how can I help you? How can I help you? It's a very high level. And maybe you think it's unattainable, but several years ago I read an article in which it happened. In Brooklyn, there were two fish stores, kosher fish stores, a block apart. I told you this story, this part of the story, I'm building up to a new story. And there was a fire and one of the fish stores burned down. And the other guy didn't say, perfect. Let's assume he didn't light the fire, but he didn't say, perfect. Now, I'm the only place to buy kosher fish, I'm going to gain all those customers. You know what he said? He went to the first guy and he said, why don't I give you a corner of my store for you to operate out of until your store's up and running again? And in fact, the councilman gave him an award, he got a medal from the city for that incredible gesture. Can you imagine? He said, why don't you run your store that's a competitor of mine in a corner of my store? You'll have a fish store in the corner of my fish store. Wow. Mind blown. Okay, fast forward. There's a new bagel store that opened this week in Boca. So the previous bagel store, I'm not here to promote, endorse, I haven't been there, I haven't eaten, I don't get any free, I wasn't even invited to a soft opening. I'm just telling you the story because I think it's an amazing story. There's another bagel store that's been around for a while. It's had many names, but the latest name has lasted a long time, and Ethan does a fantastic job. And I have to tell you the story. I'm pretty sure I have permission, and we're going to go with the assumption I do. So, if I owned a bagel store in town, the kosher bagel store in town, and there was a new one opening, it's big, Boca's grown a lot, but is there enough? Two stores, a little worried, how's it going to work? This could definitely impact my business. What's going to be? And I'd come up with advertising, deals, vendors, marketing, what am I going to do to ensure this doesn't take a piece of my business? You know what he did instead? He went to the new bagel guy and he said, welcome, shalom aleichem. I want you to know that eventually something's going to happen. Your bagel machine's going to break, my bagel machine's going to break, one of us, we're going to need the other. So why don't we just cooperate and get along, knowing one of us is one day going to need to cover for the other? And I wish you well. You do well, I'll do well, im yirtzeh Hashem, we'll both have thriving businesses. Wow. Mind blown. Chazon Ish writes it in theory, haleivai there should be such people who have such emunah bitachon, they realize that whatever Hashem has meant for you, no one can touch. And how different would you live your life? How different would your approach be to competitors? There'd be no competitors. Because think about it for a moment. If you think that there's only so much out there, so then someone else going after the same thing is a competitor. But if you realize that what Hashem has designated for me nobody could touch, then no, I don't have competition. The only competition is with myself. Will I do all I need to do and will I live the life I need to live to earn what Hashem has set aside for me? The only one I'm competing with is myself. I have no competitors in business. That's how a yid, how a Jew is supposed to live life. I have no competition in business because nobody can touch what Hashem has designated for me. The only one who could touch, who could diminish what Hashem has designated for me is me. If I don't live the life of worthiness, if I don't earn it, if I don't have a relationship with Him, if I don't ask for it, then I may not get it. But I'll never lose out because someone else took it. I'll never lose because you know what? If Hashem wants two bagel stores to do well, two bagel stores can kill it. There are enough Jews in Boca. Certainly enough Jews to eat bagels in Boca. Are they looking for kosher bagels? Who says? Could they each pick up huge accounts? Could they each cover camps and schools? Could they each do catering? Could, there's more than enough for both. So what a different perspective when you put on your emunah glasses, when you look at the world through an emunah perspective, you don't see competition anywhere. All you're seeing through those glasses is into a mirror to see yourself. The only competition in the world is not anyone else except in the mirror ourselves. Hashem, it's me and you. Am I asking? Are we in conversation? Do I feel your guiding hand? Am I meeting your expectations? Am I living a life that is a mission driven life? There is no competition for the house. I'm bidding, they're bidding, who's going to get the house? If this is the house now, it can be anxiety ridden to know, do I up my offer, do I walk away, how much should I offer? Complicated, hishtadlus, emunah, complicated. But in the end of the day, whatever happened with that house, you didn't have competition for the house because there is no competition. Hashem, a heavenly voice declares which house goes to whom. So you do your effort, you take your initiative, you identify a place and you make your best offer and you calculate what you think it will take. And after that, with a big smile, you're happy for someone else to have gotten it because it wasn't meant for you, it's not your house. It's not your spouse, it's not your job, it's not your client, it's not your income. With emunah, you don't have to live with the angst of competition and what's going to be and who got it and why did it work out that way. You can live with the serenity and tranquility and the peace of mind. Hakadosh Baruch Hu. I only see a mirror. I don't look through glasses that make me see competition. I don't see other people vying for the same thing that I want. All I see is, am I doing what I need to do to get what you already set aside for me? So if you're driven by money, those glasses become very cloudy. If you're driven by more material things, possessions, the physical world, then you'll never be happy and you'll never have a relationship with him because instead of spending the time competing with yourself for the best relationship with him, you're so focused on competitors, you neglect the relationship with him and that's when you're in trouble, says Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. So don't see competition in life. The only competition is with ourselves to be our best selves, to have our best relationship with him. אלו בני אדם נקשרים ונסבכים בסטרא אחרא אלוהים אחרים חושך בחינת מיתה. If all you see is wanting more and the nicest and the latest and the best, you're going to have a miserable life, a life that's dark, that's filled with blackness, a life that's a portion of death. במחשכים הושיבני ועליהם נאמר וזהבם לנידה היינו בחינת עבודת אלילים כמו שאמרו חז"ל מנין לעבודת אלילים שמטמאה כנידה שנאמר תזרם כמו דוה אבל אלו בני אדם שמשאם ומתנם באמונה when all of your business dealings and all of your interactions and all of your life are all done with faith in emunah and Hashem, הם דבקים באור הפנים דקדושה. Wow. Now you're filled with a countenance and a life and a lightness and a joy and an exuberance and an energy and enthusiasm. Now you're the bagel guy who says welcome to town. How can I help you? Let's work together. I'm not worried. You do well, I'll do well because no one can touch what Hashem has designated for me. And if my livelihood goes down after you opened, it wasn't because you opened. It may look like that on the outside, but I'm not going to give into that view. It's not because you opened. It's because something in me I need to work on to get more, to be worth. So this emunah life that we're learning and promoting and encouraging is not a favor or gift to Hashem, he doesn't need it. It's because it will change our physical, mental, emotional health and life. The owner of the existing bagel store could have been for the last six months since the new one was supposed to open, he could have had sleepless nights, driven himself crazy, been incredibly worried and what's going to be, or he can sleep like a baby. Hashem has for me and Hashem has for him and we'll both do well and let's collaborate. Who's that choice up to? No one other than him, no one other than us. The choice is entirely ours. How will we live, how will we look at the world through glasses that see competition or through a mirror where we're only working on ourselves? And the consequence, the result of what kind of life we'll have, our health, will we sleep at night, will we have joy, will you appreciate the things that we have or will they never be enough, that is entirely up to us. I have to end here, can't do the question and answer this week because I got to run to something else. Thank you, we pick up im yirtzeh Hashem next Wednesday morning, please God we'll be back in the usual location. Have an emunah filled day, על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו.
