Transcript
Good morning, בוקר טוב Boker tov everyone. Thank you so much for coming back. It's great to see you in person. Our parsha perspectives for today, we have the privilege of learning פרשת תולדות Parshas Toldos. The Artscroll Stone Chumash page 124. As always, we want to begin with gratitude, an attitude of gratitude and thank our generous sponsors for this season, for this year, Becky and Avi Katz, our dear friends, in memory of Becky's father, David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מנוש Le'ilui nishmas David ben Menachem Manush. This morning's shiur is also sponsored in honor of the יארצייט yahrzeit of צבי אריה בן מאיר Zvi Aryeh ben Meir, Harry Prince, by his children, recent and Fran Prince of Teaneck, New Jersey, and his many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. What a very beautiful tribute, what a wonderful, wonderful way to honor someone. Thank you very much. If you'd like to sponsor a future שיעור shiur, we made it simple and easy. Go on BRSonline.org/sponsor, BRSonline.org/sponsor, and you can sponsor in honor and memory of someone and promote a lot of תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah. We would be deeply and forever appreciative. Okay, page 124 in the Artscroll Stone Chumash, פרשת תולדות Parshas Toldos. It's great to see many more people coming back. With God’s help, we're going to pack the place like we used to. The energy of תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah in person, live, the parsha coming alive, our coming alive. It's really great to be here. I appreciate it very much. אלה תולדות יצחק בן אברהם, אברהם הוליד את יצחק Eileh toldos Yitzchak ben Avraham, Avraham holid es Yitzchak. This is the story, these are the offspring, these are the progeny of יצחק Yitzchak, the son of אברהם Avraham. אברהם Avraham begat, it's the one time in your entire life that you use the word begat. אברהם Avraham begat, which is another way of saying אברהם Avraham is the father of יצחק Yitzchak. The redundancy we will not explore today, we've discussed in the past. Why does the Torah have to present this is the, יצחק Yitzchak the son of אברהם Avraham? אברהם Avraham is the father of יצחק Yitzchak. ויהי יצחק בן ארבעים שנה Vayehi Yitzchak ben arbaim shana. See how fast we're moving today? We're going right to the second pasuk. ויהי יצחק בן ארבעים שנה בקחתו את רבקה בת בתואל הארמי מפדן ארם אחות לבן הארמי לו לאשה Vayehi Yitzchak ben arbaim shana b'kachto es Rivka bas Besuel ha'Arami mi'Padan Aram, achos Lavan ha'Arami, lo l'isha. And יצחק Yitzchak was 40 years old when he took רבקה Rivka, the daughter of בתואל Besuel, who was from ארם Aram, the ארמי Arami, from פדן ארם Padan Aram, who was the sister of לבן Lavan to for himself, לו לאשה lo l'isha, as a wife, as a wife. רבקה Rivka is identified as רבקה בת בתואל Rivka bas Besuel. And Rashi jumps in and Rashi tells us, וכי עדיין לא נכתב שהיא בת בתואל ואחות לבן ומפדן ארם Vechi adayin lo nechtav shehi bas Besuel v'achos Lavan u'miPadan Aram? Every part of this biographical sketch, every part of רבקה Rivka's resume, we already know. Did we not meet her in last week's parsha? Did אליעזר Eliezer not painstakingly go and entertain the entire שידוך shidduch process to explore her resume, to call her references? He didn't do any of that foolishness. He went to the well, he saw her do חסד chesed, he said she's the one. It's time that we go back to the way it was and simplify the process. I think we'll see a lot better results. Okay, in any case. So אליעזר Eliezer painstakingly found רבקה Rivka for יצחק Yitzchak. And we know from last week's parsha, רבקה Rivka is the daughter of בתואל Besuel. She is the sister of לבן Lavan. She's from פדן ארם Padan Aram. Says Rashi, we have her resume, picture, no picture, we have a resume. We know everything about her. Why does the Torah need to repeat what we already know? אלא Ella, says Rashi, להגיד שבחה, שהיתה בת רשע ואחות רשע, ומקומה אנשי רשע, ולא למדה ממעשיהם lahageid shivcha, she'hayisa bas rasha v'achos rasha, u'mkomah anshei resha, v'lo lamda mima'aseihem. Says Rashi, you know why? The redundancy, the repetition is all in order to praise רבקה Rivka. In order to speak the beauty, the glory of רבקה Rivka. Why? Because here you have רבקה Rivka. She grew up in the home of a low life. She grew up in the home of a dishonest, corrupt, terrible person. She had a brother, maybe at least her brother would elevate, maybe her brother at least was an inspiration. No. Her brother walked in her father's footsteps. He was a low life, he was corrupt. She lived in a place, maybe at least there was NCSY, maybe at least there was a מדרשה midrasha, maybe at least there was ability for her to tap into others. No. She came from a place that was filled with רשעים reshaim. So Rashi says, ולא למדה ממעשיהם v'lo lamda mima'aseihem, she didn't learn from any of them. רבקה Rivka was the product not of her father, and not of her brother, and not of her community. She nevertheless emerged a righteous person. She discovered the right path. And the Torah wants to emphasize that. And so here, the Torah tells us, she was extraordinary. She was very, very special. So this wonderful sefer I've been drawing from the last few months, לשיחת אליהו L'sichas Eliyahu, which is a collection of בעלי מוסר Baalei Mussar on the parsha, and he quotes the following from ר' זאב זײדל עפשטײן Reb Zeidel Epstein, the משגיח Mashgiach of Yeshivas Torah Ohr. צריך ביאור, וכי אין לרבקה שבח אחר מבד שבח זה Tzorich biur, vechi ein l'Rivka shevach acher me'vad shevach zeh? Could you imagine this is the greatest thing that you could say about her? You're speaking at רבקה Rivka's בת מצוה bas mitzvah. You're speaking at רבקה Rivka's שבת כלה Shabbos kallah, you're at her שבע ברכות sheva brachos. And you want to praise the כלה kallah. So what do you, this would be kind of awkward, I guess, to give this praise of the כלה kallah, assuming her father and brother are there and it's in her community. But whatever, you want to praise the כלה kallah. So what are you going to say about her? I want you to know her father's terrible, her brother's terrible. She comes from a terrible community. But look at what, look at what a צדקת tzadekes she is. She's so righteous nonetheless. That's the best thing you can say? Now, why in particular is that a compelling question? Because last week, the Torah itself testified about רבקה Rivka's greatness. And the Torah didn't feel it necessary to say, do you know what made רבקה Rivka great? She wasn't like her father, she wasn't like her brother, she wasn't like her community. The Torah said, you know what made her great? She had beautiful eyes. We discussed on Shabbos. Beautiful eyes. The Gemara in the beginning of תענית Taanis says, כל כלה שעיניה יפות Kol kallah she'eineha yafos, any כלה kallah who has beautiful eyes, כל גופה אינו צריך בדיקה kol gufa eino tzarich bedika. You don't have to explore, you don't have to examine, don't call references, don't check resume. Nothing else has to check out. If she has beautiful eyes, you're good to go. That's it? Beautiful eyes? So the כלי יקר Kli Yakar explains, and others, very beautifully. Beautiful eyes doesn't mean that she has beautiful eyes ophthalmologically. It means she has a beautiful outlook, an עין טוב ayin tov. She sees positively, she sees the good, she seeks the good. So the Torah tells us, טובת מראה היא tovas mareh hi. She was beautiful, not beautiful outside only, she was beautiful, טובת מראה tovas mareh says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, inside. She didn't only have beautiful eyes, she had a beautiful outlook, a beautiful perspective. She saw the good that was to be grateful for, she didn't complain, she wasn't negative, she saw the positive, she was generous and selfless and magnanimous. She was a wonderful person. The Torah had no shortage of ways to praise רבקה Rivka. So last week, we had pick your choice of how to praise רבקה Rivka. And this week, the best thing we could say about her is she wasn't a lowlife like her father, her brother, or her community? That's what the Torah, the second parsha that we're talking about רבקה Rivka, chooses to invoke? So says Rav Zeidel Epstein, הן הן הדברים, דוקא שבח זה הוא גדול מכל השבחים Hein hein ha'dvarim, davka shevach zeh hu gadol mikol ha'shvachim. This is in fact the greatest of all the praises you can give. Why? Because הקדוש ברוך הוא יוצר את הבריה בטבע של קנאה Hakadosh Baruch Hu yotzer es ha'briah b'teva shel kinah. There is a natural instinct and impulse that all of us have. God designed us where we are jealous, we're envious, we naturally compete or compare, we naturally imitate the people around us. וראיתי את כל החיים כי היא קנאת איש מרעהו V're'isi es kol ha'chaim ki hi kinas ish mei'rei'eihu. שלמה המלך Shlomo Melech says in קהלת Koheles, I saw all of life and all of life is people trying to fit in. All of life is trying to compete. Do we not see the same thing in the world around us? Keeping up with the Joneses, the Schwartzes, they say they're Goldbergs, but I don't like that. So I say the Schwartzes. Keeping up with, I have to have the car, and I have to have the fashionable clothing, I have to make a שמחה simcha on par. I have to look, I have to speak, I have to act, I have to be. We're all competing, we're all imitating, we're all comparing to one another. That's life. טבע זה גורם לבני אדם לרצות להדמות לזולתם Teva zeh gorem livnei adam lirtzos l'hidamos l'zulasam, להתלבש כמותם l'his'labesh k'mosam. It causes people to want to appear, to dress, to look, to listen, to speak, to be copies of one another, poor imitations of one another. להשיג הנאות החיים כמותם l'hasig hanos hachaim k'mosam. הסיבה שהקדוש ברוך הוא ברא באדם טבע זה ha'siba she'Hakadosh Baruch Hu bara b'adam teva zeh. So why did God create us with that instinct? Why did God give us that drive to compete and compare ourselves to others? Rare is the person, I don't know about you, when I meet such a person, I'm always very drawn to them. I'm always very taken to them. The people who have the self-confidence to say, I'm my own person. I want people to be happy with me, I want to be מעורב עם הבריות me'urav im ha'brios, but I don't really care. I don't need to keep up, I don't need to compare, I don't need to compete, I don't need to be just like everybody else. As long as I look in the mirror, I'm happy with myself, I think Hashem is happy with me. Good enough, that's good enough for me. I'm always very impressed with such people. It's rare. It's very unusual. Most of us, we care. Most of us are concerned. Most of us are aware, I'm looking around at what people think of us. So why would Hashem create us with that instinct or impulse? Why would he design us in that way, he wonders? So he says, you know why? כדי שתהיה לו שאיפה ללמוד מזולתו, איך להיגדול בתורה ויראת שמים kedai she'tihiyeh lo she'ifa lilmod mi'zulaso, eich l'higadol b'Torah v'yiras Shamayim. Because the notion of comparison and competitiveness is not only true in the negative, it doesn't just bring us down to do the wrong things, it also raises us and elevates us to do the right thing. Maybe some of you weren't going to come to the parsha class this morning. But one of your friends texted or spoke to you last night or this morning and said, \"Nu, are you going? Did you hear it's back in person? And they even give out water bottles. And they even have granola bars and coffee. Are you coming?\" So you weren't going to come, you were going to stay home, you were going to watch online or not watch at all. And what drove you to come? Well, they already asked me and they're going and how will it look? I want to seem like I also care about the parsha. How will my children and grandchildren get married if I don't look like I care about the parsha? So, it could be for the wrong reason, but that notion of comparing and competing also, we have a לשון lashon of the Gemara, קנאת סופרים תרבה חכמה kinas sofrim tarbeh chachma. We know in scholarship, competitiveness in scholarship, it breeds and it yields breakthrough. Person wants to publish, person wants to compete, a חברותא chavrusa wants to outshine, so they חזר chazer, they learn, they review over and over, they have חידושים chiddushim. אמנם בטבע זה עולם ללמוד גם סכנה גדולה Omnam b'teva zeh ulam lilmod gam sakanah gedolah. However, this competitiveness can also undermine, שכן אדם עלול להיות מושפע לרע מהשפעות שליליות הרבות המצויות בעולם she'kein adam alul l'hiyos mushpa l'ra mei'hashpa'os shli'lios ha'rabos ha'metzuyos ba'olam. It could be brought down. Someone says, did you watch, did you binge watch that new series? Did you hear the latest gossip or slander that I have about somebody? It could also bring us down. אפילו אדם בעל מעלה גדול בתורה ויראת שמים afillu adam baal ma'alah gadol b'Torah v'yiras Shamayim, even a person who's very righteous and virtuous, but in the effort to fit in, to compete, to compare, can be brought down. And he goes on many examples, but I want to get to more. So what's his point? Why does the Torah here tell us this is the greatness of רבקה אמנו Rivka imeinu, of רבקה אמנו Rivka imeinu? מתי אם כן אפשר לומר על אדם שהוא בעל מעלות, שקניניו ומעלותיו בטוחים Masai im kein efshar lomar al adam she'hu baal ma'alos, she'kinyanav u'maalosav betuchim? So how do you know about a person when their righteousness is true, is genuine, it's authentic, it's lasting? How do you know? Maybe they're just doing it to compete. Maybe they're just doing it to fit in. Maybe they learn the דף יומי Daf Yomi when they're in town because they want to be known as a person who goes to the דף יומי Daf Yomi when you're looking around. But when they're elsewhere, when they're on the business trip, or where they live elsewhere, ah, they don't bother with the דף יומי Daf Yomi because nobody's looking. How do you know? How do you know if the length of the שמונה עשרה Shemoneh Esrei is because the person's really mindful of what they're saying, or maybe they want to have the longest שמונה עשרה Shemoneh Esrei in the shul? They're already competing for next year's מפטיר יונה Maftir Yonah. How do you know? How do you know? So, says Rav Epstein, you know how you know? Because when they're around the wrong influence, are they still righteous and virtuous? Are they brought down? The greatest testament, the greatest testimony we could say about someone is that they're righteous and virtuous even when they're among those who aren't. That they didn't blend in and they didn't compromise and they didn't dilute their righteousness. That they didn't try to just fit in and give up on who they were. So yeah, there's so many שבחים shvachim, there's so much praise that we could offer about רבקה Rivka, so many wonderful things we can say, and we did say in last week's parsha. And yet, when we identify her here in the beginning of this next story, she's רבקה בת בתואל Rivka bas Besuel, and she's the sister of לבן Lavan, and she comes from פדן ארם Padan Aram, she comes from a terrible community, and she grew up with terrible influences with siblings, and her father was no good and pressured her to be a bad person. And with that all, despite the natural inclination we all have to fit in, despite being conditioned by the nurture around us, רבקה Rivka rose above it. She transcended it. שבח תורת רבקה במעלה זו שלא הושפע ממשפחתה ומסביבתה ונשארה בצידקותה ובמידותיה הטובות shivcha Torah es Rivka b'ma'ala zu shelo hushpa mi'mishpachta u'mi'svivasa v'nish'ara b'tzidkusa u'v'midoseha hatovos. She was able to be who she was even above it. He doesn't write this, but I would humbly suggest that in that way, she even surpassed, she even surpassed, in that way, her שוער shver, her father-in-law. For אברהם Avraham to become who he was meant to be, לך לך lech l'cha, go discover who you're meant to be. What did he need to do? מארצך, ממולדתך, מבית אביך mei'artzecha, mi'moladetcha, mi'beis avicha. This negative influence, you'll never discover the real you. You'll never be the best version of yourself if you are surrounded by people who bring you down. If you're surrounded by a community and a family who corrupt you, who compromise you, who pressure you to not be your best. So לך lech, you need to go out, לך l'cha, if you're going to be the best you, if you're going to discover who you really are, you have to rise above, you have to transcend מארצך, ממולדתך, מבית אביך mei'artzecha, mi'moladetcha, mi'beis avicha. רבקה Rivka lives in her family, with her brother, with her father, in her community, להגיד שבחה lahageid shivcha, and now we know how righteous she really is. She's able to fulfill לך לך lech l'cha, she discovers who she is, she lives her best self, not by escaping, not by running away, but even while being immersed in and among her family, wow, that's רבקה Rivka. Now that's a שבח shevach. That surpasses even the praise in last week's parsha. So next time you have to speak at a שבע ברכות sheva brachos, you think of the praise you want to say, you say even though the father's a low life and the brother's a low life and the community are low lifes. I'm just giving you the best praise. חלילה chailila, don't ever say that. Don't try it at home. I'm just joking. But you see this was the best praise, this was the most compelling praise that we could offer about רבקה Rivka, about רבקה אמנו Rivka imeinu. Says the הייליגע קאצקער heilige Kotsker. I love to use the new ספרים sfarim I got, mostly to just encourage you to get me ספרים sfarim because I'll use them in the parsha class. I'm just joking. But when you get new ספרים sfarim, it's השגחה hashgacha, that there's something in that ספר sefer that you're meant to share in the parsha. So I've also been sharing this אמת ואמונה Emes v'Emunah, this collection of the teachings of the קאצקער רבי Kotsker Rebbe, רבי מנחם מענדל Rebbe Menachem Mendel of קאצק Kotsk, the הייליגע קאצקער heilige Kotsker. So the קאצקער Kotsker says the following. We know that יצחק Yitzchak and רבקה Rivka are barren. Let's keep going. פרק כה, פסוק כא Perek kaf hei, pasuk kaf alef. Next pasuk. Already up to the third pasuk and we're only 15 minutes in. Unbelievable. ויעתר יצחק לה' לנוכח אשתו Vaye'etar Yitzchak la'Shem l'nochach ishto. They're barren, they struggle, they suffer with infertility, among if not the most painful thing a couple or a person could bear. We can't imagine, and we have to all be so sensitive. I preach and I teach and I try to practice all the time because if you've ever sat next to somebody who's in a puddle of tears with the unrealized dream of having children, a continuity, a future, then it has to change you. We have to be so much more careful about how we speak and what we take for granted and what we assume. I feel very strongly that we do a disservice to our children, maybe their senior year in high school or yeshiva and seminary, or certainly by their chassan and kallah classes, we should mention that a third of pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester. One third of pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester. That it's not so simple. How do children grow up? They grow up in their shul and they read in the newsletter and they hear the announcement on Friday night, \"Mazal tov, another Shalom Zachar, another baby, we're naming another girl.\" So they grow up and they assume that first of all with a shidduchim, maybe they should be told nothing's so simple. But they just assume the day I choose I'm ready to get married, a month later I'll be engaged. And then when we choose we're ready to have a baby, nine months later we'll have a baby. Life is not so simple and we should never take it for granted, and we should warn so that we strengthen even before it happens. So our great אבינו avinu and אמהות imahos were barren, the most righteous are the ones that Hashem puts in that position because he longs for and loves their דאווענען davening, and there is no more sincere תפילה tefillah in the world than the תפילה tefillah of the person who themselves is desperate. When Rav Drucker was here for Shabbos a couple of weeks ago, the Rav Drucker that we quote all the time, was here for Shabbos, they spoke at the דרשה drasha at שלוש סעודות shalosh seudos, and he said a ווארט vort we had said in the parsha. I copy him, it's not all the time. He said a, just joking. It's the opposite. We used this shtarkall the time. So he said, why was לוט Lot answered and אברהם Avraham wasn't? Because with לוט Lot, his life was on the line. The more desperate and personal it is to you, the more authentic that תפילה tefillah. There is no more authentic תפילה tefillah than a person who wants to have children. So ויעתר יצחק לה' לנוכח אשתו Vaye'etar Yitzchak la'Shem l'nochach ishto. So יצחק Yitzchak davens to Hashem, לנוכח l'nochach, we spoke about this last year, two years ago, listen to all the old parsha shiurim, there's good stuff in there too. It's not mine, it's all the Torah I'm sharing from others. What does it mean? יצחק Yitzchak davened לנוכח l'nochach, on behalf of his wife. What he was good? Such a tough guy, such a man, it doesn't bother me, I'm not crying, I'm not struggling with infertility. It's for her. She's sad, I want to make her happy. What does it mean לנוכח l'nochach, לנוכח אשתו l'nochach ishto? כי עקרה היא Ki akara hi, she was barren, she was infertile. ויעתר לו ה', ותהר רבקה אשתו Vaye'atar lo Hashem, va'tahar Rivka ishto. And it worked. Says Rashi, ויעתר לו ולא לה Vaye'atar lo v'lo lah. Hashem answered him and not her. Why did Hashem answer him and not her? What does it mean Hashem answered יצחק Yitzchak not רבקה Rivka? שאינו דומה תפילת צדיק בן צדיק לתפילת צדיק בן רשע She'eino domeh tefillas tzaddik ben tzaddik l'tefillas tzaddik ben rasha. So Rashi tells us, לפיכך לו ולא לה l'fichach lo v'lo lah. Rashi tells us Hashem was answering יצחק Yitzchak not רבקה Rivka because even though רבקה Rivka davened so sincerely, such earnestness, nevertheless, you can't compare the prayer of the righteous, the child of the righteous, compared to the child, the prayer of the righteous, the child of a wicked. So we spoke about last week or two years ago, last year or two years ago, I would have thought it would be the opposite. Didn't we just say a moment ago that the greatest praise of רבקה Rivka is that she grew up in that environment, and yet, she emerged a רבקה Rivka. If that's the greatest praise we could say about her, shouldn't her merit be greater than יצחק Yitzchak? Big deal, יצחק Yitzchak, you grew up in the home of אברהם Avraham. So you turned out a יצחק Yitzchak? Big deal. You had the greatest rebbe, you had the greatest role model, you had the greatest parents in the world. So you turned out a יצחק Yitzchak? Not impressing me. רבקה Rivka, you grew up with בתואל Besuel, you grew up with לבן Lavan, and you became a רבקה Rivka, pshh. It's unbelievable. So shouldn't it have been the opposite? Shouldn't Hashem have been more predisposed to listen to the prayer of רבקה Rivka over יצחק Yitzchak? So we shared last year one insight, should I repeat it, or you all remember it from last year? That's what I thought. So, we shared last year the insight, somewhat counter-intuitively, that you know what, when you grow up among רשעים reshaim and you're so turned off and you're so disturbed and you're so bothered by that corruption, by that wickedness, by that evil, you say, I want no part of that. I'm going to be a good person. But you grew up in the home of an אברהם Avraham and you say to yourself, how in the world can I measure up? I can't compare, I can't compete, I'll never be an אברהם Avraham. So you know what? I'm not going to try. Because if I try and I fail, that'll be worse than if I never try. Many גדולי ישראל Gedolei Yisrael have children who struggle, who go off the דרך derech in fact, many רבנים rabbonim, many ראשי ישיבה Roshei Yeshiva, because those children say if my parent has a certain achievement or accomplishment or even fame, deservedly so, how will I compete? How can I compare? How will I ever measure up? So I'm not going to bother, I'm not going to bother. יצחק Yitzchak never used that cop-out. He never used that escape, that excuse. He never failed to try because he was afraid of failure. So that's even greater. To be a יצחק Yitzchak in the home of an אברהם Avraham where you might have said, I'm not going to bother, how can I compete? That was even better. Good. ולכאורה But l'chorah, now we're up to the קאצקער Kotsker. That was last year. ולכאורה יש לעיין, דמכל מקום שניהם נענו V'l'chorah yesh l'ayein, d'mikol makom shneihem ne'enu. I don't understand, says the קאצקער Kotsker. It's a gevaldige Kotsker. We've all learned this Rashi a thousand times, but we didn't bust up to ask the question the קאצקער Kotsker asks. קאצקער Kotsker says, I don't understand. יצחק Yitzchak and רבקה Rivka they both daven. They're barren, they want a child, they're desperate. They both daven. The pasuk tells us who's answered? יצחק Yitzchak, because יצחק Yitzchak's more righteous. Says the קאצקער Kotsker, I don't know, they're both answered. They both wanted a child, they got a child. What do you mean just יצחק Yitzchak was answered? It wasn't like יצחק Yitzchak's davening, I'm davening, davening, davening, that the Yankees win the World Series. And she's davening, davening, davening that she gets a new diamond bracelet. And Hashem answered her, she got a new diamond bracelet, and the Yankees were knocked out of the playoffs. Hashem answered her and not him or him and not her. They weren't davening for two conflicting things. They weren't davening for opposite things. Their davening, their interests were aligned. They're both davening for a child, and they have a child. So they're both answered. So how can the Torah tell us, tell us that he was answered, not her? And we could learn from that that Hashem is more predisposed to answer the תפילה tefillah of the righteous, the child of the righteous than the righteous, the child of the wicked. דמכל מקום שניהם נענו d'mikol makom shneihem ne'enu, they were both answered. Good question? Yes, it's a good, hello, it's a good question. Did any of you ever think of it? None of you ever think, none of you thought of it. ויש לומר V'yesh lomar. I'm going with the קאצקער Kotsker over you any day, no offense. ויש לומר, ששניהם ידעו שיהיה אחד צדיק ואחד רשע V'yesh lomar... sh'shneihem yad'u she'yiyeh echad tzaddik v'echad rasha. Here's the deal, this is going to change your understanding of פרשת תולדות Parshas Toldos. So listen carefully. Both of them knew that she was going to be pregnant with twins. And both of them knew one of the twins would be righteous and the other wicked. יצחק ביקש על הצדיק שיהיה בשלימות, ואף כי על ידי זה יהיה השני רשע גמור Yitzchak bikesh al hatzaddik she'yiyeh b'shleimus, v'af ki al yedei zeh yiheh hasheini rasha gamur. יצחק Yitzchak said, look, no mediocrity. I don't want mediocrity. I wasn't raised on mediocrity and I don't want mediocrity. So I'd rather have a צדיק גמור tzaddik gamur. I want one who's going to be a complete צדיק tzaddik, even if it means the other will be a רשע גמור rasha gamur. They'll both be excellent at what they do. One will be excellent in being righteous, and the other will be the most phenomenal thief, they'll be the most excellent רשע rasha in the world. But excellence, it's who we are, it's what we stand for. No mediocrity, no compromise. מה שאין כן רבקה, התפללה שהרשע לא יהיה רשע גמור, אף על ידי זה לא יהיה הצדיק בשלימות Ma she'ein kein Rivka, hispallela she'ha'rasha lo yiheh rasha gamur, af al yedei zeh lo yiheh ha'tzaddik b'shleimus. רבקה Rivka said, you know what? I'll take mediocrity in צדקות tzidkus if it means there'll be a mediocre רשע rasha. I'll take them both being mediocre over having a completely, excellent, wicked רשע rasha. וזה שאינו דומה תפילת צדיק על בן צדיק לתפילת צדיק בן רשע V'zeh she'eino domeh tefillas tzaddik al ben tzaddik l'tefillas tzaddik ben rasha. And that's what the Torah was telling us, יצחק Yitzchak was answered, not רבקה Rivka. Why? Because there was a יעקב Yaakov who was a צדיק גמור tzaddik gamur, there was a יעקב Yaakov who was a צדיק גמור tzaddik gamur, and there was an עשו Esav who was a רשע גמור rasha gamur. So you see the Torah answered יצחק Yitzchak, didn't answer רבקה Rivka. It changes your whole understanding of פרשת תולדות Parshas Toldos. It changes the whole beginning of the parsha. The קאצקער Kotsker was worth you waking up and driving down from wherever you came from, aside from the granola bar and the water bottle and the coffee. It was worth it for this קאצקער Kotsker, changes everything. That's how the Torah knew their interests were aligned, partially, but at some point their interests split. And when they split, Hashem answered יצחק Yitzchak over רבקה Rivka. Now who was right? It's an interesting question. If you were given that choice, I know what you're going to say. My children, they're just צדיקים גמורים tzaddikim gemurim. They're perfect, they're amazing, they're unbelievable, they're perfect. But if you were given that choice, you had twins, they would both be excellent, although one wouldn't be excellent in the way you want, or they'll both be mediocre, so at least, even though they won't be mediocre and excellent in the way you want, but at least they'll also not be excellent in the way you don't want. Which would, would you side with רבקה Rivka or עשו Esav? It's an interesting question. It's an interesting question. Mediocrity. Mediocrity. Okay, moving right along. ויתרוצצו הבנים בקרבה Vayisrotzetzu ha'banim b'kirba. פסוק כב Pasuk kaf beis. So רבקה Rivka is answered. ברוך אתה אדוני אלהינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro. אמן Amen. רבקה Rivka's answered. She conceives, not one. Many people struggle with infertility, due to treatments today, ultimately they have multiples. ויתרוצצו הבנים בקרבה Vayisrotzetzu ha'banim b'kirba. She has multiples. ותאמר אם כן למה זה אנכי Vatomer im kein, lamah zeh anochi? She says, why me? Woe is me. Why me? What was she saying woe is me and why me? ויתרוצצו הבנים בקרבה Vayisrotzetzu ha'banim b'kirba. למה זה אנכי lamah zeh anochi, ותלך לדרוש את ה' vateilech lidrosh es Hashem. She said, why me? So she went to go speak to Hashem. There's a lot of questions to ask on this. First of all, where did she go to speak to Hashem? Rashi tells us, where did she go? ישיבת שם ועבר Yeshivas Shem v'Ever. She went to the nearby, what do you mean? You need to know what to do. You go find the nearby ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva, דעת תורה da'as Torah. Here's the question. She lived with a ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva. She was married to a ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva. She's the rebbetzin of the גדול הדור gadol hador. She went to go visit someone else in the מועצת גדולי התורה Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah. She went to a different ראש ישיבה Rosh Yeshiva, she went to a different rabbi. Why is she going to the ישיבת שם ועבר Yeshivas Shem v'Ever? She's married to יצחק Yitzchak. Say, יצחק Yitzchak, honey, something's going on in here. I'm uncomfortable. ותלך לדרוש את ה' Vateilech lidrosh es Hashem. You want to know what Hashem has to say? Go to your husband. Why didn't she go to יצחק Yitzchak? is an interesting question. And ויאמר ה' לה Vayomer Hashem lah, so Hashem counseled her. שני גוים בבטנך shnei goyim b'vitneich. Oh, רבקה Rivka, don't be upset. You feel this conflict. Rashi tells us, she walked by the בית מדרש beis medrash, kicking to get out. She walked by the בית עבודה זרה beis avodah zarah, the house of idolatry, kicking to get out. So she was very disturbed, very upset, understandably so. So Hashem answered her. No, no, no, don't be upset. You're pregnant with twins, two nations, and they're going to go very different directions. And don't worry, the older one's going to serve the younger one, don't worry. And what happens next? How does רבקה Rivka react? What does the Torah say? Nothing. It doesn't tell us how she reacts. In fact, it leads us to believe that she's satisfied. That explanation appeased her. She's comforted. She's so distraught, I go by the בית מדרש beis medrash, I go by the בית עבודה זרה beis avodah zarah. Who is this kid? Oh, it's two nations. You're gonna have a good רשע rasha, you're gonna have a good צדיק tzaddik. Oh, is that so? Oh, now I'm good to go. I don't understand, I don't understand. So the אוהב ישראל Ohev Yisrael, the אפטר רב Apter Rav, the אוהב ישראל Ohev Yisrael of אברהם יהושע העשיל Avraham Yehoshua Heshel, the אפטר רב Apter Rav, ספר אוהב ישראל Sayfer Ohev Yisrael is how can you find the מצוה mitzva of אהבת ישראל Ahavas Yisrael in every parsha. Every single parsha has אהבת ישראל Ahavas Yisrael. The theme, the essence, the core of a Jew is to love other Jews. Love other Jews. Love all Jews. Love Jews. This past Sunday night I was invited to a live podcast that went on for two hours. It was a fantastic conversation. So it's hosted by a, not a community in Boca, it's hosted by people in Lakewood by another community. So the host told me before and that several people had called to complain I was being hosted, I was on, they had a long list, the top 10 reasons I'm a רשע rasha, fine. They were very interesting. I'll share them with you at one point. We could put them to a vote, see if you agree in the top 10. But one of them is that I recently posted a picture that I had spent time with a local Reform rabbi with my arm around him. I said we're two brothers. I didn't endorse that השקפה hashkafa, that denomination, that belief, that lifestyle. I said we're two Jewish brothers. אהבת ישראל Ahavas Yisrael. If אהבת ישראל Ahavas Yisrael makes me a רשע rasha, I want to be a רשע גמור rasha gamur. אהבת ישראל Ahavas Yisrael, to love a fellow Jew, to love all Jews. So the אוהב ישראל Ohev Yisrael, the אפטר רב Apter Rav, of אברהם יהושע העשיל Avraham Yehoshua Heshel, he says, ויתרוצצו הבנים בקרבה, למה זה אנכי Vayisrotzetzu ha'banim b'kirba, lamah zeh anochi? So first of all, why is she saying למה זה אנכי lamah zeh anochi? A woman struggles with infertility for a long time. She's finally pregnant, and she throws up a lot. You'll excuse me, but she throws up a lot. It happens. Pregnancy comes with pain. ברוך השם Baruch Hashem, if you've been near people who have been pregnant, you're זוכה zoche to hear a lot about the discomfort and the pain that they're in. There's nausea, there's kicking, there's backaches, there's all kinds of other problems that arise. Blood flow, there's all kinds of problems, blood clots, there's all kinds of problems. You think this woman struggled with infertility. She cried her heart out, she davened her heart out. She's pregnant. Now she's throwing up, she's, \"למה זה אנכי? Lamah zeh anochi? Why me God?\" Why you? God's, why you? Isn't this what you davened for? What is she crying and kvetching about למה זה אנכי lamah zeh anochi? So the אוהב ישראל Ohev Yisrael, the אפטר רב Apter Rav says, kvetching, crying? You're talking about רבקה אמנו Rivka imeinu. You're talking about the אמהות imahos. They don't kvetch, they don't cry for no reason. They're not ingrates that she's finally pregnant. So what is she crying about? Why is she crying? I want to read to you the whole thing. I Rashi says, גדול צער העיבור, למה זה אנכי מתפללת על הריון Gadol tzaar ha'ibur, lamah zeh anochi mispalleles al herayon. She says, why did I bother davening and becoming pregnant only to be in this much pain? פלא גדול, צדקת קרועה כרבקה לא שרה שיהיה לה בנים לגודל צער עיבור Peleh gadol, tzadekes k'rucha k'Rivka lo sora she'yilav banim l'godel tzaar ibur? She she wasn't willing to withstand the discomfort and the pain of pregnancy in order to be have children. We're talking about a צדקת tzadekes here. What's going on? ובפרקים שידעה ודאי מצער עיבור u've'prakim she'yad'a vadai mitzaar ibur. She already heard about, she she hung out with the women. She went to the women's shiur. She did חסד chesed. She was on the women's חברה קדישא chevra kadisha. She was a צדקת tzadekes. Eisav was going to sell the בכורה bechora to יעקב Yaakov. If she would expel him, then that would have never happened, and יעקב Yaakov wouldn't have received the ברכות brachos. And also, עשו Eisav is מכבד אביו כצדיק mechabed aviv k'tzaddik. עשו Eisav was duplicitous but at least he put forth like he was living like a righteous. ישמעאל Yishmael never did that. He has several beautiful reasons. I had many, many more ideas I wanted to share, but the redigging of the wells. I wanted to get to at the end of the פרשה parsha. I'll just give you a little teaser for next year, פרשת תולדות Parshas Toldos. We have three פסוקים psukim when the ברכות brachos in the episode of stealing the ברכות brachos, three פסוקים psukim that describe עשו Eisav as בנו הגדול b'no hagadol and יעקב Yaakov as בנו הקטן b'no hakatan. We're talking about grown men, and we're still talking about the older and the younger, the big brother and the little brother. And we don't do it anywhere else in all of חומש Chumash and all of תנ\"ך Tanach. Only in these three פסוקים psukim. פרק כ\"ז פסוק א', ט\"ו and מ\"ב Perek Kaf Zayin, Pasuk Aleph, Tes Vov, and Mem Beis. In this פרק כ\"ז Perek Kaf Zayin, three times in פרק כ\"ז Perek Kaf Zayin, עשו Eisav is the גדול gadol, the older brother, and יעקב Yaakov is the קטן katan, the younger brother. Why specifically in that story are we invoking גדול gadol and קטן katan? There's a רמב\"ן Ramban, a נצי\"ב Netziv, and an amazing insight of Rav Schwab, but you have to come back next year in order to hear them, Rav Schwab, or you can look them up yourself. A beautiful, beautiful insight. Join us tomorrow morning, 10 minutes of meaning at living with אמונה emunah. Tomorrow night we're going behind the בימה bima with the chief rabbi of Israel, Rav David Lau. Have a fantastic day, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
