Transcript
Good morning, בוקר טוב boker tov. It should be a good morning, it should be a בוקר טוב boker tov. עם ישראל Am Yisrael should hear בשורות טובות besoros tovos, please God we should hear good news. Our hostages should be brought home, our soldiers should be home, we should have peace, safety, and security. I want to thank our פרשה parsha series sponsors for the year Beckie and Avi Katz and family in memory of David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת l'ilui nishmas דוד בן מנחם מנוש David ben Menachem Manush. This morning's sponsor as well, today's שיעור shiur, Elie and Yaffa Mendelbaum in memory of her mother, Case Zweig, חיה בת שלמה Chaya bas Shlomo, whose יארצייט yahrzeit is today. Was an amazing mother and grandmother. She is sorely missed. Her נשמה neshama should have an עליה aliyah. By Stasha and Janusz Jacobs in observance of the 10th יארצייט yahrzeit of his beloved father שמחה גרשם בן יצחק Simcha Gershom ben Yitzchak, whose נשמה neshama should have an עליה aliyah as well. So thank you to our generous sponsors.Quick reminder, immediately following the שיעור shiur, as always, we invite and encourage you to stay. We'll divide all of ספר תהילים Sefer Tehillim several times within just a few minutes. The more of you stay, we can complete the entire book of תהילים Tehillim more than once, a tremendous merit. It's a little, small, tiny ask of us. Stay just a couple minutes afterwards. If you've not yet hung an Israeli flag and an American flag on your cars, please do. Make a statement everywhere you go that you stand with Israel, the US-Israel relationship. And lastly, a reminder, this מוצאי שבת Motzei Shabbos we have the privilege of welcoming back Dr. Erica Brown, the Vice Provost and of Values and Leadership, inaugural director of the Rabbi Sacks Center for Values and Leadership at Yeshiva University. An amazing speaker, an amazing woman, Dr. Erica Brown, this מוצאי שבת Motzei Shabbos at 8:30 p.m. right here in this very same place. So, please join us this מוצאי שבת Motzei Shabbos.Please forgive me for wearing this fleece. I'm cold. It's very cold. If you'd like coffee or tea, it's in the back. It can warm you because in Florida, we don't have heat inside, so it's cold. When it's like in the 60s, it's just torturous. Okay. פרשת ויגש Parshas Vayigash page 250 in the ArtScroll Stone חומש Chumash. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, ויאמר בי אדני vayomer bi adoni. Our פרשה parsha picks up where last week left off, and we are continuing this incredible storyline that even though we know the way it ends, and I say this every year, nevertheless, we are at the edge of our seat. We're reading with tremendous curiosity, with tremendous eagerness, with tremendous tension to find out how the story unfolds. יוסף Yosef has orchestrated the entire order of events to both make his dreams come true as well to enable his brothers to do תשובה teshuva, the opportunity to correct and to not repeat where they went wrong with him. Amazingly magnanimous, generous, and gracious of him, rather than seek revenge, rather than want to put them in their place, יוסף Yosef wants to give them an opportunity to be the brothers he always dreamt and hoped and wished they would be. And that's how our פרשה parsha begins. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda. יהודה Yehuda steps up, יהודה Yehuda steps out, יהודה Yehuda approaches, something he had never done for יוסף Yosef, nor had anyone else. And now יוסף Yosef had successfully orchestrated events so much so that יהודה Yehuda behaves in the way that יוסף Yosef always wanted. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, יהודה Yehuda approached him, and he said בי אדני bi adoni, please, my lord, my master. ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדני yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei adoni, can I speak to you? Can I approach the bench? Can I speak freely? ואל יחר אפך בעבדך v'al yichar apcha b'avdecha, please, don't get angry, don't be frustrated, כי כמוך כפרעה ki chamocha k'Pharaoh, for you are like Pharaoh.We begin with the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel. We've been learning the beautiful תורה Torah of רב שמואל ברנבוים Rav Shmuel Berenbaum, the ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir Brooklyn. He quotes רש״י Rashi. כי כמוך כפרעה ki chamocha k'Pharaoh. חשוב אתה בעיני כמלך זה פשוטו Chashuv ata b'einai k'melech, zeh pshuto. Simple understanding is, you are like who is great unto you like Pharaoh. יוסף Yosef, you're the viceroy of Egypt. יוסף Yosef, you are an incredibly powerful man. You are in an incredibly powerful position. Can I approach the bench? Can I confide? Can I speak to you freely? Can I appeal to you? Do I have to fear for my life? Or can I confront you? לכאורה יש לחקור אומר התפארת שמואל L'chora yesh lachkor, omer haTiferes Shmuel, I don't understand למה אמר יהודה ליוסף שהוא חשוב בעיניו כפרעה lama amar Yehuda l'Yosef she'hu chashuv b'einav k'Pharaoh, והרי בפסוק הבא הוא מתחיל את הטענות על יוסף v'harei b'pasuk haba hu matchil et hatanos al Yosef. אדני שאל את עבדיו Adoni sha'al es avadav מתחילה בעלותינו m'tchila b'aloseinu. Yehuda's about to unload on Yosef. He's about to level all of his grievances, all of his complaints. He's about to unload on Yosef. So he introduces with a little flattery? Ooh, you are so great, there's no one like you like other than Pharaoh. Pharaoh is the strongest, Pharaoh is the emperor, you're the second in command. There's no one like you. Now that I told you that, now that I flattered you, now that I've positioned you, now let me tell you all my problems with you. אם כן איך אמר לו יהודה עכשיו שהוא חשוב בעיניו כפרעה im kein, eich amar lo Yehuda achshav she'hu chashuv b'einav k'Pharaoh? You're so חשוב chashuv to me. You're so significant. You're so strong. You're so important. Now let me tell you everything you do wrong. ומיד אחר כך הוא תוען עליו שנוהג כאדם פחות u'miyad achar kach hu to'en alav shenoheg k'adam pachus. And now he's going to do the opposite of treat him like somebody חשוב chashuv. What's going on? You know it reminds me, anytime anyone ever says, Rabbi, with all due respect. You know what's going to come next has no respect. Whenever the introduction, whenever the words with all due respect, you know what's coming next. So, כי כמוך כפרעה ki chamocha k'Pharaoh, great יוסף Yosef, with all due respect, no one's great like you other than Pharaoh. Now let me tell you all the things that you do wrong. ויש לומר אומר התפארת שמואל v'yesh lomar omer haTiferes Shmuel, שמבואר כאן יסוד גדול בהנהגה she'mevoar kan yesod gadol b'hanhaga. There's an incredibly important lesson for all of us interpersonally, not only when we speak to powerful leaders, not only when we advocate and lobby for the things that matter most, but also for the people closest to us we're most comfortable and familiar with. This is an incredibly important lesson, a פרשה parsha perspective for the relationships of our lives. שאף על פי שליהודה היו הרבה טענות על הנהגות יוסף she'af al pi she'l'Yehuda hayu harbeh ta'anos al hanhagos Yosef, even though Yehuda had many reasonable, legitimate arguments, complaints, טענות ta'anos on Yosef, ולא סתם טענות אלא טענות קשות ביותר v'lo stam ta'anos ela ta'anos kashos b'yoser. And these aren't סתם stam little insignificant things, these are meaningful, these are דברים העומדים ברומו של עולם dvarim ha'omdim b'rumo shel olam. He's going to challenge יוסף Yosef on very significant things. For example, למה חשדתם למרגלים lama chashadtem l'meraglim, why were you suspicious of us that we were spies? And why did you place money and falsely accuse us? And why did you ask about our families? And why did you place this cup? And why were you trying to position to take one of us as a slave? אם כל זה im kol zeh, התנהג עמו בדרך כבוד hitnaheg imo b'derech kavod, כמו שראוי להתנהג עם מלך k'mo she'raui l'hitnaheg im melech. The important powerful lesson here is, יהודה Yehuda was not positioning יוסף Yosef, flattering יוסף Yosef, he was not looking up to יוסף Yosef in a way that he would then get what he wanted or he could speak to him how he wanted. The 'with all due respect' was not said as a license to then speak with no respect. What he was trying to do was distinguish. On the one hand, יוסף Yosef you the person, you your position, I admire, I respect, I honor, but I will now honorably and respectfully express my concerns, my legitimate criticisms. ולא לבטל את חשיבותו לעשותו כמי שאינו שווה כלום v'lo l'vatel es chashivuso la'asoso k'mi she'eino shaveh klum, אלא חשיבותו לחוד וטענותיו לחוד ela chashivuso l'chud v'ta'anosav l'chud. What we read or see as contradictory, if you really honor and love and respect, then you would never complain, you would never criticize. Who says? Criticisms are part of life, constructive, respectful, with honor, with dignity. When they are offered and communicated in a way which compromises, in a way that lacks respect and honor and dignity, there is a problem. But a person can maintain their חשיבות chashivus. On the one hand, I have respect and I have admiration, and on the other hand, I want to bring with you in a constructive fashion a concern I have, a question I have. וזהו היסוד הגדול הנלמד מיוסף הצדיק v'zehu ha'yesod ha'gadol ha'nilmad m'Yosef ha'tzaddik, הגם שמכרו והיה לו טענות קשות ביותר עליהם hagam she'machru v'haya lo ta'anos kashos b'yoser aleihem, אם כל זה הוא לא ביטל את חשיבותם im kol zeh hu lo bitel es chashivusam. And Yosef reciprocates the exact same quality. Because even though Yosef, whose טענות ta'anos, whose complaints against his brothers rise at least to the level of their complaints against him, after all, you marginalized, you dismissed, you tried to kill me, you threw me in a pit, you sold me into slavery, you ignored me for 22 years. Yosef's complaints are as legitimate as anyone else's. But Yosef does not use the complaints to entirely, entirely dismiss the entire relationship, to see his brothers as irredeemable, as having no honor, no worthiness, to be entirely lacking anything worthy of admiring. Yosef is able like his brothers were towards him to distinguish between the חשיבות chashivus on the one hand, there is the person, and there is the message that I want to communicate. Yosef reciprocates this same exact quality back to, and we see כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael too, פרשת חקת Parshas Chukas says the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel, ונפשנו קצה בלחם הקלוקל v'nafsheinu katza b'lechem ha'klokel. When it came to the מן man, you can have a complaint. When your complaint clouds your vision, when the complaint obfuscates, the complaint creates this obstacle that deprives you and denies you of the ability to connect with the other person in any sense of dignity or honor, then it's not okay. But when you can speak respectfully and continue to see the good and admire and have a dignified relationship, but offer a constructive criticism, that, so it's not a contradiction, says the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel. וזהו יסוד בחיים בעניין שלום בית v'zehu yesod b'chaim b'inyan shalom bayis, ובעניין בן אדם לחברו u'v'inyan bein adam l'chaveiro. And this is a critical thing to know when it comes to peace in our homes, harmony in marriage, parenting and children, friendships and colleagues. אם יש לאדם טענה על האחר im yesh l'adam ta'ana al ha'acher, if you have a criticism, צריך לומר רק את הטענה שיש לו tzarich lomar rak es ha'ta'ana she'yesh lo, שיוכל לסדר את הדבר she'yuchal l'sader es ha'davar. Just offer the criticism, the problem that can have a solution, the criticism in a constructive way. אבל לא יוסיף על הטענות שאר חסרונות או טענות אחרים aval lo yosif al ha'ta'anos shear chesronos o ta'anos acheirim. But don't pile on, and don't broaden out, and don't magnify it, and don't exaggerate it, and don't bring up everything of all of history. Don't go back in time. Just express that particular and specific issue in a constructive fashion. Dr. John Gottman who's spoken here, a world, the world authority on healthy marriages, on great marriages, he says, and I love this expression: Every time a couple has a fight, with every fight, there was a conversation that needed to happen and the fight happened instead. What was the catalyst, what stimulated or provoked that fight? Somebody was frustrated, upset, disappointed, resentful, hurt, injured, and there was a conversation that needed to happen, a legitimate conversation that needed to happen. But when a fight, when it escalates, when it magnifies, 'You always, you're just like your mother, you're just like your family, you're the worst since I remember for the last 30 years, 17 times on this day, it's and these times and I have a whole spreadsheet of exact...' then instead of having the conversation in a constructive fashion, the fight happens instead. Ad hominem, personal attacks, personal criticism, instead of bringing up the issue and a constructive solution and resolution and a repair and a closeness, instead further damage, sabotage happens instead. Says Gottman, with every fight, there was a conversation that needed to happen and the fight happened instead. וזהו יסוד גדול בחינוך הבנים והתלמידים v'zehu yesod gadol b'chinuch ha'banim v'ha'talmidim. He says it's also true when it comes to our children. אם מוצאים איזה עוולה כשנותנים להם מוסר im motzim eizeh avla k'shenosnim lahem musar, if our children make a mistake, cross a line, come up short, are we critical of the particular choice or action? Do we hold them to higher esteem? Do we tell them that's beneath you, that's below you, what you're capable of? Or do we say, you're always a clown, you're an underachiever, why do you do such stupid things? Why do you always act so silly? Why are you so impossible? Why are you... Because when we make it a character attack, then they'll just fulfill that prophecy of them, versus when we separate out the action. So that, and he goes on here but I want to move on in the פרשה parsha, he goes on and says this is exactly what יהודה Yehuda is doing strategically so well. First he says כי כמוך כפרעה ki chamocha k'Pharaoh. I admire you, I respect you, I want to have a relationship with you. There's a platform and a foundation, there's a baseline of respect. But now I'd like to bring some things to your attention that I need some clarification on. Some things that are troubling, some things that don't make sense, some criticism that is constructive that I want to do to advance our relationship, not sabotage it or hurt it. And here יהודה Yehuda is modeling for us in marriage, in parenting, in business, and in life the way to not attack a character, to not offer ad hominem attacks, to not dismiss the entire person, but to be able to recognize and see the good and the great and the redemptive in them, and at the same time be able to positively and constructively have the conversation rather than escalate the fight. What an important message.He then has a second piece in the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel. רש״י Rashi says דבר אחר davar acher. מה פרעה גוזר ואינו מקיים, מבטיח ואינו עושה, אף אתה כן Ma Pharaoh gozer v'eino mekayem, mavtiach v'eino oseh, af ata kein. This is actually not a recognition of admiration, second interpretation of רש״י Rashi is maybe it's a criticism of יהודה Yehuda. He says just like Pharaoh decrees and doesn't fulfill, he makes a promise and comes up short, you're no different. What happened over here? What's going on? You made a promise. If we bring our brother down and everything's okay and we can go back, and you're not fulfilling the promise. You're just like Pharaoh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What did Pharaoh do wrong? Why is Yehuda throwing Pharaoh under the bus? If you're not happy with the way Yosef's been treating you, confront Yosef. Why do you have to invoke Pharaoh? What are you invoking Pharaoh? Again, if you want to destroy a relationship in a fight with a with a spouse, then the number one way you could do that is say, you're just like your mother. You're just like your father. You're just like your family. Because the person will say, 'You know what? You're right. I'm just like them. They're terrible, I'm terrible. We all really need to improve. Thank you for pointing that out. I learned so much from that.' That happens exactly never times. What happens instead, you're bringing my mother into this? You're bringing my father, you're bringing my grandparents, you're bringing my siblings into this? Are you out of your mind? You want to talk about parents? Let's talk about your parents. It's the unraveling of a relationship. So asks the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel, what's Yehuda doing over here? Yosef, you don't fulfill your promises. And you know who you're just like? You're the number two, you're just like your boss Pharaoh. He also doesn't fulfill his promises. What's he doing over here? What did Pharaoh ever do wrong? What kind of a strategy is this? You're trying to appeal to Yosef to let your brother Binyamin go home with you. You're trying to resolve a situation. So what are you pouring fuel on the fire? Why are you making it worse by invoking Pharaoh? And listen to what the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel says. יש לומר Yesh lomar... דיני בנוסח הוידוי אנו אומרים dinei b'nusach ha'vidui anu omrim... on the ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim in our וידוי vidui... This Friday עשרה בטבת Asarah b'Teves, none of us want to accept that it's going to be a fast day this Friday, but it's a fast day. We want משיח Mashiach to come for many reasons before then, but that's just one more. So in סליחות slichos what do we say? אבל אנחנו ואבותינו חטאנו aval anachnu va'avoseinu chatanu. אלקינו ואלקי אבותינו Elokeinu v'Elokei avoseinu, מחל mechol, forgive us, סלח slach, forgiveness, כפרה kapara, סליחה slicha, everything. Why? Because we have to admit, but you know, we don't want to, but what can we do? We have to admit. We and our parents have really come up short. And your parents are looking at you saying, 'Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want to ask for forgiveness? This is your admission and your confession. Lovely. What are you bringing me into this?' Have you not felt guilty every time you say סליחות slichos? I feel guilty. אבל אנחנו ואבותינו חטאנו Aval anachnu va'avoseinu chatanu. I feel, my parents, they're wonderful. What do you have to invoke your parents? צריך ביאור הרי זה לכאורה חסרון בכיבוד הורים tzarich biur harei zeh l'chora chisaron b'kibud horim. It's the opposite of כיבוד אב ואם kibud av va'em. You should say my parents, they're wonderful. But me, I got a lot of work to do. What are you throwing your parents under the bus in סליחות slichos? אפילו ביום כיפור אנו מזכירים נוסח זה בכל וידוי ווידוי afilu b'Yom Kippur anu mazkirim nusach zeh b'chol vidui v'vidui. אלא צריכים לומר שהזכרת חטאי אבותינו היא לימוד זכות עלינו ela tzrichim lomar she'hazkaras chet'ei avoseinu hi limud zechus aleinu. The answer is the reason we're evoking them is what we're trying to say in our own defense. שאין אנו אשמים כל כך she'ein anu asheimim kol kach. We're not so guilty. It didn't originate with us. כי שורש חטאינו הוא ממה שאבותינו חטאו ואנו למדנו מהם ki shoresh chata'einu hu m'ma she'avoseinu chatu v'anu lamadnu meihem. השם Hashem, you planted within man a יצר הרע yetzer hara. You gave us a drive, a temptation, a desire. You made us imperfect from the beginning. Our great-great-great grandparents, our great-grandparents, our grandparents, our parents, and we are imperfect. We have inherited imperfection. We've inherited these struggles. We've inherited these challenges. They didn't originate with us. So in our own defense, what we're trying to point out is, it's true I'm not perfect and I'm going to work on it, but it's genetic. It's genetic. ובימים הנוראים שאנו נידונים בבית דין של מעלה ושם דנים כפי בית דין של מטה u'v'yamim ha'noraim she'anu nidonim b'beis din shel ma'ala v'sham danim k'fi beis din shel mata, ובבית דין של מטה יש דין של u'v'beis din shel mata yesh din shel... והצילו העדה והצילו העדה v'hitzilu ha'eida v'hitzilu ha'eida. שצריכים להפוך ללמד זכות על הנידון she'tzrichim la'hafoch l'lamed zechus al ha'nidon. ודאי שאבותינו מסכימים שנשתמש בלימוד זכות לעצמנו vadai she'avoseinu maskimim she'nishtamesh b'limud zechus l'atzmeinu. Our parents, those who are no longer among the living, are looking down and they're rooting for us. They're saying, invoke the genetic argument. We're up here, the בית דין beis din is look, invoke the genetic thing. Blame us. Because we're so concerned and we so want what's right for you, we so want you to get off the hook, we so want your well-being, invoke the genetic thing. We did it too. Our, your grandparents and the great grandparents, turn to the genetic argument. כמו כן לעניינינו k'mo chein l'inyaneinu. That's what's going on over here. יהודה Yehuda בא ללמד זכות על יוסף ba l'lamed zechus al Yosef. Why is this a winning strategy? What he's saying is look, Yosef, you haven't exactly fulfilled your word. I don't blame you. Not your fault. That's how you were mentored. That's what Pharaoh taught you. But if you could now pay it forward and fulfill your word and send Binyamin home, it'd be really great. So Yehuda's not saying it as a criticism or attack, Yehuda's saying it indeed as a strategy to appease and appeal to Yosef. Yosef, you haven't fulfilled your word, but rather than you see that as a criticism of you, know כי כמוך כפרעה ki chamocha k'Pharaoh. After all, where did you learn? Who was your mentor? You learned from Pharaoh. He didn't ever fulfill his word, and therefore we don't hold it against you, but if you wouldn't mind fulfilling your word now, we would greatly appreciate it. That is the two interpretations of the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel. We turn to the אמרות טהורות Amros Tehoros, the רחמסטריווקא רבי Rachmastrivka Rebbe, זצ״ל zatzal. And he quotes a few interpretations here of the opening of the פרשה parsha. We are going to get past the first פסוק pasuk. We could do 15 שיעורים shiurim on the first פסוק pasuk. I love this first פסוק pasuk. Notice I'm not telling you my favorite דבר תורה dvar Torah about the three ויגש's Vayigash's in the תורה Torah and the רוקח Rokeach quoted by the רמ״א Rama, the three steps that we take forward to start our עמידה amida are the three correspond with the three ויגש's Vayigash's. Three people stepped forward, and we imitate those three people when we take three steps forward to begin each and every עמידה amida. That's the origin of it. The רמ״א Rama quotes the רוקח Rokeach, but I'm not telling you that דבר תורה dvar Torah. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda. ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני Yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei adoni. Says the מדרש Midrash, כמה פירושים בהגשה זו kama peirushim b'hagasha zu. What's יהודה Yehuda ויגש vayigash, he's approaching? I point this out every year, but you know why we start the פרשה parsha with all these דברי תורה divrei Torah on the word ויגש vayigash? Because you haven't looked at the פרשה parsha since last שבת Shabbos. Maybe since last פרשה parsha class. But if you read the פרשה parsha last week and this week in succession, if you simply turn back a page and then turn to this page, you will realize Yehuda is not initiating a new conversation. He is in the middle of a conversation with Yosef. So when he says ויגש אליו יהודה vayigash eilav Yehuda, when he approaches and he says, 'ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני Yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei adoni, is it okay if I say something?' Yeah, we're in the middle of talking. Yeah, this is our meeting. What do you need permission now? What are you asking? So the מדרש Midrash offers several interpretations of why Yehuda needs to ask to approach and ask permission to speak when he's already in the middle of speaking. So the מדרש Midrash says רבי יהודה אומר הגשה למלחמה Rabbi Yehuda omer hagasha l'milchama. that ויגש vayigash was, mm, ready to fight. He's ready to brawl, fisticuffs. Yehuda is ready to step up and take it on the chin to defend a brother. Now you can understand why Yosef was no longer able to hold back. 22 years, 22 years he said the brothers I longed for, I wished I had. The brothers who abandoned me, neglected me, marginalized me, dismissed me, excluded me. I want to hope, I want to believe that they're different. How will I know? I need to put them in exactly the same circumstance in order to test whether they've done תשובה גמורה teshuva gemura, complete repentance. How will I do that? I'll put them in a position where they'll either abandon another brother. And what's the closest brother to me? There's only one other brother who has not only the same father but the same mother. And who's that? בנימין Binyamin. So the closest I can get to putting them in the same circumstances as me is the only other brother that has the same father and the same mother. See whether they will neglect and abandon him as they did me, or whether ויגש vayigash, whether they'll step up. And what does he witness? He sees Yehuda step up. First למלחמה l'milchama, he's ready to fight. רבי נחמיה אומר הגשה לפיוס Rabbi Nechemya omer hagasha l'piyus. He comes and he steps forward to appeal to him. He comes and he steps forward to whisper, to דברים היוצאים מן הלב dvarim ha'yotzim min ha'lev, to speak heart to heart. ורבנן אמרי הגשה לתפילה v'rabanan amrei hagasha l'tefila. He stepped forward not really about Yosef, but ויגש אליו יהודה vayigash eilav Yehuda, יהודה Yehuda stepped forward for what? To דאווענען daven. In that moment, it may have appeared he was talking to Yosef, but to whom was Yehuda really addressing his words? To השם Hashem. He was דאווענען davening. This is an incredible precedent and model for us. Sometimes in life, you're talking to the doctor, the surgeon, but you're really talking to השם Hashem. You're talking to the lawyer or judge, you're really talking to השם Hashem. You're talking to your broker, but you're really asking and talking to השם Hashem. Really in life, you're talking, it seems to the other person, but even that conversation with the person could be to the person who's physically before you, but behind them, above them, beyond them, you're also using what seems that mundane conversation between people is also an expression of a conversation with השם Hashem. ומביא מהבעל שם טוב u'mevi me'Baal Shem Tov, את הבעל שם טוב זצ\"ל es ha'Baal Shem Tov zatzal. On the פסוק pasuk, תפילה לעני כי יעטוף tefila l'ani ki ya'atof, ולפני השם ישפוך שיחו v'lifnei Hashem yishpoch sicho. פסוק בתהלים פרק ק״ב Pasuk b'Tehillim perek kuf beis. It's a very beautiful פסוק pasuk. מרדכי בן דוד Mordechai Ben David has a beautiful song on these words. תפילה לעני כי יעטוף Tefila l'ani ki ya'atof, the תפילה tefila of a impoverished person כי יעטוף ki ya'atof, when they are, when they are כי יעטוף ki ya'atof, when they are עטיפה atifa, when their head is wrapped. לפני השם ישפוך שיחו lifnei Hashem yishpoch sicho. Before השם Hashem... This indigent, impoverished, underprivileged person in a moment of crisis, before whom do they pour out their שיחה sicha, their conversation? They're talking to השם Hashem. So the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov on this פסוק pasuk says the following: משל למלך שעשה יום שמחה שלו mashal l'melech she'asa yom simcha shelo. This is a משל mashal of a king. A king on the day of his joy, שביום זה כל מי שיבוא לפניו לאיזה בקשה, ימלא לו את בקשתו she'b'yom zeh kol mi she'yavo l'fanav l'eizeh bakasha, yemaleh lo es bakashaso. The king proclaims in his kingdom, 'Oh, my daughter's wedding today, my daughter's wedding. So anyone who can meet with me, any request you have of me, I will fulfill.' We don't have kings today, but supposedly there are other demographics who have this practice on the day of their daughter's wedding, members of the mafia. That any request you have of me, I will fulfill. Today, I want to, I'm so joyous, I'm so happy, I want to share and spread the happiness. Whatever you want, I say yes to. כל אנשי המדינה באו לבקש ממנו kol anshei ha'medina ba'u l'vakesh mimenu. So one by one they line up. And this one says, could you lend me some money? This one says, can you pay my debt? This one says, can you get me out of this crisis, this circumstance? This one says, can you make me this connection? This one says, can you give me this honor? This one comes, and then the last one comes. And what does he say? He says, שיתן לו רשות לבוא תמיד אל היכל המלך ולדבר עם המלך כל מה שירצה she'yiten lo reshus lavo tamid el heichal ha'melech u'l'daber im ha'melech kol ma she'yirtzeh. My one request is that I can come and make requests whenever I need. Brilliant. חז״ל Chazal went with the king משל mashal. So, and what's the brilliant one say? The brilliant request of the brilliant one is, my one request is that I can come make requests whenever I want. ונהנה המלך מאוד ממציאות הבקשה v'nehna ha'melech me'od mimtzius ha'bakasha. ונתן לו כפי מה שביקש v'nasan lo k'fi ma she'bakesh. And the king is thrilled. Brilliant. Absolutely. I'm happy to fulfill it. ונםצא שאחר כך יכול לבוא בכל עת אל המלך ולדבר עמו v'nimtza she'achar kach yachol lavo b'chol eis el ha'melech u'l'daber imo, אבל על הכלום יכול לבקש מהם כל מה שירצה aval al ha'klum yachol l'vakesh meihem kol ma she'yirtzeh, ונמצא שבקשתו נכלל בו כל סוגי הבקשות v'nimtza she'bakashaso nichlal bo kol sugei ha'bakashos. And that's what the פסוק pasuk of the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov meant. בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov said that's the פסוק pasuk of דוד המלך David HaMelech. תפילה לעני כי יעטוף tefila l'ani ki ya'atof, איזו תפילה שהיא עוטפת וכוללת בו כל מיני הבקשות eizo tefila she'hi otefes v'koleles bo kol minei ha'bakashos? What is the תפילה לעני כי יעטוף tefila l'ani ki ya'atof, which is the all-encompassing תפילה tefila that the עני ani, that in that moment of crisis, that moment of urgency, which is the all-encompassing תפילה tefila you should offer? The תפילה tefila is לפני השם ישפוך שיחו lifnei Hashem yishpoch sicho. King השם Hashem, my תפילה tefila in my moment of crisis is that I can come anytime to pour out my heart, to ask of anything. התולדות Ha'Toldos, the תולדות Toldos who was the תלמיד talmid of the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov who recorded most of his teachings that we have, מפרש שם באריכות את עניין זה והוא עמוק עמוק mefaresh sham b'arichus es inyan zeh v'hu amok amok. Very, very deep. שעיקר כוונתנו בתפילותינו צריך להיות כלפי מעלה, כלפי שמיים she'ikar kavanasenu b'tfiloseinu tzarich lihiyos klapei ma'ala, klapei shamayim. The core of all of our תפילה tefila, for תפילה tefila to be most effective, efficacious, for תפילה tefila to work the most powerfully, the most potently, the best, our תפילה tefila should not be about us. השם Hashem, help me heal and become better physically, mentally, emotionally, why? Because if I'm healthy and well, I can best serve you. השם Hashem, help me pay off my debt, help me come into money, help me earn more, why? Because if I'm not worried about money, I can best serve you. השם Hashem, help me have children... everything should be not about us, but if that request is fulfilled, I am best positioned to live a mission-driven, purpose-driven life that I can serve you. And that's what it means our פסוק pasuk coming back to פרשת ויגש Parshas Vayigash. ויגש אליו יהודה שהוא בא להתפלל אל השם יתברך Vayigash eilav Yehuda she'hu ba l'hispallel el Hashem yisbarach. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, the third interpretation, that of the רבנן Rabanan. רבי יהודה Rabbi Yehuda said he came ready to fight, war. רבי נחמיה Rabbi Nechemya said he came לפיוס l'piyus, ready to appease, sweet, to appeal. And the רבנן Rabanan said he came, he wasn't talking to Yosef at all. He came for תפילה tefila. And what does that mean in the פסוק pasuk? ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, בא להתפלל אל השם יתברך ba l'hispallel el Hashem Yisbarach. ויאמר בי אדני Vayomer bi adoni, שביקש מאת השם יתברך דבר זה בעצמו she'bikesh mei'es Hashem yisbarach davar zeh b'atzmo, שידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדני she'yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei adoni. ויגש אליו Vayigash eilav, he came close to השם Hashem and what was his request? 'ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני Yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei adoni'. His request was, 'Can I speak to you whenever I want?' תמיד בכל עת שארצה tamid b'chol eis she'ertzeh, whenever I want, whenever I want. And this is what we say, 'השם שפתי תפתח ופי יגיד תהילתך Hashem sfasi tiftach u'fi yagid tehilasecha'. We introduce and open every עמידה amida that we say with השם Hashem, give me the words, give me the language. Let it flow, let it come comfortably. Let it come easily. Let me connect. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, הגשה הנצרכת לתפילה hagasha ha'nitzreches l'tefila, וגם יהודה הוא לשון הודאה v'gam Yehuda hu lashon hoda'ah. ומבקשים בי אדוני ידבר נא עבדך דבר u'mevakshim bi adoni yedaber na avdcha davar, שבאיזה דיבור התפילה וההודאה יהיה כוח אדוני she'b'eizeh dibur ha'tefila v'ha'hoda'ah yiyeh koach adoni, ועל ידי זה יכול להתפלל בכוונה של לב v'al yedei zeh yuchal l'hispallel b'kavanas ha'lev. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda. We have to approach השם Hashem with what? יהודה Yehuda. יהודה Yehuda, what's the root of the word of the name יהודה Yehuda? הודאה Hoda'ah, with gratitude. When you approach with gratitude, now you can come with criticism. Another lesson from the beginning of our פרשה parsha. It connects a little bit to the רב ברנבוים Rav Berenbaum. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, of course the פסוק pasuk is talking about the person, the name, but it is also communicating ויגש אליו vayigash eilav if we come יהודה Yehuda with an attitude of הודאה hoda'ah, then ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei adoni. Now, there will be open ears. Now, there'll be more acceptance to be able to communicate the other things that need to be communicated. פסוק פרק מ\"ד, פסוק ח' pasuk perek mem-daled, pasuk ches. Moving along.So then he says, אדוני שאל את עבדיו לאמור היש לכם אב או אח Adoni sha'al es avadav leimor ha'yesh lachem av o ach. You asked us, do we have a father or a brother? ונאמר אל אדוני יש לנו אב זקן וילד זקונים קטן V'nomar el adoni yesh lanu av zaken v'yeled zekunim katan. We said, yeah, we have a father, he's an old man, וילד זקונים קטן v'yeled zekunim katan, he has a, a יילוד זקונים yelud zekunim, he has a young child. ואחיו מת v'achiv meis, and our brother, what happened to him? He died. We caught this? What's Yehuda doing? A little something called lying. We're not so cool with that. ואחיו מת v'achiv meis. What has he said until now? He used a different word. ואחיו איננו v'achiv einenu, and our brother is not among us. He's no longer among us. Now no longer among us, at least there's some leeway to interpret different ways. He's no longer among us. Among us, however you want to take it. There's some leeway, flexibility. אחיו מת Achiv meis is a שקר sheker, it's simply not true. ויהודה על אביו ואמו לאמו ואביו אהבו Vayigash Yehuda vayedaber el aviv v'imo l'imo v'aviv aheivo. He's gone, he's no longer here, our brother. He alone is left from his mother and his father loves him, meaning בנימין Binyamin is the last one left. רש\"י Rashi says, ואחיו מת מפני היראה היה מוציא דבר שקר מפיו v'achiv meis mipnei ha'yirah haya motzi davar sheker mipiv. Rashi was also bothered. You think you're just bothered? I'm bothered. If we're bothered, it's a good chance Rashi was bothered. Rashi was bothered and he says, what's going on over here? Yehuda an outright lie? ואחיו מת v'achiv meis, our brother's dead? מפני היראה mipnei ha'yirah, he was afraid. He was afraid. Sometimes משנה מפני השלום meshaneh mipnei hashalom, sometimes you're allowed to bend the truth in order to save your life. Like when your wife says, how do I look in this outfit? In order to save your life. I'm just joking. But sometimes, משנה מפני השלום meshaneh mipnei hashalom. Sometimes you're allowed to bend the truth. Not really, is truth absolute or relative? כלה נאה וחסודה Kallah na'ah v'chasudah, now is not the time, we could speak for hours of מראה מקומות mareh mekomos on that. Right, when the חז\"ל chassan says, no what do you think of my כלה kallah? Isn't she beautiful? So the גמרא Gemara's a מחלוקת machlokes. בית שמאי Beis Shammai said you can't lie, you gotta tell it like it is. No, she's not. You could do better. But בית הלל Beis Hillel says, yeah. She's magnificent, she's sweet, she's beautiful. You find, you think she's beautiful? She's beautiful. Absolutely. Admirable, beautiful, incredible, magnificent, stunning. Because truth, is truth absolute, is it relative? When do we have a complete fidelity? When are you allowed to bend it? Rashi says מפני היראה mipnei ha'yirah. Yehuda was afraid for his life, his brother's lives, his father back home's life. So he realizes extreme circumstances call for extreme behaviors. So מוציא דבר שקר מפיו motzi davar sheker mipiv. אמר אם אומר לו שהוא קיים, יאמר הביאוהו אצלי Amar im omar lo she'hu kayam, yomar havi'uhu etzli. Now, why? If he says, yeah, there's one more brother, I have to be honest, the איננו einenu, if Yosef calls him out on the, you've pointed out your brother's איננו einenu. Could you elaborate? What do you mean by that? He's no longer among us, where is he? And if Yehuda would be honest, then he'd say, go get him. Go bring him.Now says Rav Druk in his new sefer אשר אין בידינו כלל השגה בדרגתם הגבוה של האחים הקדושים Asher ein b'yadeinu klal hasaga b'dargatam hagvoha shel ha'achim hakdoshim. We don't begin to understand. Many of our great rabbis feel the need to give this disclaimer. Anytime the text points out an imperfection, how do we reconcile? The אבות הקדושים Avos HaKdoshim, the שבטי קה Shivtei Kah, they're not like me and you. They're not mere ordinary mortals. So we're very delicate and sensitive in our criticism of them. And Rav Druk here, therefore offers the typical disclaimer. אולם יש נקודה שניתן להתבונן בה מתוך דבריו Ulam yesh nekudah she'nitan l'hitbonein ba m'toch d'varav. But nevertheless, Hashem wasn't worried about it. He points out imperfections all throughout תנ\"ך Tanach. He wasn't worried, and he wants us to find and strike that balance. Don't talk about them like they're you and me, but extract and derive from them lessons that we can learn because there is no one who's perfect. So Rashi points out, אחיו מת achiv meis was a lie. אם נתבונן בדבר ונגלה כי למעשה יהודה מוציא מפיו משפט זה Im nisbonein b'davar v'nigaleh ki l'ma'aseh Yehuda motzi mipiv mishpat zeh, ואחיו מת v'achiv meis, כאשר הוא מדבר על יוסף בעצמו ka'asher hu medaber al Yosef b'atzmo. Now do you understand the irony? Rav Druk is pointing out an incredible irony. Yehuda is leveling a lie against the specific person who would most know it's a lie. ואחיו מת V'achiv meis, our brother is dead, Yehuda says to his living brother, Yosef. עליו הוא מספר כאיש שמת Alav hu mesaper k'ish she'meis. והרי יוסף השומע משפט זה יודע את האמת V'harei Yosef hashomer mishpat zeh yodea et ha'emes. Yosef hears this, says, I'm sorry. אחיו מת Achiv meis? Could you come again? Back up? What was that? אחיו מת Achiv meis? Interesting. Interesting, because Yosef knows that he's right there, and he's alive and well. נמצא שיהודה עומד מול יוסף ומספר לו על עצמו שמת Nimtza she'Yehuda omeid mul Yosef u'mesaper lo al atzmo she'meis. Yehuda is standing opposite Yosef telling Yosef, you're dead. Telling Yosef, I don't know if you heard, but you died. Alfred Nobel, when he read his own obituary that inspired him, after building the greatest mass weapons and that being his legacy, decided he wanted to do something different, something more, and invented the Nobel Prize so many Jews could disproportionately win it. So why? What motivated him to do it? Because he read his own obituary. He read his obituary, his brother had died, but they got confused and they wrote an obituary about him. And he said, I didn't, I don't know if you heard, but you're dead. So that's what's going on. Yehuda says to Yosef, without knowing it's Yosef, אחיו מת achiv meis, you died. Says Rav Druk, you know what you learn from here? Listen to this beautiful lesson. Listen to this powerful lesson. This difficult lesson. למדים אנו מכך כמה השקר הוא דבר שאינו כדאי וכמה יש לנו להתרחק מן השקר. פעמים האדם עומד ומשקר מול האדם שיודע בצורה ודאית וברורה כי דבריו הם דברי שקר. L'meideim anu mikach kama ha'sheker hu davar she'eino k'dai, v'chama yesh lanu l'hisrachek min ha'sheker. P'amim ha'adam omeid u'meshaker mul ha'adam she'yode'a b'tzura vada'is u'vrurah ki d'varav heim divrei sheker. You think this only happened with Yehuda and Yosef? You know how often we bend the truth, we tell a lie, and we so in our own mind don't even realize we're telling a lie anymore, that we're telling a lie to the very person we're talking about, lying about. The people who know the truth more than anyone. In other words, what enables us to lie? There's a cognitive dissonance. We don't really know we're lying. We've convinced ourselves it's the truth. We don't even know we're lying. We're pathological in our lying, so much so we could be standing opposite that person. If we really were sober in realizing how blatant our lie is and how obvious it is to the person that we're lying to and about, we could never lie. We could never lie. אילו היה יודע מיהו זה העומד מולו וכיצד הוא יודע שאין בדבריו כלום, כמה היה מתמלא בושה. Ilu haya yode'a mi hu zeh ha'omeid mulo, v'cheitzad hu yode'a she'ein b'dvarav klum, kama haya mismalei bushah. How ashamed, how embarrassed, how humiliated you would be. ומי יראה האדם עצמו באופן תמידי כמי שעומד מול הבורא עולם, שיודע כל מעשיו ומחשבותיו, כמה יתרחק ויברח מן השקר כמפני האש. V'im yir'eh ha'adam atzmo b'ofen tmidi k'mi she'omeid mul ha'borei olam, she'yode'a kol ma'asav u'machshevosav, kama yisrachek v'yivrach min ha'sheker k'mipnei ha'eish. If Yehuda knew he was standing opposite Yosef, could he say the words, אחיו מת achiv meis? No. Why was he able to say those words? Because he didn't realize he was standing opposite Yosef. So we should live our lives always knowing we're standing opposite Hashem, and he always knows the truth. So you're always standing opposite the one who knows the truth. And just like if Yehuda would have known he was standing opposite Yosef, he never could have said the words, אחיו מת achiv meis. So to we should never ever, ever distort the truth or tell a lie because we are always standing opposite Hashem. A beautiful motivation, inspiration when it comes to, when it comes to honesty and מדבר שקר תרחק midvar sheker tirchak. Let's move to the next perek. Oh, see, I told you we'd be flying. Yehuda makes and advances his entire argument. We've discussed it in the past. Again, you can go online, and you can listen to previous years shiurim. Baruch Hashem, we have many, and each year is different. Each year we offer different interesting divrei Torah. Perek Mem Hei, Pasuk Alef. Turn the page. ולא יכול יוסף להתאפק לכל הנצבים עליו ויקרא הוציאו כל איש מעלי ולא עמד איש אתו בהתודע יוסף אל אחיו. V'lo yachol Yosef l'hisapek l'chol ha'nitzavim alav vayikra hotzi'u chol ish mei'alai v'lo amad ish ito b'hisvada Yosef el echav. Yosef could not restrain himself in the presence of all who stood before him. So he called out, out. I need the room. Clear the room. No one remained with him when he revealed himself, when he made himself be known to his brothers. He wanted and he asked for, he needed the room. Says Rav Druk, continuing in Lavan. יש להבין את הנהגתו של יוסף הצדיק. מה היה הדבר שגרם לו להתגלות לאחיו ולומר אני יוסף. Yesh l'havin es hanhagas Yosef ha'tzaddik. Ma haya hadavar she'garam lo l'hisgalos l'echav v'lomar Ani Yosef. What was the thing that made him right now? This has been going on for a while. The brothers first came down, he sent them back. They came back again. He had meals with them. He put them in prison for three days. He held back Binyamin. He planted the cup. There's a whole drama and a whole saga unfolding. It's been going on for a while. And all that time, Yosef was able to disguise himself. Yosef was able to hold back and withstand his urge to reveal himself. What happened davka right now? What was it right now that לא יכול להתאפק lo yachol l'hisapek? He couldn't do it anymore. What happened? What was it that happened specifically right now? ומה היה הסיבה כי הוא צריך שיכלם בשעת Ve'im ken madua himtin ad l'zman zeh v'lo nisgaleh lahem kodem l'chein, and why does he need the room? Why did he say, clear the room, I need the room. I need the room. אם כן מדוע המתין עד לזמן זה ולא נתגלה להם ככל קודם לכן Im kein madua himtin ad l'zman zeh v'lo nisgaleh lahem k'chol kodem l'chein? What was the reason? באופן אחד יש לומר כי באמת לא רצה יוסף לפגוע באחיו כפי שאמר להם אני יוסף אחיכם אשר מכרתם אותי מצרימה. B'ofen echad yesh lomar ki be'emes lo ratza Yosef lifgoa b'echav k'fi she'amar lahem Ani Yosef achichem asher mechartem oti Mitzrayma. So maybe the first way of understanding it is, the truth is Yosef did not want to hurt his brothers. Yosef, this is a superhuman. Despite all they had done to him, he did not want revenge. Despite all they had hurt him, he did not want to hurt them. The Or HaChaim HaKadosh writes, this is the on this pasuk, אני יוסף אחיכם Ani Yosef achichem. פירוש, מתנהג עמכם במידת האחווה Peirush, misnaheg imachem b'midas ha'achvah. Why did he say, I'm Yosef, your brother? You don't think they would get it at the I'm Yosef? How many Yosefs were in their life? I'm Yosef. He had to add on your brother. Says the Or HaChaim, he was signaling to them, I'm Yosef, and lest you think because I'm Yosef, I'm now about to take revenge, אני יוסף אחיכם Ani Yosef achichem, I'm Yosef and I want to be your brother. That's all I've ever wanted. All I've ever wanted was for you to treat me like a brother and let me treat you like a brother. כי לולא הדבר ההוא גם שמח לומר אחיכם אשר מכרתם לאמר שאפילו בזמן המכר לא חסרתי אני אחווה ממני. Ki lulei hadavar hahu, gam smach lomar achichem asher mechartem lomar she'afilu b'zman ha'mecher lo chisarti ani achvah mimeni. V'im kein lo ratza Yosef lifgoa b'achiv. He didn't want to hurt them. So if he would have revealed himself in front of other strangers, members of his court, it would have humiliated and shamed them and he wanted to protect and preserve their dignity. ידע יוסף כי מוכרח הוא להוכיח את אחיו על מעשיהם Yada Yosef ki muchrach hu l'hochiach es echav al ma'aseihem. He needed to give them a little musar, a little rebuke. And even if he didn't say it explicitly, implicitly, they would receive that rebuke. He wanted to protect and preserve their dignity, so he did it in private. He did it in private. That's the first interpretation. באופן שני יש לומר B'ofen sheini yesh lomar, but then says Rav Druk, a second interpretation. And this is based on the Beis HaLevi. When Yosef reveals himself, what does he say? Two words. אני יוסף Ani Yosef. I am Yosef. He then pauses and he says, העוד אבי חי ha'od avi chai? Is my father still alive? And the Beis HaLevi wonders, is my father still alive? You just had a conversation. העוד יש לכם אב או אח Ha'od yesh lachem av o ach? Do you have a father? Do you have any other brothers? We just, and they just answered, what? יש לנו אב זקן Yesh lanu av zaken, we have a father, he's an older man, but he's alive, he's well. And now your first question is, I'm Yosef, pause for drama, העוד אבי חי Ha'od avi chai? Is my father still alive? You know the answer. They just told you that we have an older father. And you already had it in last week's parsha, Miketz, ויאמר שלום אביכם הזקן אשר אמרתם עודנו חי v'yomer shalom avichem hazaken asher amartem odainu chai? How's your father doing? You know, the father you said is alive? You just went back and you came back? How's your father? Nu? How's your father? And they answered, שלום לעבדך לאבינו עודנו חי Shalom l'avd'cha l'avinu odainu chai. So now that's his first thing. העוד אבי חי Ha'od avi chai? Says the Beis HaLevi based on the Midrash Rabbah. אבא כהן ברדלא אמר, אוי לנו מיום הדין, אוי לנו מיום התוכחה. Abba Kohen Bardela amar, oy lanu miyom hadin, oy lanu miyom hatochecha. Woe unto us after 120, when we come upstairs and we appear before God and we appear before that heavenly court, the reality check, facing the music, confronting the truth of who we are and who we were and how we lived, will be as difficult and as painful as when Yosef reveals himself. אני יוסף Ani Yosef. And we ask on that Midrash, that's difficult musar? אני יוסף Ani Yosef? אני יוסף Ani Yosef. And the Beis HaLevi explains, what's the Beis HaLevi's pshat? Yosef didn't have to say anything more than אני יוסף Ani Yosef. Because the moment he said אני יוסף Ani Yosef, the rest of the entire picture became clear. And now they connected all the dots of their lives and of their actions and of their behaviors, and that was unbelievably devastating. Unbelievably devastating. Beis HaLevi, יוסף הצדיק הוכיח את אחיו מתוך טענותיהם עצמם. הרי יהודה טען ליוסף Yosef ha'tzaddik hochiach es echav mitoch ta'anoseihem atzmam. Harei Yehuda ta'an l'Yosef. And now we understand why did Yosef continue with העוד אבי חי Ha'od avi chai? Because the ultimate musar that Yosef gives is, Yehuda said, you have to let our brother go. Why? Our father's old, and you're going to kill him. He lost one son, and if you keep Binyamin, he will surely die. And Yosef can't take it anymore. He says, I'm sorry. Tell me again. You're so concerned about who? Yehuda says, my father. He's old, he's fragile, he's broken. One brother's gone. And if you keep Binyamin, he will surely die. And Yosef says, so concerned about your father? So concerned about your father? אני יוסף העוד אבי חי Ani Yosef, ha'od avi chai? Were you concerned about your father when you threw me in a pit? When you told him that I was killed by an animal? When you, when you sold me for the last 22 years? What about then? Yosef wasn't asking, is my father, our father still alive biologically, physically? Is he alive? That he knew the answer to. He was giving musar to Yehuda, Yehuda and company. You claim right now, your argument right now, your appeal right now is, I can't do this to your father. Well, I got to tell you something. I'm Yosef. He's also my father. And were you worried about him then? Were you worried about him then? And that is the אוי לנו מיום הדין, אוי לנו מיום התוכחה oy lanu miyom hadin, oy lanu miyom hatochecha. That is the reality we will have. The Gra, the Vilna Gaon says, we spoke about this on Shabbos Shuva, and we spoke about it last week here in the parsha class, being רואה את הנולד ro'eh es hanolad, the relationship with our future self. Because you know what your future self is going to have to do? If you don't sleep enough now, you're going to have memory challenges. You don't eat right now, you're going to have physical challenges. You don't do self-care right now, you're going to have emotional issues. The future self is counting on your present self to care about your future self. For the future self to not be a stranger. We spoke about that a little bit last week. We spoke a lot about it on Shabbos Shuva. And we quoted then that the Gra says, you know what Olam Haba is? The world to come is, Hashem says, nu, come sit on the couch. Presses play and you watch your whole lives together. Every moment, the public, the private, the part you knew people were watching, the part you thought nobody saw, your thoughts, your instincts, your inclinations, your everything. And you sit next to Hashem on a couch and you watch that. Do you think Hashem has to say anything? He doesn't have to say anything. Is there anything more torturous than the thought of his sitting next to you watching your best moments and your worst moments? Now the good news is, that's what the Gra says, we have editing software. We can edit that film before we have to watch it with Hashem. What's that called? Teshuva. Teshuva. We can edit. We can edit. And now you understand why we should be motivated. That's why the Gemara says a person should do teshuva a day before they die. And the Gemara says, do you know when you're going to die? No, which is why every day edit. Every day do some editing, every day do some clipping, every day do some censoring, every day delete the scenes that you will not want to be sitting next to Hashem one day watching. Now you don't get to just press delete without doing the hard work of teshuva. The only way to delete is not by pressing a button. The way to delete is the hard work of teshuva. But otherwise, we come upstairs and Hashem says, אני יוסף העוד אבי חי Ani Yosef, ha'od avi chai. He doesn't have to start to lace into you. All you have to do is look at the reality of the life that we led and that's painful. I was with a dear friend yesterday who I love who was crying and broken because he's made some poor decisions and Baruch Hashem he's now well enough to realize the consequences of those decisions and to confront the reality that he feels he created. And when a person looks at their life and confronts realities that they brought about through mistakes that they made, they don't need anyone else to say anything. All that has to be done is to connect those dots. All that has to be done is to see that reality, and that is unbearably painful. That is painful. And that's what Yosef does here. He doesn't lace in and give major musar. He just says אני יוסף העוד אבי חי Ani Yosef, ha'od avi chai. You know the kid didn't get into the seminary or yeshiva they applied to, the parent doesn't have to say, you see, I always told you you have to try harder and I can't believe it and you're such an and that's what's going to happen and I warned you. The parent should hold and cuddle that child and cry with them, because the child doesn't need the parent to say a word. A word. Their rejection from that dream is all they needed to hear. It's a very powerful lesson, the way Yosef responds to his brothers, the way Hashem will respond to all of us, and the way that we should communicate with the people that we love. A third interpretation of the Lahavoseish. מנין נתגלה יוסף דוקא בעת הזאת Mina'an nisgaleh Yosef davka b'eis zeh? כי ראה יוסף שיהודה מתחיל לשקר Ki ra'ah Yosef she'Yehuda maschil l'shaker. Why did Yosef reveal himself right now in this moment? First answer we gave was, he didn't want to embarrass his brothers. The second answer was, they're asking about your father. You care about your father? Did you care about your father when it came to me? And the third is, he starts to see them lie. The אחיו איננו achiv einenu became אחיו מת achiv meis. He sees Yehuda is getting desperate, willing to lie, it's time to reveal himself. He doesn't want to contribute to that whatsoever. Rav Druk then has another interpretation, and I never heard or saw this until this year. This is really beautiful. ויקרא הוציאו כל איש מעלי Vayikra hotzi'u chol ish mei'alai. In that moment, Yosef called out, remove every person, מעלי mei'alai. And he says, first of all, there seems to be a repetition. הוציאו כל איש מעלי Hotzi'u chol ish mei'alai, remove every person מעלי mei'alai, from translate from upon me. ולא עמד איש אתו V'lo amad ish ito, and there was no one with him. Okay, if he told everyone to leave, of course the room was empty. Why does the Torah need to say that Yosef called, give me the room, and he got the room? Everyone leave and everyone left. הוציאו כל איש מעלי ולא עמד איש אתו Hotzi'u chol ish mei'alai, v'lo amad ish ito. Why does he have to repeat that? Why does he have to repeat that? Listen to this of Druk. Was worth coming today just for this. The Midrash tells us a parshas, I'll give you the short version of it. The Midrash talks about a parshas Acharei Mos that in the moment that the kohen goes into the kodesh ha'kedoshim to do the avodah on Yom Kippur, כי מלאך השם צבאות הוא ki malach Hashem tzva'os hu, that the kohen gadol has the ability to transform himself to being like a malach, like an angel, to transcend and rise above the human impulse and instinct and foibles and failings, and to become a malach, to rise to become a malach. That he has the ability. He has the ability to do that. Says Rav Druk, he's quoting the Sfas Emes. Sfas Emes, אני יוסף אחיכם אשר מכרתם אותי מצרימה Ani Yosef achichem asher mechartem oti Mitzrayma, אני יוסף אחיכם עדיין אני אתכם באחווה של אח לאחיו. אני אתכם באחווה ואשר מכרתם Ani Yosef achichem, adayin ani itchem b'achvah shel ach l'achiv. Ani itchem b'achvah v'asher mechartem, as Chazal say על הלוחות אשר שברת, יש כוח ששברת. al ha'luchos asher shibarta, yashar koach she'shibarta. Sfas Emes says, you know what Yosef was saying? אני יוסף אחיכם Ani Yosef achichem, I'm Yosef. And I don't want to take revenge, I don't want to get even, I just want you to be the brothers I've always, always wanted you to be. אשר מכרתם אותי מצרימה Asher mechartem oti Mitzrayma, I'm the Yosef that you sold to slavery is not, and therefore watch out, I'm about to wallop you. אשר מכרתם Asher mechartem means יש כוח שמכרתם yashar koach she'mechartem. It all worked out for the best. I needed to be here in order to save the economy, save Egypt, save our family, feed our family. יש כוח Yashar koach, just like Hashem responds to על הלוחות אשר שברת al ha'luchos asher shibarta, אשר שברת asher shibarta, יש כוח ששברת yashar koach she'shibarta. Hashem says to Moshe, שכויח shkoyach that he broke the לוחות luchos. אשר מכרתם Asher mechartem, that same language, אשר מכרתם asher mechartem, יש כוח שמכרתם yashar koach she'mechartem. Now, for Yosef to be able to do that, says Rav Druk, that's superhuman. You know what behavior that's like? You know who has that kind of behavior? A malach. A malach. A human being can't have that attitude. A human being can't bring that mentality or have that paradigm. That's the behavior of a, of a malach. So says Rav Druk, it's a beautiful, listen to this. הוציאו כל איש מעלי Hotzi'u kol ish mei'alai. Yosef was not calling out, remove all the other people that are present. Yosef was talking to himself. And he says in this moment, הוציאו כל איש מעלי hotzi'u kol ish mei'alai, eliminate all the personal, all the human, all the animal, fighter, flight, all the jealousy, anger, resentment, eliminate כל איש מעלי kol ish mei'alai, eliminate all the human in me because I wanted to display the behavior of an angel. וכל אדם V'chol adam, and that and what happened? And taka, there was no person there. And what was the what was the conclusion? ולא עמד איש אתו Lo amad ish ito. There was no איש ish there. This is similar, says Rav Druk, This is similar, וכל אדם לא יהיה באהל מועד v'chol adam lo yihyeh b'ohel moed. The pasuk says there can't be a person in the Ohel Moed when the kohen gadol comes in. It doesn't mean there can't be anyone else. It means the kohen gadol can't be an adam. He has to be a malach. It reminds me of, Rav Druk doesn't say this, but it reminds me of Moshe Rabbeinu, spoiler alert, let's go forward to book number two, to the sequel, Sefer Shmos. When Moshe has this moment with the Mitzri, ויפן כה וכה וירא כי אין איש vayifen ko vacho vayaar ki ein ish. He looks this way and that way, וירא כי אין איש vayaar ki ein ish. And he sees there's no איש ish. There are moments when we look in a mirror and we ask ourselves, am I going to descend to the lowest part of who I am, or will I rise up to be an angel in that moment? Difficult. Very, very difficult. But isn't that amazing? Did you ever hear that before? What a beautiful interpretation. The ability to say אני יוסף אחיכם Ani Yosef, achichem. I'm Yosef, and I want to be your brother. אשר מכרתם Asher mechartem, יש כוח שמכרתם yashar koach she'mechartem. And not only am I not angry, שכויח shkoyach that you sold me because that was what was best. To display that graciousness, generosity of spirit, self-control, that's, that's angelic. And that's what Yosef was saying, remove all the איש ish, all the human in me, I want to see if I can be an angel in this moment. I want to tell you, if you weren't here this past Shabbos, we had the great zchus of hosting our dear friend Yedidya Harush and an amazing woman, Donna Cohen, whose son, whose husband, Aviad, was murdered on October 7th, one of the volunteer security who went to a neighboring yeshuv to fight. And the only, the people of Shlomit was the only yeshuv that went to fight not only for themselves, but a neighboring yeshuv that needed them, and they lost four people. And on one block, there are now four widows and 15 orphans. And one of them, Donna, came with her six children this past Shabbos. She spoke Shabbos afternoon here. It was, it was listening to a malach. What she spoke about Hashem and how we have to come together and Am Yisrael Chai, and Aviad is still living and looking down, and died for a reason, and who we need to be, and the achdus we need to have, and that Hashem slapped us on the face, but this is how we have to respond. This is what he's waiting for from us. I don't know about you, I felt, aside from feeling incredibly small and tiny, that we were sitting in front of a malach. A malach. Absolutely malach. A really beautiful malach. You know, the next night, they were here Shabbos, they went to New York on Sunday, and there was a concert done on behalf of the people of Shlomit, Ishay Ribo. And Donna Cohen was called on stage. Ishay Ribo called her on stage. This doesn't come off my parsha time, but I have to tell it to you. I can even post the video of it in the parsha group. So Ishay Ribo called on stage and Aviad's mother, who was also here this Shabbos, And he said that Aviad Cohen was a kohen, and a kohen is supposed to bring korbanos. And Aviad gave a korban, and he was the korban. He was the korban for Klal Yisrael. And then he sang his song, Ishay Ribo, Seder HaAvodah, which begins, במי מקום שבא הלך למקום שהלך b'mi makom sheba, halach l'makom shehalach, he came from the place he came, he went to the place that he went. And he sang it as a tribute to Aviad Cohen, the kohen, who was makriv a korban. He was that korban, he was that kadosh. Just unbelievable. It's unbearable this pain every day, including today, of the losses of these soldiers and these incredible people. But so many of them are malachim. They're malachim. I can also post the video of Ben Early's mother, who at the shloshim, when Shlomo Katz was playing, stopped Shlomo Katz in the middle of the music and looked around that room and said, what are you doing? Why are there so many sad faces? This is a mother at the shloshim of her son who was killed in battle in Gaza, and she says, why are you all looking so sad? We're going to bring the geulah, then we need to remember Ben, but we need to do it with simcha, with happiness. So she says, stop, leave. You can't stay. We're only going to have the shloshim, we're only going to sing with Shlomo, Shlomo Katz, if you could do so with sadness, but a sadness of simcha, with simcha. These people are malachim. They're not to be believed. You couldn't draw it up, you can't make it up, and I don't know they exist in any other people. No criticism of any other people. מי כעמך ישראל Mi k'amcha Yisrael. But Yosef in that moment showed that capacity to be a malach, to be a malach. Dana Cohen was a malach. It doesn't mean there are not moments, by the way, that they cry and they break down and they feel pain because they are humans. They're human malachim. But for us, they are unbelievably inspiring, incredible malachim, incredible malachim. Ay, there's so much more. But I want to get to some other things. How Avi Chai is our father still alive? I'll tell you what Rav Soloveitchik, that blew my mind, different than what we always think and say. Listen to this from Rav Soloveitchik. When he says, \"Ha'od avi chai?\", is my father still alive? ויאמר יוסף אל אחיו אני יוסף Vayomer Yosef el echav Ani Yosef. The moment Yosef discloses his identity, says Rav Soloveitchik, he ceased to be a ruler over Israel, ceding sovereignty to Yehuda. Providence willed that Yosef would lose and Yehuda would win. Now is not the time, but we do a disservice when we see this as some petty sibling rivalry. This was a clash of titans. This was world views and philosophies. This was something enormous. This wasn't petty sibling rivalry between Yehuda and Yosef, the brothers and Yosef. This was a clash of titans and a clash of ideologies and world views, and providence willed, Hashem ultimately chose, there as much as we love and admire and invoke Yosef, Yosef HaTzaddik, who is the father of Jewish monarchy? It is Yehuda. To understand this drama, says the Rav, we must retrace the story of Yaakov. Lavan had two daughters, Leah and Rachel. Yaakov loved Rachel very much. He tells Lavan he is ready to serve seven years for her. Rachel certainly reciprocated Yaakov's love, yet she acquiesced to the scheme devised by Lavan to substitute Leah. Not only did Rachel not tell Yaakov about her father's plan, but she cooperated in the conspiracy, sharing the password with Leah. How could Rachel participate in this deceit? How could she forgo her love for and devotion to Yaakov? This narrative involves two attributes of the holy one. Chesed and Gevurah. The Rav is about to go 2.0. The Rav is about to go deep, deep, deep. Not just the sweet story, Rachel, Leah, she gave the simanim, it was a great act of chesed. There's something much deeper going on over here. Leah represents midas gevurah, dignity and majesty of man. Her cooperation with Lavan's scheme demonstrates courage and valor. Right, here's a woman who's going after what she wants. She shows courage and valor and a little bit of chutzpah. Rachel was the opposite of Leah. She's the tragic heroine who lived for others. She surrendered her right so others could find the happiness denied to them. Rachel represents chesed. Yehuda was the son of Leah. His personality rated power, authority, prestige. Yaakov described him as a lion, the warrior who relentlessly pursues his enemies. Consider the firmness and majestic fearlessness Yehuda exhibited when he argued with Yosef about Binyamin. After all, the viceroy could have done anything to him. Yosef, on the other hand, is the son of Rachel. His mission was to sacrifice, to retreat from hard-won positions. He sacrificed many times, but his real sacrifice was the way he treated his brothers when they were at his mercy. Only a son of Rachel could offer friendship and kindness to the same brothers who had caused him so much misery. Yosef personified chesed. Who would be the king? The Almighty decided in favor of the son who represented gevurah. The king is the trustee and leader of the people. He must display gevurah in all respects, the ability to acquire, to defend, to possess, to protect. A life sacrificed for others, a life of chesed, is appropriate for the individual, but the king cannot sacrifice at the expense of the nation. In this moment, it's an amazing interpretation, no? The Rav is not saying this, but it's as if he's almost saying, had Yosef said off with their heads, then he should have been the father of Jewish monarchy. But because he was soft and sweet and gentle and generous, and he said like his mother Rachel, I'm forgiving, we could try again, and let's be brothers. By the way, he never got his wish fulfilled. That's a fast forward to next week's parsha. But he never got that relationship with the brothers he wanted. He wished and he waited and he longed and he tried, but he never got it. But he was so forgiving and soft and the Rav says, HaKadosh Baruch Hu paskened, that chesed of Rachel that Yosef was, that's beautiful on the individual level, but on the national level, the communal level, the leadership level, you need a lion. You need Yehuda. You know, I think of this and I'm not trying to connect these dots for you, but of you're in charge of Israel right now. So the individual hears the pleas of families of hostages or has to make decisions, how can you send boys into war? On the individual level you have a רחמנות rachmanus on soldiers, so a ceasefire is very attractive. On the individual level, anything to bring hostages home, anything, whoever and whatever you have to release. On the individual רחל Rachel level, the יוסף Yosef level, the חסד chesed level, it's very attractive.But the Jewish people, if we've learned one lesson from October 7th and how the people who perpetrated this were in position to do so, it's because maybe we had a little too much רחל Rachel, a little too much יוסף Yosef, and we need a little more יהודה Yehuda. We need a little more לאה Leah. We need a little more גבורה gevurah and a little less חסד chesed. On the individual level, all over Israel right now. פינה חמה Pinah Chama, soldiers, cookies, ציצית tzitzis. On the individual level, we need a nation filled with רחל'ס Rachels, a nation filled with יוסף'ס Yosefs. חסד, חסד, חסד, חסד, חסד, חסד, חסד, חסד Chesed, chesed, chesed, chesed, chesed, chesed, chesed, chesed. But in the decision maker's office, we need a יהודה Yehuda. We need a lion, we need גבורה gevurah. And that's what, that's not my interpretation or Rav Soloveitchik's. Soloveitchik is saying that's what the ריבונו של עולם Ribono Shel Olam פסק'ענד paskened in that moment. In those words אני יוסף Ani Yosef, יוסף Yosef sealed his fate that he would not be the father of monarchy.It's fascinating, right? Because we've always read that יוסף Yosef is the hero. He's so gracious, so generous. And for the Rav, יוסף Yosef a little bit missed the opportunity. No, he didn't. It's always meant to be. It's what he brings to the table. But to a degree, יהודה Yehuda now surpasses. השם Hashem פסק'ענס paskens like יהודה Yehuda because that's what our people, that's what our people ultimately need. And what I need is another hour. At least. We did about one third of the things I wanted to tell you. This פרשה'ס parsha's amazing. It's rich with, there's so much. אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu. He tells them don't be sad. ואתם אל תעצבו Ve'atem al tei'atzvu, don't be sad.Why shouldn't they be sad? They should be terribly sad. They should be grief-stricken. They should be broken over what they did and who they were and how they hurt him. Why shouldn't they be sad? Why shouldn't they be sad? They should be terribly sad. Where's the Jewish guilt? Should be making them feel guilty, should be laying it on thick. Of course they should be sad. Of course they should be sad. So can we end with this? You give me one more minute?Of course they should be sad. So why does he say don't be sad? אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu. אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu.So, I'll just tell you one thing. אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu. The ירחמיאל שרגא Yirachmiel Shraga, the אמרי טהרות Imrei Taharos, he quotes from the אבשלום Av Shalom, ועתה אל תעצבו Ve'ata al tei'atzvu. אין ועתה Ein ve'ata, the word ועתה ve'ata always means, anyone know? It's a מדרש רבה Midrash Rabbah, בראשית רבה Bereishis Rabbah. אין ועתה אלא תשובה Ein ve'ata ela teshuva. Like והיה מקץ Vehaya mikeitz, the word והיה vehaya is sad. ועתה Ve'ata, we have words that always have an association with them. ועתה Ve'ata is always תשובה teshuva. So what he's saying, ועתה תשובה, אל תעצבו Ve'ata, teshuva, al tei'atzvu. הנה אף פשר שעושים תשובה על חטאם אסור להיות בעצבות Hinei af p'shar she'osim teshuva al chat'am asur l'hiyos b'atzvus. ולכן כאן שעשו השבטים תשובה על מכירת יוסף V'lachein kan she'asu hashvatim teshuva al mechiras Yosef, לכך אמר להם יוסף אל תעצבו l'chach amar lahem Yosef al tei'atzvu. Like the חובות הלבבות Chovos Halevavos writes, שצער לסור בפניו ואכלו בליבו שצריך להיות בשמחה אפילו בעת שעושים תשובה she'tza'ar lasur b'fanav v'eichlo b'libo she'tzarich l'hiyos b'simcha afilu b'eis she'osim teshuva. ועתה Ve'ata now, while you're doing תשובה teshuva. He turns to his brothers and he says, while you're replaying everything right now, while you're being overwhelmed with shame and guilt right now, don't be sad. Because עצבות atzvus, sadness, it's kryptonite. Sadness is the worst. It brings about our ends. It debilitates, it knocks us down, it makes us feel low. If you really want to come back stronger, rise above it, learn from it, transform, you want to do תשובה teshuva, אל תעצבו al tei'atzvu, you can never be sad.We make the mistake ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim time of thinking, אלול Elul, ראש השנה Rosh Hashanah, תשובה teshuva, יום כיפור Yom Kippur, this Friday, עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves is a fast day, סליחות slichos, ooh, I have to walk around like this all day, sad and somber and sad and תשובה teshuva. No, תשובה teshuva is בשמחה b'simcha. I'm going to change, I'm going to transform, I'm going to be better, my best is yet to come. בשמחה B'simcha. ועתה Ve'ata, the very methodology, the very strategy, you know how you do תשובה teshuva? בשמחה B'simcha. The תפארת שלמה Tiferes Shlomo of רדומסק Radomsk, הנה תשובה מצוות עשה מן התורה ולכן צריך לקיימה מתוך שמחה ולא בעצבות Hinei teshuva mitzvas asei min haTorah v'lachein tzarich l'kayma mitoch simcha v'lo b'atzvus. תשובה Teshuva is also a מצוה mitzvah. And עבדו את השם בשמחה ivdu es Hashem b'simcha. Every מצוה mitzvah, עבדו את השם בשמחה ivdu es Hashem b'simcha, every מצוה mitzvah has to be done בשמחה b'simcha. And if תשובה teshuva is also a מצוה mitzvah, it too needs to be done בשמחה b'simcha. It needs to be done בשמחה b'simcha. And that's what I sent my friend. My friend, who I told you was debilitated and broken and sad by facing and confronting the reality of a situation that he created through his own mistakes. I sent him a picture of this, this אמרי טהרות Imrei Taharos. אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu, ועתה ve'ata, my dear friend. And now, you're doing תשובה teshuva, you want to be better, you want to fix, you want to repair? אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu. You can never do it out of sadness. Never out of sadness. That's what Ben Erli's mother said. We're sad. We're sad at his loss, we're grieving, but we're grieving בשמחה b'simcha. Stop looking so sad. Sing. And you have to sing grief, but בשמחה b'simcha. אל תעצבו Al tei'atzvu. It's, it's angelic. That's what מלאכים malachim are capable of, and that's who we are. We're able to be מלאכים malachim. We should have no more sadness, and only שמחה simcha. Should be a day that we hear good things. Please stay and remain. Take the flyers so you remember to come מוצאי שבת Motzaei Shabbos, Erica Brown. Please stay and say a few פרקים prakim of תהילים Tehillim.
