Transcript
May be a good morning and a good day for כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael, we should hear בשורות טובות besoros tovos, ישועות ונחמות yeshuos v'nechamos. Of course all of our hearts, all of our תפילות tefilos, all of our hearts, all of our תפילות tefilos, all of our thoughts and all of our wishes with our brothers and sisters in Israel, the members of the IDF, they should be successful in a sweeping victory in their mission.Which reminds me right after שיעור shiur, as always, or as we've now begun to do, everyone's on my to stay, תהלים מחולק Tehillim mechulak, we'll give it out. 30 people stay, it'll take just a few minutes to finish all of ספר תהלים Sefer Tehillim as part of our שיעור shiur. We continue to provide these cars, flags for the cars. We're getting American flags as well. Let the cars represent our patriotism and gratitude to America and the US-Israel relationship. Don't be afraid, don't be defensive, don't be shy. Everywhere you go, everywhere you park, every highway you drive on, be proud Jews and proudly stand with America and Israel.פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah, page 106 in the Artscroll חומש Chumash. We remain of course grateful to our generous sponsors, Becky and Avi Katz and family, who sponsored the פרשה parsha series in memory of David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מנוס l'ilui nishmas Dovid ben Menachem Manos. This morning's שיעור shiur is sponsored by Dr. Golda Sadavsky in honor of Rabbi Yehuda Leib and Doris Kurtzer, her dear aunt and uncle. Wonderful people, we love the Kurtzers, and by Rachel Tepper, לעילוי נשמת רוז בת אברהם יעקב הלוי l'ilui nishmas Rose bas Avraham Yaakov HaLevi, נשמתה תהא לה עליה nishmasa tehei lah aliyah. Thank you for your generosity. ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה Vayihyu chayei Sarah meah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim, shnei chayei Sarah. The life of Sarah was 100 years and 20 years and 70 years. That was the life of Sarah אימנו Imeinu. And we've spoken many times as all do on this פרשה parsha, why we begin in such a peculiar fashion. Why not just much more succinctly say Sarah lived 127 years? Why 100 years and 20 years and 7 years? I don't like math. I never liked math. I didn't like it as a kid, I don't like it now. I don't want to have to add up the numbers. Just give me the sum total of what it adds up to.And there are many interpretations. רש\"י Rashi famously quotes that when she was 100, it's like she was 20 for חטא chet, and when she was 20, like she was 7 in terms of her beauty, and so on and so forth. The מדרש Midrash tells us that רבי עקיבא's Rabbi Akiva's students, I find this incredibly reassuring, that רבי עקיבא's Rabbi Akiva's students were falling asleep when he was giving שיעור shiur. The great רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva. We say to ourselves if we were in רבי עקיבא's Rabbi Akiva's שיעור shiur for one minute, be wide awake. Be listening so attentively. And yet the great רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva, you know, there's a, as a public person, as a רב rav, you draw strength from interesting places. Like Mordechai. Mordechai was רצוי לרוב אחיו ratzui l'rov echav. They voted on Mordechai's contract. Shushan was up for extermination, elimination, antisemites wanted to destroy. Mordechai is the hero, he saves all of Shushan, and they have a vote. Are we extending his contract? And wouldn't you know it, רצוי לרוב ratzui l'rov, he got a majority. He saved the whole Shushan, and he got a majority. So רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva was giving שיעור shiur and there's people falling asleep right in front of him, right in front of him. I once gave a שיעור shiur, someone was sitting in the front row, they don't live here anymore, I won't embarrass them. It was ממש mamash unbelievable. I never saw anything like it in my life. I was watching him doze and the head bob, and I was just watching it happen, and he fell into such a deep sleep, he fell off the chair onto the ground. When he hit the ground, he woke up and he jumped back up in the chair and tried to make it like nothing happened and ברוך השם Baruch Hashem. That's why when I meet anesthesiologists, I say, we have the same career, we're in the same business. So רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva, the great רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva, and his students fell asleep. So he thought, how am I going to wake them up? Some provocative idea? Some thought-provoking, controversial comment? A joke that would have them roaring with laughter? רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva said, Sarah lived 127 years, Esther ruled over 127 מדינות medinos. שוין shoin, everybody woke up. That's what did it?So the חידושי הרי\"ם Chidushei HaRim, the חידושי הרי\"ם Chidushei HaRim says what רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva was telling his תלמידים talmidim was, Sarah אימנו Imeinu took advantage of every moment of her life. Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year. Her 127 years were full, were complete, were lived to their fullest. And you know what the result was? You know what that gave birth to? 127 מדינות medinos. When we utilize our time, when we elevate and enrich our time, then we mold and shape this world, we rule over מדינות medinos, we move the cosmos, the impact and the difference we make. What he was telling them is, why are you fast a-שלוף shluf? How could you be sleeping? We're learning תורה Torah, do you understand the inestimable value? Do you understand the eternity? Do you understand the נצח נצחים netzach netzachim of every moment here and what we do with it? Esther merited to rule over 127 מדינות medinos because Sarah took advantage of 127 years. Of 127 years. Later in the פרשה parsha we'll see that אברהם זקן בא בימים Avraham zakein ba bayamim. We'll see a few interpretations of it, but אברהם Avraham grows old, בא בימים ba bayamim, it's a very interesting expression or phrase. What does it mean בא בימים ba bayamim? He came with days. What does that even mean? The זוהר הקדוש Zohar HaKadosh makes a comment, בא בימים ba bayamim means that after 120, or 127, why can't it be 127? When we come upstairs, you know what escorts us? You know what is מלוה melaveh us? You know what comes with us or before us? Our days, they testify about us. Our diary. You know what goes upstairs with you? And the רבונו של עולם Ribbono Shel Olam says, ש... ש... ש... sha, sha, sha. Stop telling me how you lived and what you thought was important and what you valued and what you cared about. Just stop talking for a second. Show me your Google calendar. Show me your Outlook calendar. Show me if you carry around one of those OU whatever, old school calendar. Show me your calendar. Show me your days and what you did with them and what you did in them. Show me how you spent your time and I'll know everything about you. Don't tell me, show me.Our calendar testifies to who we are. ואברהם זקן בא בימים V'Avraham zakein ba bayamim, our days come with us. Our days come with us. So will they show that you binge-watched Netflix? Will they show that you filled your time with נארישקייט narishkeit? Will you show that you שמועס'ד schmoozed about nothing? Will they show that they were wasted? Or were they filled with meaning and purpose and change and transformation and an effort to repair and redeem this world? At whatever age. Whatever age. It's a theme, for no particular reason that we mentioned at the פרשה parsha class, but even if you're retired, there's no such thing as retirement. Retirement is from your career or your profession, but you're never retired in יידישקייט Yiddishkeit from life. אדרבה ואדרבה Adaraba v'adaraba. When your children are young and you're raising a family and trying to pay tuition, you're working for a living, is when you don't have time to do the meaningful things to fill your day that will come testify on your behalf. But אדרבה adaraba, דייקא dafka it's in retirement that you can fill your day, go to the שיעורים shiurim and stay and say the תהלים Tehillim, and go check in on somebody, and go spend time with somebody, and go with a volunteer opportunity, and go take on a committee, and go transform the world. Because אברהם זקן בא בימים Avraham zakein ba bayamim, our days come and they testify who we are and how we fill them and what we do with them and what we say, it doesn't really matter. What we say is not what's important. It's what we do is who we are. And what will reveal and what testifies to what we do? Nothing more than our calendar, maybe our calendar combined with our budget. You know what goes upstairs for us? השם Hashem says go sit in the corner and be quiet. I don't want to hear anything. Just give me your calendar and give me your credit card statement. And then I'll know everything about you. Don't tell me, \"Oh, Israel, I'm so broken, I can't sleep, I'm so broken.\" Really, it's funny, I looked at your calendar, you didn't make it to too much תהלים Tehillim. You didn't add any learning. I didn't see you volunteer your time to go pack duffles. And show me your, and show me your budget, your credit card statement, your financial statements. \"Oh, you were so bothered?\" I didn't see that you, you know, you gave up some luxury to ensure that displaced families would have some money, that soldiers could have their goods and their needs.So חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים Chayei Sarah meah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim, 127 years. רבי עקיבא Rabbi Akiva taught, Esther was זוכה zocheh 127 מדינות medinos. אברהם זקן בא בימים Avraham zakein ba bayamim, because this is what testifies to who we really are. Back in the Rav Druk's newest ספר sefer, להבות אש Lahavos Eish, grateful to Rav Druk for sharing his new ספר sefer with me. In his new ספר sefer, he quotes this רש\"י Rashi. Why 100 and 20 and 7? תורה Torah is always succinct. The תורה Torah says things as quickly as possible. תורה'ס Torah's real estate is the most precious that there is. So just say 127 years, why 100 and 20 and 7? To teach us, at 100 like 20 when it comes to חטא chet, she was so innocent and pure. At 20 she was beautiful as if 7. בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim in פרשת Parshas... sorry, wrong piece. שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah, the פסוק pasuk ends ויהיו חיי שרה v'yihyu chayei Sarah, שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah. Says רש\"י Rashi, what does it mean שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah? שני Shnei can mean years, these are the years of Sarah's life. שני Shnei can mean lives, multiple, two, plural. So what does שני shnei mean here? says רש\"י Rashi, כולן שוין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. They were all good. They were all equal in how good they were, how good they were lived, how good they were experienced. Says Rav Druk, יש לכל אדם בחייו תקופות של אור yesh l'chol adam b'chayav tkufos shel or. Says Rav Druk, you know every person, every human being, to be alive is to have periods of your life that are characterized by light, by goodness, by pleasantness, by joy. כשהאדם מצליח והדברים מסתדרים עבורו על הצד היותר טוב ka'asher ha'adam matzliach v'hadvarim mistadrim avuro al hatzad hayoter tov, when a person is successful, when a person is celebrating שמחות smachos, when all is going well and good, when a person is healthy. אבל אולם יש תקופות בחיים שהדברים אינם מסתדרים עבור האדם aval ulam yesh tkufos b'chaim she'hadvarim einam mistadrim avur ha'adam, ויש לו קשיים ונסיונות v'yesh lo kshayim v'nisyonos. But there are moments that don't go so smoothly and don't go so well, and a person is struggling, and a person is suffering, and a person is frustrated, and a person is disappointed, and a person is trying to navigate the darkness of their life, of this world. בא התורה להשמיענו בפסוק שני חיי שרה Ba haTorah l'hashmieinu b'pasuk shnei chayei Sarah. The Torah comes along and tells us שני כולן שוין לטובה shnei kulan shavin l'tova. You think Sarah אימנו Imeinu didn't have difficult years? If you think that, you don't know anything about Sarah אימנו Imeinu. Because here's what we know about Sarah אימנו Imeinu. We know that her husband locked her in a cabinet and said pretend you're my sister. She was then abducted and almost raped by a powerful figure without consent. Sarah introduced #MeToo. She was the founder. She waited for years and years and years, all she wanted was children. She allowed her husband to take a co-wife. How magnanimous, how generous. And she waited and waited and longed and longed to have children. She had a difficult life. A very difficult life. And yet, at the end of her life, the Torah testifies about her, you know, you'd never know. Sarah אימנו'ס Imeinu's demeanor, her disposition, Sarah אימנו'ס Imeinu's attitude when you met her was, \"Sarah, how's everything?\" \"All good.\" \"Aren't you sad you don't have a son yet?\" \"Yeah, I'm frustrated, I wish I, I דאווען daven hard, but השם'ס Hashem's זוכה zocheh to me in other ways and life is good. I choose to see the good and to be positive and to be hopeful.\" Sarah אימנו Imeinu, no matter what was going on, they were שוין לטובה shavin l'tova.ימים, ישנם ימים מאירים בהם הרגשה היא להגיד בבוקר חסדך yamim, yeshnam yamim me'irim bahem ha'hargasha hi l'hagid baboker chasdecha. We have days where our attitude, our approach is the פסוק pasuk in תהלים Tehillim, מזמור שיר mizmor shir, להגיד בבוקר חסדך l'hagid baboker chasdecha. We tell בבוקר baboker. בוקר boker means the morning. In the morning, when you wake up, a bright new day, filled with opportunity, a bright new day, pregnant with possibility, a bright new day, hopeful and optimistic, and the sun rises yet again, and the sun is shining high in the sky. בחינת בוקר b'chinas boker, we have days in our life that are like בוקר boker. The sun will come up and the sun rises and they're bright and they're hopeful and they're wonderful, and there's clarity. I can see, everything makes sense. אולם יש ימים בהם הרגשה היא ואמונתך בלילות ulam yesh yamim bahem ha'hargasha hi v'emunascha baleilos. But there are other days that are filled with ואמונתך בלילות v'emunascha baleilos. It's dark, the cloak of darkness. I have no idea what's happening. התקופה נראית חשוכה כלילה Ha'tkufah nireis chashuchah k'lailah. It can feel dark. We all have family serving in the IDF, whether it's immediate family, whether it's biological family, or whether it's family. I have a lot of family. I have a lot of family. I have four nephews and countless cousins, and one of my nephews is in Gaza and 10 days ago handed in his phone. Hasn't been in touch with his wife or his two kids or my sister and brother-in-law, because he can't, he's not alone. This is true for thousands and thousands. What do they find out? A nightly text from the commander of the unit, \"We're all alive and well, speak to you tomorrow.\" A text. That's ואמונתך בלילות v'emunascha baleilos. I don't know how she sleeps. I hope she's not listening to this. I love her dearly, I love him dearly. How do you sleep? You're raising your two little kids on your own, without your husband. Bad enough he's away, you were able to FaceTime and talk and connect, and then 10 days will turn into two, who knows? And we know what's at risk, and we know the purpose of the mission, we know what's at stake. You know what that takes? ואמונתך בלילות v'emunascha baleilos. You close your eyes at night, the sun goes down, and the sky is dark, and you know what's probably happening, and you know where your person you love, your other half is going, and ואמונתך בלילות v'emunascha baleilos, that's what you have. התקופה נראית חשוכה Ha'tkufah nireis chashuchah, it's dark. אך אף ימים אלו שווים הם לטובה ach af yamim eilu shavim heim l'tova. For Sarah אימנו Imeinu, her dark nights, her difficult moments, they were שוין לטובה shavin l'tova. There's nothing wrong, they have to be navigated. A person has to find strength. חלילה chalila, we're not judging or criticizing somebody who's struggling through these difficult times. But Sarah אימנו Imeinu, her greatness when we reflect and think about her, ואמונתך בלילות כולן שוין לטובה v'emunascha baleilos kulan shavin l'tova. Good years, bad years, good day, bad day, joy and success, failure and disappointment, you never knew because you ran into Sarah and Sarah was a big smile.כך אמר שלמה המלך בקהלת, בבוקר זרע את זרעך ולערב אל תנח ידך kach amar Shlomo HaMelech b'Koheles, baboker zra es zar'echa v'laerev al tanach yadecha. ומדרשנו אמרו הפסוק זה משלום רבים u'midrasheinu amru ha'pasuk zeh m'shalom rabbim. This פסוק pasuk, in the morning זרע את זרעך zra es zar'echa, a person sows their seed, and in the evening, don't give up, don't take your away your hand. כשהמצב בבחינת בוקר ואור ישנה הארה של הקדוש ברוך הוא, תזרע את זרעך ka'asher hamatzav b'vchinas boker v'or, yeshna ha'arah shel HaKadosh Baruch Hu, tizra es zar'echa. When you wake up in the morning, בבוקר baboker, and the sun is high in the sky, you have clarity, and you can see and it all makes sense and it all feels wonderful, plant your seed, grow and blossom, transform that world. But לערב la'erev, at night, when that world gets dark, when that sun sets, when you have no idea what will be and what is, when you're haunted, קשה להאמין בהקדוש ברוך הוא kasheh l'ha'amin b'HaKadosh Baruch Hu, it's difficult to believe, אף בזמן זה אל תנח ידך af b'zman zeh al tanach yadecha. In this moment, אל תתיאש al tityaeish. יאוש שלום ידעת yei'ush shalom yidat, a Jew never gives up, a Jew never despairs, a Jew always lives with hope. יאוש yei'ush is, there's no יאוש yei'ush, it's שלום ידעת shalom yidat. אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל ein shum yei'ush ba'olam klal, אלא תשתדל להחזיק באמונה כמה שיותר ela tishtadel l'hachzik b'emunah kamah she'yoser. A person has to dig deep and live with אמונה emunah. That was Sarah אימנו Imeinu. When you say, \"How? How am I going to get through this? And I can't get through this,\" you say, \"You know, I can. You know how? Because there's a piece of Sarah אימנו Imeinu, a piece of אברהם יצחק ויעקב Avraham, Yitzchak v'Yaakov in each and every one of us.\" We carry their DNA and we have their resilience and their strength and their tenacity and we can and we can. And we have the ability of a Sarah אימנו Imeinu. This is the greatest thing we could say about her. כולן שוין לטובה Kulan shavin l'tova. All equal, all were good. אמונה, אמונה emunah, emunah is what carries us. We had the great זכות zchus last night, sitting right here in this spot, we'll get the video out, the Gerrer ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Shaul Alter שליט\"א shlita was here. What an incredible night. And he spoke about this אמונה emunah. He quoted the serenity prayer, believe it or not, that's how he began. \"Give me the strength to accept what I can't control, let go of what I can't control.\" And then he said, but that's not, he put the Torah spin on the serenity prayer, and he spoke about אמונה emunah, living with אמונה emunah in these times, and אמונה emunah is not something that's on a shelf, the Pesach dishes, you don't pull it down. אמונה Emunah is the way that you see the world and that you feel and you understand what's going on. He said such a beautiful idea that we know from חז\"ל Chazal, השם Hashem always sends the רפואה refuah before the מכה makah. השם Hashem always sends the healing before even the challenge. How was the רפואה refuah before the מכה makah? He said, why did this terrible tragedy happen? We just marked the שלושים shloshim. It happened on שמחת תורה Simchas Torah. In Israel it was שמחת תורה Simchas Torah. What's the day in our calendar that the most Jews are all equal? We're dancing in a circle where everyone is equidistant on that circle. Where Jews are taking each other's hand and dancing in a circle equidistant, and it's not just that the חשוב'ע chashuve one gets the עליה aliyah and the רבי rebbe gets שלישי shlishi or שישי shishi, and the big donor gets רביעי revi'i, and this big כהן kohein gets כהן kohein. Everybody gets an עליה aliyah, and everybody dances in a circle, and everybody's equidistant. What's שמחת תורה Simchas Torah? It's אחדות achdus and it's equality. And that was the רפואה refuah before the מכה makah that we would need to get through this. He already on that day, the רפואה refuah, what we would need in order to get through it, which is the unity that we're seeing, that strength, it happened, רפואה refuah before the מכה makah. He didn't mention, but I read a couple days ago that among the intelligence that they uncovered in Gaza was that the original plans for this were on פסח Pesach. This Hamas attack was scheduled for פסח Pesach. But it was for whatever reason שמחת תורה Simchas Torah, the רפואה refuah before the מכה makah, we dig deep and we have to find that capacity for that for that אמונה emunah. He has much more on this here, Rav Druk.The גמרא Gemara in ברכות Brachos says חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה chayav adam l'varech al hara'ah k'shem sh'mevarech al hatovah. The גמרא Gemara in ברכות נ\"ד Brachos nun-daled, a person has to make a ברכה bracha, דיין האמת Dayan HaEmes, when one loses a loved one, one loses a fortune. You had a business deal turn sour and you lost a fortune of money, there's a ברכה bracha to make. דיין האמת Dayan, you make a ברכה bracha דיין האמת Dayan HaEmes. And that ברכה bracha כשם k'shem. You have to make that ברכה bracha, חייב לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה chayav l'varech al hara'ah k'shem sh'mevarech al hatovah. שנאמר ואהבת את ה' אלקיך בכל לבבך she'ne'emar v'ahavta es Hashem Elokecha b'chol levavcha. The גמרא Gemara quotes a פסוק pasuk. How? Because you have to love השם Hashem בכל לבבך b'chol levavcha. What does בכל לבבך b'chol levavcha mean? With all of your heart. It's not what it means. What does it mean? All of your hearts, in plural, with an s. בכל לבך b'chol libcha would mean with all of your heart. But it doesn't say בכל לבך b'chol libcha. It doesn't say with all of your heart in the singular, what does it say? בכל לבבך b'chol levavcha, with all your hearts, plural. Plural. What do you mean plural? How many hearts do you have? Your heart has four chambers but you only have one heart. So why does it say hearts? Because we have two hearts. You have יצר הטוב yetzer hatov, you have יצר הרע yetzer hara, you have the מברך על הטובה mevarech al hatovah and you have מברך על הרעה mevarech al hara'ah. Says the גמרא Gemara, מה חייב לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה ma chayav l'varech al hara'ah k'shem sh'mevarech al hatovah? אלא כשם שמברך על הטובה הטוב המטיב כך מברך על הרעה הטוב המטיב ela k'shem sh'mevarech al hatovah, 'HaTov v'HaMeitiv,' kach mevarech al hara'ah, 'HaTov v'HaMeitiv.' Is do you think you make the same ברכה bracha? הטוב המטיב HaTov v'HaMeitiv even when something goes wrong? The גמרא Gemara says no, הטוב המטיב hatov v'hameitiv על בשורות טובות al besoros tovos, על בשורות רעות אומר ברוך דיין האמת al besoros raos omer Baruch Dayan HaEmes. אמר רבא לא נצרכה אלא לקבולינו בשמחה amar Rava lo nitzrecha ela l'kubleinu b'simcha. What it means is, not only do you have to have the attitude, when everything is right, you never hear anyone say when their child gets engaged, \"Why me? Why me?\" They get a raise, a promotion. They tell the boss, \"Me? Why me? Why me?\" They say, \"Me? Yeah, me. For sure, me. Me, I deserve the שמחה simcha, I deserve the raise, I deserve the vacation, I deserve everything working out.\" Yeah, me, me. And then when everything goes wrong, \"Why me?\" \"It should be him, it should be her. Why me?\" So כשם k'shem means, with the same way that we realize, this was designated for me, this שמחה simcha, I've דאווענ'ד davened, it was my time, this is what's right for me, whether I understand it or not, whether I'm deserving of it or not, this is what's right for me. This raise, this promotion, this שמחה simcha, this news. כשם k'shem. Even when things go wrong. צרעה ויגון אמצא ובשם ה' אקרא tzarah v'yagon emtza u'v'shem Hashem ekra. And Rav Druk goes more on about this. But the כשם k'shem, who lived that כשם k'shem? Sarah אימנו Imeinu, שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah. כולן שוין לטובה Kulan shavin l'tova. She fulfilled her life was characterized by כשם k'shem. She had the same ברכה bracha על הרעה al hara'ah and על הטובה al hatovah. She had the same attitude of, \"I, just like I don't question when I get the good news, the שמחה simcha, I win the lottery, I get the promotion, I don't question when I run into a obstacle, a stumbling block, a struggle.\" Equally accepted, it's equally designated, it's equally meant to be from השם Hashem. We've discussed in the past, Sarah dies. Avraham comes, ויבא אברהם לספוד לשרה ולבכותה vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa. What order should it be? Do you first cry and then eulogize, do you eulogize and then cry? Usually you cry, you hear bad news and you cry. Then you compose yourself to deliver a eulogy. When it came to Sarah, Avraham delivered a eulogy, and then he cried. Why? And his crying, his tears were unusual. They were a small כף chaf, ולבכותה v'livkosa is a small כף chaf in the Torah. Look in the חומש Chumash, a small כף chaf. He limited his tears. Why? Toxic masculinity. אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu. He had to show that he couldn't, he wouldn't cry. \"It's okay,\" today you'd say, \"Avraham, it's okay, cry, be in touch with your feelings, it's okay to cry.\" Why is it a small כף chaf? It's okay to cry. Avraham didn't know it's okay to cry? And how does he react? ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו vayakam Avraham mei'al pnei meiso. He gets up, ויקם vayakam. כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael get knocked down, we rise back up. We are right now in a תקופה tkufah of ויקם vayakam. ויקם מעל פני מתו vayakam mei'al pnei meiso, מתינו meiseinu. We are right now in a תקופה tkufah, we're following the footsteps of an Avraham, ויקם vayakam, to get back up. How does he get back up? What's the next section? He buys a grave for Sarah. He negotiates with Ephron, we'll see in a moment. And what does he do next? He buries Sarah, Sarah dies unexpectedly, shockingly. Cause of death? Scared to death. Because someone told her the wrong way. We learned from here the right way to tell news. What they should have said is, \"Sarah, your יצחק Yitzchak, he's fine. He's okay. He's happy. He's healthy. He's good. But listen to this crazy story that almost happened.\" Instead, someone came along and said, \"Sarah, did you hear?\" \"Hear what?\" \"Avraham took יצחק Yitzchak, השם Hashem told him to kill him on an altar, he brought him up to the mountain, put him on the altar, lifted a knife.\" Before he could get to the punchline, Sarah had a heart attack and died. So you learn how to tell, you always call your parents, \"They're fine, they're okay, but they broke their leg, they're in a cast, and they'll be fine.\" You have to know how to tell, we learn how to tell the news from here. So Sarah, he died, Avraham buries Sarah. What's the very next thing he does? What's the next thing he does? He finds a שידוך shidduch for יצחק Yitzchak. Because what does one do? How do we bounce back? ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו vayakam Avraham mei'al pnei meiso. How do we bounce back? We're not scared, we don't run away, we don't cower, we don't give up, we don't throw in the towel, we don't say it's over, turn off the light. What do we do? Next שידוך shidduch. Continuity, a future, a new בית נאמן בישראל bayis ne'eman b'Yisrael. That's our answer, that's the antidote. The answer, Avraham loses Sarah so prematurely, so abruptly, so suddenly, he loses his other half, he loses his better half. What does he do? \"Huh, you know what? The future. We need to build the future.\" I mentioned last week, but the Holocaust survivors who didn't talk about the Holocaust for 30, 40, 50 years, never told their children about it, only opened up to their grandchildren. Why? Because until they knew they had a future, they couldn't talk about the past. Had to have grandchildren, they had to before they can talk about, before they can talk about the past. So Avraham, what's the response? ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו vayakam Avraham mei'al pnei meiso, time to go find a שידוך shidduch for יצחק Yitzchak.But first he's got to bury Sarah. And this is a difficult negotiation. רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah says this is the test. We thought the last test was last week, עשרה נסיונות נתנסה אברהם אבינו asara nisyonos nisnasah Avraham Avinu, he was tested 10 times and we thought that the עקידה akeidah, certainly the most challenging, the hardest of all the tests, we thought it was the final test. Says רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah, no. You know what was the hardest test? Maintaining his composure even while having to negotiate with an Ephron HaChiti. A duplicitous, lying snake, sleazy, and yet Avraham maintained his composure. He made a קידוש השם kiddush Hashem. Made a קידוש השם kiddush Hashem. That was the final test. וישמע אברהם אל עפרון וישקול אברהם לעפרון את הכסף אשר דבר באזני בני חת ארבע מאות שקל כסף עבר לסוחר vayishma Avraham el Ephron vayishkol Avraham l'Ephron es ha'kesef asher diber b'oznei vnei ches, arba me'os shekel kesef over lasocher. Ephron charges a excessive amount. And Avraham says, \"I'll pay it.\" You know, where do we learn כסף קידושין kesef kiddushin from? Today we get married, there are three ways a person could get married. We only use one of them, כסף kesef. We use שוה כסף shaveh kesef. The man, the חתן chassan, gives the woman, notice I didn't call them a boy and a girl, they're getting married. Hopefully they're not a boy and a girl, they're getting married. The man gives the woman a ring, it's a שוה כסף shaveh kesef of the value of money, and says הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל harei at mekudeshes li b'taba'as zo k'das Moshe v'Yisrael, she accepts it, she receives it, and they are hereby betrothed, they are hereby married. Where do we know that if a man gives a woman an item of value, they're married? Where do we learn that from? Where does it say that you can create marriage through transfer of something of value? So the גמרא Gemara in קידושין Kiddushin, which we just made a סיום siyum on קידושין דף יומי Kiddushin Daf Yomi in the same room just a month ago, but in the beginning of קידושין Kiddushin, the גמרא Gemara learns, קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון kichah kichah m'sdei Ephron. The פסוק pasuk says that when a man gets married he takes a wife. And it says that Avraham buys the field from Ephron, so we learn marriage from this פרשה parsha, this negotiation. That is the least romantic thing I've ever heard. Where do we learn that a man and a woman who are in a marriage and want to live their lives together and build a future and have children and create a destiny that they can create the marriage through the transfer of value? Because Avraham had to negotiate with this used car salesman sleazy lowlife עשו Eisav, Ephron. That's where we learn it from? Says a lot of וורטלעך vertlach and דברי תורה divrei Torah. I'll give you one for your grandchildren's שבע ברכות sheva brachos. You know why we learn it from here? Because you know what Avraham and Ephron had in common when they finished this negotiation? Each one thought they got the better end of the deal. Each one felt, \"what a steal.\" \"What a deal I got.\" Avraham said, \"מערת המכפלה Me'aras HaMachpelah? For my Sarah, where I will be with her for eternity, with the rest of the אבות והאמהות avos v'imahos, 400 שקל כסף shekel kesef? What a bargain!\" Ephron said, \"I can't believe that עברי Ivri paid me 400 שקל כסף shekel kesef for this cave. Wow, did I make out well with this.\" Each one walked away thinking, \"I got the better end of the deal.\" And that's our ברכה bracha, the חתן chassan and כלה kallah, is that each one should feel, \"Boy, did I marry up. Boy, did I get a better end of the deal. Boy, did I lock out here. Boy, am I fortunate and lucky.\" That's why we learn it from here. We also learn, Avraham could have said, \"You know, I took care of Sarah her whole life. I paid the credit card bill from the department stores, the mani-pedi, brought her flowers every week. I took care of her her whole life. Housekeeper at home, I took care... She took care of me. I don't want to save the emails. She took care of me too, but I took care of her, I took care of her her whole life. All right, Ephron wants to charge that's excessive, there's no way I'm paying that for real estate, I'm done.\" But you know what Avraham says? \"Til death do us part... I'm with it to the long haul. We're inseparable even in death.\" And what do we tell the חתן chassan and כלה kallah standing under that חופה chuppah? קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון kichah kichah m'sdei Ephron. You know, you're going to run into a roadblock, life's going to get hard. Why do we break a glass at the end of the wedding? Because even before you leave the חופה chuppah, we want to show you that things are going to break. Right now everything's amazing and they're amazing and they're perfect and they're adorable, isn't he sweet, isn't he cute, isn't he amazing... שבע ברכות sheva brachos, they're the greatest couple that ever happened, the greatest people that ever lived, they're the great... and there's amazing, everything's great. \"Hey great people, before you walk away from your חופה chuppah, things are going to break. Things are going to break. And what are you going to do then? When something breaks?\" So we tell the couple under the חופה chuppah, קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון kichah kichah m'sdei Ephron. Where do you learn about marriage from? That Avraham Avinu was in it all the way till the end. Even after Sarah was gone, he spared no expense to give her the proper burial. Because that doesn't mean that there aren't times then, divorce is also a מצוה mitzvah. There are times that divorce is also a מצוה mitzvah. There are times. But the חתן chassan and כלה kallah under the חופה chuppah, their attitude should be, \"We're in this like Avraham and Sarah, through מערת המכפלה Me'aras HaMachpelah, through קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון kichah kichah m'sdei Ephron.\" That's how long we're in it. That's, this is not, \"We'll give it a shot. We'll see how it goes. I turn in my car lease every three years, I upgrade my phone every two years, I do my whatever every couple years. We'll see if I like this model of a wife, of a husband. Maybe I have to turn it in. Maybe I have to exchange. Maybe I'll have to upgrade.\" Then don't get married. If you're already thinking about, \"I'll give it a shot, I'll see how it goes, we'll try it and if I don't like this model, I'll upgrade to the newest model.\" If that's your attitude, don't walk under the חופה chuppah. Because if you walk under that חופה chuppah, קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון kichah kichah m'sdei Ephron. Only step under that חופה chuppah if you're confident that you're in this all the way through to קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון kichah kichah m'sdei Ephron.So וישמע אברהם vayishma Avraham, he hears Ephron, and he takes the 400 שקל כסף shekel kesef, and he's... וישקול אברהם לעפרון vayishkol Avraham l'Ephron. If you look at רש\"י Rashi says, Ephron's name in this פסוק pasuk, וישקול אברהם לעפרון vayishkol Avraham l'Ephron, Ephron's name is missing what letter? ו Vav. It's missing a ו vav. לפי שאמר הרבה ואפילו מעט לא עשה l'fi she'amar harbeh v'afilu me'at lo asah. Because you know Ephron? Ephron over... overpromised and under-delivered. חז\"ל Chazal tell us אמור מעט ועשה הרבה emor me'at v'aseh harbeh. Say little and do much. Ephron was one of those people who said much and did little. We all know in our lives the two types of people. There are two types of people in this world. There are the people who don't say anything, but they get a lot done. The people who talk and talk and talk and talk and talk, and when the push comes to shove, it's time to put up, I can't, I would, I wanted to.אמור מעט ועשה הרבה Emor me'at v'aseh harbeh. חז\"ל Chazal say talk little and do much. Ephron was אמור הרבה ועשה מעט emor harbeh v'asah me'at. And because of that, שנתל ממנו שקלים גדולים שאין כן תרומה, נאמר עובר לסוחר, משקע בשקה בכל מקום, יש מקום ששקלים גדולים שאין כן תרומה shenital mimenu shkalim gedolim she'ein kein trumah, ne'emar over lasocher, mishka bashaka b'chol makom, yesh makom she'shkalim gedolim she'ein kein trumah. יש להבין, ונדרש הרב דרוק, מדוע נחסר מעפרון אות Yesh l'havin, v'nadrash HaRav Druk, madua nechsar me'Efron os. Why do we take a letter out of his name? נאמר הוציא דוקא את האות ו' Ne'emar hotzi davka es ha'os vav. And if you're going to take a letter out of his name, why the letter ו vav? Now that question is not so compelling because there weren't a lot of options. If you take the פ pey out of his name, it's Eron. If you take the ר resh out of his name, it's Efon. Like the only letter that's disposable is ו vav. So, that question is not so compelling because it's the only disposable letter in the name was the letter ו vav. You could spell it מלא malei or חסר chaser with the ו vav or without. But the question is, why is this מידה כנגד מידה midah k'neged midah? Ephron is some lowlife, big talker, overpromising and underdelivering, so the Torah records his name without the ו vav. Why? Why?Says Rav Druk, יש לדבר שמצינו בגמרא כתובות, שמבאר את הפסוק ואתם הדבקים בהשם אלקיכם חיים כלכם היום yesh l'davar shematzinu b'Gemara Kesubos, shem'va'er es ha'pasuk, v'atem hadveikim b'Hashem Elokeichem chayim kulchem hayom. The גמרא Gemara says, the גמרא Gemara in כתובות Kesubos tells us we have a פסוק pasuk. And the pasuk tells us that a ייד Yid should live their life being דבוק להשם davuk l'Hashem. משך חכמה Meshech Chochmah says, how do you fulfill דבקות dveikus? דבקות Dveikus, cling to God, cleave to God. What does that mean? So you know what the משך חכמה Meshech Chochmah says it means? What is the word דבק devek in Hebrew, modern Hebrew? Glue. ואתם הדבקים בהשם אלקיכם V'atem hadveikim b'Hashem Elokeichem, דבקות dveikus, glue yourself to God. Attach yourself to God. We use this in our vernacular. New kid comes to school, middle of the year, transfers in, has one friend in the school. What does that friend say on the first day? Stick with me. Stick with me. Sit with me in the dining room, in the cafeteria, sit next to me in class. Stick with me, you'll be fine. Stick with me, you'll be fine. Hashem says, ואתם הדבקים בהשם אלקיכם v'atem hadveikim b'Hashem Elokeichem, be like glue. Stick with me, you'll be fine. That's דבקות dveikus, says the משך חכמה Meshech Chochmah. זאגט רב מאיר שמחה מדוינסק Zogt Rav Meir Simcha miDvinsk, how do you fulfill דבקות dveikus? It דבקות dveikus is Hashem saying, attach yourself to me. דבק Devek, glue. Stick with me, you'll be fine. You'll be fine.But the גמרא Gemara wonders, וכי אפשר לדבוק בשכינה? הלא כתיב, השם אלקיך אש אוכלה הוא v'chi efshar lidbok b'Shechinah? Halo ksiv, Hashem Elokecha eish ochlah hu. The pasuk says Hashem is an all-consuming fire. You're going to attach yourself to the omnipotent, infinite creator of the universe who is an all-consuming fire? וכי אפשר לדבוק בשכינה v'chi efshar lidbok b'Shechinah? Is it really possible? אלא Ela, says the גמרא Gemara, how do you fulfill the mitzvah of דבקות dveikus? המשיא בתו לתלמיד חכם, ועושה פרקמטיא לתלמידי חכמים, ומהנה תלמידי חכמים מנכסיו, מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו מדבק בשכינה Hamasi bito l'talmid chacham, v'oseh pragmatia l'talmidei chachamim, v'mahaneh talmidei chachamim minechasav, ma'aleh alav ha'kasuv k'ilu midavek b'Shechinah. You know how you fulfill דבקות dveikus? Marry your daughter off to a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham. Marry your daughter to a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham. Find a good שידוך shidduch where the son-in-law is a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham. I would even suggest marry your son to a יראת שמיים yiras shamayim, a righteous woman, in both directions. Do business with תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim. מהנה תלמידי חכמים Mahaneh talmidei chachamim. Take care of תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim. Lavish תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim with gifts, take good care of them. Take good care of them. So מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו מדבק בשכינה ma'aleh alav ha'kasuv k'ilu midavek b'Shechinah. When you do that, you're attaching yourself to the closest thing you can to the שכינה Shechinah in this world. We don't have שכינה Shechinah in this world. And we believe that human beings are all fallible and they're mere mortals. But the more one masters Torah, the more they're married to Hashem, the more they can finish Hashem's sentences, the more they can represent Hashem in this world. So the closer you can come, דבקות dveikus, דבק devek, attach yourself to תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim.You know, we learned דוקא davka from this פרשה parsha. יפה שיחתן של תלמידי חכמים Yafa sichasan shel talmidei chachamim. The Torah takes enormous amount of real estate and space in our פרשה parsha to tell us the whole story of Eliezer, conversation, the שידוך shidduch, going, coming, repeating. Why? So much space, so much time for an event of history. It's not a הלכה halacha. Why? To learn from here, do you know how valuable even the שיחת חולין sichas chullin of תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim? Not only the שיעור shiur, not only to learn the Torah, but to שמועס shmooze. The opportunity to sit in the office, the גאון וראש ישיבה gaon v'rosh yeshiva. Opportunity, Thanksgiving weekend, we'll have Rav Schechter back every year, בעזרת השם b'ezras Hashem. Should be זאל זיין געזונט און שטארק zol zein gezunt un shtark. Thanksgiving weekend, the opportunity, not only the formal שיעורים shiurim but the conversations in between.So the גמרא Gemara says, how do you fulfill דבקות dveikus? We can't attach ourselves to Hashem, he's an אש אוכלה eish ochlah, he's an all-consuming fire. What's the closest we can come? Find righteous people. And I would expand this to say, I don't think it's so radical, find righteous צדיקים וצדקניות tzaddikim v'tzidkaniyos, men and women. How many people visited Rav Chaim, got a ברכה bracha from Rav Chaim? I know that many years ago, when I was in קרן ביבנה Keren B'Yavneh, you got a quick ברכה bracha from Rav Chaim. Who did you enjoy שיחת חולין sichas chullin with? Rebbetzin Kanievsky in the kitchen. Not only the young seminary girls, I was a young ישיבה בחור yeshiva bochur. You go get a ברכה bracha from her, and she would שמועס shmooze. Righteous men and women. That's to be מדבק בשכינה midavek b'Shechinah.But one of the examples the גמרא Gemara gives is עושה פרקמטיא לתלמידי חכמים oseh pragmatia l'talmidei chachamim. Favor doing business, commerce with תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim. With תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim. ויהי לעפרון היה אפשרות לדבוק בשכינה V'hinei l'Efron hayah efsharut lidbok b'Shechinah, שהרי יכול לעשות פרקמטיא עם תלמיד חכם ולהנות תלמידי חכמים מנכסיו sheharei yachol la'asos pragmatia im talmid chacham u'l'hanos talmidei chachamim minechasav. Ephron had a perfect, prime opportunity to fulfill this this doctrine of ואתם הדבקים בהשם אלקיכם V'atem hadveikim b'Hashem Elokeichem. אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu, the spokesman of ethical monotheism, אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu who's radically transforming the world, introducing the belief in the one and only Hashem, and he comes to you to buy your real estate? Give him a discount. Give him off. Certainly, give him a fair deal. Run to take care of him. Avram don't come to me, I'll come to you. I know you're just getting up from shiva, I'll take care of all the paperwork, I'll take care of the realtor fee, I'll take care of the, and I'm giving you not only the market value, I'm getting you even a better deal because I have the chance for an אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu for who you are and the difference that you're making. But instead of doing that, what does he do? He extorts Avram. He makes him overpay. And because of that, he loses the letter ו vav. Why the letter ו vav? הוציאו את האות ו' משמו בשני אופן. באופן אחד יש לומר, כי אות ו' הוא ו' החיבור. היה אפשרות להתחבר לדבוק בשכינה. Hotziu es ha'os vav mishmo b'shnei ofan. B'ofan echad yesh lomar, ki os vav hu vav ha'chibur. Hayah efsharut l'hischaber lidvok b'Shechinah. The letter ו vav more than any letter in the alphabet, the letter ו vav, ו vav is the ו החיבור vav ha'chibur. The ו vav is what creates attachment. The ו vav links this and that. The ו vav means and. The ו vav creates connection. Ephron had the chance to connect, to cling, to cleave, to fulfill דבקות dveikus if he would have done the proper business deal with Avram. He didn't. Because he didn't, he didn't do פרקמטיא pragmatia with a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, he lost the letter ו vav, he lost the ו החיבור vav ha'chibur. A beautiful insight of Rav Yisrael Meir Druk in his new ספר sefer, להבות אש Lahavos Eish. Ephron forfeited the letter ו vav because he forfeited the opportunity to do פרקמטיא pragmatia with a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham. We all want Hashem, we want a connection with Hashem. And we can. But we can also connect with the closest we can get to Hashem.I say in the אמונה שיעור emunah shiur all the time. And it's not my own thought, I forgot where I first read it or heard it. You know, in the example, sometimes you lose a connection on your phone. People panic. No Wi-Fi, no connection. They panic. Have to be connected, have to be connected. And you're in a place that you have no connection, and then you find somebody that you're with, they're on a different service and they're connected. What do you say to them? Please, could you turn your phone into a hotspot? Turn your phone into a hotspot so I can connect through you. Sometimes when it comes to connecting to Hashem, we have no service. We have no connection. We have no bars, or we have one bar and we're struggling to connect. When you come to a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, when you host a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, when you sit and drink at the feet of a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, when you enjoy even שיחת חולין sichas chullin of a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, they become our hotspot. We can connect by attaching to them. That takes the letter ו vav. It takes a חיבור chibur. It takes a connection. It takes a דבקות dveikus. באופן נוסף יש לומר, האות ו' מרמז על הפסוק, ובו תדבק B'ofen nosaf yesh lomar, ha'os vav meramez al ha'pasuk, u'vo sidbak. Because he didn't take care of ובו u'vo, the ו vav, ובו תדבק u'vo tidbak, he lost the letter ו vav.Okay. Torah continues. Now, as I mentioned earlier, how does Avram react? He loses his loved one Sarah. He spends time negotiating with this low life. He buries or inters her properly. What comes next? פרק כ\"ד פסוק א' Perek kaf-daled, pasuk aleph. וְאַבְרָהָם זָקֵן בָּא בַּיָּמִים וַה' בֵּרַךְ אֶת אַבְרָהָם בַּכֹּל V'Avraham zakein ba bayamim, v'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol. And Avram was old, well on in years. That's how the ArtScroll translates. אברהם זקן Avraham zakein. זקן Zakein you understand, זה קנה חכמה zeh kanah chachmah. He's older. He started to collect social security. אברהם זקן Avraham zakein, he got a discount at the movie. זקן בא בימים zakein ba bayamim. And what is בא בימים ba bayamim though? That's a funny expression. בא בימים Ba bayamim. So we already said, the זוהר Zohar. בא בימים Ba bayamim means our days come and testify how we filled them, what we did in them. And Avram's days testified well. והשם ברך את אברהם בכל v'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol. Hashem blessed Avram בכל bakol. What does it mean he gave him everything? What's the בכל bakol that he gave Avram? So חז\"ל Chazal say it doesn't mean a son. We already know he had a son, he already had Yitzchak. Doesn't mean a daughter? בת Bas. בכל Bakol, גמטריא gematria, a בת bas, he had a daughter, does it mean? What does it mean בכל bakol? We know that this בכל bakol is something special that Avram has. Avram takes the כל kol that he has, whom does he give it to? Yitzchak. Who does Yitzchak give the ברכה bracha of כל kol to? Yaakov. We say this every time you בענטש bench. בכל, מכל, כל Bakol, mikol, kol. בכל Bakol is this pasuk, והשם ברך את אברהם בכל v'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol. And with Yitzchak it says he gave him מכל mikol. And with Yaakov it says, בכל מכל כל bakol mikol kol. כל Kol. So what is this כל kol? What is this treasure? What is this ברכה bracha, what is this gift that Avram had, he gave it to Yitzchak, and he gave it to Yaakov?Is that advertisement for that expensive watch, Patek Philippe, I don't know how to pronounce it even. I don't know how to pronounce it. I have no תאוה taiva for it and I can't afford it. But there's a great ad. It says, you never own one, you just hold it for the next generation. I don't know why that's a great ad, because every family only ever needs to buy one. I would think it would say, you love yours, buy one for every member of your family. But they don't need my opinion, they didn't ask my opinion. It's a great ad. You don't know, you never own it, you just hold on to it for the next generation. So this כל kol is a ברכה bracha that Avram has, and he just watches it and protects it to give to Yitzchak, to give to Yaakov. What is it and why do we want it? We ask Hashem, הרחמן הוא יברך אותנו Harachaman hu yevarech osanu. We say in the end of בענטשן benching, בכל מכל כל bakol mikol kol. Hashem give us a piece of the כל kol. בכל מכל כל bakol mikol kol, give us some of this כל kol. What is this כל kol? What is it that we want, what is it that they had? We spoke about it in the past, you could listen online. But this year, the Gemara בבא מציעא דף פ\"ז Bava Metzia daf pey-zayin says כי עד אברהם לא היה זקנה ki ad Avraham lo hayah ziknah. Why is the Torah here testifying, אברהם זקן בא בימים Avraham zakein ba bayamim. Is it good or bad being a זקן zakein? Both. The answer is yes. It's good and bad. On the one hand, we דאווען daven. On the one hand we דאווען daven, we say in סליחות slichos, we say on יום כיפור Yom Kippur, אל תשליכנו לעת זקנה al tashlicheinu l'eis ziknah. Never consider me a זקן zakein. Don't dismiss me, don't give up on me. Don't fail believing in me. Don't let me ever see myself as a זקן zakein who's done, who's finished, who's complete. Got to always be hungry. Always moving, always growing. Best is always yet to come. On the one hand. On the other hand, the Torah here seems to observe fondly, ואברהם זקן בא בימים v'Avraham zakein ba bayamim. Avram pleasantly reached the age of זקנה ziknah. So the גמרא Gemara בבא מציעא Bava Metzia says, you know, that until Avram, there was no such thing as a זקן zakein. You know what happened? Your hair never turned gray, it never fell out. Your muscles didn't atrophy, your joints didn't give up on you, your organs didn't begin to fail, your eyesight didn't start to go, you can keep going over here. This is so uplifting, no? So uplifting. You never got wrinkles. Anyone else here, anyone else? Your hearing didn't start to go. Okay, that's enough. That's enough for today. Until Avram, all of your faculties, all of your youthfulness, all of your complexion, all of your hairline, all of your hair color, it all remained. It all remained. So why did it change with Avram? Says the גמרא Gemara, מחמת שדומים במראית פניהם machmas she'domim b'mar'is pneihem, because Avram and Yitzchak looked identical. ומי שהיה צריך את אברהם פונה ליצחק U'mi shehayah tzarich es Avraham poneh l'Yitzchak. Sometimes someone thought they were talking to Avram, they were talking to Yitzchak. And sometimes someone needed to talk to Yitzchak and they were talking to Avram. בא אברהם וביקש מהשם שיביא זקנה לעולם Ba Avraham u'bikesh me'Hashem sheyavi ziknah la'olam. Avram came and said to Hashem, Hashem, could you help out a little bit over here? I look like a teenager. I'm a hundred years old and I look like a teenager. I look the same as my son, people confuse us all the time. Can you let me age gracefully? Let me embrace aging. It's a ברכה bracha. That's why the Torah says, ואברהם זקן בא בימים v'Avraham zakein ba bayamim. Hashem answered him in the affirmative. Growing old is a ברכה bracha. It's a ברכה bracha. Certainly when you consider the alternative. It's a ברכה bracha. We have a member of the שול shul who in a couple of weeks is going to turn 95. בלי עין הרע Bli ayin hara, he's healthy and spry and amazing and as involved in the leadership of the שול shul as he's ever been. As he's ever been. We talked about maybe he should be president again. I said, what are you trying to make Joe Biden look young? What are you? He's young. So, you ask him how he's doing, he says, I'm not going to die young. He's turning 95. Somebody said, he told me somebody recently wished him she'yehiyeh לו אריכות ימים she'yihiyeh lo arichus yamim. He said, done. The ברכה bracha's already been fulfilled. What a ברכה bracha. So ואברהם זקן בא בימים v'Avraham zakein ba bayamim. Lean in, lean into it. Don't try, you're not fooling anyone. The botox and coloring your hair and I'm talking to the men. You're not fooling it. Women, I'm not going near with that. You do whatever you want, whatever makes you feel good, whatever makes you feel young. But you're not fooling anyone. Lean into it. Avram Avinu davened for it. He davened for it. So embrace it. I'm not only a member of the club, I'm like the spokesman of the club. I'm the poster child of the club. So, I could say this. ובפירוש אחר, יש לומר שביקש אברהם אבינו על הזקנה, כי עד תקופת אברהם אבינו האנשים היו גיבורי חיל, שהיו הולכים בגיל מאה ועשרים וחמש באותה מרץ כמו בגיל שלוש עשרה. U'v'perush acher, yesh lomar she'bikesh Avraham Avinu al ha'ziknah, ki ad tkufas Avraham Avinu ha'anashim hayu giborei chayil, she'hayu holchim b'gil meah v'esrim v'chamesh b'osah meretz k'mo b'gil shlosh esrei. You could be 125 and you had the same vigor and the same energy and the same passion and the same drive as when you were 25 years old, 32 years old. ולא היה הכנה לקראת הפטירה כאשר ידענו היום. V'lo hayah hachanah likras ha'petirah ka'asher yad'anu hayom. And how what happened? You were young, you were, you weren't young. In age you were older, but in vigor, in health, in appearance, you looked young. Abruptly a person would drop dead. There was no illness, there was no aging. They just disappeared. There was no chance to say goodbye. There was no preparation. There was no utilizing those older years to be able to transfer, transform values. ולכן ביקש אברהם אבינו על הזקנה שכאשר האדם רואה כי הוא הולך ומזקין, מרגיש בעצמו שעם כל זה, הוא הולך ומתקרב יום יום אל הקבר. ומה שהיה חולף, חולף ויסוד האדם. V'lachein bikesh Avraham Avinu al ha'ziknah she'ka'asher ha'adam ro'eh ki hu holeich u'mazkin, margish b'atzmo she'im kol zeh holeich u'miskarev yom yom el ha'kever, u'mah she'hayah cholef, cholef vi'sod ha'adamah. You know what happens, you know what the benefit of age is? When you're young, you think you're immortal. You think you'll live forever, and you live that way. And when you get a little bit older, you start to reevaluate your priorities, reevaluate your time, the difference you want to make, the message you want to leave, the impact that you want to have, the legacy that you want to create. זקנה Ziknah is a beautiful thing. Aging is a ברכה bracha. It's a ברכה bracha. And he adds Rav Druk, that with aging, you have less of that drive and that passion and the energy and the יצר הרע yetzer hara, you're able to live a little bit more with serenity and with peace. The things that made you lose your cool when you were young, now you realize they're not so important. They're not worth losing your cool over. They're not worth forfeiting your happiness about. זקנה Ziknah can be a ברכה bracha. If a person leans into it and embraces it like Avram Avinu davened for it, ואברהם זקן בא בימים v'Avraham zakein ba bayamim, it can be a, it can be a ברכה bracha. And here finally we move over to some other ideas. The רחמי שיפקה Rachmei Shifka, the אמרות טהורות Amros Tehoros says the following idea. אברהם זקן בא בימים, הוא כותב את הזהר הקדוש, הרב שיצר, אף על פי שכבר היה אברהם זקן ושבע ימים, עם כל זה היה נדמה לו כאילו רק עכשיו החל לעבוד את השם יתברך. Avraham zakein ba bayamim, hu koseiv es haZohar haKadosh, haRav Shitzer, af al pi she'kvar hayah Avraham zakein u'svea yamim, im kol zeh hayah nidmeh lo k'ilu rak achshav heichel la'avod es Hashem yisbarach. He has a little bit of a different idea, a different perspective. He says Avram zakein, even though Avram is a zakein, even though according to the calendar he's an old man, בא בימים ba b'yamim, בבימים מועטים, שרק מקרוב החל לעבוד את השם יתברך. b'yamim mu'atim, she'rak mikarov heichel la'avod es Hashem yisbarach. He came by days, like every day was the first day. He put on his טלית ותפילין tallis u'tefillin like he was a בר מצוה bar mitzvah boy. Avram zakein, he might have been old in years, but he was בא בימים ba bayamim. He brought the enthusiasm that every day was like a new day, the first day. He put on his טלית ותפילין tallis u'tefillin like a בר מצוה bar mitzvah boy, the very first time he was putting on טלית ותפילין tallis u'tefillin. He talked his attitude to Sarah before she died, they were married, they celebrated the 70th, 80th anniversary. And he celebrated his every 80th anniversary, acted like a newlywed in שנה ראשונה shanah rishonah. He was a זקן zakein, but בא בימים ba bayamim, like every day was new, every day was the first day. He quotes, he continues the אמרות טהורות Amros Tehoros by quoting the אב שלום Av Shalom. אברהם זקן בא בימים, והשם ברך את אברהם בכל Avraham zakein ba bayamim, v'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol. Says ברוך אתה בבואך, וברוך אתה בצאתך Baruch ata b'voecha, u'varuch ata b'tzeitzecha. חז\"ל Chazal learn in Gemara Bava Metzia, הלוואי שתהא יציאתך מן העולם בלא חטא כביאתך לעולם halevai she'tehei yetziascha min ha'olam b'lo cheit k'viascha la'olam. A person would leave this world as pure and innocent and sin-free as when we enter it. And that's the פשט pshat. Avraham zakein, even when he was a zakein, he was בא בימים ba bayamim, יציאתך כביאתך yetziascha k'viascha. He was בא נשאר בטהרתו ba nish'ar b'taharoso. Even though he was a זקן zakein, he still was innocent and pure and sin-free. That was Avram Avinu's greatness. Avram Avinu's greatness.פרק כ\"ד פסוק י\"ד Perek kaf-daled pasuk yud-daled. So now he realizes, I'm an old man. If Sarah died, who's next? It's time to make preparations. The preparations are not just meeting with the estate attorney. Preparations are not just figuring out your estate and your assets. Preparations are not about setting up your trusts, revocable and irrevocable. Your your not just about calculating how much money you're leaving to Bokeriton Synagogue, generously, a lot, to Eretz Yisrael, of course. But it's about realizing the future. The שידוך shidduch. The גדולי ישראל Gedolei Yisrael left a צוואה tzava'ah, an ethical will. How could I leave this world, Avram Avinu said, without seeing who Yitzchak's going to marry, who Yitzchak's going to choose? What kind of Shabbos table they're going to have? What kind of אייניקלעך eniklach they're going to give me? How could I leave this world without going to a חומש Chumash party? So what does he do next? He goes to set up Yitzchak. Says the pasuk, פרק כ\"ד פסוק י\"ד Perek kaf-daled, pasuk yud-daled. He sends Eliezer, who's in charge of his household. He makes him swear. He makes him swear. This I said, I think last year or two years ago. He's מושל moshel by, Eliezer's trusted with his whole estate. And we know that וגדלה שמך ואברכך, השם v'agadelah shmecha va'avarechecha, Hashem made him very, very, very wealthy. He's on the Forbes 400, Avram Avinu. And who was the CFO of his whole world? Eliezer. And when it came to Eliezer, when it comes to go finding a שידוך shidduch for Yitzchak, he makes Eliezer swear. When it came to managing his fortune, he said, here are the passwords. Here are the passwords, here are the codes, here's everything you need. Here's everything. Here's everything. I forgot which גדל gadol once observed about too many frum Jews in America. He said, you know, when it comes to their housekeeper, they lock their jewelry in the safe, they don't trust them, but they give the children and say, you raise the children while I'll be out and away. When it should be the opposite. The safe I'll leave unlocked, but my children, here are the passwords. Swear on a ספר תורה sefer Torah that you're going to take good care of them. We get it backwards. Avram Avinu said when it came to my whole, my assets, my things, here are the passwords, I trust you. But my son, when it comes to my son, you need to swear on a sefer Torah. And we have it backwards. We lock the jewelry in the safe, we hide the cash in the ספרים sfarim under the mattress, but the kids, we say, yeah, you raise them. You got it. You take it. You take it. We have it backwards.So Eliezer goes on this mission and he makes a deal. ויאמר הנערה אשר אמר אליה הטי נא כדך ואשתה ואמרה שתה וגם גמליך אשקה, אותה הוכחת לעבדך ליצחק ובה אדע כי עשית חסד עם אדוני V'hayah ha'na'arah asher omar eileha hati na kadech v'eshteh, v'amrah shtei v'gam gmalecha ashkeh, osah hochachta l'avdecha l'Yitzchak, u'vah eida ki asisa chesed im adoni. The woman who will say, lower your jar, your jug and I'll drink, and shall say, and she'll say, and also your camels I'll give to drink, that will be the one I'll know she's the one. She's the right one. Eliezer reaches out to Hashem, he makes this deal with Hashem. He doesn't say to Hashem, he doesn't say to Hashem, I need to see a picture on the resume. Is she a size two, three, four max? He doesn't say. He doesn't say what's the יחוס yichus? What's the יחוס yichus? Who is she in? Who is who is her זיידע zeide? Who's her באבי bobbe? He doesn't ask for the יחוס yichus, he doesn't ask for the dress size, he doesn't say, are the parents going to support? He's say my client, my Yitzchak is one of the מצוינים metzuyanim. They're not going 50/50. She's going to have to pay everything, all in, plus the apartment. Eliezer doesn't say any of that. What does he ask for? She's got to be kind, compassionate, giving, good, generous. She'll give me to drink and give my camels to drink and the rest will fall into place. The money, the יחוס yichus, the dress size. And yet two pesukim later, Eliezer now meets the one and what does he observe about Rifka? He said, wow, והנה טובת מראה מאד v'hinei tovas mar'eh me'od. She's a looker. She's beautiful. It's a beautiful woman. The same who a moment ago said, looks don't matter, money doesn't matter, יחוס yichus doesn't matter. Hashem, just make her generous with me and with the camels. And now fast forward and what does Eliezer observe? טובת מראה מאד tovas mar'eh me'od. She's not just טובת מראה tovas mar'eh. טובת מראה מאד tovas mar'eh me'od. Magnificently beautiful. I thought he just said it's the inside that matters.So listen to the כלי יקר Kli Yakar. Eliezer tested Rifka's quality of generosity and kindness. חז\"ל Chazal say, זאגט דער כלי יקר, כל כלה שעיניה יפות אין לה גופה צריך בדיקה Zogt der Kli Yakar, kol kallah she'eineha yafos ein lah gufah tzarich bedikah. If the bride has beautiful eyes, you don't have to look any further. The bride has beautiful eyes. You look into her eyes, they're beautiful, they're hazel, they're green, she has beautiful sparkly eyes, you don't have to look any further? Is that going to be the new thing in שידוכים shidduchim? Don't include a picture on the resume, just her eyes. Just the eyes. Her on a בורקה burqa. Just put a picture of her in a בורקה burqa. כל כלה שעיניה יפות אין לה כל גופה צריך בדיקה Kol kallah she'eineha yafos, ein lah kol gufah tzarich bedikah. Says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, that can't be what it means. Because there are plenty of less attractive brides, I'm reading to you from the כלי יקר Kli Yakar. There are plenty of less attractive brides with beautiful eyes. And how could Chazal call for the examination of external beauty? I thought we say שקר החן והבל היופי sheker ha'chein v'hevel ha'yofi. Who was that written about, by the way? The מדרש Midrash tells us אשת חיל eishes chayil is Avram's הספד hesped for Sarah. You go פסוק pasuk by פסוק pasuk, each one is Avram talking about his Sarah. The מדרש Midrash on משלי Mishlei says this was Avram's הספד hesped for Sarah. So here, when it comes to this Yitzchak's mother, שקר החן והבל היופי sheker ha'chein v'hevel ha'yofi, false is charm, vain is beauty, אשה יראת השם היא תתהלל ishah yiras Hashem hi sishallal, that's all that matters. And now Eliezer says, true, but she's טובת מראה מאד tovas mar'eh me'od. She's really beautiful. True, but she has beautiful eyes, I don't have to look any further. What's meant? Listen to the כלי יקר Kli Yakar says. He said, you know what it means? כל כלה שעיניה יפות Kol kallah she'eineha yafos doesn't mean she has beautiful sparkly eyes. It means does she see the world generously? To have beautiful eyes means does she have a beautiful outlook on the world. Does she see חסד chesed opportunities? Does she see a chance to make a difference? Does she see the world as inviting her to influence it? What it means to have beautiful eyes is to have a beautiful outlook, a beautiful perspective. And that's what Eliezer is commenting. טובת מראה מאד tovas mar'eh me'od, she has a beautiful outlook on the world, not she's a beautiful girl, a beautiful woman. He thought that too, that's why he tried to steal her for his own son. But it means טובת מראה מאד tovas mar'eh me'od, she has a גשמאק geshmak outlook on the world. She has an incredible view. She's generous. She gives the benefit of the doubt. She sees people favorably. She loves to run to do חסד chesed. She intuits doing kindness. She's a giver. She cares. She wants to do good. She wants to do good. And that's why the גמרא Gemara בבא מציעא Bava Metzia says, כל המרחם על הבריות בידוע שהוא מזרעו של אברהם אבינו kol ha'merachem al ha'brios b'yadua she'hu mizaro shel Avraham Avinu. This מידה middah, this character trait we inherit from רבקה אמנו Rivka Imeinu, kindness and generous generosity. That's what it means to be a ייד Yid, to be a Jew. יחזקאל of קאשמיר Yechezkel of Kushmir, why did Eliezer still need to see Rifka pass the test about giving the camels the drink? A miracle happened. What did he observe? What happened? She bent down and what happened? Instead of having to drop the bucket and make it to the bottom of the well and use all that energy to lift it, she saw the water rose miraculously. Eliezer should have said, good luck. Enough. Seal the deal. Shadchan, we're in. We're in. But he still had to wait for her to see, you drink and your camels drink. Why? If you see Hashem himself do a miracle, you still need to see? So he answers, miracles can happen for someone. They can have tremendous אמונה emunah, but they have to do חסד chesed. They have to do חסד chesed. חסד Chesed. They have to show that generosity. They have to show that kindness. They have to have that that quality. They have to be willing to make a difference. הנערה טובת מראה מאד Ha'na'arah tovas mar'eh me'od. The אוצר פלאות התורה Otzar Plaos HaTorah, a good friend, our old friend coming back, the אוצר פלאות התורה Otzar Plaos HaTorah says about this. How old was Rifka when this happened? בסדר עולם תניא שהיה רבקה בת שלוש שנים כשנישאה ליצחק. וכן כותב רש\"י Seder Olam Tanya, shehayah Rivka bas shalosh shanim k'shenise'ah l'Yitzchak. V'chein koseiv Rashi. She was three years old. כי בשנה שנעקד יצחק נולדה רבקה Ki b'shanah she'ne'ekad Yitzchak noldah Rivka. Because when יצחק Yitzchak was being offered on the altar is the year that Rifka was born. יצחק Yitzchak was how old? עקידת יצחק Akeidas Yitzchak? 37. He waited three years after the עקידה Akeidah to find his wife. So how old was she? Three. שנאמר ויהי יצחק בן ארבעים שנה בקחתו את רבקה, נמצא רבקה נישאה בת שלוש שנים She'ne'emar vayehi Yitzchak ben arbaim shanah b'kachto es Rivka, nimtza Rivka nise'ah bas shalosh shanim. ואם תאמר, איך יצאה לשאוב מים V'im tomar, eich yatz'ah lish'ov mayim? How can a three-year-old go to the well? They can't even see over the wall of the well. שהרי דורות הראשונים בת שלוש שנים כבת עשר שנים בדורות הללו She'harei doros ha'rishonim bas shalosh shanim k'vas eser shanim b'doros ha'lalu. Because the three-year-old then was the equivalent of the ten-year-old today. מכל מקום בת ג' ראויה לביאה Mikol makom bas gimel re'uyah l'viah. That is the opinion of the מדרש Midrash. I'll tell you a story when my, one of my daughters was a little girl, seven, eight years old. We got a call from school that she was doodling that day, not paying attention, she got in trouble. So she came home from school, I still vividly remember, יוכבד Yocheved and I sat with her in the backyard and we said, what happened in school today? We got a call. So she started crying. She started crying. And she said, you know, I got in trouble. I was doodling, I wasn't paying attention. We said, how could you doodle, how could you not pay attention, you're learning Torah. So she looked up and she said, she said, אבא Aba, when my teacher says things that don't make sense, I stop listening. I said, what did your teacher say that didn't make sense? didn't make any sense. Said my teacher told me that Rivka was three years old when she got married. And it doesn't make sense. Three-year-olds don't get married. So if my teacher is going to say silly things, I stop listening.You ever worry about your child but have נחת nachas from them in the same moment?The truth is the burden wasn't on my daughter. Because there's a מדרש medrash that says it, doesn't mean that's the מדרש medrash that we have to teach to little children. Who says that's the מדרש medrash you have to teach? In the information age where children have access and are told to use their logic and rational thinking, and then you're going to deposit a מדרש medrash that even adults have to figure out, what does it mean exactly, was she three, was she really three, was the three the same then as it is now? תוספות יבמות Tosfos Yevamos, in the name of רבינו שמואל Rabbeinu Shmuel, הייתה בת ארבע עשרה שנה haita bas arba esrei shana. תוספות Tosfos says a tradition she was 14 years old and he proves it from a different חשבון cheshbon. שמואל החסיד Shmuel HaChasid. And he quotes here from the ספר כנפי יונה Sefer Kanfei Yonah on the ירושלמי Yerushalmi that quotes from, he has all these different opinions. How old was she exactly? Why am I telling you that? Because there's a lot of opinions. Where does it say that the teacher has to say she was three? When you're 30 years old, you could learn that מדרש medrash and try to figure it out. But we have to use our שכל seichel, what we teach our children also, not every מדרש medrash that's going to complicate.It's also hard to picture the sea split. But those are עיקרי אמונה ikrei emunah. That's a פסוק pasuk in the Torah. And that we believe השם Hashem did a miracle, the sea split. It's a מדרש medrash she was three. There's another מדרש medrash she was 14. There's another מדרש medrash she was a different age. Teach the מדרש medrash that will make children say, this makes sense to me. This is beautiful. And when they get a little bit older, you can teach the other מדרשים medrashim as well.Alright, ויצא יצחק לשוח בשדה Vayeitzei Yitzchak lasuach basadeh. He introduced the תפילת מנחה Tefillas Mincha. There's so much. I don't think I got through 50%. Barely scratched the surface of the פרשה parsha. It's an amazing פרשה parsha. There's a lot more to say about it. Please stay for a few more minutes. Gordon's going to hand out the תהילים Tehillim. We can finish תהילים Tehillim together. בעזרת השם B'ezras Hashem, we should hear בשורות טובות besoros tovos.
