Transcript
Okay, good morning, בוקר טוב boker tov. Welcome back to פרשה Parsha Perspectives for today. פרשת ויצא Parshas Vayeitzei. ספר בראשית Sefer Bereishis, such great stuff. So much, so inspiring, so much to draw from, lessons for life, precedent for our lives. It's really an incredible thing that we can gather every week to examine a text that is thousands of years old, that tells a story of people who lived millennia and millennia ago, and we talk about them, they're so familiar to us. They're our bubbies and our zeidies, our mothers and our fathers. We know the story and we know where it goes, and we know how it goes, and yet, we read it with a new eye and a fresh insight and we continue to be informed and inspired by it. It's really, it's really amazing. Big thank you to our פרשה Parsha series sponsors, Becky and Avi Katz and family, in memory of Becky's father David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מניש le'ilui nishmas David ben Menachem Manish. This morning's שיעור shiur is also sponsored anonymously for the רפואה שלמה refuah shleima of יהודה לייב בן מלכה Yehuda Leib ben Malka, should have a speedy, complete, and painless רפואה שלמה refuah shleima. This morning is also, today is the יארצייט yahrzeit of my great, great, great grandfather, רב שלמה פעדער Rav Shlomo Feder of קלעצק Kletsk. He left in 1888 to pursue his dream of living in Israel and he's buried at הר הזיתים Har HaZeisim in ירושלים Yerushalayim. My brother went to his קבר kever, our great, great, great grandfather. So לעילוי נשמתו le'ilui nishmaso as well.We dedicate our learning this morning. Just a reminder if you're not yet in the WhatsApp group, if you want to be informed of the שיעור shiur schedule, if you want to get the write-up of the שיעור shiur, if you want some bonus material, join the WhatsApp group. It is very easy. RabbiEphraimGoldberg.org/whatsapp. RabbiEphraimGoldberg.org/whatsapp. Okay, we begin. Page 144, ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע וילך חרנה Vayeitzei Yaakov mi'Be'er Sheva vayelech Charana. Yaakov left באר שבע Be'er Sheva and he went to חרן Charan. And he went to חרן Charan. When was this? For trying to identify or place it on the calendar, the Jewish calendar, when was this? So the ספר תפארת יהונתן Sefer Tiferes Yehonasan writes the following, this is from our favorite, our new favorite, אוצר פלאות התורה Otzar Pelaos HaTorah. He says, ספר תפארת יהונתן Sefer Tiferes Yehonasan כתב שיעקב אבינו יצא מבאר שבע בערב פסח kasav sheYaakov Avinu yatza mi'Be'er Sheva b'erev Pesach. You know when he left? He was traveling on ערב פסח erev Pesach. ותפילת ערבית שתיקן היתה תפילת ערבית של ליל ראשון של פסח U'tfilas arvis shetiken hayisa tfilas arvis shel leil rishon shel Pesach. And we know that when he lay his weary head to rest, the story of the rocks, we're going to examine in a moment, the dream of the of the ladder, when was all of this? It was on פסח Pesach night. That מעריב Maariv that he דאווענט davened, that he introduced to the world, was the מעריב Maariv of פסח Pesach. ובאותו הלילה אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא ליעקב הנה אנכי עמך ושמרתיך בכל אשר תלך Uvoso halaila amar HaKadosh Baruch Hu l'Yaakov hinei anochi imach ushmarticha b'chol asher teilech, והוא סימן לדבר שהיה אותו הלילה של פסח, ליל שימורים v'hu siman l'davar shehaya oso halaila shel Pesach, leil shimurim. Yaakov was afraid, he was worried, he was fleeing and running from his brother. He had just finished 14 years ישיבת שם ועבר Yeshivas Shem v'Ever. He's running. And Hashem promises him, don't worry, ושמרתיך ushmarticha, I'm going to protect you בכל אשר תלך b'chol asher teilech. Don't worry, you have nothing to fear. I'm going to protect you. You're all good. And what night was that? ערב פסח Erev Pesach, פסח Pesach night. And what is פסח Pesach night? It's a night of protection, ליל שימורים leil shimurim. We have many halachic consequences, now is not the time, from not having to say the full קריאת שמע על המיטה Krias Shema al hamita, to being able to leave the door unlocked, to many halachic applications and implications of the fact that it is promised to be a ליל שימורים leil shimurim. Hashem designated that night and protected it through history ready to provide us redemption. And he continues to secure and protect it for us until today. So it's not a coincidence that the very night that Hashem made the promise to Yaakov, ושמרתיך בכל אשר תלך ushmarticha b'chol asher teilech is the ליל שימורים leil shimurim. It was פסח Pesach night. But רש\"י Rashi makes a more famous comment, familiar with the comment of רש\"י Rashi here. רש\"י Rashi writes, רש\"י Rashi is bothered by a question. I'm trying to encourage you, encourage all of ourselves, we should read the text with a critical eye. We should read the text and we should question, we should think. ויצא יעקב Vayeitzei Yaakov, he left, וילך חרנה vayelech Charana, and he went to חרן Charan. What was it necessary to tell us? That he left. Just say where you're going. You know, someone said to me, goodbye this morning. I'm leaving, I'm heading back to Boston. So you don't say, I'm leaving Florida, I'm going to Boston. He said, Rabbi, I'm going to Boston. Boston, boo. But okay, whatever. No offense. But I'm going to Boston. You don't say, I'm leaving Florida, I'm going to Boston. Where are you going? It's obvious you're leaving where you are. You're leaving where you were. Just say where you're going. So why does it say ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע vayeitzei Yaakov mi'Be'er Sheva? Just tell us the part about וילך חרנה vayelech Charana.So רש\"י Rashi tells us famously, this teaches us, I forgot my glasses, teaches us not to forget our glasses. לא היה צריך לכתוב אלא וילך יעקב חרנה. למה הזכיר יציאתו? אלא מגיד שיציאת צדיק מן המקום עושה רושם. שבזמן שהצדיק בעיר, הוא הודה, הוא זיוה, הוא הדרה. יצא משם, פנה הודה, פנה זיוה, פנה הדרה. וכן ברות ותצא מן המקום האמור בנעמי ורות Lo haya tzarich lichtov elah vayelech Yaakov Charana. Lama hiskir yetziaso? Elah maggid she'yetzi'as tzadik min hamakom oseh roshem. She'b'zman she'hatzadik b'ir, hu hodah, hu zivah, hu hadarah. Yatza misham, panah hodah, panah zivah, panah hadrah. V'chein b'Rus, va'teitzei min hamakom ha'omar b'na'ami v'Rus. Because when Yaakov left, his absence was felt. Yaakov's presence made an indelible impression. Yaakov had a transformational impact. Yaakov meant something, and Yaakov was a someone, and Yaakov made a difference. And when he wasn't there, it was perceived. When he wasn't there, you could feel it, you could measure it. It mattered. So therefore it's not just וילך חרנה vayelech Charana, where is he going, where will he arrive, what's the destination? It's what did he leave in his wake? What absence was created by the fact that he departed, by the fact that he was no longer there? When the צדיק tzadik is in the city, creates a glow, a glory, a רושם roshem, an impact, an imprint. When the צדיק tzadik is not there, you no longer feel it. This is part of our mission, of how we're meant to live. We're meant to live in such a way that we actually make a difference. That we are a person of the כלל klal. רב וואלבע Rav Volbe quotes רב ישראל סלנטר Rav Yisrael Salanter who says the way to persevere and triumph in דין din, this is a ראש השנה יום כיפור ווארט Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur vort. But he says the way to secure being signed and sealed for a good year is to be an איש הכלל ish ha'klal, איש שהציבור צריך לו ish she'hatzibur tzrich lo. Be a person who's needed. Be a person who contributes. Be a person who matters. Be a person who when you're not here, you traveled back to Boston or wherever you went, people say, where is he, where she? It's not the same. It's not the same. Whether the fact that the way they דאווען daven, the חסד chesed they do, the joy and the radiance and their demeanor and the disposition that they bring, they put away all the סידורים siddurim, they invite people for meals, they check on on people. They're just a presence. They're a presence. That's our mission and our mandate is to live such a life that הציבור hatzibur, the people rely on us and need us, we're indispensable. And if we're absent, for whatever reason, God forbid, a person is out because they're sick, a person leaves because it's a seasonal community or or global people travel, someone says, where are they? But if no one noticed you came, nobody noticed you left, nobody noticed you're there, nobody noticed you're gone, nobody noticed you exists, then what contribution are you making? Then what life are you living? If you're invisible to statement about people, we should never treat anybody as invisible. We have to be much more careful about that, but it's also a statement about the life that we live if it's possible that we're invisible and somebody doesn't even notice. That's רש\"י Rashi, ויצא יעקב vayeitzei Yaakov, ויצא יעקב vayeitzei Yaakov. Now, a question that's asked on this is that יעקב Yaakov's not the first one to leave. אברהם Avraham left, יצחק Yitzchak left. Now יעקב Yaakov leaves, ויצא יעקב vayeitzei Yaakov. אברהם Avraham journeyed, he traveled. יצחק Yitzchak was mobile. יעקב Yaakov's not the first to leave. So why is יעקב Yaakov the first that we say, ויצא vayeitzei, that he leaves an impact, that he leaves an impression? So they say, they say, when אברהם Avraham left, he left no one there. So it was obvious the צדיק tzadik wasn't there. The whole town, the whole city was different. יצחק Yitzchak similarly. But יעקב Yaakov leaves יצחק's Yitzchak's home. So you might have thought, yeah, יעקב Yaakov's left. צדיק בן צדיק Tzadik ben tzadik, okay, but we still have the core, the original צדיק tzadik. So you don't really feel his absence because the senior גדול gadol is still here. The senior אבינו Avinu is still there. So no. Even when you leave a יצחק Yitzchak behind, when a ויצא יעקב vayeitzei Yaakov, it still leaves a רושם roshem, it's still felt. The בית הלוי Beis HaLevi has another explanation. Why doesn't it need to say both? And the בית הלוי Beis HaLevi says when a person travels from one place to another, the תכלית tachlis could either be that you're running away from something or you're running to something. Right? It used to be that people came to Florida because they were coming to our beautiful community, our beautiful state. They wanted to live here. They wanted to be part of our values, our ideals, our mission, our motto. Over the last couple years, ויצא vayeitzei, they were running away from something. Policies, state income tax, living conditions, cold weather, snow. So people either leave, they go because they're running from or they go because they're running towards. Regarding יעקב Yaakov, both were his תכלית tachlis. Rivka told Yaakov, הנה עשו אחיך מתנחם לך להרגך hinei Eisav achicha misnachem lecha l'hargecha. Therefore, קום וברח לך אל לבן אחי חרנה kum u'vrach lecha el Lavan achi Charana. So the תכלית tachlis was get out. Your brother wants to kill you. Get up, get out, get going. But then יצחק Yitzchak said, don't take a wife from כנען Canaan. קח לך אשה משם מבנות לבן Kach lecha isha misham m'bnos Lavan. So the תכלית tachlis was also go get married. Here's the destination. There's a meet the שדכן shadchan event in באר שבע Be'er Sheva, go to חרן Charan, go to חרן Charan, sorry. There's a meet the שדכן shadchan event in חרן Charan. That's where I want you to find your באַשערט bashert. Go there for that, go there for that purpose. So the בית הלוי Beis HaLevi says, this was unusual. He both was leaving and he was going because both were the תכלית tachlis, both were the purpose. Therefore the פסוק pasuk includes both. ויצא Vayeitzei, וילך vayelech to tell us both. רב וויינפעלד שליט\"א Rav Weinfeld shlita has a third explanation. I find very powerful, very beautiful. He says the following, the impact that the ויצא vayeitzei had on his surroundings. We could add, he writes, it also emphasizes the impact ויצא vayeitzei had on himself. This wasn't merely a journey from one place to another, it was a life-altering journey. ויצא יעקב Vayeitzei Yaakov is not just that he left, but that he's gone out of the home of his parents where he spent many decades of his life until now. His parents' home wasn't just comfortable and familiar in the simple sense, but the Ramban in שמות Shmos writes that the השראת השכינה hashra'as haShechina in the משכן Mishkan was מעלת אבותם ישובו עיר ma'alas avosam yashuvu ir. It returned to the level of the אבות avos. The reason being because the אבות avos were הנה הן המרכבה heina hein ha'merkava. The משכן Mishkan was going back to that מדרגה madreiga, that level and restoring the presence of Hashem, the intensity that was felt in the home of the אבות avos. So Yaakov's journey was leaving that. You grew up in the home of the אבות avos, in the home of the מרכבה merkava. They are the chariot, they are the instrument, the vehicle for an intense feeling of being in the presence of the divine and you're leaving that. You're leaving that. We had the זכות zchus of hosting Rav and רבצין Rebbetzin Schechter last שבת Shabbos. He stayed at my house. The whole שבת Shabbos, the whole time he's there, you feel הדרה, זיוה hadrah, zivah, you feel that radiance, those מדות midos, that learning, that wisdom, that discipline, that presence. Sad when it leaves, you feel the רושם roshem. The משכן Mishkan was going back to that מדרגה madreiga, that מדרגה madreiga of the intense presence. You feel there's something big, there's something special, there's something otherworldly. There's a window and there's access and contact to the divine. And now יעקב's Yaakov's leaving that. He has to flee and run from that. And he's no longer in the shadow of his greatest teachers, of his beloved parents of יצחק Yitzchak and רבקה Rivka. He's ויצא vayeitzei. He's leaving ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael, the promised land. וילך חרנה Vayelech Charana, it's a frightening journey. It wasn't only once he dreamt his dream that he learned that although the מלאכים malachim of ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael were leaving him, but there were special מלאכים malachim designated for escorting him חוץ לארץ chutz la'aretz. These מלאכים malachim are שייך shayach to the unique and special purpose of being in חוץ לארץ chutz la'aretz. And then Yaakov wakes up. And what happens in this dream? This is how Rav Weinfeld understands the opening of our פרשה parsha. He's leaving the intense, protective cocoon of his parents, a place that he's יושב אוהלים yosheiv ohalim, he's sitting and שטייגען shteiging and learning. He has the ultimate role models. He is surrounded and feels the presence of Hashem. And then he has to leave, ויצא vayeitzei, and he's וילך vayelech, he's going to חרן Charan and he thinks that's it. It's over. Downhill from here. My years of עליה aliyah are over. Downhill from here. But he has a dream and he wakes up and what does he say? יש ה' במקום הזה ואנכי לא ידעתי Yesh Hashem bamakom hazeh v'anochi lo yadati. Until now he didn't realize that he had the potential to be שייך shayach to the השראת השכינה hashra'as haShechina on his own. אנכי לא ידעתי Anochi lo yadati. I didn't know that אנכי anochi. I thought that I can only ride the coattails of my parents. I thought that to feel connected to Hashem, I had to be in the yeshiva, in the kollel, I had to be in my parents' home, I had to be with the צדיק tzadik. I didn't realize that I could generate, that I could manufacture that feeling, that I could be the conduit and the instrument. אנכי לא ידעתי Anochi lo yadati. I didn't know that אנכי anochi, that I could be the מרכבה merkava, that I could be the chariot that would bring down a divine presence. Until now, he only knew about the השראת השכינה hashra'as haShechina in the shadow of his parents, but now that he experienced the השראת השכינה hashra'as haShechina while being away from his parents, from the dream, now he wakes up and he says, ah, יש ה' במקום הזה yesh Hashem bamakom hazeh. I thought I left it behind. I thought I left godliness and connection and spirituality and intense, I thought I left it all behind. He wakes up from his dream of a ladder uniting heaven and earth, that he too could be the bridge, that he too could be that ladder, that he too could be that channel, that conduit and bring heaven down to earth. He said אנכי anochi, the fact that I could do it, לא ידעתי lo yadati, I didn't realize. I didn't realize it's in me. I didn't realize I too can do it. And now he experienced the השראת השכינה hashra'as haShechina away from his parents, now he knows his potential. The Rav from Ostropol explains the פסוק pasuk that that יעקב Yaakov said, I knew that אכן achein, the אריה, כרוב, ונשר aryeh, kruv, and nesher was on the כסא הכבוד kisei ha'kavod. But I didn't know אנכי לא ידעתי anochi lo yadati. אכן Achein, אריה, כרוב, ונשר aryeh, kruv, and nesher. There are four images on the four legs of the the throne of ה' Hashem. The זוהר Zohar tells us. The אריה, הכרוב, והנשר aryeh, the kruv, and the nesher, these three animals, what they symbolize, what they depict. The fourth, חקוק chakuk, what is engraved on the fourth leg of the of the throne of ה' Hashem is the image of none other than יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu, the בחיר האבות b'chir ha'avos, יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu. So he says, that's what יעקב Yaakov was saying. אכן Achein, I אכן achein, יש ה' במקום הזה Yesh Hashem bamakom hazeh. אכן Achein I knew was here. אריה, כרוב, ונשר, אכן Aryeh, kruv, v'nesher, achein. But the אנכי anochi that I could be engraved on the throne of ה' Hashem, that I could be a conduit to bring godliness in this world, that I could be the מרכבה merkava, the chariot for godliness, לא ידעתי lo yadati. אנכי Anochi. The אנכי לא ידעתי anochi, lo yadati. אכן Achein I knew, אריה, כרוב, ונשר aryeh, kruv, v'nesher, but אנכי anochi that I could do it, לא ידעתי lo yadati. That's who he wakes up and that's what he realizes. What a powerful insight and understanding of the opening of our פרשה parsha that really fits very beautifully with what we're up to in סדר seder snippets. The very opening of the עמידה Amidah, the opening of שמונה עשרה Shemoneh Esrei. How do we begin the שמונה עשרה Shemoneh Esrei, our conversation with Hashem three times a day? We say, ברוך אתה ה' אלקינו ואלקי אבותינו Baruch atah Hashem Elokeinu v'Elokei avoseinu. There's a dual relationship we have with ה' Hashem. On the one hand there's אלקי אבותינו Elokei avoseinu. We bask in the light and the lessons of our parents, of those who came before. We ride their coattails and we invoke their teachings and we live off of their memory and we are inspired by everything about who they were or who they are. But you know what else we have? אלקינו Elokeinu. We also have our own independent relationship with ה' Hashem. The אנכי anochi part of our relationship with ה' Hashem. We cannot rely exclusively on the relationship of our parents. We can't rely entirely on that. You know, when we had Rav David Lau, the current chief rabbi of Israel, when we had him on במה Bima, he talked about יחוס yichus. He was told there's a child, I forgot which רבי Rebbe, when he was a young young man and his father, Rav Yisrael Meir Lau, זאל זיין געזונט און שטארק zoll zein gezunt un shtark, the great survivor, former chief rabbi of Israel, chief rabbi of Tel Aviv. And he grew up in that shadow of his father, of his father who was a is a huge person and is a big name. And a רבי rebbe of his told him, he brought him up to the front of the room one day and said, right on the blackboard at the time, now we have whiteboards, but on the blackboard, write zeros. Your father, put a zero. Grandfather, put a zero. Your great-זיידע zeideh, put a zero. Great-great זיידע zeideh, put a zero. Great-great זיידע zeideh. He says, you see all that, that's your יחוס yichus, all those zeros. But it all amounts to nothing unless you put a one in front of it. The one is you. The life that you live, who you are, the difference you'll make, you got to put a one in front of it. All those zeros, they mean something. If you put the one in front of it, you get to a big number, a big number. So יחוס yichus is all the zeros. But the one that we put in front of it, that's the life that we live, that's who we are. So יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu thinks, I'm done, I'm finished, I'm running now. It's all over. It was fun while it lasted, sitting and learning, basking in the in the radiance and the light and the lessons and the legacy of my parents of יצחק ורבקה Yitzchak v'Rivka, but now I have to run for my life. There goes, I'm becoming a בעל הבית balabos. I'm becoming a בעל הבית balabos. Rav Wolpiansky has the famous, wonderful book, בן תורה Ben Torah for Life. Why is it that you're a בן עליה Ben Aliyah in yeshiva or seminary, and you become a בעל הבית balabos, בעל הבית'טע balabusta, then they say, that's it, now I'm barely holding on. If I keep שבת Shabbos and כשר kosher, I remember to דאווען daven every day, I'm good to go. My עליה aliyah, my my climbing days, my ascent, it's over. If I can stay here, I'm good to go. Likely, I'm going to start going here. The only question is how far I drop. Who says? Where does it say? Why can't we continue to be עליה aliyah our whole lives? Why is it over? Sometimes it's later in life when we're more mature and experienced. Maybe we have more time, we're retired. Maybe these are the greatest growth spurt years of our life. This is it. This is the greatest growth spurt of our life. Maybe now our children are on a certain trajectory and path. We have a certain נחת nachas, we have a certain stability, we have a מנוחת הנפש menuchas ha'nefesh. Who says your עליה aliyah days are over? So יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu thinks, I was a בן עליה ben aliyah in yeshiva. I was a בן עליה ben aliyah in the home. But now it's over, I'm a בעל הבית balabos. As a בעל הבית balabos, I'm barely holding on. He has this dream, who says? There's a ladder. Climb that ladder. Your עליה aliyah days are not over. You're a בן תורה ben torah for life, a בן עליה, בת עליה ben aliyah, bas aliyah for life. Keep climbing higher and higher. He wakes up and he says, ואנכי v'anochi? Oh wow. Even when I'm on my own without my parents? לא ידעתי Lo yadati. I didn't know. The אכן achein, I knew. But the אנכי, לא ידעתי anochi, lo yadati. And that's what Rav Weinfeld says, ויצא יעקב vayeitzei Yaakov. It's significant, it's important. We begin with the ויצא vayeitzei. He left his parents' home and he thought it was over. וילך Vayelech, but he went to discover who he is. He went to discover his unique and special relationship with Hashem. The מגיד יוסף Meigid Yosef, Rav Yosef Sirotkin, who will be here this שבת Shabbos, the הייליגע מגיד יוסף Heilige Meigid Yosef, he's giving the חבורה chaburah this שבת Shabbos morning. He says the following, so in his honor we have a few insights from his wonderful ספר sefer. He says the following. רש\"י Rashi, לא היה צריך לכתוב אלא וילך יעקב חרנה ולמה הזכיר יציאתו. מגיד שיציאת צדיק מן המקום עושה רושם lo haya tzarich lichtov elah vayelech Yaakov Charana v'lama hezkir yetziaso. Maggid she'yetzi'as tzadik min hamakom oseh roshem. תמוה הדבר, מדוע נתייחד הדרוש זה ויצא יעקב? הרי מסופר בתורה גם על מסעו של אברהם ויצחק, ושם לא נשמע פנה זיוה Tamuah ha'davar, maduah nis'yached hadrush zeh v'yitzei Yaakov? Harei mesupar b'Torah gam al masa'o shel Avraham v'Yitzchak, v'sham lo nishmah panah zivah. The כלי יקר Kli Yakar talks about this, others talk about it, asks the מגיד יוסף Meigid Yosef, like the מגיד יוסף Meigid Yosef, others also left. Why did we wait to share this teaching? ויצא Vayeitzei, צדיק tzadik leaves a רושם roshem with יעקב Yaakov? With יעקב Yaakov? ונראה שהתורה לא מצאה צורך לומר זה על אברהם ויצחק כי רושמם ניכר V'nireh she'haTorah lo matzah tzorech lomar zeh al Avraham v'Yitzchak ki rishumam nikar. אברהם עשה נפשות לה' Avraham asah nefashos la'Shem. When they left, it was obvious because Avraham launched a revolution in his time. It was a world of paganism and idolatry, and Avraham converted, the בעל תשובה baal teshuva movement, the גירות geirus movement that אברהם Avraham and שרה Sarah in partnership created, thousands of, tens of thousand, hundreds of thousands, mind-boggling. So when he stepped down, when he retired, when he moved on, when he left, everyone knew. ביתו היה פתוח לרווחה לכל אורחים ודרך Beisav haya pasuach l'rvacha l'kol orchim v'derech. And his house was the paradigm of hospitality. So when he closed up shop, it was over. No one had a place to go get קידוש kiddush anymore. Nobody had a place for a שבת Shabbos meal. Nobody could show up unannounced. Rav Machlis is coming to Florida next week. Everybody should dig deep in their pocket. You don't need me. I'll give you the address. Rav Machlis hosts 150, 200 people every Friday night for dinner. It's unbelievable. Long after his Rebbetzin tragically left this world, he and a team of people who volunteer and help him, I'm very proud my daughter among them, prepare and cook and don't charge a penny. So when when we have five guests, if we have ten people over, oh wow, we tell everybody we know, you should meal that we had Friday night, the table we had to set, the food we had to shop, we had to prepare, we had to cook. Rav Machlis, these numbers are staggering. The setup, the chairs, the cooking, the chicken soup, the chicken, it's unbelievable. So who pays for it? Where does it come from? So we have the opportunity to have a small חלק chelek, a little part. You don't have to schlep. You don't have to set the table, you don't have to clean up afterwards, you don't have to put out the chairs, you don't have to cook. You just have to Venmo a little money. Credit card. And it's all going directly to make sure that people who otherwise had no place to eat. It's unbelievable, mind-boggling. So once a year, Rav Machlis takes his family, סדר seder night is when he wants to be alone with his family. He told the story, he was also on Behind the Bima. We had the greatest scholar-in-residence program of all time. It's called Behind the במה Bima. And he told the story that the first year that they tried to to do it at home, to be alone, people came anyway. So the next year they went away, people found out where they went and followed them there. And now it's an undisclosed location, פסח סדר Pesach seder night. So so אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu says the מגיד יוסף Meigid Yosef, אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu goes away for a Friday night for a שבת Shabbos. It makes a רושם roshem, the צדיק's tzadik's not there. 'Cause hundreds of people are knocking on the door. Who's making קידוש kiddush for us? Who's making המוציא hamotzi? Where's the chicken soup? Where's the hug? Where's the love? Parenthetically, he went to visit, when I were in Israel last year, so we went with my daughter who's volunteered to help them, we went to his house. I don't know, it was like 11:30, 12 o'clock at night. There's a knock on the door visiting him. Two people came by, they were hungry, they had no food, could they come in and eat? Rav Machlis put it, this was a, I don't know what it was, a Tuesday night, a Wednesday night, he puts out some food. So one of the guests says, in Hebrew, it was in Israel, he says, Rav Machlis, you're ממש mamash like אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu, your home is open the way you hosted us, without notice you gave us food. I never saw Rav Machlis, he got upset and he turned to the person and he said, because you're trying to compliment me, you think you're entitled to insult אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu? He was so upset. You're insulting אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu? Thank you, but to compliment me, you think you can insult אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu? And by the way, he wasn't putting on a show. If you know Rav Machlis, that's Rav Machlis. Anyway, so אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu, like Rav Machlis, I'll make the comparison at the risk of being upset at me, if he closes up shop and closes the door, it makes a רושם roshem. יצחק Yitzchak built them his מזבחות mizbachos and called in the name of ה' Hashem. יצחק Yitzchak's got tremendous שולס shuls where עבודה avodah is taking place. If the שול shul doors are locked and there's nowhere to go to דאווען daven and there's nowhere to go to do the עבודה avodah, people notice, people notice. So it's דוקא אצל יעקב אבינו davka Eitzel Yaakov Avinu, says the הייליגע מגיד יוסף Heilige Meigid Yosef, דוקא אצל יעקב אבינו, איש תם יושב אוהלים, יש אשר לא יעריכו את תרומת המתגורר בארבע אמות של הלכה לחיי הרוח של העיר. שם נצרכה התורה להראות שגם, ואולי דוקא, צדיק כזה הוא ההוד וההדר של העיר, אף שאין רושמו ניכר לכל. davka Eitzel Yaakov Avinu, ish tam yosheiv ohalim, yesh asher lo ya'arichu es trumas hamis'tageir b'arba amos shel halacha l'chayei ha'ruach shel ha'ir. Sham nitzrecha haTorah l'haros she'gam, v'ulai davka, tzadik kazeh hu ha'hod v'ha'hadar shel ha'ir, af she'ein rishumo nikar la'kol. What was יעקב אבינו's Yaakov Avinu's contribution? אברהם אבינו's Avraham Avinu's got hundreds of thousands of people that he's converted, that he's transformed, that he's revolutionized the world, he's teaching them and he's feeding them. When he closes up shop, everybody notices. יצחק אבינו Yitzchak Avinu has built מזבחות mizbachos, he's built incredible altars. He's got שולס shuls and דאווענען davening around the clock. He closed the doors, everybody notices. ויצא יעקב Vayeitzei Yaakov. יעקב Yaakov leaves. What was יעקב Yaakov doing? He was sitting in the corner of the בית מדרש beis medrash. Nobody knew, nobody saw, nobody experienced. He sat שטייגען shteiging, he sat there learning. So maybe you'd think, יעקב Yaakov leaves, eh, who cares? What difference does it make? What does it matter? He was just sitting in the corner of a room by himself, pouring over some big book. He didn't revolutionize a world. Who's gonna notice? דוקא Davka with יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu is where the lesson is taught. ויצא יעקב Vayeitzei Yaakov. You have a צדיק tzadik living in the city, even if they're sitting quietly in a corner, their merit, their זכות zchus, they're sitting and learning תורה Torah, their מדות midos, their חסד chesed, who they are, that is the radiance, that is the light, that is the protection for that city. ויצא Vayeitzei, when they leave, that too is that too is felt. פסוק י\"א Pasuk yud-alef, next פסוק pasuk. ויפגע במקום וילן שם כי בא השמש ויקח מאבני המקום וישם מראשתיו וישכב במקום ההוא Vayifga bamakom vayalen sham ki va hashemesh vayikach me'avnei hamakom vayasem me'rashosav vayishkav bamakom hahu. He encounters the place, he spent the night, sun had set, he took the stones, he arranged it around his head and he lay that place. רב נחמן מברסלב Rav Nachman of Breslov. Oh, a beautiful teaching of רב נחמן Rav Nachman. Says the holy רב נחמן Rav Nachman. בדרכו של יעקב לחרן, הוא עצר בבית אל, בבית אל, כדי לישון שם במשך הלילה B'darko shel Yaakov l'Charan, hu atzar b'Beis El, b'Beis El, kedei lishon sham b'meshech halaila. On his way, he stops in ביתאל Beis El in order to sleep there that night. ולקח כמה אבנים לשים לראשו בזמן שישן V'lakach kama avanim lasim l'rosho b'zman she'yoshen. And he takes many stones to surround his head while he sleeps. וכתב רש\"י V'kasav Rashi, he put it around, he made a circle around his head. Why? Rashi gives us the reason why? To ensure that no animal would come and maul his head while he was sleeping. But לכאורה הדבר לא מובן l'chorah ha'davar lo muvan. Wonders רב נחמן Rav Nachman, if you want to be protected while you sleep, so you make a tent, you're going camping. What do you do? You put your head inside the tent and you zip your head closed up to your neck, and the rest of the body you leave outside the tent. No. What do you do? You're in the tent entirely because what are you protecting? Your entire being. So why didn't he put the rocks around his whole body? He only had enough rocks for his head. Can't even make a full circle. Your neck gets in the way. So why didn't he take a, you know, like a murder scene? Why didn't he put the rocks all around his body? And mark his territory. Why why didn't he protect his entire body? אלא יש כאן רמז בשבילנו Elah yesh kan remez bishvilenu. Says רב נחמן Rav Nachman, it's a teaching from ליקוטי מוהר\"ן חלק א' סימן רל\"ג Likkutei Moharan chelek aleph siman reish lamed gimmel, quoted in this beautiful ספר sefer, שולחן השבת Shulchan HaShabbos, teachings of רב נחמן Rav Nachman applied to the פרשה parsha. שכאשר מתגברים על האדם מחשבות זרות והרהורים אסורים, והוא מתגבר להלחם נגדם לגרשם ממחו, יש להקדוש ברוך הוא נחת רוח גדול מזה She'k'she'misgabrim al ha'adam machshavos zaros v'hirhurim asurim, v'hu misgabeir l'hilachem negdam l'gareshem m'mocho, yesh la'Kadosh Baruch Hu nachas ruach gadol mizeh. You know what takes the greatest and needs the greatest protection is our head. Where do things go wrong? What leads us astray? Is thoughts, fantasy, confusion, corruption, chaos in our mind, a lack of clarity in our thinking, a lack of clarity in our perspective and approach. כמו שהגויים נוהגים להכניס לזירה חיות שונות, ומה שנהנים ורואים איך האחת נוגחת בשניה, כך גם מחשבותיו של אדם בבחינת חיות K'mo she'ha'goyim nohagim la'hachnis l'zira chayos shonim, u'mi'shenikim v'roim eich eini nogach mesheini zu, kach gam machshevosav shel adam b'chinas chayos. Just like in antiquity, for entertainment, they would for sport, they would take vicious animals and unleash them against one another and watch them tear each other apart. So too the מחשבות machshavos of a person's mind. There's a vicious battle that's trying to tear us apart and tear us down. המחשבות הקדושות הם בבחינת חיות טהורות Ha'machshavos ha'kedoshos heim b'chinas chayos tehoros. And the proper thoughts have the status of kosher, holy animals. המחשבות הרעות הם בבחינת חיות טמאות Ha'machshavos ha'ra'os heim b'chinas chayos temeios. Unkosher thoughts, including worry and anxiety and fear and doubt, and fantasy about inappropriate things, they're considered the חיות טמאות chayos temeios. ומוחו של אדם הוא הזירה שבה נלחמות U'mocho shel adam hu ha'zira she'bah nachmos. And the arena where this battle is taking place is our מוח moach, is our brain, is our head. From the moment we wake in the morning till the moment we fall asleep at night, there is a battle raging in our head. Should I share the לשון הרע lashon hara? Should I keep it in? Should I be on time for שול shul? Should I schmooze during דאווענען davening or stay quiet and answer קדיש Kaddish with all of my כח koach? Will I eat the potato chips late at night? Or will I close that cabinet and go to sleep because I don't need them sitting in my stomach? We, from the moment we wake up till the moment we fall asleep, there's a battle taking place. And where is that battle? It's not in our heart. To a degree, it's not in our soul. It's in our head. הקדוש ברוך הוא כביכול הוא מי שזימן למקום זה את החיות השונות HaKadosh Baruch Hu k'vyachol hu mishe'ziman l'makom zeh es ha'chayos ha'shonos. And who is the master, who is the one who invited to the battlefield, to the arena, who's the one who invited the different teams? רבונו של עולם HaRibono shel Olam. ויש לו תענוג מזה שהאדם מצליח לחזק את החיות הטהורות שבמוחו באמצעות מחשבות קדושות, ולנצח את המחשבות הרעות V'yesh lo ta'anug mizeh she'ha'adam matzliach l'chazek es ha'chayos ha'tehoros she'b'mocho b'emtzos machshavos kedoshos, u'lenatzeach es ha'machshavos ha'ra'os. Hashem is like the king, the royalty who sits from his royal perch and looks down at the coliseum of the arena where the battle is taking place and draws a tremendous נחת nachas, where he's rooting for the one side and when it emerges victorious, and when it tears the other side apart, and when it renders the other side finished, derives an incredible joy. במקום אחר כתב רב נחמן ליקוטי מוהר\"ן חלק א' סימן י\"ח, חלק ב' סימן ח', שהאותיות הם בבחינת אבנים B'makom acher kasav Rav Nachman l'kutei Moharan chelek aleph siman yud ches, chelek beis siman ches, she'ha'osiyos heim b'chinas avanim. Letters are like rocks. כמו שמתואר בספר יצירה, שהאותיות הם כביכול אבנים שבהם K'mo she'metuar b'Sefer Yetzirah, she'ha'osiyos heim k'vyachol avanim she'bahem. בָּרָא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אֶת הָעוֹלָם. *Bara Hakadosh Baruch Hu es ha'olam*. We know that הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* created the world with ten sayings. So הַשֵׁם *Hashem* created with words and with letters. That's how we created the world. We do it too. It's called speech recognition. Speech recognition. The other day my son was driving me crazy. Someone got us an Alexa and he plugged it in. Alexa, do this. Alexa, do that. Alexa, play this song. Alexa, say this. Alexa, tell a joke. We have speech recognition. You could tell your, you could talk into your phone and tell your Tesla to come pick you up because it's raining under the awning. I'm not exaggerating. You can do that.So, כִּבְיָכוֹל *kiviyachol*, הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu*, לְהַבְדִּיל *l'havdil*, created the world with עֲשָׂרָה מַאֲמָרוֹת *asarah ma'amaros*, with ten speeches, with ten sayings. We just said it a moment ago this morning. בָּרוּךְ שֶׁאָמַר וְהָיָה הָעוֹלָם *Baruch she'amar v'hayah ha'olam*. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* spoke, and the Tesla came. The whole world came to be. So, the אֲבָנִים *avanim*. וַיִּקַּח מֵאַבְנֵי הַמָּקוֹם וַיָּשֶׂם מְרַאֲשֹׁתָיו *Vayikach mei'avnei ha'makom vayasem m'ra'ashosav*. שֶׁיַּעֲקֹב לָקַח אֶת אוֹתִיּוֹת הַדִּבּוּר וְעָשָׂה מֵהֶן חוֹמוֹת הַגִּנָּה מִסָּבִיב לְרֹאשׁוֹ *she'Yaakov lakach es osiyos hadibur v'asa meihen chomos haginah misaviv l'rosho*, דַּוְקָא *davka*. He took these letters, this capacity to create, to design, to engineer, to build, and he put it around his head, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁיָּרֵא מֵחַיּוֹת הָרָעוֹת *mipnei she'yarei mei'chayos ha'raos*. He was worried about the חַיּוֹת רָעוֹת *chayos raos* or the thoughts inside his head. שֶׁהֵן הַמַּחְשָׁבוֹת הַזָּרוֹת שֶׁרוֹצוֹת לִטְרֹף אֶת הָאָדָם *she'hen ha'machshavos ha'zaros she'rotzos litrof es ha'adam*. רַב נַחְמָן *Rav Nachman* has us read this whole פָּסוּק *pasuk* metaphorically עַל פִּי דְּרוּשׁ *al pi drush*. It wasn't vicious animals that would tear open his head, it was vicious thoughts that would tear down his soul. The אֲבָנִים *avanim* are the אוֹתִיּוֹת *osiyos* around his head are protecting his head. That's what needs the protection is around our head. מַגִּיד יוֹסֵף *Maggid Yosef* also has a comment on this. מֵאַבְנֵי הַמָּקוֹם *mei'avnei ha'makom* and he says, first these stones, this is a beautiful thought. He says, first these stones, they fought with each other for each one wanted the צַדִּיק *tzaddik* to rest his head on them. זֹאת אוֹמֶרֶת עָלַי יַנִּיחַ, זֹאת אוֹמֶרֶת עָלַי יַנִּיחַ. מִיָּד עָשָׂה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אֶבֶן אַחַת. *Zos omeres alai yaniach, zos omeres alai yaniach. Miyad asa Hakadosh Baruch Hu even achas*. הַשֵׁם *Hashem* combined them all into one.Many moons ago, when I became the rabbi of the Boca Raton Synagogue, I think one of the first שַׁבָּתוֹת *Shabbosos* I was the rabbi was 2005, פָּרָשַׁת וַיֵּצֵא *Parshas Vayeitzei*. And I spoke about this מִדְרָשׁ *midrash* and I talked about, this is part of my whole personal approach to life and vision for life is the שער הכולל *sha'ar ha'kolel*. Twelve stones, each one says, the צַדִּיק *tzaddik* should rest on me. I'm the exclusive הַשְׁקָפָה *hashkafa* of Torah. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* put them all together, valuing diversity, celebrating unity. Each one said, let the צַדִּיק *tzaddik* rest his head on me. I'm the צַדִּיק *tzaddik*, I'm the צִדְקוּת *tzidkus*. I'm the only righteous הַשְׁקָפָה *hashkafa*, each one said. הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* made a miracle, combined them all, celebrating unity. It's good stuff, even back in 2005. I read my old דְּרָשׁוֹת *drashos* and I am humiliated and ashamed, but that one was pretty good. נִמְצָאנוּ לְמֵדִים מִכָּאן שֶׁאַף דּוֹמֵם כִּשְׁאָר נִבְרָאִים שׁוֹאֵף לְהַגִּיעַ לַמַּטָּרָה שֶׁלִּשְׁמָהּ הוּא נִבְרָא. *Nimtzeinu l'meidin mikan, she'af domem k'shar nivra'im sho'ef l'hagia la'matara she'lishma hu nivra*. Says the מַגִּיד יוֹסֵף *Maggid Yosef*, says רַב סוֹרוֹצְקִין *Rav Sorotzkin*. What's this conversation among the rocks? Fight, a battle, each one wants the צַדִּיק *tzaddik* to rest on him. What are you talking about over here? What is this, a childish מִדְרָשׁ *midrash*? No, there's a very deep meaning. It means that we know that we have four levels of that which is created: דּוֹמֵם, צוֹמֵחַ, חַי, מְדַבֵּר *domem, tzome'ach, chai, medaber*. We have different levels: inanimate objects, animate objects but without a soul, human beings, מְדַבֵּר *medaber* and so on. So it means that even the דּוֹמֵם *domem*, even an inanimate object has a purpose, a reason that it's here, and it wants to fulfill that purpose. These chairs are here for you to sit and דאַוונען *daven* and learn in. That's why they were designed, I think in China. That's why they were built. וְאַף הָאֶבֶן מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהַגְשִׁים אֶת תַּכְלִיתוֹ *V'af ha'even mevakesh l'hagshim es tachliso*. Even a rock, even a stone says, why am I here? What am I meant to contribute? What am I meant to be? What difference am I meant to make? אוֹתוֹ יְסוֹד לְמֵדִים אָנוּ גַּם מִדִּבְרֵי הַפְּרִישָׁה *Oso yesod l'meidin onu gam m'divrei ha'Prisha*. פְּרִישָׁה *Prisha*, יוֹרֶה דֵּעָה סימן קס\"ד *Yoreh Deah, Siman Kuf Samech Daled*. שֶׁנָּתַן טַעַם לְמִצְוָה מִן הַמֻּבְחָר לָמוּל דַּוְקָא עִם בַּרְזֶל *she'nasan ta'am l'mitzva min ha'muvchar la'mul davka im barzel*. That we do a בְּרִית מִילָה *bris milah* specifically with that metal, with בַּרְזֶל *barzel*. Because מִצְוַת מִילָה נִתַּן לְבַרְזֶל כְּשָׂכָר עַל שֶׁכָּבְשָׁה הַבַּרְזֶל שֶׁל גָּלְיָת שֶׁהִסְכִּים לִבְקֹעַ בִּפְנֵי דָּוִד *mitzvas milah nitan l'varzel k'schar al she'kavsha ha'barzel shel Galyas she'hiskim livko'a bifnei David*. Because the covering of בַּרְזֶל *barzel* on גָּלְיָת *Galyas*, דָּוִד הַמֶּלֶךְ *David HaMelech* was able to penetrate, and as a reward we do the בְּרִית מִילָה *bris milah*. Who cares? Metal cares? Metal knows? Metal's rewarded? Metal has merit? The answer is yes. Even inanimate objects have a purpose and a design and a reason. And they seek to fulfill them or we seek for their fulfillment. So even these stones say, this is why we're here, to sit under the head of the צַדִּיק *tzaddik*. And with this he explains something very beautiful.גְּמָרָא *Gemara* in בְּרָכוֹת *Brachos*, it's quoted in שֻׁלְחָן עָרוּךְ אוֹרַח חַיִּים סימן ר\"א *Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim Siman Reish Aleph*, has what we call the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of the בַּעַל הַבַּיִת *baal habayis*, בִּרְכַּת הָאוֹרֵחַ *birkas ha'oreach*. When you're a guest in someone's home, all of בענטשן *bentching* is beautiful. First paragraph דְּאוֹרַיְיתָא *d'oraisa*, rest of it דְּרַבָּנָן *d'rabbanan*. When you finish עַל יְחַסְּרֵנוּ *Al Yechasreinu*, the הָרַחֲמָן זֶה *HaRachaman zeh* and some say on שַׁבָּת *Shabbos*, some don't, but what everyone says you have to say on שַׁבָּת *Shabbos* is the יְהִי רָצוֹן *yehi ratzon*, the בִּרְכַּת הָאוֹרֵחַ *birkas ha'oreach*. You have to thank your host. תּוֹסָפוֹת *Tosafos* on the side of the גְּמָרָא *Gemara* says we learn this, it's a תּוֹסָפוֹת *Tosafos*, תּוֹסָפוֹת רִי\"ד *Tosafos Rid*, תּוֹסָפוֹת יְשָׁנִים *Tosafos Yeshanim*. He says where do we learn this from? פָּסוּק *Pasuk* says, וְאָכַלְתָּ וְשָׂבָעְתָּ וּבֵרַכְתָּ אֶת הַשֵּׁם אֱלֹקֶיךָ *v'achalta v'savata u'veirachta es Hashem Elokecha*. בענטשן *Bentching*, we בענטש *bentsh* as a מִצְוָה דְּאוֹרַיְיתָא *mitzva d'oraisa*. בענטשן *Bentching* is the only בְּרָכָה *bracha* we recite דְּאוֹרַיְיתָא *d'oraisa*, maybe also בִּרְכַּת הַתּוֹרָה *birkas haTorah*. And we learn it from the פָּסוּק *pasuk*, פָּרָשַׁת עֵקֶב *Parshas Eikev*. וְאָכַלְתָּ וְשָׂבַעְתָּ וּבֵרַכְתָּ *V'achalta v'savata u'veirachta*. If you eat and you're satiated, you're full, וּבֵרַכְתָּ *u'veirachta*, thank הַשֵׁם *Hashem*. But it could have said, וּבֵרַכְתָּ הַשֵּׁם אֱלֹקֶיךָ *u'veirachta Hashem Elokecha*. What does it say? אֶת הַשֵּׁם אֱלֹקֶיךָ *Es Hashem Elokecha*. We know that these אֶת *es*s are extra, they're extraneous, they're unnecessary. So we learn, we derive, רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא *Rebbe Akiva* dedicated his life. So what does this אֶת *es* teach? וְאָכַלְתָּ וְשָׂבַעְתָּ וּבֵרַכְתָּ אֶת הַשֵּׁם אֱלֹקֶיךָ *V'achalta v'savata u'veirachta es Hashem Elokecha*. אֶת *Es*, says תּוֹסָפוֹת רִי\"ד *Tosafos Rid*, תּוֹסָפוֹת שַׁאנְץ *Tosafos Shan*, I forget which תּוֹסָפוֹת *Tosafos*. אֶת לְרַבּוֹת בַּעַל הַבַּיִת *Es l'rabos baal habayis*. So when you בענטש *bentsh*, before you בענטש *bentsh*, after you בענטש *bentsh*, you first turn, more likely to the בעלבוסטע *balabusta*, and you say, thank you, everything was delicious. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for this beautiful meal. Thank you for having me. First you think the host. אֶת לְרַבּוֹת בַּעַל הַבַּיִת *Es l'rabos baal habayis*. So we do that. גְּמָרָא בְּרָכוֹת *Gemara Brachos* records the נוּסַח *nusach* of what we say, and the שֻׁלְחָן עָרוּךְ *Shulchan Aruch* פּסק'נט *paskens*, you have to say it. Many skip it or they mumble it. Say it out loud. Say it out loud. The wine is nice and the candy platter was nice, but the בִּרְכַּת הָאוֹרֵחַ *birkas ha'oreach*, you really want to leave a gift for your host. Say a בְּרָכָה *bracha* out loud. Mean it. Know what you're saying. What do we say? שֶׁלֹּא יֵבוֹשׁ בַּעַל הַבַּיִת בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וְלֹא יִכָּלֵם לְעוֹלָם הַבָּא *Shelo yevosh baal habayis ba'olam ha'zeh v'lo yikolem l'olam ha'ba*. May my בַּעַל הַבַּיִת *baal habayis* never be ashamed, never experience shame in this world. Let them have eternity, עוֹלָם הַבָּא *olam ha'ba*. וְיַצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו וְיִהְיוּ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים וּקְרוֹבִים לָעִיר *V'yatzliach b'chol nechasav v'yihyu nechasav mutzlachim u'krovim la'ir*. Now, I don't know if you ever said it, but if you did say it, did you ever think about what it means? Doesn't it sound entirely redundant? וְיַצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו *V'yatzliach b'chol nechasav* means, be successful with all of your endeavors, with all of your property, and all of your assets. וְיִהְיוּ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים *V'yihyu nechasav mutzlachim*. What? Isn't that the same thing twice? What's the difference between וְיַצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו *v'yatzliach b'chol nechasav* וְיִהְיוּ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים *v'yihyu nechasav mutzlachim*? שִׂפְתֵי חֲכָמִים *Sifsei Chachamim* already asks this. בְּרָכוֹת דַּף מ\"ו עַמּוּד א' *Brachos Daf Mem Vav Amud Aleph*. The source of בִּרְכַּת הָאוֹרֵחַ *birkas ha'oreach*. שִׂפְתֵי חֲכָמִים *Sifsei Chachamim* already asks. It's redundant. What does it mean? וְנִרְאֶה לְפָרֵשׁ, אוֹמֵר הַמַּגִּיד יוֹסֵף, שֶׁיַּצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו הוּא כִּפְשׁוּטוֹ, שֶׁבַּעַל הַבַּיִת יִהְיֶה עָשִׁיר. *V'nireh l'faresh, omer ha'Maggid Yosef, she'yatzliach b'chol nechasav hu k'pshuto, she'baal habayis yihiyeh ashir*. וְיַצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו *V'yatzliach b'chol nechasav* means, may all of your portfolio go up, may all of your investments have a good return. May you do well and be wealthy. וּשֶׁמּוֹסִיפִים אָנוּ לְבָרֵךְ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים, שֶׁהַנְּכָסִים עַצְמָם יִהְיוּ מֻצְלָחִים לְהַגִּיעַ אֶל תַּכְלִיתָם, שֶׁבַּעֲלָיו יְנַהֲלֵם לְהַרְבּוֹת בְּתוֹרָה וּבְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים. *U'she'mosifin anu l'varech nechasav mutzlachim, she'ha'nechasim atzmam yihyu mutzlachim l'hagia el tachlisam, she'ba'alav yenahaleim l'harbos b'Torah u'v'maasim tovim*. First בְּרָכָה *bracha*, וְיַצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו *v'yatzliach b'chol nechasav*, do well. Amass and accumulate wealth. וְיִהְיוּ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים *V'yihyu nechasav mutzlachim*, and when you have that wealth, when you have those things, they should be מֻצְלָחִים *mutzlachim*. May they fulfill the purpose for why you have them. May you have a beautiful home, and then use it to host חֶסֶד *chesed* and תּוֹרָה *Torah* and שִׁיעוּרִים *shiurim*. May you have great wealth and use it to give to צְדָקָה *tzedakah*, to help רַב מַכְלִיס *Rav Machlis*, to help the Boca Raton synagogue get its message and its תּוֹרָה *Torah* to do great things. So there's two parts, it's not redundant. There's two parts to the בְּרָכָה *bracha*, based on this insight of the rocks fighting each other. Such a beautiful מַגִּיד יוֹסֵף *Maggid Yosef*, no? וְיִהְיוּ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים *V'yihyu nechasav mutzlachim*. The first part, וְיַצְלִיחַ בְּכָל נְכָסָיו *v'yatzliach b'chol nechasav* is, do well, have a lot. וְיִהְיוּ נְכָסָיו מֻצְלָחִים *V'yihyu nechasav mutzlachim*, and when you have a lot and you did well, your נְכָסָיו *nechasav* should be מֻצְלָחִים *mutzlachim*. They should be successful in fulfilling the reason that you have them. Everything הַשֵׁם *Hashem* gave us, he gave us for a reason. It serves a purpose. That extra guest room, the extra seat at your table, the extra capacity to give, the extra spot in your car on the way to an event that someone could use a ride. Everything we have, we have for a reason. May we be successful in having a lot and may we have, may that which we have be successful in fulfilling the purpose for the reason that we have it. Ah, so געשמאַק *geshmak*. Such a beautiful insight.Okay, פֶּרֶק כ\"ח פָּסוּק י\"ב *Perek Kaf Ches Pasuk Yud Beis*. Should we do the move? Should we go to the end of the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha* now and work backwards a little bit? Let's go to the end of the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha* and work backwards. I'm trying to be a new me, trying. פֶּרֶק ל\"ב פָּסוּק א' *Perek Lamed Beis Pasuk Aleph*. Skip to the end of the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha*. It requires you to know the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha*. Meaning if you were trying to follow the story from this, if we go out of order, you're going to get lost. So hopefully everybody knows the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha*. If not, look at the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha*. We're going to go out of order to be able to see multiple parts of the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha*, then it's going to require your doing your homework too. The very end of the פָּרָשָׁה *parsha*. Let's work backwards a little bit now. We know that, spoiler alert, יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* runs, he goes to the house of לָבָן *Lavan*, he falls in love with רָחֵל *Rachel*. לָבָן *Lavan* pulls the switcheroo, gives him לֵאָה *Leah* before רָחֵל *Rachel*. He marries them both, he has many children, he's ready to leave לָבָן's *Lavan's* house. He leaves לָבָן's *Lavan's* house, לָבָן *Lavan* chases him and he says, where'd you go? How'd you do this? Accuses him of stealing his idols. וַיַּשְׁכֵּם לָבָן *Vayashkem Lavan*, פֶּרֶק ל\"ב פָּסוּק א' *Perek Lamed Beis Pasuk Aleph*. וַיַּשְׁכֵּם לָבָן בַּבֹּקֶר וַיְנַשֵּׁק לְבָנָיו וְלִבְנוֹתָיו *Vayashkem Lavan baboker vayenashek l'vanav v'livnosav*. לָבָן *Lavan* wakes up in the morning and he kisses his children. וַיְבָרֶךְ אֶתְהֶם וַיֵּלֶךְ וַיָּשָׁב לָבָן לִמְקֹמוֹ *Vayevarech es'hem vayelech vayashov Lavan l'mekomo*. And לָבָן *Lavan* then leaves and goes back to his place. First of all, he wakes up and he gives a שטיקל *shtickel* kiss. He gives a little kiss, his children and his grandchildren. It's actually a nice image. לָבָן *Lavan* may have been a lowlife, but the זיידע *zeideh*, the אַבָּא *abba*, the טאַטי *tati* is giving a kiss. In our אוֹצָר פְּלָאוֹת הַתּוֹרָה *Otzar P'laos HaTorah*, our favorite סֵפֶר *sefer*, he therefore has a long essay about kissing. Appropriate, not romantic kissing. לְנַשֵּׁק יְדֵי אָדָם גָּדוֹל *L'nashek yedei adam gadol*. What's a שַׁבָּת *Shabbos*? רַב שֶׁכְטֶר *Rav Schechter* came to אָבוֹת וּבָנִים *Avos u'Banim*. There was a long line of kids who came for a בְּרָכָה *bracha* and who came to wish him a גוט וואָךְ *Gut Voch* and parents who took pictures with them. And then a סְפָרַדִּי *Sefardi* family came. And the children knew. They took רַב שֶׁכְטֶר's *Rav Schechter's* hand, they didn't shake it. What did they give it? A kiss. They gave a kiss on his hand. My son was watching, so last night when he said good night to me, I gave him a kiss on his cheek and he said, wait, he took my hand and he gave me a kiss on my hand.So, where does this come from, the idea of kissing a hand? The חִידָ\"א *Chida* quotes it, סֵפֶר שֵׁם הַגְּדוֹלִים *Sefer Shem Gedolim*. The רִי מִיגַאשׁ *Ri Migash* went to see the רַמְבַּ\"ן *Ramban*. And the רִי מִיגַאשׁ *Ri Migash*, when the רַמְבַּ\"ן *Ramban* was on his deathbed, kissed the רַמְבַּ\"ן's *Ramban's* hand. No, sorry. שֶׁבִּשְׁעַת פְּטִירַת הָרִי מִיגַאשׁ *She'bi'shas ptiras ha'Ri Migash*, the רִי מִיגַאשׁ *Ri Migash* was on his deathbed, and the רַמְבַּ\"ם *Rambam* went in to see the רִי מִיגַאשׁ *Ri Migash* on his deathbed. The רַמְבַּ\"ם *Rambam* was seven years old, and the רִי מִיגַאשׁ *Ri Migash* kissed the רַמְבַּ\"ם's *Rambam's* hand at seven years old, understanding the future potential greatness of the of the רַמְבַּ\"ם *Rambam*. And he goes on and he talks about on מוֹצָאֵי יוֹם כִּפּוּר *Motzaei Yom Kippur*, כָּל כְּלַל יִשְׂרָאֵל *kol Klal Yisrael* kissed the hand, the יַעְבֵ\"ץ *Yaavetz* quotes, everyone kissed the hand of the כֹּהֵן גָּדוֹל *Kohen Gadol*. The מִנְהָג *minhag* to kiss, not only on the cheek or kiss the hand, the מִנְהָג *minhag* to kiss the shoulder, the מִנְהָג *minhag* to kiss the leg. The מִנְהָג *minhag*, we spoke about a few weeks ago, can you kiss a corpse? Can you say goodbye to your loved one who has left this world? מִנְהַג צַדִּיקִים שֶׁלֹּא לְהוֹשִׁיט יְדֵיהֶם *Minhag tzaddikim shelo l'hosheet yedeihem*. You're not allowed to kiss in שול *shul*. Can't show affection to anyone other than הַשֵׁם *Hashem*. You can't kiss children in שול *shul*. לְנַשֵּׁק קִבְרֵי אָבוֹת *L'nashek kivrei avos*. When you go to a קֶבֶר *kever*, do you kiss a tombstone? Do you kiss a מַצֵּבָה *matzeivah*? לְנַשֵּׁק חֶפְצֵי מִצְוָה *L'nashek chefzei mitzvah*. You kiss the סֵפֶר תּוֹרָה *Sefer Torah*, do you kiss the מְזוּזָה *mezuzah*? To kiss the king דֶּרֶךְ כָּבוֹד *derech kavod*. He has a long, this is this wonderful סֵפֶר *sefer*. The פָּסוּק *pasuk* said, לָבָן *Lavan* gave a kiss. Let's have many pages with an essay on every aspect of kissing in Judaism. It's great stuff. But I want to focus on another entry he has. He has another entry here on the words וַיְבָרֶךְ אֶתְהֶם *vayivarech es'hem*. Before לָבָן *Lavan* departs from them, what does he give them? A בְּרָכָה *bracha*. And the סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* writes here, רַב עוֹבַדְיָה סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Rav Ovadia Sforno*. The סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* writes here, חַזַ\"ל *Chazal* tells us, the גְּמָרָא מְגִילָה דַּף ט\"ו *Gemara Megillah Daf Tes Vav*, אַל תְּהִי בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט קַלָּה בְּעֵינֶיךָ *al tehi birkas hedyot kalah b'einecha*. That the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a simple person, we shouldn't take lightly. Every person who offers a בְּרָכָה *bracha* is serving as a conduit to bring down the light of הַשֵׁם *Hashem* and to give you that בְּרָכָה *bracha*. So don't take it lightly. Don't only run to the righteous. But a simple person gives you a בְּרָכָה *bracha*, say, I'll take it. Have a great day. You're walking out of שול *shul*, someone says, have a great day. אָמֵן *Amen*. Absolutely. I'll take it. בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט אַל תְּהִי קַלָּה בְּעֵינֶיךָ *Birkas hedyot al tehi kalah b'einecha*. אַמְנָם סִפְּרָה תּוֹרָה בִּרְכָתוֹ שֶׁל לָבָן לִבְנוֹתָיו לְהוֹרוֹת שֶׁבִּרְכַּת אָב וּבָנִים עוֹלָה יוֹתֵר מִבִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט סְתָם *Omnam sipra Torah birkaso shel Lavan l'vnosav l'horos she'birkas av u'vanim oleh yoser m'birkas hedyot stam*. So first of all, even a בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a לָבָן *Lavan*, לָבָן's *Lavan's* giving his children and grandchildren a בְּרָכָה *bracha*, וַיְבָרֶךְ אֶתְהֶם *vayivarech es'hem*, yeah. Even the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a לָבָן *Lavan*. But more than that he says, more than that he says, the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent has superpowers, כֵּיוָן שֶׁבִּרְכָתוֹ בְּכָל נַפְשׁוֹ *keivan she'birkaso b'chol nafsho*. Because nobody cares, nobody has is invested, nobody is as present, nobody is as much of a stakeholder in a בְּרָכָה *bracha* as a parent. So when the צַדִּיק *tzaddik* and the צַדֶּקֶת *tzadekes*, when the רֶבִּי *rebbe* or the רֶבֶּצִין *rebbetzin* gives you a בְּרָכָה *bracha*, they mean it. They care. But they're not a stakeholder. When a parent gives a בְּרָכָה *bracha* to a child, what's the stake, what do they say? You're only as happy as your least happy child. So when you give a בְּרָכָה *bracha* to a child, you're giving a בְּרָכָה *bracha* to yourself. You want happiness, you need your children to be happy because you'll only be as happy as your least happy child. Someone once wrote me an email when I said that, don't say that, it's a horrible thing to say, it makes the unhappy child feel horribly guilty about their unhappiness. Now their parent is unhappy too. And I said, first of all, פֿע *feh* with your email. But second of all, I couldn't disagree more. A child will be comforted to know my parent can't be happy if I'm unhappy. Empathy, they feel with me. עִמּוֹ אָנֹכִי בְצָרָה *Imo anochi b'tzarah*. The companionship. There's nothing worse than unhappiness when you feel the rest of the world's happy without me, and I'm all alone in my unhappiness. What a statement and what an expression of love and affection that the child knows, my parent, I don't want my parent to be unhappy, I want them to be happy, but I'm so moved by knowing that if I'm unhappy, that impacts their happiness. I couldn't disagree more.So the סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* says here, it's quoted in אוֹצָר פְּלָאוֹת הַתּוֹרָה *Otzar Pla'os HaTorah*, that the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of לָבָן *Lavan* was not סְתָם *stam* a בְּרָכָה *bracha*. Not סְתָם *stam* a בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט *birkas hedyot*. There's nothing like the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent. כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר יִצְחָק, בַּעֲבוּר תְּבָרֶכְךָ נַפְשִׁי *k'mo she'amar Yitzchak, ba'avur t'varechecha nafshi*. וְלָכֵן רָאוּי יוֹתֵר שֶׁתָּחוּל הַבְּרָכָה *V'lachen ra'ui yoser she'tachul ha'bracha*. סֵפֶר פֶּלֶא יוֹעֵץ *Sefer Pele Yoetz* writes, בִּרְכַּת אָב וָאֵם קְרוֹבָה לְהִתְקַיֵּם *birkas av v'eim krova l'hiskayem*, שֶׁהֵם מְבָרְכִים מִלֵּב וּמִנֶּפֶשׁ כְּרַחֵם אָב עַל בָּנִים *she'hem mevarachim mi'lev umi'nefesh k'rachem av al banim*. וְלָכֵן יֵשׁ לְאָדָם לְהִתְאַמֵּץ וּלְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל מְאֹד לְקַבֵּל בִּרְכַּת אָב וְאִמּוֹ *v'lachen yesh l'adam l'hit'ametz u'l'hishtadel me'od l'kabel birkas av v'emo*. The פֶּלֶא יוֹעֵץ *Pele Yoetz* writes, there is nothing as powerful as the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent. I found this so moving when I saw this this morning, because I thought to myself, how many people wait on endless lines to go get a בְּרָכָה *bracha*, to get a בוחא *buha* from a צַדִּיק *tzaddik*. It's beautiful, it's meaningful, it's wonderful. I don't have a negative word to say about it. And their own parent, they haven't called, they don't say hello, they don't wish a גוט שבת *Gut Shabbos* on a Friday, they don't ask, could you give me a בְּרָכָה *bracha*? Parent gives a בְּרָכָה *bracha* and they say, I don't want to eat quickly, are you done yet? The בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent. This is what he's saying. The פֶּלֶא יוֹעֵץ *Pele Yoetz*, the סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* based on the חַזַ\"ל *Chazal*, all those בְּרָכוֹת *brachos* are wonderful, but there's nothing as powerful as the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent. The parent... וְעַיֵּן עוֹד בְּסֵפֶר מַעֲבַר יַבֹּק *V'ayin od b'sefer Ma'avar Yabok*. He writes, שִׂפְתֵי אֱמֶת *Sifsei Emes* quotes פֶּרֶק י\"ג *Perek Yud Gimmel*, שֶׁכָּתוּב בְּרִית כְּרוּתָה לִשְׂפָתַיִם בִּרְכַּת הוֹרִים *she'kasuv bris krusa l'sfasayim... birkas horim*. There's a בְּרִית *bris*, there's a covenant, there's a promise that's given to the lips of parents, לִהְיוֹת עוֹטֵף עַל בִּרְכַּת אֲחֵרִים, לִהְיוֹת נֶפֶשׁ הַבָּנִים תְּלוּיִים תַּחְתָּם *l'hiyos otef al birkas acherim, l'hiyos nefesh ha'banim tluyim tachtam*. That the lips of a parent are endowed with a greater power and potency to give a בְּרָכָה *bracha* than anyone else, than the biggest רֶבִּי *rebbe*, than the biggest רֶבֶּצִין *rebbetzin*, the biggest צַדִּיק *tzaddik*, the biggest צַדֶּקֶת *tzadekes*. עַיֵּן עוֹד מַה שֶּׁכָּתַב רַבֵּנוּ בַּחְיֵי פָּרָשַׁת יִתְרוֹ, שֶׁרָאוּי לְאִישׁ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל שֶׁהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ יְבַקֵּשׁ עַל בָּנִים הֲגוּנִים צַדִּיקִים בִּשְׁעַת הַדְלָקַת נֵרוֹת שַׁבָּת. *Ayin od ma she'kasav Rabbeinu Bachya Parshas Yisro, she'ra'ui l'ish l'hispalel she'Hashem yisbarach yevakesh al banim hagunim tzaddikim b'shas hadlakas neiros Shabbos*. רַבֵּנוּ בַּחְיֵי פָּרָשַׁת יִתְרוֹ *Rabbeinu Bachya Parshas Yisro* quotes, there is a מִנְהָג *minhag* that women when they light the Friday night שַׁבָּת *Shabbos* candles, they דאַוונען *daven* and they bench, they give a בְּרָכָה *bracha* to their children. כִּי הַתְּפִלָּה יוֹתֵר נִשְׁמַעַת בִּשְׁעַת עֲשִׂיַּת הַמִּצְוָה וּבִזְכוּת נֵר שַׁבָּת שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה יִזְכֶּה לְבָנִים בַּעֲלֵי תוֹרָה הַנִּקְרָאִים אוֹר. *Ki ha'tefillah yoser nishmas b'shas asiyas ha'mitzva, u'vizchus ner Shabbos she'oseh yizkeh l'vanim baalei Torah ha'nikra'im or*. Because the power of a תְּפִלָּה *tefillah* is most potent when it is done accompanying a מִצְוָה *mitzva*. So adjacent to the מִצְוָה *mitzva* of lighting the candles, we offer a תְּפִלָּה *tefillah* for our children. Plus, this is how you interpret. Person who's רָגִיל בְּנֵר *ragil b'ner*, הֲוֵי לָן בָּנִים *havah lan banim*. Person who's רָגִיל בְּנֵר *ragil b'ner*, גְּמָרָא *Gemara* says, person who is lighting light and increasing light and promoting light will have children who themselves illuminate. So that's the time that we דאַוונען *daven*. That's the time that we דאַוונען *daven*. Very, very powerful. Who is this הֶדְיוֹט *hedyot*? אַל תְּהִי בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט קַלָּה בְּעֵינֶיךָ *Al tehi birkas hedyot kalah b'einecha*. He quotes the נְצִי\"ב *Netziv* in his מְרוֹמֵי שָׂדֶה *Meromei Sadeh* says, אַל תְּהִי בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט הוּא דַּוְקָא בִּרְכַּת שֶׁל גּוֹי, כִּי שֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל מְבָרֵךְ אֵין זֶה נִקְרָא בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט. אַף אִילּוּ בְּרָכָה אִישׁ, אִשָּׁה, אֵינָן נִקְרָאוֹת בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט. *Al tehi birkas hedyot hu davka birchas shel goy, ki she'Yisrael mevarech ein zeh nikra birkas hedyot. Af eilu bracha ish, isha, einan nikraos birkas hedyot*. The נְצִי\"ב *Netziv* says when we talk about a בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט *birkas hedyot*, we're not talking about a simple Jew. It's a whole new interpretation of בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט *birkas hedyot*. It means a non-Jew. Means a non-Jew. Means the guy who fixed the air conditioner walks out and he says, have a great day. You say, אָמֵן *amen*. It's a בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט *birkas hedyot*. אַל תְּהִי קַלָּה בְּעֵינֶיךָ *Al tehi kalah b'einecha*. Jew, non-Jew, anybody who gives you a blessing. They give you a blessing. I told you in Living with אֱמוּנָה *Emunah*, I talked about my Uber driver in Alabama a couple weeks ago. Boy, did he give a blessing. He actually believes what it says in the חֻמָּשׁ *Chumash*. Whoever blesses Israel and blesses the Jewish people will be blessed. We're wishy-washy. Well, it's a nice דְּרָשָׁה *drasha*, פַּרְשָׁנוּת *parshanus*, explanations, give a דְּרָשָׁה *drasha*. But he actually believes it. Whoever blesses Israel and the Jews will be blessed. So he gave a blessing. Rabbi, you should be blessed, blessed. אָמֵן *Amen*. Don't dismiss that. Bottle it. Capture it. אַל תְּהִי בִּרְכַּת הֶדְיוֹט *Al tehi birkas hedyot*. Says the מְרוֹמֵי שָׂדֶה *Meromei Sadeh* and the נְצִי\"ב *Netziv*, that's talking about a non-Jew. But a Jew, that's not a הֶדְיוֹט *hedyot*. No Jew is a הֶדְיוֹט *hedyot*. No Jew is a simple. Every Jew is is great. And therefore, run after and accept and bottle their בְּרָכָה *bracha*. But I love this image of the power of the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent. I know not everybody has the מִנְהָג *minhag*. I come from a family of the מִנְהָג *minhag*. I got a בְּרָכָה *bracha* from my father every Friday night. And עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה *ad ha'yom ha'zeh*, not only do we call, children wherever we are, try to get a בְּרָכָה *bracha* before שַׁבָּת *Shabbos*, but my father has the מִנְהָג *minhag*, wherever he is in the world on Friday night, you'll see he closes his eyes and he gives a בְּרָכָה *bracha* to every one of his children and his grandchildren through telepathy. You don't have to be present. You're taking a pause and you're giving a בְּרָכָה *bracha*. And you give a בְּרָכָה *bracha*. I try with my children and grandchildren every עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת *erev Shabbos*. We live in a gift of technology. You can, right, this was like George Jetson stuff. You can now on a screen in real time, video, all of them at the same time, wherever they are, New York, Israel, Florida, all for free, FaceTime, WhatsApp, for free, Zoom. And you could be looking and you could put your hand on their head, the camera, and give a בְּרָכָה *bracha*. And don't, I don't have time, we ran out of time, doesn't matter, I'm hungry, we got to make the עֹנֶג *oneg*, the שָׁלוֹם זָכָר *shalom zachar*. This is the most powerful בְּרָכָה *bracha*. You're going to waste it? You're going to squander it? Everyone was so proud when they had an in, the VIP line to go see רַב חַיִּים *Rav Chaim*, זַצַ\"ל *zatzal*. Everyone else the line was down the stairs and up the block in בְּנֵי בְּרַק *Bnei Brak*. I got in, I got, they got a בוחא *buha*, I got a בְּרָכָה וְהַצְלָחָה *bracha v'hatzlacha*. Beautiful, it's great, it's important, it's wonderful. You know what's even more powerful than רַב חַיִּים'ס *Rav Chaim's* בְּרָכָה *bracha*? Your parents. Did you stop at your parents? You don't have to wait on line. Except if you're רַב חַיִּים'ס *Rav Chaim's* children and grandchildren. But you don't have to wait online. So there's this image of the power of the בְּרָכָה *bracha* of a parent. And I say this from both sides, as children, we should run to go get that בְּרָכָה *bracha*. We should ask, we should demand the בְּרָכָה *bracha*. We tell our parents, I don't care it's not your מִנְהָג *minhag*. I want a בְּרָכָה *bracha* anyway, because your בְּרָכָה *bracha* is more powerful than anything else I can get. People fly to Israel, get three בְּרָכוֹת *brachos* to take a flight back that night. Forget that, FaceTime your parent, get a בְּרָכָה *bracha*. It's the most powerful בְּרָכָה *bracha*. And as parents, the power we have in our lips, בְּרִית כְּרוּתָה לִשְׂפָתַיִם שֶׁל הוֹרִים *bris krusa l'sfasayim shel horim*. The power that we have, says the פֶּלֶא יוֹעֵץ *Pele Yoetz*, the בְּרִית *bris* that's in the, in the lips, the power in the lips of a parent. Are any of us so confident, so complacent with our children we don't have to דאַוונען *daven* for them? Do any of our children not need a בְּרָכָה *bracha* for געזונט *gezunt* and שָׁלוֹם בַּיִת *shalom bayis* and success in everything of life?I'm sorry I'm going on and on, but it's so beautiful. We have to take advantage of that. Okay, we're still going backwards here. We're still going backwards. What should we look at while we're still going backwards? וַיִּחַר אַף יַעֲקֹב *Vayichar af Yaakov*. פֶּרֶק ל' פָּסוּק ב' *Perek Lamed Pasuk Beis*. What happened? Let's go back to... יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov's* married to רָחֵל *Rachel* and לֵאָה *Leah*. Again, we're out of order, but the תּוֹרָה *Torah* is out of order. אֵין מֻקְדָּם וּמְאֻחָר לַפָּרָשָׁה *Ein mukdam u'me'uchar la'parsha*. Perspectives. So we're out of order. So he's married to both of them. לֵאָה *Leah* has children, רָחֵל *Rachel* does not. וַתֵּרֶא רָחֵל כִּי לֹא יָלְדָה לְיַעֲקֹב וַתְּקַנֵּא רָחֵל בַּאֲחֹתָהּ *Va'tere Rachel ki lo yalda l'Yaakov va'tekanei Rachel b'achosa*. She's jealous of her sister. וַתֹּאמֶר אֶל יַעֲקֹב הָבָה לִּי בָנִים וְאִם אַיִן מֵתָה אָנֹכִי *Va'tomer el Yaakov, havah li banim, v'im ayin, meisa anochi*. Give me children, and if not, I'm dead. Consider me dead. Wow, those are very powerful words, very painful, painful words. On this says רַב סוֹלוֹבֵיְצִ'יק *Rav Soloveitchik*.*Rachel* was a silent, mute woman who lived in a sacrificial life and died young. In distress and despair, as a barren woman who was condemned to loneliness for the rest of her life, she abruptly exploded. The request she made of יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* betrayed her desperation. When one reaches an impasse at the point of exhaustion, feeling a night of loneliness descending, the response is to explode incoherently. רָחֵל's *Rachel's* demand was a shriek of hopelessness. This is the extreme emotional reaction of someone who suffered silently, hidden, and now yells in emotional torment. If the desire for children is not redeemed and purged of its instinctual elements, a mother wants a child only to satisfy her need for loving and caring for another. חַוָּה *Chava* wanted a child because she was in need of giving to emotional pressure to gratify an instinctual drive to shower someone with love. What this leads to was irrelevant for חַוָּה *Chava*. Purpose is fulfilling and expressing this love. In the covenantal community, however, the urge to love is purged of its egotistic, instinctual elements and turns into a need to serve, to sacrifice, to participate in the great adventure of being a people of הַשֵׁם *Hashem* and a messianic community. The woman is no more a dandling playing mother, she is a mother who teaches, educates, trains, and consecrates the child to הַשֵׁם *Hashem*. Covenantal mothers desire and craving for a child flow from the deep recesses of her personality where הַשֵׁם'ס *Hashem's* image is engraved. She tries to imitate the creator. Jewish mystics asked, why did God create the world? Does הַשֵׁם *Hashem* the almighty, infinite, eternal, omniscient, and transcendent need a frail, finite, transient, and conditioned world? Yes, they said. He needs the world in order to have another on whom to practice kindness and mercy, to let someone share in the great eye awareness of being, to give love and bestow חֶסֶד *chesed*. הַשֵׁם *Hashem* did not need the world for himself, he wanted it to give man the possibility of attaining greatness. So to the covenantal mother needs a child to make happy, to have the latter join the great community of the covenant, to serve the great cause, to consecrate the child to הַשֵׁם *Hashem*. רַב סוֹלוֹבֵיְצִ'יק *Rav Soloveitchik* writes so poetically, so beautifully. Our maternal and paternal instinct, our desire to have children is not someone to bring us our slippers and our newspaper, not someone to carry on our name, not to have a little קַדִּישֶׁל *Kaddishel* who will say the קַדִּישׁ *Kaddish* on our behalf. Our desire is because we believe that this world is here to serve. We're here to repair it. We're here to bring Godliness to it, and we want to increase and invite and bring into that covenantal community a new generation, a continuity who will continue this Jewish story and continue this Jewish impact. And so when a person suffers because they haven't, מֵתָה אָנֹכִי *meisa anochi*. And from here the גְּמָרָא *Gemara* says there are four who are dead even while they are alive, and one of them is someone who does not have a child. It's tragic, it's so challenging, it's so painful. And we דאַוונען *daven*, we דאַוונען *daven* with the depth of our being that those who are waiting and longing should have healthy children. And there are those who don't have biological children, but they leave the world with incredible children, incredible תּוֹלְדוֹת *toldos*. The לובאַוויטשער רבי *Lubavitcher Rebbe*, the כִּנּוּס *Kinus*, last week, a week and a half ago, the כִּנּוּס הַשְּׁלוּחִים *kinus ha'shluchim*. 6,500 שְׁלוּחִים *shluchim* around the world, many of whom never met the רֶבִּי *rebbe*. He didn't have biological children. Did he not have תּוֹלְדוֹת *toldos*? Did he not leave children all over the world? One could have no biological children and have more children than those who do. But we דאַוונען *daven*, מֵתָה אָנֹכִי *meisa anochi*.Tomorrow night יוכבד נחמה *Yocheved Nechama* are participating in a webinar. 21 years ago we had a stillbirth of a little boy in the eighth month of pregnancy. So a webinar for prenatal loss, people with pregnancy loss, and we'll be sharing that story and real experts like Dr. Blumenthal and others will be on it. Anyone who could benefit from it is invited, the shul sent out an email with the link to the webinar. מֵתָה אָנֹכִי *meisa anochi*. That's what the אִמָּהוֹת *imahos* went through, that's what רָחֵל *Rachel* went through. Her whole definition, her whole identity was, I'm a mother. And if I'm not a mother, I'm not. So I need a child. I'm desperate for a child. I've shared previously, but our פָּרָשָׁה *parsha* is a fascinating... לֵאָה *Leah*, her whole identity, what does she want to be? A wife. She wants to be loved, a beloved wife. And רָחֵל *Rachel* all she wants is to be a mother. And in their lifetime, לֵאָה *Leah* is always competing to be the wife, and רָחֵל *Rachel* is always competing to have the children. But in their death, in perpetuity, where is לֵאָה *Leah* buried? Right next to יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov*. And how do we know רָחֵל *Rachel*, what do we think of רָחֵל *Rachel* as, what's her name, what's her title? מאַמע רחל *Mame Rachel*. Each of them got in perpetuity their legacy what they fought for in their lifetime. רָחֵל *Rachel* is מאַמע רחל *Mame Rachel* forever and לֵאָה *Leah* is buried right next to יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* as יַעֲקֹב's *Yaakov's* wife for eternity. They got in the next world what they were looking for and fighting for in this one.How does יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* react? וַיִּחַר אַף יַעֲקֹב *Vayichar af Yaakov*. פֶּרֶק ל' פָּסוּק ב' *Perek Lamed Pasuk Beis*. וַיִּחַר אַף יַעֲקֹב בְּרָחֵל *Vayichar af Yaakov b'Rachel*. יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* explodes, יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* reciprocates, יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* has his own outrage and outburst. וַיֹּאמֶר הֲתַחַת אֱלֹקִים אָנֹכִי *Vayomer, ha'tachat Elokim anochi*. Leave me alone, what do you want from me? What am I, what am I God? Am I the one who determines whether you'll have the baby or not? Who am I? Who am I? יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* explodes. The סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* says, דִּין וּדְבָרִים בֵּינֵיהֶם. What was going on? רָחֵל בִּקְּשָׁה מִיַּעֲקֹב שֶׁיִּתְפַּלֵּל עָלֶיהָ. *Rachel biksha m'Yaakov she'yitpalel aleha*. רָחֵל *Rachel* was saying, דאַוונען *daven* for me. Like יִצְחָק *Yitzchak* דאַוונען'ד *davened* for רִבְקָה *Rivka*. Your father דאַוונען'ד *davened* for your mother. Why aren't you דאַוונען'ינג *davening* for me? And what does יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* answer? יִצְחָק *Yitzchak* had no other children. My father had no other children, so he דאַוונען'ד *davened* for my mother. But I'm good to go. I got a little someone named לֵאָה *Leah*. And we're good. We've got kids. So, I'm good to go. The רַמְבַּ\"ן *Ramban* asks a question. The obvious question. The question I'm sure it's bothering all of you right now. That's יַעֲקֹב אָבִינוּ *Yaakov Avinu*? That's what יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* learned from his זיידע אַבְרָהָם *zeideh Avraham*? That's the חֶסֶד *chesed*? Your wife is in unbearable pain. You're at the fertility specialist. She hears she still has problems, she doesn't have a child. She bursts out screaming at you, nu, why won't you דאַוונען *daven* for me yet? Why don't you get a בְּרָכָה *bracha* for me? Why don't you do anything about this? And the answer is, I gotta get home to the kids that I have with your sister לֵאָה *Leah*. I'm good to go. You're on your own. So cruel, so callous. Ask the רַמְבַּ\"ן *Ramban*, how? How could he? וְכִי צַדִּיקִים אֵין מִתְפַּלְּלִין בְּעַד אֲחֵרִים *V'chi tzaddikim ein mispalelin b'ad acherim*? And how does he scream? The סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* says, וַיִּחַר עַל אָמְרָהּ הָבָה לִי כִּי לֹא הָיָה בְּיָדוֹ *vayichar al amra havah li, ki lo hayah b'yado*. יַעֲקֹב's *Yaakov's* outburst, says the סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno*, was not rejecting that he could and should דאַוונען *daven*. What was he saying? No, no, we believe in הַשֵׁם *Hashem*. I don't have the power. You're telling me, הָבָה לִי *havah li*, that I should give you a child? That is a שטיקל אַפִּיקוֹרְסוּת *shtickel apikorsus*. It's a little bit of כְּפִירָה *kefira*. What do you mean I should give you a child? I can't give you a child. We submit and we surrender only to him. So says the סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno*, יַעֲקֹב *Yaakov* was not being callous or cruel. He was not rejecting that he should דאַוונען *daven*, he was going to דאַוונען *daven*. What he was rejecting and giving מוּסָר *mussar* about was, don't say הָבָה לִי *havah li*. I can't give you kids. We surrender to הַשֵׁם *Hashem*. It's all up to him. It's all up to him. But still. So then how did רָחֵל *Rachel* say הָבָה לִי *havah li*? Based on the סְפוֹרְנוֹ *Sforno* now. רָחֵל *Rachel* wasn't a צַדֶּקֶת *tzadekes*? She didn't know? She didn't believe in הַשֵׁם *Hashem*? She didn't surrender to him? Says the מַגִּיד יוֹסֵף *Maggid Yosef*, אָדָם שֶׁחָסוּךְ בָּנִים לוֹקֶה בְּכִפְלַיִם *adam she'chasuch banim lokeh b'kiflayim*. Somebody who doesn't have and is longing for children is struck with a double whammy. הֶעְדֵּר עֹנֶג גִּדּוּל יְלָדִים *He'eder oneg gidul yeladim*. First of all, they're missing the absence of raising children. וְכֵן הָעוּבְדָּה שֶׁאֵין מוֹתִיר שֵׁם וּשְׁאֵרִית אַחֲרָיו *V'chen ha'uvda she'ein mosir shem u'she'eiris acharav*. And also the reality that they don't have a legacy and a continuity through biological children. הַמִּצְטַעֶרֶת עַל הֶעְדֵּר גִּדּוּל בָּנִים רָאוּי לְפַיֵּס כְּפִי שֶׁאִשָּׁה מְנַחֶמֶת אֶת בַּעְלָהּ וִידִידָיו יְנַחֲמוּהוּ *Ha'mitz'ta'eres al he'eder gidul banim ra'ui l'fayes k'fi she'isha menachemes es ba'ala v'yedidav yenachamuhu*. So if you don't have children to give you love and you don't have a home filled with children, maybe it can be compensated with extra love from a spouse. אֲבָל אֵין נֶחָמָה בְּצַעַר שֶׁל שֵׁם וּשְׁאֵרִית *Aval ein nechama b'tza'ar shel shem u'she'eiris*. But all the love and all the affection in the world of a spouse cannot compensate for the reality of not having continuity. וזהו מה שאלקנה אומר לחנה, הלא אנוכי טוב לך מעשרה בנים V'zehu ma she'Elkanah omer l'Chana, haloi anochi tov lach me'asara banim. חנה Chana also was barren. אלקנה Elkanah had a co-wife, her name was פנינה Penina. And אלקנה Elkanah also seems a little cruel to חנה Chana, a little cruel. And he says to her, הלא אנוכי טוב לך מעשרה בנים Haloi anochi tov lach me'asara banim? What are you so miserable and down? I know you don't have children and I'm sorry you don't have children. Aren't I better for you than ten children? At least you've got me. My love, my affection, my companionship. סבר שעיקר צערה היא על גידול ילדים Savar she'ikar tza'arah hi al gidul yeladim. He thought what was the core of her pain? The house is too quiet. There's no one to show you love and loyalty. But you've got me. And what does חנה Chana answer? That her main source of pain, שכן בן כה אינו חשוב לגדלו כי ילד, אלא לנתנו להשם כל ימי חייו shekein ben ko eino chashuv l'gadlo ki yeled, ella l'nitno la'Hashem kol yemei chayav. What does she pledge and promise? If I have a child, what is she going to do with him immediately? What does חנה Chana promise? Child is dedicated to Hashem. And טאקע takka, she has a son שמואל Shmuel. And right away she gives him to the משכן Mishkan. עלי Eli raises שמואל Shmuel, not her. Which is evidence that what? She did not want a child to bring her her slippers and newspaper. She did not want a child to fill the house with the noise of a sound of brick and plates. Why did she want a child? She wanted to make that difference, that impact in this world what Rav Soloveitchik described so beautifully. ביקשה להשאיר שם ושארית Biksha l'hash'ir shem u'she'eiris. כנגדה רחל ראתה רק בקשה לגדל ילד K'negdah Rachel ra'ata rak bakasha l'gadel yeled. כי ידעה שתשאיר שם ושארית Ki yad'a shetash'ir shem u'she'eiris. Rachel was the opposite. She knew she would have a legacy. She knew she'd have a continuity. She knew she was one of the אמהות imahos. What did she miss? שהאמהות ראו ברוח הקודש שיעקב מעמיד שנים עשר שבטים She'ha'imahos ra'u b'ruach hakodesh she'Yaakov ma'amid shneim asar shevatim. רחל רק חששה שלא תזכה לגדל פרי בטנה Rachel rak chashsha shelo tizkeh l'gadel pri bitnah. She wanted to be a mother. She wanted a house filled with the sounds of children. אם אין מתה אנוכי Im ayin metah anochi. מכאן למי שאין לו בנים חשוב כמת Mikan l'mi she'ein lo banim chashuv k'meis. חשוב כמת כהאחים שאינם חיים כשאין בנים לגדל Chashuv k'meis k'ha'achim she'einam chayim k'she'ein banim l'gadel. That's what she wanted. Therefore הנה אמרתי hinei amarti, that's what she says.That's why she says to יעקב Yaakov, הרי שכל מבוקשה של רחל היה לגדל בן harei shekol mevukasha shel Rachel haya l'gadel ben. בקשר לחסרון זה רואים להסביר בזה שיעקב עמד והעיר לה וייסרה Bakkesher lachisaron zeh roim l'hasbir b'zeh she'Yaakov amad v'he'ir lah v'yisrah. Yaakov says is my love not enough? To which she was saying, that's not enough. ויחר אף יעקב ברחל שזלזלה באהבתו Vayichar af Yaakov b'Rachel she'zilzela b'ahavaso. Yaakov, the reason he was angry was not about her faith and not about an unwillingness to דאווענען daven, but he felt that Rachel was challenging his love for her. His love for her was so great and she says it's not enough. He says my love for you is not enough? How could it not be enough? How could it not be enough? And then he goes on further to explain this, to explain this conversation.I'll tell you one more quick one. Very, very quick. Very, very quick. ר' אברהם חיים מזלוטשוב Rav Avraham Chaim MiZlotchov, the אור החיים Ohr HaChaim. ויאהב גם את רחל מלאה Vaye'ehav gam es Rachel miLeah. Pasuk says that Yaakov loved Rachel מלאה miLeah. What does מלאה miLeah mean? More than Leah, right? He says wrong. What made him love Rachel? מלאה MiLeah, from the fact that Rachel gave Leah the סימנים simanim. He fell in love with Rachel not because of the size dress she wore on the resume, the picture that was attached. Not because of how many zeros were after the one, her יחוס yichus. Not because of her father's bank account or real estate holdings. You know why he fell in love? ויאהב גם את רחל Vaye'ehav gam es Rachel, why? מלאה MiLeah. From the fact that Rachel gave Leah the סימנים simanim. Rachel was so incredibly kind and modest and good and giving, עד כדי כך ad kedei kach that she likely never even told Leah. From the episode of the דודאים dudaim, when Leah comes back and says, it's not enough that you took my husband, you also now want to take my son's flowers? To which the commentary say, huh? If you're Rachel, and what does Rachel say? You're right, I'm sorry, maybe we can share Yaakov, we'll switch nights. If you're Rachel, you go crazy. Are you out of your mind? I took your husband? Are you crazy? And some say what do you deduce from here? That Rachel never told Leah. Leah never found out that Rachel, that that wedding night was supposed to be Rachel. Never found out. That level, to keep that to herself, to keep that secret to herself, to do the right thing and never want it spoken about, and never even tell the beneficiary of your kindness what you did for them. Wow, Yaakov fell in love. The only two people in the world who knew it were Yaakov and Rachel. So ויאהב גם את רחל מלאה vaye'ehav gam es Rachel miLeah, from the episode and from the transmission of the סימנים simanim because of what had happened with Leah. So much more to talk about, but there's a פרשה parsha again next year. Tomorrow, 10 minutes of מסילת ישרים Mesilas Yesharim, Living with אמונה Emunah in the morning, behind the בימה bimah at night, webinar on prenatal loss at night. Have a, I'm giving you a ברכת הדיוט birchas hedyot. Have a fantastic day. אמן Amen. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay.
