Transcript
Okay, good morning boker tov, boker tov, welcome back to 10 minute... not 10 minutes, welcome back to Living with Emunah. Baruch Hashem, we teach so much such a fast pace I don't even know where I am or who I am. Our Emunah series is generously sponsored by Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella’s mother Dr. Ellen Schanzer. We remain incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their tremendous, tremendous generosity and thank you very much for that. You could always sponsor an Emunah shiur, sponsor any of the shiurim, we’re grateful and we welcome everybody’s partnership and help. As always, we will begin with some Emunah emails and stories and then we’ll dive back into our text and help us get ready in this month of Elul and as we are counting towards Rosh Hashanah. So I want to start with this story. Baruch Hashem, we’ve been traveling a lot for simchas, we should always all travel only for simchas, happy occasions. So last week Yocheved and I were flying back and something fascinating happened. The plane landed, an unremarkable landing. It wasn't like we almost crashed or landed on the Hudson River or anything like that. It was unremarkable landing. We landed and all of a sudden we heard a woman screaming. And turned out about five rows behind us there was a woman and we were listening a little attentively, what was she calling out taking over the whole airplane? And she's screaming, 'Dear Lord, thank you so much for endowing our pilot with the skills to land the plane. And dear Lord, thank you and we accept you.' And then she mentioned some other people, characters that are not part of our... and we accept and we... so-and-so to the so-and-so and so-and-so. She was sitting right next to a rabbi I happen to know, sitting there with his black hat and his jacket on and I’m watching her and she, no shame, no hesitation, is screaming, talking directly to the Lord, the whole airplane and I’m wondering, is someone going to yell at her, 'be quiet' or 'let’s get off the plane' or 'mind your business' or...? She finished her spontaneous Birchas HaGomel out loud and the whole plane yelled Amen. And I thought to myself, wow, that was another one of those unbelievable moments where again, I’m not encouraging you to try that at home or on your next flight, I’m not saying it will be received as well if we do it, but I just I love people who are unapologetic and unashamed and not hesitant to publicly show that they love God and God’s in their life and they’re grateful to God. And I thought, when we take off and again been flying a lot thank God for good things should continue to be for good things. So when exactly do you say Tefillas Haderech? Should you say it in the morning if you know you're leaving that day? Should you say it when you're going down the runway when the nose of the plane lifts off, only when you're in the air? Big discussion in halacha, in Jewish law, when do you say the traveler's prayer, when do you say the Tefillas Haderech, when do you know when is it that you should say it? Big discussion. But we say Tefillas Haderech, we print it on little cards and on keychains and everyone finds a way to give out a little Tefillas Haderech, a little Tefillas Haderech. But what about when you land? When you land you're scrambling for your place in the aisle and let me get my thing and how do I get off and the Uber and how far will I have to walk and what will be my luggage? This woman landed and she said, 'I don't take for granted.' She let out a prayer like Sullenberger, whatever the guy’s name, like we just landed on the Hudson River. She let out a prayer, you would have thought that the wheels didn't come down and we just skidded across the runway and the emergency vehicles were there to greet us. It was the most ordinary landing you’ve ever had. They didn't even have Blue Chips on the plane and she let out such a gomel, such a gratitude and it really it startled me. And it made me think as as passionate and enthusiastic as our Tefillas Haderech should be and usually it's directly proportional to your fear of flying. People who have no fear of flying mumble a Tefillas Haderech, barely pause what they’re watching to say it. The people who took three tranquilizers and needed to prepare for weeks before they got on the plane, that Tefillas Haderech is like Ne’ilah on Yom Kippur. But we mumble our Tefillas Haderech, do we also when we land, just it's those moments, those micromoments, Hashem we landed, thank you, shkoyach, thank you, no turbulence, no bump, no... thank you, thank you, we don't take for granted. Thank you for the unremarkable things in life. Thank you. I don't know if you saw going around yesterday. Yesterday was another unprecedented day for the Jewish people, a miraculous day, a day that we should be eternally grateful, unbelievably grateful, unbelievably grateful to Hashem. It's a miracle. We will come to learn, we may never ever fully come to learn, probably as great, greater than the Six Day War, that Israel somehow and I spoke to somebody in Israel this morning who told me how long this has been in the works, much longer than you can even imagine, the notion of pulling something like this off that you'd intercept the inventory, the distribution, before it's dispersed, whatever was done to manipulate a device and then to simultaneously blow it all up without any failures, without taking any... ...civilian casualties, also revealing the network, like you can only imagine who blew up, whose family was like, what, you're in Hezbollah, didn't even know, and revealed the entire network. It's a miracle! A miracle! The divine providence from Hashem that was necessary to pull it off, the courage of the people, the leaders who gave the green light. I want to be clear, we should be grateful and we should at least privately celebrate. We should sing and dance and say L'chaim and say Tehillim and say thank you Hashem. I personally have some hesitation. I am not sure whether we should publicly celebrate. I don't know if we go to town center and hand out candies and I don't know if we go on social media and the the equivalent, the online equivalent of town center and publicly celebrate. Privately, certainly we should be grateful and celebratory and be have even greater conviction to eliminate enemies with no greater hesitation. The world is only better without them. It's unbelievable. So I saw somebody from Israel wrote, it was another unprecedented day. Boy, how we long for some precedented days, right? It's lovely to have unprecedented. It'd be nice to have some precedented, right? So it's nice to have ordinary. Not everything needs to be extraordinary. So when the plane lands, that's ordinary. That's what the pilot's supposed to do. That's what the plane is supposed to do. When you drove from point A to point B, and again, I'm not saying sponsor Kiddush every time carpool made it okay. I'm not saying that you know you can't live that life that every time you got where you were driving, you sponsor a Kiddush. I'm not suggesting that. I'm not suggesting we wouldn't accept that, but I'm not suggesting I'm not suggesting you have to do that. What I am saying is that momentary, brief, millisecond pause that says thank you. You pull into the driveway, the brakes work, the tires work, thank you. It's not a given. Chavi came out for carpool last week one day to find her tire was flat. Flat, she-be-flat, she-flat, flat, no air as a tire could be. Thank God it was in our driveway, it wasn't while driving, nobody was injured. What's the big deal? We have incredible Chaverim in our community. They come, they're so excited, and the keychain and the walkie-talkie and they plug the tire and they fill the tire, they change the tire, the spare tire. Unbelievable Chesed. It's unbelievable. It's no big deal. But what about every time you came out in the morning and the tire wasn't flat? Do we notice? Every near miss. What about every time that you made the green light? What about every time that the plane... so I was inspired by this anonymous lady five rows behind, whoever you are, probably listening to Living with Emunah. Unlikely this African American incredible woman was listening to Living with Emunah, but if she is, thank you, because it inspired me. Those little moments, just thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The food went in and came out okay. That we say a Bracha Asher Yatzar. Thank you, the plane landed. Thank you, the car brakes worked and the tires stayed full. Thank you. Thank you for all of these things. We shouldn't take for granted. None of them are a given. We're not entitled. Thank you. What's Modeh Ani? We wake up in the morning. Thank you. Turns out I tried to get out of bed and my legs work. Wow! Thank you. That's not a given. There are people who don't wake up in the morning. There are people who wake up and they feel a pain and their whole life and day is different. There are people who had a test and they got back a result and it changed and it changed everything. It's a big deal. Someone I know and love recently had a major surgery on her knee. She should have Refuah Shleimah, speedy, complete, and a painless recovery. She's learning to walk again because had a major surgery and a part of her knee was taken and had to be replaced from a part of her stomach. It's a big deal. And learning the good leg, the bad leg, and she's now competing with her granddaughters about who's going to walk first, who's going to walk quicker. And Im Yirtzeh Hashem she'll be okay. But every time you wake up and your legs work and you got out of bed and you didn't fall on your face, thank you Hashem. That's Birchas HaShachar. I'm not saying anything new. We actually have a whole platform for all these things. We just forget them and we take them for granted and they're each amazing. So thank you to woman on the plane, five rows behind, JetBlue, we were in row 15 about. So thank you whoever you are, wherever you are. You taught us to say thank you. Okay, a few more. Rabbi Goldberg, Baruch Hashem we're celebrating our daughter's Bat Mitzvah this Sunday. I've been reflecting on this milestone for a long time now. 13 years ago, I was pregnant with our first child and unexpectedly went into labor at 24 weeks and delivered a stillborn. My husband and we were blessed to be able to get pregnant a few months later and I began having complications at the 23-week mark, was kept in the hospital on bed rest for seven weeks. That was a quite a brief overview, doesn't detail the pain and heartbreak, but also the opportunity to turn to Hashem. I know you and your wife had your own loss, which I'm sure you can relate, the overwhelming gratitude and recognition of Hashem granting you a child after that loss. I will never forget the humility I had holding our daughter when she was first born and every day since then I marvel at how blessed we are to have her and our four other healthy children, Kein Ayin Hara, which is also true after a stillborn. It never gets old. It never gets old. Walk into that room, I I stopped several years ago, but for the first many years of my son's life I would go in every night while he was... sleeping and just look and take a picture. I can't believe he's here. Wow. And my daughters and my son and my everybody and it got a little creepy but it's like wow. I can't believe I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you have healthy children I can't believe you're here. You are a miracle one I won't take for granted. That's unbelievable. Unfortunately in life all too often only when we don't have something or we lost something or we feel close to losing something do we wake up to appreciate. We shouldn't have to wait until that happens. I've been trying the email continues I've been trying to think of a d'var Torah to incorporate into my speech for this daughter that was born after that stillbirth to bat mitzvah this Sunday. We really never marked her arrival with a seudat hodaya so we wanted to take pause at her bat mitzvah to do so. I basically had the majority fleshed out, discussing her namesake, where she came from, the journey, the avoda to bring her into this world. As I try to every week I turned on your parsha perspective today and lo and behold, your first 15 minutes tie everything into a beautiful bow for me. I love the idea of bikkurim being not only reflective of the process and background how this fruit came to be but also finding ways to be grateful even in the moment of uncertainty. I will say that when we lost our child 13 years ago, things were very bleak and I never had imagined what was around the corner for us, but my husband and I tried to work on finding silver linings in that challenge when we lost our first and even during the subsequent pregnancy when there were things were still uncertain. We learned that the beauty lies in the gray and unknown. That's when you have to daven and turn to Hashem and thank him. Our loss was on Yud Bet Elul and her arrival was Yud Gimmel Tishrei. Hashem really wanted us close during that time frame and as you always say in the emunah shiur the more you let God in the more you see him so clearly and we are able to be thankful. This d'var Torah is the perfect kiss from Hashem and reinforces my feeling of gratitude and kirvas Hashem. Thank you for being his shliach. So this email was just from yesterday cause the parsha shiur was yesterday, she was looking for the d'var Torah to finish her speech for Sunday for this daughter and something that Hashem helped me think about to say was perfect for her and so she felt it was a wink from Hashem. We have these winks and these nods and these hugs from Hashem all the time, all the time and we're grateful for those moments that he's giving us and they are so special. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, since October 7th I have patiently awaited the drop of a new Living with Emunah episode each week. A good friend from my former shul in New York introduced you and your class. I was in Israel learning over the last year and a half. I was at a low point looking for much inspiration and hints of Hashem following the start of the war. I'm sorry I'm reading so quickly, I get feedback I read too quickly. If you're listening online you can slow it down, go to half speed. If you're in person you can't. It's just there's so much to say. Life is so short, there's so much to say. I'm sorry, anyway, I could have read slower if I didn't just interrupt myself to explain to you how I'm reading so fast. Okay. Your Living with Emunah series has taught me so much yada yada yada blah blah blah. Whenever I'm in a bind to know that as a Jew I am never stuck, I'm exactly where Hashem put me to ask my future children where they saw Hashem in their day, their fear is normal I just need to channel it through Hashem and so so much more. I can't thank you enough. One thing that has always struck me is the hashgacha pratis moments, from the pizza story you shared or from your family chat or in the emails of listeners we can see Hashem in every aspect of our daily lives. We just need to open our eyes. I used to just document my hashgacha pratis moments on my notes page on my phone. I took the story and words of encouragement to share our own Hashem moments as a sign to start my own hashgacha pratis group chat with friends. What started out a few weeks ago with around 15 friends has now spread to over 70 young women from Israel, Mexico, America, Canada, South Africa and more join in on sharing the moments when we see Hashem's hand so clearly in our lives with messages filling the chat daily. Personally I'm waiting to hear back from several job applications. Having the chat has given me the nechama that Hashem is the hiring manager and knows my address. Bezrat Hashem the chat should continue to grow and inspire each neshama that joins. Thank you for the emunah and klal Yisrael and yada yada. What a beautiful thing. Now I feel a little creepy because I didn't realize it was for women and I asked can you add me to the chat but so don't add me to the chat. I didn't read carefully, I didn't realize it was just for women. Don't add me to the chat. We're good. I didn't read it so carefully. Don't add me to the chat, we're good. But it's amazing and everyone has to have their own chat and everyone here should be added, the women to the chat because it's a beautiful thing. Hello, it's been nine months, we'll do maybe one more and then we'll get back to our text. It's been nine months since I was let go from my job, super destabilizing for me, my wife and my child. I saw a job that I was perfect for and worked to get an interview. I've been trying to finish Tehillim every month and for Elul I upped the ante and just finished for the second time this month. Today I started the day at Kappitel 90 and finished 150, three minutes before the call. During the call I was told I was ineligible due to an internal rule about returning employees. I built so much emunah equity into this role, that's where you believe that Hashem is answering your tfillos and your yeshua is here. But Hashem has different plans. While I'm deflated, tired and burnt out, I know I just need to get some rest, recharge, have a coffee, go for a walk and start Ashrei Haish, Kappitel Aleph, here we go again from the start. So again these emails are very powerful to me because here's somebody, not "and it worked out and I said Tehillim and I upped the ante and now I do it twice a month and I got the job and it was perfect and so good I was fired because this job is so much better," it's "and I didn't get the job." but I don't know what's next but I'm going back to Tehillim starting from the beginning again and I know that Hashem has a plan for me, and those are the most powerful, those are the most powerful, the ones that don't have the positive and happy ending at the end of the story, and the people nevertheless, nevertheless stay true. Oh, there's so many good emails. One more? Yep. Okay. Okay, here's one more. Hi, you don't know me and I'm actually not a major follower of yours either. Love those, those keep me humble, those are good. Though, I do look every now and then. My daughter heard you speak when she was a camper at such camp and spoke nicely about, okay, shkoyach daughter. I recently read your piece about the astronauts that got stranded. So happens it caught my attention because my husband's an avid space exploration enthusiast, but the message itself hit home so much for me. I'm going through a very hard time in a very private way. I've read and reread and printed and read the article. I keep reminding myself I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Maybe in a perfect world we can have someone in our personal lives that gives us chizuk in just the way we need it, but somehow in a perfect way you're giving me the chizuk, we don't even know each other. I'm appreciative, may the Torah you share continue to, again, people in hard times leaning into emunah and finding the strength to navigate whatever they're going through because a Jew's never stuck. Astronauts in space or the women of Chabad in Detroit or wherever we are, we're not stuck. We are where we're meant to be and we are where we're meant to go and that is the way it is. Okay, last one. Hope all's well with you and your family. As usual, I listened to the emunah shiur yesterday and as you read the first emunah email, I felt Hashem's wink. A couple weeks ago or was it last week? We read an email, I think it was last week. A heart transplant surgeon who's been harvesting hearts from soldiers, Rachmana litzlan, four more killed yesterday. Their family should have strength and comfort. And the heart surgeon described how they read about, before they transplant the heart into a patient whose life will be saved, they read about the soldier who gave their heart. And his email was he has complete emunah in Hashem, he just doesn't understand why Hashem seems to be taking the best, the best, and robbing us of what they could have done and who they could have been and the difference they could have made. That in itself is its own, I got an email about that and had a back and forth discussion. Are we robbed of who people could be or did Hashem never had plans for those people to be able to do more because that was always Hashem's plan to only live to that point? It's an interesting conversation, a discussion, not for now. But back to this email. So I read that email about the amazing cardiac surgeon who's a very, very special person. What hashgacha pratis! My four-year-old granddaughter had a heart transplant last week. It's been a difficult ongoing journey, but this email reminded me that Hashem is here, holding my hand every step of the way. Baruch Hashem she's improving every day, we continue to daven she has a complete refuah sheleimah. She's been in the hospital since Shavuos and she's had many bumps in the road and many hugs as well. I needed a little pick me up yesterday and turning on the shiur to hear the first email about a heart transplant was the exact pick me up I needed. It was a reminder that Hashem is the ultimate rofeh, he's holding her hand every step of the way. We continue to daven, im yirtzeh Hashem Hashem will grant a refuah sheleimah to our precious הניה טויבא הינדא בת יפה פריידל. She should have a complete refuah sheleimah. We would appreciate if everyone could daven for her as well. Thank you for the shiurim, yada yada yada. Life should be filled, may our tefillos be answered. Kesiva v'chasima tova. By an early listener and contributor to our global campaign, his family contributed many times in our first global campaigns and you should get sushi, Shlosh Seudos sushi from them. So it should be a complete refuah sheleimah, we should hear only good things about that. There are more emails, we'll have to come back to them because you come for a shiur and we have to learn Torah as well. But incredibly powerful. The people, not whose life are hunky dory and ends well. It's nice to say thank you when the plane landed and you didn't crash into the river. It's even more incredible to have emunah when you're going through a hard time and you don't know how your story ends. Health and work and children and much more. Okay, we're learning B'yam Darkecha, the holy Rav Itche Meir Morgenstern, Rav Yitzchak Meir, and he's been telling us that teshuvah is not about, it is also about the particulars. Where did I go wrong? What mistake did I make? How do I own up? How do I express remorse and regret for the past? How do I accept to improve in the future? But to only engage in the particulars and the details and to lose the forest for the trees for what it's supposed to be about is to miss out on what teshuvah is. Teshuvah, repentance, the root of the word teshuvah is lashuv, which is to return. And what are we returning to? We are returning to a life with Hashem, לשוב לחיות חיי נשמות. We could live as physical material beings, we could be bodies or we could be souls. And it's hard to remember we're a soul. Why? Because we wake up in the morning and this aches and this hurts and this is hungry and this needs to be taken care of and we remember we're a body. Our body is screaming out from pamper the body, indulge the body. Indulge the body, take care of the body, nurture the body, work out the body, feed the body. The body is reminding us every moment of the day and night. The body is constantly reminding us you're a body. The soul, not so much. Somebody who's not sensitive and tuned in, somebody who's not picking up the signal of the soul, sometimes it's easy to forget you are a soul. So we think I'm a body. And you say to somebody, how is your day? What do you have on tap today? Oh today? Got to pack the lunches, got to drive carpool, I got to go shopping, I got to cook, I've got to go to work, I've got to return some phone calls, I've got to work out, I've got, I've got, I've got. Okay, all of that was your body. All those things revolve around I've got to shop, I've got to cook, I've got to plan, I've got to prepare, I've got to drive carpool, I've got to work out, I've got to go to work, I've got to earn my money, I've got to go to the bank, I've got to stop at the dry cleaner, I've got to stop, I've got to return the thing, I've got to buy. All of that was our body. How often do we say to someone, what do you have on tap today for your soul? Now, it could be that working out is for your soul and eating is for your soul and sleeping is for your soul and coffee with a friend is for your soul. What's incredible about Judaism, what we try to endorse and empower and inspire for ourselves and others all along, our whole theme and brand of life is that it's all integrated. All those things, the workout and the eating and the going to work and going to the dry cleaner can also be for your soul depending how you do it. Depending how you do it. What do you imbue it? What's your thoughtful, what's your intent, what's your mindfulness while we're doing it? It all doesn't only have to be for the body, each of those very same things, eating can be for the body, eating can be for the soul. Sleeping can be for the body, sleeping can be for the soul. Going to the dry cleaner can be for the body for fashion and for clothing and for... going to the dry cleaner can be for the soul. How could it be for the soul going to the dry cleaner? It could be for the soul because the person whose dry cleaning you're picking up feels appreciated and grateful you remembered you thought they didn't have to be asked and you've improved your relationship. It could be for the soul because you picked up the Shabbos clothing which enhances Shabbos and you're so excited each time you come home from the dry cleaner with the plastic, you know, matter what it costs, but I have Shabbos clothing, pure, pristine, beautiful, we're honoring the Shabbos, I'm home with the dry cleaning for Shabbos clothing. It could be anything that we do can be positive or negative, can be holy or mundane, profane. It's all the intent, the mindfulness we bring to it. But it's so easy to slip, it's so easy to slip back into that place of I'm a body. Nancy, I'm fine. Bracha, I'm fine. Don't worry. It's so easy to fall back to the place of I'm a body, I'm a body. No, I'm a soul. I'm not a body that has a soul, I'm a soul that has a body. Says Rav Itche Meyer, you know what Elul's about? You know what all this is about? And we're running out of time, it's slipping away, the clock is ticking, we're halfway through Elul, it's already Erev Rosh Hashanah. As the person who has to speak on Rosh Hashanah, trust me, it's already Erev Rosh Hashanah. It's already Erev, we're running out of time. But you know what Elul's all about? I'm working on reminding myself I am a soul and I have a body. I'm not a body that has a soul, I'm a soul that has a body. Thank you so much. I am a soul that has a body. How can I go Lashuv l'chayei neshamot? I want to live a life of souls. I want a soul existence. I want a spiritual existence. I want a measure and experience and a perspective and a personality that everything is spiritual and has a soul. I'm filled with gratitude and I'm filled with love and I'm filled with energy and I'm filled with spirit and I'm filled with spirituality. And it's not living down here. I'm not living down here. Car, my house, my clothing, my food, my meal, my... No, I'm living up here. I still have those things, I can still enjoy those things, but I'm living in another existence. And that says Rav Itche Meyer, that says Rav Itche Meyer is what Teshuvah is all about. It's what Elul is absolutely all about. It's about living in that place, it's about living in that way. It's recognizing eternity. It's living in the here and now as immortal eternal beings, as immortal eternal eternal beings. Remembered one more I wanted to read to you, which wasn't a letter to me. It's the letter, it's the letter that Rachel Goldberg, Rachel Polin Goldberg wrote to the world after getting up from Shivah. Talk about a soul that lives in a spiritual soulful place who's able to see and have that perspective to the world. It's worth reading this whole letter and bli neder I'll post it in our group, join the WhatsApp group to stay on time when our shiurim are and extra material, but I'll just, just to take out a, just to take out a paragraph or two. She writes to the world and to Hashem. She writes, I feel tremendous relief he's not in that hellhole literally anymore. I'm so relieved we gave his battered and abused body a proper majestic and halachic burial. I'm so relieved that his beautiful neshamah is finally free. I will now have to learn to be in this world without him, but having him all the years I did is worth the pain I will have, worth every tear and sigh and lump in my throat and every pang of pain until until it's time to be buried. She writes thank you, you unbelievably generous, kind, tender, caring, thoughtful, benevolent, brilliant and loving people. Thank you endlessly and always for holding us however you did during the dark chapter. Keep davening we all survive and thrive again somehow, some way, someday, because we will. May his light inspire us, may his memory be a blessing. And she writes on and on and thanks Hashem for the year she did have Hersh and thanks all people and sees him as a neshama not a body and longs for the day she'll be reunited with him and understands that his neshama is now flying free. She's a Rebbe. We're learning Rav Itcha Meir, you could learn Rav Rachel Polin Goldberg. She's, they're people, there are hotspots of emuna. They are extraordinary role models, heroes who you never heard of on October 6th. On October 6th, unless you lived near her, unless you came from where she was from, Virginia, unless you knew them, you didn't know them. But as of October 7th and 8th and since, is just a teacher to all of us, an inspiration, an inspiration to all of us. Wow, what a letter. The whole thing is worth reading. So says Rav Itcha Meir, get back to that place. Grab on and latch on and use as a hotspot people like her and others and realize that you're a soul, not a body. And you could look and live in this place called bodies, or you could look and live in this place called souls. And Elul is I want to elevate. I'm ready to kick it up a notch. I'm ready to elevate. I want to live in a life and in a world of souls. And I want to see that we didn't just land. Thank you Hashem for letting the pilot help us land. That's how you live in a place called souls. And I'm going through a hard time, but I'm leaning on you, Hashem, because I know, I know that when you're in charge and you're in control and you're the shepherd and you have a plan and everything is for a reason, I have to take my initiative, can't make excuses, I can't cop out, I have to do my part. But once I do I let go and I let you, Hashem, because you have a plan. That's called living in a place called souls. And when it comes to our priorities and when it comes to what we get anxious over, get angry over, what we're upset about, I prioritize and I calibrate my life through that prism, putting on those glasses, that I'm a soul, not a body. I understand that. So that's teshuvah. teshuvah is lashuv l'chayei neshamot. I want to go back to a life and to a place called souls. ברוך אתה ה' אלוהינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. Amen. Thank you. So we're on page lamed, I think. I think. Tell me if I'm wrong. ממילא מובן שהשמחה בתשובה היא עניין עיקרי ומוכרח. If you don't remember, if I'm wrong, then it's okay that we start here anyway. ממילא מובן שהשמחה בתשובה היא עניין עיקרי ומוכרח. What comes out says Rav Itcha Meir is, we mistakenly think that Elul's a time that you walk around like this: Oh, I'm so nervous and lightning's going to strike and Hashem's going to pay me for all the things I did wrong and I'm in such trouble and I'm so nervous and I'm so anxious and I'm so worried and I'm so miserable. That's not Elul. Elul is a huge smile and positive energy and I'm so b'simcha. Hashem is amazing. Isn't Hashem amazing and life is amazing and I'm going back to living as a soul so I feel awake and alive and Hashem is amazing. ואין שמחה יותר גדולה מבן שהתרחק ועתה שב אל בית אביו. Is there a greater joy and happiness than a son who was distanced, alienated, ostracized, rejected, and now comes home to his father's house, u'miskabel b'zro'os pesuchos, and his father's there with open arms and says come, come my child, let me hold you, let me hug you, I'm so happy you're back, I'm so happy you're home, I've missed you, I love you. And they are on fire now, this father son. A couple who are estranged who've had a fight, when they reunite, when they feel close, when they feel connected, they are alive, there's a skip in their step, they have a renewed sense of life and of love. And all year long maybe we've become distanced and alienated, maybe we forgot Hashem, maybe we think mistakenly Hashem forgot us, we feel far from him, and Elul comes, we're awake and we're alive and it feels amazing. So if a person is really, if you're engaged in teshuvah and the process of teshuvah, you're not walking around sad and miserable and farbissener and anxious and worried, you're walking around with a smile and alive and awake and happy and joyous and excited because Hashem is standing there with his open arms and he's saying my son, you may have disappointed me, you made choices and decisions that don't align with what I want or hoped for you, but you're my son and come here and come home and I want to hug you and I want to hold you and I love you and we're going to figure this out and I want to restore and I want to rebuild and I want to reconnect and we're in this together. And the son says that is the greatest possible relief on the planet to know my father, who's smarter and wealthier and more connected, is here to help me and he welcomed me with open arms and no matter what mistakes I've made he wants to help navigate that next step. There's no source of greater joy in the world. Awakening and there's no it's amazing it's amazing. So says Rav Shmaya somewhat boldly and I'm paraphrasing he doesn't say this exactly: if you see somebody walking around in Elul anxious and nervous and afraid and worried then it's not teshuva that they're engaging in because real teshuva lashuv to return to be a life of souls and spirits is to actually bring happiness and joy and simcha. It's simcha. אם אמנם שצריך לבקש סליחה מאביו וגם להתנהג נכון מכאן ולהבא אבל ברור שההרגשה שלו תהיה שמחה עצומה. It's true the son who's welcomed back into the father's arms still has to say Dad, I'm sorry I crashed the car. I'm sorry I destroyed the yacht. I'm sorry I squandered your money at the casino. I'm sorry I spoke negative and posted about you online. I'm sorry I spoke that way about you I embarrassed you. I'm sorry they have things that I'm sorry. It has to be genuine has to be sincere has to be real. I'm sorry. The son still has to pay the piper the son still has to be held accountable. There are consequences. We're not suggesting it's Kumbaya, come home, we're gonna sing and hug and happy and let bygones be bygones. No, that's not real that doesn't last. You have to make amends you have to come home and reconcile you have to come home and work. But the simcha the underlying simcha of I'm home and I'm welcome and and there's a future and this repair. I saw, I may repeat this, but I saw on Rosh Hashanah night we say Simana Milsa. It's a very interesting discussion because generally speaking we reject superstition silly superstition. We left that in Egypt, God took us out of Egypt because he made us a people who believe only in him not silly superstitions not silly superstitions. And yet we come to the Rosh Hashanah table and what do we do? Let's dip the apple in the honey why? We'll have a sweet year. Ah, you murdered you raped you stole you pillaged you're a terrible person you're unethical you're immoral you speak gossip and slander but don't worry because you dip the apple in the honey so it's going to be a sweet year. That's a religion that we believe in? I thought we don't believe in that. But you know what let's really hedge our bets so we're not just going to dip the apple in the honey we're also going to have fenugreek and gourds and dates and we're also going to have a sheep's head and a fish head and an eyeball and we're going to our table's going to be filled with props and we're going to have a Rosh Hashanah seder and Yocheved does a magnificent job in our home with this and cabbage we're going to have it's a whole carrots pomegranates it's a whole spread it's a gantze spread it's harder than the Pesach seder set up, maybe not, set up the Rosh Hashanah seder it's a whole spread. Who's going to have the courage to eat the fish eyeball who's going to eat the sheep's head it's a whole spread. And why do we do all that because what do we say Simana Milsa. The Gemara Rosh Hashanah says Simana signs and symbols Milsa they're meaningful they have weight. How do they have weight? So that's a whole discussion for another time. We don't believe in silly superstitions. None of those things actually work in a superstitious way they don't work because we did them. What they do is they trigger in us they are reminders and symbols and signs for us to be our best selves. So we use them as props to remind us they're symbols and signs and props to remind us to be our best selves with the hope that that yehi ratzon that that prayer will come true with it. We want to be the head not the tail and we want to defeat by the way 80 90 percent of those have to do with defeating our enemies crush our enemies destroy our enemies which tells you everything about Jewish history that we are so consumed by in every generation including ours never last year Simana Milsa. Nobody last year looked at the cell phone that was plugged in and said May you make pagers explode yehi ratzon Hashem that 4,000 pagers should explode and maim and injure and kill and make blind thousands of terrorists to the north of Israel. Nobody thought that siman Simana nobody has a pager so nobody thought that siman but you didn't even look at your cell phone and think that siman Hashem is amazing and he works in amazing ways ways you'd never dream could never happen Simana Milsa. So we believe Simana Milsa not all year round. The red bendel around your wrist is silly and superstitious and in fact the Tosefta calls it darchei ha'Emori. It is a an idolatrous practice. You know who it's a segula for? The old woman at the Kotel who you gave money to because she convinced you it would help you in life. That's who it's a segula for her parnassa not yours. It does nothing for you untie it cut it off the red bendel has no basis there's only referenced once through all of our Torah literature and that is to reject it and call it an idolatrous practice we don't believe in the red string around your wrist the red bendel it's only a segula for the person who's selling it to you not for you whatsoever. We don't believe in it. So all year long we don't believe in these silly superstitions but Rosh Hashanah night ooh the gourd and the cabbage and the and the fenugreek we don't even know what that is and the and the carrot all these props why because they remind us and they are symbols for us about what matters. So I saw a beautiful source I forgot who it was maybe the Sfas Emes I forgot who it was who said don't forget at your Rosh Hashanah table the biggest siman. If Simana... A smile on your face. The biggest siman of simana milsa is to smile. Smile. The Rosh Hashanah meal should not be miserable and anxious and unhappy and worried and fearful and fright. The Rosh Hashanah meal should be joyous and excitement about a new year and a new opportunity and we're coronating the king and we are subjects and members of his kingdom. And what a privilege and what an honor and how wonderful simana milsa. Symbols and signs they matter they mean something and our face the simcha the smile on our face counts. Velachen אף שחלק מעיקרי התשובה היא חרטה even though it's true that one of the core one of the core ingredients of the formula of teshuvah is charata regret remorse. וודאי צריך שתהיה לאדם חרטה גמורה and a person has to be genuine and sincere in their remorse. ויגון ומרירות בנפש על מה שחטא ויתרחק a person has to be miserable and bitter and unhappy about the mistake they made and about how how short they've come up and that's how a person has to feel. You can't be happy go lucky umgefer'n with a smile with laughter, okay you want me to say I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No it has to be real. I'm broken by how I hurt you. But I am also so besimcha joyous that you are welcoming me with open arms to start again. I'm broken that I hurt you. I'm working through that I hurt you. I want to make amends that I hurt you. I'm bitter at myself for how I hurt you but I am simultaneously smiling and happy and overjoyed because because you're giving me a new opportunity. מכל מקום אין זה מהות התשובה אלא זו דרך התשובה בפועל שצריך יגון וחרטה בזמן מסוים These are the mechanism and the mechanics of teshuvah but they're not what teshuvah is about. At the core of teshuvah is wake up, is to wake up, is to wake up and to be happy. So I can't give a shiur now without referencing my ice bath, just because Yocheved asked me to. So I will tell you, it's incredible I am not proselytizing, I don't get any money, but it's incredible. I started these these ice they're amazing. You put yourself into this place of fight or flight, your body can't survive there, and your body releases these endorphins, these adrenaline, and it's absolutely incredible. When you come out of that ice bath, the next couple of hours, it's like you drank five cups of coffee. You're awake and you have clarity and you're alive and all the science and all the research you could explore it on your own shows the health benefits both physically and mentally, emotionally, boy I'm telling you you you come out, you're besimcha. First of all I conquered an inclination. Depending when you do it, the beginning of the day, I don't want to go in that. It's 49 degrees. It's freezing. I'm going to go in there? And you say I don't really care, I own you, you don't own me, I'm going in and I got it and you start the day with a win. And for three minutes you're in there, you're meditating because you're not watching or listening or doing anything else. And when you come out and now you have this release, this chemical release, you're awake, alert, alive, and happy. Besimcha. Mrs. Brody your son did it yesterday. He went to a place and did an ice bath. And you might have noticed yesterday he had a skip in his step, an energy, he was on fire, he was amazing. It's incredible. Teshuvah, teshuvah is a spiritual ice bath. A spiritual ice plunge, cold plunge. You go in and you come out and is it a hard process? Can it even be painful? Is there discomfort in it? Absolutely. But when you come out you're so besimcha, you're alive, you're awake, your truest self, and you have clarity, and there's a simcha, there's a joy, there's a joy, there's a joy. I want to build on our new campus, we're going to build ice right outside on your way into shul. You think it'll be over by then? So little faith. You know all that does is challenge me. Wow. The sauna? Whatever it is. Whatever the next thing. Okay. Challenge received and accepted. Game on. Okay. So, but that is the spiritual teshuvah is the spiritual ice plunge. Wake up, clarity, alert, it's discomfort, it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. But sometimes when you put yourself in an uncomfortable place that there's work to do, but you're going back to who you are, it makes you awake, it makes you alive, it makes you your truest sense. Like a father going home, אזי בזמן שמבקש מחילה מה שעשה בוודאי שצריך להיות בחרטה וצער גדול True that father has to make amends and there has to be a conversation and there has to be an apology and there has to be regret and there has to be a plan for it not to repeat itself going forward. כי זה מוכיח שהוא באמת מבין את טעותו because otherwise how do you know that a person really knows and appreciates and understands their mistake? והוא באמת רוצה לשוב לחיות עם אביו that he really wants to return. אבל אין זה אלא בזמן מסוים That'll come in the right time. First the parent says come here, give me a hug. Come here, I want to hold you. Come here, tell me are you okay? Yeah, later, tonight, tomorrow, we'll talk, you got to make amends, you got to apologize, we've got to work through, but for now just be here with me. Just be here with me. לחזור להשם יתברך ולהתחיל, we just want to go back to Hashem and begin to live with him again. To talk to him and to hear him talking to us. To be open to those winks and those hugs from above, which a lot of people aren't, because a lot of people feel, stop telling me Hashem loves me because it sure doesn't feel like it. So I want to refer you to listen last week, Behind the Bima was Rav Moshe Weinberger. It's worth listening not because of anything I or we said, but Rav Weinberger, oh, Rav Weinberger, we try to interview him always in Elul. And one of the things we spoke about was, because he spoke all about Elul's not about fear, Elul's not about trembling, Elul's not about God who wants to get you, Elul's all about love. It's about a father who loves you. So I asked, what would you say to somebody who feels, doesn't feel like he loves me? I've got challenges and issues in my life that it sure doesn't, he's got a strange way of showing love, sure doesn't feel like he loves me, and it's well worth listening to what he answered. I refer you to listen to Behind the Bima last week with Rav Weinberger, how does one live with love for Hashem when it doesn't feel like he loves us? That's what we're working, that's what Elul is. We're in marriage counseling with the Almighty. We're working through our differences. He's welcoming us home. Marriage counseling, family counseling, parent-child, whatever metaphor you want to employ or use, but Elul is, I'm at the table. I'm ready to go do the work. I'm ready to work it out. I want to be close. The things we gotta make amends, the things we gotta work out, when it doesn't feel like you love me, but I'm back in it. I want to work it out. We're in it for the long haul. I want to feel close and connected. I want my life to be integrated with yours. אין מתיקות ושמחה יותר, there's no greater sweetness, there's no greater joy שהנשמה שבה להתחבר עם מקור חיותה. You see that too, couples who come out of counseling. There's a therapist I refer to a lot. Some people love, some people doesn't work as well with. One person described her as, it's like going ten rounds with Mike Tyson. She holds people very accountable, it's hard work. You come out exhausted emotionally, but also on fire and excited to discover your new relationship. A good therapist can help you. It's exhausting, it's uncomfortable, it's hard work, but you come out alive and awake and excited and optimistic about the first day of the rest of your life. כך שתשובה לאמיתה היא כניסה לבית המלך. That's real teshuva. Welcome to the palace of the king. לדביקות פנימיות עם השם יתברך. Welcome into this vulnerable place. והיא רק שמחה ואור ואושר לאדם. It's just joy and light and richness for a person. כי מה יותר טוב מלהיות חבוק ודבוק באבינו שבשמים. Is there anything better than a hug from God? Happens to be that God, happens to be our Father is also the King. Is there anything better than a hug from the King who happens to be your Father? So that's what teshuva is. There's work to be done. And we'll have to be uncomfortable. And it's going to be going ten rounds of Mike Tyson with Muhammad Ali. It ain't easy. You're going to get punched and bruised and it's hard work. But you're going to come out alive and awake and true to ourselves and the first day of the rest of our lives. And there is nothing better. שיהא בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות. Keep the emails coming. Thank you to those who sent them. Please God we should hear good things today and every day. You can find Rav Weinberger, Behind the Bima on our YouTube page or any podcast player.
