Transcript
Good morning boker tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna. Want to thank our generous series sponsors for the year, Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, zichrono l'vracha, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Schanz. Super grateful to the Morgans for their generosity and for their sponsorship. There are seats over here if it's easier to see, you're happy, it's good, safe, sit wherever you like, definitely nothing to miss if you can't see me. This shiur is sponsored for the refuah shleimah also of אריה לייב הרשל בן בת עמי, Miriam bat Tzedi, and Gittel bat Reizel. Thank you so much and by Doctors Ron and Lori Gabor in commemoration of Steven Gabor's yahrzeit, Ron's beloved father. Thank you to the Gabors for their generosity. Thank you all. Living with Emuna. We get together each and every week in order to remind ourselves what we already know. In fact, I'm surprised any of you actually show up or come to this class. All you have to do is listen to the same class over and over again because we essentially say the same thing each and every week, which is we remind ourselves that we did not come into existence out of nowhere, we don't exist on our own, we are dependent and reliant on Hashem and we submit and we surrender to Him. He is in charge, He is in control, it is not the result of our own activity. I mentioned last Shabbos... ברוך אתה ה' אלוהינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. I tried to have kavana for that bracha even though it was not my first cup of coffee for the day. But how did everyone do on their homework? First cup of coffee, doing okay, doing better? Kavana for the opening bracha of the day will set the whole day on a path. If we remember that first cup of coffee, what went into it: the miracle of God creating coffee, the coffee bean, the farmer, the sunlight, the air, the ones who harvest it, the ones who package it, who grind it, and the miracle of our ability to enjoy and imbibe and be awakened by it, comforted by it. The whole atmosphere and the whole environment and the whole, again I know each week I romanticize coffee, but the shehakol is going on that cup, everything that went into it. The opening bracha, that's our pledge, that's our commitment to one another, what we're trying to work on for right now is kavana, having intent and mindfulness for the opening bracha of the day. Rav Wolbe said, מאה ברכות בכל יום, we're supposed to say a hundred brachos every day. If we can have kavana for ten, we're in good shape. I say if we can have kavana for one, we're more likely to have kavana for ten, more likely to have kavana for the hundred and we are in, we are in better shape. So the kavana, the intent that we begin our day by reminding ourselves that there's a God, He's in charge, He's in control. I mentioned last Shabbos, some of you heard the drasha, many of you did not, you don't live locally to the shul, so it bears repeating that when Avraham welcomes these three guests who he thinks are men, Arabian merchants, and they're really angels, but he doesn't know that, he says, welcome, Shalom Aleichem, shkoach, come. And we know Avraham is super hospitable, that even though he's recovering, recuperating, even though he's convalescing from the surgery he performed on himself, nevertheless he's in more pain at the thought of not being hospitable than he was through the effort it takes to welcome guests. It's extraordinary. We are meant to be the progeny of the offspring of Avraham Avinu. What it means to be the offspring of Avraham Avinu is to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone and to realize to be hospitable, to welcome, to be able to help others come. By the way, this coffee and wonderful delicious water, what else is back there? Wonderful water, water is delicious, the original drink, and granola bars. Granola, I miscalculated that one, I thought if we put granola bars out, they will come flocking back in person. I underestimated. So, you need a lot more than just granola bars. Anyway, so Avraham Avinu welcomes these guests, now baruch Hashem it's a huge crowd, I'm so happy each and every one of you is here and here not for the granola bars but here lishma, warms my heart. So the Avraham Avinu welcomes these guests and he does something very unusual. Many people here are very hospitable, some of you even hosted us in certain occasions, and you're warm and you're welcoming and you say, come on in, we have whole guest suite, make yourself comfortable and you have a private area, private bathroom and a little coffee machine, whatever you need. None of you have ever welcomed guests and said, here's a bucket of water, wash your feet. Here's a bucket of water, would you like to wash your feet? What kind of offering is Avraham Avinu? So the reason is Rashi tells us, the Chizkuni gives his answer. Chizkuni says that we know it was a heatwave. Hashem intentionally made a heatwave, He designed the heatwave, why? Because He wanted Avraham to not have any guests. He needed to recover. Avraham just had surgery at an advanced age, he needed to recover, stay in bed and recover. So Ribono Shel Olam took the sun out from its envelope, He made it an incredibly hot, humid day in order the guests, everyone would stay home and Avraham Avinu would have time to recuperate. But Avraham was in such pain for that that He sent the angels anyway. But because it was such a hot day says the Chizkuni, these these angels in the guise of men, they were filled with sweat, stickiness, it was humid and hot. all the sand was clinging to their feet, and Avraham Avinu like any good man understood, if you drag that sand into my tent, my wife is going to kill me. So for Shalom Bayis, Pikuach Nefesh reasons to save my life, here's a hose, here's a bucket of water, יוקח נא מעט מים ורחצו רגליכם, here's a shtickle water, wash your feet, do me a favor, you're going to save my Shalom Bayis, you'll save my marriage. That's the understanding of the Chizkuni. Rashi does not say that. Rashi says the more famous reason we all know, that these men were idolaters, and they worshipped avak ragleihem, they worshipped the dust of their feet. So Avraham Avinu says, ah-ah, I'm not bringing that into my house. By the way, this story, which I did not speak about on Shabbos and it's worth speaking about, but not now. I'll just give you a teaser for it. There's so much to unpack in this entire story about Avraham Avinu. Avraham Avinu welcomes these guests. He doesn't just say, I only have heimish Yidden. He doesn't say, I only have Jews. He's willing to have non-Jews as guests. These aren't stam non-Jews. These are ovdei avodah zarah, these are idolaters. Avraham doesn't say skip my tent, get lost, go somewhere else. I can't be exposed to you, I can't be around you. I have no interest in helping you or hosting you. Get lost. These are ovdei avodah zarah and Avraham Avinu says, you look tired, you look thirsty, you seem exhausted, let me help you. What he does not do is welcome them inside the tent. He finds that way, that balance, to be able to be hospitable and helpful to every human being because every human being is created in the image of Hashem. I got a fascinating email yesterday from somebody, not yesterday, few days ago, from somebody who is connected to the recovery world and in the recovery world that they're finding comfort and solace and strength, they are inspired by a whole group of non-Jews who are submitting to this higher power and they're part of a camaraderie and a community that's helping them overcome their challenges. And they said, especially given their background and the kind of yeshiva seminary they went to as a young person, they can't reconcile that there are these non-Jews who are helping them overcome their challenges and strengthening them, but I thought that like goyim are goyim and non-Jews are non-Jews and Jews have a holier and a higher soul, so how could it be that there are these non-Jews who are more helpful to me than the frum friends that I have? The frum friends that I have are useless to help me in my challenges and my recovery and these non-Jews are the ones who are helping me. Rabbi, help me make sense of it. Not anyone I know, not anyone local from Boca. So it's a fascinating question. It's also a question that comes from the result of an education that Jews, Yidden are the best and goyim are goyim and if we use such derogatory language or imply that every non-Jew might as well be Paroh and the Mitzrayim, every non-Jew is Achashverosh, every non-Jew is Haman, every non-Jew is... No. You know, the Mishnah says in Pirkei Avos חביב אדם שנברא בצלם. Beloved is a person that they're created in the image of God. The Tiferes Yisrael, one of the central commentaries on the Mishnah in Pirkei Avos says, what? Notice the Mishnah does not say חביב ישראל שנברא בצלם. The Mishnah does not say beloved to God is the Jewish soul who is created in His image. It says חביב אדם שנברא בצלם. Every human being is created in the image of God. Now we do have a debate within our own tradition. The Kuzari and the Ba'al HaTanya and others, is the Jewish soul an intrinsically higher soul, is the Jewish soul an intrinsically holier soul or no by virtue of our being commanded Torah and Mitzvos that gives us greater responsibility so we're not inherently or intrinsically holier or superior, better, different, we just have the obligation, we bear the responsibility of Torah and Mitzvos and that positions us for a holier life. That is an ancient debate. As I said, Ba'al HaTanya, Kuzari, many of our Ba'alei Machshavah weighed in on it. But the Tiferes Yisrael says very clearly, it's a fascinating Tiferes Yisrael. Tiferes Yisrael, the Yachin U-Boaz Mishnayos that's in every one of your homes, sold in every sefarim store, in every Beis Medrash in the world has the commentary of the Tiferes Yisrael. Tiferes Yisrael is not a modern day apologetic defensive commentary and he writes, note that it doesn't say חביב ישראל שנברא בצלם. It doesn't say beloved is a Jew, it says Chaviv Adam, beloved is every person who is created in the image of God. See the beauty in every person. And then he goes on, the Tiferes Yisrael, and he lists non-Jews, I think he might talk about who invented penicillin? Jonas Salk? Or maybe antibiotic? Who invented polio? Who? What was that book I read as a little kid with the soldiers and the needle that's getting shot in the arm? Come on, Yocheved, help me out here. Louis Pasteur, Louis Pasteur. I think he might even reference him by name the Tiferes Yisrael, but the Tiferes Yisrael in this comment goes on to list several non-Jews who had an enormous impact in the world for the positive. חביב אדם שנברא בצלם. Anyway, all this aside. So Avraham Avinu sees, he doesn't say, hold on, take off your baseball cap, let me see what type of yarmulke you wear before I can offer you water. or something to drink and eat, let me see... where do you, one sec, where do you send your kids to school? Where are they in school? What camp do they go to? Which kashrus do you hold by? The eruv, you carry, you don't carry before I can let you come before I can. Not only does he not ask to see their yarmulke or do a tsitsis check on them, but they're non-Jews. Not only are they non-Jews, they're ovdei avoda zara, but it's very important and careful to know that Avraham does not welcome them inside the tent. He takes care of them outside the tent. And there's something very instructive and informing that we have to love all of the creation of Hashem. We have to love all of Hashem's creatures. However, however, we have to love them in a way which is not going to compromise, love them in a way which is not going to corrupt or contaminate the environment, the values, the ideals that we have. You see this elsewhere in the parsha. This has nothing to do with emuna, but I feel like telling you, so I'm going to tell you anyway. So, Avraham Avinu dies. Our parsha. Who buries him together? Yitzchak together with Yishmael. Whoa, what happened? I thought last week Yishmael's thrown out of the house. Last week, Sarah says to Avraham, "This kid is no good. I don't want our little Yitzchak, you know how long I waited for this young man? Do you know everything I've put into him? There's no way I'm taking a risk or taking a chance he's going to hang out with Yishmael. Get him out! I don't care, Avraham, that he's your son too. I don't care that he's your first son. I want him out!" And the Torah tells us a pasuk that I'm convinced in seminary they have every girl memorize or the kallah classes they have the girls memorize, כל אשר תאמר אליך שרה תשמע בקולה. Girls who can't say one other pasuk from Tanakh, they sit, they have to memorize that pasuk. Every Jewish wife knows that pasuk. Everyone knows that pasuk. The kallah class graduation, you can't get your kallah class certificate, you're not allowed to go to the mikvah before the wedding unless you can recite that pasuk bal peh. You have to know by heart. כל אשר תאמר אליך שרה תשמע בקולה. Whatever Sarah says, listen to her. Avraham expels Yishmael from that. So what happened? Avraham chucked Yishmael out of the house, he was expelled. Next thing you know, it's Avraham Avinu's funeral. There must have been hundreds of thousands, millions of people. He's the gadol hador not only of the Jewish people, Avraham is av hamon goyim. He's the father of all nations, of monotheism, he spread that message. Can only imagine how packed that funeral is. Yitzchak is standing up there, he's about to deliver his hesped, his eulogy, and the Torah describes at the last minute who comes in. I once heard it described, you can almost picture the scene. Everybody's there, and everybody's ready to mourn Avraham, and it's a whole haimish crowd who've been transformed by Avraham and all of a sudden you hear the roar, the purr of the motorcycle. And in the back of the room the motorcycle pulls up. Off the motorcycle gets this guy covered in tattoos and piercings and he walks to the front of the room. He's got a leather vest over his white t-shirt, Harley Davidson is written on the back. He's got a beard with rubber bands around it and he walks to the front of the room, he puts his arm around his brother Yitzchak. It's Yishmael. And he says, "Nu?" Mistameh he said in Yiddish. "Let's give a hesped for Tate, I'm here, together we'll mourn, we'll mourn our father." Yitzchak doesn't say, "Get off the, what are you doing? Get out!" He puts his arm back around Yishmael and the pasuk describes yachdav together they eulogize their father Avraham. We never notice this part of the pasuk. We all get stuck at Yishmael got kicked out of the house. Everyone has to listen to Sarah. We perseverate on that pasuk. We forget the story keeps going and then all of a sudden Yishmael returns. How does he return? So there's a Pirkei D'Rabbi Eliezer, there's a Midrash. Again, I want to get back to Rav Wolbe, so I don't want to spend the time, but it describes that Avraham Avinu says to Sarah, "Listen, here's the deal. I listened to you. I threw Yishmael out. I didn't let him in. I don't want him to be around and to corrupt our little Yitzchak. But he's my son. He's my flesh and blood. I'm going to visit him." And the Midrash describes that three times he goes to visit Yishmael wherever he is and he made a deal with Sarah. The deal with Sarah was he could visit, he couldn't get off the camel. And in all three stories he comes, he arrives at the tent of Yishmael. In all three stories Yishmael has a different wife and none of them are adequate according to Avraham and Avraham leaves an encrypted message for Yishmael each time. "Give Yishmael a message, the pad on the foyer needs to be..." he leaves a little embedded message, basically, "this one's no good, try again" each time. But the Midrash is clear that he made a deal with Sarah. He's allowed to visit Yishmael, he can't get off the camel. It's a very powerful image. The idea that whether it's in the world of kiruv outreach that we do, whether it's our engagement and our interaction with the non-Jewish world from whom there's so much to learn, so much to contribute and which they're also nivra betzelem, they're tzelem Elokim, but the Avraham doesn't invite these non-Jewish ovdei avoda zara into his tent and he doesn't get off the camel when he goes there. So how do we strike that balance? It's very important, it's a really, really important message for bnei Torah, bnos Torah who are going to graduate the beis medrash and go into life, to learn that Pirkei D'Rabbi Eliezer, to learn this opening of Parshas Vayeira, last week's parsha, of how do we engage and encounter, contribute and take the best but also protect ourselves and have boundaries. How do you manage that balance between the two is a really, really important conversation. Anyway, the shiur's almost over and I have yet to introduce the shiur. I'm trying to make a point to introduce before we can get started. So let me finish the introduction. So *Avraham Avinu* welcomes these angels and he says, he doesn't just say, you know, here's the coffee maker, here's some Diet Peach Snapple, he doesn't just set them up, here's a nice bed, you have your own bathroom, your own shower, turn the knob this way is the hot water. He says, here's a bucket of water *yirachatzu ragleichem*. So *Rashi* says because they were *ovdei avoda zara*, they worshipped dust. And the *heilige Shelah HaKadosh*, *Shnei Luchos HaBris*, רב ישעיה הלוי הורוויץ asks: they worshipped the dust of their feet? What kind of *narishkeit*? What kind of, it's insane. Who worships dust? You worship money, you worship power, you worship fame, who worships dust? What does it mean that he's worshipping dust? So there's a beautiful beautiful insight, the *Shinnover*, *Divrei Yechezkel*. The *Shinnover Rav* says the following. He says, you know, when a person's always active, always moving, always doing, always on the go, and we mistakenly conclude that my success, my achievement, the results that I enjoy in my life are because of my activity, because of my initiative, because I'm always on the go, then what you're doing is you're worshipping the dust of your feet. The dust of the feet, the image of dust of the feet, is that you're kicking up dust, you're on the move, you're kicking up dust, you're always on the move. And therefore to worship dust is not to worship the object and material dust, it's to worship activity. It's to be addicted to busyness, to be in the business of busyness. People always, we spoke about, I'm not going to repeat the entire *drasha*. Today you ask someone how they're doing, it's a commodity to say, "I'm busy. I'm so busy. You know, I don't have time for anything? Did I mention I don't ever sleep? I'm so busy, I'm super busy, I'm crazy busy, I'm psycho busy." It used to be impressive to say, "You know, I'm really living a balanced life, I have some leisure time, I spend time learning, my family, working." We'd look at such a person today as a *nebech*, what's the matter with you? Don't you have any drive or ambition? If you don't answer "I'm crazy busy" and "I get no sleep" and "I've ruined my whole health" and "I don't ever see my family," oh, that's a success. We're living in an upside down backwards world. That's worshipping the dust of our feet. *Avraham* says wash that off, get that off before you come into my house. And that's what the *Mishnah* in *Avos* says, that make your home a *beis vaad lachachamim* and cling to the dust of their feet. If you want to be busy, be busy in the busyness of *Torah*. What I didn't mention in the *drasha* because I didn't think about it until afterwards was a third example. The *Mishnah* in *Berachos* says you're not allowed to go on *Har HaBayis* with dust on your feet. We don't go with dust on our feet. Don't go into a *shul* with dust on your feet. What does that mean? Just have like a neat little rug or mat, wipe your feet before you come in? Perhaps the image of don't go with dust on your feet means don't come in here flaunting all your activity, your busyness. You're not impressing me with how busy you are, how much initiative you take. In the place of the *Beis HaMikdash*, in the *shul*, that's a place where *Hashem's* in charge, not you. That's where the results are because He chooses to shine success on you, not a result of your activity. Anyway, all of this was introduction, that my point was that we get together every Wednesday to remind ourselves what we already know, which is that while we take initiative and while we make our effort and while we do what we have to do, we have to wash our feet. We have to wash our feet. We have to wash that dust off our feet and to realize that we put in a reasonable amount of initiative, we make a reasonable amount of effort, and afterwards we say *Ribono Shel Olam* You're in charge. I submit and I surrender to You. If You want me to be a millionaire in working eight or ten hours a day You could, and if You don't want me to be a millionaire if I work sixteen or eighteen hours a day I won't be. So if I work excessively, now I can't work an hour a day, sit back on my couch and say, "Make it rain, God." And I *emuna*, *bitachon*, me! Everyone else who works so much, they don't have any faith in You, but I have such faith in You, in fact I don't work at all. I have such faith in You I don't work at all. Someone's going to knock on the door and drop off a brown paper bag with cash. That's how much faith I have in You, *Hashem*. I don't work, I just buy a lottery ticket every day. That's not faith, that's stupidity, it's foolishness. We have to take initiative. That's what *Hashem* says to them when they're standing between the sea and the Egyptians: נו מה תצעק אלי? What are you *davening*? Start walking, take initiative. You can't sit back, do nothing and rely on a miracle. You have to make an effort, you have to work. So what's the reasonable amount of work? What's the reasonable amount to work? Six hours, eight hours, ten hours? That's a question for each person to analyze, evaluate, think about, talk to the people around them, ask the people who are care about them and knowledgeable. Everyone has to figure out, what's reasonable initiative? *Chas v'shalom* a person has an illness, they need to go to a doctor. It's reasonable initiative to try to go to the best doctor. How much is too much initiative, excessive initiative? Fly around for a third opinion, a fourth opinion, a fifth opinion, to get into the best of the best, to spend all of your life savings? It's *Ribono Shel Olam* hears your *tefillos* and wants you to get better. If you take a reasonable initiative He'll make you better. Unreasonable initiative maybe is excessive, maybe is a lack of faith in *Hashem*. Baruch Hashem they're much better, but a young person who was in Sloan Kettering with cancer, and I flew a few times to visit them in the hospital, and I couldn't help but notice that half the floor were frum people and it just didn't make sense to me. So I asked somebody who worked in Sloan Kettering, do Orthodox Jews disproportionately get cancer? Do their children, rachmana litzlan? It just didn't make sense. So you know what the answer was? No, but they disproportionately don't stop until they can get into the best hospital. So everyone else goes to whatever local hospital wherever they live, but Orthodox Jews wherever they live find a way into Sloan Kettering. So Baruch Hashem we don't disproportionately have yene machla, we don't suffer with cancer, Baruch Hashem. But people go above and—and I'm not knocking that, there's nothing wrong with that. Chalila I, we, would want the best for our loved ones, for ourselves. The question is what's reasonable, how far do you go? What do you sacrifice and compromise, what do you lose? And that is a question we have to ask ourselves in every area of life. That is exactly the balance that we have to strike and that is what we should be thinking about and struggling with every day. I can't do too little initiative, 'cause that's counterfeit emunah. It's fake emunah. To say I'm not going to go to work, Hashem's going to do a miracle. No, you're a lazy good-for-nothing bum and you're copping out, and it's counterfeit. I'm not going to go to the doctor, if Hashem wants me to be better, I'm just going to Google it and read WebMD and get better, and Hashem will make me better. No. Go to a doctor, go to the best doctor in your area, research a little bit and do what you have to do. On the one hand, don't cop out and don't live a counterfeit emunah where you're not taking any initiative. On the other hand, and this is I think where we make the mistake more often, is we do excessive emunah. People work too hard, they don't have time to learn, they don't have time to davven, they don't have time for their family because they say I work 18, 20 hours a day. Aside from, by the way, if you worked half that amount of time, you could still easily put food on your table and you'd still be providing for your family and paying your bills, so is that the right conclusion to make either way? But anyway, it's excessive effort, it's excessive work. Ribbono Shel Olam wants you to accomplish and achieve, He can—He'll yield those results in less of that time. So that—there's no one answer, and there's no siman in Shulchan Aruch to look it up. There's no place, there's no sefer that's going to tell you look in this chapter and this paragraph, it's going to tell you exactly how many hours you should work, how many doctors you should go to for opinions. It's going to tell you exactly what you need to do in whatever area of life. We all have to struggle and we all have to figure that out. We all have to work to figure out what is that balance, what's reasonable versus what is excessive initiative that we are—that we are taking. All right, that was all just explaining why we get together for the Living with Emunah shiur, now back to the emunah. So we are studying, you hopefully have in front of you, if we need to make more—we'll make more printouts for next time. It's beautiful in the sefer that came out, Ha'aros, a collection of thoughts of Rav Shlomo Wolbe, zecher tzaddik livracha, the great mashgiach of Yerushalayim. We've learned so much of Rav Wolbe and I told you his grandson moved to our community, told me amazing stories about growing up in his home. At some point I have to interview him because I want you to hear, like I had the privilege to hear, someone whose Torah that we're learning regularly, we've gone through several sefarim of Rav Wolbe on emunah, Tzaddik Be'emunaso Yichyeh, Alei Shur, and Ha'aros now, that to know who he was. He was a baal teshuva. He didn't become religious until he was in his twenties. Rav Shlomo Wolbe became the mashgiach of—of Klal Yisrael, of Yerushalayim. And here he has these beautiful thoughts. We're on page peh-hei, page 85, os ches. We're up to os ches. Yesh lehavin. We should understand: וכי הקדוש ברוך הוא יש צורך שאדם יודו לו? Oh, if you remember that was the teaser I left you with last week. Does God really need us to express gratitude to Him? Is God such an egomaniac, so self-centered that He needs us to thank Him all the time? Yocheved sent me a picture, there's a new store in the mall called Selfie. Selfie? Selfie World. It has all kinds of scenes and you could go in with your phone and it's Selfie World. If there's not any more statement indicting our generation, I don't know what it is than a store or people are going to pay to be a customer in Selfie World. I can't—it's mamash—first of all, it's got to be a Yid who opened that store. Only like a Jewish mind would take advantage of, like, there's no overhead, no cost, you just made a couple scenes and people are going to come in and take a picture of themselves. Selfie World? It's mamash unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's scary. It's actually scary the world that we're living in. So is Hakadosh Baruch Hu living in Selfie World? That He needs us to be modeh? Hashem says listen, not once a day, not three times a day, a hundred times a day I'd like you to thank me. A hundred times a day? Okay, even if He's deserving of gratitude. You know, a parent is deserving of gratitude from the child, but what's it going to do to the relationship when the parent says to the child, look, a hundred times a day I want you to say thank you to me. You wouldn't be here without me, you'd have nothing to eat, no roof over your head, no one packed your lunch, no clothing, no one paying your cell phone bill. A hundred times a day I'd like you to thank me. Child's going to be like I have a lot of respect for you and I'm very grateful for you but isn't that a little much? Isn't that a little, a little arrogant? So what's with the Ribbono Shel Olam? בודאי שאין הקדוש ברוך הוא זקוק להודאה שלנו. The answer says Rav Wolbe is you think God gets off on our gratitude? Do you think that's meaningful for him? It's nothing to him. חפץ להביאנו אל אותו תכלית שלשמו למען נברא אדם. God, you think God gets anything out of our praise or gratitude to him? We are nothing. We are fallible finite pathetic worm food. We are nothing. God is the infinite omnipotent omniscient creator of the universe. Do you really think it's meaningful for him when you praise him, when you're grateful to him? If a two-year-old child says thank you to you. So it's cute, it's adorable, it's nice, it's sweet. Are you like wow I can't believe it I got to tell everybody you never going to believe who said thank you to me? Doesn't do anything for you. It's cute, it's adorable, you pinch their cheek, they said thank you. If it's your grandchild you go bananas and you make everybody watch the video. But if it's stam a kid, it's adorable and you don't think about it again and it never comes up again. If somebody great says thank you to you, if somebody, you know a Nobel Prize winner says I read your article I was very impressed by it, oh my god you tell the whole world. You get chills. You can't stop thinking about it the rest of the day. But a little two-year-old child says thank you. Okay, it's cute. To the Ribbono Shel Olam we're less than a two-year-old child. We're a gornisht of gornisht, we're nothing of nothing. When we say Hashem you're amazing, he's like okay that's adorable, you fallible pathetic lack of control or self-discipline failure nothing future worm food. That's cute. That's cute. He doesn't say that about us, he's much nicer than I am. But meaning compared to him, Hashem is the source of everything, the creator of everything, in charge of everything, control of everything. What what are we? What are we? So the answer is Hashem doesn't want us to say thank you and praise him, express gratitude and say 100 brachos a day because he needs it. Why? When we have that little child, let's go back to our metaphor. And early on in their life we insist they say please and thank you. Say Mommy Daddy Bubby Zeidy can I have the lollipop the candy? What do you say? What's the magic word? What's the magic word? Somebody invented that the magic word is please. Then you hand it to them, what do you say? What do you say? Wait, what what do you say? Thank you. Adorable, took the video, sent it to the whole world, your grandchild. Okay good. Please and thank you. Why? Because I need to hear please? I need to hear thank you? The grandparent, the Zeida wants to give the little child the candy or the ice cream more than the child even wants it. More than they want it. Our grandchildren Baruch Hashem were in recently, they went back to Eretz Yisrael. And I took our little grandson who now started to talk, I took him for ice cream twice, I gave him candies twice, on the bimah I gave him every candy I could find. So someone asked me, what what are you giving him this candy? I said because he's going back, he's not going to see me for a while. When he hears the word Zeida I want him to taste something sweet in his mouth. I want him to associate it, it's Pavlovian. I just want him to have that association. It's Pavlovian. That's why. So I want to give it to him more than he wants it. I'm trying to create that response more than more than he wants it. Those who don't have should be zocheh to have einiklach grandchildren. It's a greatest bracha. Everyone should have healthy children grandchildren should enjoy and celebrate im yirtzeh Hashem we daven everybody should should have that privilege. So you want to give it to them more than they want it. So what are you making them say please and thank you? You need to hear the please and the thank you? I'm desperate to give it to him. Please come with me to get ice cream. Thank you for coming with me to get ice cream. It's the greatest thing that ever happened. I should say please and thank you to him. He has to say it to me? Ela mai why do we insist that the little child say it? Not for us but for them. I want him to grow up a little mensch. So if he doesn't say please and thank you at two to me, then at 20 he's also not going to say please and thank you in life. He won't say it to his wife, to his chavrusa, to his roommate, and he'll never say it to the Ribbono Shel Olam himself. So at two years old we insist he says please and thank you so he learns that you have to say please. And you received something, you benefited, your life was enhanced, you say thank you. It's mentschlichkeit. Trying to make him a mensch. Says Rav Wolbe, mai oso tachlis? So the tachlis of our existence is to say please and thank you. So Hashem says I want you to say thank you 100 times a day not because I need to hear it. I don't even listen to it. I don't even listen. Leave it as a voice note, I don't even play it. Just say thank you now not for me says Hashem. I want you to be a mensch. I want you to realize you benefited, your life was enriched, your life was enhanced, you say thank you. מבואר זאת במסילת ישרים וזו לשונו. The Mesillas Yesharim the great Ramchal, we just studied it earlier this morning, we're back Wednesday mornings 10 minutes of meaning 10 minutes of Mesillas Yesharim. We're in chapter 19. You could listen from the beginning if you like. So Mesillas Yesharim this is Perek Aleph. מה שהורונו חכמים הוא שהאדם לא נברא אלא להתענג על השם וליהנות. Says Mesillat Yesharim, the Ramchal, why was man created? Why were we created? They don't teach this line in Jewish education. In Yeshiva, in seminary, in day school, they don't teach this line. It's a tragedy of Jewish education. The overarching attitude I think, my experience at least was, and I had wonderful teachers, it's just not part of the curriculum or the climate of teaching. But the overall attitude is, why were we created? Sacrifice, be of service to Hashem, do his mitzvot, even if it's not comfortable, even if it's painful, you gotta live a life of sacrifice, of compromise, even if you're different, even if it's inconvenient, even if it's uncomfortable. But that's not what the Ramchal says. In the 17th century, in the 18th century, living in Padua, Italy, you know what the Ramchal says? Do you know why Hashem created us? He wants us to have the greatest pleasure in the world. Torah and mitzvot are not about what you give up. They're not about a restrictive, constrictive life. They're not about what you can't have. Torah and mitzvot are the formula and the blueprint, they're the instruction manual to the greatest pleasure in the world. To get high on God. In the words of Reb Shlomo, whose yahrtzeit we just had, Lord get me high, get me high, get me high. L'hitanneg al Hashem. L'hitanneg al Hashem, he gets this from a pasuk in Tehillim. David HaMelech is the one who said it. L'hitanneg al Hashem. L'hitanneg means to feel pleasure. Oneg, Oneg Shabbat. L'hitanneg is the hitpa'el form of the verb, reflexive, to have pleasure, to make myself have pleasure on what? Al Hashem. Every other pleasure is counterfeit. Every other pleasure. If a person is addicted to and experiences the pleasure of alcohol or drugs, chalila, it's fleeting. They become addicted, it wears off, they desperately want it again. If you had the pleasure of this world, food, intimacy, physical pleasure, you experience it, it wears off, it's fleeting, it's temporary, it's temporal, you just crave it again, you can never get enough, it's never permanent. The only permanent pleasure you have is the pleasure of the neshama, of the soul. When the soul makes contact with the divine, when you experience something that's transformational, that changes you, when you touch and you awaken and you nourish something deep inside you, that is the ultimate and the highest pleasure. So the Torah and a relationship with Hashem, they empower us, they give us the tools, the instruments to navigate this world. How do I get through this insane, crazy world? How do I navigate relationships? How do I navigate finances? How do I navigate struggles and challenges? How do I navigate the material world? U-l'hanos mi-ziv shechinaso. U-l'hanos, hana'ah is pleasure. Enjoy the pleasure of divine countenance, she-zehu ha-ta'anug ha-amiti. This is the only true and genuine and real pleasure, v'ha-idun ha-gadol. It is the truest sweetness, מכל העידונים שיכולון להימצא. The greatest sweetness. So right now he's only two, so I want him to have that association, the sweetness is ice cream and candy. But then he'll get a little older, and I'll want him to have the higher sweetness. And you know what's an even higher sweetness than candy and chocolate and ice cream? Mishnayos. Tehillim. A kumzitz. To sing, to sit, to lose yourself in a niggun, on a Friday night, k'achsof, there's nothing sweeter. There's nothing more delicious. There's nothing that's more geshmak, and it lasts, and it changes you, and it molds and it shapes you, and it leaves you a different person than you were. And yes, you want more, but not because what you had wore off, but because you want to add to what became part of what molded and shaped you, what became part of your permanent collection. So when the Ribbono shel Olam says, listen, I've been pretty good to you, you only exist because of me, and you only continue to exist because of me, and the roof over your head, I give it to you, and your bank account, it's because I allow money to flow in, so do me a favor, thank me a hundred times a day, מאה ברכות בכל יום. Every time you eat or drink, go to the bathroom, Shmoneh Esrei three times a day, thunder, lightning, a hundred times a day, I want you to stop and remember I exist and say thank you. Says Rav Wolbe, he's not doing that because he has an ego, he's arrogant, he's not doing that because he lives in selfie world. He's doing that because he wants us to be a mensch. He wants us to live with humility, to realize that we're not the be-all and end-all. He wants us to wash off our feet and stop worshipping at the altar of activity and busyness. He wants us to realize that the success we have is not from our excessive initiative, but it's because we've invited him in our life. We submit, we surrender to him, we talk to him, we thank him, we love him, we recognize him, we acknowledge him, we are invested in that relationship. And to be invested in that relationship, you know when it comes to a human being who you can see and feel and touch and hear, it's one thing. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you need a hundred times a day to check in. Check in, little check-ins. How long is a shehakol and asher yatzar? An Amida even, how long? It needs check-ins a hundred times a day, not because he's self-centered or selfish, he wants us to have the greatest pleasure in the world. And the greatest pleasure in the world, our heart should skip a beat. Our heart should skip a beat when our spouse's name comes up on the caller ID, I don't care if... And I see her on the caller ID, oh, there's nothing more pleasurable in the world than connecting to my soulmate, than connecting with my other half to becoming whole. What's more pleasurable than that? You get a call again, sorry I'm harping, a child, a grandchild, and again, it's a bracha we should all be zocha to, I don't take lightly or make assumptions. But a child or a grandchild calls, you didn't have to keep calling them? Someone called you. You answered thinking it was your child and it turns out, you turn on the FaceTime and it's your little grandchild. Is there, is there a greater ta'anug? Is there a greater hana'ah? Is there anything, a greater idun in the world than that? So HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, check in with me. FaceTime me. FaceTime me, a hundred times a day FaceTime me. Check in. Hashem's heart skips a beat when we reach out and say I remember you're there. I love you, thank you, I just wanted to connect with you, I just wanted to make contact with you. Okay, that's it, believe it or not, we're over time. We're not out of time, we're over time. But I'll tell you good news, we'll meet again next week im yirtzeh Hashem. Continue your homework, the bracha on the opening cup of coffee, still waiting to design our new cup of coffee. Tonight we're going Behind the Bima Rabbi YY Jacobson. If you don't know Rav YY Jacobson, he is extraordinary, a great conversation. Tonight 9:00 PM Behind the Bima. Till next week, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy. Thank you, Rabbi.
