Transcript
Good morning, בוקר טוב Boker tov, welcome back to Parsha Perspectives for today. Great to be together again and continue our march through ספר בראשית Sefer Bereishis. No matter how many times we've read these פרשיות parshios, we've learned them and studied them. For some reason, we're hearing ourselves. I don't know why that's happening, that echo. Ah, I do know. Sorry about that. Anyway, again, it's great to be marching through ספר בראשית Sefer Bereishis together. And no matter how many times we've learned these stories, these פרשיות parshios, there's new perspectives, new ideas, new inspiration that jumps out of the פסוקים psukim and off the page into our lives each and every year. פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah, תשפ\"ה Taf Shin Pey Hey is different than תשפ\"ד Taf Shin Pey Daled and different than it will be in תשפ\"ו Taf Shin Pey Vav. Every year is different. We're different, the world is different, and the filter and glasses through which we see and read and interpret and learn the פרשה parsha is different. So it's constantly changing. Parsha Shir is generously sponsored by Becky and Avi Katz and family in memory of David Gross, לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מנש l'ilui nishmas Dovid ben Menachem Manesh. This morning's שיעור shiur is sponsored by Lainie Tractenberg and Andrea and Alan Lieberman for the רפואה שלמה refuah shleimah of אסתר בת חשא חסיה גולדא Esther bas Chasha Chasya Golda. She should have a complete, speedy, and painless רפואה שלמה refuah shleimah. Thank you as always to all of our generous sponsors. We have the tables and chairs. We're constantly making improvements and upgrades here. Coffee, slushies, pastries, new מנינים minyanim in the morning and at night, tables and chairs. Join us here at BRS live and in person to come learn.Page 106 in the ArtScroll Stone חומש Chumash. Our פרשה parsha begins, ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה Vayehiyu chayei Sarah meah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim shnei chayei Sarah. Sarah's lifetime was 100 years old and 20 years old and 7 years old. These were the years of Sarah's life. I don't know about you, I feel like we just getting to know her. How could she pass away? How could she disappear so quickly? We just met her. We're just getting to know her. There's so little dialogue, so little conversation, there's so little we know of Sarah from the text itself. And already, לך לך Lech Lecha, וירא Vayeira, that's it. Beginning of חיי שרה Chayei Sarah, it's already her funeral. She's already gone. We barely know her. What we know is she's enormously significant. We won't spend time now, we've spoken about in the past, that once Sarah expires, once Sarah is gone, Avram lives for more than 30 more years, but we don't learn or know anything more about his influence or contribution in the world, because without his partner, without his other half, without Sarah, he is utterly incomplete. And even though he may have another co-wife, and he may have a future throughout which he lives the twilight of his life, it's not Sarah. Sarah is his partner. Sarah's on this mission. Sarah transforms the world with him, and without her, he cannot continue in the same way, which is why immediately after burying her, he pivots. יצחק Yitzchak needs a wife. I now am incomplete, I can't have the impact I once did, and therefore, it's time to begin to pass the mantle to יצחק Yitzchak. יצחק Yitzchak needs a wife. I need a legacy, I need a future, I need a continuity, I need to make a contribution, whether it's with his own biological child or we make contributions in this world. There are those who don't have biological children, but they have countless, countless spiritual children. Think about the Lubavitcher Rebbe, זכותו יגן עלינו zechuso yagen aleinu. The great Lubavitcher Rebbe didn't have biological children of his own. And there are other great giants of our תורה Torah history who didn't have biological children, but their influence, their impact, the legacy they left, they transformed the world radically. So Avram pivots, right after he completes burying Sarah, he realizes, I need a wife for יצחק Yitzchak. I need a legacy, I need a future. Maybe my direct contribution is beginning to wane, but my indirect contribution, my legacy contribution, my continuity contribution, it's time to focus on.Rashi famously tells us, ויהיו חיי שרה vayehiyu chayei Sarah. She lived 127 years. That is not the most efficient way of telling us. It would have been much more efficient to simply say she lived 127 years. Nobody puts on a tombstone, she was 100 and 20 and 7 years old. You know why? Because you pay by the letter on the tombstone. So that's not why. The reason nobody does that, even if it were free, even if you got a bulk deal, no matter how many letters you want on one tombstone, special deal for מרחשון Marcheshvan. Doesn't matter. You still wouldn't write 100 years and 20 years and 7 years, because that's not a normal way of describing someone's age. The normal way is 127 years. So why do we say 100 years and 20 years and 7 years? זאגט רש\"י Zogt Rashi, לכך נכתב שנה בכל כלל וכלל לומר לך שכל אחד נדרש לעצמו Lekach nichtav shanah b'chol klal v'klal, lomar lecha shekol echad nidrash l'atzmo. Because each is significant in their own right, we don't just combine them, 100 years, 20 years, 7 years. בת קוף כבת כף לחטא Bas kuf k'vas chaf l'chet, when she was 100, she was as pure and as innocent as 20 when it came to sin, mistakes, indiscretions. Why 20? Because a person is only subject to עונש onesh, is only subject to punishment at 20. We're liable when we become בר מצוה Bar Mitzvah, when we reach the age of majority, but we only become, we only suffer consequences, עונש onesh, at 20. מה בת כף לא חטאה, הרי אינה בת עונשין, אף בת קוף לא חטא Ma bas chaf lo chata, harei eina bas onshin, af bas kuf lo chet. ובת כף כבת זיין ליופי U'vas chaf k'vas zayin l'yofi. When she was 20, she had the complexion and the jubilance and the joy and the energy and the sweetness of a seven-year-old. So 100 and 20 and 7 because they're significant to each component of her age. And then Rashi continues, שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah, these are the years of Sarah's life. Says Rashi, a very cryptic comment, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. They were all equal in goodness. They were all equal. So there weren't, you know, sometimes people hit a milestone birthday. So, what do you say at the birthday party? Which was your favorite decade? Which decade, what period of your life, which unit, you know, what was your favorite, which had the biggest impact? Which would you rewind the clock to? What was the best, what were the best years of your life, the best decade of your life? Which was the best century of your life? Which was the best of your life? Which century did you like the most, Rabbi Fox? Which was the best of your life? In Sarah's case, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. They were all good. Now, that would be believable if you weren't aware of Sarah's life. But if you start to study Sarah's life, you learn it wasn't always easy. And yet, nevertheless, Rashi describes, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. So I want to start out, I got a new ספר sefer. I'm very grateful to my friend Jay Bardavid for sending me this ספר sefer. It's a new ספר sefer that came out recently called אמונה ובטחון Emunah U'bitachon from Rav David Abuhatzeira שליט\"א shlita. The great Rav David Abuhatzeira, from the Baba Sali, from the Abuhatzeiras in Nahariya, if you've ever been there. It's a long schlepp to the northern border, they should be safe and well in the north. You get a ברכה bracha. He has a ספר sefer on אמונה ובטחון Emunah U'bitachon and it was published specifically now during the war, lessons, messages of אמונה ובטחון Emunah U'bitachon. I think we're going to study a part of it in the אמונה emunah שיעור shiur. But as I was looking through it, there was a פרק perek, a chapter that jumped out that speaks specifically to the opening of our פרשה parsha. That's why we're incorporating a little אמונה emunah שיעור shiur into the פרשה parsha שיעור shiur, a little combo deal that you get today. So he says the following: לאחר שהישריש האדם בקרבו שהכל לטובה, יוכל להעפיל לדרגה הנשגבה אשר עליה נאמר כי אליונה שבמדרגות החסידות ותכלית החמודות היא הנקראת מידת ההשוואה L'achar shehishrish ha'adam b'kirbo shehakol l'tova, yochal l'ha'apil l'dargah hanisgavah asher aleha ne'emar ki elyona she'b'madreigos hachasidus v'tachlis hachamudos, hi nikreis midas ha'hishtavus. There is a concept called השתוות hishtavus. We spoke about it last week in the אמונה emunah שיעור shiur. השתוות Hishtavus is equanimity. Equanimity. My friend Rabbi Moshe Gersht wrote a book, It's All the Same to Me, which is all about this concept, this quality called השתוות hishtavus, equanimity. Equanimity is a fancy way of saying you don't get fazed, you don't get frazzled, nothing bothers you, you never get too happy, you never get too sad. You're never too excited, you're never too depressed. You recognize and you live life understanding and interpreting and receiving that all that happens is from Hashem and it's what's meant to be. So the candidate you didn't want to win one, you don't get too bent out of shape because you realize somehow it's all part of Hashem's master plan. You did your part. The candidate you did want to win one, you don't get too gleeful and joyful and spike a football before you're in the end zone that everything is going to be amazing and perfect and all the world's problems are solved because everything is from Hashem. You could be optimistic but we don't know. השתוות Hishtavus means whatever happens in our life, good news, bad news, in-between news, there's an equanimity. It's all equal to me. It's all equal to me. That doesn't mean that we deny or deprive ourselves of normal human emotion. If someone experiences loss, there's sadness. If someone experiences a שמחה simcha, a joyous milestone in the family, there's happiness. It's okay to have emotions and feelings, but all within range, within reason, השתוות hishtavus. There's an equanimity. And that's where the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov and others, it precedes the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov, but they get this from the פסוק pasuk. שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד Shivisi Hashem l'negdi samid, the first opening הלכה halacha of all שולחן ערוך Shulchan Aruch, the whole code of Jewish law is Hashem is opposite us always. שויתי ה' Shivisi Hashem, Hashem is opposite me תמיד tamid, always, consistently, constantly. שויתי Shivisi, He's by my side, his arm is around my shoulder, he's with me as I'm living my life, even when כי כשבא על אדם חלילה דין בבחינת לנגדי ki k'sheba al adam chalila din b'vchinas l'negdi. שויתי ה' Shivisi Hashem even when לנגדי l'negdi, even when it seems he's opposite, what's he doing? Why the resistance? Why the obstacles? Why is he against me? Why am I back at a doctor's office? Why am I getting waiting for a lab? Why do I again not know how to put food on my table? Why am I again lonely or waiting for a spouse, a mate? Why לנגדי l'negdi? Even when it feels Hashem and the world are against me, שויתי ה' Shivisi Hashem, השתוות hishtavus. I don't get bent out of shape. I don't get fazed or frazzled. It's all an equanimity. It's all from Hashem. I'm going to navigate and I'm going to figure out this ride. And then he goes on and he says the following. I'm skipping a little bit because I want to bring it back to the פרשה parsha. מהותה של מידת ההשוואה מתפרשת לנו מחייה של שרה אמנו עליה השלום Mahusa shel midas ha'hishtavus mispareshes lanu m'chayeha shel Sarah Imeinu aleha hashalom. Where do we learn before the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov, before דוד המלך Dovid Hamelech gave us this פסוק pasuk, שויתי ה' Shivisi Hashem? Before the שולחן ערוך Shulchan Aruch codified it as the way we have to begin our day and at every moment of the day. Where do we learn this from? The paradigm of it, שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu is our matriarch Sarah. דיני הדבר מפורש הוא הנאמר בה ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה d'hinei hadavar m'forash hu hane'emar bah vayehiyu chayei Sarah meah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim shnei chayei Sarah, Rashi says, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. Rashi told us that all the years of her life were equal in being good. ויש להבין כוונתו של רש\"י V'yesh l'havin kavanaso shel Rashi. במה היו ימיה שווין לטובה Bameh hayu yameha shavin l'tova? איזה טובה היתה לו בימי חייה Eizeh tova haisa lo bimei chayeha? Where was the good in her life? הלא בבוננות קלה בדברי ימיה של שרה אמנו Halo b'vonenos kala b'divrei yameha shel Sarah Imeinu, a simple review of the years of her life, היו רצופים נסיונות ללא הפוגה hayu retzufim nisyonos l'lo hafuga. Her whole life was filled with tests, tribulations, trials. When she was 15, she married Avram, who was 25. And immediately afterwards, her husband, her new husband was thrown in the fiery furnace. Nimrod tried to murder him, and it took a miracle for him to survive. Then they're given a command. I know you just unpacked. I know you just put away all your new silver and your crystal and your bread maker and your blender and your, I don't know, whatever else people get at their shower. I know you just got married. I know you just unpacked, but guess what? לך לך Lech Lecha. Pack up, we're heading out. Where? I don't know, you'll find out. Newlyweds, pack up, head out where you'll find out. So now they go and what happens? They make it to their promised land, a famine. So now this newlywed couple, now Sarah has no idea where she's going to eat. But don't worry, because what does her husband say? Get in the box, pretend you're my sister. Did it work? No. Nonetheless, Pharaoh, the head of Egypt, takes her, and it takes a miracle for her to be spared, #metoo, for her to be spared being violated. It takes a miracle. They returned to Israel, but now she's suffering infertility, not for a few months or years, for decades. She's waiting, she's longing, she's desperate to have a child, to have a child. Then her husband goes off, deciding he has to rescue his nephew, enters a world war of four kings and five kings, irrationally. She has no idea if he'll come home. He does come home, but she has this nephew who remains a thorn in her side. Her husband takes a co-wife, she has a stepchild, he, finally she her whole life is filled with trials, tribulations, challenges. I don't want to spend the entire parsha year describing, she has to expel her stepson from the house in order to in an attempt to protect her own, her own son. And then how does it all end? What was her cause of death on her death certificate? She was scared to death. How? Why? Because someone came to report, your husband took that son, the one you waited for, the one you longed for, your only son, top of a mountain, raised the knife to fulfill God's command to slaughter him. And before she got to the punch line, don't worry, he's okay, she had a heart attack and she died. And now we're at her funeral, and we're reflecting on her life. And now we get up, can you imagine the rabbi gets up and says, what a life, it was amazing, all of it. כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. Her entire life from beginning to end was good, pleasant, pleasurable, happy, easy. I'm sorry. Rabbi, you're at the wrong funeral. You're speaking about the wrong person. You obviously didn't spend time meeting with the family. You have no idea what's going on. You have no idea what's going on. That's her life. We could go on and on. אלא יש לפרש הדבר בדברי מרן החיד\"א Ela yesh l'faresh hadavar b'divrei Maran haChida. Rabbi David quotes the רבי יוסף דוד אזולאי Rabbi Yosef Dovid Azulai in his פני דוד על חיי שרה Pnei Dovid al Chayei Sarah, who says, what does it mean ויהיו חיי שרה vayehiyu chayei Sarah? תיבת ויהיו נקראת ישר והפוך Teivas Vayehiyu nikreis yashar v'hafoch. לרמוז L'ramoz, you could read it ויהיו Vayehiyu, ו-י-ה-י-ו Vav, Yud, Hey, Yud, Vav is what's called a, you could read it in both directions. It reads the same, frontwards and backwards, palindrome. ויהיו Vayehiyu, you read it the same forwards and backwards. Why says the חִידָ\"א Chida? Our פרשה parsha is introduced with the word ויהיו vayehiyu. Not יהיו yehiyu, ויהיו vayehiyu because there's a vav at the end, vav at the beginning. ו-י-ה-י-ו Vav, Yud, Hey, Yud, Vav, palindrome, back and forward. Why? לרמוז L'ramoz, is a hint, שהחייה היו הויה אחת שווה לטובה shechayeha hayu havaya achas shava l'tova, כשתביט בהם מתחילתם לסופם ומסופם לתחילתם k'shetabit bahem m'tchilasam l'sofam u'm'sofam l'tchilasam. If you look front to back or back to forward, no matter how you review her life, it was all good. It was all equal. It was all the same. ויש לומר על פי דבריו גם לענייננו v'yesh lomar al pi dvarav gam l'inyaneinu, שאף אם תביט בימי חייה של שרה למפרע מסופה לתחילתה אף כאשר התנהלו חייה למפרע בהיפך מרצונה, עם כל זה היו בעיניה כולן שווין לטובה She'af im tabit bimei chayeha shel Sarah l'mafreia m'sofah l'tchilatah, af ka'asher hisnahalu chayeha l'mafreia b'hefech mirtzona, im kol zeh hayu b'eineha kulan shavin l'tova. We, as observers to her life, historians, chronicling her life, we say, what a tough life. Trials, tribulations, tests, what a difficult life. But that's not how Sarah lived her life. She lived her life that no matter what came her way, השתוות hishtavus, equanimity, it didn't faze her. She's waiting, she's longing, get in the box, come out of the box, go to Israel, down to Egypt, ישמעאל Yishmael, יצחק Yitzchak, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova, השתוות hishtavus, equanimity. When you live with faith, אמונה ובטחון דבקות emunah u'bitachon, dveikus, when you cling to Hashem, then you're able to receive and accept and interpret whatever happens in life with equanimity. It's from Hashem. There are moments of sadness and moments of happiness, moments of joy and moments of grief. We're not denying human emotion. Nevertheless, philosophically, in our overall attitude, in our approach, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova, השתוות hishtavus, השתוות hishtavus. ואין זה דבר שמה בכך אלא כמה שאדם יהיה חזק אשר יהיה, כאשר עובר כאלו ניסיונות, יכול חס ושלום לרדת ממדרגתו V'ein zeh davar shemah b'kach, ela kama she'adam yihiyeh chazak asher yihiyeh, ka'asher over k'eilu nisyonos, yachol chas v'shalom laredes m'madreigaso. ועם זו שרה אמנו לא ראתה שום רע בהנהגת הבורא V'im zo Sarah Imeinu, lo ra'asa shum ra b'hanhagas haBorei. Sarah lived her life never blamed God, never accused God, was never angry or bitter at God, was never resentful at God. She accepted, she received, she lived her life, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. And therefore the Torah comes to tell us, these are שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah. וזה מה שדרש בגדלותה של שרה בתחילת הפסוק: בת קוף כבת כף, בלא חטא, בת כף כבת זיין ליופי. לימוד נוסף יש לנו ולדרוש בגדלותה של שרה אמנו שכולן שווין לטובה V'zeh mah she'darash b'gadlusa shel Sarah b'tchilas ha'pasuk: bas kuf k'vas chaf, b'lo chet, bas chaf k'vas zayin l'yofi. Limud nosaf yesh lanu v'lidrosh b'gadlusa shel Sarah Imeinu shekulan shavin l'tova. 100 like 20, 20 like 7, but really all the years were the same. שבכל ימי חייה קיימה מה שאמרו בגמרא בשם רבי עקיבא, לעולם יהא אדם רגיל לומר כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד She'bchol yemei chayeha kiyma ma she'amru b'gemara b'shem Rabi Akiva, l'olam yehei adam ragil lomar, kol d'avid Rachmana l'tav avid. Gemara quotes in the name of Rabbi Akiva that a person should live their life and always say, all that God does is for the good. Painful things happen to good people. Bad things don't, because it's all good. It's all good. It's all the same to me and it's all good. And whatever happened in that moment, even when it's difficult to accept, to receive, sometimes, nevertheless, it's all good. It's painful. Painful things happen to good people. Bad things don't happen because if it's from God, it's all good. כל מן דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד Kol man d'avid Rachmana l'tav avid. We work and fight and struggle to live that way each and every day. Sarah lived it, forward and backwards. ויהיו Vayehiyu, palindrome. She lived it. כולן שווין לטובה Kulan shavin l'tova, השתוות hishtavus, equanimity. That's what we learn from Sarah. He goes on and he speaks more about Sarah. That's what it means, Avram came to לספוד לשרה ולבכתה lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa. He came to cry. Where did he come from? הר המוריה Har Hamoriah, she died. So why do we have the עקידה Akeida next to חיי שרה Chayei Sarah? Because מהיכן בא meheichan ba, where did he come from, Avram, to mourn, to grieve, to bury, to eulogize? He came מהיכן יאכל לפתוח ולדבר meheichan yachol lifto'ach v'ledaber? How do you begin to talk about her? Avram, his life mission was with her. The two of them set out, transformed the world, introduced or spread, made ethical monotheism viral. ועמדה בכל הניסיונות V'amda b'chol ha'nisyonos. They withstood 10 tests together. מהיכן בא Meheichan ba, לספוד לאותה צדקת lispod l'osa tzaddekes? Where did he come from? מהר המוריה MeHar Hamoriah, it means that all she received, all she experienced, everything that happened, he came to eulogize her that שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah, she's still alive. כולן שווין לטובה Shavin l'tova. When we emulate her way, when we live her life, when we walk in her footsteps, when for us too, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova, equanimity, it's all the same to me. Calm, cool, collect, I never get too phased. I don't get my highs aren't too high and my lows aren't too low. Yes, there are ups and downs, that's life. As מורי ורבי Mori V'rabi Rav Avraham Schorr says, life is ups and downs. If you go for an EKG and you have a straight line, what does it mean? You don't want a straight line in your life. If there are no ups and downs, you're no longer alive. If there are no ups and downs, you have a straight line, it means you are no longer alive. To be alive is to have ups and downs. But despite life taking us on this roller coaster of ups and downs, our highs shouldn't be too high, our lows shouldn't be too low. Like Sarah Imeinu, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova, they should all be good. פרק כ\"ג פסוק ב' Perek Kaf Gimmel, Pasuk Beis. ותמת שרה בקרית ארבע היא חברון בארץ כנען ויבא אברהם לספוד לשרה ולבכתה Vatamas Sarah b'Kiryas Arba hi Chevron b'Eretz Canaan, vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa. Avram comes in order to, in order to eulogize Sarah and to cry about her. Rashi says, נסמכה מיתת שרה לעקידת יצחק nismicha misas Sarah l'akeidas Yitzchak. We have a juxtaposition. We begin our parsha with her death right after the end of last week's parsha, the binding, the test of Yitzchak. לפי שעל ידי בשורת העקידה שנזדמן בנה לשחיטה וכמעט שלא נשחט, פרחה נשמתה ממנה ומתה Sha'al yedei b'soras ha'akeida shenizdaman bna lishchita v'kimat shelo nishchat, parcha nishmasa mimena umeisa. Why did she die? What was the cause of death? Scared to death. Every year I tell you we learn from here how to deliver news. When you have children, you know how to call your parents. Mom, Yankel is fine, but listen to this crazy thing. He was on the playground, a thing happened, the ambulance came, we went to the he's fine. You start out with fine. Now you can tell the crazy story. You don't start out with the crazy story and you don't know the end, because you see, Sarah Imeinu, the messenger came and says, Hashem told Avram, take your son, your only son, the one you love, bring him on the mountain, slaughter him, offer him like a sacrifice. And Avram did and he listened and he took three days and he went, and he put him and he lay and he lit the fire and he lifted the knife. Sarah, are you with me? Sarah, are you still there? It was too late. Even Hatzalah couldn't bring her back. It was too late. So you see from here the way to tell. צרור ביר למה המתין רש\"י עד לספוד לשרה ולבכתה לבאר סמיכת הפרשיות ויותר מתאים לבאר זאת קודם על ותמת שרה Tzaruch biur, lama himtin Rashi ad lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa l'va'er smichas haparshios, v'yoser mat'im l'va'er zos kodem al Vatamas Sarah? That doesn't make sense. Rashi should have offered his comment when? On the words of ותמת שרה Vatamas Sarah, Sarah died. Listen to what he says. Listen to what he says. Never saw this before in my life. A radical new change. I told you every year we learn the parsha and you say, Chayei Sarah, been there, done that, I read that book. I read that book already 50 times. Give me another book. No, you don't read the book. Listen to this interpretation. You didn't. You're never done. Every year we're different, the world is different, new commentaries on it, endless, infinite inspiration from it. Listen to what he says. מה שמססה בא ממה ששמעה על עקידה, פרחה נשמתה, זה גופא חלק מההספד שהספידה אברהם אבינו Ma shemisasa ba mima shesham'a al akeida, parcha nishmasa, zeh gufa chelek mehahsped shehispida Avraham Avinu. Because the cause of death, how Sarah died, was actually part of the way that Avram eulogized her. He included it in his eulogy. Why? שרה אחר ששמעה שנזדמן בנה לשחיטה, שמחה שמחה גדולה על שנבחר בנה להיות קרבן להשם Sarah achar shesham'a she'nizdaman bna lishchita, samcha simcha gedola al she'nivchar bna l'hiyos korban l'Hashem. We have the whole story wrong. We think when she heard what Avram did with her son, she was disappointed, she was angry, she was resentful, she was scared, she was worried, and she died because she thought Avram followed through. We have it all wrong, says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum. When she heard that God chose her son to be offered as a sacrifice, to be taken, to be dedicated to him, she was happy, she was gratified. Her progeny, her son, he was the one who was chosen by God to be this offering, this עולה olah. אבל כששמעה שלא נשחט Aval k'sheshem'a shelo nishchat, she did hear the ending. When she heard that it in fact didn't happen, that it didn't go through, מצערא פרחה נשמתה mitza'ara parcha nishmasa. Because of the pain it caused her, after the excitement of thinking her son was the chosen one to be offered as the עולה olah as the קרבן korban, and it didn't happen, she was disappointed. וזה בא להורות שכל רצונה להיות לה בן, רק לעשות רצון השם לגלות כבוד שמיים, ולא בגלל נגיעה אישית V'zeh ba l'horos shekol rtzona l'hiyos la ben, rak la'asos rtzon Hashem l'galos kvod Shamayim, v'lo biglal negia ishis. Her whole desire, her whole yearning, her whole drive to have a child was never about her. Some people want children because you don't want to end up in the old age home by yourself. Who's going to take care of me? Who's going to bring me my slippers and the newspaper? Who's going to take care of me and feed me and bathe me? Or when you're younger and healthy and vibrant, who's the child who's going to entertain me and shop with me and go on vacation with me? People for very selfish reasons want children for themselves, but that wasn't Sarah. Why did Sarah want a child? Why did she long and pray and wait? Why did she want a child so badly? Exclusively to dedicate him in the service of Hashem. The ultimate service of Hashem is to be entirely dedicated to Hashem to the extent of being מוסר נפש moser nefesh. So she heard her son would be such an example in perpetuity would go down in history of מסירות נפש mesirus nefesh, of being so devoted to God, he would give his life for him. And when that didn't happen, of course, she's happy her son's alive, but disappointed he didn't and wasn't the first to fulfill that role. ומעשה עקידה היא הזדמנות הכי גדולה להראות בפירסום כבוד שמיים U'ma'aseh akeida hi hizdamnus hachi gedola l'haros b'firsum kvod shamayim. It would have been the most public platform to make a קידוש השם kiddush Hashem ever. על ידי קיום מצות ואהבת את השם אלקיך בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך al yedei kiyum mitzvas v'ahavta es Hashem Elokecha b'chol l'vavcha u'v'chol nafshecha. Because she, Yitzchak could have demonstrated I'm ready to love God not only with all my heart, but with all my soul. I'm ready to give my life for him to die על קידוש השם al kiddush Hashem. וכששמעה שבסוף לא נתקיים כבוד שמיים זה בפועל U'k'shesham'a shebasof lo niskaiem kvod shamayim zeh b'foal, when she heard it wasn't actually fulfilled, caused her pain and she died as a result of that. And Avram gets up and he says, anyone who has regret or thinks it's sad that Sarah died for this reason, no, this too was part of her greatness. Her greatness was she was ready to share, to lose her Yitzchak, because Yitzchak was never about her, Yitzchak was about being an עבד השם eved Hashem, a servant of God, how he can dedicate his life for Hashem. Where else do we see in Tanach a woman who waited and longed to have a child and wanted him just for God, not for herself? We see it with Chana. ספר שמואל Sefer Shmuel. Chana goes to the משכן Mishkan in שילה Shilo. You can go to Shilo today and on the ground there's the footprint of where the Mishkan stood, and you'll always see a group of women sadly standing in the spot where Chana davened, also davening, waiting, longing. When Chana davens, the pasuk in Shmuel says, ותתפלל על השם vatispallel al Hashem. It doesn't say ותתפלל אל השם vatispallel el Hashem, she davened to God. It says she davened about God. That's peculiar. She's waiting and longing and wants a child. She's turning to God to answer that plea for the child. She's not davening about God, she's davening to God. Why does it say ותתפלל על השם vatispallel al Hashem rather than אל השם el Hashem? The commentators explain, she wasn't davening for herself. ותתפלל Vatispallel, she's davening about God. She says, God, here's the deal. You give me a son, he will be entirely devoted. I will raise him and nurture him and love him and train him and dedicate him and unleash him to serve you, which he does. Shmuel is dedicated to the Mishkan, to serve Eli, with Eli, to serve God. I'm not, I don't want a child to get me my slippers, to pay my bills, to bring me my newspaper, to take care of me when I'm old. I want a child because I believe I can set him on a path, a trajectory to serve you and make you proud. ותתפלל על השם Vatispallel al Hashem, not אל השם el Hashem. And that's the ultimate prayer we can offer for anything we want or need is, God, please give me wealth or success or material things, not for me. How can I be your שליח shliach? How can I be your ambassador or agent in this world? I need an expense account. You go to work and your boss says, I need you to go on a business trip and take care of X, Y and Z, and you say, I need an expense, I'm happy to do it. I'll be the best one at it. I will get it done, but I need an expense account. A person is unhealthy. So you say to your boss, I can't go get that done because I'm unhealthy, I'm infirm, I'm weak. Give me strength, make me healthy, sky's the limit. So when we come to God like Chana, who taught us all how to pray, anyone who thinks that Judaism is biased, they're 100% correct. Judaism has a terrible bias against men and always puts women on a pedestal and always holds them high, and we learn all the laws of prayer from Chana. Chana who couldn't be part of a minyan, but the Gemara in Brachos derives all the laws of prayer from Chana, including this, that the best posture to turn to God to ask for something is not I want it and need it for me, but I represent you, I need health, strength, an expense account, I need calm, peace around me. I'll get it done. I'll make a kiddush Hashem, Hashem, I'll get it done, my mission in this world, but to complete my mission, ותתפלל על השם vatispallel al Hashem, not אל השם el Hashem. And that is what's happening here. Sarah too wanted a Yitzchak not for herself, but for him. You hear it? An entirely new view. Never heard this before. And that's why Rashi doesn't offer this comment on the words of ותמת שרה Vatamas Sarah when she died. Where does Rashi tell us this little piece of history? The cause of death? On the eulogy, because this was part of Avram's eulogy. Medrash tells us what was actually Avram's eulogy? I give you a hint, you sing it once a week. Avram's eulogy for Sarah that he authored, we sing once a week, Friday nights. אשת חיל Eishes Chayil, the last chapter of משלי Mishlei was Avram's eulogy for Sarah. How and what and how do you unpack that? For another time. פרק כ\"ג פסוק ג' Perek Kaf Gimmel, Pasuk Gimmel. ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו Vayakom Avraham me'al pnei meiso. Avram gets up, וידבר אל בני חת vaydaber el bnei Ches, and he goes to speak to Ches and he says, שמעוני ופגעו לי בעפרון בן צחר sh'muni u'fgu li b'Efron ben Tzochar, and Efron was sitting among בני חת Bnei Ches, and Efron answers Avram, and he says whatever you want. Says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum, צרך ביאור tzaruch biur, we're starting out with a few. We'll move on. מה ענין כל אריכות הדברים שנכתב בפרשה זו עד ששקל אברהם לעפרון ארבע מאות שקל Ma inyan kol arichus hadvarim shenichtav b'parsha zu ad she'shakal Avraham l'Efron arba meos shekel? What do I need the whole negotiations? In one pasuk you could have said, Sarah died, Avram bought her a plot. Boom, done. I need to know the negotiation, the terms, the lawyers, the red line document, which comments made it into the final vert. What do I need the whole details of the negotiation for? וכי לא היה מספיק אם היה כותב ואומר שאברהם קנה את המערה מאת Vechi lo haya maspik im haya kosev v'omer she'Avraham kana es hamara me'es just tell me. He bought the land from Ephron, we have a right to it, was 400 שקל כסף shekel kesef, done. What do I need? He went to speak to בני חת Bnei Cheis, they said who are you, גר ותושב אנוכי ger vetoshav anochi, introduce me to your leader. The leader says I'll give it to you as a gift, I don't want it as a gift, I'll pay. They negotiate a price. Leave it all out. What do I need it for?ויש לומר, שאברהם אבינו השקיע את כל כוחותיו בכדי ללמד את העולם, שיש בעל הבירה V'yeish lomar, she'Avraham Avinu hishkia es kol kochosav b'chdei lelamed es ha'olam, she'yesh baal habirah. Avram's entire life is all about teaching the world, there is a creator. There's an an infinite, omnipotent one. There's a goal, there's a purpose, there's a mission for life. ואברהם אבינו עשה שהקדוש ברוך הוא יהיה מפורסם לא רק אלוקי השמים, גם אלוקי הארץ V'Avraham Avinu asa she'Hakadosh Baruch Hu yihiyeh mefursam lo rak Elokei hashamayim, gam Elokei ha'aretz. Avram's whole mission was to teach the world that God is not only the God of the heavens, but he's the God of earth. He's not only ephemeral, he's not only distant, he's not only in the heavens, but המשפיע ודן עד ראש כל שמים ובארץ Hamashpia v'dan ad rosh kol shamayim uva'aretz. God is down here. ויעשה שיאמינו בו כל באי עולם V'yaaseh she'ya'aminu bo kol ba'ei olam. ובזה היה נקרא אברהם העברי U'v'zeh haya nikra Avraham ha'Ivri. הוא היה מעבר אחד שבא לפרסם את האמת hoya me'ever echad she'ba le'farsem es ha'emes ולקח מכל אנשי עולם את טעותם הגדולה שהטעו בעבודה זרה velakach mikol anshei olam es ta'usam hagdola she'ta'u ba'avodah zara. Whole rest of the world, bowing down to idols. Whole rest of the world, a group of pagan idolaters. Avram is עברי Ivri. He's on the other side of the whole world. Teaching the world, stop bowing down to sticks and stones, idols, stop bowing to the sun and the moon, there's a God. He's invisible. He's greater. He's beyond our comprehension. And we are here to serve him, that is the purpose of the world. ובוודאי כשגייר את האנשים לימד אותם את החשיבות של אדם שנברא בצלם אלוקים U'vada'i keshe'giyer es ha'anashim limed osam es ha'chashivus shel adam she'nivra b'tzelem Elokim. And when he when he helped, influenced, and attract all those converts, certainly he taught them that human beings were created in the image of God. וממילא האדם לאחר מיתתו הוא לא רק סתם גוף, הוא כבהמה, שמתה, שאינה שווה כלום U'mimela ha'adam l'achar misaso hu lo rak stam guf, hu k'behema, she'meisa, she'eina shava klum. And that means that when the soul is extracted from the body at the end of life, the lifeless body is not just some empty vessel to be discarded, disposed of. אדרבה, הוא מתעלה ונשמתו נצחית לעולם הבא וליהנות מזיו השכינה Adaraba, hu mis'aleh v'nishmaso nitzchis l'olam haba v'lehanos miziv ha'Shechina. The soul is eternal, the soul is immortal, the soul will live and carry on forever, and we honor the body that housed that soul. The soul that came down here temporarily, and the body was the vehicle, the instrument through which the soul expressed choice, free will in this world. The soul, the soul ascends on high, returns to its creator, to God, but we honor with love and affection the body that was the vessel that housed the soul during those years. A lot more to talk about this, we have in the past. חברא קדישא Chevra Kadisha, טהרה tahara, the Jewish way in death and dying and mourning is all because of that premise. We honor the body. The חברא קדישא chevra kadisha, we wash from head to toe, comb the hair, we clear the ears, clean under the fingernails. We remove any any bandages, any tubes, any catheters. We dress that body in the בגדי קודש, התכריכין bigdei kodesh, ha'tachrichin. Why are we giving such attention and affection, such love and care and concern to a body? It's lifeless. It's going into the ground. It's going to become momentarily worm food and disintegrate. If the soul is immortal immortal and eternal, honor the soul. The answer is because that body, first of all, the soul hovers above the body till the body's in the ground. And the soul is continuing to identify with the body. After all, hopefully 70, 80, 100 plus years, every time that soul looked in the mirror, it said, \"that's me.\" Every mani-pedi, every time you went shopping for clothing, every time you ate or eliminated, every time you had a good shluff and you woke up well rested, each time you cared for that body, every workout, every plunge, every time you cared for the body, you thought that body is me. And now the soul is extracted from the body looking at that body and it says, \"whoa, wait. For a hundred years of my taking care of that body thinking it was me, I exist independent, separate from it. That's not me?\" That's painful for the soul as the soul transitions to the next world, until the body's in the ground, the soul's still struggling. When we honor and love that body, we're doing so, we're comforting the soul. מובן היטב למה כינס אברהם את כל בני חת בשער עירם. שהיה זה לפרסם פטירת שרה אמנו, ועד כמה גדולה האבידה ועד כמה גדול וחשוב עניין הקבורה Muvan heitev lama kinnes Avraham es kol Bnei Cheis b'shaar iram. She'haya zeh lefarsem ptiras Sarah Imeinu, v'ad kama gedolah ha'aveida v'ad kama gadol v'chashuv inyan ha'kevura. Avram was using this as a teachable moment. So he gathered the whole community, the whole city, and he wanted them to hear the conversation, see the negotiation, and understand the detail to which he was willing to give his attention because death and dying is not about disposing of a body, it's about honor and dignity and love and affection. כסף מלא, עובר לסוחר. הכל בפרהסיה לעיני כל, להראות שיש חשיבות לאדם גם לאחר מיתה Kesef maleh, over lasocher. Hakol b'farhesia le'einei kol, lehar'os she'yesh chashivus l'adam gam l'achar misa. This was Avram the עברי Ivri, אב המון גוים Av Hamon Goyim, our founding father, and he's going to right now create the precedent and he's going to set the stage for our entire attitude to death and dying, and he wanted as many people to see as possible. So they, if you don't care about the body, what do you do with it at the end of life? You cremate, you burn it, you incinerate it, you destroy it, you obliterate it, you discard it. We who care about the body, we love it, we cherish it. We treat it with tremendous affection, love, care, dignity. And we gently place it in the ground to return to its creator. And Avram wanted to create that contrast. You pagans who don't believe really in this world or the afterworld, you pagans who think all there is is the here and now, there is no immortality of the soul. You pagans who think that the body is just the vehicle to get the most pleasure in this world, and once it's done, cremate it, dispose of it, get rid of it. No, no, no. My Sarah, she is with me forever. Her soul lives on in perpetuity. She is eternal and immortal. And this body, this beautiful body, this beautiful Sarah, through which I knew her, the world knew her, that housed that soul, love and dignity. I'm going to spend exorbitantly, a lot of money, I want to buy that land, and I'm going to be able to give her a death with dignity. How does he introduce himself to to בני חת Bnei Cheis? גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם Ger v'toshav anochi imachem. I am both a resident and a stranger. We've shared countless times, Rav Soloveitchik, this is the mission statement of every Jew in exile, but every Jew everywhere. I am both a resident and a stranger. I'm a resident. I'm a proud patriot. I'm a citizen. I pay my taxes and I get to vote, and I could run for office. I participate and I benefit from society. I'm a resident. I'm a citizen. But simultaneously, as much as I have in common with you, I have nothing to do with you. I'm entirely different. גר Ger, I'm a stranger. Your culture, your pop culture, your conversation, your wardrobe, your music, your entertainment, it's all foreign to me. It's unfamiliar to me. The Jew has to live גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם ger v'toshav anochi imachem. I am a resident and a stranger simultaneously, at the same time. I live with you, I'm among you, I'm a citizen of you, but I'm also a stranger. And the challenge is to know when and when. With which things am I a resident? Where do I contribute? How do I participate? Where am I a citizen? And with which things do I say, no, no, no. I have to withdraw and isolate, and I am a stranger to you. Rav Shmuel Berenbaum has a different interpretation. Rashi says here on these words, גר ותושב ger v'toshav, he says, you know, אם תרצו הריני גר im tirtzu hareini ger, if you want, I'm a stranger. And if not, I'm a resident. I'm a resident means I have a right to the land. God promised me, לך ולזרעך אתן את הארץ הזאת lecha u'l'zaracha eten es ha'aretz hazos. I'm giving you this land. So really it's my land. I could take it from you. You want to go to court? I'll sue you. I'm going to win. I have the deed, it's from God himself, almighty, I'll win. But I'd rather start out and I'm willing to buy it. I'd rather start out as a גר ger, as a stranger, I'm willing to purchase it. You see from here, says says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum, לכתחילה lechatchila always try the peaceful way. Always negotiate, always be willing to pay, always be willing to compromise, always make the effort to arrive at a peaceful conclusion. If you have to go to a דין תורה din Torah, you have to go to court, you have to sue, you have rights, you're entitled to fight for your rights, but that's בדיעבד b'dieved. Really, ideally, a person should always try to work it out. We saw earlier with Avram and Lot, אל נא תהי מריבה ביני ובינך, כי אנשים אחים אנחנו Al na tehi merivah beini u'veinecha, ki anashim achim anachnu. Let there not be a dispute or conflict. Let there not be a fight between me and you. Why? אנשים אחים אנחנו Anashim achim anachnu, we're brothers. We are brothers. לא מצא הקדוש ברוך הוא כלי מחזיק ברכה לישראל אלא השלום Lo matza Hakadosh Baruch Hu kli machzik bracha l'Yisrael ela hashalom. God has not found a better vessel to be a source of blessing to us other than peace. When we have peace and harmony among us, God showers us with blessing. When we have conflict, and when we have divisiveness, when we fight מחלוקת machlokes, we have no peace. So Avram says, let's do this peacefully. Let's negotiate, I'm happy to pay, I'm happy to overpay. If you insist, we'll go to court. I'm gonna win, but I'd rather first try with peace, and this is also part of our legacy as progeny of Avram, particularly within our family. אנשים אחים אנחנו Anashim achim anachnu. When it comes to family, in business and elsewhere, first we start out and we try peacefully, and only if we need to can we go for a דין תורה din Torah, a בית דין beis din, do we go to a rabbinical court? Okay. So Avram buys the land and he negotiates and he buries Sarah. And then the Torah tells us, פרק כ\"ד perek kaf daled, chapter 24. ואברהם זקן בא בימים V'Avraham zaken ba bayamim, Avram was old, well on in years, והשם ברך את אברהם בכל v'Hashem berach es Avraham bakol. And God blessed Avram with everything. What is בכל bakol? בכל Bakol could mean a son. Rashi tells us בכל bakol is gematria בן ben, a son. Others say he had a daughter. We already know about ישמעאל and יצחק Yishmael and Yitzchak, but בכל bakol means now Avram had a daughter. בכל Bakol also means that he had a philosophy, a life view. Avram lived with בכל bakol. בכל Bakol, I have everything, because whatever I have is what Hashem feels I need, so by definition, I have everything. If your happiness is decided, determined by what you have, you can always be happy because you have everything that Hashem feels you need. But if your happiness is relying on something that you don't yet have, if I had that spouse, if I had those children, if I had that car, if I had that house, if I had that vacation, if I had that paycheck, I'd be happy, you'll never be happy because there's always more you could have. Avram had an attitude, a world view of בכל bakol. He took that ברכה of בכל bracha of bakol. והשם ברך את אברהם בכל V'Hashem berach es Avraham bakol. And what did he do with it? He bequeathed it to יצחק Yitzchak. The pasuk says ויתן את כל אשר לו ליצחק v'yiten es kol asher lo l'Yitzchak. He gave the כל kol to יצחק Yitzchak. And what did יצחק Yitzchak do with his כל kol? He gave it to Yaakov. The pasuk tells he gave the כל kol to Yaakov, and we invoke this every time we bench, every time we eat bread. What do we say? בכל, מכל, כל, כן תהיה לנו Bakol, mikol, kol, kein tihiyeh lanu. We want a little bit of the כל kol. We want some of the כל kol. We want כל kol too. We want כל kol too. So God blessed Avram בכל bakol. He gave him he gave him everything. ויאמר אברהם אל עבדו Vayomer Avraham el avdo, and Avram says to his servant, זקן ביתו zkan beiso, his servant is described as the elder of his house, המושל בכל אשר לו hamoshel b'chol asher lo, who rules over everything he has. שים נא ידך תחת ירכי Sim na yadecha tachat yerechi, give me your hand, I want you to promise, put it on a religious article, a religious object, and I want you to make me a promise. I'm about to send you on a mission and I want you to make me a promise. Why is אליעזר Eliezer introduced as מושל בכל אשר לו moshel b'chol asher lo? האם אכן אליעזר שלט ממש בכל מה שהיה לאברהם Ha'im achain Eliezer shalat mamash b'chol ma she'haya l'Avraham? Did Eliezer truly rule over, was he in charge of everything that Avram had? Wonders Rav Druk in his לבבות אש Lehavos Eish. Answers Rav Druk, we have two types of people in this world, those who own their things and those whose things own them. Some people own their things, and other people things own them. When you have things and you use them, you utilize them, they're functional for you, but they never define you, and they never distort your priorities, and you're never envious and jealous over them, then you own things. But a person who must have, a person who needs, a person who loses their identity without that brand, without that object, without that real estate, without that possession, then they don't own their things, their things own them. And that's what the Torah wants to communicate to us, that Eliezer earned Avram's trust because Eliezer understood that we own things, things don't own us. He's מושל בכל אשר לו moshel b'chol asher lo. He rules over everything that Avram has. The מגיד יוסף Maggid Yosef, Rav Yosef Sorotzkin, יש לתמוה, מדוע מעריך כאן אברהם את כל תאריו של אליעזר? מה עניינם לכאן Yesh litmo'ah, madua ma'arich kan Avraham es kol to'arav shel Eliezer? Ma inyanam l'chan? Why is Avram here invoking all of the descriptions of Eliezer? ונראה שהתורה באה ללמדנו, שאף שאברהם נתן לאליעזר שליטה מוחלטת בכל רכושו הרב והמרובים V'nireh she'haTorah ba'ah lelamdeinu, she'af she'Avraham nasan l'Eliezer shlitah muchletes b'chol rechusho ha'rav v'hamerubim, Eliezer has all the passwords, Avram's bank account, the passwords, social security numbers, the keys, the safe, Eliezer's got it all. עד כדי כך Ad k'dei kach, so much so is the level of trust Avram has in Eliezer, here it is, passwords, credit cards, safe combination, he has it all. And even though when it comes to his possessions, Avram has an endless trust in Eliezer, when it came to his son, עדיין נשבע בעניין השידוך לבנו adayin nishba b'inyan ha'shidduch l'vno. When it came to his son, his well-being, his future, his mate, you gotta swear to me. When it came to the spiritual needs of his son, the material trustworthiness of Eliezer didn't matter. מכאן תוכחה מגולה לאותם המשקיעים כל זמנם ומרצם בעסקיהם בטענה, אינם יכולים לסמוך על אחרים במקומם Mikan tochacha megulah l'osam hamashki'im kol zmanam u'mirtzam b'iskeihem b'ta'anah, einam yecholim lismoch al acherim b'mekomam. Some people in their business, you say, what are you so preoccupied? You constantly reviewing your accounts, your net worth, your portfolio, your investments. What are you so busy with? Give it to someone else, live life. And what does that person often say? I can't trust anyone else with it. I have to be on top of it, I have to be in charge of it, I can't trust anyone else with it. Your children you send to school for 10 hours a day. The children you leave home with the housekeeper to raise. But your business dealings you can't trust anyone else with? You see from here that Avram was the opposite. Avram was the opposite. Passwords, safe combination, credit card numbers, take it all, I trust you. Oh, a for my son? Come here, I need you to swear. I need you to promise. I need you to promise. It's been sarcastically said that too many, too many in the Jewish world, when it comes to their jewelry and their cash, they lock it up because the housekeeper might take it. So they have a safe, the jewelry, the cash, the critical documents, they get locked up under under key, under safe, under combination. The housekeeper might take it. But the children, you're in charge, you watch them, we'll be out of town, we'll be away, we're on vacation, we're at the spa. We have it backwards. Avram says, when it comes to the cash and the credit cards and the documents, here's the password, I trust you. My children, you gotta swear. My children, we have it upside down, we have it backwards on the attitude that we should on the attitude that we should have. תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel also has a comment here on this pasuk, and he says the following. כאשר אברהם אבינו היה מפורסם בעולם במעשי חסד Ka'asher Avraham Avinu haya mefursam ba'olam b'ma'asei chesed. Avram was incredibly well-known for his love and kindness. בנו יצחק היה B'no Yitzchak haya, and his son Yitzchak was, listen to this because they for sure spoke Yiddish, Avram and Yitzchak, דער בעסטער בחור אין דער וועלט der bester bochur in der velt. Says the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel, הבחור הכי טוב בעולם habochur hachi tov ba'olam. Yitzchak for sure was the best bocher. He was the top. He was the top. Every שדכן shadchan, the top of their list, not only because his father was wealthy, Avram, but יצחק Yitzchak, the best of bocher. He was the best, even by Peedy, he was the best. Yitzchak was the best. היה צדיק יסוד עולם שנעקד על גבי המזבח, וודאי במדות מרוממות Haya tzaddik yesod olam she'ne'ekad al gabei hamizbeach, v'vadai b'midos meromemos. יצחק, גבורה Yitzchak, gevurah. Yitzchak was willing to die on the altar. Yitzchak was as if he lived his life like he was offered to God. Avram was known, אב המון גוים Av Hamon Goyim. Avram is the biggest influencer. He's got millions of people following him online. He's got wealth, fortune, fame. So what's Avram working so hard? He has to recruit Eliezer, he has to make him swear, he has to send him on a mission, they have to undergo a test. What's he working hard? He's got the easiest שדך shidduch ever. His son is Yitzchak. All you have to announce is, he's in שדכנים shidduchim. He's on the market. That's it. Now sit back and now the phone, the door is going to get knocked in, the phone's going to ring off the hook, you're good to go. He's the best bocher. ויש לומר, מביא המדרש, אלא הרבה קטגורין עומדים כאן ועדיין, proper in שדכנים, אינו תלוי בחסן וקלה לבד, שיש גם הורים ואחים ואחיות וגם סתם אנשים שמכירים, וכל אחד מהם לחוד יכול לעכב את השידוך מכל מיני טעמים שונים V'yeish lomar, mevi hamedrash, ela harbeh kategorin omdim kan v'adayin, proper in shidduchim. Eino talui b'choson v'kalah levad, she'yesh gam horim v'achim v'achayos v'gam stam anashim she'makirim, v'chol echad mehem l'chud yachol l'akeiv es ha'shidduch mikol minei ta'amim shonim. He says you see from here, you can have the best, the best young man in the world, the best young lady in the world, and if they were the only variables in this equation, we'd be good to go. Problem is, there's a lot of other variables. You got parents, you got siblings, you got cousins, you got community members, you got personalities, you got people, you got שדכנים shadchanim, you got dating coaches, you got, you got a million and one variables and factors. If people would get out of the way, if we wouldn't introduce new problems, if we wouldn't make it so complicated with FBI investigation, interrogation, if we wouldn't complicate it, and it just was the merit of the young man and young lady, we'd be golden. But their parents, aunts and uncles, neighbors, friends, שדכנים shadchanim, and we make it complicated, and therefore, now we got to דאַוונען daven hard. Now, you have to undergo enormous effort. בגלל העיכובים שיכולים להיווצר Biglal ha'ikuvim she'yecholim l'hivaser because of the impediments and obstacles, the man-made, artificial, unnecessary, I'm editorializing a little bit here. I don't have strong feelings at all on this subject. Because of the man-made problems, obstacles that we place, now you need superhuman initiative to overcome them, whereas if we just would eliminate the obstacles, you wouldn't need the superhuman initiative of reference calls and reference checks and resumes, in our time as well. We should simplify and not complicate. Avram has to undergo enormous initiative because of how complicated these issues are, and so complicated in fact, he makes a comment later, that Eliezer, Eliezer has to do something else. Later פרק כ\"ד פסוק ט\"ו perek kaf daled, pasuk tet vav, skipping ahead for a moment on top of the next page, 112, it tells us, ויהי הוא טרם כלה לדבר והנה רבקה יוצאת vayehi hu terem kilah l'daber v'hinei Rivka yotzes. Eliezer says, I'm coming with my camels. My my boss and this young man, their hallmark, חסד chesed. They are incredible in being selfless and giving and loving kindness. I need a girl just like that. How will I know? The one who offers not only me something to drink, but cares about my camels too. He is just finishing speaking and Rivka comes out, אשר יולדה לבסואל בן מילכה אשת נחור אחי אברהם וכדה על שכמה asher yuldah li'Vsuel ben Milkah eshes Nachor achi Avraham v'chada al shichma. She's coming out with the jug on her shoulder. She's going to offer him and the camels to drink. The מלבי\"ם Malbim, the מלבי\"ם Malbim comments on this pasuk says, no coincidences, it's not chance, there's no randomness. Right when Eliezer is busy done having this conversation with God, making this condition, this deal, punkt, right then, who comes out? Rivka. Why was Rivka there? Why did Rivka emerge? Her father is a wealthy man, he's got a whole staff. She's not really the shepherdess, she's not really responsible to draw the water. והנה V'hinei teaches us something new. She was there really not for an explainable reason, it was השגחה hashgacha divine intervention, right when Eliezer finished, she showed up. It's a שדך shidduch that's made in, made in heaven. Even though Eliezer is armed, he's got it all to find a good shidduch. He's got the resume, the pedigree, the יחוס yichus. He's got the jewelry, the gifts, the money, he's got it all. He's got it all. The best bocher. אם לא היה עושה הקדוש ברוך הוא נס זה שלא היה כדרך הטבע, והנה רבקה יוצאת Im lo haya oseh Hakadosh Baruch Hu nes zeh shelo haya k'derech ha'teva, v'hinei Rivka yotzes, נמצא עם כל ההשתדלות שעשה, היה ראוי לעשות, בלא תפילה היה אליעזר חוזר לאברהם אבינו ריקם Nimtza im kol ha'hishtadlus she'asah, haya ra'ui la'asos, b'lo tefillah haya Eliezer chozer l'Avraham Avinu reikam. It was a miracle that she happened to be there in that moment. She happened to come out. She's never normally there, she's not a shepherdess, she doesn't need to be, her father is wealthy, he has a whole staff. Hashem intervened, God choreographed this entire scene to unfold that she would be there in the right moment at the right time, and you see that with all the initiative we take, often extreme, too much initiative in this area, ultimately, you need him. And therefore, we have to daven. That's why the pasuk, quotes the pasuk to Tehillim, לזאת יתפלל כל חסיד אליך לעת מצוא L'zos yispalel kol chosid eilecha l'eis metzo. אמר רבי חנינא לעת מצוא זו אשה, שנאמר מצא אשה מצא טוב Amar Rabbi Chanina l'eis metzo zu isha, shene'emar matza isha matza tov. מציאת זיווג תלוי בכח התפילה Metzias zivug talui b'koach ha'tefillah. שדכנים Shidduchim for ourselves, for our children, for our grandchildren, if we want them to find a mate, a spouse, their by shared. Yes, you got to maybe even hire a שדכן shadchan. You got to go to meet the שדכנית shadchante night. Check our weekly, we have another of our amazing local volunteer שדכנים shadchanim are doing another meet the שדכנית shadchante night to continue to advocate and meet local singles and help, sign up for it. I don't remember when it is, this maybe, it's coming up, check it out. You got to take initiative, meet the שדכנים shadchanim, maybe even have one on retainer, maybe even have to engage in that part of it, take initiative, be out there, network, make a resume. With all that, without תפילה tefillah, without davening to Hashem, Eliezer would have gone home. He never would have met Rivka. Rivka wasn't supposed to be there if not for God orchestrating her in that moment. She shouldn't have been there. With everything else we do, we have to daven to Hashem. What does Eliezer say? He sees her. פסוק כ\"ג Pasuk kaf gimmel, she gives him to drink, she gives the camels to drink, and now that they're all the thirst is quenched, ויאמר, בת מי את vayomer, bas mi at? Whose daughter are you? הגידי נא לי, היש בית אביך מקום לנו ללון Hagidi na li, hayesh beis avich makom lanu lalun? Whose daughter are you? And tell me by the way, you think your father has an extra room, a guest room, a guest suite, a place that we can we can sleep, a place that we can step over, stay over? The מגיד יוסף Maggid Yosef, Rav Yosef Sorotzkin, says on this pasuk, so a seeming non sequitur, what's the connection between the two things? Eliezer asks two questions, what's your יחוס yichus? Who are your parents? Who's your father? And by the way, you know of an inn, a hotel, you have a room? Can we stay over? Do חסד chesed? And she answers, ותאמר לו בת בצואל Vatomer lo bas Besuel, the daughter of Besuel. So who's daughter are you? How long should that take to get the answer to that? Google it. Put her name in, Rivka Bas Besuel, Google. You'll know everything you need to know. Two seconds. You can check it all. You can get her father's bank account, check her genealogy, you could see whether they were honored at the school dinner ever. You could find it all. Where she went to camp, where she went to seminary. The second part, do you do חסד chesed, do we host people, hospitality, do you care, do you take care of others? That second test is longer. At night, come over after we're done with the water, with the well, it takes a full day, takes a full night. You offer a meal, do you offer hospitality? Eliezer is in a hurry to fulfill his mission. The easy, logical way is to first check the easy sign, what is the family and the yichus, and only when he arrives to the family of Nachor, then he would test for the chesed. It's strange that Eliezer went in the opposite direction. First he tests for the חסד chesed. First he wanted to see will she give me and the camels to drink, and only when she meets that test does he say, בת מי את bas mi at? Who's your father? What's your name? What's your יחוס yichus? It was out of order. First do the thing that takes no time at all, Google, and now if it's שייך shayach because you did the Google, now investigate, now you can see whether she does חסד chesed. He gets it backwards. So what do you see from here? What do you see from here? He says, my father, Rav Yitzchak Sorotzkin quotes his father, the true test of chesed can only happen over several days with total anonymity. If Eliezer had proceeded in the logical order, first would have been a connection between them and therefore when he asks for a favor, she would do it out of compulsion to protect her good name. wanted to test for chesed with anonymity. He wanted first to see her character, who she was with anonymity, without knowing, and only then, so she wouldn't be doing it in order to protect or preserve her family name, to keep up her יחוס yichus, she'd be doing it because it's right, because it's her instinct, because it's the right thing to do. And that was his test, that was his test. I see from here, a little bit of a different message, which is, do we first go through reference checks, יחוס yichus, third degree interrogation, and then we'll go on a date and see, do they say please and thank you to the waiter, do they have manners and דרך ארץ derech eretz, their character. Eliezer did it the opposite. See a person, who they are and what they are. You want to then check on a little יחוס yichus, so then make sure, then confirm, then check on a little bit of a יחוס yichus. That's the order. We don't do interrogations. We don't start out, I'm sure this is a good reason not to, let me just confirm that by calling anyone they ever met, getting DNA samples. Let me first confirm that by getting their report cards and tax statements of the parents, and once I confirm that we can move on. No, the opposite. Let them meet each other, let them see each other, let them have a draw, an attraction to each other, let them see the חסד chesed, the character, and then, בת מי את bas mi at? By the way, let me make a phone call, let me just check, there's no axe murderer, they're not really an axe murderer. That's the order that that he goes in. Okay. בת מי את Bas mi at. בת מי את Bas mi at. The two things Rav Druk says really go together. You would have thought it's a non sequitur. בת מי את Bas mi at, and יש מקום לנו ללון yesh makom lanu lalun, do you have a place for us to stay? What he was asking was, I'll learn everything about your parents when you answer my question, do your parents offer hospitality? בת מי את Bas mi at, do you have a place for me to sleep? We're not two separate questions, they were זה בזה zeh b'zeh, it was really one and the same. Who are your parents? Do they ever have guests? Do they ever have guests will answer who are your parents? I'll know about them. I'll know about them. A lot of people wait, and then it's too late. to their children are in שדכנים shidduchim. There are people, believe it or not, have come to me who said, where can I volunteer? What can I do? I said, it's beautiful, it's amazing, I'm inspired. Where did this sudden burst of inspiration come from? My kid's starting שדכנים shidduchim. I know you're going to get called. Are they involved? Do they volunteer? Do they give? Do they do anything? I said, buddy, you're, you're, you're a little bit late. You're a bit late on this one. You know? You can't wake up when your child is beginning and now want to form your brand. Who your brand is, is who you are your whole life. Because guess what? Someone in a WhatsApp group somewhere is going to mention your name with the people you went to camp with. You went to school, ישיבה yeshiva or seminary with. Who you are and who your brand is your whole life is how your children, unfortunately or fortunately, will be judged. So you can't wake up when they're ready to enter the circuit and decide, let me now start to give a lot of צדקה tzedaka, volunteer for a lot of things, let me undergo a major brand upgrade. Something to think about. What we do is who we are. How we live is who we are, is our brand, is our name, is how we're known. בת מי את Bas mi at? If I ask around about your parents, do we have מקום ללון makom lalun? You have a place, do they open their house? Do they host? Do they hang up the phone when the שול shul calls and says, could someone eat? Could you put somebody up for the weekend? Do they hang up the phone? Or are you the go-to call? בת מי את Bas mi at? Who are your parents? Don't wait till it's too late till those calls are being made to work on having an answer to it. You gotta start much earlier. Oh, man. I don't understand how it happens. I don't understand. I'm not happy. Okay, one last one. פרק כה פסוק ט Perek kaf-hey pasuk tes. Let's get to the end of the פרשה parsha, and then I'll pretend that we learned the whole פרשה parsha. פרק כה פסוק ט Perek kaf-hey pasuk tes, the very end. Sadly, we lost שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu at the beginning of the פרשה parsha, and we lose אברהם Avraham at the end. Can you believe we're up to פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah already? I don't understand how this happened. נח Noach came and went. אברהם Avraham, שרה Sarah came and went. That's it, this פרשה parsha. We just said hello, we're already saying goodbye. פרק כה פסוק יא Perek kaf-hey pasuk yud-alef, chapter, page 122 rather.We're ending with this. ויהי אחרי מות אברהם ויברך אלקים את יצחק בנו Vayehi acharei mos Avraham vayivarech Elokim es Yitzchak b'no. When אברהם Avraham died, God blessed יצחק Yitzchak his son. וישב יצחק עם באר לחי ראי Vayeshev Yitzchak im Be'er Lachai Ro'i. And יצחק Yitzchak settled near באר לחי ראי Be'er Lachai Ro'i. Says רש\"י Rashi, what does it mean? אברהם Avraham died, God blessed יצחק Yitzchak? ניחמו תנחומי אבלים Nichamo tanchumei aveilim. God paid a שבעה shiva call. God offered ניחום אבלים nichum aveilim, He comforted him. Where do you see in the פסוק pasuk that God comforted him? ויברך אלקים את יצחק Vayivarech Elokim es Yitzchak. He blessed him. Where is the comfort? Says רב דרוק Rav Druk, נראה לבאר nireh l'va'er. כי מצות ניחום אבלים מתקיימת גם על ידי כיבודם של קרובי הנפטר. היינו יקר דחיי, כבוד החיים Ki mitzvas nichum aveilim miskayemes gam al yedei kibudam shel krovei haniftar. Heinu yakra d'chayei, kavod hachayim. עצם זה שנגלה הקדוש ברוך הוא ליצחק בדי לברכו אחרי מות אברהם, אין לך נחומים וכיבוד גדול מזו Etzem zeh shenigla Hakadosh Baruch Hu l'Yitzchak b'dei l'var'cho acharei mos Avraham, ein lecha nichumim v'kavod gadol mizu. ולכן ברכה זו נחשבת כניחום אבלים V'lachen bracha zo nechsheves k'nichum aveilim. You see, he sawed here, that that God enabled יצחק Yitzchak to continue the legacy of אברהם Avraham is the most comforting thing in the world. When we can continue the legacy of those who came before us, when we can follow in their footsteps, when they live through us, when we are blessed to have the opportunity to continue their life purpose, their life mission, that's the ultimate ניחום nichum. So even though the פסוק pasuk just says אברהם Avraham died, God blessed יצחק Yitzchak, he blessed יצחק Yitzchak with the capacity to continue the legacy of אברהם Avraham, and that is the most comforting thing there is. When we want to comfort a mourner in our lives, the greatest comfort we could offer them is our commitment to continue the legacy of the one they lost. That's the ultimate expression of comfort you see from the end of the פרשה parsha. We'll pick up with a מצוה mitzva next time. Should be בשורות טובות besoros tovos, a day that we hear good news. Please stay. We'll divide ספר תהלים Sefer Tehillim. We divide it, we can complete the entire ספר תהלים Sefer Tehillim quickly. Should hear בשורות טובות besoros tovos, ישועות yeshuos, ונחמות v'nechamos.
