Transcript
Good morning, בוקר טוב boker tov to all. With a wish and a תפילה tfila for בשורות טובות bsoros tovos, it should be a day we hear good news, please God. Our hostages should be brought home, our soldiers should have a sweeping victory and return to their families, and כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael should hear only בשורות טובות bsoros tovos. It's great to be back together again to continue to explore the פרשה parsha. I hope everyone had a beautiful, wonderful, uplifting, and meaningful פסח Pesach. Want to begin as we always do with our attitude of gratitude and thank our incredibly generous פרשה parsha series sponsors for the year, our dear friends Becky and Avi Katz and family, in memory of Becky's father. Our learning is לעילוי נשמת le'ilui nishmas David Grossman, דוד בן מנחם מנוש David ben Menachem Manush. This morning's שיעור shiur is also sponsored by Myrna Hirschorn in commemoration of the fourth יארצייט yahrtzeit of her beloved husband, Marvin. We remember him very, very well. He was an incredibly active member and an exemplary member of our community, and by Eli and Amy Buzaglo in memory of his dear mother, מסעודה בת שלמה Masuda bat Shlomo, whose נשמה neshama should have an עלייה aliyah as well.This week we have the privilege of learning and reading פרשת קדושים Parshas Kedoshim together. We are in the ArtScroll חומש Chumash, page 656. וידבר ה' אל משה לאמר Vayidaber Hashem el Moshe leimor, God spoke to Moshe saying. See, we already did the first פסוק pasuk. We're moving right along. That's the easiest פסוק pasuk. The second פסוק pasuk of the פרשה parsha, we could spend not an hour and not 10 hours or 100 hours, we could spend 100 days straight just exploring the opening פסוק pasuk of our פרשה parsha. דבר אל כל עדת בני ישראל ואמרת אלהם Daber el kol adas Bnei Yisrael v'amarta aleihem, speak to the עדת adas, the עדה eidah, the collective, the congregation, the gathering, the assembly of the Jewish people, ואמרת אלהם v'amarta aleihem, and this is what you should tell them, קדושים תהיו kedoshim tihiyu, be holy. Why? Why should you be holy? כי קדוש אני ה' אלקיכם Ki kadosh Ani Hashem Elokeichem, because I'm holy. You should be holy, I'm holy, ווייטער vaiter, let's move on. There's only one problem. What is holy? Holy's not a Jewish word. I don't want to say the ArtScroll or any of the translations are wrong, but they're wrong. It's it's not a Jewish word. Holy is really a Catholic or Christian word. What does it mean to be holy? What does it mean to be holy? We've explored this many, many times in the past, but I want to share with you new, many new interpretations today, this year. You could listen to the previous year's שיעורים shiurim. רש\"י Rashi and the רמב\"ן Ramban, פרושים תהיו prushim tihiyu, be separate, be apart, be distinct, be different, to separate and to elevate. קדושים Kedoshim, holiness. A Jew lives for holiness, a Jew does not live for happiness. We live in a world where everyone's living for happiness. And you know what they are? Unhappy and unholy. We Jews live not for happiness, but we live for holiness. And you know what happens when you live for holiness? You're both holy and you're happy. You find meaning and you find purpose, and you tap into the essence of existence and of creation. So we live for holiness, we need to define, therefore, what is holiness and what is it that we are, what is it that we are living for? So we have many interpretations. The אמרות טהורות amros tehoros, the הילולא Hilula of רב שמואל שמעלקה Rav Shmuel Shmelke, זכותו יגן עלינו zchusoi yagen aleinu, who passed away last year, he quotes from many. Begins with the מאור עיניים Meor Einayim, the Chernobl רבי Rebbe. In the מאור עיניים Meor Einayim, the Chernobl רבי Rebbe says: התורה מבשרת לנו בזה שכל איש ישראל עתיד להיות קדוש HaTorah mevateres lanu b'zeh she'kol ish Yisrael asid lihyos kadosh. The Torah here in formulating this mandate, this obligation of be holy, does so in an interesting way. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu. What is the word תהיו tihiyu? What tense is תהיו tihiyu? Past, present, or future? It's future. Now we read it, I've always read it, קדושים תהיו kedoshim tihiyu is a obligation, it is a responsibility. It's a mission statement. Be holy. Be holy in what you look at and how you speak and how you conduct your business, in your interpersonal, in how you relate to God and how you relate to yourself, in your own self-worth and self-dignity. Strive for, be disciplined and sovereign, live for holiness. It is a prescription for life, but that's not how the מאור עיניים Meor Einayim and many others, many other צדיקים tzaddikim read it. They read it that כל איש ישראל עתיד להיות קדוש kol ish Yisrael asid lihyos kadosh. Know that every איד Yid, every Jew in the future will be holy. ולא תאבד שום נפש מישראל חס ושלום V'lo te'aved shum nefesh mi'Yisrael chas v'shalom. Don't give up on any Jew. Inside every איד Yid is a spark of holiness and sanctity. Inside every Jew is a piece of the Almighty Himself. כי קדוש אני ה' אלקיכם Ki kadosh Ani Hashem Elokeichem, that's what the pasuk is telling us. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu, every one of you will be holy. I, right now, maybe somebody's living a very unholy existence and life, maybe right now they're not observing, they're not living, they're not practicing. Maybe they're caught up in, maybe they're pursuing, maybe they're distracted by, maybe they're indulging in an animal impulse and instinct, immoral and ethical behavior. How can you say with confidence, how can you declare with such clarity, קדושים תהיו kedoshim tihiyu, that every Jew has within them the ability and they will be able to express and realize and manifest their holiness? How can you say that? From where do you get that confidence? Says the מאור עיניים Meor Einayim, keep reading. כי קדוש אני ה' אלקיכם Ki kadosh Ani Hashem Elokeichem. God says, \"I'm holy.\" I'm the essence, I'm the source of all holiness. And there's a piece of me in every one of you. כל ישראל יש להם נשמה שהיא חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש Kol Yisrael yesh lahem neshama shehi chelek Eloka mimaal mamash. וממילא הוא ודאי בכלל הקדושה וודאי עתיד להיות קדוש U'memaila hu vadai b'klal ha'kedusha v'vadai asid lihyos kadosh. There is a piece of Hashem inside every one of us, and where there's that piece of Hashem inside every one of us, it means every one of us has that צלם אלקים Tzelem Elokim. We have a חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש chelek Eloka mimaal mamash. We are a unique and distinct, a singular manifestation, expression of Hashem in this world. And therefore, when we tap into that, when we realize that, when we express that, that is holiness because Hashem is holy. So every איד Yid is a big צדיק tzaddik from his קאפעלע keppele to his פיסלעך feetalach. Every Jew is a real צדיק tzaddik. Every Jew is a, every Jew has within them. And maybe right now they're not living like such a צדיק tzaddik or צדקת tzadeikes, maybe right now they're not observing or practicing or living up to that aspiration, not living up to that capability or capacity. That's okay. That's because there's a רוח שטות ruach shtus. Somehow there's a distraction, somehow they've been swayed, somehow they've been tempted, somehow there's שטות shtus. But inside, there's that possibility. A דרך derech that's quoted, the קהלות דוד Kilos Dovid says similarly, קדושים תהיו בלשון ציווי לא אמר kedoshim tihiyu b'lashon tzivui lo amar. אלא קדושים תהיו בלשון הבטחה Ela kedoshim tihiyu b'lashon haftacha. Hashem here is not giving a command. This is an entirely new reading of the opening of our parsha, different than anything I had heard before. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu is not a command. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu is a promise. It's a promise. כי זוהי באמת הבטחה שסוף כל סוף יהיו כל ישראל קדושים Ki zohi b'emes haftacha she'sof kol sof yihiyu kol Yisrael kedoshim. ולא ידח ממנו נדח V'lo yidach mimenu nidach. Don't, there's nobody who will be lost. Don't give up on any Jew. What an important message. No matter how far someone has strayed, no matter how distant they are, no matter their life or the lifestyle they're leading, no matter how confused or how they think they're not confused, and how much clarity they have about why Judaism is not for them, don't give up on any Jew. There's a צלם אלקים Tzelem Elokim, a חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש chelek Eloka mimaal mamash. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu, believe in the promise of Hashem that every איד Yid's a big צדיק tzaddik, that there's a spark of holiness in every Jew, that they are redeemable, that there is a brighter future, that our best is yet to come. כי קדוש אני ה' אלקיכם Ki kadosh Ani Hashem Elokeichem. This is not a commandment or a commandment alone, it's a הבטחה haftacha. It is a promise. It is a promise. It's fascinating conversations happening online now of a whole segment of the Jewish world. And that's not the purpose of the parsha class, I won't get into it, but a whole segment of the Jewish world whose ideologies and whose whole Jewish identity and religious expression were intertwined with movements that today are the biggest threat, most vocal and vociferous, disgusting opposition to Jewish existence. So one wakes up and looks in the mirror and says, \"So who am I and what am I? If this is what I worshiped and what I was taught and who I aligned with and who I marched with arm-in-arm, and they're now marching against me and my existence of my people, so what's left? Who am I?\" One such young lady wrote on Twitter the other day, she described herself as השקפה'ליך hashkafikli homeless, that she grew up in a certain denomination, which she now feels has, is is had malpractice against her, what it taught her and the direction it sent her in, and she's not comfortable either in orthodoxy. She's השקפה'ליך hashkafikli homeless. It breaks your heart, but there's a search, there's a yearning that's taking place. There's an awakening in the Jewish people. Much of it tragic and sad, but also filled with opportunity. What will it be filled with? And that's what the Torah's telling us. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu. Nobody's lost, no one's irredeemable. Don't give up hope, don't give up hope. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu, know that every Jew has within them the possibility and that promise of קדושה Kedusha, of holiness, of sanctity. Why? כי קדוש אני ה' אלקיכם Ki kadosh Ani Hashem Elokeichem. Because as long as they maintain the godliness in them, there is hope and there is possibility. There's hope, there's possibility. We gave a shiur we spoke on the eighth day of Pesach about whether a person is irredeemable. Can one forfeit and lose their Tzelem Elokim? ימח שמו וזכרו Yemach shmo v'zichro. Hamas and Hamas supporters and sympathizers in, on campuses and in Congress and all over the world. Can a person perpetrate such evil and support such evil in such a way that they lose their Tzelem Elokim? And I brought many, many, many sources that say yes, that a person, there is such an evil, such a line that one crosses. I'm not talking about the average person who gossiped, they said lashon hara, now they have no Tzelem Elokim. But there is such evil which a person, all they're left with is their animal soul, they're an animal, a savage animal. They use their free will to make such a choice that forfeited and lost their Tzelem Elokim. You could lose your Tzelem Elokim. Rav Soloveitchik for example describes Hitler, ימח שמו yemach shmo, the Nazis, they were taken over by a satanic, demonic, they lost their godliness, they were animals in the guise of men. And that's what these Hamas horrific, the images which we shouldn't look away from, which the world should watch and see and understand our moral responsibility to rid the world and purge the world in Rafah and everywhere Hamas are found, should see that these are animals in the guise of men. That's not to insult animals, which it is an insult to animals to compare them to animals. But it is to recognize our responsibility to not tolerate the presence or the influence or impact of people who've lost their Tzelem Elokim altogether. They made a choice, they expressed their free will in such a way to lose. But that's not עם ישראל Am Yisrael. עם ישראל Am Yisrael, קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu. Not a ציווי tzivui but a הבטחה haftacha, a promise. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu. The truth is that every Jew, wherever they are, and you're in the category of holiness, even the one who right now seems so low, so far, so abandoned, still has inside them a connection, an identity with sanctity. Because they have faith in Hashem, there is still the innate and natural faith in Hashem. There is this inner knowledge that we have that there is someone and something bigger and higher, that we don't come from nowhere, that there's someone who loves us. And as long as one is connected and intertwined with the Jewish people and the Jewish community, from this strength, they will certainly be close to Hashem, to find lights and different causes until eventually they will return to holiness completely as is appropriate. There will be something, some awakening, something will happen that will introduce, reintroduce that person to the possibility inside them, to that spark, to that seed, to that sanctity, to that yearning for that holiness, to that promise of קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu. How does it come about? דבר אל כל עדת בני ישראל Daber el kol adas Bnei Yisrael. Where is this not ציווי tzivui, הבטחה haftacha, where is this not obligation but promise, how was it communicated, where was it offered? Among כל עדת בני ישראל kol adas Bnei Yisrael. Hashem said through Moshe, \"Quick, gather, be a community, be unified, have unity. I want to give you a מצוה mitzvah.\" So the ספרים sforim say, \"When do we have confidence that every Jew, there is that spark of holiness? How will the seemingly lost be found? How will the irredeemable be redeemed? How will those who are so far come closer? When they are connected with all the community of Bnei Yisrael, united with Klal Yisrael.\" When we are עדת בני ישראל adas Bnei Yisrael, when we're unified, when we're connected, when we create community that has space and invitation for them too. When a person feels if my life or my lifestyle or my choices or my appearance or where I'm at is not tolerated or welcomed within the observant Torah community, then they'll never come back. They'll never realize that קדושים תהיו kedoshim tihiyu promise inside them. But when we are כל עדת בני ישראל kol adas Bnei Yisrael, warm and open and welcoming, principled and unapologetic for who we are and for our values and for our halachic principles and our halachic practices, unapologetic, but still sensitive and warm and welcoming באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham, where people are at, there is place for you, and we welcome you and we want you and we need you because we're incomplete without you. כי קדוש אני ה' אלקיכם Ki kadosh Ani Hashem Elokeichem. Because you have faith in God, therefore you will all merit to be holy. You want to be part of our community, you want to connect and focus on what we have in common, you want to be part of loving Hashem and trying to draw close to Him, you want to reach in and reach out and reach up together, there's space, come, join. כל עדת בני ישראל Kol adas Bnei Yisrael. We have to make such a community, all of us, not our community, the greater עם ישראל Am Yisrael community has to be such a community that makes such space, such space, that doesn't drive people further away, but invites them to come even closer באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham, where they are at and how they are holding and where and how they are living. That's why דבר אל כל עדת בני ישראל daber el kol adas Bnei Yisrael. That's why קדושים תהיו kedoshim tihiyu, this הבטחה haftacha, this not ציווי tzivui, not command, but this הבטחה haftacha, this promise is offered when we are כל עדת בני ישראל kol adas Bnei Yisrael. All that is number one.Number two, the תולדות יצחק Toldos Yitzchak, Rav Shmelke now quotes the תולדות יצחק Toldos Yitzchak. The word 'kedoshim' has three interpretations. As I've said, we've referenced some of these in the past, but we will invoke them again because of a new interpretation. קדושה כמשמעו Kedusha k'mashma'o, the first is holiness, holiness, be sacred, be holy, be higher. ב', לשון פרישות Beis, lashon prishus, כמו שפירש רש\"י k'mo she'peireish Rashi, פרושים תהיו prushim tihiyu. The second is פרושים prushim, be separate, be distinct, be apart. Don't dive into food, don't dive into drink, don't dive into physical materialism, don't dive into intimacy. Enjoy it, experience it, but with sanctity, separate, different, apart. So we enjoy wonderful delicacy and delicious food, which just came off of yuntif, we can enjoy a little less food, but we do it, it's kosher. We make a bracha before and after, we separate meat and milk, we do so with dignity and with separateness. We enjoy, in the kesuba obligation, in the marital obligation of a husband and a wife, is the obligation and commitment to provide physical intimacy and pleasure. So we don't say, look, you want to get married, I'm striving for holiness, which means we'll only be intimate when we have to have children, and other than that, I want to be holy. Judaism says, nice try, that's not what's in the kesuba. You're obligated, you have a commitment, you have an obligation. Gemara brings down different professions, different vocations, different frequencies, different complicated, but there's an obligation. The act is not only one that leads to procreation, there's a pleasure component to it, and an obligation to provide pleasure as part of it. But how do we do it? In the context of marriage, with a commitment and a bond, in the right time of the month, after Taharas Hamishpacha with a sense of kedusha and tahara, holiness and sanctity. So prushim, separate and apart. The רמב\"ם Rambam, the רמב\"ם's Rambam's משנה תורה Mishneh Torah, the רמב\"ם's Rambam's codification of Jewish law, his encyclopedia of Jewish law, which he did before word processors and computers and search engines while he was a full-time physician for the sultan. What the Rambam compiled just in his Mishneh Torah is mind-boggling, in the circumstances in which he did it, off often having to flee for his life at one point from persecution, mind-boggling, maybe even undergoing a forced conversion, mind-boggling, mind-boggling. The רמב\"ם Rambam has a משנה תורה Mishneh Torah, in his encyclopedia, he calls the יד החזקה Yad HaChazakah, it's made up of 14 books. It's an encyclopedia divided into 14 volumes, categories of Jewish law. And one of the volumes, one of the books is called קדושה Kedusha. And what appears in the volume called קדושה Kedusha? What do you think would appear in the volume of Jewish law called קדושה Kedusha? What laws? Certainly יום כיפור Yom Kippur. What other laws would you put in there? Maybe שבת Shabbos. You know what laws appear in there? Eating, the laws of intimacy, sexuality, interpersonal, intimate relationships. That's in קדושה Kedusha, that's in holiness, that's in sanctity? Yeah, because that's holiness and that's sanctity. To engage those physical experiences, but in a way that's separate and apart and elevated, and that's holy. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu. That's why what do we call marriage? קידושין Kedushin. הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו Harei at mekudeshes li b'taba'as zu. The חתן chosson turns to the כלה kallah, he puts a ring on her finger and he says, \"With this ring, you are מקודשת לי mekudeshes li.\" What does that mean, מקודשת לי mekudeshes li? You are holy to me. You are holy to me? What does he holy to me? You are here, by holy to me. What does he's making her holy? She's making him holy. Believe me, she's making him holier. I don't know how much holier he's making her. She's going to make him holier. So what does it mean מקודשת לי mekudeshes li? You know what it means? You are separate and apart. Till now, the שדכנים shatchanim could go to town. You were eligible on the market for anyone. But now that we're married, you're מקודשת לי mekudeshes li, פרושים prushim, separate and apart to me. You're אסור asur, you're forbidden to anyone else. That's the second interpretation. ג', לשון הכנה והזמנה Gimmel, lashon hachana v'hazmana. The third definition of the word קדושה Kedusha, for example, in שמות Shmos, in anticipation and getting ready for הר סיני Har Sinai, for מתן תורה Matan Torah, the Torah says וקדשתם היום ומחר v'kidashtam hayom u'machar, prepare, get ready, sanctify yourselves today and tomorrow. וקדשתם V'kidashtam also means to prepare, to get ready. So are these three separate definitions? Or are they all somehow one? They're really all one. Says the תולדות יצחק Toldos Yitzchak, because all the interpretations are intertwined with each other. First, you have to separate yourself from all bad middos, don't speak lashon hara, gossip, and rechilus, slander, or idle words, chas v'shalom. And through that, you can make the proper preparation to be ready and prepared to receive the influence of holiness from God, may He be blessed. So, separate yourself, through that you'll be prepared to then live holy. All three definitions are really one and the same. The ספרים sforim all point out, this parsha was said at a gathering, as we mentioned. The עצה להגיע לקדושה eitzah l'hagia l'kedusha, how can you become holy? על ידי אחדות ורעות Ali yedei achdus v'reius. You might have thought, why is the מצות קדושים תהיו mitzvas kedoshim tihiyu דוקא dafka given, דוקא dafka given הקהל hakhel? How? אל כל עדת בני ישראל Al kol adas Bnei Yisrael. Only when you're all united together and as one? I would have thought you want to be holy, if I want to be holy, I'm going to separate. I'm going to be apart. I'm going to go to the corner of the room, let me go live in some secluded space. I don't want to see anything unholy, I don't want anyone to speak to me and I'm going to end up gossiping or slandering. I don't want to waste my time. I don't want to engage in anything that's going to compromise my holiness. I would think that the path, the path to holiness is by isolation, living alone, that's how I'll be holy. In other religions, that's what they do. They retreat, celibacy, vows of abstinence, vows of silence, living in communes, living apart and separate. Hashem says, \"I want you to be holy.\" But you know how you can be holy? You can't be holy if you're apart. You can only be holy when you're part of the community, connected to community, when you're congregating with community, when you're united with community. I don't care how you're living, you're never seeing the image, you're never wasting time, you're never speaking negatively because you're not speaking to anyone at all. If you're doing that, you may check a lot of boxes, but that's not holy. The sum total, it all doesn't add up to holy. You can't be holy if you're not part of עדת כל בני ישראל adas kol Bnei Yisrael. If you're not part of a community, unity, unified, then you're not, then you're not part of holiness. You're not living with holiness. Okay? That is to begin. Now we move over to the לבוש Levush. Rav Druck also talks about kedoshim tihiyu. It begins with the medrash plea. Davar acher kedoshim tihiyu. The medrash says, Medrash Rabbah, had hu d'chsiv, yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh. We say a pasuk from Tehillim perek kaf. Yaancha Hashem b'yom tzarah. We've been saying it with a lot of extra kavana these days. Hashem, answer us in our time of crisis. Perek kaf, say it every morning. And in there we have the pasuk, yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh. Send your help from your holiness, from your sanctity. So, the medrash is mufla. Ma shayach os yesh bein kedoshim tihiyu l'yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh. The medrash connects the two and says kedoshim tihiyu, be holy, yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh, Hashem, send your help from your holiness. What does one thing have to do with the other? Just because both use the word holy, two psukim use the word holy, somehow we connect them. What's the connection between the two? Nireh l'hatzia biur, so says Rav Druck, the following. All of a sudden a person sits and thinks in his heart, \"How can I sanctify myself and be so holy?\" It's a very difficult thing, and it involves great struggles. And for this, the medrash says, \"Kedoshim tihiyu yachol kamoni.\" A person could say to themselves, \"Be holy? How? Have you driven down I-95? Have you looked at the billboards today? Have you stepped outside and seen the way people dress? Have you engaged technology in any way with its temptations? Even with filters, the challenges? Are you living a life today of the financial pressure that we have and the invitation to cut corners, to cheat, to be dishonest? Do you know how difficult it is to get through a day and not share the juiciest lashon hara that you have? The greatest commodity socially. It's hard to live a life of holiness. It's very hard to guard your eyes and guard your tongue and guard your bris, so much guarding. So much guard duty. It's hard to be on guard all day, it's exhausting. Just want to live free, indulge every impulse, every instinct. To not indulge every impulse and instinct, to be on guard of every component of who you are, to be ever mindful and present in everything you say and listen to and look at and do and every choice, it's incredibly, incredibly difficult, incredibly, incredibly hard. And moreover, the medrash says, \"Yachol kamoni, you might think you could be holy like I am,\" says God. \"Talmud lomar ki kadosh ani, kedushasi l'ma'ala mi'kedushaschem. No, no, no, no, no. You could be holy, similar, but not like me, because my holiness is greater than yours.\" How can one reach such levels of holiness? I might have gotten confused I can be holy like God? That's how holy I have to be? Such holiness is even attainable, is possible? How? It's beyond me. How? Okayn, meishiv haKadosh Baruch Hu, yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh. I'm going to send you help. In your quest, in your yearning, in your ambition and aspiration for holiness, you know where you will draw help from? You know what will be the engine that will power you towards that holiness? Yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh, from my holiness, says God. You will do from your side a small action, and God will already send some of his help. He will give you help from the heavens and sanctify you. He will already cast upon you the holiness. Hashem says, \"You take a little step and I will meet you far away.\" You do a little bit, show a little gesture. Look away, there was the image, you could have gazed at, you could have looked at. The thing you could have said, but you held your tongue. There was the act you could have done, but you didn't do it. You do a little bit, a little bit, and I'm going to help you so much, says Hashem. Yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh. But the first step is you have to live for holiness, not happiness. You have a lot of, a lot of observant Jews who are living for happiness, not holiness. They check a lot of boxes. I made it to minyan, I went to Daf Yomi, I give my tzedakah, I say my Tehillim, I do, I'm my Shabbos, I did my yuntif, I spent my billion dollars on hand shmura matzah. Check, check, check, check, check. Kids send my kids to Jewish school, send my kids to Jewish camp. Check, check, check, check, check. But now when it comes to how do I speak and what do I look at, and whether bechlal is part of my goal every day, is part of the metric in which I measure my success for a day, did I strive for holiness today? Between myself and myself, between myself and others, between myself and God. And there are many people who say no. I check all the other boxes, I did all the other things, but that overarching, that striving for holiness, no. So Hashem says, \"I need you to just have the ambition. I need you to have the ratzon, the will. And if you have the will and the desire, if you want, then at least we'll start.\" You know, what's true spiritually is true physically. It's true physically. There are people who are not living the healthiest lifestyles, but some who at least acknowledge that and want to do better. So they cut out a little bit. So maybe they fressed and stuffed their face all day, but that last opportunity for that last bite of the last piece of the last helping of the last dessert, they said, \"You know what, I'm going to leave that on my plate.\" So Hashem says, \"Okay, at least you're demonstrating that it's, it's on your radar.\" It's on your radar that living a healthier life is something you should do. So demonstrate something. Show it's on your radar in the least bit. By the way, there was such a thing as the Taanis HaRivd. The great Rivd, the intellectual adversary of the Rambam who wrote his hasagos on the Rambam, introduced what's called Taanis HaRivd. Taanis HaRivd is to leave over the last bite of everything you eat. Why? It sounds wasteful to me. It sounds like a total bal tashchis. You're going to throw out the last bite. So bal tashchis is not only when you put food in the garbage, your mouth is also a garbage disposal. And if you don't need to eat that, then your mouth acting as a garbage disposal is no less bal tashchis than putting it in the actual garbage. That's number one. There are many people who grew up with survivors and others and the mentality you can't throw any food out. And we understand where that came from, but it created generations with diabetes and heart disease and many other problems. And I don't mean to assign them blame, it's understandable where it came from, a survivor mentality, you can't throw out any food, so you have to eat absolutely everything. But I want to tell you, and I'm not making this up, it appears in sforim, that putting something in your mouth when you shouldn't be eating it is as much throwing it in the garbage as putting it in the garbage. It is no less bal tashchis. So the Rivd used to leave over the last bite to demonstrate that I'm not eating in a gluttonous way, that I eat to live, I don't live to eat. And how does one demonstrate that? By leaving something over on the plate. Now Ozempic makes that easy. But before that, there was a Taanis HaRivd to leave over that last bite and to not, and to not eat it, and to not eat it. So, why is that meaningful? Why is that meaningful? You know, the person who ate all, this was me, ate 10 meals a day Pesach, endless amounts of matzah, gluttonous and disgusting, but it was such a great I cannot because they walked around the lake once each afternoon. Trust me that did nothing to offset the quantity of matzah that's still sitting there, the quantity of in the stomach, that's still, trust me it did nothing. But you know what it did do? It demonstrated I know right now that I'm unhealthy and I want to be healthier. I have an aspiration, I have a vision, I have a hope, I have a wish, I want to want. Hashem says when it comes to ruchnius, kedusha, when it comes to holiness and sanctity, show me the want, demonstrate a little bit, a little bit. So you looked at something you shouldn't have looked at all the way and at the last moment you turned away. Show a little bit. And yishlach ezr'cha mikodesh, I will send you help. I will send you help. I will send you help. That's the yachol kamoni. You might think you could be, you could be like me. You could sanctify yourself on your own and not only do a small action from your side. God can make you holy even like him. You think Hashem could make us holy even like him? Yachol kamoni. Hashem is going to help us so much, you could be kamoni. The Gemara in Eruvin says similarly, daf nun gimmel. Pitchu li pesach k'chudo shel machat, v'ani eftach lachem pesach k'pischo shel ulam. Hashem says, \"You create an opening the size of the eye of a needle, and I will make an opening the size of the entrance to Marlin Stadium, to an ulam, to a huge hall.\" So Rav Druck quotes his father, the Drash Mordechai, Rav Mordechai Druk zatzal, the Gemara. Notice it says, \"Pitchu li pesach k'chudo shel machat.\" Hashem invites us and asks us, \"Make me an opening as small as the hole of a needle.\" \"V'ani arhiv lachem,\" it should have said, \"I will expand it to be the size of the entrance to Giant Stadium.\" But it doesn't say that. It says, \"You make an opening the size of the eye of a needle, v'ani eftach, and I'll make an opening for you the size of the entrance to Grand Central Station.\" Mashma she'pischo shel haKadosh Baruch Hu einenu herchavas, means that Hashem is not just expanding what we started. Hashem is not just saying, \"You get started in any measure, and I'll make it larger, I'll expand it.\" Ela hu pose'ach chadash, pesach chadash l'gamrei, mi'makom acher. He's making something new entirely from a new place. HaKadosh Baruch Hu doresh me'adam rak et hishtadlus ha'rishonos, sheya'aseh kol sheb'yicholto v'chochei l'hatzliach. Aval ha'hatzlacha b'sof ha'davar yavi haKadosh Baruch Hu b'ein sof drachim acheros, v'yitachein she'af b'drachim shonos l'gamrei m'oso ha'derech bo nisa ha'adam v'asa es hishtadluso. God is going to help in ways that don't correspond with your effort. We've showed this in the amuna shiur many, many times, our Wednesday morning amuna shiur. We know that we have to do effort, take initiative, and then there's divine... divine providence, intervention, השגחה hashgacha. But they don't always correlate. We have to do both, but they don't always overlap. I've referenced many times, I have a brother-in-law who's a lawyer in Israel. And he says, part of a necessary evil of life, of work is you have to network, you have to drum up business, you have to sell, you have to bring in clients, you have to be a rainmaker, you have to make it rain. So every now and then he has to make a little more effort to do that, to make sure that if you're not going up, you're you're going down. He says, inevitably and invariably every time that he does, which in his case from Israel could mean trips to America, phone, email connections, relationships, almost always, business comes in afterwards, that has nothing to do with the networking he did. A past client reaches out again, someone else referred him through somebody else. He shows the initiative, and all the ways in which he showed the initiative didn't yield anything, but the results come in from somewhere else. So you might think, well what's the point of the initiative? Next time I'll just sit back and those results will come from elsewhere. The answer is they absolutely correlate because the One above is putting it all together. And the same thing is true in רוחניות ruchnius, in our ambition for קדושה kedusha. So a person says, I'm going to demonstrate in this small way that I'm working on myself, that I want to be healthier, that I live for. Then הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu altogether is going to make an opening somewhere else, somewhere else because he says, you that's your רצון ratzon, that's your will? You're demonstrating this dream, this hope, this aspiration, it's on your radar, you care about this and think about this? Good. Now I'm going to open up the world for you. Not only expand what you've started, I'm going to create it differently for you as well. And that's why it's not אני ארחיב ani archiev, I'll expand the opening, אני אפתח ani eftach. I'm going to open up worlds for you. I'm going to open up worlds. Rav Druck goes on more about this, but I want to move on to פרשה Parsha, but what an incredible, incredible push and and motivation. קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu is not a ציווי tzivui, it's not a command. It is a promise. There is the possibility for living with holiness. And no matter how much this world is assaulting us with images and opportunities and temptations, it is harder to be holy than it's ever been. Harder to be holy. I think it's harder to be holy today than it was in the middle of Greece, in the in the in the worst time of the Olympias and and and the worship of the body and nudity, because we basically have that again today. It's harder to be holy today. Harder to be holy. A lot of women are looking at me like I don't know what you're talking about. A lot of men are like, absolutely tell them, they have no idea. It is harder to be holier today than it's ever been. Don't give up on yourself or on others. That possibility, that promise is inside us. We have to make the gesture. We have to demonstrate the will. We have to want it, we have to want to want it a little bit. And הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu will open up worlds to change things around, to introduce us to a new learning, a new חברותא chavrusa, to take away a temptation that might have been right in front of us, confronting us. הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu will open worlds for us. All we have to do is to begin to want it, to begin to dream it, have it be on our radar as something that we care about at all.Okay, one more. One more and then we'll get past this opening פסוק pasuk. One more from the להבות אש Lehavos Eish. This comes from the קאצקער Kotsker. So, in מגילת אסתר Megillas Esther it says, it says שאר היהודים אשר במדינות המלך נקהלו ועמד על נפשם, ונוח מאויביהם והרוג בשונאיהם sha'ar haYehudim asher b'medinos ha'melech nikhalu v'amod al nafsham, v'noach me'oivayhem v'harog b'sonayhem. The end of the מגילה megillah, the ninth פרק perek, in the penultimate פרק perek, the מגילה megillah tells us that the rest of the Jews in the rest of the kingdoms of the king, נקהלו nikhalu, let them gather, ועמד על נפשם v'amod al nafsham, and stand for their lives, and then they'll be able to rest from their enemies and kill their enemies. The קאצקער רבה Kotsker Rebbe says, נקהלו שהקהילו ואספו כל רצונם שלהם nikhalu she'hikeelu v'asfu kol retzonam shelahem. What is it that they gathered? Not only physically, but they gathered their רצונות retzonos, והתאחדו לכח עצום ורצון איתן v'hisachadu l'koach atzum v'ratzon eitan. What they do is they collaborated together. When the Jewish people collaborate, עמוד על נפשם amod al nafsham, there is nothing that can stop us. Nothing that can stop us. רק בזה היו יכולים לנצח rak b'zeh hayu yecholim l'natzeach. You know when we defeat our enemies? When we collaborate and when we combine our efforts and when we unite our strength. When we are competing, when we are conflicting, when we are criticizing one another, we're done. מפוזר ומפורד mefuzar u'meforad, our enemies defeat us. The קאצקער רבה Kotsker Rebbe redefined, נקהלו nikhalu is לשון נפל lashon nifal, נקהלו nikhalu doesn't just mean to gather physically. נקהלו Nikhalu means to collaborate. It means to work together with our strengths. Then, יחד ננצח yachad nenatzeach. Nobody can stop us. לפי זה חזר הרבי מקאצק וביאר כי גם בפרשתנו שפיר l'fi zeh chazar ha'rebbeh mi'Kotsk u've'er ki gam b'parshaseinu shapir, and the Kotsker Rebbe explained our Parsha similarly. פרשה זו נאמר בהקהל Parsha zu ne'emar b'hakhel. This Parsha was given when we are united. רק על ידי ריכוז כל הכוחות הנפשיים של ישראל אפשר להגיע למדרגה שהם ממלכת כהנים וגוי קדוש Rak al yedei rikuz kol ha'kochos ha'nafshiyim shel Yisrael, efshar l'hagia l'madreiga shehem mamleches kohanim v'goy kadosh. נקהלו ועמדו על נפשם Nikhalu v'amdu al nafsham. How can we defeat our enemies, be they physically or be they spiritually? When we unite and collaborate, when we combine our skills and our talents and our focus and our will to want to create a certain community. An army can only work together when the paratroopers and the tanks and the engineers and the combat and the intelligence, when they're all uniting. If they're competing, if they're criticizing one another, forget it. It's over. Our enemy will pounce. And the same is true in the army called עם ישראל Am Yisrael. עם ישראל Am Yisrael. We have to recognize and collaborate and stop criticizing and understand the different units that we're made up of and take all of our skills and all of our talents and all of our strengths and use them together, and only in that way will we win. פרק יט פסוק ו Perek yud tes pasuk vav.Told you we turned the page. Page 660 in the Artscroll חומש Chumash Stone חומש Chumash. פרשת קדושים Parshas Kedoshim is one of our favorite פרשיות parshiyos. It is chock full of מצוות mitzvos. It is incredible. What is the common theme? Why does it come in this order? Why the juxtaposition of the פסוקים psukim? All worth studying, all worth studying. It would take so much time. פרשת קדושים Parshas Kedoshim is fantastic. And how to decide which פסוקים psukim to focus on. Again, listen to previous years, we focused on previous ideas. This year we are introducing new ones. פרק יט פסוק טו Perek yud tes pasuk tes vav.לא תעשו עול במשפט לא תשא פני דל ולא תהדר פני גדול בצדק תשפט עמיתך Lo sa'asu avel b'mishpat, lo sisa pnei dal v'lo sehdar pnei gadol, b'tzedek tishpot amisecha. Do not commit a perversion of justice, do not favor the poor, and do not honor the great, with righteousness shall you judge your fellow. Here is an instruction of how to judge. So you might be inclined, if you have too much sympathy, you might be inclined to, you might be inclined to favor the poor. Now the poor person maybe did the wrong thing, but נעבעך nebach they're poor, so I'll find in their in their favor. Or maybe the rich, well they're rich and I'm so impressed and I want to get in, so I'll find in their favor. You know what that's called? A perversion of justice. It's very hard for judges. Very hard. I've been to court several times on behalf of others for different reasons and in different context, including sentences. And every time I realize I could never be a judge. Because I would never be able to sentence anybody. Because you read the letters and you hear the testimony, you look at the people and you see how contrite they are and their grant and their remorse and the promise of how different it will be. It's hard. It's hard to be a judge and say this is the law and this is the rule and justice and justice has to be served and even with compassion and even with compromise, but there has to be justice. It's hard. I'll tell you something a little controversial that you may not want to hear. From the Torah law, women can't serve as judges. The הלכה halacha women aren't witnesses or judges. And one of the interpretations offered of why is it's absolutely not biased or sexist. The reason is because women, what's the word in Hebrew for mercy? רחמנות Rachmanus. It's the same word as רחם rechem, which is a womb. A woman who carries and gives birth and nurtures a baby has a more innate inclination, intuition towards mercy, towards mercy. To be a judge, you have to suppress your inclination towards mercy. To a degree, you have to suppress that inclination towards mercy. So, there is a feminine, there's a feminine natural intuition towards mercy, which a woman is capable of shutting off and expressing a more masculine, objective, cruel, harsh justice. She's capable. But we don't want her to, because we want her to be an amazing mother and grandmother and compassionate leader in a community who is expressing and motivating the mercy. I said it may make someone happy. But the reality is that we have different gender strengths and we want to promote those and support those and protect those, not confuse those. So that's why there are different roles. So the one with the רחם rechem who practices the רחמנות rachmanus doesn't serve in the position that needs to dial down רחמנות rachmanus to be able to have more דין din. It's all complicated. So this פסוק pasuk here is reminding us of this complication. That a person לא תעשו עול במשפט lo sa'asu avel b'mishpat, don't do an injustice. Don't think that you're such a קנאקער knakker with such רחמנות rachmanus that you're going to show mercy. Because mercy against one is cruelty to another. So you have to practice justice. Don't show favor to the poor, don't show favor to the rich, בצדק תשפט עמיתך b'tzedek tishpot amisecha. Says רש״י כשמועו Rashi k'mashmao. דבר אחר והוי דן את כל חברך לכף זכות davar acher, v'hevei dan es kol chavercha l'chaf zechus. Then רש״י Rashi kicks in, it's true not only in the courtroom, it's true in life. With everyone with whom we interact, friend and family member, דן את כל אדם לכף זכות dan es kol adam l'chaf zechus. Judge people favorably. There's a מצוה mitzva. Carry out justice. בצדק תשפט עמיתך b'tzedek tishpot amisecha. Carry out justice. Carry out justice not only in a courtroom, carry out justice in life means judge others favorably, give the benefit of the doubt. So I want to tell you an amazing מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin. It's an incredible מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin. We shared this מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin at the women's שיעור shiur last שמחת תורה Simchas Torah. We gave a שיעור shiur on self-care. Is self-care a Jewish concept? Self-care. So מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin we share this as a form of self-care. Listen to this מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin.The גמרא in סוטה דף ב עמוד א Gemara in Sotah daf beis amud aleph tells us, למה נסמכה פרשת נזיר לפרשת סוטה lama nismicha parshas nazir l'parshas sotah? Why does the Torah juxtapose the story of the נזיר nazir, the nazarite who takes a vow of abstinence not to drink wine, not to become contaminated, not to cut their hair? Why does that appear right after the story of the סוטה sotah, the wayward woman who was disloyal to her husband? לומר לך Lomar lach, teaches us, שכל הרואה סוטה בקלקולה, יזיר עצמו מן היין she'kol ha'roeh sotah b'kilkulah, yazir atzmo min ha'yayin. Because whoever sees a wayward woman, you see the result, the consequence, what happened to this woman who cheated on her husband, you need to react by striving for greater holiness, by taking a vow to become a נזיר nazir. You see from here גודל השפעת הראיה godel hashpa'as ha're'iyah. What why? You you saw the woman, what was the consequence? What happens to this woman? What's her punishment? She dies a horrific death. Isn't that enough to motivate you not to follow her footsteps? Why do you also have to go overboard now and take a vow, don't drink wine, don't cut your hair, don't become impure? Isn't it enough that you saw that she died a horrific, graphic, violent death? Isn't that enough? The answer is it's not enough. When you see that a person is capable of something, until now you said, yeah, the Torah has a law, nobody should cheat on their spouse. But nobody would ever do that. Oh, so and so did that? That's like a possibility? People do that? That happens? Just seeing that, knowing that, that entering your realm of possibility, now you have to do something to offset that. ויש לה השפעה עצומה על האדם עד שאמרו שאדם הרואה סוטה בקלקולה צריך לעשות מעשה בפועל כדי למנוע השפעת הראיה הזו שעומדת לנגד עיניו V'yesh la hashpa'ah atzumah al ha'adam ad she'amru she'adam ha'roeh sotah b'kilkulah tzarich la'asos ma'aseh b'fo'al kedei limnoa hashpa'as ha're'iyah ha'zu she'omedes l'neged einav. That which you've now seen, that which now enters your realm of possibility, you need to do something to offset that. You need to take something upon yourself to be different than that. לשון הגמרא הרואה סוטה בקלקולה Lashon ha'gemara, ha'roeh sotah b'kilkulah. The language of the גמרא Gemara was, if you see a סוטה בקלקולה sotah b'kilkulah. אין הביאור הרואה בזנותה, בשעת עבירה Ein ha'be'ur ha'roeh b'znusah, b'shaas aveirah. It doesn't mean that you see her in the moment she did the sin, שהרי נסתרה ואין עדים בה she'harei nistera v'ein eidim bah. She did so privately, modestly, I mean she did her immodesty in a modest way. It was behind the closed door. You didn't actually see it. What does it mean you saw it? What means you saw it is that you were exposed to it, you became aware of it. You read about it online. Somebody told you about it at the שבת Shabbos table. Someone whispered it to you at a קידוש kiddush. That's what it means הרואה ha'roeh. When you become aware, just becoming aware of indecent behavior makes you vulnerable to do the indecent behavior. When it becomes the realm of possibility. So listen to the מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin says, until now I thought, listen to this מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin. Until now I thought, why should you judge someone else favorably? Because נעבעך nebach maybe you saw them in their worst moment not their best. Maybe you don't really understand what they're going through, maybe you're not judging them correctly, you're not judging them favorably. It's how you would have wanted to be judged. So when you see someone doing the wrong thing, judge them favorably. They're coming out of McDonald's, they were using the bathroom. They look like they're talking during דאווענען davening, they had an emergency, something they had to say. They did, they came late to שול shul, they were helping a widow. They were helping a single woman who happens to be their wife. They were, judge them favorably. Judge them favorably. So until I thought, why should you judge favorably? Because it's a nice thing you're doing for, you know, for the other person. Says the מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin, you know why judging them favorably is good for you? You're doing it for you. Because when they did something wrong, you were just judging them favorably, now you saw someone doing something wrong and you're capable of doing it. But when you judge them favorably, now you didn't see someone doing something wrong, it doesn't make you more likely to do it yourself. Isn't that an amazing מהרי״ל דיסקין Maharil Diskin? So be דן את כל אדם לכף זכות dan es kol adam l'chaf zechus. Judge others favorably, not for them. Judge others favorably for you. Because when you live a life that you're judging others favorably, then you'll never see anyone doing anything wrong and you'll be, I can't do anything wrong, I've never seen anyone else doing anything wrong. Because all I see are people who are doing things right. So this is a form of self-care. One of the way that you could take care of yourself is to not be exposed to and to not be tempted by and to not think it's in the realm of possibility because you never see anyone doing anything wrong. And how is it you never see anyone doing anything wrong? Because you're always דן את כל אדם לכף זכות dan es kol adam l'chaf zechus. Anytime someone, no, you benefit of the doubt. You're everyone else's defense attorney. You know who lived that way? The הייליגער רב לוי יצחק Heiliger Rav Levi Yitzchak, the ברדיטשובער Berdichever. The ברדיטשובער Berdichever always gave the Jewish people the benefit of the doubt. Always. We shared at the סעודת משיח seudas Moshiach, you know מוצאי פסח Motzei Pesach, it's borderline embarrassing מוצאי פסח Motzei Pesach, that כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael just fasted for eight days, run out the door and line up around the block because they haven't had חמץ chametz to get pizza, to get a bagel, to get a donut. Like they haven't been fed in forever. It's borderline embarrassing, embarrassing. They should be as excited. We spoke about the גערער ראש ישיבה Gerrer Rosh Yeshiva of Rav Shaul Alter שליט״א shlita said, you should be able to not sleep at night after מוצאי פסח Motzei Pesach with excitement to put your תפילין tefillin on for the first time in the next morning after a week of not wearing תפילין tefillin, more than you're already eating your first bite of pizza of חמץ chametz. What do we do? We line up around the block to get חמץ chametz on מוצאי פסח Motzei Pesach, and, תפילין tefillin, put it on, don't put it on, whatever. So the ברדיטשובער Berdichever would have said, Rav Shaul Alter quotes the ברדיטשובער Berdichever would have said, השם Hashem look, isn't עם ישראל Am Yisrael amazing? They love pizza and חמץ chametz and donuts and bagels so much, they're lining up around the block. And even though they love it so much, for eight days they didn't eat it for you. That's how the ברדיטשובער Berdichever would have said. Because that's how the ברדיטשובער Berdichever lived. דן את כל אדם לכף זכות Dan es kol adam l'chaf zechus. He didn't see what a group of אויספרעסערס oysfressers, they can't live without חמץ chametz till the next morning. They haven't stopped eating for eight days and they got to go eat. The ברדיטשובער Berdichever would have said, look at עם ישראל Am Yisrael's amazing. They love חמץ chametz so much and yet they went eight days without it just for you. So if you're דן את כל אדם לכף זכות dan es kol adam l'chaf zechus, if you judge everyone favorably, you never see anyone doing anything wrong. If you never see anyone doing anything wrong, you'll never be tempted to do anything wrong either, because how could you do anything wrong when no one does anything wrong? You'll never be driven or tempted by it either. So it's not a nice thing you're doing for the other, it is a nice thing we're doing for ourselves.The Torah then goes on, one of the laws in our פרשה parsha, פסוק יז pasuk yud zayin. לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך ולא תשא עליו חטא Lo sisna es achicha bilvavecha, hochei'ach tochiach es amisecha v'lo sisa alav cheit. Rebuke him. Don't hate your brother in your heart, confront him, put it on the table, have a conversation, give feedback, offer constructive criticism. ולא תשא עליו חטא v'lo sisa alav cheit, and don't bear a sin because of him, because of him. Because you know who's wrong? You might be right, but you're wrong if you don't resolve it, if you don't share it, if you don't communicate about it, if you don't have a conversation. If you don't have a conversation. Back to the holy רחמסטריווקא Rachmastrivka. And he quotes the following here. He quotes the following here. On הוכח תוכיח hochei'ach tochiach. He quotes from the הייליגער תפארת עוזיאל heiliger Tiferes Uzziel. הוכח תוכיח Hochei'ach tochiach, why do we have a double language? אמרו חז״ל Amru Chazal, דברים היוצאים מן הלב נכנסים אל הלב dvarim ha'yotzim min ha'lev nichnasim el ha'lev, the things that leave our heart are received by the other heart the way that it left our heart. לכן כשבא על הלב להוכיחו צריך הוא קודם כל להוכיח את עצמו Lachen k'sheba al ha'lev l'hochicho, tzarich hu kodem kol l'hochiach es atzmo. When you give rebuke or criticism, it only lands the way it was offered, the way it was given. If it's given harshly, if it's given duplicitously, if it's given hypocritically, if it's given judgmentally, if it's given with a holier than thou attitude, then it's not going to be received genuinely. But if it's given with love and with connection, in earnest, with care and with concern, and from the heart, then it'll be received that way. So how do you ensure that that happens? Why is there the double language הוכח תוכיח hochei'ach tochiach? צריך הוא תחילה להוכיח את עצמו, להיות עצמו ישר וטוב, אז יוכל לדבר דברים היוצאים מן הלב שיכנסו לאוזן השומע שיקבל הדברים וימהר לתקן מעשיו. מה שאין כן אם דברי המוכיח אינם יוצאים מלבו אלא נשארים בפיו, לא יקבל תוכחתו Tzarich hu techila l'hochiach es atzmo, l'hiyos atzmo yosher v'tov, az yuchal l'daber dvarim hayotzim min ha'lev she'yikansu l'ozen ha'shomei'a she'yekabel ha'dvarim v'yimaher l'saken ma'asav. Ma she'ein kein im divrei ha'mochiach einam yotzim milibo elah nish'arim b'fiv, lo yekabel tochachto. הוכח תוכיח Hochei'ach, tochiach. Whatever you're about to offer rebuke about, first check yourself. First look in the mirror. You know when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you. When you point a finger at someone, you are always late, you are so obsessed with your technology, you always gossip, you always yell at me, you have no patience, you overspend, you're always late for davening, you always talk during davening, you, you, you, you, you. Whatever you're about to give rebuke, תוכחה tochacha about, when you point that finger, there are three pointing back at you. שוט עצמך ואחר כך שוט אחרים אמרו חז״ל Shot atzmecha v'achar kach shot acheirim amru Chazal. So therefore says the תפארת עוזיאל Tiferes Uzziel there's the double language הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך hochei'ach tochiach es amisecha. הוכח Hochei'ach comma, rebuke yourself, check yourself. You're good? Now תוכיח את עמיתך tochiach es amisecha. Also check yourself, why am I sharing this? Why am I giving this feedback and this rebuke? Because I caught him? Because it's a dig at him? Because it makes me feel superior to him? הוכח Hochei'ach. First check yourself, rebuke yourself about why you're giving rebuke. And then הוכח then תוכיח את עמיתך hochei'ach den tochiach es amisecha. First check yourself why you're giving a rebuke, and only then can you give a rebuke. Because if you're giving the feedback and the criticism because you care, because you love, because you want to uplift, you want to support, you want to strengthen, then you should give it. But if you're giving it because it makes you feel better about yourself, superior to the other, then keep your mouth closed. Then you're not in a position to be giving rebuke to anyone else. So first הוכח hochei'ach, first check yourself. First of all, are you good at whatever you're about to give rebuke about? Number one. And number two, why? What's motivating you to give this rebuke? הוכח Hochei'ach. First check yourself. And only when it checks out, then are you in a position to תוכיח את עמיתך tochiach es amisecha. את עמיתך es amisecha. And then לא תשא עליו חטא lo sisa alav cheit. Then לא תשא עליו חטא lo sisa alav cheit. Why does it say אחיך achicha? Rav Druck wonders, you know, we haven't gotten past yet the אמרי תורה imrei Torah and the להבות אש Lehavos Eish. We got to expand our repertoire over here today. Why does it say אחיך achicha? So Rav Druck says, you know why it says אחיך achicha? For this very reason. If you're coming to rebuke them because he's your enemy, then keep your mouth closed. It has to be your brother. לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך Lo sisna es achicha bilvavecha. How do you not hate the person in your heart? By making him into your brother. Make him into your brother. Make him into your brother. When the person is your brother, then it's genuine. He doesn't quote this, but we've shared before, that when יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu comes up to the the shepherds at the well, and they're sitting around wasting their employer's money because the day is not over and they're just sitting there. And he walks up and he says, hey אחי achai, hey brothers, what's going on? It's not calling time, it's not quitting time. Why are you just sitting here? And they say, oh you know you're right, we should get to work, and they respond positively and favorably. And the commentaries wonder, why are they responding favorably? Why are they responding positively? This absolute stranger, holier than thou, no one asked him, walks up and gives them rebuke and criticism from nowhere. Who is he? Why don't they punch him in the nose? What are they doing? You know why? Because first he says אחי achai. Hey brothers, what's going on? What's your name? Where are you from? What's happening? Did you see the Knicks game last night? Did you hear about the Yankee season so far? You following what's going on with this that or the other? You know, guys, I'm not sure it's quitting time yet. Maybe we should get back to work. When a person feels it's coming from a position of אחי achai, אחיך achicha, when someone's your brother, I care about you, I love you, I want the best for you. This is about raising all of us. Tell me what I could work on. I'm sharing something you could work on. Then they respond well, positively and favorably. But when it's coming from a position of an enemy, of the other, of catching me, of feeling superior, then everyone shuts down. Nobody's interested in hearing it.פרק יט פסוק יח Perek yud tes pasuk yud ches. One of the most famous פסוקים psukim in the Torah. לא תקום ולא תטור את בני עמך Lo sikom v'lo sitor es bnei amecha, don't take revenge against your members of your nation, ואהבת לרעך כמוך אני השם v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha, Ani Hashem. Love your neighbor as yourself. Again, this we spoke about a million times. So, don't לא תקום ולא תטור lo sikom v'lo sitor. ספר החינוך Sefer HaChinuch writes the following. ספר החינוך מצוה רמ״א Sefer HaChinuch mitzva reish mem aleph. רמ״א Reish mem aleph, 241, writes the following. משורשי המצוה Mi'shorshei ha'mitzva, why is the Torah against revenge? It's a separate topic, because in our davening we describe God as the vengeful God. God's allowed to take revenge. We ask God, קל נקמות ה Kel nekamos Hashem. Right now, God go take revenge against Sinwar, against Hamas, against all those enemies, against everyone on campus again, who's protesting, against, go take revenge, go show them who's boss, go do your thing. But we are forbidden to take revenge. So it's a separate topic. What is the Jewish approach to revenge? How do we understand that? Where do we fit that in? Why for God yes, for us no? But the Torah here tells us לא תקום ולא תטור lo sikom v'lo sitor, don't take revenge. And there are two forms of revenge. לא תקום ולא תטור Lo sikom v'lo sitor. One form of revenge is, I went to my neighbor and I said, can I borrow your lawnmower? And he said no. Then he came to me and he said, can I borrow your chainsaw? Say, you didn't let me borrow your lawnmower, no. Taking revenge. Torah says you can't do that. לא תטור Lo sitor is, I say, unlike you who didn't lend me the lawnmower, absolutely, use my chainsaw because I am much better than you. That's לא תטור lo sitor. Don't not do the act out of revenge and don't do the act, but remind the person and invoke what they did to you. So the ספר החינוך Sefer HaChinuch wonders why? What is the reason? What is the nature behind this prohibition of לא תקום ולא תטור lo sikom v'lo sitor, why is revenge forbidden? Listen to what he says. This is amazing. And this for me is amazingly strengthened. This helped get me through some difficult challenging times in my career and my life. שידע האדם ויתן אל לבו כי כל אשר יקרהו מטוב ועד רע הוא סיבת שתבוא עליו מאת השם ברוך הוא She'yeda ha'adam v'yitein el libo ki kol asher yikreihu mi'tov v'ad ra, hu sibas she'tavo alav me'es Hashem Baruch Hu. Whatever happens to you in life comes from above, comes from the Almighty for good or for bad. ומיד האדם מיד איש אחיו לא יהיה דבר בלתי רצון השם ברוך הוא U'miyad ha'adam miyad ish achiv lo yihyeh davar bilti rotzon Hashem Baruch Hu. Another person couldn't do anything unless Hashem willed it and wanted it, unless Hashem allowed it. על כן כשיצערהו או יכאיבהו אדם ידע בנפשו כי עונותיו גרמו והשם גזר עליו בכך Al kein k'she'yitza'areihu o yach'iveihu adam, yeda b'nafsho ki avonosav garmu v'Hashem gazar alav b'chach, ולא ישית מחשבותיו לנקום ממנו כי הוא אינו סיבת רעתו כי העוון מסבב v'lo yashis machshevosav linkom mimenu ki hu eino sibas ra'aso ki ha'avon mesovev. So when something bad happens, somebody hit your car, somebody stole money, somebody punched you in the face, somebody wrote something nasty about you online, somebody hung posters about you outside their house, somebody, somebody did something harsh, hurtful, someone injured you materially or emotionally, and you're tempted to lash out and you want to take revenge and you want to show them your fury. Says the ספר החינוך Sefer HaChinuch, take a deep breath and pause and recognize whatever happened came from Hashem. For whatever reason you needed to experience Hashem determined this is what's right for you. Now, should you hold the other person accountable? Yes. Torah doesn't say don't hold them accountable. He damaged your car, go to בית דין beis din and recover, have them compensate the damages. Embarrassed you, according to the Torah there are damages. If there are damages, you could recover the damages, but you can never take revenge. Why can't you take revenge? Because revenge would imply that he alone, she alone, the other party alone caused this. So you're going to get even, you're going to take revenge. But realize this is from Hashem. Now Hashem הרבי שלוחים למקום harbei shluchim la'makom. Hashem could have brought it about through many means. It came about through that party, be compensated, hold the other party accountable. But ultimately it comes from Hashem. We learn this from דוד המלך Dovid HaMelech. הניחו ויקלל כי אמר לו השם Hanichu v'yikalel ki amar lo Hashem. תלה עניני בחטאו ולא בשמעי בן גרא Tala inyani b'cheto v'lo b'Shimi ben Gera. שמעי בן גרא Shimi ben Gera was cursing out דוד המלך Dovid HaMelech, he said don't take his head, this is from Hashem that I have to undergo this and hear this and absorb this, and don't therefore, don't therefore hold him responsible. דוד המלך Dovid HaMelech is our role model in this. So therefore, revenge is really a lesson in, an exercise in אמונה emunah. If you live with and you feel the presence of Hashem in your life and you know that everything that happens is from him, then you'll realize, I'm not going to channel my anger against the person. Instead, I'm going to reflect, what is this meant to teach me? What am I meant to take away from this? Am I gonna, you know, go on vacation with that person? No. Will they be my best friend? Absolutely not. If they injured me materially, should I be compensated? 100%. But my emotional energy won't be directed towards them because really what happened came from Hashem. They were just the שליח shliach. They were just the שליח shliach. Says the ספר החינוך Sefer HaChinuch, that is what's going on behind this מצוה mitzva. The משגיח רב דן סגל שליט״א Mashgiach Rav Don Segal shlita points out from this חינוך Chinuch that all these פסוקים psukim, לא תשנא lo sisna, לא תשא עליו חטא lo sisa alav cheit, לא תקום ולא תטור lo sikom v'lo sitor, ואהבת לרעך כמוך v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha, אל לך לערוך חשבונות מה עשו לך ועד כמה רעו לך Al lecha la'aroch cheshbonos ma asu lach v'ad kama ra'u lach. למה? כי אני השם Lama? Ki Ani Hashem. This series of פסוקים psukim all end on אני השם Ani Hashem. Why? לא תשנא את אחיך, הוכח תוכיח ולא תשא עליו חטא, לא תקום ולא תטור, ואהבת לרעך, אני השם Lo sisna es achicha, hochei'ach tochiach v'lo sisa alav cheit, lo sikom v'lo sitor, v'ahavta l'reiacha, Ani Hashem. Why do the series of פסוקים psukim all end, אני השם Ani Hashem? Because what Hashem is telling you is if you want to have the most harmony in your life, if you want to have the best interpersonal, social experience in this world, אני השם Ani Hashem, live with אמונה emunah. אמונה Emunah, it's a message for tomorrow morning for the אמונה שיעור emunah shiur. אמונה Emunah will make you the most popular, most social, most harmonious, most peaceful, most happy person. Why? Because you're not filled with anger, resentment, פאַרביסן farbissen, and misery. I don't talk to this one, I'm angry at that one, I can't be seated next to this one, don't invite me the same שבת as that one, don't put me at the שמחה simcha, the table with this one, don't, why? Because אני השם Ani Hashem. If everything is Hashem, then you say, yes, I don't have to be best friends with that. Yes, that person injured me, I'm going to be compensated and made whole, but it's all from Hashem. So I'm happy and I have harmony and there's peace, because אני השם Ani Hashem. If you live with אמונה emunah, you have harmony with all. And that's why these פסוקים psukim end with אני השם Ani Hashem.ואהבת לרעך כמוך V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha, the אלטער מסלבודקא Alter of Slabodka says, כמוך kamocha. We've again, through the years we've shared many interpretations. ספת אמת Sfas Emes, so many interpretations. This is a new one. The אלטער מסלבודקא Alter of Slabodka said, new from me. The אלטער מסלבודקא Alter of Slabodka says, what does it mean love your neighbor as yourself, כמוך kamocha? כמוך Kamocha means we do things for one of two reasons. Sometimes we do something because it's a מצוה mitzva. Really, I don't want to be doing it, but it's a מצוה mitzva so I have to. And other times it's a מצוה mitzva, but I really want to do it. So I'm doing it, it happens to be it's also a מצוה mitzva. Why do we love ourselves? We love ourselves. We take good care of ourselves. We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, we pamper ourselves, we love ourselves. Why do we love ourselves? Because it's a מצוה mitzva, because the Torah says to do it? No. Because we naturally love ourselves. So ואהבת לרעך v'ahavta l'reiacha when you have to love your neighbor, כמוך kamocha. Don't just love them because it's a מצוה mitzva, love them the same way you so easily loved yourself whether it's a מצוה mitzva or not. That's how the אלטער מסלבודקא Alter of Slabodka understands כמוך kamocha. כמוך Kamocha means, don't do it just because it's a מצוה mitzva, just like you don't love yourself only because it's a מצוה mitzva. Love them the way you love you that comes so easily, not just because it is a a מצוה mitzva. It's a beautiful להבות אש Lehavos Eish on this also, but we are running out of time. It's a כלל גדול בתורה klal gadol ba'Torah. Why is it a כלל גדול klal gadol? Why is this the core principle in the Torah? What should we end with? We'll end with מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva sakum. I had some old אוצר פלאות התורה Otzar Pelaos HaTorah I wanted to get into ערלה orlah. You can't eat fruit the first three years. This is the מקור makor for those who have the מנהג minhag of an אפשערן upsherin. You don't cut the boy's hair the first three years, just like the fruit of the tree you don't cut the first three years. That's when we first put a יאמיקא yamaka, that's when we first teach the אלף-בית alef-beis, and and, and that's when we first teach... no? What do we teach? We put the ציצית tzitzis on them and we teach them to say מה טובו Ma Tovu. What do we teach them to say? No? You all haven't had an upsherin in a long time. A lot of help you are. Anyway, but we don't have time to go through this. Very interesting. But מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum, let's just end with מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum. פרק יט פסוק לב Perek yud tes pasuk lamed beis. תורה ציוה לנו משה מורשה קהילת יעקב Torah tziva lanu Moshe, morasha kehilas Yaakov. Tonight. matter with you people. פרק יט פסוק לב Perek Yud Tet, Pasuk Lamed Beis. Page 664. מפני שיבה תקום והדרת פני זקן ויראת מאלקיך אני ה' Mipnei seiva takum v'hadarta pnei zaken v'yareisa me'elokecha ani Hashem. In the presence of an old person you should rise, you should honor the presence of a sage, and you should revere your God, אני השם Ani Hashem. מפני שיבה תקום Mipnei seiva takum. The עוז והדר לבושה Oz v'Hadar Levusha, a wonderful ספר sefer that we spent a lot of time on last year, the last couple years, but we didn't get to some of this. מפני שיבה תקום Mipnei seiva takum. He has the whole idea. How do you define this שיבה seiva? מפני שיבה תקום Mipnei seiva takum. Standing up for the שיבה seiva. So this מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum is, what if you have a young person whose hair prematurely turned white? Someone young like me. You haven't reached the age of זקנה zikna, of שיבה seiva. You're 49 years old, but the job made you white at a young age. So do you qualify מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum? Is the שיבה seiva defined by age or by appearance? One interesting thing. גר שנתגייר בזקנותו Ger shenisgayer b'ziknuso. So we know the הלכה halacha is גר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי ger shenisgayer k'katan she'nolad dami. A convert is as if they're born again. So, an 85-year-old converts. Do you not have to get up for him because he's only one day old? He's one year old? Or do you count in determining his age that you have to stand for him even the years that preceded the conversion? How do you calculate? Believe it or not, the שואל ומשיב Shoel u'Meishiv in the יד שאול Yad Shaul had a ספק safek about this שאלה shayla. גר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי Ger shenisgayer k'katan she'nolad dami, when does the clock start on calculating מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum for them? Fascinating, different insights into מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum. You have to stand. The only time I ever see this הלכה halacha followed is, when do you ever see this הלכה halacha followed? Ever? A wedding, the חופה chuppah. When the grandparents walk down the aisle, this new מנהג minhag started a couple years ago. Everybody stands for the grandparents when they walk down the aisle. And I say, it's a beautiful thing that we're doing that. You probably shouldn't elbow that same grandparent at the sushi station at the shmorg trying to get ahead of him. At the shmorg, you almost killed that grandparent trying to get to the stuffed cabbage, trying to get to the carving, trying to get to the charcuterie. Now, all of a sudden at the חופה chuppah, everybody stand. It's like calisthenics. You used to just stand for the חתן וכלה chasan v'kallah. Now the whole, you're standing, you're sitting, you're standing, you're sitting, you're standing, you're sitting. ברוך השם Baruch Hashem, כן אין הרע kein ayin hara, the grandparents, the great-grandparents. מפני שיבה Mipnei seiva, it's a beautiful thing that we've adopted observing it there. We should keep it in other contexts too. On the bus in Israel, you stand up, מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum. Anyway, at the shmorg, please go ahead, מפני שיבה תקום mipnei seiva takum, והדרת פני זקן v'hadarta pnei zaken. But we'll end with this. The אמרות טהורות Amros Tehoros, the הרב הגאון רבי משה ריבקא HaRav HaGaon Reb Moshe Rivka, quotes מפני שיבה mipnei seiva, בימי הנעורים קודם הגיעך לשנות השיבה תקום לעבודת השם יתברך לסניי כהם כראוי, על ידי והדרת פני זקן, תדר גם בשנות הזקנה שיהיו גם כן מהודרים bimei ha'neurim kodem hagiacha lishnos ha'seiva takum l'avodas Hashem yisborach lesnai kahem k'raui, al yedei v'hadarta pnei zaken, tadar gam bishnos ha'zikna she'yihyu gam kein me'hudarim. When you're young, in your youth, before you get to the older age, תקום takum, in your youth with your strength, be committed to live a life of following השם Hashem. והדרת פני זקן V'hadarta pnei zaken, in the way that you're honoring your future self, your older self. I wish I knew this מקור makor last שבת שובה Shabbos Shuva when our whole שבת שובה דרשה Shabbos Shuva drasha was about your future self. This פסוק pasuk is about your future. מפני שיבה תקום והדרת פני זקן Mipnei seiva takum v'hadarta pnei zaken. Live for your future self. והדרת פני זקן V'hadarta pnei zaken. Which זקן zaken? Your future self. Don't live with regrets. How can you honor your future self? How can you not look back with regret? If you live your fullest now while you're young. מפני שיבה תקום Mipnei seiva takum, rise, rise to the occasion in your youth, and therefore you'll honor your future self when you'll be older, when you are a זקן zaken. Thank you for coming. Please stay for תהילים Tehillim, and אם ירצה השם im yirtzeh Hashem we'll have בשורות טובות, ישועה besoros tovos, yeshua.
