Transcript
Good morning and good Chodesh and good Yom Tov and good year. Welcome back to Living with Emuna. The Emuna series is generously sponsored by Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of her mother Dr. Ellen Chance, and a shmira should be a protection for all of our holy precious soldiers and may our hostages come home, as always a huge thank you to the Morgans. This morning's shiur is also sponsored by Michael and Esti Lupin and Yaffa Gutman in memory of רחל מלכה בת אברהם חיים on her first yartzheit this Shavuos, her special neshama should have an aliya, by Susan and Charles Roshenstein לעילוי נשמת חנה בת אברהם, her beloved mother, and lastly for a refuah shlema of מאיר משה אהרן בן דבורה נעמי and I want to share with you an email as part of that last sponsorship and the refuah shlema we should all daven very hard. מאיר משה אהרן has a complete and a speedy refuah shlema. And the author of that says the following: I'm sure you heard about the horrific car accident that claimed the lives of three yeshiva bachurim in Lakewood early Friday morning. There were a total of five boys in the car, one of which was my grandson she writes, that the entire world is currently praying for. Please dedicate tomorrow's Emuna shiur רפואה שלמה מאיר משה אהרן בן דבורה נעמי. The fifth boy is baruch Hashem been discharged and is home. And I'd like to share the following with you and the Emuna listeners. As we all know and believe we are not in control only Hashem is, and we internalize daily ein od milvado, there's no one there's nothing but Him. My grandson although currently fighting a severe brain trauma and many burns and broken bones will please God eventually be okay. The day before the accident home for an off-Shabbos from his out-of-town yeshiva, he was busy raising funds for the yeshiva's campaign. As the car he was in with close friends went up in flames after it hit a deer and swerved head-on into a tree, Eliyahu HaNavi in the form of a random nearby person saw what happened somehow ran over and helped Moshey pulling him out of the car amidst flames and explosions. Moshey was already unconscious and the person called 911 immediately. At first reaction when a group of Hatzalah members knocked on my children's door to tell them the news, my daughter-in-law's reaction was why us? What did we do to deserve this? And then as the story unfolded and unfortunately the news of the passing of his three closest friends came through, she changed the emphasis of her question. Same question but different meaning: why us? What did we do to deserve this? This extreme hug, the kindness, the gift from the Ribbono shel Olam. It's with tremendous hakaras hatov and gratitude mixed with huge thoughts of emuna bitachon for a complete refuah as well as tremendous sadness for the families of his three friends that I sitting now in the hospital room write this letter to you, may we be zoche to hear only בשורות טובות רפואות ישועות נחמות for all of Klal Yisrael and taki she'd have a complete refuah shlema and the families of those who lost their sons should find comfort and strength during this difficult and impossible time. How quickly the why me can turn into a why me, why me. And I shared with you already several times Rav Asher Weiss when he was here earlier this year said that people who experience tragedy and hardship, suffering and struggle they say why me? Why me? And nobody wakes up in the morning when everything's going well and wonderful and everything's working and your head count in your house is the same and nobody says why me? Why do I have such bracha why is everything, because when everything goes right we deserve it, we're entitled to it, it's coming to us. When things go wrong, why me? My neighbor's a terrible person and I'm a good person, should happen to them not me. But Rav Asher Weiss said when he was here if we would say more why me when the brachos and the good things happen, if we'd acknowledge it's all from You and we're undeserving and we gratefully receive it and we feel responsible and obligated with it, if we'd say why me, I'm undeserving with humility I know it comes from You, maybe we'll have to ask less the why me about some of those some of those challenging things. So it's also a matter of perspective, like after the Holocaust they could say why did they have to go through that? But those who survived they could say why did I. Right, a person who always that shift and that description of her own children who first answered the door why me why is this happening? When you heard the fate of the others in the car, the why me changed very much. Rabbi Goldberg, hope all is well. Last week listening to Living with Emuna shiur you mentioned an idea that you have referenced often, that we should live with the idea that the I is the neshama not the guf. We spent last week talking about we are a soul that has a body, we're not a body that has a soul. I agree both with the idea and also that we struggle to truly live life that way. The opening phrase of the Elokai Neshama seems to be at odds with this notion however. We say neshama shenasata bi, the soul You put in me, wouldn't this imply that we are the guf, we're the body and the neshama is placed within us. Thank you for the wonderful insights and smiles you bring life and many others all the best. So I thought that was a great question. That question actually got me thinking. That question got me thinking. We're a soul that has a body not a body that has a soul so why the... So, I refer you to the part 10 of the Tanya shiur, which I happen to have given a few moments ago this morning, where we addressed, not the question specifically, but what we learned and spoke about addresses this question in the following way. We're all made up of two parts. We have this body, we have this soul, we have the animal soul, and then we have the godly soul, חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש. Spoke about this morning, mamash. It's not some hypothetical, it's not some conceptual, it's not some feel-good, heebie-jeebie we have a piece of God in us, mamash. We literally have a piece of God in us. And when you're looking for God and when you're searching for Him, when you have doubt and uncertainty and you say, God just reveal Yourself to me, just speak to me, just show me and tell me You're here. And we're looking everywhere. We look in history and we look in nature and we look in the seemingly random things that happen. We look everywhere. Do you know where we should look first and foremost? Do you know where we should look most? Inside ourselves. There's a חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש. God is literally in you. When you woke up this morning and you have a consciousness and you have a conscience, when you woke up this morning and you have memory and experiences, when you woke up this morning and you have feelings, when you woke up this morning with a sense of mission that you woke up this morning, there's a piece of God in you. Stop looking everywhere else and all you have to do is look in the mirror literally or figuratively to feel that my moral compass, my consciousness, my conscience, that's God, that's You in me, mamash. Literally there's a piece of God in me. So it's the second perek of Tanya and it begins the nefesh hashenis, this second soul that we have is the godly soul. Why? Because the first we have is the vessel, the body, the animal. And then we receive the godly soul. So I think that this question is not really a question: אלוקי נשמה שנתת בי, the soul You put in me. My soul is five thousand seven hundred eighty five years old. My body, I won't tell you how old mine is, but my body is whatever age. The soul You put in me, in my body. The soul's existed forever, it's been in Your file cabinet. You reached in, You took it out, and You put it into this body so that it would animate this body, it would express the free will of this body. The body is the vehicle for the soul to make choices, express free will in this world. And then You will extract that soul. Spoke about last week, the yetzi'as haneshama, the extraction of the soul, that could easily be unbearably painful because the more one identifies with the body and not the soul, the more one indulges, protects the body and not the soul, the more painful it is to have the soul extracted. And the more one knew all along, I'm a soul, I'm just wearing a body like a garment. That when you take off the garment, it's not painful. It's the opposite. When you get to take off the tie at the end of the night, it's not painful, it's the ultimate bliss, it's the ultimate pleasure. Finally I can take off the straitjacket called a suit and tie. Finally I can be comfortable and relax. So the soul is free, is liberated of the body. That's not painful, that's in fact pleasurable, that's bliss. That's what chazal call a neshika, misas neshika, the kiss of death because it's pleasurable. So chronologically from our experience in this world, which did we get first? The body. And then God put the soul in it and that's why we say אלוקי נשמה שנתת בי טהורה היא. Hakadosh baruch hu, you put bekirbi, you put it bi, you put it bekirbi. That's all describing the body, the animal in us and then God, the second is what You put is the godly soul. And I think that is the answer to that question that connects to our learning of last week. But which is the real me? What has always existed that will always exist, the real me is the soul. I am a soul right now being housed in a body. But my soul existed long before the body and my soul will continue to exist for eternity, immortality, long after the body. And that's why, as I said last week, we don't bury people, we bury bodies. People don't die, their body dies. We don't mourn people, we mourn the loss of our contact or connection to them through their body. But the soul is immortal, the soul is eternal, and the soul lives on. And there's a zohar. I can't pull it up right now. We have, I don't remember if I said this last week, we have a tradition there are times where that soul descends, it comes back down. That's how real it is. Again, mamash. It's not a heebie-jeebie idea, it's not some nice comforting idea, it's not the opium of the masses idea just to cope with life. It's true, it's authentic, it's as real as anything else. So the zohar says that when someone gets married, the souls of their loved ones descend from heaven to be under the chuppah, to be at that wedding. Not some nice idea, they are there and they are present. And we incorporate that sometimes, we use a tallis, other symbols that we bring. The symbolism today, when you go to the cemetery, some have the custom to take a wedding invitation and provide. I don't know what the address, the email address of the soul in heaven is. Like your loved one at heaven dot org, com, I don't know what the, you know, how you send the evite. But it's to be taken literally. And it's powerful and it's meaningful and it informs our entire lives. And it's the mission of our lives. The mission of our lives is to enjoy the body. I enjoy my clothing, but I don't confuse the clothing with who I am. The clothing is simply functional. The clothing is transactional. The clothing has a utility. But the clothing is not who I am. I'm never confused that the clothing is who I am. It's something that I have. I have never... I shouldn't say that. I'm Purim. I was gonna say I never wore a sheitel. I don't have a... I don't wear a sheitel. I'm Purim. It's my one day a year I get to have hair. V'nahafoch hu. V'nahafoch hu. So maybe you have a sheitel collection and you get which is the real me, that's who I see in the mirror, that's who I look, that's what I have done, that's what I comb and brush, that's what I have styled, that's what I take a mortgage to buy. That's what I have. That's what I have and you can get confused and think that's me. But you, you take it off and you put it back on that sheitel head and you say that's not me. That's not me. You get spooked out in the middle of the night or your husband does from that sheitel head and the sheitel and if the light from the moon hits just the right way and you think there's a robber in your room. I don't know if anyone's ever shot a sheitel head in the middle of the night yet. But that's gonna happen sometime soon. You think you're getting robbed. But you know that that sheitel and sheitel, that's not me. That's what I wear. That's how I express myself. That's my individuality, my creativity, but it's not me. So the body is not me, it's what I'm wearing. It's what my soul is wearing for 70, 80, 100 years. We celebrated Rabbi Fox's 101st birthday this morning earlier. It's what I wear for 120 years, please God. But it's not me. It's not me. So now I know that my enjoy nice clothing, wear it well, take good care of it, send it to the dry cleaners, hang it up, enjoy it. But don't ever confuse it with who you are. So the body too. Get the pleasures of the body of this world. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, eat, rest, enjoy the pleasures, but don't ever there confuse it with who you are. So it informs our mission in this world. We're a soul and we connect to other people's soul. Soul connection. Those are real relationships is the soul connection. Soul mates and soul connection and soul friendship. Not just the utility friendship. Oh, on the body, external, superficial, physical level, we like the same foods, we vacation in the same places, we like the same physical things. Nothing wrong with that also, but that's not a soul friendship. That's not a soul mate. The soul connection is the person who speaks to your soul. That's eternity, that's immortality, that's connecting to the divine, that's connecting to the divine in the other and that's helping me feel the divine in myself. We know, we have those people that we have fun with, we laugh with, we eat with, we vacation with, we have fun with, but there are those people that every interaction or after you spend time with them, your soul is nourished, it's hydrated, it's more alive. There are friends or people in our past, hopefully members of our family, maybe if we're lucky it's our spouse, who after those interactions and conversations they've spoken and awoken our soul. There's something big, everlasting, immortal, the divine, the חלק אלוה ממעל ממש, that connection in me, there's something bigger going on, I feel more alive. I feel more alive. So this is not just a nice idea, it's a mission statement for how to live life, to know I am a soul being housed by a body. So yes, neshama shenasata bi, bi is the body and the soul is in, is in me, is bekirbi for now. Back to emails and then we'll get back to our text. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, finally emailing you about the great impact Living on the Moon- thank you for the compliment, blah blah blah. I had wanted to email a few weeks ago, and as life goes, I didn't end up doing so. Then, as you know, a quintessential embrace your place moment happened this past Sunday at Dunkin' Donuts in Queens, New York. I know it's a bit long but seeing Hashem's guidance unfold can have many steps along the way. This year shortly after Pesach was the 10th yahrzeit of my dear father, Chezkel ben Asher, and as I was preparing for the annual now virtual shiur I give to mark this significant passage of time, through reflecting on his legacy and learning Torah, my father's favorite chag. This year at the seder I was struck by the words we recite, ברוך המקום ברוך הוא. Blessed is the place. Right before we read about the four sons where the word makom is translated as the omnipresent. Knowing Hebrew I thought wait, the literal translation is the place. I wondered why this was the chosen wording used to refer to Hashem instead of simply saying any of God's more familiar names. And why was this the English translation most commonly used, the omnipresent? Baruch hamakom, blessed is the omnipresent. Makom means place, not omnipresent. Later on I looked at two other places where hamakom is used that came to mind. When leaving a mourner sitting shiva we say the special verse, hamakom yenachem eschem, may the makom comfort you. Well-known song Acheinu, which has become a national anthem, Jewish plea since October 7th, we sing HaMakom yerachem aleichem, may the Makom have mercy. HaMakom in both places is taken to mean Hashem. These discoveries led to the topic of this year's Shiur, what's your place, what one word can teach us. Without going into the entire Shiur now, I shared that this word HaMakom in these contexts is used to convey times when Hashem feels hidden to us. It is a reminder that Hashem is always in the place with us as Hashem is in every space and place, even when we feel confused, when dealing with the four different sons and attitudes, when we have lost a loved one, when anyone in our family is suffering, Acheinu, HaMakom is God from a distance, but even wherever we are, even if we feel lost or isolated or alone, Hashem is in that place too. For me, the word HaMakom conveys understanding that sometimes Hashem seems far away and it's okay to experience a shift in facing significant challenges. We may not be able to fully connect to Hashem when we need space and the place to deeply feel yet. Hashem in His infinite understanding is with us in whatever place we find ourselves. At that point in preparing the Shiur with little time to spare, I still needed some to tie things together and deeply connect to my father. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I was feeling a need to reconnect to the Living with Emunah series Shiur. I'd been listening regularly during COVID for quite some time after, moved and inspired by the content. More recently, I'd not been listening regularly and had not listened for some time. The episode I just happened to choose was the one before Pesach where embrace your place came up. Smile and the whole world smiles with you. While I was listening, I was deeply inspired by the idea and phrase and knew this was exactly what I needed to complete the Shiur in memory of my father. My father was an embrace your place kind of guy. His zest for life in all different situations modeled and taught coating yourself with chicken fat, putting one foot in front of the other, I don't know what that means exactly, doing what is needed, facing whatever comes in your place and space. He also had strong faith, I guess means let things slide off you. He never missed a day of Davening. He arranged for Jewish funerals and corralling at least a Minyan for people who had no close Jewish connections. He believed one's final place should be one with dignity in Hashem's presence, no matter what. After I gave my Shiur, I wanted to email you to share exactly to share how excited I was because this mindset brought the entire Yahrtzeit Shiur together with the impact ongoing since. I also wanted to find out how I can get an embrace your place sticker for my car, now that this idea so related to my father. And then life happened and writing the email went into my to-do space. Then this past Sunday, my son and I were going back and forth about whether we were going to get a slurpee at 7-Eleven or a donut at nearby Dunkin' Donuts. After our deliberations, we finally decided we go to Dunkin' Donuts. As we walked into Dunkin', there you were with Rabbi Moskowitz, who is a dear friend to my husband and I and whom we've also learned beautiful Torah from, both enjoying your donut stop. I couldn't believe it. What were the chances these two holy Boca residents were sitting in my local Dunkin' at this exact time my son and I arrived? I guess that is exactly where you were supposed to be so I could thank you in person. What an incredible opportunity real time to be in the exact place all at the same time. Grateful to Hashem for every place that can be elevated through Him and the icing on the donut is now my car, our mindful Makom, that is graced with the sticker you handed me in person, giving me plenty of opportunities to remember that whatever place I am in is exactly where I am meant to be. So that was a great great moment. The best part was she recognized Rabbi Moskowitz from the back of his head. I thought that was really impressive. I was sitting facing the door, he was opposite me, and she walked in from the back of his head and she recognized. And why we on our way to a wedding in Shmorg at Marina stopped for a Dunkin' at Dunkin' a donut at Dunkin' Donuts is a wonder of the world. That is a great question. We landed in LaGuardia and Avis, we got our car with a little time to spare and we said we have time. And there are a lot of other I'm sure special places in the area we could have stopped, but for some reason, because we were meant to meet her, we said let's get a coffee and a donut at Dunkin' Donuts. And I'm glad we don't have one here, because we'd all look very different. So I'm glad we don't have one here, but that's where we were meant to be and she came in and it was a great moment and I went right to the car and gave her the decal for her car and the sticker and it was a wonderful moment and I was grateful to find outside my door, thank you to Dina who dropped these off, some rocks, embrace your place, embrace your place. If anybody would like, leave them on your desk or someplace in your house. I won't put it on your dashboard. But leave it somewhere else and it will remind you wherever you are to embrace your place. Okay, let's get into our text. What time is it? Yeah. Okay fine, one more. Oh my gosh, there's so many emails and I want to read them all. I want to read them all. In my journey of Chizuk, I've been listening to random Living with Emunah episodes on my morning walks around my Moshav. The way I feel closest to Hashem and most inspired is through nature. I see Him in every beautiful flower or butterfly. This morning I chose a random episode, getting the theme here, and you were talking about moments of inspiration and fire. Just then a huge eagle flew right over my head and landed on a tree next to me. I was in awe and almost moved to tears and I thanked Hashem. Just then you continued to say how we need to take these moments, turn them into Maiseh and a Kabbalah. So I decided to take upon myself to bench only from a bencher with kavana. Not thirty seconds later you gave that exact example of a kabbala to take on. I was again in awe and saw it as a hug from Hashem. Thank you tizku l'mitzvos. We spoke about, in a moment of take the moment of inspiration, today's inspiration has to become tomorrow's obligation. Today's inspiration has to become tomorrow's obligation. Otherwise the inspiration is fleeting, it disappears. You have to take that moment of inspiration and now what's the what am I taking upon myself? What am I going to do differently as a result? If you don't daven every day daven a little bit. If you bench out loud while cleaning up, bench from inside a bencher. If you don't ever call anyone and check in, take upon yourself you're going to make one phone call a day or at least on Friday erev Shabbos check in on someone who might be alone. Today's inspiration has to become tomorrow's obligation. So that person was listening and we spoke about that, so he took on an obligation and a moment later that was the obligation that I suggested. Look at that, what a coinkidink. Okay, I've thought about writing many times to let you know how the living with emuna shiur has changed my life. I used to be totally not the type to listen to shiurim in the car, but since a friend recommended I begin listening I do almost every day and frequently say Rabbi Goldberg says. I'm writing now because yesterday I was running late for work and I had to go back in my house to get my car keys out of the pocketbook I usually use. As I got the keys I saw the security badge that I only need to go to a certain building at work where I rarely go. I almost left it at home and then thought maybe Hashem made me focus on it because my laptop will finally be fixed and I'll need the badge to pick it up. As I got into the car and turned on Waze, I saw a text from the IT department that my laptop was ready. Before listening to your shiur my mindset would have been totally different and I never would have thought about Hashem in that moment. Thanks to Hashem for all my spiritual friends who suggested your shiur and to the continued inspiration. Forgot the keys so it would remember the badge which enabled her to go into the building to pick up the laptop. No coincidences they're all from Hashem. Last one for today. I've wanted to write this emuna for a long time. I actually had a second emuna moment happen to me in the meantime. So happy that my mother-in-law Deborah recommended your shiur it makes my commute much more enjoyable. Some of them say I fall asleep to your shiur and others say I enjoy your commute and I hope they never get confused between the two. Emuna moment number one. I was on vacation for a week with my parents and brother and my baby and husband were home. I was set to land in Newark at four and figured I should be home just in time for bedtime to give my baby a much needed kiss after a week away. It was raining and there were tons of traffic and I kept seeing the ETA go up. At first I thought maybe my husband could just keep her up for an extra fifteen minutes I could see her, hug her before bed. But as the time on Google Maps kept going up, I told him to just put her to bed and I would see her in the morning. I decided to listen to the shiur I had missed while on vacation and what do you know? You're talking about sitting in traffic. I decided at that moment I am where I meant to be. Maybe it was for the best, I wouldn't see her until the morning, I didn't want her to get too excited before bed, maybe she wouldn't have fallen asleep. Emuna moment number two. My husband and I went to ski. There was a huge snowstorm as we're on our way to the airport to go home, so it was a very scary Uber ride and we ended up getting to the airport too late to check in for our flight. Next flight wasn't for eight hours. My husband was very annoyed about having to stay in the airport for eight hours and take a red-eye getting home at 6 a.m. But because of the emuna shiur I was completely calm. I told him Hashem had a plan for us. There's clearly a reason why we missed the flight. In fact, I was smiling at the check-in desk. Luckily we had plenty of food that I'd packed extra just in case because we're Jewish and spent the eight hours scouring the airport for kosher food, getting overpriced chair massages and watching movies. Thank you for all that you do. See how you can stay calm and you can smile even in those moments. You never know what's going to happen. Always even when you have to go to Newark Airport. Even. Even right now that is should be a kapara if you have to go to Newark Airport right now. But even, even at Newark Airport you could keep a smile on your face, embrace your place, know you are where you meant to be. A Jew is never stuck unless they're at Newark Airport and then the likelihood is you're going to get stuck. But a Jew is never stuck even there and what an attitude. What an attitude. Okay, we're back in Emuna Bitachon Rav David Abuhatzeira page lamed zayin, the left-hand column. I just want to remember before I forget Shavuos we have incredible shiurim and a great theme: why the Jews? Covering all types of topics connected to that theme. But this Shabbos as we're getting ready for Shavuos we have our special Nishei Kiddush and shiur Shabbos morning after the nine o'clock minyan. There's a kiddush, cheesecake and iced coffee apparently. Nishei women's kiddush and shiur, cheesecake and iced coffee and designed by women for women. It's possible some of my daughters complain why can't we have cholent and kishka just because it's a women's Nishei Kiddush and shiur it has to be cheesecake and iced coffee? I had nothing to do with it, designed by women for women. But anyway after the nine o'clock minyan on Shabbos morning all together and also alone finding our place at Har Sinai that is the topic and hopefully by then we'll have more than just a title. Okay, left-hand column page lamed zayin. הנו מאמין שהבורא הוא הזן ומפרנס לכל מה לו כי ילך אחר ההבל שהוא נגד רצון יתברך הלא מספיק לו צרכו ואם עושה הוא הפך רצונו מפסיד את פרנסתו We've been learning and talking about the balance between initiative, effort and faith. If we show too little faith and too much initiative, then we don't. don't have faith in Hashem. A person who works excessively, a person who makes too much effort doesn't have faith in Hashem that He could get it done for you even with less. A person who has too little effort has counterfeit faith. A person who sits back and waits for Hashem to take care of it doesn't have faith at all; they're hiding behind a counterfeit faith. It's all about finding the balance between the two, and the area this expresses itself is shidduchim, which we might start a break-off shiur of emuna specifically for those in shidduchim, talking about it, it could be ongoing or maybe just once or twice. And the other area is in parnassa, in pursuit of the material and the physical. We think we gotta kill it, and we gotta work super hard, and we gotta work crazy hours, and we always gotta do more, but sometimes we have to stop and recalibrate and ask, have I done enough work that Hashem now can provide? Have I created the vessel that He can fill? If He made a promise on Rosh Hashanah of what I can earn this year, have I done my part in order to get it, or do I need to keep going? It's that balance. מעריכים כל איש דברי קדשו, זקני אבי הרב יעקב, now Rav David Abuhatzeira quotes his grandfather the Abir Yaakov, ונביאו בלשון חכמים חוצי להבות אש כי בעוונותינו הרבים הדבר ההוא שמשמא עיני בני אדם ומטמטם בלבם ודוחה אותם מעבודת השם. We're living in a time and a generation of incredible prosperity. We're living in a time of tremendous comfort, convenience, and wealth. And wealth. That's not to suggest there aren't people struggling, and our heart goes out and our responsibility is to help, but know that the poorest of our generation have a more comfortable and luxurious life and lifestyle than the wealthiest of just a generation or two ago. They also have a smartphone and a dishwasher and a washing machine and a car that has automatic windows. There are, that's not to suggest there aren't people struggling and suffering and we need to step in and help, and there aren't people who are literally hungry or worried about how they'll keep the roof over their head, I'm not minimizing it in the least. But at the same time, we should know and acknowledge we're living in the most prosperous moment and time in history, and life is getting more, at least physically, comfortable and convenient every single day. Every single day. And yet, we've spoken about this other context where we're less happy than ever, where does that come from? Comes from, just to go back to last week's topic, when you live thinking that you're a body that has a soul, your body could become, have all the creature comforts and prosperity, but as long as you're suppressing and denying and not nourishing and nurturing and not expressing your soul, if you think you're a body that has a soul, you're going to be unhappy. But when you realize I'm a soul that has a body, even if your body doesn't have all the comfort and convenience and joys and pleasures, when your soul is alive and nurtured and expressing itself, you feel the highest highs and the greatest happiness. It's all intertwined. And we're living in a time that has less faith in God, all the polls, America belief in God is at an all-time record low, that there's less religion, less belief in God, and there's a tremendous corollary between living in the here and now, living for the physical, living in the pursuit of happiness, living thinking I am a body that has a soul and finding unhappiness, versus living I'm a soul that has a body. How do I nurture my soul? How do I speak to my soul? How do I have an ongoing conversation? How do I connect with soul friends and soulmate? How does my soul find expression? What's my soul's purpose and mission in this world and finding that, that happiness? So writes Rav David Abuhatzeira quoting the Zeida, the Abir Yaakov, that the biggest challenge of our generation that's blinding our eyes and that's contaminating and corrupting our heart is this confusion of what our priority should be in life. We wake up every day and we want more and better and bigger and supersized and latest and newest, and it's in the pursuit, it's in the consumerism. And this isn't just, this isn't in the secular world or the non-Jewish world, this isn't only in the religious world, this is in parts of the most religious world. You go through, and I don't want to risk my subscription, but you go through some of the most popular Jewish magazines today and one page is about you're a soul not a body, and the next article is about mistapek bemuat, live with less because it's really just a conduit for the world to come, and the next page is a piece of the most expensive meat at the most expensive kosher store, and the next page is the most expensive kosher vacation, and then you've got an ad for the most expensive piece of jewelry, and then the next page is you shouldn't care about the physical and material, it's an article about how we're really just a soul. And I'm not the first or only to criticize or question the mixed messaging of some of our Jewish publications that have many wonderful articles that are encouraging and inspiring us that you're a soul not a body, and then the advertisements and marketing are all about you're only anyone if you have a meat board. If you don't have a meat board. What is your life even worth? If you don't have an expensive, overpriced—by the way, I challenge, there's no one in this room who likes a meat board like I like a meat board. I happen to like fleish, I like meat. I like a meat board. I love jerky. That happens to be among my cravings. I like a good meat board as much as anyone else. But the meat board's not your life. The meat board can't be your life. And shouldn't be. I'm on from Cape Cod to meat boards. I've moved on. You haven't heard Cape Cod in a long time. So I love a good meat board, but it's expensive. Can you afford it? How many? Where? When? Why? What? And what place does it have in your life? What place? We're upping the ante of everything, such as simchas and it's true with Shabbos tables and it's true with the erev Shabbos, Leil Shishi, and Toameha to the Motzaei Shabbos, Melave Malka, and people could go bankrupt just on. So this said the Avi Yaakov, this is the challenge of our generation. As you look around, as I said, this is not just by yenem. This is not among the goyim. This is not a problem in someone else's world. This is a problem in our world, in our world. I want to clarify, there's nothing wrong with enjoying nice things. If you have the capacity and you're not going into debt and you can give appropriate amounts of tzedakah, there's nothing wrong with enjoying nice things. The Torah says good, enjoy. Hashem says this is my world, it's why I created it. If you can afford it, you still give tzedakah, not be corrupted by it, enjoy it. Nothing wrong with enjoying it. What's wrong is when it compromises and when it blurs and confuses our priorities and our judgment and our identity and who we are and why we're here, our self-worth and what we're all about. ובדבר זה מצא יצר הרע טענה אלמת לכל באי עולם ושיבר עליהם ונתנם תחת ממשלתו בדבר זה כקטן כגדול. And this causes all of us, the worst qualities and character traits in a person come out because we have less God, our ego has edged God out and more I want, I need, I have to have. Think about it. The more a person pursues the physical material, the more you've edged God out because of ego, I deserve, I need, I want. So it brings out the worst qualities in a person: envy and jealousy. Why do they have? Why is their kiddush, why is their Shabbos table, why is that car in their driveway? Why do they have that home? Why'd they just come back from that vacation? Why did all of us? That last email referenced two vacations recently. We're all human. I heard it and I said, wow, two vacations. Two emunah stories. I'd love to go on a vacation. We all hear or see and we say I want to go on this ski vacation. I want to go away a week without my child—with my children. I want to go. I want to go. All of us have that envy, that envy. So if we have misplaced priorities, if we're in the pursuit of more and better and bigger, if that defines our lives and our lifestyles, then it's going to bring out a sense of envy and jealousy. It's going to bring out an arrogance and it's going to bring out an ego and it's going to bring out an anger and it's going to bring out all the qualities that destroy our physical, mental, emotional health. But if instead of edging God out, you edge him in. If instead you say to yourself I have what I'm meant to have, I have what I need, I'm going to work hard to have more 'cause there's nothing wrong with enjoying it, but I'm never jealous or envious about what someone else has 'cause you know what? Whatever anyone else has can never take away from you. Hashem could put that car in their driveway and the same car in your driveway. They could have their meat board and you could also have a meat board. They could have their vacation and you could also have your vacation. Hashem doesn't have a quota and if he gives it to someone there's not enough for you. Hashem has an unlimited supply, so never be envy or jealous of what someone else has 'cause you have what you need and what you deserve, you have what's right for you, they have what's right for them. So bring God in. When you start to feel that feeling, say to yourself no, Hashem, I'm going to work hard, I'm gonna take initiative, I'm gonna do my part because we don't sit back, he wants us to be his partner, but at the same time I'll never get angry and I'm never going to swell with arrogance and I'm never going to get envious because it's all you. ואין לך דור שאין רעתו מרובה מחבירו בדבר זה עשיר לא ירבה ועינו לא תשבע עושר והדל לא ימיך כי אומר לא יספיקו לו ימים ולילות לפרנסת אנשי ביתו ואין השקט ואין מנוחה לשום אדם במחשבה ומעשה. You know what it robs us of? We're robbed of our sense of serenity, of our peace of mind, of our peace of mind. Everyone's walking on eggshells. Everyone's walking on edge. Everyone's filled with some level, some baseline level of an anxiety. We're all needing to do things to take the edge off. Some people it's substances, it's behaviors. And it's wrong, God forbid, we have to numb ourselves. And why? Because there's such pressure. There's such pressure to produce. such pressure to bring in, such pressure to make it rain, such pressure to keep up, such pressure to have. But if a person lets go and lets God, I'm using all of our cliches today. If a person lets go and you say Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I'm going to do my part, I'm taking my initiative, I'm doing what I have to. I go to work, I network, I advertise, I market, I apply for the job, I do my part, and after that, You're in charge. Now I can restore and recover my peace of mind. I can go to the counter at the airport and smile, even when my flight's delayed for eight hours, because that's Your plan. That's the way it's supposed to go. So I'm not bent out of shape, I don't lose my cool, and I don't lose or compromise my health, my relationships. אין השקט ואין מנוחה, there's no quiet, there's no peace. כמעט זו עבודה זרה שבזמננו חס ושלום. This is the idolatry of our time. You know we read Tanach and we read the parts of our davening that say don't worship idols. You hear the Aseres HaDibros, we'll hear on Shavuos a couple days from now. Anochi Hashem Elokecha, I'm the Lord your God, and don't, don't go after false gods. And you say, what does that even mean? I don't have that problem, false gods. Who's bowing down to an idol? Who's worshipping a pagan? That's not our problem. The answer is it is our problem. We're worshipping at the altar of the bank account. We're worshipping at the altar of materialism and consumerism and things and more and bigger and better and latest. And it's become k'mat says Rav David Abuhatzeira in avodah zarah bizmaneinu. This is the avodah zarah of our time. Why? Because we're so impressed and wowed and enamored by the people who have more. They think that the people who have more money and more things, they have more fame or more power, and we're bowing and we're worshipping and we're admiring and that's what we want. ועל עניין זה נתבטלה תורה הקדושה. And what do we give up in the process? What are we giving up in the process? In the pursuit of more, in the focus of our attention, in the noise in our mind, in the envy and the jealousy, what are we giving up in the process? Our own peace of mind, our own happiness and tranquility and serenity, our own ability to be present, our own joy and satisfaction, our own meaning, our own purpose. וגם התפילות מתבטלות בשביל שמעורבים בני אדם בהליכות ואורחות הכלכלה זה פירש לים וזה ליבשה יוצא. And what happens? Our davening is missing out. Because instead of our davening being a conversation with Hashem, our davening is only all this agenda. Hashem, I need, give me, I want, and now there's just tightness. And Hashem says, whoa, can we just, can we connect a little bit? What's going on? How are you? Don't you want to know how I'm doing? Let's connect, let's spend time, let's enjoy. וראה עוד שם שמאריך בכאב נורא על דבר זה. And the Abir Yaakov expands on this even more, believe it or not, there about this being the plague of our time. This is the epidemic of our time. Materialism, consumerism, the pursuit of more, bigger, better, more comfort, more convenience. And that's nothing wrong with... I can't reiterate this enough. There's nothing wrong with having and enjoying, Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us, He wants us to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. But don't be defined by, and don't make that your priority, and don't be consumed by, and don't measure or compare or contrast against others, and don't forfeit your own peace of mind and serenity and happiness in the process. That is not at all what life is about. So we have to find that balance. How can I take a healthy dose of initiative? How can I do what I'm supposed to and meant to, but not do excessive initiative? Not take on too much or too little. So I want to end our learning and then we'll turn off the stream and recording and go to our question and answer for this week, but I want to end by telling you a dvar Torah, the same idea connected to our parsha, which is the following. Our parsha we have the count, the census. Bamidbar is numbers, because it's counting. It's the census of the Jewish people. And the tribe of Levi is counted separately, but the rest of the Jewish people are counted from what age? 20 and up. And Levi is counted from the age of one month old and up. And the Midrash that Rashi in our parsha quotes says there was a logistical problem. Moshe turned to Hashem and he said, היך אני נכנס לבתי כולם לתוך אהליהם לדעת מניין יונקיהם. How am I supposed to go to everyone's house? How do I go search everyone's house to find out how many children they have? I need to do a census, I need to take a count of the Levi'im. So adults 20 and up, they come before me, they pass before me. But children one month and up, I have to go to the house and look in the crib and see every child one month and up. How am I supposed to do it? How am I supposed to do it? If even the young children were being counted, Moshe needed to go into every single home, and clearly that wasn't practical, there were so many homes. So the Midrash says, you know what Hashem answers him? And listen carefully. עשה אתה את שלך ואני אעשה את שלי. You do yours, and I'll do mine. You do you, and I'll do me. You do your job, and I'll do my job. And this could be a next motto for our living with emuna. Where's Ilana? Figure out a place to put that and what that. You do you and I'll do me. You do your job and I'll do my job. Moshe went to every home. He stood outside the door and a bas kol announced how many children were in that home. And the Midrash says that's what the pasuk means al pi Hashem. That the census and the count of the Leviyim was al pi Hashem because he went to every home. He didn't have to go inside. He was able to pass every home and a bas kol, a heavenly voice, went out and proclaimed how many children were in that home. So the Midrash says this counting was done by God. Says the Eish Tamid of Rav Yisroel Meir Druck, if a heavenly voice is going to go out and announce how many kids are in the home, so I've got a more efficient idea. Moshe stay put, stay home, and God just tell you how many Leviyim there are. Why do you have to go out and get around? Why do you have to go to every house if after all it's going to be a heavenly voice that comes out and proclaims how many children there are? What's the point? Says Rav Druck, the Midrash is teaching us an important lesson about hishtadlus of taking initiative and investing effort. God will respond. God will do His, but first we have to do ours. You leave your house. You get up. That's why Pesach seder ends, I know it's Erev Shavuos, the Pesach seder ends, shefoch chamatcha Eliyahu Hanavi becomes what do we do? We get up and we open the door. Why do we have to get up and open the door? You're telling me that Eliyahu Hanavi, Elijah the prophet, can visit every Jewish home simultaneously, but he can't come through the chimney? He can't climb through the window? He can't go through the wall? He can visit every home, every Jewish home on the planet at the same time, but we have to open the door because otherwise he can't get in? Does that make sense to you? So I once heard, no. You know why we get up and open the door? Not for Eliyahu Hanavi. What is Eliyahu Hanavi coming to do? He's coming to announce and herald the geula. He's coming to announce there's redemption, good things are happening, good things are coming. There is a future, there's a brighter light at the end of this tunnel. So if you want that to happen, you know what you need to do? Stop reclining, stop sitting back on your pillow, get up, get off your tuchus and go open the door. If you want redemption, be His partner. You do yours—don't put that in a bumper sticker, I'm going to hear about it later that I said—get up and open the door. Get up and open the door. You have to partner. You have to do your part. No one's knocking on your door to hand you a brown paper bag of cash. Get up and go to work. The biggest segula for parnassa, the biggest segula for parnassa is having a job. It's the biggest segula for parnassa. It's bigger than shlishel challah, bigger than shlishel challah. Also shlishel challah is okay as long as it's directed to emuna in Hashem, but the biggest segula for parnassa is having a job. And the biggest segula for any outcome that you want is making an effort and taking an initiative. And you know what Hashem says? עשה אתה את שלך ואני אעשה את שלי. You do your part, I'll do my part. You do you, I'll do me. You do your job, I'll do my job. Now, some people they try to do their job and God's job. Sometimes you have to remind people God knows what He's doing, He doesn't need your help. Stop interfering. He doesn't need your help. Get out of His way. Where is the boundary between your job and His job? In shidduchim in particular, that's a big question. In every area of life, where is the border between your job, עשה את שלך אעשה את שלי? You do your job, I'll do my job. Where's the border between them? Some people they violate the border. They try to do God's job too. And God says, relax, get out of My way, don't interfere, I don't need your help. Some people try to get God to do their job too. They don't even want to do their job. So they try to violate the border in the other direction. God, come do my job too. I don't want to do even my job. The answer to live a life of emuna is we do ours and He does His. We do our job and He does His job. And that, says Rav Druck, is why Moshe you've got to walk around. You've got to do your part. And then a bas kol will come out and help you get it done. But you've got to do your part. לא עליך המלאכה לגמור, as the Mishna in Avos says, that you're not obligated to complete the work, ולא אתה בן חורין ליבטל ממנה. You don't have to do everything, but you can't do nothing. You've got to get, you've got to get it started. You've got to get it started. The Midrash tells us that when Bithya, the daughter of Pharaoh, Bithya bat... as Bas Paroh saw the basket floating with a baby in it, and she heard the cries, she stretched out her arm. And the Midrash tells us she was at such a distance that naturally her arm was at a length she couldn't grab that basket. But what happened? She, her arm elongated miraculously, and she was able to reach even that which was out of her grasp. Why? In what merit? If you think about it, it made no sense. Why did she stretch out her arm? Why'd she even try? The basket was floating far away. The answer is, תעשה את שלך ואני אעשה את שלי. We do our part and God will do His. We do our work and he'll do his work, and that's the initiative that we have to take in every area of life. We do our work, and he does, and he does his work. Where that border is, that's what we each have to figure out. Don't ask him to do your job, we've got to do our job. And don't try to do his job, let him do his job, he's God. He'll do it better than you ever could. Get out of his way and let him do his work. In shidduchim, some people try to do their job and his job. They try to force a shidduch, they try to push something through, they try to make something happen, they try to over-micromanage. What, what are you trying to do his job? Chazal tell us that all God's been doing since creation is shidduchim. You think you're a better shadchan than him? He is the greatest shadchan. The greatest shadchan. The only shadchan, the true shadchan. So do your part, you've got to go meet with the shadchan, you've got to do something, got to put name out there, and then get out of his way and let him do. In every area of life, we take our initiative and then we get out of his way. Don't cop out. Don't ask him to do your job, and don't try to do his job. That's the motto how to live life. You do yours and he'll do his, and please God we'll see with בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות.
