Transcript
Good morning Boker Tov. Welcome back to Living with Emuna. Decaffeinated style. Everyone should have a meaningful and an uplifting fast. I want to thank our generous sponsors of the series for the year. Our dear friends, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut. In memory of Bella's mother, Doctor Ellen Shanzer. Yahrzeit is the tenth, was the tenth of Adar. Today's this morning's shiur is also sponsored by Sarah Margulies in commemoration of her mother's yahrzeit, Miriam bas Mordechai, on March 19th. I hope Sarah is watching and with us, and wishing her well and thank you so much for that generosity. And sponsored anonymously for the refuah sheleimah of חיים עוזר בן לאה. Should have a speedy painless and full refuah sheleimah, חיים עוזר בן לאה. We are in the final stretch, this is the last week of the BRS Global Campaign. If you've not yet contributed, if you're a BRS member, you're more than doing your part. If you're not a BRS member and you're enjoying our classes, our writing, our articles, our coffee cups, then please BRSonline.org/global. BRSonline.org/global. Please do your part to help enable us to continue to teach and to spread and to get the message out. Speaking of empty coffee cups, so you know that we sold last week and we're going to sell them again this morning. Our caffeinate with kavanah. Get your day started, make the bracha shehakol nihyah bidvaro with kavanah. We also now have the disposable edition. So next week im yirtzeh Hashem we will have them, we'll be drinking from them, they're free. We'll also provide if people want to take a stack of them home for a donation. So we have our reminder every day, caffeinate with kavanah, shehakol nihyah bidvaro. Get your first bracha started off correctly. This is one of the benefits of coming in person. If you're watching online, we do not yet have the ability to sell you or send to you. However, for the right donation to the global campaign, I'll fly there and bring it to you. So be generous. So what's that right donation? That's a good question. Let me put it this way, we're at 126,000 and we have to get to 150,000. If you get us there, I will fly and bring you whatever you want. Yocheved will come with me and we'll take it out of the money. So get us to the end and we're there. Okay, before we jump into today, today's Ta'anis Esther, we're going to talk about Ta'anis Esther and Purim for a moment, although we won't harp on it because there are many people who listen to the Emuna shiur, not on the day that it's presented. We want to continue to make it relevant all year round. But I want to first read to you an amazing email. I got several emails, I love the emails. But here's another amazing email about smiling. I hope everyone's still doing their homework and smiling. Now you may say, Rabbi, smile, Ta'anis Esther? Who smiles on Ta'anis Esther? It's a fast day. Fast days are about teshuvah, they're about repentance. Can you text Jeffrey to raise the air conditioning? Without breakfast, it gets colder. Anyway, Ta'anis Esther's a fast day. Smile? Isn't that inconsistent? Isn't that incongruent? Isn't that in conflict with the notion of a fast day? So the answer is, you're wrong. Most fast days, you're right. The Rambam writes that most fast days are mipnei hatzaros. We fast because of the calamities and the tragedies that occurred to us and the fast should motivate and spur us to do teshuvah by abstaining and refraining from physical material pleasure, indulging in the physical material world. It reminds us to emphasize our soul, our neshamah, not our guf, our body. So normally a fast is there, it's designed to elicit from us a sense of teshuvah, that we should do teshuvah. But the Rambam, when he writes about Ta'anis Esther, he doesn't say mipnei hatzaros. He doesn't say that we fast to commemorate calamity. He says we fast mipnei hatanis. We're fasting to remember the way they did it years ago. 2,000 years ago, the Jewish people were in peril. 2,000 years ago, the Jewish people confronted their future. And do you know what they did? What did Mordechai say? What was Mordechai's reaction? What was his antidote? What was the answer to a wicked, evil, nefarious person who stood up and pledged to exterminate and eradicate the Jewish people? What did Mordechai do? He certainly didn't say, nah, he doesn't mean it, you don't understand him, he had a rough childhood, Haman, it's not his fault, but he'll never follow through, it's a bluff, show him love. You know what Mordechai did? He said לך כנוס את כל היהודים. Go and gather all the Jewish people and fast and daven. Go practice unity, come together, have a connection, have camaraderie. And when the miracle happens, by the way, we continue to promote that how? משלוח מנות איש לרעהו. Normally every man for himself. Have you been to a smorg recently? Normally it's every person for themselves. You take your life into your own hands at a smorg. Exactly. I always marvel at the... Separate seating weddings that have a mixed schmorg. You know, a mixed schmorg, you know, you can hashtag MeToo at a schmorg going for that piece of sushi or stuffed cabbage. So what do you mean, לך כנוס כל היהודים, go and gather everyone and v'tzumu and go fast. Go fast. So Mishloach Manos, Purim the mitzvah is we give a gift to the other person. Not every person for themselves, not who can amass and take the best food, who can give and contribute. Why? It's a big machlokes, it's a debate, the origin or the reason for Mishloach Manos, but the simple understanding of the Megillah is משלוח מנות איש לרעהו. Go form a re'us, go form a friendship, go form a connection, go form a bond, go create community. That's what saved us and got us through it, and that's what will save us and get us through it again, and that's what we create. So therefore, the Rambam writes that Taanis Esther today the fast, it's not a sad fast, it's not a somber fast, this is not even a fast we're supposed to do teshuvah every day, but this is not a fast to motivate us to do teshuvah. Today's fast is to remember and recall and to relive the way that we practiced unity back then, that the answer or the catalyst, if you want to get to Purim tonight, if you want to get to the partying tonight, it's preceded, it must be preceded first by לך כנוס כל היהודים, v'tzumu alai. We have to fast, we have to feel together, we have to feel connected. So this is a fast which is not motivating or inspiring teshuvah, this is a fast which is commemorative and reliving the way that we gathered together back then. If you want to get it together, it's only by being together. The way to get it together is by being together. So there's no fewer reasons to fast this year than any other year. You know, my sister was in Moldova, she was volunteering with United Hatzalah to help get people across the border and she just went on the plane. United Hatzalah has been commissioning planes bringing refugees to Israel. So I spoke to her when she got back to Israel and she was describing the scene, she said it's mamash like Fiddler on the Roof. You stand there and you watch the border and you're seeing, you're seeing old people with canes and walkers, leaving all their possessions behind. You're seeing women who said goodbye to their husbands who are not allowed to leave, they have to stay and fight and there's no way that they'll ever know how they are, there's no way for them to be in contact, there's no connection for them to have. You're seeing children, you're seeing people leave all their possessions, all their items behind, come with the bare minima with nothing and nowhere to go, and if not for the people there taking care of them, it's absolutely astonishing what's happening. So לך כנוס כל היהודים, are we not in a circumstance, you know, we sitting here in Boca Raton and sunny Florida and palm trees and we watch the news and maybe we're startled for a moment and then we go back to what we were doing, but there's something historic and horrific that's happening and our lives have to be interrupted and this Taanis Esther let us not only fast today just because it says we have to fast, but let that fast be a recreation of coming together and of being together, of getting together in order to be able to please God, be worthy of Hashem's salvation yet again. Let us be worthy of Hashem's salvation yet again. So, oh, how do we get to this? Smiling, because you'll say, but it's Taanis Esther, how can you? The answer the Ra'avad writes, the Ra'avad, the great intellectual adversary of the Rambam, the Ra'avad writes that there's nothing wrong with being happy on this fast. Most fasts you walk around somber and you daven and you're serious and you grow and teshuvah and introspection and self-reflection, but this fast, Taanis Esther, it's unlike any other fast. This is a happy fast. In other words, tonight and tomorrow we'll relive Purim, but today we relive what enabled Purim by coming together, davening, fasting and so on. So smiling is not antithetical or contradiction to Taanis Esther and Purim. So we've been talking about smiling, simcha and smiling, and shidduchim. So I got another email. Thanks from New York, I won't say which community, for all the awesome Torah, I'd love a mug, fine, too bad, you don't live here. Your story on the emunah shiur... it's got to be some privileges to being local, no? But again, anonymous person, for the right price I will hand deliver your mug. Your story on the emunah shiur brought me joy and a smile. 20 plus years ago as a young single college graduate in the community, I went for a bracha from a particular rebbe. After four hours I was called in. The rebbe said to be happy. I said, rebbe, I am happy. He said, be happy. I was like, wow, if this is all the rebbe said to me, it must be a very deep Torah concept, it must be something I need. I'm generally a very happy, positive person, optimistic, smiley, but those words stuck with me and I turned my relationships, especially with Hashem, to focus on happiness. I made a conscious effort to smile much more. And then Hakadosh Baruch Hu sent me my zivug. He sent me my other in a similar way to your story. I was on the women's side at a Kiddush in shul on the Upper West Side and my now husband saw me smiling and he asked a friend, who's that woman smiling? And I was set up. The power of a smile and emunah. We were married that Tes-Zayin Adar. And now a gazillion sleepless nights and four children. PS I was always petrified on parent teacher conference night. Okay. Anyway, spoke about that also last week. So smiling, the power of a smile, power of a smile, that should be our shidduch campaign. Smile for shidduchim. How many people are telling us stories that they hit a wall, they weren't being set up, they weren't meeting the other, and they made a conscious effort to smile, and that's what attracted people to them? You notice the person smiling. You know, a person who has a positive energy and aura is not just who they are; the positive energy and aura surrounds them. It gets to the room before they get there. So a smile, a smile changes the energy, a smile changes the aura, a smile changes absolutely everything. The power of the smile, the power of simcha, the power of positive thinking, power of a positive bias, the positive of the power of positivity in general, that is what we have been learning. One more Purim thought, which is relevant all year, whenever you're listening to this, but it's worth listening to. Rav Zilberstein quotes, last time I shared with you Rav Zilberstein, I told you once a month he puts out a sefer called Vavei HaAmudim. Last month I shared with you his introduction where he talked about imagine you someone from 200 years ago met someone from today. Even indoor plumbing, electricity, dishwasher, washing machine, everyone must be happy. No, actually people are more miserable than ever. How could that be? Remember that was last time. So this time in his introduction for the second month of Adar he talks about the following. He says there are two people we have in Tanach who were motza chein found favor in other people's eyes. One of them is Esther and who is the other? Joseph. Is Yosef. Very good, very good Elaine, is Yosef, Yosef HaTzaddik. Yosef and Esther both find favor. What do they have in common? Rav Zilberstein points out, both of them are incredibly positive people. Both of them have a smile and a positive energy and a positive aura and that's what finds favor in other people's eyes. But here's the remarkable thing about both of them. Both of them had an incredibly challenging and otherwise objectively miserable lives or parts of their life. Yosef, who's on top of the world, is then thrown in a pit, left to die, sold to slavery, falsely accused, languishing in prison, separated and apart from his father and his family. Look at Yosef's life, look at Yosef's life. And Yosef had every right to be down, depressed, negative, focused on himself. Yosef had every right, a shtikel negativity, a shtikel frown, to sit there and say "Woe was me," you know? I miss my father, my mother passed away, I didn't even get to know her, I miss my family, I'm in a foreign land, I'm falsely accused. If anyone had a right to be a little down and you'd say, "Nu, what's the matter?" you'd say, "Yeah, you have a right to be a little down." But Yosef stayed positive and hopeful and optimistic and faithful. And he smiled, he smiled and that changed his life. And Esther HaMalka. You know, normally a baby's born, Rav Zilberstein writes this way, a baby's born and the first scream is "Mazel tov!" When Esther was born, the first scream was "I'm so sorry, Hamakom yenachem eschem." Her mother died in childbirth. Esther never met her mother, she was an orphan from day one, from hour one, from moment one. Instead of being Mazel tov, Esther's baby naming was a shiva. And she goes to live with her uncle Mordechai, and she's davening and desperate and lonely. She marries her uncle and Vashti dies and Achashverosh is doing a beauty contest. And Esther davens her heart out and says "Let it not be me, let me not be chosen, let me not be noticed." She knows she has striking looks. And does Hashem listen? She's chosen. She says, "Let me live in the palace but there's so many other wives, let him not notice or care about me." Does Hashem answer? No, Achashverosh chooses and falls in love with her. At every step of the way she davens and pours out her heart and seemingly every step of the way Hashem says "No". No to having a mother, no to finding happiness, no to not being chosen by Achashverosh, no to not being Achashverosh's favorite. Every step of the way she davens, every step of the way he says "No". Does she lose her faith? Does she lose her positivity? Does she lose her smile? She still finds favor in the eyes of everyone around her. Yosef, and that's why Adar is the month of Yosef, each month is associated with one of the shevatim. Adar in which Purim occurs is the month of Yosef, because Yosef and Esther have this in common that no matter what's happening in their lives. Now, you can imagine Esther spends her life thinking that she's hearing "No", but at the end she looks back at the story and realizes every "No" was really a "Yes". Hashem was positioning her all along to be in the right place at the right time and able to say the right thing and save her people. All along it seemed like she was getting "No" after "No", but really it was all one big "Yes", just didn't know that till the end. I said yesterday at the parsha class, the Minchas Asher of Rav Asher Weiss points out, normally when we read the Torah, we read it as a scroll that we open. So what we've just read then gets rolled into the scroll and you don't see it. But the Megillah's unusual. It's the only thing that we read that you have to unfold entirely. It's called an Iggeres a letter, so we read it. If you look tonight, you'll notice tonight and tomorrow the Baal Korei doesn't sit with a scroll. My Megillah, I'm following along, I have a scroll just the column that they're up to, I read, but the Baal Korei, the one reading the Megillah, unfolds the entire thing and folds it so they keep flipping it over, but it's all open. And says Rashi, you know why? Because this is a story that you can only understand when the whole thing's open in front of you from beginning to end. You have to see the entire thing at once. We sometimes zoom in and we only see a moment of time and we don't understand. Where are you, God? And why me? And why is this happening? And sometimes you have to open the entire story and you have to have it all unfolded in front of you. And only when you could see it from beginning to end does it come into clarity, only then does it make sense, and that's why we read the Megillah in this unusual fashion. Yosef sitting languishing in prison. Do you know how Yosef gets out of prison? You know what day of the year he got out of prison, by the way? We commemorate it every year on Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah, Yosef got a new lease on life, it was his Rosh Hashanah, he got a new lease on life and he left prison on Rosh Hashanah. What precipitated, what was the catalyst to his leaving prison? Because the person, the wine steward remembered. Because there were two people who had dreams and Yosef successfully interprets their dreams and one of them remembers him when he gets out and that's Yosef's ticket out. Why was Yosef talking to them in the prison cell? He asked them. What was the conversation? So the answer is Yosef's sitting there and he sees two downtrodden, he sees two negative people with a negative aura, negative energy, the miserable verbissene, sad, moaning, complaining, groaning, and he says to them, Hey brothers, מדוע פניכם רעים היום? Hey, what's with the sad face? In this cell, we're only happy. This prison cell's only smiles. מדוע פניכם רעים היום? Get that sadness out of here. What's with the sadnesses? Oh, what's the sadness? Do you know who we were and how we got here? Do you know the dreams that we had and what's going to be? Yosef says, Well, I can interpret them. I got bad news for one of you, good news for one of you, but I can interpret your dreams. What precipitated, what led to Yosef's liberation from prison was מדוע פניכם רעים היום. No matter what he confronted, no matter what he faced, Yosef was determined to be happy. He put a smile on his face no matter what. And I want to again qualify as I have the last several weeks, I'm not suggesting that a person sitting shiva should sit with a smile on his face. There are moments of emotional, spiritual, physical pain. I'm not suggesting that while you're going through rehab for your torn Achilles and it hurts that it's not okay for it to hurt. You don't have to smile. There are moments of pain of every which way and it's okay to not smile in those moments. But the default, what should be the default disposition? The default disposition on our face should be a smile. So Yosef says, I don't, you think I'm happy to be here? I'm also, I was up top of the world, I was thrown in a pit, I was sold into slavery, I was falsely accused. Do you know what I did for my boss Potiphar? Do you know how I quadrupled his portfolio? I made him a rich man, I took care of his home. Do you know that when his wife put advances on me every single day, as tempted as I was, I respected and honored their marriage? And you know what I got in return? I'm sitting here in this prison. And do you see me sad? With all that, says Yosef, I've got a smile on my face. You know why? Because a smile and happiness is a decision, not an emotion. Says Yosef, I've made the decision to be happy. I put a smile on my face. So what about you two? מדוע פניכם רעים היום? What's the deal? No sadness in this cell. Only happiness. Smile for shidduchim, only happiness, he says to the two of them. And you know what happens? He gets out because of that. It's his Rosh Hashanah, it happened on Rosh Hashanah, and our Rosh Hashanah, you want a new year? Care about other people, ask them how they're doing. Take away their sadness and show them your smile like Yosef. So Yosef and Esther, Adar is the month of Yosef, Esther, the two of them were determined that no matter what. Can you imagine Esther? She says, Hashem, it wasn't bad enough that I grew up, I never met my mother? Not bad enough that I never met my mother? She died in childbirth. I never met her, I know nothing about her. There are no videos, there are no pictures, there's no testimonials, there's nothing. That wasn't bad enough? And then instead of living happily married to my uncle who at least takes care of me, took care of me, now you took me into the home of Achashverosh and now you made me his favorite and now the all of that's not enough? But she doesn't say that. She has a smile. She's determined to be happy. A positivity bias. And as these emails keep reflecting, smiles change your life. Smile makes all the difference in the world. I got another incredible email. I'm going to share it for next week when you can first caffeinate with kavana on a cup of coffee so you'll remember next week's story. But smile, smile changes the world. And that's what the holiday of Purim is all about. It's not just about, it's not just about an excuse and reason to party. Purim is smile. Be happy. Because you know what, whatever it looks like on the surface, when you read the Megillah, do you see Hashem's name? It's nowhere in the black ink, but it's all over the white parchment. Hashem's name is nowhere written with black ink, but his name is etched everywhere on the white parchment. You gotta look for it, you gotta find it, you have to reveal it. And you have to remember that no matter what appears on the surface, no matter what it looks like on the outside, there's a deeper reason, a deeper meaning, a deeper purpose, there's a deeper story. So smile. Smile because we're gonna find out what it is. We are on page Kuf Nun Gimmel, 153. Rav Itcha Mayer, רב יצחק מאיר מורגנשטרן. And we've been discussing this notion that smiling, that happiness is a decision, not an emotion. That when we attach ourselves to someone and something which is shalem and whole, then we can feel whole. When we feel incomplete or broken, we can feel happy. So how can we feel happy by being connected to that which is whole? There's only one whole thing in the world, and that is Hashem. Tell you something amazing. We are programmed to be happy. We're programmed to be happy. I know that because children are happy. That's true. Babies, I don't mean when they have a dirty diaper or need their next feeding, but babies are happy. You look at a baby and smile, they smile. So you look at a baby, they smile, it makes you smile. Babies are programmed, their default is to be happy. Children are happy. And then what happens? Life. Life gets in the way. And they think the world teaches them, "What are you so happy about? You're not supposed to be happy. Who told you to be happy? What right do you have to have, what are you so happy about?" So they lose the default. Why were they happy when they were so young? Because it was obvious there's a Creator, they have a mommy and a daddy, and they have a mommy and a daddy, and there's a mommy and a daddy for them, and there's a Hashem. So when you're young and innocent and pure, and one might say naive, before you're hardened and cynical and skeptical, so you know there's a God, and that makes you happy all the time. Because whatever happens in your life, there's a God. And then you grow up and, maybe I don't know, doubt and uncertainty, the voice of Amalek creeps in, who knows and is it really true and I once heard and I saw something and this question makes me believe that I can't be happy, can't be true. And when those voices of doubt and uncertainty, the voice of Amalek creep in, then this little child whose default was to smile and be happy learns in life to be miserable, that we're supposed to be miserable. So the default, the way we're programmed, is to be happy. Don't mess it up, don't ruin it. Raise children and teach them and remind them to be happy, to be happy. I think I mentioned last week also, the shiur is dedicated to the memory of Brian Galbut, he was happy. And you know what, because he smiled and chose to be happy, his children are incredibly happy. It's the default, it's the way they were brought up. They did, they were never taught you're supposed to be miserable. So silly them, they're still happy. They still believe there's Hashem, there's a reason they're growing up without their father. But their father taught them that no matter what you face, you can and should be happy. Smile, and you have that capacity, because Hashem is amazing, and everything is amazing, and the world is amazing. כי בדרך כלל מחשבות כאלו הם ממש שקר וטעות. So now Rav Itcha Mayer has been telling us that the thoughts, any thought, any thought that brings you to sadness is the voice of the Yetzer Hara. So the voice that says you're inadequate, you're unworthy, you're incapable, you're pathetic, you're a failure, that's not anything positive to listen to. Ah, I thought we're supposed to do introspection and reflection. I thought we're supposed to evaluate our lives. We are in the positive, in a growth-oriented mindset. But the voice that says don't bother, don't try, you're nothing, you're a failure, it never works, that voice, silence it, reject it, mute that voice, because that is the voice of the Yetzer Hara. Because any voice which makes you sad and somber, any voice that wipes away your smile, that is not the voice of the Yetzer Tov, it's the voice of the Yetzer Hara. Sheker v'to'us. It's a lie, it's false, it's fake, it's counterfeit. ואין כאן בכלל מכשול ואף על צד שכן היה מכשול מכל מקום אינו צריך לעסוק בזה כעת. And let's say you had a fall, and let's say you had a failure, and let's say you had an indiscretion. Let's say you made a mistake and you need to learn from it and you could be better. So there are positive ways to analyze and learn from it, but to look at it and learn from it in a way that makes you feel knocked down, makes you feel like you can't get up, makes you feel like you're unworthy, that is the voice of the Yetzer Hara. That is the voice of Amalek. ומובן מאליו שבכל דברינו כאן אנו לא מדברים באיסורים ברורים ובהלכות מכרעות רק על חומרות וספקות או דברים שתלויים במדרגת האדם ושאר עניינים. Rav Itcha Mayer quickly points out we're not talking about you violated very clear boundaries, you did very egregious or heinous things that are wrong. There a person should feel a certain level of shame or guilt because that's a healthy way to experience and hopefully not repeat. But we're talking just in general. Talking you had the Cape Cod potato chips at midnight. They're talking about you did something which doesn't cross a clear line. Nowhere in Shulchan Aruch does it say you can't have, somebody texted me what happened to the Trader Joe's corn chips? Happens to be, I'm not going to say who, but I happen to notice buried deep in a cabinet late last night. Don't ask why I was rummaging through, it was before a fast day, it was a mitzvah. Someone bought a bag of Trader Joe's corn chips. I'm not saying who, but she'll deliver you a coffee cup for the right price to New York. I'm not saying who, related to her through marriage, but I'm not saying who. So Cape Cod potato chips, Trader Joe's corn chips, whatever is your kryptonite, so we're talking about not something which is clear, it doesn't say in Shulchan Aruch you can't eat them. It does, you have to be healthy, you have to eat right, you have to take care of yourself, but there's no sif in Shulchan Aruch specifically says Cape Cod potato chips, Trader Joe's corn chip. The Shach, the Taz, the Pischei Teshuva, nobody mentions them. Nobody mentioned, they probably ate them, enjoyed them, they would love them. But they don't mention them, they don't mention them explicitly. So you say to yourself, ah, so then the next day you wake up, by the way, check, the bag is unopened. Thank you very much, thank you very much. It was a battle, it was a war, knocked off an entire cube of rice cakes instead. That was a better way to go, right? Better way to go, cube of rice cakes. But the corn chips are unopened. That battle was won. I've lost a lot of battles, but this is a particular battle that was won, we're going to win the war. So you did something that you're great, you did something incongruous or inconsistent with your stated values or your stated goals or your stated resolution. And then you want to beat yourself up because plenty of times I tell you the bag is wide open and in fact the bag is crumpled at the bottom of the garbage because it was finished from top to bottom. So you wake up the next morning after one of those where you lose the battle and you beat yourself up and you feel miserable and down and negative and you hate yourself. The very language I use, say I hate myself, why did I just do that? I am the most lowly pathetic, I hate myself. So that's the voice of the Yetzer Hara. You could say well here's what I need to do to make sure that doesn't happen again, here's what I can learn from that, or I can let it go because it's okay once in a while, but a voice that says I hate myself, that's an unhealthy voice, the voice of the Yetzer Hara. That's the voice of Amalek. שבזה המחשבה מעוררת אותו לשים לב יותר ולהתעלות. If that voice of self-criticism causes you to grow and improve and be better and a better version of yourself, אזי זה טוב מאוד, that is very good. The voice that says be better, you could be better, here's how to do it better, that's a great voice, that's a coach, that's a coaching voice, that's a trainer. אבל על ידי זה היצר מנסה להפיל האדם לעצבות. But it's such a fine line between the voice of the coach inside your head that says you could do better, you could be better, here's how, and the voice that says you'll never do better, you aren't better, you keep failing, just be down on yourself. It's a very fine line the difference between those voices. ידע שזה לא רצון השם יתברך, you need to know that's not what Hashem wants. Hashem doesn't want you to be racked with guilt and misery. I was recently talking to somebody who is hot and cold in their religious life. They're either all in or all out and they're all out right now and he said to me, you know why? Because I couldn't take it anymore that I just felt guilty all the time. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, all I felt was guilt by what I wasn't doing or what I could have done better. And it's easier for me to just be entirely out. Not observant, not involved, not doing anything. Admires and loves and believes Torah way of life is the right way, but in his own mental health and his own life experience he says I couldn't take it. When I was in, I was just riddled and racked by guilt all the time. That's not what Hashem wants. Hashem didn't design a Torah way of life and a Judaism that He wants us to beat ourselves up and be miserable and hate ourselves and be racked by guilt and shame all day long. That's not why He gave us His Torah hakedosha. That's not why He gave us access to His diary, that's not why He shared His blueprint for creation. You know it's like, it just occurred to me this mashal, I never thought about it this way, but you know you have Google Docs, you make a Google Doc and you share it with others and only people who have the link can read it and if you don't they don't have access to it. And some can comment, some can be editors, and some are read-only. Hakadosh Baruch Hu with His Torah, He gave it, He only shared the link with Klal Yisrael. He said you have access to My blueprint, you have access to My Google Doc called, here are the secrets to the world, secrets to life. He gave it to the Jewish people, He wanted to give it to the whole world but they proved unworthy. And then He said, instead of making it an open link for anyone, it's now a closed link and only the Jewish people have My link. Now Torah Shebichtav, kind of gave to everybody, but Torah Sheba'al Peh is just for Jews. That's why the Bible is in every drawer of every hotel, that's available to everybody, that link is open. But Torah Sheba'al Peh, that link is only for us. Torah Shebichtav, the link is read-only, and Torah Sheba'al Peh... So each link is, you can comment and edit. You can't edit our Torah Shebaal Peh, but it means that the authors of the Torah Shebaal Peh edited, and we can comment on what they edited. So each generation had a different level of access to that link. If you haven't been on Google Docs, you have no clue what I'm talking about right now. But if you live with Google Docs, you love that mashal. It's a great mashal. I love that mashal. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the Almighty gave us this Torah, He gave us the link to the Google Doc. He said, "Here's the secret to life. Here's the blueprint to creation. Here's the way to do it. Don't beat yourself up when you don't get it perfect, because I know you won't get it perfect. And you know how I know you won't get it perfect? Because I created you. Because you are me. And I know your assets and talents and skills, and I know your liabilities and challenges. And I'm the most forgiving guy. I've set up a system where I'm forgiving. Every day three times a day you say hashiveinu Avinu and selach lanu Avinu, and every day Hashem says, I say to you, 'It's okay, we'll start again. Every day.' Don't beat yourself up. Can you imagine what a forgiving God is? Imagine if we could be as flexible and forgiving as He is in our relationships in life. Every day we promise Hashem, 'Today's going to be different, Hashem. This is it. This is the day. This is the day I do everything the way You want. I remember You, I talk to You, I'm grateful to You, I follow Your rules. This is it, this is the day.' And like before we're three seconds into the day, we've already violated Him 20 different ways. We forget to daven, we didn't wash the negel vasser correctly, I forgot to make the bracha, I didn't have kavana when I made the, like 20 different ways that we forgot and violated Hashem within the first 20 minutes of the day. That's not a new challenge, that's just a reality, the likelihood is. And what does Hashem say the next day? Day after day after day, year after year after year of that happening, 40, 50, 60 years old of doing that, and you know what Hashem says the next day? He says, 'It's okay, my child. It's okay. We'll start again. Try again today. It's okay. Try again today.' I'll tell you what parent would not say to their child who every day says, 'I know I told you I was going to call you today, and every day I tell you I'm going to call you, and every day I mean to call you, and every day I want to call you, and I didn't call you again.' And then the child for 20 years doesn't call and every day apologizes and every day promises the next day. What would a parent say? Wouldn't the parent say, 'It's okay, just try again tomorrow. I really wish every day you'll start to call me. I'll be grateful, and I'll take that call. I love you. It's okay. I want to kill you, I'm pretty disappointed in you, it's pretty painful, but my love transcends and supersedes all of that. And my love for you is so much greater than whatever disappointment I have. So you know what? It's okay. It's okay, my child. It's okay, my kinder. Try again tomorrow.' And that's what the Ribbono Shel Olam says to us. So He says any voice in your head that's saying, 'Beat yourself up, knock yourself down, you're unworthy, you're incapable, you're pathetic,' knock that voice down. That's the voice of Amalek. Mock that voice down, it's the voice of the yetzer hara. The only voices in our head should be, 'You made a mistake, learn from it, grow from it, be better as a result of it, but smile. It's going to be great. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay.' That's what we say to our children, that's what Hashem says to us because we are His child, we are His children. That's how He feels and that's what He says. So this is so important. This is so important because we're living among many people, the spike of mental health challenges that are going on in the world, unprecedented levels, not being spoken about nearly enough. It is the, they are the casualties of Corona, whose data and statistics far surpass, not to minimize the tragedies of the loss of human life and the people who are still struggling with long Corona, but the mental health consequences of that pandemic far surpass in numbers the casualties physically. And it's not being spoken about or addressed enough, particularly among children who lived through a historic, horrific event. In some places and cases are still living through it. So this message, that don't feel like a failure, don't knock yourself down, don't be a lost soul, that those voices we have to eradicate and remove and eliminate, that we have to build ourselves up and smile and be our best and believe in ourselves and believe in our best. Stop comparing ourselves to others. I just saw an article in a newspaper that you can't say in front of the Aron Kodesh, whatever, out of New York, that talked about a new challenge online for boys. Girls have had for a long time body image issues and eating disorder issues by comparison because of online. Boys are having, I forgot what the name of this illness was what they labeled it, but boys are seeing images online of other boys who are so strong and muscular and buff and big, and now they're doing all kinds of very unhealthy things to try to live up to that standard. So girls are eating disorders in order to be the size they think the world wants them to be, and boys are taking other kinds of shortcuts to develop the muscles and physique they think the world wants. world wants them to be. And what's at the root of both of those horrific pandemics? Following and living not only your life but living everyone else's life, a fake view of everyone else's life, by the way, a counterfeit, carefully curated view of other people's life, and then destroying your own life as a result, feeling negative as a result because you think you can't live up. Imagine if we just shut all that down. Imagine if we could turn back the clock a little bit and you can go back to living your life. How much happiness? Well, we can, we just don't, we struggle to, but we can. So, in honor of Taanis Esther today, be happy. This fast is not a sad fast, a happy fast. Put that smile, keep on smiling and the world smiles with you. Smile for shidduchim, smile for parnassah, smile for shalom bayis, smile for nachas from your children, smile for bracha v'hatzlacha, smile, smile for success in life. The power of the smile. Smile, on a taanis, on this taanis, on this fast that we could smile. And tonight and tomorrow, we're m'vatel our daas, Purim, we let go. The root of so much sadness is thinking we're in charge, we're in control. And the source of so much success is letting go. And that's why, again, not everybody should drink or could drink, but those who let themselves go this once a year lose their capacity to comprehend, ad d'lo yada. Ad d'lo yada means I forfeit my ability to understand. I don't even pretend like I can follow or understand. The world is an enigma, the world is a mystery, I'm not in control. Everyone's wearing costumes I don't recognize and I can't tell the truth of anything. Baruch Mordechai, Arur Haman, I say it backwards, v'nahafochu, it's upside down, because Hashem, I'm m'vatel my daas to You. I'm simply nullifying and relinquishing everything I know and believe all to You. You're in charge, You're in control, I'm a gornisht, I know nothing. And so you know what happens as a result? You think on the day of the year where you nullify and relinquish your comprehension, your knowledge, your understanding would be the saddest day of the year. I walk around all sad, I don't understand, I don't know, I'm nothing. It's the opposite. The day in which we say I can't see, I can't really anticipate, I can't predict, I can't control, and you know what? Let's sing and dance, let's be happy. The result of saying I can't anticipate, predict, control anything is now I can be happy because what was making me miserable was thinking that I could micromanage the world. And when I let go of that, of that illusion that I could micromanage the world, now I can be happy. That's why it's the happiest day. So wishing everyone a freilichen Purim, it should be a fantastic Purim. If you're listening to this on Shushan Purim, a great Shushan Purim. If you're listening to it next week, have a fantastic next Purim. But the principles of Purim apply all year round, so make that decision to be happy. You can go out now, you shouldn't drink from it yet, still a fast day, but you can buy your cup outside and if you've not yet given biursonline.org/global, until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
