Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov. Welcome back to Living with Emunah. Sorry we are back in the old location that we have remains having grown out of. Baruch Hashem, we have a winter Kollel. We have a wonderful winter Kollel, a bunch of Bachurim, young men have come to Boca Raton to spend their break learning Torah. So they are in our other location. Not that they are better or supersede us, get myself in trouble over here, but they are in that location for the whole week. So we are back in here just for today. Next week, we're back in our usual location. Emunah series is sponsored generously by Dr. Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, Zichrono Livracha, and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Shanzer. Today's Shiur in particular sponsored by Shully Babbitt in honor of Kevin Shully Babbitt's 25th anniversary and their daughter Rebecca's Aliyah to Israel and with tremendous appreciation for our Emunah support group which helps approach life's ups and downs. And by Carol Wald in memory of her brother ראובן רפאל בן בנימין. Carol, thank you very much. Thank you to the Babbitts and to the Morgans for your generosity. Okay, אם ירצה השם בשמחה, we are learning about Simcha. We're in the month of Shevat. Today is Yud Shevat, but we are already getting ready for Adar, for two Adars, and we spoke about last week the idea that a Jew has to Tamid BeSimcha. We have to always be BeSimcha. Just pull chairs over and move over. I'm sorry the inconvenience this week. Appreciate everybody's patience. A Jew, we said Simcha is like a pilot light. The Simcha can never be turned off. It cannot be extinguished. It cannot be eliminated. If you're living a joyless life, then you are not living. If you're living a joyless life, then you are not living. So the question is in the month of Adar Marbin BeSimcha. In the month of Adar, we increase, we promote, we elevate Simcha. In the month of Av, Mema'atin BeSimcha, but you'll notice that we never turn it off. We don't turn off the Simcha entirely and then turn it on entirely. Rather, we diminish it. We have a control knob. We lower it and we raise it because a Jew always has to be BeSimcha. You have to be BeSimcha. You have to be happy. You have to have a smile. No matter what's going on, you have to have a smile. Having a smile is contagious. I've shared with you many times Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a great researcher who has done research. You know that if a person in this room were to yawn, no need to try this experiment for the record. I hope that the 8:45 AM Shiur with coffee is one slot where people are not yet yawning. So if one person in this room were to yawn, it sets off a contagious string of yawns. We all know that. We've been in a room where while one person yawns, you don't see it anymore under a mask for those who wear a mask, but a person yawns and all of a sudden it sets off a string of people yawning. If one person sneezes then all of a sudden people start sneezing. Today they chase you out of a room the first person sneezes before the chain reaction could even begin. So he proved that the same is true with a smile. If a person smiles, then contagious reaction, other people begin to smile. That's why Rav Yisrael Salanter said that a person's face is not your private property. You can't walk around. One of my children was going through certain issues and was very sad and I kept saying, I know you're going through it, I know you feel that way, talk to me about it, work it through, I'm not asking you to deny how you feel, but don't bring this misery, there's just a misery just pouring out, just dripping out and it affects the whole surrounding, the whole environment. He said that's not my problem, this is how I feel. This is how I feel, this is what I'm going through, this is what I look like, why do I have to change it for anyone else? So Rav Yisrael Salanter's answer is because your face is not private property. Your face is not a Reshut HaYachid. Rav Yisrael Salanter famously said your face is a Reshut HaRabbim. Your face is public property. Your face will impact the people around you. If you're smiling, other people are going to smile and if you're a Fabissen, miserable, negative, critical, then everybody around you is just going to be brought down. It just sucks the life out of you. So Rav Yisrael Salanter said that how you feel, you're entitled to feel and validate a person's feelings and work through those feelings and those are really, really important. But how we express it, what we look like, what is the energy that we put out into the world, Tamid BeSimcha. You have to be BeSimcha. No matter what's going on, no matter what's going on and life is not always easy. There are real consequential challenges, meaningful and difficult obstacles people face and there are the significant Narishkeit ones. But no matter what you're going through, no matter what's happening, you gotta be BeSimcha. You have to be BeSimcha. We have to be BeSimcha because it's contagious and it's going to impact the people around us. וזה מביא מרגוע עצום. We are in page Kuf Mem Zayin. We're in Bayam Derechcha of Rav Itamar Morgenstern and he's been walking us through Mah Hi Simcha. So just to catch you up if you haven't been here yet. ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. We have been talking about Simcha and Rav Itamar, we have more source sheets up here if anybody didn't get them and wants to follow along inside. He said we. chiyuv of simcha, we have an obligation, it's not listed in Taryag. If you go through the six hundred and thirteen mitzvos you will not see one of the mitzvos being counted being, being besimcha. It's among midos. Why are midos not part of mitzvos? If you open the Torah you say chapter and verse, tell me which pasuk tells me I have to be patient. Tell me which pasuk tells me I can't get angry. Tell me which pasuk tells me I have to be... doesn't appear in the Torah. Why doesn't it appear in the Torah? Says Rav Chaim Vital because these midos are the foundation, they are the ground floor, they are the basement, they are the prerequisite, they are the precursor to mitzvos. First is to have good character, to have proper character, then you build upon character with positive commandments, negative commandments, but it begins with the character that we have, begins with conditioning who we are. So that's why it doesn't appear, but מצוה גדולה להיות בשמחה תמיד is a mitzva. Is a mitzva. There are references, Bassie Friedman actually spoke about this last night, happiness. Where is the evidence from the Torah, from the Bible, that the declaration of independence, the right to pursue happiness, where does it come from? תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלוהיך בשמחה ובטוב לבב. The tochacha, the harsh rebuke comes, God says why? Because why didn't you serve me with happiness? Do with joy, do with enthusiasm. So you'll say but listen HaKadosh Baruch Hu, you can't hold me accountable for how I felt. I put a checkmark, I heard the shofar, I heard the megillah, I put on the tefillin, I lit the candles, check, check, check, check, check, I did the mitzvos. You're going to also hold me accountable for how I feel? And you know what Hashem's answer is? Yes. You know why? Because a husband who tells a wife, I brought you the flowers, I gave you the card, I took out the garbage, you're going to also make me smile and be nice to you and be happy and be joyful while I do it? What would the answer be? Yes. Yes. It's nice that you're doing those actions but the actions absent the purpose, the meaning, the joy, the attitude, the actions are empty, they're hollow. So Hashem says the actions are lovely, they're important by the way they're for us not for him, but he also wants us to do them with a joy, with a simcha, with a happiness. So what is the source of simcha? I'm just catching up so far. הגדרת מהותה של שמחה היא הרגשה שלימה, said Rav Itamar Meyer. The definition of simcha, the capacity to feel simcha comes from shleimus. When you're whole. When are you besimcha? When do you have a skip in your step? When are you happy? When you feel whole. When you feel whole. When everything's right, when everything's working out, when a great program worked out well and you weren't assassinated on stage, you're happy. You're happy. We have a low threshold now. We have a low bar for a successful program. It's nothing like getting up in the welcoming greetings and trying to scan a room as you're gripping the shtender trying to figure out who's it going to be? Who is it? So you're besimcha when it's over and you exhale and you skip home and you say I'm shalem, I'm whole literally and figuratively. But that's a small example, you're besimcha, you're happy. So when is that? When you're shalem, when you feel whole, when everything's right, when everything's come together, when everything works. Here's the problem says Rav Itamar Meyer, whoever feels that way? How could one feel that way? And if you feel the way, you feel that way for a moment. So you skip home and by the time you walk through the door, you're not, this is a hypothetical, one is greeted by challenges, questions, issues, things we've got to deal with. There goes the shleimus. So you're whole for a millisecond, you're whole for a minute and a half, you're whole because you heard a piece of good news, you experienced a simcha or something happened that made you feel good and right and healthy and strong, and then all of a sudden the next thing comes. There's always the next thing. It's not if, it's when and what, but there's always the next thing. So how do you feel shalem? So that's where Rav Itamar Meyer set us up with, that's what we've been learning, that's what we're up to. That if the definition of simcha is feeling shalem, is feeling whole and complete, and a person can never feel whole or complete in this world because there's always the next shoe that's going to drop. And it could be God forbid something significant or it could be something insignificant. It could be a kid has a stomach virus, it could be a fender bender, it could be you got delayed in traffic and you missed something that was important, it could be consequential or inconsequential but there's always that next thing that there's something missing. Something missing. It could be I couldn't sleep last night so today I'm groggy and I'm exhausted so I'm not shalem, I'm not whole, I'm not strong, I'm not healthy because there's something missing, i.e., several hours of sleep. So how can you be besimcha if you're not shalem and if we're never shalem are we never besimcha? So that's what Rav Itamar Meyer says and this is his yesod, this is the point. The answer is there's only one way to be besimcha. There's only one way to always be happy no matter what's going on around you if you know you'll never be complete and you walk into every situation understanding that life will never be perfect, that's part of the design of the world in which we live, this world in which we operate, then you say so how can I be besimcha? The answer is by attaching ourselves and connecting and holding on to the one and only thing that is whole and complete and that is Hashem. Hashem is infinite, omnipresent, he's omniscient, he's Perfect. He's the source of all power. He is everything. And when I attach myself and connect myself, and when I submit and when I surrender to him, and when I say Hashem, you're in charge, you're in control. I do all my initiative, I make all my effort, I do everything that I can, and then I, in the words I learned from those in recovery, I love these words, I let go and I let God. Let go and let God. That's the world of Emunah. התשובה היא שהאדם מצד עצמו לבדו אין לו שלמות. We on our own, we ourselves can never be shalem. We're not in charge, we're not in control. We can never be whole, we can never anticipate, predict, micromanage, or control everything or everyone in our lives, even though some people try and try hard. But when the moment we make that concession, the moment we make that admission, you know how much better our life gets? The moment you pause and you stop and you say, I'm just not in charge, I'm just not in control. I'm going to do my best, I've done my best, trying to think through everything that needs to get done, and then Hashem, take it away, take it from here. Take it from here, you're in charge, you're in control now. The moment we make that admission, the moment we make that concession, the moment we let go, our life becomes so much better. Our blood pressure goes down and our heart condition improves and our pulse slows down and tranquility and serenity and our relationships, our benachas, we have a menuchas hanefesh, we have a peace of mind. That's it. Grab onto the one whole thing there is and he completes us. He completes us. Every day we wake up modeh ani, what we're saying to Hashem is, what we're saying to Hashem is, you complete me. You complete me. When Hashem says you had me at modeh. You complete me. Hashem, you complete me. That's it. I'm empty, I'm hollow. Some people have a tiny little openness, a tiny little hole because everything is really right in their life. I'll tell you the irony and I see this from my perspective as someone in rabbanus, and it's hard not to comment on but it's not appropriate to comment, but often it's the people who have the least missing who feel the greatest victims and it's the people who have almost nothing, almost everything's missing, who walk around besimcha saying, do you see what I have? I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for the little that I have. Often it's ironic and it's unfortunate that it's that way. We should see what we have. But when there's that little bit missing, Hashem, you complete me. Whatever's missing, whatever I wish I had, whatever I don't have, whatever I want, whatever I'm longing, whatever pain I'm in, whatever hole in my heart. And again this is not the answer, people need therapy and counseling and they need proper professional help, but this addiction, this spike, this enormous generational catastrophe right now, substance addiction, drug addiction, I'm reading a book called dopamine something or other. This world that we're living in, it's because people have that hole in their heart. They can't name it, they don't talk about this, they don't give it these words. Kids on college campus, adults, people who have money and fame and think they have it all and yet there's so much missing, there's such a gaping hole in their heart. And they don't know what to fill it with and they're desperate to fill that hole. So they think they'll fill it with drugs or alcohol or some other form of an addiction, lose myself in gambling, people lose themselves online, in inappropriate acting out. But you fill it the only thing that you can fill it with, which is real and genuine or authentic and lasting is Hashem. That's why, that's why one of the critical steps is submitting to a higher power. This is our truth, but others have caught on. And that's why one of the critical steps is you have to submit to a higher power because Hashem, I want, I'm only whole, you complete me. I can't do this without you. I can't face whatever instinct, I can't face the distraction, the temptation, I can't face the addictive behavior without you. Okay, let's keep going. We're in the left-hand column page kuf mem zayin. זה מביא רוגע עצום ומכניס שמחה אמיתית ושלווה פנימית. This brings an incredible calm. There is a direct correlation, there is a reverse association between emunah and calmness. The more emunah, the more tranquil, the more calm you are. If you've ever been in the presence of a great person, you'll see they're calm. Great people are not frazzled and running and fragmented and divided and they're not, they're calm. You're all there is in their world at that moment that they're talking to you, that's all there is. When I went to see Rav Itche Meyer a month ago, I went to see him after davening and he was sitting in his chair and he was slouched like the end of his chair and he was talking so calmly. And I asked his gabbai afterwards, I had never met him. So I asked him, you know, he was like falling, literally falling off his chair. At some point I was going to like help him back up, scooch him back up on the chair. He was sitting on the edge of his chair falling off the chair. So I know that his health has been compromised, and we've been davening for him. So I thought maybe, you know, he's weak, he's a tzaddik, he wouldn't tell anyone, we wouldn't know, maybe he fasts all day, I don't know. The gabbai just smiled at me. But I checked with someone who introduced me to the world of Rav Itche Meir, Joey Rosenfeld told me no, no, there's an innyan for the tzaddik that when you're b'menuchas hanefesh, when you're ragua, when you're so calm, your posture reflects your perspective, your attitude. That you're just totally relaxed and at peace and you let go. There was a phase in my life, I don't do it anymore that I did yoga, not that I wouldn't do it anymore, it was great, I just probably should start doing it again. My favorite part was the end, where you lie there and they told you to relax muscles you never had, and you're supposed to imagine you're ice melting into water. I usually was snoring about thirty seconds into that. I would always, can we just skip to that part where you lie on the floor and relax every muscle and fall into a deep sleep? So that again apparently that's necessary for the exercise to be valuable because it moves the energy around your body, I don't know, I don't know, I had a good shlaf, I have no idea what it meant. But I think there's an innyan that what they're trying to communicate is you've got to relax. There's a form of exercise where you stress the muscles, and there's a form of an exercise where you relax the body, relax every muscle. So lavdil, that's that's the posture that he was, on the end of the chair, just relaxed. How could you be so relaxed? Do you know what's going on in the world? How can you be so relaxed? Do you know what's on your plate? How could you be so relaxed? Have you looked at your schedule and your to-do list? How could you be so relaxed? Klal Yisrael on your shoulders? How could you be so relaxed? Look at the kvitlech on the table, all the people and their problems. Because the tzaddik, the righteous person, the person who's living with emuna is in a constant and consistent state of relaxation. And the people who are frazzled and anxious and worried and yelling and on edge and you know that like the nervous people? They're nervous, they wake up nervous, wake up nervous, they go to sleep nervous, and they're nervous the whole day. What are you nervous about? I don't know yet, but I'm sure there'll be something worth being nervous about. I don't know yet, I woke up, I'm nervous, why? I don't know, I'll find out. Or the opposite, I wake up and I'm calm. How could you be so calm? Because I'm calm, no matter what happens, I'm going to be calm, going to be calm. So that's what Rav Itche Meir says when you live with emuna, you're calm, emuna makes you calm. כי על ידי אמונה ובטחון שהקדוש ברוך הוא עושה לטובה גמורה שהוא יתברך יכול להשלים ולעשות הכל האדם יכול לשמוח באמת. When you live with this emuna bitachon, when you live not with this leap of faith, but you live with a knowledge. Rav Itche Meir was not sitting there with some leap of faith. He didn't go to some Yom Iyun on Hashem and he's like well, I've studied five pieces of evidence for Hashem's existence and I am ready to take that leap of faith. I am ready to leap. He's sitting there, he's like what are you talking about? The sun rises in the sky, you're sitting in front of me, this is a table, there's Hashem, that's it. In fact, I know about Him more than I believe there's a table in front of me right now. The tzaddik is, Hashem is, He's not as real, He's real to me, He is everything, I'm in His matrix, just a dot in His matrix, He is real and He's running it, He's in control. So that's it. שהקדוש ברוך הוא יכול להשלים ולעשות הכל. Hakadosh Baruch Hu can complete and He can fill and He can finish and He can solve everything. האדם יכול לשמוח באמת. So now like relax. האדם יכול לשמוח באמת. You ever have the experience you're traveling, one person's very anxious, we're not going to be packed, we're not going to get in the car, we're not going to leave, we're not. You say go have a cup of coffee, what time are we leaving? The suitcases will be packed, they will be in the car by the time we need to leave. So now you just let go, I got it, I got it, don't worry about anything, you have nothing to worry about, let go, relax, go enjoy a cup of coffee, we'll be in the car at this time. So the other person if they trust the individual who told them that, if they trust the individual who told them that, or maybe they've told them that ten times and haven't made good on it yet so they have a reason not to trust them, but if they trust the person who told them that, okay, you know what, whatever, fine, you tell me you've got it, you've got it, you've got it. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, I got it, just you go relax, you go relax, I got it, I got it. That's exactly שהקדוש ברוך הוא יכול להשלים ולעשות הכל. Hashem says I've got it, האדם יכול לשמוח באמת. So you just go relax, you just go be happy, you just go be calm, you just go be peaceful and at peace of mind cause I got it. זו הדרך היחידה לגילוי שמחה אמיתית לשמוח במציאות השם יתברך ובקירבה אליו. This is the one and only path to genuine happiness. He spoke last night, Ambassador Friedman, about the Declaration of Independence which entitles us. He spoke all about it, it was a brilliant speech, please God we'll have it online today, it was brilliantly trying to show that the Founding Fathers of this country, the principles of the Declaration all came from the Torah, directly from the Torah, and in fact they write that in the Declaration, that these were given by God, these are rights that It doesn't say you have the right to be happy. What does it say you have the right to? Pursuit. Why do you have to pursue something? Why do you have to chase something? If something's sitting on the table, do I have to run after the cup of coffee? No, why not? Because it's not running away from me. It's sitting right here. I just take it and I drink it and I have it. You have to pursue something that's elusive. You pursue something that's running away from you. You pursue something that's hard to grasp. But for us, that's not true. Happiness is not running away. You're right, happiness is running away if happiness is Town Center Mall, if happiness is your bank account, if happiness is everybody behaving the way you want them to, so happiness is elusive. But if happiness is the mindfulness to realize, you know what, I started to feel angst, I started to feel anxious, I started to, no, deep breath, Hashem, you're in charge, you're in control. You know the best way to remind yourself of that is talk to him. Just talk to him. Okay, Hashem, you got this? I just want to confirm, you got this? I don't need to wear a bulletproof, you got this? I just want to confirm with you, we're good? I can let go and relax and just focus and enjoy. You got this? Right? And then there's nothing wrong with that, Hashem will tolerate your asking him as many times as you want. I have much less patience, but Hashem will tolerate as many times as you want. Hashem, just want to confirm, you got this, right? We're good? I should relax? I'm calm? I should go sit in the car and wait? You got this? Hashem says, yeah, every time I got it. Relax. That is the only path. It's not a path, it's not one of the paths, it's not a suggestion, it's the הדרך היחידה להגיע לשמחה אמיתית. It's the only way to be besimcha, to be besimcha, to be ragua, to be calm, to be serene, to be tranquil, to have a menuchas hanefesh. Yesterday in the Parsha class we learned one of the insights of Miriam HaNeviah, the Nashim Tzidkaniyot in Mitzrayim who took the tambourines, they took the musical instruments with them and out, I'm not going to repeat the whole thing but I spoke about, if I were packing in Mitzrayim after 210 years of slavery we're finally getting out of there, and I say to Miriam, first of all you have too many shoes, but second of all, tambourine? Tambourine? What are you doing? We gotta get out of here. Leave it. What are you doing? Tambourine? Where do you think you're going? We are running for our lives. We're running for our lives, we're fleeing oppression, we're finally being liberated from the slave labor camp and we're running for our lives and you're packing tambourines and flutes? And Miriam says, relax, I got this. And she was right. She says to them, you know there's going to come a time that God's going to open the way for us. You feel like it's blocked, you feel like you're stuck, you feel like there's impediment and obstacle in front of you and Hashem is going to open up a path. And when we get to the other side of that path, you're going to want to sing and dance, but guess what, buddy, you're not going to have any music, but I and the women we're going to have my tambourine. So most of the insight is the Nashim Tzidkaniyot, oh they had such faith, they were able to anticipate, they were roe es hanolad. They didn't panic, but they believed. But the pshat we quoted yesterday from the Sifsei Elyon says that's not the insight. The insight is everybody else was frazzled and packing and did you get this and how about this and did you pack enough food and Miriam's just calm, she's menuchas hanefesh. She's serenely and calmly says, ooh, let's bring instruments. It's going to be amazing. Hashem is going to open up a way for us. And we're going to want to sing and dance about it. I have an idea, let's bring instruments. That sense, that attitude, that presence of mind only can come when you are living in the moment. It can only come when you're calm and when you're serene, can only come when you believe. We're in the footnote, Reish Lamed Tes. U'lesimcha b'Hashem Yisborach אפשר להכנס בהרבה אופנים וצריך כל פעם להכנס לשמחה לפי עניין. You can enter this simcha in many different ways. Aleph, לשמוח על שזכינו למעלה גדולה ביותר שיש. להיות בניו ואהוביו של השם יתברך, להיות חלק אלוקי ממעל. So when we let go and let God, when we submit and surrender, when we understand that Hashem is packing our bags, he's got it, let go, then then we're besimcha, and that simcha can come from several different ways. One, he says, is the simcha that I'm his son. The simcha that we have the merit to have a father who says I got it, and he's trustworthy, and he's reliable, and he comes through every time. So the simcha comes not because of the particular thing that we need or want, the simcha comes just because of the relationship that we have in that moment. Number two, Beis, ובכלל זה שמחה על עצם כך שיש לנו אבא גדול כזה, אחד יחיד ומיוחד שאין כלום חוץ ממנו. Or wow, so part of it can be I'm his son and I have nothing to worry about, so I'm besimcha. Or the second possibility is wow, he's my father. Do you know who my father is? Do you understand who my father is? People love to quote their yichus. They love to reference their yichus. They love to identify based on their yichus. Do you know who my father is? Yeah, your father's pretty good, but do you know my father? created the whole world. And He's in charge of the whole world, and He controls the whole world, and He was, and He is, and He will be. How do you like that? That's my father. So you can't help but feel a sense of simcha when you say that. Do you know who I am? Do you know where I come from? Do you know who my father is? With one phone call to my father, do you know? My father's in charge, He's in control of the entire world. Who doesn't feel besimcha when you say that's my father? Gimmel, ויותר על כך שהוא נתן לנו את האפשרות להידבק ולהיקשר בו ונתן לנו את התורה והמצוות שהם דרכי החיבור עמו יתברך. Or the third sense of simcha is, wow, I have Torah and mitzvos, I live a life on another plane than everybody else. 613 taryag mitzvos gives me the opportunity as we say ברוך אלקינו שבראנו לכבודו. Boruch elokeinu, we bless Hashem, we are blessed by Hashem, sheboronu lichvodo, He's created us to honor Him, וחיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. Vechayei olam, if you're looking for words to meditate on, to lose yourself on, or go listen to Eitan Katz's rendition of the song, just go on YouTube, Boruch Hu Elokeinu, וחיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. Hashem planted in us chayei olam. There are people who live only in this world, only for the here and now. So you live in fear because the here and now, but He gave us chayei olam. He gave us contact and access and a window into immortality, to live forever, to live forever. When you, when you know that you will live forever, it's nata besocheinu. He planted that inside us. There's a seed, there's a potential, there's a pintele yid, there's a spark, there's the absolute knowledge inside us that it's not just about the here and now, that it's not just about what we see, that it's not just about this world, that there is so much more, that there is an immortality and there is an eternity. That וחיי עולם נטע בתוכנו, He put it in us. So the people who nebach, they think that this world is all there is, that this world is all there is. I was listening, I was driving recently, a long drive, and I was listening to a podcaster who has a lot of wisdom and productivity that I enjoy. I'm not going to say his name for the following reason when I tell you this, this thought that I had. And his whole life, really, is about efficiency and productivity and being the best version of him. And the best version of him is generous and kind and magnanimous and trying to improve the world. And he's at a little bit of a further age, and he's not married, although he references his girlfriend, and he doesn't have children, and he talks about he's not sure he ever wants to have children. And and it's by choice. I'm not talking about somebody who's not married or doesn't have children who wants it, but he's talking about by choice. And I so desperately want to ask him, I have no way to get in touch with him, but I want to ask him: All that efficiency and all that productivity and all that transforming the world around you and all the goodness you want to do, you don't want children to pass that on to, to hand that to, to transmit to? Do you believe in a future? I want to ask him, do you believe in a world to come? Because if it's if all there is is the here and now and all there is is what we see in front of us and there is nothing more and there is nowhere that we go, so I'm not suggesting therefore we should live a life of carpe diem, just live life and be happy and you could still be kind and generous and moral, but what's it really all about? So there are people who nebach, they can't see past this world, and there are other people who while they're in this world are already living in the chayei olam. They already understand that this world, everyone knows the story of the Chofetz Chaim who lived in a very, very modest residence, and when he was once visited he was asked: How do you live in such humble, modest residence? If you've been to the home of, if you went to the Steipler, you want to go to Reb Chaim, if you go to Reb Steinman, if you go to the great people, you'll see their homes, that they have people who would give them millions of dollars, extreme gadol home makeover, in a heartbeat. They could live in a palace, in a heartbeat. And they live in what looks like a homeless shelter. It's less than a homeless shelter. It's unbelievable the way they live. So the famous story of the Chofetz Chaim and someone asked him, "Rebbe, why do you live like this?" And he said, "Tell me, when you go to a hotel, do you bring your chandelier and your fine china? Do you set up the room with your Egyptian cotton sheets and do you redecorate?" He says, "No." He says, "Why not?" He says, "Because I'm I'm just passing through there, I'm just there for a night, I'm just there for a few days." So Chofetz Chaim says, "Exactly. Exactly. I'm just passing through here. I'm just here for a few days. I'm going to set up this house? I'm going to invest in things and property?" Now again, there's nothing wrong with having a beautiful home, there's nothing wrong with appreciating it being finely decorated or well organized, there's nothing wrong with enjoying a beautiful home, but the mentality and the attitude. There are people, the Chofetz Chaim was living chayei olam. He was living there even while he was here. He was living there even while he was down here. And so וחיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. HaKadosh Baruch Hu has given chayei olam. We could be operating and living in the here and now. We need sleep, we need to eat, we need to wear clothing, we need to earn a living, we're and living here in this physical world, really we're living in the spiritual world. Really we're invested in that world to come. Really we already understand and we are achieving immortality even while we're here. Chayei olam. Who wouldn't be besimcha when you hear that, when you think that, when you feel that? Who wouldn't be besimcha? Everyone here should be blessed to have children, healthy children and healthy grandchildren. But a person, חיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. If you merit to have children and if you merit to start to have grandchildren that you believe are on the trajectory of continuing Torah and mitzvos and being proud Jews and stand, that's immortality even while you're in this world. You don't say Hashem, I'd like to be here a few more years, but I'm good to go. I've done my job, I've been a link in that chain, I took the baton from the people who came before and I've handed it to the people who come afterwards and our story's going to continue and we are repairing and transforming this world, and you've given me a taste of the world to come even in this world. חיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. That we have that, we're living there even while we're here. Shamayim even while we're here on the aretz. That we're living that. That we're living that. We spoke about that in Siddur snippets last week. כימי השמים על הארץ. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, lema'an yirbu yemeichem. We live a long life on the land you gave us, כימי השמים על הארץ. And one of the interpretations that we gave was the pasuk before, ולמדתם אתם את בניכם. That when we successfully teach our children Torah, if we have children who are living and learning Torah, כימי השמים על הארץ, then we are living as if we are already in Shamayim even here on the aretz. If we successfully transmit and invest and we see the continuity coming, כימי השמים על הארץ. We're already experiencing Shamayim even while we're here on aretz. Who wouldn't be besimcha? What a source of- yeah, that's it. There it is, the continuity right there. The simcha. What a simcha, Baruch Hashem. The greatest sound you could ever hear inside a shul. There were survivors, while other people were shooing the kids out if a kid cried in davening or made a noise, who said that's the greatest sound a shul's ever heard. A million children murdered in the Holocaust. Baruch Hashem, Jewish babies crying. That's the future. All right, you could try to quiet them, but you made the point. We made the point. I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm joking, I'm joking. But it's the most beautiful- it's the most beautiful sound. Not in the middle of the night, but it's the most beautiful- it's the most beautiful sound there is because that's chayei olam. חיי עולם נטע בתוכנו. He gave us that- that glimpse, that taste, he gave us that world to come even here. Just a couple more minutes, bear with me. Turn the page. ובכל פעם שהיצר הרע בא, kof mem ches. ובכל פעם שהיצר הרע בא עם מחשבות עצבות, atzvos. צריך להכנס מיד לאמונה ולשמחה. Every one of us get a knock on the door of feelings of sadness. We have feelings of sadness. And there are all kinds of reasons of feelings of sadness. Sometimes we're sad because our chayei olam is leaving, the grandchildren are going back, or we're leaving them. Sometimes we're sad because chas veshalom a person got a diagnosis, chalila. A person is sad because they go through a loss and grief, a person is sad because they go through pain and anguish, a person is sad because they're struggling to get through a difficult time. There are all kinds of reasons that sadness comes. Machshavos, thoughts of sadness. And when they come and when they knock on our door, we have to try to tell them you're not allowed in. You're not welcome. Le'emuna ulesimcha, to enter a place of faith and of joy. Veyishaneh le'atzmo. השם יתברך איתי כל הזמן. You say Hashem you complete me. Hashem you complete me. Ein od milvado. Ein od milvado. We're going to expand. We were supposed to make bumper stickers. I got to check on our coffee mugs, they were ordered, I don't know what's happening. But the bumper stickers, the ein od milvado, the famous Nefesh Hachaim we quoted, the Brisker Rav. Ein od milvado. The Nefesh Hachaim has a tradition, Rav Chaim Volozhiner, that a Jew in any circumstance, you're stuck in any situation, you just turn and you repeat the mantra: Ein od milvado. Ein od milvado. Ein od milvado. I told the- I've told you the story of one of my children who didn't love roller coasters, so we would on line wait and sing ein od milvado, ein od milvado. So we have a continuation now of it. Ein od milvado you complete me. Ein od milvado you complete me. We can expand our mantra. Ein- there's nothing but you and you complete me. Whatever's missing, whatever anxious I am, whatever sad I am, I just remind myself: you complete me. Now again, I want to be very careful. I don't know if we have any clinical therapists here, who would say that's a very unhealthy thing, sometimes you have to lean into the pain, sometimes you have to experience the pain, sometimes you have to validate and honor the pain, and then you can heal from the pain. That's true. I don't think Rav Itche Meir's saying you should be in denial of pain. I don't think he's telling anybody- the halacha recognizes pain. Halacha recognizes pain. I told you this a few months ago when we read a piece by Rav Reuven Leuchter, where he quoted a story of a shiva call he paid with Rav Wolbe. You remember that? He paid a shiva call to a great Rosh Yeshiva, and the Rosh Yeshiva was besimcha. It's from Hashem, he took my wife, my loved one, and everything's for a reason, he's besimcha. And Rav Wolbe turned to Rav Leuchter afterwards and said, he's going to crash and burn. He's going to crash and burn. He misunderstands emuna. emuna doesn't mean that when you lose a loved one you sit there, you're in aveilus, you tear your garment, you're sitting low to the floor, you're not wearing shoes, you haven't showered, and you're supposed to have a smile and be besimcha? No, you're supposed to cry your eyes out. You're supposed to be grieving, you're supposed to be in pain for those moments. That's not emuna. Remember he spoke about the winds and the anchor, what emuna is in the ocean. If you don't remember, I can just give the same shiur every single week. Just prepare and say this—I pretty much do say the same thing every single week, so it's a miracle to me that you come back. I sit here, I look out, I say I just say the same thing every week. Every week. It's really amazing. I don't think—it's a reflection both of our collective forgetfulness, but I think it's also a function of how much we need to hear it. How much I need to say it. I need to hear it, I need to say it. It's just a reminder. It's a reminder, we need it. We need the reinforcement and we need the reminder. So Rav Itche Meir is not suggesting that when you experience grief or pain that you don't honor it or validate it or experience it. But what do you do then? Do you wallow in it? Do you get stuck in it? Are you paralyzed and debilitated by it? Even the halacha says that there are seven days called shiva, and then there's a shloshim, you begin to come out of it, you get up out of the chair, and you take off the garment that you tore, and you begin to re-enter life. And then from shloshim, the loss of a parent, you continue with the yud beis chodesh, you continue for—there are—the halacha guides us and the halacha is our companion to take us out of that grief, because we have to get back to be besimcha, because that's the default that a person needs to be, is happy and joyous and smiling. So his point is not that never feel pain. You know, you don't stub your toe or get a splinter and go, 'Yay! So happy!' Ouch, that hurts. A person can be in pain. But a person has to then remember the method, the way that we come out of it is השם יתברך אתי כל הזמן. Hashem, you're with me all the time. דאם יש לי את השם יתברך יש לי הכל. If I have you, I have everything. ולא חסר לי דבר, I'm not missing anything, ki hakol, vehakol taluy bo. Because He is everything, the source of everything, and He is in charge of everything, in control of everything. So if I don't have Him, I don't have anything. And if I have Him, I have everything. So if I live a life that's absent God, if I live a life that's absent immortality and the future and the world to come, if I live a life that doesn't submit and surrender to Him, then I might have a lot of things and I might have a lot of experiences, but I really have nothing. And if I live a life where I have Him, I talk to Him, and I welcome Him, and I lean on Him, and I even protest to Him, and I'm grateful to Him, if I live a life where I feel Him, I have everything. Let's just finish this last sentence. Umimeila muvan, and now we can understand, שהשמחה אינה רק תוספת מעלה אלא היא מורה כמה יש לאדם אמונה. So simcha's not just like an extra nice thing. 'Oh yeah, they're a wonderful person, oh by the way about them, one of their great qualities is that they're happy.' simcha's not like do all the taryag mitzvos, by the way, if you find the strength, also try to be happy. simcha's not an extra thing, simcha's not a nice thing, simcha's not a cherry on top. simcha is everything. It is the foundation, it is the core, it is the canvas that we paint our painting on. It is the barometer and the metric of our emuna. If you want to know how much emuna you have, check how much besimcha you are. The person who's sad and verbissener and miserable and complaining and negative, I don't care how much they talk about believing in God, how much they subscribe to emuna WhatsApp groups or emuna emails or how much they read emuna books. But if you walk around negative and angry and worried and miserable and sad, you don't really have a lot of faith. simcha is the metric, it is the thermometer, it's the barometer to determine how much emuna we have. ומוכיחה כמה אדם מאמין ביחוד השם יתברך, vechai oso ve'ito. And that we live Him and with Him. vechai oso, we're living Him, living emuna, and we're living with Him. שאז הוא שמח בהשם יתברך. Because then you're going to be thrilled, you're going to be happy, you're going to have a skip in your step. וגם מרוצה מכל מה שקורה אתו. And you're going to love whatever Hashem does because it's for a reason, it's by design, it comes from above, it's what He wants for us. So this is the secret, this is the ingredient. We're going to continue to unpack this. Rav Itche Meir has so many messages, but this is our homework. This is our homework: to be besimcha, to smile, it's contagious. Your face is a reshus harabbim. Your face is a reshus harabbim. Be besimcha. I want you to do this experiment. Even if you're around people who are regularly negative, smile and be over the top besimcha around them. And see, see if it doesn't—if they don't kill you—see if it doesn't lift their spirits. Alright, shkoach. Tonight 9:00 PM we go behind the bimah with Bob Diener, the founder of hotels.com, getaroom.com, and a great Jewish philanthropist and leader. 9:00 tonight. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy. Stay holy, Ein Od Milvado, Hashem, you complete me.
