Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov, welcome back to Living with Emunah. Good Erev Yom Tov, so glad that we are spending our final count up to Shavuos, Har Sinai, our final steps in ending up at the mountain together, preparing by living with Emunah. I want to thank our generous sponsors. The series is generously sponsored by Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella’s mother Dr. Ellen Schanzer. Morgans have just signed up to sponsor next year as well. So I want to express our endless and boundless gratitude to the Morgans for their incredible generosity and thank them for sponsoring the shiur this morning. Shiur is also co-sponsored by Susan and Charles Rosenstann in loving memory of Anna Kahn, Susan’s beloved mother on her first yahrzeit, a very special woman, woman of profound emunah and faith, and we miss her and wish a lot of comfort. Also, I want to thank last week we mentioned we were running low on our incredible caffeinated with kavana emunah cups, and we have anonymous sponsor, thank you so so much for the generosity, we deeply deeply appreciate it. Okay, we're going to start off as we always do with some great emails from you, then we'll dive back into the text together and get ready for the holiday of Shavuos and stand at the base of that mountain and receive that Torah from a place of profound emunah and faith together. So keep the emails coming, I love them, they inspire me, they motivate me, they're heartwarming to me, they take pressure off of me having to prepare a class, and they also again, they model for all of us manifesting and executing on emunah not only in concept and academically, but in practice. So here we go. Couple emunah, a lot of the emunah stories and emails have to do with the Hashkacha, the divine providence of clicking on the episode to hear exactly what you needed to hear when you were going through something. There’s nothing random, there’s nothing chance, there are no accidents. You click on something and you heard it exactly when you needed to hear it. So here’s one like that. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I do not really listen to your podcast. That was very good for me. Appreciate yeah, two thumbs up for honesty. That was good, good for humility, Baruch Hashem, we're learning Mesillas Yesharim, perek chaf beis we just finished today is all about humility, how to practice genuine, authentic humility. So I want to thank this author for helping me there. I don't really listen to your podcast, let's just make that clear. My wife however listens regularly. So when we were driving back from a Bar Mitzvah in Yerushalayim to our Ramat Beit Shemesh, wife suggested we listen to Behind the Bema interview with Zev Orenstein. I agreed, that was last week, Yom Yerushalayim episode, Zev Orenstein from Ir David. The interview was great, inspiring, but I had really been waiting patiently to share my reflections on the Bar Mitzvah during the journey. Basically guy's like I want to talk to my wife, she just wanted to listen to you, let's be clear I never listen to you, but like most men I had no choice and I had to listen to you. When I thought the episode had ended I paused the podcast and shared the following reflection. I must explain, I'm not a warm and fuzzy individual. That was pretty clear. The more cold, abstract, and technical the sugya, the more inspired it is for me. In any case, the mother of the Bar Mitzvah who lives in America had shared that they visited the Kotel. She told the boy to ask Hashem for anything he wished. That took me back to when I was six years old and visited the Kotel and diligently wrote my request and as instructed and put it in the Kotel. I had asked Hashem for my pet dog that had died to come back to life. Futile? As I matured, I thought so too. However, now many years later I reflect, it was about ten years later that I got another pet dog. I won't bore you with the details that were meaningful for me, but looking back it has become clear that my prayers were indeed answered. Yes, it was a long drive. So he was reflecting, the comment about going to the Kotel reminded him of his first time he went to the Kotel and he asked Hashem to bring his dog back and then later he got a new dog and he felt at least warm and fuzzy for the dog, if not for me. I had shared, it was over, then I pressed play and here are the next few words you say. Quote, Rabbi Brody, I sent you an article today that I saw, half of Americans say their soulmate is their pet. In truth, in truth I have no idea what you were thinking when you shared that. In truth, it probably should have been edited out of the podcast. Again, thank you for your honesty. For us in the car, for us in the car it was like Hashem saying yes you got it. Indeed the actions of the Jewish people are all interconnected even in the most insane ways, inane ways, to show Hashem cares about even the most minor things that affect you. Thank you and kol tuv. I’m only joking, I do appreciate his email and he is warm and fuzzy despite his insistence that he’s not and it was kind of him to write. But again I love these emails because he’s basically sharing this non-warm and fuzzy warm and fuzzy memory with his wife in the car about his dog and being six years old and for some reason and he’s right I have no idea why I brought that up to Rabbi Brody about this article I saw about people feeling closer to their pets than to their. right when he pressed play and needed to hear that and that memory and that was great. Here's another one maybe a little bit more. Lik'vod Rabbi Goldberg. First I want to begin my email with what you famously read as blah blah blah. I want to thank you for the Emuna Shiur blah blah blah blah. On that note this story just took place I said to myself how can I not share with Rabbi Goldberg. I work about 30 minutes from my house give or take with traffic. I prefer to leave myself 45 minutes to get home so that I am sure I am on time for my seven-year-old's bus, otherwise no one is home to greet her. On days that I don't get out on time, I panic and rush and have anxiety the entire way home thinking, I'm not going to make it in time, she'll be very nervous when she sees I'm not there. Today was one of those days I left with little time to spare. I got into my car, rushing and panicking and willing all the people on the road to get out of the way. I'd started today's Emuna Shiur on my way back into work, so when I turned on my car it automatically continued. The Rav was up to the part about, this was last week's shiur, Shivisi Hashem on the steering wheel. Remember I told you about my friend picked me up at the airport last week and he has taped on his steering wheel actually Ki Atah Imadi, you are with me from Perek Chaf Gimmel, Psalm 23 Hashem no matter where I go, no matter what I am doing, Ki Atah Imadi, whatever's happening in my life you are with me. So I mentioned last week's shiur how I got into his car and I saw tape to his steering wheel Ki Atah Imadi and we should tape that on our steering wheel on our refrigerator and our our mirror of our bathroom that all the places that we panic and get anxious and worry Hashem, you are with me. So this author writes, the Rav was up to the part about it being on the steering wheel. Now if that wasn't a message meant directly for me I don't know what was. I was already panicking that I would miss the bus, but I heard that story and I said, You know what Hashem knows I gotta be home if it's His will I'll get there on time. I had the most calm ride home, and yes, as I pulled into my driveway, my daughter's bus was pulling up. Thank you again feel free to share anonymously. So another two examples today, last week we talked about three unlikely sources of mussar and emuna. Remember what they were? The terrorist with the missiles that Hashem redirects and the JetBlue flight attendant who said the main thing the plane is working. And what was the third one? Oh, the non-religious waiter in the restaurant in Israel, HaBoss Shelcha L'ma'ala, our boss is is above. So that was last week's theme, this week's theme of these emails are turning on the Emuna Shiur and nothing to do with me, I just speak, I often don't even know what I'm going to say. And Hashem helps people press play when it's something that they need to hear and there are no coincidences. And nothing is chance. And whatever we choose to listen to and whatever we press play and whatever we're exposed to whatever we see is exactly what we're meant to perceive. There's a mishna in Pirkei Avos. It says דע מה למעלה ממך, know what is above you. עין רואה ואוזן שומעת וכל מעשיך בספר נכתבים the eye sees and the ear hears and all of your actions, all of your deeds are recorded in the sefer in the book. So classically, the mishna means to tell us that be careful what you do because everywhere you go and everything you do is being recorded. Now for many generations I'm sure Jews learned this mishna and said, yeah, not everything, can't see everything, doesn't hear everything, doesn't know everything. But now we know that there's Google cameras everywhere and there's yesterday I was talking to Yocheved, we have an air conditioning we need to replace, and then I go on my computer and all of a sudden I see ads for air conditioners. Because they're always listening. On your phone, on your computer, you're being listened to all the time and you're being watched all the time. Wherever you go whatever you do, in this room right now, on this campus, and Google Earth all over the universe, there are cameras. So our generation appreciates this mishna maybe more than any that came before, that דע מה למעלה ממך. L'havdil Hashem has cameras and microphones everywhere and you never escape and you're never alone and you're never innocent, you're never immune, He's listening, He's watching, and if you wouldn't do it in front of Him don't do it. If you wouldn't say it in front of Him don't say it because He's there and He's watching all the time וכל מעשיך בספר נכתבים. And that's in fact what many say what the process of our transition into the next world is, there is no heaven and hell in the imagery of our youth, like little angels with wings and then like the little devil with the pitchfork and then that's not what it looks like, fiery. Heaven and hell are Hashem sits you down and He presses play and says let's watch your life together. Every part of it. Including when you thought you were alone when you thought no one was listening, let's watch. Now we have the gift of editing. Editing is called teshuva. Teshuva is Hashem says I'm giving you access to the tape. There's only one copy. And if you like, you can edit out the parts that you don't want to sit and watch with Me, that you don't want to sit and listen to with Me, but there's an exercise to edit, you have to go through the process of teshuva, it has to be genuine and you can edit it out and then wouldn't it be amazing if by the end of our lives when we come upstairs Hashem says I'm going to press play and you say... Fantastic, where's the popcorn? So excited. I have no shame, I have no embarrassment, I have no hesitation in any part of this video, let's watch the whole thing, as opposed to my bar mitzvah video which I would never want anyone to see any part of. I'm just saying what I looked like and sounded like, all of us. I'm joking, but wouldn't it be amazing to have a video of our life that we were so proud to play in Times Square with no hesitation, as opposed to the video as it stands now where you would be mortified at the thought that others, including the Source of the Universe, would watch every part of it? And that's part of the inspiration, do teshuva. Grab the editing equipment, do teshuva, and decide what you want to edit out, what you want to repair. But that's the classic way the Mishna is understood, know that there is an eye in the sky, God is watching, God is listening, it's all being recorded, choose wisely, choose carefully. But the הייליגע בעל שם טוב, the holy Baal Shem Tov, he understood this Mishna differently, and he said דע מה למעלה ממך, know that above you is God, know that you don't live and operate in this world independently and in isolation, know that there is God above. He's pulling the strings, he's choreographing, he's curating your entire life. So ayin roah, what you see, you were meant to see, v'Ozen shoma'at, and what you hear, you were meant to hear, v'Chol ma'asecha, and how you react and how you respond and what you do as a result, b'sefer nechtavim, it's all being recorded. So if you overheard someone say, I'm going through a hard time, you can't pretend I didn't hear that, I don't want to get involved, I don't want to help, I don't want to know. If you heard, you were meant to hear. If you saw, you were meant to see. Now what are you going to do with it? What are you going to do with it? And the same is true for simple things like these two emails. If you pressed play and you were up to this in the podcast, there was a reason. You were meant to hear that, you were meant to watch that, you were meant to see that. And now what do I do with that? It's the difference between living mindfully or mindlessly, thoughtfully or thoughtlessly. Are you living your life saying, I'm processing everything I see and hear and I'm constantly trying to understand why I was meant to see and hear it, and how it's meant to improve me and make me better, what I meant to do with it, how I'm meant to react to it, or are you blindly just letting motion carry us through life? That's the difference. That's what these emails are telling us. I'll read one more quickly and then we'll get back into the sefer. I want to thank you for the weekly emuna shiur, blah blah blah. I listen every week, blah blah blah. I like when you read the emails that you get. When this happened to me, I thought right away I must email you. It's not a major story, something I would have reacted to very differently had I not been listening. I just graduated nursing school last week. Mazel tov. And our professors told us as soon as we get an email out with our authorization to test, we can then sign up to take the NCLEX, which is the board exam that certifies you to be a nurse. I'm in a frum nursing program, we have a group chat, very active. We were all very anxious to receive our authorization to test, so we can move along the process and take the final exam to become a nurse. This afternoon a girl excitedly wrote on the chat she received her ATT, authorization to test. Several girls responded they also did. I checked my email. I didn't see any email from the Board of Nursing. I panicked. I checked every one of my email accounts that exist. No email in any of my inboxes. I had water next to me and I started to say the bracha, and I thought Shehakol nihya bidvaro. Caffeinated with kavana, Shehakol nihya bidvaro. Everything is in Hashem's hands. I replayed the words from your podcast in my head. Things only happen if He wills it. I thought about it for a minute, and I became much calmer. I thought to myself, this is in Hashem's hands and I won't panic. And Baruch Hashem, two hours later I got the email. So again these emails, which there are many more I could share, but they're really all trying to reinforce the same idea, which is really all I do every Wednesday morning at 8:45, and yet for some reason you still show up. We just say the same thing every week which is, you could live a life where you're anxious and worried and panicking and frustrated and angry and envious and arrogant and, or you could live a life where you say, you know what, I didn't get the email yet. We'll see what's meant to be. I'm just a passenger on this ride called life. Let's see the next step in this adventure. You could live a life where you press play and I needed to hear that or this thing needed to happen or I'm calmer because it's just the way it goes. You could be driving home and you're scrambling and I hope that my daughter won't be waiting for me in the driveway or you could say, you know what, that won't make me get there any faster. That won't make me fly through the air. That won't make the lights all turn green. So you know what, I say whatever it is meant to be is will be, and I'm calm and I'm serene and I'm happy and I'm joyful and my blood pressure's low and I'm healthy. It's up to us. Do we want to put on our emuna glasses or get our emuna Lasik and see the world through the lens of emuna, see Hashem everywhere in our life, feel His presence, talk to Him, hear Him talking to us? Then look at the life that it gives. Look at each of these emails that says... Because I'm working on this, because I work out my emuna muscles, because I'm creating emuna muscle memory in which I react to these circumstances by staying calm, my life is better. That's what all these emails essentially say. So do we want to be able to write an email? Literally or figuratively? Do we want to get to that point to write that email? It's all up to us. You don't have to wait for someone else. It's all up to us. What response will we have? We can't always change our circumstance. We can't change our surroundings. We can't change the people around us. But we can change how we react and we can be responsible for how it makes us feel and we can own how we respond. And will we respond with that sense of emuna, with that attitude of emuna? And to a degree that's what this yom tov of Shavuot is really all about. We do not commemorate things in the past. It's not our religion. Other religions' holidays are all about—for example, in America, not only religions, in America, soon it will be what, Memorial Day? Independence Day, July 4th. Each of these days they, they commemorate something in history. July 4th, Independence Day, the day that we became independent. I feel bad because we're interviewing Rabbi Mirvis tonight, but the day that we became independent. He's the Chief Rabbi of England. Very funny. Okay, but July 4th, the day that we became, that we became independent. So how do you commemorate it? I don't know anyone in my entire life who sits down on July 4th and says, let's reflect on independence. What is independence? What does it mean to be independent? Let's work on our sense of independence. Let's evaluate and grow how independent we are. Let's express gratitude for independence. You know all I've ever heard anyone observe July 4th? Where's the barbecue? What's on sale? What time are the fireworks? Because a secular notion of, of time is linear and we're moving forward on that line and therefore events, holidays are just commemorating the past. And we commemorate them superficially. We commemorate them in no way connected to the theme or the energy of the holiday. But the Jewish notion of time is very different. Jewish notion of time is not a circle; if it were a circle, you'd meet yourself from last year and two years ago and three years ago. Jewish notion of time is a spiral. A spiral repeats the same cycle but it does so moving forward. It's a spiral. And we're repeating the same cycle and as we repeat that cycle we encounter dates on that calendar that have meaning and themes and energy. And the historical events that happened on them we commemorate them not as part of a past but the historical event revealed the energy and theme that is present that we can tap into in the present. So Shavuot, we're not commemorating that the Torah was given. What are we doing? We're back at the mountain. We're reaccepting it. We're accepting it anew. For some accepting it for the very first time. We're not commemorating. You commemorate with a sale. But rather we are re-experiencing. We are not reenacting. You know that's like the, what was that fair I went to as a kid? The Renaissance fair, right? We're not riding a horse and a knight and jousting and we're not, it's not a Renaissance fair. Shavuot we're not reenacting. Ooh let's put flowers all over the shul and let's reenact and let's pretend and who gets to be Moshe, who's Aharon, who's Chur, who's the mountain, who are the people, let's reenact. We're not reenacting. It's not that Shavuot fair. We are actually experiencing. We are engaging. We are accepting the Torah anew. This notion of time which we don't have time to develop entirely right now is not only true for the, the universal dates on our calendar that we all observe, it's also true for the individual and personal dates. Our birthday is not a day that we commemorate. 48 years ago I was born on this day let's celebrate it 48 years later. How? Whatever random way. What a birthday is is, wow, on this date those many years ago Hashem decided the world needed me. And I'm going to experience this day with a sense of mission and purpose and reevaluate why am I here and what difference do I make and gratitude that He created me. I'm going to be born again each birthday and evaluate. Mark Twain's famous comment: two most important days in a person's life are the day you're born and the day you find out why. So every birthday is reasking the why. The anniversary is not just a random date. Let's go out for dinner, let's exchange gifts, let's figure out how to write yet another card because it's an anniversary. Every anniversary you are getting married again. You are recommitting. You are offering vows anew. You are evaluating the state of your marriage and you're committing to that marriage again. By the way these dates are meaningful, not the Gregorian secular date. dates, those don't mean anything to us. As Jews, the dates that we follow are the Hebrew dates. You should know your Hebrew birthday, you should know your Hebrew anniversary, you should know the Hebrew date of Shavuos and Succos and Pesach and Chanukah and Purim, that's the calendar we live by and we've lived by and that's the calendar that gives us life, it sustained us, it's enabled our survival. We are a people of the moon, not of the sun, that is our calendar, that's ours, and we should know it. Know your Hebrew birthday, know your Hebrew anniversary, and know that on that day, Hashem decided the world needed you, your birthday. Know on that day, you went from being a half to becoming a whole, your Hebrew anniversary. And don't just commemorate it superficially and randomly, but tap into the energy of it. What did it mean to go from being a half to a whole? How do you compliment each other and bring out the best in each other? What does it mean? Who is your unit? What is your family? What is your family mission statement? What is an anniversary? That's what these days really mean. So Shavuos is not commemorating, it's a mistake, it's a terrible mistake, this notion of time that people think that we too have a linear, we're moving forward, so we're just celebrating something all the way from the past. No, we're in a spiral, we're revisiting these same dates and the date, it's not the event that matters, it's what the historical event revealed that we too experience on that same date. So Pesach's not about commemorating leaving Egypt, Pesach is about, oh, we left Egypt, so today's about freedom. What does freedom mean to me in תשפ"ג, in 2023? What is emancipation, what is liberty, what is freedom? And Succos, what does it mean to have faith and to know God is protecting me even when I'm exposed to the elements? What does it mean Chanukah to see everything as a miracle and nothing is natural? What does it mean Purim to read Hashem into the Megillah of my life even when His name doesn't appear? These historical events are not why we're commemorating it, these historical events gave us the code to decode what is the theme that is embedded in that day and time that we can tap into as well. So Shavuos I'm not commemorating the past. Shavuos, what are we doing? We're going to stand at the mountain Friday morning and to make sure we're not late, many of us stay up all night Thursday night because the original time we overslept. We don't want to oversleep again, so we stay up all night to ensure that we're up for Shavuos, which is also why we eat cheesecake because it will so upset our stomach that we'll be up all night and on time for Har Sinai. At least Ashkenazim, Sefardim can still sleep in, but Ashkenazim if they eat cheesecake will be up all night so we won't be late to Kabalas Hatorah to Har Sinai. And Friday morning, my friends, don't sleep late and don't stay in bed and don't sit it out and don't stay home and don't say, you know, I gotta go on Shabbos because that's Yizkor and I've got to say Yizkor, so I'll take off Friday. You want to be missing from the mountain? All the Jewish people are going to be standing at the mountain, arm in arm, hand in hand. Everyone together, unified, כאיש אחד בלב אחד. I promise you by Motzaei Shavuos we'll go back to bickering and fighting and calling each other's names and marginalizing and dismissing, but for a little bit we're going to stand there together. For a little bit we're going to hold each other's hands and our heart is going to have one beat. It's going to beat with one rhythm. כאיש אחד בלב אחד. There will be no differences, there will be nothing that divides us, whatever your opinion on judicial reform, whoever you want to vote for in the next presidential election, whatever you think about gun control or whether you're rooting for the he-- whatever you think, whatever yarmulke you wear, don't wear, we'll all be there together. You want to be missing? We're not just-- well, if it's a commemoration you could miss it. It's a commemoration. I can miss the Renaissance Fair. I'll sit it out. It's okay. Been there, done that, Renaissance Fair. I don't have to see that again. If that's all it was, sleep in. But it's not. We're getting together to go to the mountain again. We're going to stand there with our children and the Ba'al Korei is going to read the Aseres Hadibros, the Ten Commandments, and the first two are coming from God and the next eight are Moshe. And the Ba'al Korei's going to play that role and we are going to again, we're not commemorating, we're not reenacting. We are accepting the Torah. We're accepting that relationship with Hashem. Don't miss it. Don't sit it out. Don't be a spectator. Show up, be there, be ready, be excited, be excited. So mentioned this the other night at a Chuppah, beautiful Kotzker Rebbe. Kotzker Rebbe says about Shavuos, you know, the mountain, pasuk describes where did we stand? Tachtis hahar, underneath the mountain. We stood underneath the mountain. Why? The Gemara understands that God lifted the mountain and held it over our head and said, if you accept my Torah, mutav gevaldig, great, fantastic, v'im lav, but if not, sham tihei k'vuras'chem, you're surely going to die. That is some proposal. Imagine you date, the boy says to the girl, goes down on one knee and says, will you marry me? If you say yes, everything will be great, if not-- And you will surely die. If not, you will wither away, you will grow old and lonely, you will rue the day, you will regret this moment and you will surely die. Very, very romantic. God held the mountain over our head. We stood underneath that mountain. And that's the Midrash that we all know and we were all taught and we grew up with. כפה עליהם הר כגיגית, he held it like a barrel upside down over us, he threatened to drop it on our head, we accepted the Torah out of coercion. How do you reconcile that with Naaseh V'Nishmah? I thought we said we will do and we will listen. So that's all. But there's another image. The Tashbetz. God held the mountain over our head because it was a chuppah. And we stood under it as a loving bride and groom. And in fact, the Midrash tells us that the mountain was translucent, it was clear. You could see the sky. Just like today we have the custom of a bride and groom getting married outdoors, or in New York at least the wedding halls have a skylight right over where the chuppah goes so that you can see the sky. It's in fulfillment of the blessing that Hashem said to Avraham, go outside and look up and count the stars, that's how many your progeny, your children will be. And we wish and hope and pray for that young couple that they have many children, and so we get married under a clear sky, a first marriage at least. So the chuppah, you got this, girl, go ahead, you got it, come on, come on. Come on. I know, don't worry about it. No, no, forget it. You gotta pull, you gotta turn, it's a whole, forget it. Forget it. A for effort. A for effort. So Hashem held the mountain over our head not to drop it on our head, not to coerce us, not to threaten us. He held the mountain over our head, it was a chuppah. And in fact the Tashbetz, one of the talmidei, the students of the Maharam Mi'Rotenburg says all the customs we have at a wedding all derive from Har Sinai. This was a wedding, this was a union, this was a bond, this was a romantic betrothal between God and the Jewish people. And what do we say under the chuppah? The groom says to the bride, הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו כדת משה וישראל. Behold you are betrothed to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and the Jewish people. And the Kotzker Rebbe, the great Kotzker Rebbe points out: imagine the groom said to the bride, הרי את מקודשת בטבעת זו. You are betrothed with this ring according to the laws. Would they be married? He left off one word, made up of two little letters. הרי את מקודשת בטבעת זו. What word did he leave out? Li. To me. If he omits that word, they're not married. You could have the greatest smorg, carving station, charcuterie board, stuffed cabbage, sushi galore. You could have a four hundred piece orchestra and six of the most famous singers that exist. You could have flowers, I don't even know what words to use to describe your flowers. That would make Esty Lupan excited. You could have incredible flowers. You could have incredible flowers. But if you omit those two letters li, that word, Harei at mekudeshes, and all you say you don't, you omit the word li, says the Kotzker, you're not married. Why? What's so important about the word li? Harei at, behold you, are mekudeshes, betrothed li, to me. Because if you just say behold you are betrothed, you're betrothed to everyone else standing here. You're betrothed to the whole rest of the world. But that's not marriage. Marriage is li, me. I'm invested, I'm involved, I give of myself, I make myself vulnerable, I'm prepared to sacrifice selflessly for this relationship. There has to be a sense of li. And the Kotzker applied this not only to the marriage between people, basar vadam, human beings, but our marriage with Hashem the holiday of Shavuos. And that's what Shavuos is the yom hadin for. That's what Matan Torah, that's what it means to be back at the mountain and re-accepting the Torah means. Li. Am I involved? So many of us are going through the motions of Yiddishkeit. Come to shul, we eat kosher, we keep Shabbos, we spend gazillions of dollars to send our kids for a Jewish education. But are we really invested in a relationship with Hashem? Do we talk to Him, do we listen to Him, do we make time for Him? Just yesterday I was meeting with somebody who's going through a crisis of faith, struggling in their relationship with Hashem and I said, you know, the relationship with Hashem is no different than every other relationship we have in life. For a relationship to thrive, not just survive, it needs critical key ingredients. It needs time. If you neglect a relationship and you don't make time, then how healthy will the relationship be? It needs communication. Communication doesn't just mean that you listen attentively, actively. You listen not while you're scrolling or typing, but you listen fully present. But it also means that you talk. You have parties in a relationship who listen very well, but the other person says, "Nu, will you say something? Tell me, let me in. What's going on in your life? Tell me your thoughts, tell me your feelings, tell me..." Tell me, let me in. So communication in a relationship and a commitment to communication is not just listening, is also being willing to share, is vulnerability, is having confidence that the other can be your confidant. Is both directions. You need to make time, you need to communicate, you need to speak and learn the other's love language. And the same is true with Hashem. הרי את מקודשת לי. You're not just conceptually, academically, theoretically, not just checking off all the boxes, Shabbos, kosher, mikvah, davening, tuition, check check check check check. But there's the one thing I'm not giving you is I'm not giving you my heart. Rachmana liba boei. Her granddaughter's name Miriam Liba. She was born on lamed beis baomer. So she's Miriam Liba. But Liba, a Yiddish name, למד יוד בית אלף, not hei, Liba's a Yiddish name. Liba is from Rachmana liba boei. Chazal our rabbis say, Hashem wants your heart. Rachmana liba boei. We spoke about anniversary birthday before. So you come home and you throw the chocolate and the card and the flowers in front of the spouse and you mumble happy anniversary. Spouse says, excuse me? What? You say, what's the problem? Check check check. Flowers check, card check, chocolates check, happy anniversary check. And the other person says, Liba boei. I don't want those things. I want your heart. I want your emotion, I want the connection, I want the romance, I want the energy. And Hashem is no different. I don't just want your check marks. I want your heart. Rachmana liba boei. Lee, mekudeshes lee. Are you invested? Are you involved? Are you present? Are you making time? Are you communicating? Are you speaking? Are you vulnerable? Are you sharing? And are you listening actively, intently? That's what Hashem wants. Rachmana liba boei. Hashem wants what's in our heart. And that's what the yom tov of Shavuos is all about. Be present, be invested, be involved, be vulnerable, make time, communicate. Not just theoretically, but mekudeshes lee. I'm in. I'm all in and I'm going to demonstrate, I'm going to prove it to you, I'm going to show you beyond a shadow of a doubt. I'm in. I feel your presence in my life always. And I talk to you and I turn to you and I tell you and I thank you and I protest to you, but I'm talking to you all day long. All day long. You've heard me say countless times, if you don't talk to Hashem when you're not in shul, you're going to struggle to talk to him when you are in shul. If you don't talk to him outside the siddur, you're never going to even get started to connect to him in the siddur. You have to talk to Hashem all day is an ongoing conversation. הלואי שיתפלל כל היום כולו Chazal say. Doesn't mean halevai we could sit in shul and daven all day long. It means halevai our whole day was one long conversation with Hashem. Hashem help me get these kids off to carpool and let there be no traffic and let us get there safely. Hashem let me get home and get enjoy my cup of coffee and figure out what I have to do today. Hashem thank you for having that conversation that went well and smoothly. Hashem please let this cheesecake rise or come out well or do whatever cheesecake is Rachmana litzlan supposed to do. Hashem let, all day long is one long conversation from when we open our eyes Modeh ani, oh I woke up, I'm alive, it's all working, thank you Hashem, until we fall asleep. Hashem thank you for a day in which the head count in my house is the same as the way the day started. Hashem thank you for a good day where the main thing was working, the airplane was still working. Yeah, you know there's some bells and whistles that weren't working. I wouldn't mind if you fixed them, but Hashem thank you for a day where the main thing was still working. From when we wake up till we fall asleep the whole day is one long conversation with Hashem. That's where our bubbys and zaidies, that was Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof. Yes, that was him in the barn, feeding the cows. Just one long conversation with Hashem. One long conversation with Hashem. We have to reprint it, we didn't reprint it. Yocheved wrote an article in Mishpacha on Pesach about her grandmother's Tehillim that adorns our home. And her Tehillim that carried her through her life. And I say, whenever I reference this, her grandmother probably couldn't translate one sentence of Tehillim. Her bubby, her bubby zichronah le-vracha, zechusah yagein aleinu. She probably couldn't translate one sentence of Tehillim. But Rachmana liba boei, her heart was on every page of that Tehillim. Her heart and her tears soaked every page of that Tehillim. She couldn't translate probably, am I wrong? I'm not knocking her, her upbringing, her education, her background. She probably could, she was a bright woman, educated woman, but she couldn't translate that much of it. She couldn't tell you the Rashi and the Ramban and the Metzudos David and the Ibn Ezra and the Malbim and the Ralbag. She couldn't tell you all the different perushim and the Nechama Leibowitz and what Shani Taragin says on this or Menachem Liebtag. She couldn't tell you all that on every page of Tehillim, but every page of Tehillim could tell you all about her. So we live in a time that we can access and Google and download and memorize and spit back all the information, but does the *Tehillim* tell the story of what's in our heart? Because הרי את מקודשת לי. *Hashem* wants us, He wants our heart, He wants a relationship, He wants our time, He wants our lives to be one long ongoing conversation with Him. That before everything we do we ask Him for help and after everything that happens we thank Him it worked out well and it's all one ongoing conversation. And I met yesterday with a couple that don't live in Boca but they've been listening to the *shiurim*, they asked to meet, very very generous with the *shul*, they wanted to say thank you which was very sweet of them. And they shared with me, I don't know if they're listening now or later, they shared with me, I was very moved by it. He's for forty years been a stockbroker, been a day trader. And he divides his life into two periods when he was less religious and when he discovered *Hashem* again with *emuna*. And he's had much more success where now for the last many years before every trade, every trade he's a day trader, before every trade he offers a little *tfila* to *Hashem* and after every trade whether he made or lost he thanks *Hashem*. And he said it's changed not only his calmness in trading, knowing that you do your part, you do the best you can, you take your most educated guess and the rest is up to *Hashem*. It's changed not only his emotional physical and spiritual health but it's actually changed his results. But what an inspiring thing. He's a day trader and every day that he trades there's a little *tfila* he offers before every trade and a little *tfila* he offers after each trade. The whole day should be one long *davening*. Get in the car, *Hashem*, looks like someone took a bite out of the back of my car. I told you about that hit and run, somebody hit the car right? So every time you drive you think it's taken for granted you're going to get from point A to point B? A given? A given before the drive, a given when you arrive that you never even thought for a moment, I just went sixty or seventy or so miles an hour. I was in a metal box flying down a highway going sixty or seventy or eighty miles an hour on I-95 where the emblem of I-95 is just knuckles on a steering wheel and the top of the head, right? You can't all the fine drivers on I-95 should *bench Gomel* every time you drive on I-95. It's a miracle, it's a miracle. Imagine if there were a little *tfillah*. I bet my buddy Ben does cause he's got *Ki Ata Imadi* taped to his steering wheel. *Ki Ata Imadi*, you're with me. We have no idea the near miss accidents, we have no idea everything that worked out that got us where we were going. A whole day should be one *tfillah*. When you're not invested in the relationship with *Hashem* you're like why would I do that? I *daven Shacharis* and I plan on going to *Mincha*, why do I have to talk to him between *Shacharis* and *Mincha*? When you're not invested *li*, when it's just *Harei At Mekudeshes*, when it's not *li*, I'm not giving you me. *Rachmana Liba Boy*, I'm not giving you my heart. So then I *daven Shacharis*, I'm going to *daven Mincha*, why do I have to say anything in between? That's like I said goodbye to you in the morning and I'll see you when I get home why do I have to call you during the day? That's not a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage is I can't wait to have a break to call you. I love when I see your name come up on the caller ID. My heart skips a beat when I see your name on the notification that you WhatsApped me. That's a healthy marriage, not I said goodbye in the morning and I'll see you tonight and why do I need to check in? Unless there's an emergency we're good to go until we see each other at the end of the day. A healthy marriage is what do you mean we're having a conversation the whole day even when we're not talking. In a good marriage we're having a conversation the whole day even when you're not talking. You know why? Because everything you're living you're like oh I've got to tell her that and I want to get her opinion on this and I want to hear her fill me in on how that went. So even when you're not together and you're not talking you're still in a conversation the whole day. And then you'll catch up. That's the relationship with *Hashem*. It is a conversation the entire day. When you're talking to Him and in between talking to Him you're catching up, you're asking for help, you're thanking, you're reflecting, you're protesting, you're angry. That's part of a relationship too is the protest and the frustration and the ups and the downs, all that is also evidence that there's a real relationship. If you're never protesting or frustrated or angry you're also not putting your *li* in the relationship. When I meet with couples and there's fire and anger and frustration there's possibility to their marriage making it. And when they're both just checked out, when there's apathy and indifference, that's when that's when there's a lot of trouble. There's no *li*, the heart's not in it. A heart can be in it when you're frustrated and angry and you're passionate in that, it's because you still want more and expect more and demand more and crave more. There's possibility, there's hope, there's a future. So *Im Yirtzeh Hashem*, we got very far today in the *sefer*. *Im Yirtzeh Hashem*, *Im Yirtzeh Hashem*, we should be *zoche* Friday morning to stand all together arm in arm. With Jews around the world at the base of the mountain to hear Hashem speaking to us, קול גדול ולא יסף, that great sound of Hashem speaking, His speaking that never wavered, that continues to reverberate in our ears, the timeless message of His Torah, that continues to inform and inspire our lives, and may we stand there together, united as one, accepting His Torah, putting all of our heart into that relationship. הרי את מקודשת לי, Hashem, we are betrothed with all every part of who we are, and to begin and continue that conversation which we're speaking to Him all day long. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy, wishing you a beautiful, beautiful Yom Tov, a Kabbalas haTorah, tonight behind the bimah 9:00 PM, Chief Rabbi Sir Ephraim Mirvis.
