Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov. Welcome back to living with Emuna. Our last living with Emuna, תשפ"א of the year. Great to be together and to once again reinforce within ourselves and in one another to remember that there's a Hashem, there's a creator of the world, that we're not here alone, we're not meant to navigate the world on our own, but that He's right by our side. He is guiding us and He is supporting us and all that happens is for a reason. There are no coincidences, there is no chance, there is no randomness, but whatever's happening in our life is the way it was meant to be. I want to thank our generous series sponsors for the year, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan, who I finally got to meet over Zoom yesterday and really phenomenal people, so deeply appreciative to my dear friends, the Morgans, who sponsor in memory of a great example of living with Emuna, Rabbi Dr. Brian Gabs, zecher livracha, and Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Chanzer, who was a good friend, I found out, of my grandmother, and their neshamas should have an aliya. Thank you so much to the Morgans for their generosity. Also this morning's shiur is sponsored anonymously, sponsored for the refuah of Sara Bas Sara and sponsored by my dear friends Heidi and Alan Fuchs in memory of Al M. Zell. Al M. Zell, an icon of my childhood at Bnai Jeshurun in Teaneck, whose yartzait is Erev Rosh Hashana. Thank you to the Fuchs, our good friends for many, many years, for sponsoring in memory of Heidi's father. We miss Al, we love Al, and they've also sponsored in honor of BRS and all that we provide in programming and teaching and learning and how to be the best version of ourselves. Okay, living with Emuna. Before we dive back into Bayam Darkecha, before we dive back into Rav Itamar Meyer Morgenstern, I want to share with you something on the parsha that I mentioned yesterday in the parsha shiur. It bears repeating. I don't know if you heard the parsha shiur, if you will hear the parsha shiur, or if you have no interest in hearing the parsha shiur, it bears repeating. In our Parshas Nitzavim, or maybe you're listening to living with Emuna some other time of the year, you're catching up and it's not Parshas Nitzavim, but the lesson remains just as relevant. The parsha tells us ושבת עד ה' אלהיך. The Torah tells us that there will come a time we'll be dispersed among the nations of the world, we will be in exile, and in that time, living in that environment, suffering that struggle, we will ושבת עד ה' אלהיך. Rav Soloveitchik points out what should the pasuk have said? Not ושבת עד ה' אלהיך. That return should not be ad, it should be el. We return to God. Ad sounds like up to and including God. How does one return ad? You can't climb into the heavens. We are not omnipotent and infinite, we are not God. So how can you return, how can you repair, how can we even purify ourselves, no matter how good we are, no matter how much we restore ourselves to our original form, still, how can we go ad? How can we reach the heavens? How can we reach Hashem? Baila, so happy you're back, great to see you this morning. So why isn't it el? Why is it ad? And Rav Soloveitchik here has an extraordinary, extraordinary insight. Listen carefully, my dear living with Emuna friends. Rav Soloveitchik says because we are not going to God, we are going onto God. What is the difference between going to Hashem and going onto Hashem? Going to Hashem is a kivun, it's a direction. It means I'm living my life searching and yearning and looking for Him. It means I'm trying to move in the direction, in the trajectory of a better me and of being closer with Him and of seeing Him more in my life. I'm going towards, I'm going to God. That's el. But v'shavta ad, ad is not to or towards, ad is onto. It is connecting with, it is collapsing on, it is being supported by. It is the recognition and the realization that God is in our life and that all that happens is for a reason, and that we are able to submit and surrender onto God, not to God, but onto God. And the Rav in this piece, which originally appears in Lifnei Hashem but is printed in the Rav Soloveitchik Chumash on our Parshat Nitzavim, he says that Yiddishkeit relies on three attributes of the individual: the head, the hand, and the heart. The head is the intellectual. The ignoramus, the am ha'aretz, cannot be a good Jew, a righteous Jew. You have to be knowledgeable, you have to study, you have to learn, you have to engage and challenge the head. The hand, too, I'm sorry, the hand, too, involves mitzvah performance. You have to do mitzvos with your hands, you have to be active and engaged. Our behavior and our lifestyle has to match that expectation of us of Torah. And writes the Rav, although one can find the first two attributes in abundance today, people are learning and studying Torah, our head is engaged; one can find the observance of mitzvos and acts of chesed, our hands are being used; but the third aspect is wanting among contemporary American Jews. The heart involves experiencing Hashem emotionally. And Rachmana liba ba'ei. Hashem of course wants our actions, but he really wants our heart. And in that way, is he any different than the other relationships in life? You know if you come home with chocolates, and you come home with jewelry, and you come home with candy, and you come home with cards, of course your spouse will appreciate it. And there are many who neglect that and it's deeply unappreciated, of course they'll appreciate it. However, it's not enough if all you have are the gestures externally, but your heart is not in it. There's no love, there's no emotion, there's no romance, there's no connection, then what relationship do you have? A relationship needs to have the head and the hand and the heart. And which is most central, which is most critical? So Hashem tells us through his agents Chazal. Our rabbis tell us, Rachmana liba ba'ei. Hashem wants our heart. He wants us to be thoughtful and intentional. He wants us to feel and emote. He wants us to be romantically involved with him. He wants us to talk to him, to communicate, to confide in him, to be grateful to him, to cry to him, to protest and object and scream at him. He wants our heart to be engaged, not just external actions, not just superficial gestures, but to be engaged, Rachmana liba ba'ei. One must feel the emotional pull of the Ribono Shel Olam. Can a Jew genuinely feel his presence? Writes Rav Soloveitchik, based on my own personal experience, the encounter with Hashem is eminently possible. Man not only must believe in God, he must feel God's hand supporting his head during times of emotional turmoil. Potential Ba'alei Teshuvah pine for the sublime sense of hearing God's whisper. The experience of Ad Hashem involves the very real perception of contact, communication, and dialogue. Great is Teshuvah, it reaches the Kisei HaKavod. That's what it means. That's what it means. He writes, he concludes, Rav Soloveitchik, without my feeling the presence of Hashem in 1967 when I suffered the loss of my mother, brother, and my wife in the same year, I would not have been able to maintain my emotional equilibrium. The perception of Hashem's proximity was particularly strong during the study of Torah. While pouring over the opinions of Abaye veRava, I sensed Hashem's presence in that room. And so, my dear friends, Rachmana liba ba'ei. You know, we're in a time of year we're evaluating, we're getting ready, we're preparing, we're promising, and we're trying to persuade God to bring us back, to renew our contract, that we have a role and a mission here in his world. We're about to hit Rosh Hashanah. Rachmana liba ba'ei. It's not about turning the pages of the Machzor. It's not just how hard you can shuckle. It's not just how fast you can say the words. Rachmana liba ba'ei. He wants what's in our heart. Talk, connect, confide. He wants us to be engaged in a living, vibrant, real, authentic, sincere relationship. Rachmana liba ba'ei. And when we do, it's not ve'el, we're not returning el. We're not just in a direction, we're not just a trajectory, we're not just towards him, we are onto him. Not el, but ad. Ad, not el. We have the ability to reach Ad Hashem Elokecha. You know, tonight on Behind the Bema, we're having Sheryl Sandberg, who's the COO of Facebook, an extraordinarily successful woman, a traditional Jew, not observant but very traditional. And she moved me very deeply with her book Option B. She lost her husband, Dave, who died tragically. She was on a business trip, and was exercising in the workout room, and left him to go get ready for dinner, said she'd meet him at dinner. He never showed. She looked all over for him, finally went back to the workout room only to find him collapsed next to the treadmill. He had passed out. He was in great shape, he was healthy, successful. He died very, very suddenly. And she wrote a book about resilience, about endurance. She wrote a book about how you can move to Option B when Option A's been taken away from you. And we already, the interview, the show tonight is live before and after the interview, but the interview's already done. And I can tell you that she says in the interview, she says, I didn't really believe in God before Dave died. I don't know if I believed in God before Dave died. But when he died and when she had to dig deep and find that strength and find that endurance in order to persevere, in order to overcome, when she had to move to Option B, is when she really connected with God. You don't want to miss that conversation. That's at 9 o'clock tonight, or you can listen anytime afterwards, or watch anytime afterwards on YouTube or a podcast player. I say this not to shamelessly promote Behind the Bema. I say this because it's really worth hearing her and hearing Rav Moshe Weinberger last week, who is extraordinary and fire every time you want to feel Emunah. Rav Weinberger, he's the Rebbe. And the week before, Mariano Rivera, a non-Jew who can't say one sentence without talking about the role of God in his life. And Yosef Mendelevich, the Russian refusenik who describes his hunger strike for 54 days, 56 days in a Siberian prison. Why? Because he was trying to get his Siddur back, 'cause he desperately wanted to talk to God. I've said before, you want to feel Emunah, you struggle, if you struggle to feel attached, to feel connected, then piggyback on those who are. Listen to those who feel connected and share in their story, it will inspire you. Read a biography or hear an interview, whether ours or some other, and listen to people who are not el but ad. They're not to God, they're onto God. They are connected with God, they are living with God. with emunah each and every day. And when we struggle, when we stumble, when we're unsure, when we have uncertainty or in doubt, we can listen to those interviews or read those biographies or find those survivors in our community or those extraordinary people who have overcome against all odds terrible, terrible circumstances. And listen and grow in that emunah. So I wanted to just share that insight of Rav Soloveitchik, v'shavta. We can come back. No matter how far you've strayed, no matter the distance you feel from the Almighty. Maybe you're disappointed from him, maybe you're hurt by him, maybe you feel abandoned by him, maybe just you've given into the temptations of this world, you've been distracted and you haven't been paying attention to him. No matter how far we've strayed, no matter how much distance and daylight there is between us, we can always come back v'shavta, return, come home, ad, not el. Don't go to God, go ad, onto God. Submit and surrender, connect and confide, collapse and be supported by Hashem. Not el, not to Hashem, ad. We have the ability to v'shavta. We can return, we can repair, we can renew, we can restore our device, we can restore our neshama to its factory setting, to the purity of the way we were put in this world and connect with him anew from the beginning, from the start. And when we struggle, when we feel that we're far away or distant, v'shavta, and we're trying to come back and we're struggling to feel ad because all we feel is el, we're trying to head in that direction but we don't really feel ad, we're struggling to submit and surrender, then listen or read or watch or connect with someone who has that relationship and it will be contagious to you as well. Okay, we continue in Beyam Derechecha, Rav Shamai Morganstern. We're still on Perek Beis, Darchei Kinyan HaBitul. We're starting Perek Beis today. We've been talking all about bitul for weeks and for months, the notion of submission and surrender, the idea of nullifying our sense of self. That yes, we can enjoy the pleasure of this world and yes, we're here lehis’aneg al Hashem. We're getting high on God, we're getting high on his Torah, we're enjoying the pleasure and the beauty of his world, but not to serve ourselves, we are of service to him. He doesn't work for us, we work for him. Bitul, we nullify, we relinquish and we realize we are agents, we are ambassadors. That just like an ambassador appointed to another country serves at the pleasure of the president or the prime minister, so too we serve at the pleasure of the Almighty. We are his ambassador, we are his agent, we are here to make his difference. עיקר הדרך לקנות את מידת הביטול, the core of the path of how we can acquire that quality so that we've been learning about it in theory, academically. How do we put it into practice? על ידי התבוננות חזקה. The key and the core, says Rav Shamai, is hisbonenus, which loosely translates as contemplativeness, to be contemplative. You know, sometimes we're walking through life and we're being carried by momentum. We're asleep even while we are awake. We get to the end of the day and we don't remember living one moment of it. That's the role of the shofar. I've got a new video, please God, soon, called Behind the Mitzvah about shofar. Shofar is an alarm clock. The Rambam describes it as an alarm, it's waking us from our slumber and our sleep. We are sleepwalking through life. We're eating by rote and by habit, and our time and punctuality is rote and habit, and our relationships, patience or lack thereof are rote and habit. How do we wake up? How do we jar and stir ourselves? How do we snap out of sleepwalking through life to wake up? The answer is hisbonenus. It's contemplativeness. It's being thoughtful. It's stopping to shut down the noise and to be able to think, to be able to hear our own heartbeat, to hear God's playlist that's playing all around us. דהיינו שצריך להתבונן במציאות ה' יתברך ויחודו. You have to contemplate the existence of God veyichudo, his oneness, his uniqueness, his distinctiveness. באופן שהידיעה תהיה כל כך בהירה, that that knowledge has such clarity עד שתיכנס להיות מורגשת בתוך הלב, until it enters that we feel it in our heart ותעשה בלבו כשלהבת אש, so in our heart it's like a spark of fire, it enters into our heart on fire. So if we're not thoughtful, if we're not invested, it won't happen. Same is true in our marriages. Do we think about a gift? Do we think about sending a text message with a bid for connection? Do we stop and think and say thank you to our spouse for what they do and what they bring to our family? Are we thoughtful about how we're going to celebrate our anniversary or what we'll do on that date night when we're trying to reconnect? Only if we stop and we pause and we think and we contemplate the investment we're making in that relationship will it thrive, will it flourish. כי כל שיבין ויכיר בשכלו שאין עוד מלבדו יתברך, because if we can in our head, in our mind, in our intellect, if we cognitively know that there is no one, ein od milvado, there is no one and there is nothing but God. This whole world is a matrix, is an illusion, it all is in his imagination, there is nothing but him. כך יוכל יותר להרגיש את האמת הזו. So if we just continue to keep coming back, ein od milvado, ein od... Ein Od Milvado. Our pressure, our blood pressure is going up. Our heartbeat is increasing. Our sweat glands are pumping. We're running late. The red light. Will we make the flight? What will be? What will work? How will it happen? We have to feel that Emes. We have to know that truth. And what is that truth? That truth is Ein Od Milvado. There is no one, there is nothing but Him. And whatever will be, will be. וממילא להתבטל לפניו יתברך. And therefore to be able to submit and surrender to nullify ourselves to Him. Ein Od Milvado. Never panic and never fear and never worry. It's my article this week, Don't Worry, Be Happy. The article I put up this week is that a great quote, where is this quote, a great quote by Mark Twain. Mark Twain said, I had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. I had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened. And studies show that 84% of the things that we worry about never happen. And the 15% that do, our worry didn't make it any better. So what are we worrying for? Why are we worried? Why are we worried? Ein Od Milvado. There is no one, there is nothing but Him. So we have to dig deep, we have to find the fortitude to overcome whatever we need to, whatever is in our way. But in the end of the day, Ein Od Milvado, Ein Od Milvado. Whatever is happening. Klolo shel davar. Here is the principle, says Rav Itche Meir. צריך להגדיל הבנת השכל עד שיפעל הרגשת הלב ואז לעמול להרגיש זה עוד ועוד כפי יכולתו. We have to work the brain, we have to work the mind, we have to remember and be mindful over and over and over again, and then it will seep down. Gravity will bring it from our head to our heart. It can't just remain in our head. We have to plug it into our heart. It has to go from our head to our heart. So it's not going to be born in our heart if we don't start with it in our head. So we have to allocate the time. We have to be thoughtful. We have to remember and be mindful. Ein Od Milvado. There's no one but Him. There is a Hashem, He is a Creator, He's involved in my life. Why am I panicked? Why am I worried? Why am I anxious? Why am I envious? Why am I arrogant? There is a Hashem. Stop! Hisbonenus. Stop and contemplate. What's happening right now? How am I meant to feel? Will worrying make it any better? How can I submit and surrender to Him? And what do I now need to do? What do I need to do now? What do I need to do now? Ein Od Milvado. Hisbonenus, contemplate. And when I think that and I think that and I think that, it will make its way to my heart. And then I will feel that. It'll be a genuine, authentic, a very real and palpable feeling. I won't just be telling myself let go and let God, I will be feeling a sense of submission. I'll have no worry, I'll have no fear, because I will recognize that it's all Him. וטוב מאוד להתבונן לפי סדר מדרגות הביטול. And it's good to when you're setting aside that time to be contemplative. Maybe it's before Davening, during Davening, after Davening, maybe while riding on the car or going for a walk, whatever time we set aside, not for Hisbodedus, not for that private conversation with God, but Hisbonenus. They're different. Hisbodedus is when I am alone in conversation with God, not just Davening the words of the Siddur, but in between those sentences, the words I add. Hisbodedus. When I am alone, genuinely talking to God, unloading, unburdening, turning to and talking to Hashem casually like, not like, He is my best friend. He is right there and accessible. I'm talking to God. That's Hisbodedus. Hisbonenus is contemplativeness. It's being thoughtful, being mindful. It's thinking. It's setting aside time to think. When I went to Kellogg School of Management for a summer, we were addressed by the CEO of Baxter, which is a company that has thousands, tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of employees around the world. And he described to us that on his schedule every day was time in which he left his office, left his phone behind, instructed his secretary he was unreachable, and he would go for a walk or sit in his car. And that time was designated for thinking. It was on a schedule, on his calendar, designated time for thinking. How many of us have that? Our schedule is full. That was last week's article. What does our schedule tell us about our priorities? Because if we don't schedule our priorities, then if we don't prioritize our schedule and schedule our priorities, they'll never happen. So do we put on our schedule, thinking? Just thinking. There's always noise, there's always background, there's always something playing, there's always a conversation, there's always something stimulating or happening. But what about just being? What about thinking? Because we need to set aside time or it won't happen. To think, to think about Hashem, to think about that relationship, to think about who He is and where He is and our relationship with Him and so on. Vetov meod lehisbonen. So it's good when setting aside that time and going through that journey and that process of thinking to do it in the order that we've spoken about. להעלות בהם לאט לאט מדרגה למדרגה. So we spoke about the first level was, the first level of Bitul was, a Bitul of, a Bitul of קבלת עול מלכות שמים. A Bitul of. That I work for him, he doesn't work for me. That he is in charge, I'm not in charge. And go from level to level, then to level two, level three, level four. ובכל מדריגה יעכב לחשוב בה, and with each level stop and think and stew and marinate and let that thought enter you. Lachshov bah, just remaining sitting and thinking עד שיגש שמאירה לו until it turns on the light, until the bulb goes off. והוא חי ומרגיש אותה, and it doesn't remain a thought that's esoteric and academic that's in the head or the brain alone, but till the thought has a life of its own, till the thought filters down, till the thought illuminates, till the thought makes you alive, until you don't only think it, but until you feel it. Vezeh sidran, and this is the order. Betchila it begins, יחשוב שהשם יתברך הוא בורא עולם. The first thought to have, to sit, to stew, to marinate while driving, while walking, to just think is that God is the creator of the universe. Hu ba'al habayis, he's in charge, he owns it, he's in control. Melech, he's the king, that's what we're going to be doing next week, coronating God at his inauguration coronation ceremony. We're going to be mamlich Hashem, אמרו לפני מלכויות כדי שתמליכוני עליכם. God says, recite malchuyos before me so I can be your king. מלך ושליט על הכל, he is the king, he is the ruler, he is in charge of everything. וכל הנברא חייב לעשות רצונו. Everyone, everything that is created has to do his will. ויחשוב בזה עד שיגש בלבו הרגשת קבלת עול מלכות שמים. So submit, surrender, he is the king, I work for him, he doesn't work for me, he, I'm coronating him as the king of kings, he's in charge, he's in control. Veyakabel belibo, and let that thought come down to our heart, לבטל רצונו מפני רצון השם יתברך. When there's a conflict, a tension between what I want and what he wants, my value and his value, my lifestyle and what he wants my lifestyle to be, that he's in charge. When he says jump, I say how high. I submit and I surrender, words I keep repeating to him. That is the very first level of bittel. Bittel is just to think. If I want to feel it and I want to engage it, if when I'm running late, when the flight is delayed, when I'm waiting to get back a lab report, potential test with bad news, when I'm struggling in a relationship in my life, when I have friction with my finances and I want to get through it, I need to feel in my heart intuitively, instinctively, I need to react immediately and say I'm not panicking, it's not a sense of urgency, Hashem's in charge, he's got this, he's in control, I'm along for the ride. I'm going to take my initiative, I'm going to do my effort, I'm going to express my best self, but then I'm going to wait to see what happens. So how do we get to that point that I instinctively, intuitively react that way? How do we get to the point that I don't even think about panicking, but immediately I'm entirely dependent, reliant on Hashem? Begins with his bonenus, contemplativeness, thoughtfulness, thinking. And what's the first thought? The very first thought is that I work for him. Ve'achar kach, the next thought, יכנס לחשוב בדברים המביאים אותו לאהבת השם יתברך. So the very first thought is that he's in charge, he's in control, he's the ba'alem, he's the ba'al habayis, and I work for him. The second thought is that I love him, because you don't always love your boss. You just have to know the pecking order. You have to know that you report to him, you have to know the chain of command, but you don't have to love him or her. But when it comes to God, it's not just that he's the boss, he's in charge, we work for him, it's that we love him. And we have awe of him, and we admire him. וירגיש שהשם יתברך אינו רק כמלך, he's not just a king שבזה יש הרגשה של מרחק, a king is distant, a king is inaccessible, a king is far away, a king is ruling. והשם יתברך מלא כל הארץ כבודו, but Hakadosh Baruch Hu is omnipresent, he's everywhere. והוא עמנו באהבה בכל דבר וזמן, and we love him. He's lovingly next to us. He's lovingly also waiting for the lab report. He's in the waiting room of the doctor's office. He's lovingly scrambling to make the flight. He's lovingly breaking through in the relationship. עד שיכנס בתוכו להרגיש אש אהבה ויראה ודביקות, until we can feel the fire of love, the fire of awe, and the fire of attaching ourselves to God. To God. Ve'achar kach, and then what comes next? יכנס למחשבה שהשם יתברך מהווה ומחיה את הכל. So first I realize he's in charge, he's in control, he's the ba'al habayis. And then I feel that not only is he in charge, but I love him. I've come to know him and to love him. And then the third thing is that he is the one who is making me be alive. ויתבונן בגדולתו יתברך עוד ועוד, his greatness, how he is, how he is omnipotent and infinite and entirely in control. עד שיגש ביטול ישות וחשיבות האדם, until I realize I'm nothing compared to him, I barely exist, I don't exist. אינו לו שום חשיבות, אינו קובע שם לעצמו, I don't have my own name, I'm not really making my own choices, that really Hashem is in charge, he is in control, I'm his agent, I'm his ambassador, I only serve at his pleasure. Ve'achar kach, and then the fourth thought when I'm sitting and thinking, when I'm making that time to be contemplative, when I'm losing my thought self in those thoughts, which hopefully will filter down to my feelings, the fourth and final one is יעלה למדריגת ביטול במציאות ויתבונן ביחודו, feel it everywhere, see it everywhere. He is everywhere. כמו שאנו אומרים בתפילה אתה הוא עד שלא נברא העולם ואתה הוא משנברא העולם like we say in our davening, we're going to say at the end of davening on Yom Kippur. You are before creation, you are after creation, ויחוש איך אין בנמצא אלא אורו יתברך ויתפשט בתוכו. All around us it looks like there are people, it seems like there are things, it sounds like there are events, nature, history, happenings, it's all Him. Ein od milvado. Everywhere we look and everywhere we turn, it is all Him. That is the fourth level of thought. So there's a curriculum. There's a thought formula, to sit and to think and to examine and to reflect and to talk to a chaver, a friend, a chavruta, a family member, talk out these these ideas. The more we think about them, the more we talk about them, the more real they are, and the more they will remain not only in our head, the more they will come down to our heart and they will help mold us, not only into people who intellectually know there's a Hashem, but people who live with Hashem, people who rely on Hashem, to not only turn to Hashem el, but to return unto Hashem ad, ושבת עד ה' אלהיך to be able to know that He's there, we rely on, to turn to Him as He guides us and as He takes us through life. So join us nine o'clock tonight Behind the Bima with Shoshana Samberg, hear the rest of her answer of how she, how faith got her through that loss. What does it mean that she didn't really believe in God before she lost her husband, but she found Him after. Join us at nine o'clock tonight. Until next time, until we take up living with emuna next year, תשפ"ב. Stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
