Transcript
Good morning Boker Tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna, our weekly support group, my weekly support group to help keep us calibrated and focused and remembering what matters, what is important, to embrace our place and we are where we're meant to be and that Hashem is guiding our lives and that we should never have highs that are too high or lows that are too low, but everything is being carefully curated and choreographed from above. I want to thank our generous Emuna series sponsors, our dear friends Drs. Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Schanzer and for a shemira for the Israeli soldiers and hostages, Hashem should watch over them, protect them and ensure their safety. This morning's shiur is also sponsored by P&M Prosper Abbitbol, Debbie and David Golding in commemoration of the yahrzeit of P&M and Debbie's father, Lester Greenberg, whose neshama should have an aliyah, very grateful to the Abbitbols. Okay, let's get started, a couple of announcements before we begin. First of all, last week or two weeks ago we read the letter from the woman who started a Tehillim WhatsApp group, not for a crisis, not for those who are sick or in danger or in need of parnassa or looking for a shidduch, but, and I just came up with this, I don't think it's called that, Tehillim for Toda, Tehillim for gratitude, Tehillim for no reason, Tehillim just to say thank you, and I'm excited and proud to tell you that she just emailed me, she now has had to open three groups, so many of you subscribed when we posted it originally her number, then the groups, she's now opened three groups of people, three full groups of people who are saying Tehillim around the clock just to say thank you Hashem. Isn't it amazing? To wake up, Hashem it's a beautiful day, Hashem the beauty in my life, Hashem my health, my family, my happiness, the gifts that I have, Tehillim is not only for crisis or worry, Tehillim sometimes is just to say thank you, very excited about that. Also very excited, even if some of you will be less so, but I'm very excited that beginning next week, two changes. Number one, we are moving the time to 9:00 AM, which is a compromise time, 9:00 AM, so 9:00 AM, Living with Emuna will now stream live wherever you are around the world, you'll be able to join us live at 9:00 AM on Wednesday mornings, except for when it's not, but live AM on Wednesday mornings, that is number one. It'll still stream live at 9:00 AM, it'll still be posted, you can watch anytime, any hour, anywhere, whenever you want, thanks to AI one day in any language you'll be able to watch it. But beginning next week we're moving to 9:00 AM and number two is beginning next week following shiur, we're going to turn off the camera, turn off the recording, turn off the stream and have 15 minutes off the record, any question and answer on any topic that you would like. So it could be in halacha, halachic questions, it could be in hashkafa, it could be about emuna, it could be about intimacy and marriage and shalom bayis, it could be about parenting, maybe Yocheved will join me for it, but we'll do 15 minute off the record question and answer each week, so an incentive and motivation to continue to come in person. So if there are people who you know who used to come in person and say I might as well watch or listen online, why bother, the slushies and coffees aren't that good that they're not worth coming, now tell them it is worth coming back because there's great conversation that's only going to happen in person, not recorded. So for all those who are going to send an email, it's not fair, you live elsewhere, you gave to the global campaign, how come you can't listen or watch that part, you gotta live in Boca. If you live in Israel, maybe, maybe we'll find a way for you to see it. But if you're not living in Israel, then that's your punishment for not living in Boca. So the incentive, the incentive to be in Boca. So again, starting next week, I'll post this flyer in the WhatsApp groups to remind you, starting next week, it'll be at 9:00 AM, we're moving a little bit later, 9:00 AM, and we'll have the 15 minutes. Also, if you would like to submit questions for our weekly question and answer off the record, you can email me directly, but we also have an anonymous setup, a link where I can't see, I can't possibly see, it comes through a server probably somewhere in India, I have no idea, that forwards it, so I have no idea and can't find out who sends it. We have a system for anonymous questions, so if you want to submit a question, something you'd like us to discuss or address, no matter how sensitive, that's why we're going to be getting together and only in person and that starts next week. Okay, couple of emails and then we'll get back into our text, Rav David Abuhatzeira, Emuna U'Bitachon. L'chvod HaRav, thank you again for your inspiring shiurim which always give me chizuk. I got an email from someone who said, Rabbi, when you say blah blah blah blah blah, it makes people feel bad because they took the time to write the compliments and say the nice things and it's sort of dismissive of them. So I want to apologize, if I was dismissive, I'm serious, I take every email seriously, I get lots of unsolicited constructive criticism on a daily basis. No, no, it's good, it's good, that's how you improve and grow, I'm not just talking about Yocheved, I'm saying in general I get on a daily basis and that's how you grow, so one of them was and I take it to heart, I don't say it to be dismissive of the people who took the time. I cherish it, I appreciate it, I'm glad they write it. And when I read it, it makes me feel good. And it's good to feel good. You know, I was happy, there was a Rosh Yeshiva, there was a big Rav from the Mir Yerushalayim, he gave a shiur here last year, two years ago before Pesach. And he told a story in it about how good it feels when a talmid after shiur says Rebbe, that was a great shiur, thank you. And it's nice to know that big people also want to get feedback. You know, we spoke last week, one of the emails I got or text messages from one of our kids from someone was about how last week we validated that human emotions are what make us human. And emuna is not meant to suppress it, emuna is not meant to replace it, emuna is not meant to make us numb to it, it's to help us interpret it and to process it. So sadness is a human emotion and when we go through loss or experience pain, we should feel sad or we should grieve. And when we have something happy, we should be joyful. And those are human emotions. And anxiety, anxiousness is a human emotion. How we channel it, what we do with it, how we speak to ourselves and regulate ourselves with it, that's where emuna comes in, but it's a human emotion. So feeling validated is also a human emotion. It's nice when someone compliments you. Thank you, dinner was delicious. Thank you, that speech was really meaningful. Thank you for acknowledging that thing that I did. It's a very nice feeling. So the people who take the time and they write it, I appreciate it and I read it and it means something to me and it motivates me. So thank you. When I say yada yada yada blah blah blah blah, I'm not dismissing the person who wrote it, I'm trying to be humble, be humble. It's not I'm trying to be humble, it's very awkward to read something nice someone's saying about you out loud, so that's how I get around it. So now you know what yada yada yada blah blah blah blah means. I'll try to figure out another way of either just skipping that part. But then if I skip that part, then it's not nice to the person who wrote it because they sound like they're ungrateful because they didn't say thank you. So I'll say, someone wrote words of thanks that we're skipping and then we'll pick up from there. Hashem set up a personal trust fund for me last year and gives me constant emuna chizuk relating to last week's class. Most times I find that real emuna struggle comes in when I don't know if or when the yeshua will come. This is usually the way Hashem designs the world in all areas, shidduchim, children, parnassa, health. It would be so much easier to fast forward to the future, see the exact design for me, go back to my current life situation. Right? If we all knew that this is how it works. You'll get married, it's going to take six years, 16 years, six months, six weeks, six days. If we knew the schedule, we could pace ourselves and we could prepare. If you knew you're going to heal, you gotta go through this treatment, this process, please God, it'll be good, you'll live a long life, okay, you can endure. If we had the crystal ball, if we knew what was to come, if we got to see the end, then we could pace ourselves and we could prepare ourselves. But that's not the way it is. If that would be the case, there wouldn't be growth and that's the whole point. One specific situation is teaching me this message in a tangible way. Last summer we realized we never got our 2023 tax refund. So we filed a claim and they sent a replacement check that we never received. After a lot of back and forth with the IRS, they conducted a search and found the check was stolen. We got a packet that someone else received both the check, forged our signatures and cashed them. It's bizarre because we've received all of our mail including the weekly letters from the IRS informing us they're researching the check. Somehow the checks themselves aren't making it to us. After hours on the phone, visits to the post office, dealing with a lot of bureaucracy, we received a letter that another replacement would be sent our way. Guess what happened? It was stolen again. This time the person even had the guts to add her name to mine and my husband's forged signatures. PSA, if anyone knows someone named Christina Castellano, she's wanted by the FBI. So we filed another claim and are hoping this time it'll make its way to us. Why am I sharing this story? Because I honestly find it entertaining. Most people who hear about this get all upset for me because it isn't fair. How could this be happening? But this drama is exactly is exciting because it proves to me the exact message from last week's shiur, that Hashem has a trust fund waiting for me. I'm not stressed out about this because I know Hashem has x amount of money set aside for me. He'll choose to give it to me at the perfect time. Someone else may be taking all my money and will suffer the consequence one day, but nobody can touch what's meant for me. If I didn't know how much the check was for or if it would ever come to me, maybe I would be stressed because someone is stealing my money, taking it away from me. But it's not my money, it's Hashem's money. He's waiting for the exact moment when I'm meant to have it. So this actually helps me feel calm and internalize what real bitachon means. Trusting yeshua is there, my job is to be patient, do the necessary hishtadlus, effort, and trust in the master planner. This is really what everything in life is all about. I want to be able to fully trust Hashem as every yeshua planned is holding in His storehouse, waiting to send it for the right time. Nothing that anyone does can get in the way of Hashem giving me exactly what I deserve at the perfect time. So that attitude again, the living with emuna, it's not just the opium of the masses, it's not just a coping strategy, it's emes. Emes ve'emuna, it's the emes. There is a Hashem and He runs the world and everything we're learning and everything we're trying to practice, it's the emes. You know what else it is? It's really good. It's really good for you. It's really good for you. Instead of getting stressed and bent out of shape and anxious and upset, it's really good for you. It's really good for you. Okay. Thank you this author writes thank you blah blah blah blah blah but seriously can I read it when it says blah blah blah? Thank you blah blah blah but seriously from the bottom of my heart thank you. A friend of mine was starting an intense therapy journey and wanted to show her some love and care so I ordered her a brunch. Unfortunately it was delivered to a wrong address which they say has never happened before. I got frustrated and upset because I was excited for my friend to feel pampered after her therapy. But after listening to the shiur I took a deep breath and said the brunch package is exactly where it's meant to be. The person that received it called the company and the company told her she can enjoy it they'll send another one to my friend a different day. I'm sure the person that received it deserved it and Hashem was looking out for her from above. I hope to hear one day the end of that story that it was needed that day but I believe from the bottom of my heart it was where it was meant to be. Thank you a listener from London. So again you could get bent out of shape and angry and upset and frustrated and disappointed and resentful. The plan didn't work out. The brunch was meant to get to my friend. Or you can say the brunch is where it's meant to be and the person who got it needed it that day and my friend will get it when she is meant to get it. It just helps us live life. I was driving... yeah like our brunch. We're still looking for where it was meant to be. We went to a wedding in New York and our kids who were in New York at the time were also invited met us at the hotel we were staying and I Uber ate... Uber eats... what's the past tense of Uber eats? Uber eated? Uber eated? Uber eatsed? I ordered on Uber eats the food and it said it came to the hotel and we were very hungry and I spent because I'm a little bit stubborn this way over an hour looking all over the lobby all over the hotel and its conference center then across the street to hotel across the street to see if maybe it went to the wrong hotel and its conference center and to this day we have no idea where the food is. But it was where it was meant to be and our stomachs and our stomachs were meant to be empty. I was driving my daughter and two of her friends to a Bat Mitzvah event today and it was a long drive and the maps kept updating it with additional minutes due to traffic and rain. One of the girls started asking are we there yet? That's how you read that. Incessantly and backseat driving. So after trying to ignore them and not get aggravated I noticed the little sticker from the BRS emuna shiur on my windshield and I said to her girls name you are where you're meant to be right now in my car and we'll get there when we get there. I don't know if it registered with the girls but it sure did make me feel better. Thanks as always for sharing the shiurim so get the decal put it in your car and it will make things better as well. It'll make things better as well. Long time listener grateful fan from Memphis. Shiurim get me through countless loads of laundry bouts of exercise long hours in the kitchen and difficult times that stretch my emuna muscles. Here's a cute little emuna story for you. We had a short blackout in our neighborhood for no apparent reason. Unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence. Luckily the water in the urn was still hot so I could have coffee. When I pushed the button to dispense the water it didn't work. I had no idea it was electronic and I had been using that button not just on weekdays but on Shabbos. Because of the blackout I learned I was inadvertently doing melacha every single Shabbos and I was able to stop that practice and do teshuva. Thank you Hashem for the blackout. In every moment you could look and find a reason to be grateful. Something to be grateful for. Hope all is well just want to thank you we borrowed the phrase embrace your place for our Yom HaZikaron lessons that took place today. I work in Hasmonaean High School in London as the informal educator and when we were brainstorming ideas for our Yom HaZikaron takeaway message someone mentioned Agam Berger's בדרך אמונה בחרתי ובדרך אמונה שפתי. I immediately translated this as embrace your place. This is a phrase extremely familiar from your podcast. Our sessions were based on this idea were extremely successful. The girls found the idea very relevant. We also produced yellow bracelets with this message on a tangible takeaway message from the session. Finally have our own emuna merch in the UK. Thank you for inspiring and enabling to inspire the future generation and here is a picture of the bederech emuna bacharti embrace your place yellow bracelets. Pasuk from Tehillim bederech emuna bacharti embrace your place one day we'll add it to our merch options. We'll end with one last letter and then we'll dive into the text again. And this is from my dear friend Michael who was finding it very frustrating when you follow the news. If people are very tied to the news in America Israel and around the world and too obsessed and tied and watching and immersed and influenced you can find yourself in a constant state of rage outrage anger. Oh someone's getting points for coming to the emuna shiur. Or I don't know what's going on but welcome. So my friend decided that rather than all day long feel frustrated... frustrated and angry and upset that this politician, this world leader, this circumstance, the United Nations, the Houthis, the oval, whatever, instead of being furious, upset, disappointed, angry, outraged and filled with rage all day long, we can control ourselves. So he authored based on the 12 step program his five steps for how to engage and interact with world news. And I'd like to read to you his five steps and endorse them and encourage all of us can live with them. Step number one: we admitted we were powerless over world events that through our own pessimism and despair our lives have become unmanageable. Number two: came to believe that our faith in Hashem could restore us to acceptance, serenity and hope. Number three: made a decision to turn our lives over to the care of Hashem. Step 11, which is number four: sought through prayer and Torah study to improve our conscious contact with Hashem, express gratitude for all that we have and pray only for His wisdom. And His fifth step, parallel to step 12: having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the profound effect of this belief, we tried to live this way in our everyday lives and with all those around us. I'll post these five steps. We can regulate ourselves based on what we learn and listen to and hear in the world and the enormous frustration we often feel. We don't have to indulge or give in to the emotion that rises within us of the rage or the outrage or the anger or the frustration. We can be posted and updated on what's going on in the world and nevertheless put our faith in Hashem and regulate ourselves. We shared years and years ago and once made, I think during Corona and COVID when I was desperate to connect with people and find ways to interact and add meaning and content, I did these three minutes of meaning video. You may remember I posed with an iguana in the park for one of them, a frozen iguana that was hibernating in the winter. I sat in a cockpit of a pilot for one of them on an airplane about being a pilot not a passenger. I had fun with it. We should go back to that. Those were fun. So one of them I did was standing next to a thermostat and spoke about the classic, as many have, that you have a choice in life. You can see yourself as a thermometer or a thermostat. A thermometer tells you the temperature. Tells you the temperature. You think you may have fever, you think you're sick, Chas v'shalom your child is sick, so you take a thermometer and you can find out the temperature. You can't do anything with it, I mean you could go to the doctor and maybe try to take a medicine, go in the ice bath, you could do something to try to lower, there you go, you could do something to try to lower the temperature, but the thermometer only tells you the temperature. The thermostat lets you control the temperature. Our mission in life is to be a thermostat not a thermometer. Don't be a victim of your emotions and feelings. Don't say I'm outraged, I'm so angry, I'm jealous, I'm anxious. Just having this conversation with a dear friend yesterday who often gets anxious and starts to think and worry and fear what will be and how will that work out and how can I go vacation there, what if I get sick and I need to go into a hospital, what can I this and how can I that? And I tried to remind him while validating and recognizing that we can't always control those emotions and of course when necessary we need to take medication or get treatment or support for it, but just the general everyday anxiousness increasingly that we feel, one of the ways to try to approach it is to remember that we are a thermostat not a thermometer. Don't be a victim of the emotion and say what can I do, this is how I feel. Realize I'm not a thermometer, I don't just report how I feel, I don't just report the temperature, I control the temperature. I control my temperature. I don't have to be filled with anger. I don't have to fly off the handle. I don't have to raise my voice. I don't have to lose my cool. I don't have to be impatient. I don't have to be filled with envy or jealousy. I can be a thermostat. I can regulate my temperature, not just report to you my temperature. We are in control. We are in control. Maybe we'll come back to another week, another time, but I once read a phenomenal approach to, we make the mistake of thinking that the event happens that stimulates an emotion and the emotion is automatic and immediate, but it's not true. There's a moment, there's a pause, there's a space in between the stimulus and the response. And it's in that space, it's in that pause that we as the thermostat can choose in that moment how we are going to react. We have a moment and we can choose and we can choose. Be a thermostat. I'm going to address the issue but I'm not going to raise my voice or lose my cool, my composure, my dignity. I'm going to address the issue but I'm not going to be filled with envy or jealousy, I'm going to see it in a context. I'm going to address with the IRS and try to get the check again, but I'm not going to be angry because if this was designated from Hashem, it's in my trust fund, it's in my escrow, He's going to get it to me one way or another. It's not immediate, it's not automatic. We don't have to react in that specific or particular way. We can, in that pause, in that space, if we're conscious of it. I told him this friend in this conversation yesterday. I don't remember if I told the emunah story here. If I did, cut me off or listen to it again. But over Pesach Baruch Hashem we had everyone home, our whole family. And we have more drivers in the car today than we have cars. And I came out of my house one day, I go home to go through the front door to get my car to meet someone at a meeting, only to find the driveway empty, including my car not being there. So my immediate reaction was to get very upset and angry. Which one of the critters that live in my home took my car without even asking me or confirming with me that it was available? So I felt inside me, you know, when it's like rising from deep within you and like the sweat is beginning to build up and the pulse is increasing and your heartbeat is bouncing out of your chest and you're just ready to, the chutzpah, the chutzpah! It's my car. Who can take it? Who said you could drive it all together? And you didn't ask me if I need it. Then I just slowed down and I said to myself, you know what? My meeting's at Starbucks and I have enough time to get there and it's not a far walk and I like walking. And you remember through April the weather here was magnificent. So it took 13 minutes to walk from my house. And I actually in that moment decided this was fantastic and it was from Hashem. I embraced my car's place, which was not my driveway, and said I got to walk there, I got to walk back. And maybe from now on when I have a meeting there I should budget in to walk because my legs work and my AirPods work and you can return a phone call or listen to a shiur and use that time well. I also put on our family WhatsApp group, whoever took my car don't ever do that again and from now on and from now on please confirm that it's available before you take it, but instead of doing it from anger and figuring out the consequence and lashing out at the person, it was calm. All because in that moment, all because in that moment I tried to remember I'm not a thermometer. I don't have to just register my temperature on the family WhatsApp group right now, which will make their phones overheat, but I can be a thermostat and just say from now on please confirm the car is available before you take it, I will be enjoying my walk to Starbucks for my meeting. So in those moments we can employ these five principles based on the 12 steps, which is essentially boiled down to you are a thermostat not a thermometer. Don't just report your temperature as if you can't control it, as if you're a victim of it. Be a thermostat. Be in charge, set the temperature, the desired temperature. Then battle your spouse over what it should be, the desired temperature, too hot, too cold, lower it, raise it, who's going to get the final word on it. But you can set the thermostat of life, all of us can set the thermostats of our lives and don't have to be victims of them. Okay, we're on page lamed zayin in our book Emuna Bitachon, Rav David Abuhatzeira, the great Rav David Abuhatzeira, the tzaddik of Nahariya, who lives in the north of Israel, he and his whole community should be safe and sound with all of Klal Yisrael. And we're up to the perek that begins רצון יראיו יעשה השתדלות רק בדרך התורה. We've been focusing and talking a lot about initiative. Taking initiative, living with initiative, what initiative looks like. And the right balance between initiative and effort and faith. And faith. On the one hand we believe it's all from Hashem. Well if it's all from Hashem, why do I have to go to work? Why do I have to try to make a shidduch? Why do I have to go to the doctor to get better? Why can't I sit back and relax in my recliner and wait for Hashem to simply deliver the miracle? The answer is Hashem defined a world, designed a world where He invites us to be His partner. We can't be passive spectators to our own salvation and outcome. We have to be active participants in it. And we demonstrate and we express faith with our words and we express faith with our actions, with our feet and our hands through the initiative that we take and the work that we do. How much faith, how much initiative? We've alluded to and we'll continue to explore, a reasonable amount, a normative amount, the right amount. Not excessive. Excessive initiative is a lack of faith. Too little initiative is counterfeit faith. So we need to find just the right amount. לאחר שיודע בבאר כי חובת ההשתדלות מתבקשת ממנו אך פרנסתו אינה מהשתדלות אלא מברכת הנותן לחם לכל בשר. After we've clarified like the author of the IRS letter, after we realize that Hashem as of Rosh Hashana decided how much we're going to have, He put it in escrow and this is the maximum you can get and no one could touch it, no one can tap into it, no one can take it. It's designated for you if you earn it, if you do what's necessary to get it. And then when we realize that when we deposit our paycheck, it may say Boker Tov synagogue on it, it may say whatever your your company is on it, it may say internal revenue service on it, but every paycheck we deposit really says your Father in Heaven. Signed, your Father in Heaven. Because that's where the paycheck came from. Well you say, what do you mean, I worked hard and it was my creativity and entrepreneurship and ingenuity, I invested in that stock and I saw this was going to be the dip in the market and this was the time to get back in and it's all me, I bought that real estate, I own that nursing home, I did that, it's all me. And who gave you that insight, that wisdom, that strength, that courage, that conviction? Who gave all that to you that came to that conclusion? Where'd that all come from? Someone else had the same idea this was the time to get back in the market. Someone else bought real estate and it flopped and failed on its face. Someone else also bought a nursing home and then they found whatever problem in it, it was taken away by the health department. Someone else just as smart as you and talented as you and worked just as hard as you and had the opposite outcome as you. So who's responsible for your outcome? The real name behind every paycheck we deposit is signed, your Father in Heaven who loves you. He gave it to us through that mechanism or through that means, but really it's signed by... You know, somebody gives you a gift. Somebody buys you an Israel bond, let's say. Somebody buys you an Israel bond. Back in the day, my children's bar mitzvahs, for some reason most of our mail still comes from this, I don't know why, the Israel bonds our kids got when they were born and I don't know what we never filled out or need to fill out for it. But they gave you an Israel bond. So when when our children grow up and we present them this Israel bond, did the Israel bond give them the Israel bond? No, so-and-so bought you this Israel bond as a gift. It says on the bond Israel bond, but who really gave it to you? That really nice, wonderful, amazing family in Boca who love you and who bought you that gift. So even though there might be another name on the paycheck we deposit, even though it might come from another source, behind it all the gift is הנותן לחם לכל בשר, it comes from Hashem who gives bread to all living beings. ישכיל לעשות ההשתדלות כפי שמבקש הקדוש ברוך הוא מכל איש מישראל בדרך התורה והמצוות. Since He's really the one giving it to us, we should earn it and deposit it and then spend it according to the will and the way of the one who gave it to us, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. כי לא יעשה השתדלותו שלא בדרך התורה נמצא כי אין בטחונו שלם כלל. Now Hashem says, here's the deal. I have a trust for you. And every trust, the trustee or the benefactor of the trust is allowed to make conditions on the trust. I've had many conversations over the years with members of our community who are setting up trusts for their children or grandchildren and wanted to review what they were thinking about the conditions. Some make conditions that you can only get this trust fund if you're not learning in kollel and you're working. Others make conditions you can only get it if you're not working and you're only learning in kollel. Whatever conditions, you can only get the trust fund if you say Hallel with a bracha Yom Ha'atzmaut, you can only get the trust fund if you did not vote in the WZO election. Whatever conditions you want to put, everyone, it's their money, they earned it, they set it up, they're entitled to make their conditions for the trust fund. Some one grandfather was concerned in our community only put money, you can only access the trust grandchildren if you went on March of the Living. You need to visit the concentration camps in Poland and know what happened to our people. You can only get it if you marry Jewish. If you don't marry Jewish you whatever conditions you want to put on the trust fund, you're entitled to put on the trust fund. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the Almighty, is a trust fund set up for us. And He says since I'm the benefactor of the trust, of all the good things in your life, your health, your wealth, your prosperity, your happiness, everything you have, here are the conditions, there are 613 of them. But just like hopefully the parent or grandparent setting it up for the children and grandchildren are doing it for their own good, Hashem's 613 conditions He sets up for us are for our own good. They're the recipe for how to navigate this world in a meaningful and purposeful way. שכן כיצד יתכן שמאמין בהשם ומאמין רצונו. How could it be you're going to take the trust and violate the will of the benefactor? You're going to enjoy the money, the wealth, the health, the happiness they've given you and go against and defy and spit in the face and be disrespectful? אם יודע הוא כי השם יתברך הוא הנותן לחם לכל בשר והוא המחיה את כל בריאה ודאי לא נעלם ממנו מעשיו כשהוא ממרה את פיו ימנע הקדוש ברוך הוא ממנו את הטוב. In the same time you're going to go through the process of tapping in, of accessing, of withdrawing from the trust and you're going to do it in a way that violates the will of the benefactor? Hakadosh Baruch Hu put us in this world and the moment we realize it and think about it and are mindful of it, when we can get ourselves to a life and a lifestyle where we feel it, Hashem thank you I woke up this morning and all my parts are working, Hashem thank you there's a roof on my head and the same head count in my home, Hashem thank you for the job I'm going to or the relationships or the family or the joy or the pleasures that I have, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for the gifts, even the struggles, the challenges as I navigate them, thank you for giving me you to help me navigate them. Hashem you've given me so much, I feel so indebted. I feel so grateful. I feel so obliged, and to tap in and to use and to apply all the gifts you've given me. I mean, is there a bigger chutzpah in the world than if you or if someone leaves money, gifts money to a child or grandchild and says you know what I care most passionately about is Jewish continuity and the Jewish future, is Israel, our brothers and sisters there, is this, is that. And then the person who takes the money goes and uses it, I don't know, to go rally and demonstrate with the people at Columbia against Israel. They go use that money to go ich veis, invest in the United Nations and undermining to advocate for the candidate who feels that you should start a boycott arms embargo against Israel. Is there a bigger chutzpah to take the money and use it to go against the very values of what the benefactor stands for? Well Hakadosh Baruch Hu deposited us in this world, he created us and he gifts us and gives us everything that we have. Shouldn't we use it now to fulfill his will? Shouldn't we use it to advance his mission? Shouldn't we access it and withdraw from it in the means that he prescribes? לפיכך אדם המאמין יקיים ואף יהדר בקיום מצוותיו יתברך ובכך יקדש את השם בעולם. Our mission and our mandate is to take all the resources and all the gifts and everything that we have and use it to advance his mission in this world. Mission possible. That's why we're here. Mission possible. That's why we're here. One of the other names of the many books that I've written in my head is Soul Mission or Soul Purpose, S-O-U-L, not S-O-L-E-R, Soul Mission is we're all here. We were born, we were created, we're here not to be takers but to be givers, not to receive but to give. That's why we're here, we have a mission. We're unique, we're distinct, every one of us, and we have a purpose. And it doesn't mean we can't enjoy life as we are fulfilling and pursuing that mission and that purpose, but we have to constantly renew asking ourselves why am I here? What am I meant to accomplish and achieve, what difference am I meant to make? What difference am I meant to make to my family, among my friends, in my community, for my people, in this world. Why am I here? What skills, what gifts, what talents, what resources do I have? What challenges, what liabilities, what weaknesses will hold me back? And to take all of that and to identify and figure out why am I here? We've spoken about this many times. My favorite introduction to Mesillas Yesharim, the Ramchal the great Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto says that a person, יסוד היסודות ושורש העבודה, that the source of everything and the root of service to Hashem is להתאמץ ולהתברר אצל אדם for a person to clarify and discover the truth מה חובת האדם בעולמו. What is your mission in your world, not the world, not what is your purpose and mission in the world? The world is a big place with billions of people. The world. It's not what's your mission and purpose in the world, it's what's your mission and purpose in your world. Every one of us is a world unto ourselves. We have our own world, our own DNA, our own background, our own socioeconomic status, our own relationships, our own baggage, our own hang-ups, our own krechts and chronic pains, our own opportunities, our own resources. We are our own world, each and every one of us. And the core and the source of a meaningful and a purposeful life is to ask ourselves מה חובת האדם בעולמו. To every morning wake up and say what's on tap today? What's on my plate? What's my mission today? What's my mission today? And by the way, some days the answer will be my mission is take care of yourself because you can't take care of others and pursue your mission to transform the world if you're not well, and there will be days when the answer is you, that's the mission today. That can't be the mission every day, that's a big problem if it's the mission every day, but there'll be days that the mission today is take care of you. But every day has to begin with what's my mission in my world. My world. Each of us are our own world. In my world, what's my mission? And my mission always is about sanctifying Hashem's name. It's the beginning of this week's parsha, the second parsha we'll read this week, Kedoshim tihyu. Be holy. What does be holy mean? We say it in Kedusha every time we respond and answer the chazzan's repetition of the Amidah, we declare נקדש את שמך בעולם. We make a pledge and a promise every day, it's how we start our day at Shacharis. When we hear and respond to Kedusha, Hashem, נקדש את שמך בעולם. You know what I'm going to do today Hashem? I'm going to sanctify your name in this world. That's what I'm going to do today. checkout line at Costco and walking through Town Center Mall, at my work and place of business or shopping in Publix. And by the way, we make the mistake of thinking, where does Kiddush Hashem happen? Where does it happen? Among the non-Jews of the world. Don't forget, make a Kiddush Hashem when you are a kid in a class trip. We're going on the school bus today to the class trip. Don't shoot spitballs out the window, don't make funny faces at the car behind, and when we get to the museum, make sure that you interact, say please and thank you and hold the door and make a Kiddush Hashem. But that's not what the pasuk says. You know what the pasuk says? נקדש את שמך בעולם. It says ולא תחללו את שם קדשי בתוך בני ישראל. Pasuk says the biggest Kiddush Hashem and Chillul Hashem, let's start with, among the Jewish people. Let's not turn off our fellow Jews. I had a different conversation recently with someone who said his biggest struggle with living an observant life are the hypocritical observant Jews who turn him off, who don't practice what they preach. And I've been 20 years a refrain to him, don't judge Judaism by the Jews. Don't judge Judaism by the Jews. And don't walk out of the gym because you caught your trainer in the corner having a donut. You don't go to the gym for your trainer, you go for you. And just because your trainer who lectures you on the donut had three in the corner and you caught him, doesn't mean there's no point in going to the gym anymore, I'm not going. Don't judge Judaism by the Jews and don't give up on the gym because your trainer might have been a hypocrite. Might have been a hypocrite. The biggest and most important venue of Kiddush Hashem or Chillul Hashem, sanctifying God's name or desecrating it, setting back the mission is among the Jewish people. And we happen to live in the most densely populated Jewish community outside of Israel, where 50% of the households are Jewish and 90% are unaffiliated and they're judging their Judaism by us, you and me. Their interaction with us at a doctor's office, at their work, in a transaction, doing business, at the mall, in the supermarket, at the gym, it's with us. And what we pledge and promise every day we wake up and say, נקדש את שמך בעולם. Hashem, my mission, my mandate today is to sanctify Your name. I'm gonna make other people say, I want a piece of that. That's an observant Jew? They were so courteous and kind, so thoughtful and sensitive, had such honesty and such integrity, their word was their bond, they meant what they said, they cared about others, they carried themselves with such dignity, I want a piece of that. Wow, I saw and I interacted, I saw the way that they had a meal with their family, I saw the way they treated the server, I saw the way that, wow, I want a piece of that. Give me how can I learn more about what they have and where they come from? That's what I want for myself. That's our mission. That's our mission. How exactly we fulfill it, that's up to us each individually. That's what we have to explore and try to figure out and find, but that's what we're here for. So if you wake up and you realize life is not about me. It's not about me. Most people wake up and we are at the center of the circle of our life. We live this egocentric life. We're learning Tanya together now on Wednesday mornings and we had our Tanya shiur this morning and we're up to the fact that we have shtei nefashos, shtei neshamos, we have two souls. And one of them is, one of them is the חלק אלוה ממעל ממש, we have the godly soul, the holy soul, and then we have the klipa, sitra achra, the other side, the dark side. And the klipa, we'll get to klipas noga, but we have the klipa, the husk, the klipa is the peel, the klipa is what's blocking out the light. There's so much light and so much beauty and so much holiness and so much depth and so much profundity and so much spirituality and so much happiness and so much blessing. But there's this there's this peel, this klipa. And the way to understand klipa is egocentricity. Klipa's ego, the ego gets in the way. And the klipa's the filter, not the emuna glasses that we've all been trying to to wear, where we see the world through emuna. Hashem, I see You behind the chirping birds and the cool breeze and even the hot sun. Hashem, I feel You even the missing check and the frustrating traffic. Hashem, I'm interpreting the whole world, I'm embracing my place and I am where I'm meant to be because You're in charge of everything. Whether the my car is in my driveway or not and whether the traffic opens up for me or not and whether the IRS check comes or not, it's all from You and it's all from and it's all from above. Those are the emuna glasses. The klipa glasses are the people who look through the glasses and live this world where ego, I, me, it's all about me. What I want, what makes me happy, the way I thought this would happen, the way I wrote this up, how this makes me feel. Klipa is the kryptonite. It undermines all relationships and all happiness. Ego is the enemy. I'm reading a book now called Ego is the Enemy. Ego gets in the way. Ego is responsible for the biggest failures in history. Ego is at the root and Source of it all. Catastrophes occur because people were so arrogant and not humble, their ego is too big to admit they were wrong, to admit they were wrong. They have to have the humility. Relationships dissolve, they fall apart, they break up. Why? Because of ego. People don't care about the other party's happiness, it's all about them. Ego is the enemy. The klipa glasses interpret the entire world externally, superficially, and a shallow way, only based on our senses and what makes me happy. What gives me my pleasure? What's in it for me? What's in it for me? An I-life, a me-life, an ego-life. Ego is the enemy. Instead Machshavas HaAdam Beolamo asks not not not what are my rights and entitlements, but what are my duties and obligations. Not what can I get out of this, what can I give to this? Not what's in it for me, but how can I take me, how am I needed for you and for the world? It's an entirely different perspective and attitude towards life. To wake up and say it's not about me. Not. Now again, there's nothing wrong, a good meal and a good shlof and a nice vacation and enjoy your tennis and your mahjong and your golf and enjoy wearing nice clothes and doing nice, Hashem put us in a world and wants us to enjoy the pleasure of it, but all to be used and to advance the mission and the purpose that is not the ego and the I, but is transforming and redeeming and repairing the world in His image. נקדש את שמך ברבים Hashem I want to sanctify Your name. I have a mission and it's possible. Mission possible. How do I know it's possible? Because I woke up this morning. And if my mission were complete or my mission were hopeless or over, I wouldn't be here. So Modeh Ani ends with, we've said this many many times, Modeh Ani ends with the two words Rabba Emunasecha. Your faith God is great. In whom does God have faith? We have faith in Him, in whom does He have faith? He has faith in us. How do I know God still believes in me? Because I woke up this morning. Is there a better feeling in the world? You got in. You get the acceptance letter from the seminary, the yeshiva, the school, the job offer came through. Every morning when you wake up and open your eyes, it is an acceptance letter from the Almighty. Every morning you wake up your eyes, it is it is a offer letter from the Almighty. He says guess what, I've chosen to renew your mission another day. You got in, you're in. You're in my world another day. You got the job, you're on the mission. How do you know He believes in you? Because you woke up this morning. And if He didn't, if your mission were complete or over, you would not be here. Rabba Emunasecha. Hashem's faith in you is great because you woke up and you're here and now figure out why. Why are you awake? Why are you alive? Why are you here? While there's nothing wrong with mahjong, tennis or golf, that is not, I promise you, why you're here. It's not. Maybe there's someone whose spirits you lift by including them in the game. Maybe there's a difference that you make by organizing it so no one feels lonely or apart or isolated. Maybe there's a mission associated with it, but it's not what you're living for. It's not why you're here. Enjoy life, but don't confuse making a living with living. Taking and giving. Don't confuse being there for others and indulging your ego. So if you woke up this morning Hashem said you're in. I've accepted you, you made it. I'm extending an offer. You're in. Your contract is renewed. You live to see another day. I want you, your mission is not yet complete. You're alive because you're here for a mission. Now the question is what and why. So Hashem says, here's the deal. You know if you hire somebody and you give them a job, they come back to you and say, I can't do the job if I don't have an expense account. In order to do the job I'm going to need the following things, I need a phone and a computer, I'm going to need a big expense account, I can't do the sales and marketing without a budget for it. So we turn to Hashem and we davven in the morning, I can davven in one of two ways. Hashem, can You give me a livelihood? Can You make my portfolio increase and do better? Can You increase my net worth? Can You give me health and wellness and happiness? And Hashem says why? What do you need all those things for? And if you say well, you know, for me. I want I want to buy more things and I need more money for that. And I want to live life and have pleasure and happiness and I need my health for that. So you know, me. It's all about me and I need it for me, so can You give it to me for me? Hashem says hmm, I don't know because there's a lot of places I can give it. But if you turn to Hashem and you say Hashem, I work for You, I serve You, I'm here for You, and I accept my mission from You. But here's the deal Hashem my boss, here's the deal boss, I accept the mission. But I can't complete it if I don't have my health and my wellness. How am I meant to complete Your mission? If I don't have resources, how am I... How am I meant to complete the mission? It's an entirely different way to daven. Do we daven for the very same things that we want because of my ego and my I, because of me, because I'm a taker? Or do we daven for those very same things because we say Hashem, I can't serve you, I can't pursue and fulfill my mission, I can't answer my why unless I have these resources, my health, my wellness, and my wealth to be able to do it successfully. It's two ways to live life and really only two ways to live life. The kedusha or sitra achra. Holy or profane and serving the other side. Ego is the enemy. We're here to fulfill a mission. And here's the thing, and I'll end with this. Here's the thing: why do people pursue the ego? Why do people indulge the ego? Why do they allow the ego to drive every decision they make, every thought they have, everything they say? Because they think what will give me the greatest pleasure, the greatest happiness in life if I indulge my ego. But it's exactly the opposite. It's exactly the opposite. Look at the people you know with the biggest ego and have they found happiness? They're pursuing and chasing something they'll never find. They're always unhappy, insecure, paranoid, doubtful, pursuing more because their ego needs it, more honor. And the people who their life is not about their ego, but it's about not what they can take, but what they can give. It's all about not the rights and entitlements, but duties and obligations. It's all about what's their mission and why are they here, what difference can they make. The people living for purpose and to make a difference are the happiest people you know. The happiest people you know. I've shared countless times, all the research supports, Google it on your own, ChatGPT, however you want, card catalog at the library, whatever you want. Look it up and you will find that even today in modern psychology and therapy, the research shows one of the ways to treat depression, one of the ways to treat anxiety is volunteering. Go figure out what difference you can make. What do you mean? I would think it's all about how should we treat depression, anxiety, shopping, mall. It's also true. What do they call that? Retail therapy, thank you. Retail therapy. Retail therapy. It's not true. It's not therapy. It's gonna put you in therapy or whoever has to pay the credit card bill in therapy. It's not true. It's not true. It doesn't work. It's never worked. It never will work. When you spend on yourself, when you indulge yourself, you won't be happy. For the moment you'll be happy. For a moment you'll be happy, but it's fleeting and it will disappear as quickly as it came. You want to transform yourself and improve and be better? Don't spend that time on retail therapy. Spend that time saying, where can I volunteer? What difference can I make? What's my mission? What's my purpose? Why am I here? Why did I wake up this morning? Why do I have these talents, these gifts, these blessings, these resources? How should I put them to work? What should I do with them? How do I repair and redeem this world? And I promise you, you will feel on fire. You'll feel so much better about yourself. You'll feel fantastic. And volunteering doesn't have to mean at a soup kitchen. Volunteering doesn't have to mean Habitat for Humanity. Volunteering doesn't have to mean that you fly to a place that just had a hurricane or natural catastrophe and you're helping them clean up or build. Volunteering can mean being thoughtful enough to say, who might be isolated or alone has hasn't heard from someone that I can call and check in on? Who can I invite to have coffee who feels they have no friends in this world? Who could use a meal this Shabbos? Who could use flowers for no reason? We have the wonderful Hadar girls here today. I'm not sure why or what they're getting credit for, but I'm happy to have you. Come every week if you want. And they the beautiful school that is in our same building has a beautiful thing. Every Friday they deliver flowers to someone who they think could use it. One of the things the girls do. And they have a list and they have flowers and they try to drop it off at someone who could use it. Maybe someone went through a loss that week. Maybe someone going through a hard time. Maybe somebody just had a simcha. Maybe somebody who if for no reason there was a knock on the door and there's flowers say wow. Now what makes you feel better, getting flowers or giving flowers? The giving. Try it, this is your homework for next week. I promise you, I promise you, every time you pick up a phone and call someone for no reason, just to check in, just to say hi, just to be selfless, just to overcome your ego, it doesn't serve you, it doesn't have a function for you, there's nothing transactional about it for you, just because you care about someone else, you will hang up that phone and as good as they will feel, you will feel even better. You will feel even better. Volunteering doesn't have to mean something extraordinary, right? Again you start a soup kitchen, you start, volunteering can mean that you volunteer to see people outside yourself, to care about something and see a world bigger than yourself. נקדש את שמך בעולם. Hashem I want to sanctify your name. How do we sanctify his name? By wearing his brand. Wearing his brand. His brand. And giving it a better brand identity and brand worth. That is why we're here. But all of that only begins when I realize I'm not here randomly and by chance, I'm here for a reason. And I'm not here to take the most out of this world, I'm here to give the most to this world, and this world isn't all that there is. There is a next world, and there is a Hashem, there's something bigger and more, and I'm serving, and that he designed me and knows that that's what's going to give me the greatest happiness. So you want happiness and joy today, you want pleasure? No retail therapy. You want the biggest joy you can get out of life today, find meaning and purpose. And the biggest way to find meaning and purpose is to realize Raba emunasecha, Hashem your faith in me is great, I'm here for a purpose, I woke up this morning for a reason, and now I'm going to figure out why. Please stay for Sefer Tehillim, if everyone takes a booklet we can finish all Sefer Tehillim in a few minutes. Remember next week, 9:00 AM, we're moving to 9:00 AM with our question and answer after. If you want to submit an anonymous question, please do so. Have a great day.
