Transcript
Good morning, welcome back to פרשה Parsha Perspectives for today, our weekly study of the פרשה Parsha, trying to extract contemporary lessons, ideas for the פרשה Parsha to be the filter through which we examine and explore the world in which we live today. I want to thank our generous sponsors for the year, Becky and Avi Katz, dear friends and family in memory of David Grossman, Becky's father, לאילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מנוש l'ilui nishmas Dovid ben Menachem Manush. Thank you so much for your generosity and sponsorship. This morning's שיעור shiur is also sponsored in this זכות zechus of שושנה לאה בת עליזה Shoshana Leah bas Aliza to find her שידוך shidduch speedily, please God. She'll be dancing at her wedding בקרוב b'karov in the near future. If you'd like to sponsor a future שיעור shiur, please go on brsonline.org/sponsor, brsonline.org/sponsor. Also, every week our פרשה Parsha perspective, somebody puts together beautiful notes, slides, which if you subscribe to our newsletter, you will get both the שיעור shiur and the slides, you could print them out, take them to your שבת Shabbos table, and the דברי תורה divrei Torah you're about to hear, you can be reminded of, clear notes which will help you be able to communicate and share with others. You can sign up for the newsletter at RabbiEphraimGoldberg.org. We are privileged this morning to learn פרשת כי תצא Parshas Ki Seitzei, page 1,046 in the Artscroll Stone חומש Chumash. We continue with a the משנה תורה Mishneh Torah, a repetition of many of the laws that we saw and we've learned earlier in the words of משה רבנו Moshe Rabbeinu on his last day of his life as he's giving a charge to the Jewish people. כי תצא למלחמה על אויביך Ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha. When you go out to war with your enemy, ונתנו השם אלוקיך בידך ושבית שביו u'nsano Hashem Elokecha b'yadecha v'shavisa shivyo, and you will, God will deliver in your hand and you will take captives. You'll be successful and triumphant and you'll collect the spoils which will include people. וראית בשביה אשת יפת תואר V'raisa bashivya eishes yefas to'ar. You're going to capture a beautiful woman among the captivity will be a woman who's beautiful. וחשקת בה ולקחת לך לאשה V'chashakta bah v'lakachta l'cha l'isha. You'll desire her, you'll long for her and you'll take her for you as a wife. והבאתה אל תוך ביתך V'haveisa el toch beisecha and you bring her into your home, you shave her head, and you allow her nails to grow, and you remove the garment of her captivity. She sits in your house, she cries for her parents. This is what are known as the laws of יפת תואר yefas to'ar. We've discussed it as have many in the past at length. A concession to the frailty, to the reality of who we are. לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע Lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara. The Torah speaks to the reality of who we are, not who it wishes we were. Torah is not a utopian document. It doesn't describe a utopian world, it speaks to the reality of the world in which we live, which makes it unusual as a religious document in that sense. So we begin with an insight of Rav Drucken as is his דרך derech. And he wonders about this פסוק pasuk. He says, תמוה לי יש לומר על לשון כי תצא Tamua li yesh lomar al lashon ki seitzei. Why does it say when you go out? What relevance is it? The whole law of יפת תואר yefas to'ar is telling us a law of when you are at war. So why not just begin and tell us, when you're fighting, when you're battling, when you confront your enemy? כי תלחם באויבך Ki tilachem b'oyvecha. When you fight, when you confront your enemy. Why do we have to begin כי תצא ki seitzei when you go out? Moreover, he continues, why does it say אויבך oyvecha as if this is an enemy who's well known, that you know this enemy. היה צריך לומר כי תצא למלחמה על אויב כל שהוא Haya tzarich lomar ki seitzei lamilchama al oyev kol shehu. It should have said when you go out to any war against any enemy. This sounds like a definitive enemy. First of all, כי תצא ki seitzei, why not just begin כי תלחם ki tilachem when you're fighting? Why does it say על אויבך al oyvecha, your enemy, some specific, distinct enemy? Just say אויב oyev, whatever enemy it might be. Thirdly, the third question. Why does it say ונתנו השם אלקיך בידך ושבית שביו v'nasno Hashem Elokecha b'yadecha v'shavisa shivyo, when Hashem delivers into your hand and you take captives? What does one thing have to do with the other? It could have said כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha when you go out, ושבית שביו v'shavisa shivyo, and you take a captive, and it turns out she's beautiful. Why is the תנאי tnai, why is the condition when you take that captive, first, it has to be ונתנו השם אלוקיך בידך v'nasno Hashem Elokecha b'yadecha, places in your hand. And lastly, הדיוק נוסף יש ללמוד hadikduk nosaf yesh lilmod, שנאמר כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך shene'emar ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha. The למד lamed is נקוד בפתח nakud b'patach. Underneath the word, underneath the למד lamed of למלחמה lamilchama. When you go out to the war. משמע למלחמה הידועה Mashma lamilchama hayedua. It is a well-known war, it is a specific war, it is a predictable war, it is an anticipated war. What war are we talking about? What war is the פרשה parsha is the Torah describing? So Rav Druck describes, as so many have, we can recall this in countless names, clearly it's something true. In fact, some say in today's day and age when we don't have these laws applying in the specific way in which they're communicated, then the דרוש drush that second additional layer becomes almost the פשט pshat, the primary level layer. ויש לומר בכל זה v'yesh lomar b'chol zeh so what you can say when it comes to all this, יסוד הדברים yesod hadvarim, it says בספרים הקדושים b'sfarim hakdoshim that the Torah is not talking about simply a war with a physical, material enemy. Torah is talking about the war. And what is the war that we all face? מלחמת היצר milchemes hayeitzer. We all confront the יצר הרע yeitzer hara. אין זו רק מלחמה הרגילה Ein zu rak milchama haregila שיוצאים להילחם עם אויב גשמי sheyotzim l'hilachem im oyev gashmi. This is not a physical war that we're going to fight with a physical enemy. Torah is hinting to a specific war. המלחמה הפנימית הפרטית שיש לכל אחד ואחד Hamilchama hapnimit ha'pratit sheyesh l'chol echad v'echad. We each have a war. You know what the war is? The war of the Trader Joe's corn chips or the Cape Cod potato chips. The war is not continuing to eat even when we're full. The war is getting enough sleep. The war is not being sedentary, but getting up and moving and being active and getting exercise. The war is making it to minyan on time and paying attention when we make ברכות brachos and having כוונה kavana when we daven. The war is holding back when we have some juicy gossip or slander we're desperate to share. The war is the battle between our godly spirit and our animal impulse. The war is the battle to be our best selves when there's so much temptation and desire and distraction, when there is so much noise trying to set us and knock us off course. And now we can answer each of these questions. Why does it say כי תצא ki seitzei? יש כאן רמז למלחמה המהותית הפנימית ביותר Yesh kan remez lamilchama hamahutis hapnimit b'yoser, שהיא כל תפקידו של האדם בעולמו shehi kol tafkido shel ha'adam b'olamo. The answer is we are here to fight this battle. It's not if you go to war, it's כי תצא ki seitzei, when you go out. You know when the war begins? When the alarm clock goes off. Even before your feet hit the ground in the morning, there is a battle. There is a struggle. There is a war. Will I snooze? How many times will I snooze? Will I make excuses to show up late or to come all together to skip minyan? What will be? Even before the alarm goes off, we are in a battle. So not if you go to war, but כי תצא ki seitzei, when we go to war. When the נשמה neshama comes down to this world and is housed in the body, and the soul and the body have different interests, competing interests, they're not always aligned. So there is a battle. The animal instinct inside us says, follow my impulse, follow my drive, follow my desire, do what you want to do. And the godly soul, the godly spirit says, no, you're in control. No, you've got it together. You don't have to give in. That is a battle. כי תצא Ki seitzei, when you go out, meaning when you come to life, you will be in a battle. And now we can understand המלחמה הגדולה החזקה ביותר hamilchama hagdola hachazaka b'yoser, המלווה את האדם משך כל חייו hamelava es ha'adam meshech kol chayav. This is a battle that goes with us throughout our length of days, throughout our life. And that's what it means אויבך oyvecha. The Torah speaking of every person, יש לו אויב פרטי yesh lo oyev prati שאין לאחר she'ein l'acher. This is such a critically important point, says Rav Druck, על אויבך al oyvecha, doesn't say על האויב al ha'oyev when you go to battle, כי תלחם ki tilachem when you fight a war with the enemy. What does it say? With your enemy, because my enemy is different than your enemy. My temptation, my distraction, my kryptonite, what I have to fight to overcome. Each of us come from a different background. Each of us have different personalities. Each of us have different strengths and different weaknesses, and therefore each of us are facing different battles. Each of us has our own battle that others likely know nothing about. It's in our head, it's in our lives, it's in our daily struggle. Some are visible, some we can team up, some we are collective fights that we share universally, but many are very, very personal battles, battles that others don't know, in our marriage, with our children, with our physical well-being. We are battling with our spiritual, with our mental health, with our sense of self-confidence. People have no idea. So it says אויבך oyvecha, your enemy, not simply generically על האויב al ha'oyev, the enemy. And moreover, the Torah adds, what is the nature of this battle? Can you finish it? Can you fight the enemy and conclude the war? Does it ever end? says Rav Druck, no. ונתנו השם אלקיך בידך V'nasno Hashem Elokecha b'yadecha, אל יחשוב אדם לומר שלום עלי נפשי שהצלחתי לנצח את יצר הרע al yachshov adam lomar shalom alai nafshi shehitzlachti l'natzeiach es yeitzer hara. You shouldn't feel even after ונתנו השם אלקיך בידך v'nasno Hashem Elokecha b'yadecha, when God puts the enemy in your hand, when you feel triumphant and victorious, when you think you've won, you need to know כי מלחמת היצר אינה מפסקת לעולם ki milchemes hayeitzer eina mafsekes l'olam. This is an ongoing battle. Do you know how long this battle will last? Maybe different battles, but do you know how long the war will go? From the moment you're born to the day you die. As long as we are here on this earth, as long as we are blessed to be alive, we are battling. The battle may change, the battlefield may change. What goes into concrete territory and what remains on the battlefield may change. However, it is an ongoing battle, an absolute ongoing battle. Because to be alive is to be battling, is to be struggling, is to be confronting. Maybe we form better habits, maybe we make better choices, maybe we have better patterns in our life, but we're always battling, always battling. And not only are we always battling, and that's why it says even after בידך b'yadecha, you won this battle, but there'll be another one, the war continues. I remember once dealing with someone and I learned something from a therapist, a therapist who was treating the person and I was simply consulting, playing a complimentary role, and I learned something from the therapist. This individual had had repeated a previous mistake they've made, previous poor behavior, poor decision making, sabotage not only his own success, but potentially his whole marriage. And he thought that he had conquered the issue when he had confronted it many years before. And the therapist said, you need to understand that this is a battle that you will never win, ever. This is ongoing. You will never conquer it, you're always going to have to treat. And the moment that you think you've moved it into concrete territory, you are in trouble because it will rear its ugly head again. We have to know that it's ongoing, never conquered, never complete, but it's a battle that needs to be managed, never won. It's managed, but it's never fully won. Number two, says Rav Druck, אופן נוסף נראה לישב ofen nosaf nireh l'yashev, you can answer differently, כי תצא ki seitzei, and what does it mean? מדובר במלחמת היצר medubar b'milchemes hayeitzer, אין להמתין עד שיבוא היצר ein l'hamtin ad sheyavo hayeitzer. Don't wait for the יצר הרע yeitzer hara to come to you. Take the initiative, declare the war, go out and battle it for first on its territory before it comes in and tries to conquer yours. And that's why it says כי תצא ki seitzei. Don't wait for it to come here. כי תצא למלחמה ki seitzei lamilchama, when you go out to war. Don't be in a defensive posture. Don't be having to repair the damage that's already been done, but כי תצא ki seitzei, identify where are the pitfalls, what are the problems? How will I go out? How will I conquer? In fact, the אלול Elul series for BRS this year, we have these four areas of life: how we eat, getting enough sleep, are we breathing, and and movement and exercise, not just being sedentary, not just being still. For the next four Tuesday nights, Rabbi Moscowitz, many of the rabbis of BRS and I are giving these classes on these four different areas, and you can sign up for a WhatsApp group to be challenged and to grow, to get חיזוק chizuk each day of אלול Elul in these 40 days, less than 40 days now as we're counting down to ראש השנה Rosh Hashanah, to grow in these four areas. כי תצא Ki seitzei, we are going out. Don't wait for the battle to come to you, go, take initiative and go identify, what do I need to improve? Fight it and battle it and try to make it, try to make it better. כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך Ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha.Okay, Torah moving along, what happens? כי תהיינה לאיש שתי נשים, האחת אהובה והאחת שנואה Ki sihyena l'ish shtei nashim, ha'achas ahuva v'ha'achas snua. A person's gonna have two wives, one they love, one they hate, you're gonna have children. והיה הבן הבכור לשניאה V'haya haben habchor lasnia. What's the law of the בן בכור ben bechor? ביום הנחילו את בניו את אשר יהיה לו לא יוכל לבכר את בן האהובה B'yom hanchilo es banav es asher yihyeh lo, lo yuchal l'vaker es ben ha'ahuva, כי את הבכור בן השנואה יכיר לתת לו פי שניים בכל אשר ימצא לו ki es habchor ben hasnua yakir lases lo pi shnayim b'chol asher yimatzei lo. The Torah believes in a hierarchy, a birth order, and the responsibility that comes with it. That's why we, the Jewish people ourselves, are considered בני בכורי ישראל bni bechori Yisrael. That on the one hand, we're described בנים אתם להשם banim atem l'Hashem. We are God's children. But on the other, we're not his only children. All of humanity are God's children, but among the children, we are the eldest. בני בכורי ישראל Bni bechori Yisrael. We are the בכור bechor. We are the oldest child. What is the significance? What is the role? What is the responsibility of that oldest child? The oldest child takes the place of the parent. The oldest child bears the responsibility to care for the siblings, to protect them, to teach them, to inspire them, and therefore the oldest sibling needs to be prepared, empowered with the resources to be able to be able to do so. There's a beautiful בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim. בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim in a very cute, if you're allowed to call בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim cute, בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim of Yaakov ben Asher says, where do you see this hinted to in the פסוק pasuk? This is the הלכה halacha. Last year we gave a series of שיעורים shiurim, four or five or six parts about the הלכה halacha of wills, not ethical wills, and not last not the living will, but wills. How do we bequeath our property, our assets, our estate to our children? And how do we either employ or legally circumvent these rules that the oldest son gets a double portion, which the פוסקים poskim say today, and you can go back and listen and see those source sheets, the פוסקים poskim today say we do not follow. If you give the oldest child, the oldest son, not a child, it's the oldest son a double portion, you will alienate and create great resentment and strife among the children. It's a bad idea. So how do you get out of it? How do we get out of giving the oldest son a double portion? How do we get out of only bequeathing to the sons and not to the daughters? There are הלכות halachos that speak to it all. But where do you see in the פסוק pasuk, where do you see in the word בכור bechor itself an allusion to the בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim of Yaakov ben Asher says, לתת לו פי שניים lases lo pi shnayim, the בכור bechor, the eldest gets a double portion, בשביל שהוא נוטל פי שניים, יש באותיות בכור ענין כפל bishvil shehu noteil pi shnayim, yesh b'osiyos bechor inyan keifel. Because he gets a double portion, the whole word בכור bechor, the whole word that means the eldest is all double. בית כפולה אלף Beis kfula aleph. The letter בית beis is double, two, is double of the one, the אלף aleph. The כף כפולה יוד שלפניה chaf kfula yud she'lefaneha. The letter כף chaf is 20, is double of the 10 that comes before it. And ריש כפולה על קוף שלפניה reish kfula al kuf she'lefaneha. The ריש reish, 200, is double the קוף kuf, the 100, that comes before it. So it says the בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim, very cute comment, that the word בכור bechor itself includes an allusion or reference to the idea that the eldest child gets a double portion. בית Beis is double אלף aleph, כף chaf is double יוד yud, and ריש reish is double קוף kuf. The בכור bechor gets a double portion so that they are empowered to be able to help the other, to be able to help their siblings and to protect them. Okay. Moving right along. Here כי תצא ki seitzei is filled with a litany of laws, a repetition of all we've seen before, but a beautiful repetition of these laws. כי יהיה לאיש בן סורר ומורה Ki yihiyeh l'ish ben sorer u'moreh, איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו einenu shomea b'kol aviv u'v'kol imo. We've seen again this at length as well. What happens when a rebellious, a wayward child is born, who is unwilling to listen, rejects all the messages of the father, the mother, ויסרו אותו ולא ישמע אליהם v'yisru oso v'lo yishma aleihem. They discipline him, but he doesn't listen. He does not change, he's not conditioned by the discipline. ותפשו בו אביו ואמו והוציאו אותו אל זקני עירו ואל שער מקומו V'safsu vo aviv v'imo v'hotziu oso el ziknei iro v'el sha'ar mekomo. So the father and mother grab him, take him out to the elders, and they say, בננו זה סורר ומורה איננו שומע בקולנו זולל וסובא Bnenu zeh sorer u'moreh, einenu shomea b'kolenu, zolel v'sovei. This child, he's rebellious, he won't listen to our voice. He's זולל zolel, a glutton, וסובא v'sovei, and a drunkard. We'll mention this when we do my section, I think it's next Tuesday night, on how to eat properly. You see that part of what brings down the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, this rebellious child who has no future, the rebellious child who has to be eliminated from the Jewish people, is זולל וסובא zolel v'sovei, gluttonous, has no boundaries in eating and drinking, has no borders, just indulges in every appetite, in every appetite of food and of drink. ורגמוהו כל אנשי עירו באבנים ומת ובערת הרע מקרבך U'rgamuhu kol anshei iro ba'avanim v'meis u'viarta ha'ra mikirbecha. And all the men throw stones at him and kill him and you remove this evil from your city. And there's so many questions, we've studied this in the past as well, the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh. Our rabbis teach us the criteria to be able to qualify. This never existed. There never was, there never will be a בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh. Why is it included in the Torah? In order, דרוש וקבל שכר drosh v'kabel schar for us to study and to teach and to promote Torah values. So what are those Torah values? What lessons can we extract about parenting and about Jewish education? He never existed, the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, but what can we learn? I shared before, one of my good friends' father once told me, he was a Jewish educator and left Jewish education. Maybe that inspired this insight or this דבר תורה dvar Torah. But he said, read the pasuk differently. This is just a joke, this is not obviously meant to be taken seriously. But read it, כי יהיה לאיש בן סורר ki yihiyeh l'ish ben sorer, if you have a child who's rebellious, ומורה איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו u'moreh einenu shomea b'kol aviv u'v'kol imo. But the teacher doesn't listen. The teacher's not obedient. The teacher doesn't follow. What do you do? You grab the teacher and you say, בננו זה סורר Bnenu zeh sorer, our child is rebellious, but מורה איננו שומע בקולנו moreh einenu shomea b'koleinu. The teacher, the administrator, the principal at his school, they won't listen. זולל וסובא Zolel v'sovei, the teacher, it's all the teacher's fault. ורגמוהו כל אנשי עירו U'rgamuhu kol anshei iro, you take the teacher out and you stone him. Once upon a time, parent-teacher conference night, the children would shitzer, the children were nervous what the parents were going to hear. Now parent teacher night, the teachers shitzer. It's the teachers who are nervous, the parents are going to come take the children's side and beat them up. It's a mistake. If we want our children to do well, partner and respect and listen and embrace. It doesn't mean every teacher's perfect, but it means the teachers are our partners. So don't read it בננו זה סורר ומורה איננו שומע bnenu zeh sorer u'moreh einenu shomea, but realize it's the בננו זה סורר ומורה bnenu zeh sorer u'moreh that is what goes together. So חז\"ל Chazal teach, our rabbis teach that the criteria to qualify for this label, what do you earn being a בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, is, is the the פסוקים psukim delineate who it is. And we have this impression that this child is evil, that this child is wicked, this child is malevolent. But that's not how it started. The story of the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, the story of this rebellious child began not with rebellion, but with boredom, with indifference. Rashi tells us that the word סורר sorer comes from the word סר sar. He started out by drifting from the path. No one was engaging him or her. He or her, their their mind was wandering. They weren't allowed or invited to ask their questions. They were being shut down and stifled. So they were bored. They were bored. They weren't being defiant or seditious as much as they were being uninspired and apathetic. And when they checked out, and when no one noticed they checked out, is how it all began. They were סורר sorer, they were סר sar, they were drifting from the path. They were disappearing, they were pulling back, and when no one responded and when no one noticed, when no one engaged, they didn't just become סורר sorer, they didn't just סר sar, they didn't just drift, they also became מורה moreh, rebellious and they became defiant. איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו Einenu shomea b'kol aviv u'v'kol imo, they refused to listen. The parents are speaking, but they're not listening. Rav Gifter זצ\"ל zt\"l points out, the פסוק pasuk doesn't say איננו שומע בדברינו einenu shomea b'divreinu. It doesn't say the parents don't come and proclaim he or she are not listening to our words. It says איננו שומע einenu shomea to what? קולנו Koleinu, our voice. Now, for the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, the parents are just jumbled sounds. They're not articulate words. They're not compelling, they're not persuasive, they're not changing. All they hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They say, \"Wake up for דאווענען davening,\" and he hears blah, blah, blah. But it's even worse. The אור החיים הקדוש Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh on our פסוק pasuk says, איננו שומע einenu shomea, doesn't say אינו שומע eino shomea. He doesn't hear. It says איננו שומע einenu shomea. Says the אור החיים Ohr HaChaim, what's the difference between איננו einenu and אינו eino? איננו Einenu means he can't. There's a blockage, there's a barrier. It's not that he chooses not to listen, it's that he can't listen. The message is prevented from penetrating. Why? What's causing that breakdown? This child who started with boredom and apathy and then moved to rebelliousness because the parent's voice is not penetrating. Why? Why isn't it penetrating? So the Torah says איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו einenu shomea b'kol aviv u'v'kol imo. He can't hear the voice of the father and the voice of the mother. The Torah never wastes a word and yet it says קול אביו kol aviv and קול אמו kol imo. Why doesn't it just say קול אביו ואמו kol aviv v'imo? Can shorten it, could contract, it could be more concise. So some suggest the answer is because there is a second קול kol. It's not redundant or extraneous. There's a separate קול kol. The father and the mother are not on the same page. There's a mixed message being said. There's what they say and what they do, and they're each saying separate things. And when there's a mixed message, when different messages are being sent, then the child's unable to hear. We have to have a unified and a united message, a compelling message, a message that we are living and behaving, a message that we are carrying with our actions as much with our words, if we want our child not to be סר sar, not to drift from the דרך derech, but to stay on. A lot more to say, you can listen to past years when we talked more insights into the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, but continuing.פרק כב פסוק ד Perek kaf-beis pasuk daled. פרק כב פסוק ד Perek kaf-beis pasuk daled. The Torah tells us, לא תראה את חמור אחיך או שורו נופלים בדרך והתעלמת מהם, הקם תקים עמו Lo sireh es chamor achicha o shoro noflim baderech v'his'alamta mehem, hakeim takim imo. You cannot see the donkey of your brother, your ox falling in the road and hide. You can't see that there's someone with a flat tire. You can't see that someone is struggling or stumbling, whose car ran out of gas or battery broke down. You cannot see somebody who needs to be jump started and you're going to keep walking. You're not going to help. You're not going to intervene or interfere or help. You cannot והתעלמת מהם v'his'alamta mehem. Don't close your eyes, don't look away, don't bury your face. הקם תקים עמו Hakeim takim imo. Stand up with them. Help them up. Help them. הקם תקים עמו Hakeim takim imo. So they were falling, חמור אחיך chamor achicha or שורו shoro are נופלים noflim. They were falling. You have an obligation to help them. But how do you have to help them? How do you have to help them? So look at Rashi. Rashi says הקם תקים זו טעינה, להטעין משאו שנפל מעליו Hakeim takim zu te'ina, l'hatein maso shenafal me'alav. This means loading, loading what had fallen off the donkey. עמו עם בעליו Imo im ba'alav. You have to help the person recover with their own help, with their own initiative. אבל הלך וישב לו ואמר לו הואיל ועליך המצווה תטען פטור Aval halach v'yashav lo v'amar lo ho'il v'alecha hamitzvah te'ein, patur. So what happens? What happens? Somebody's donkey is collapsing under the weight, under the load. Somebody's donking is collapsing and you come over to help them. And you say, I'm here. Let me help you. And they say, oh, but you have a Mitzvah. You have a Mitzvah to lift up my donkey. Now you do the Mitzvah. I'm going to get a shawarma. You do the Mitzvah. I'm going to have a cup of coffee on the side of the road and watch you do all the work. Says Rashi, the word is עמו imo. You have to help with him. If he doesn't want to help himself, you are not obligated to help him. This is a comment not only on the specific הלכה halacha of הקם תקים עמו hakeim takim imo of your obligation to help him. Maybe one can extrapolate public policy, public health policy. Do you have to help the people not helping themselves? Do others have to inconvenience themselves or make themselves uncomfortable or go to extreme measures when the people who could be taking advantage of the miraculous ways that we could help ourselves are refusing to? What is the הלכה halacha? Do we have to protect people who refuse to protect themselves? Or if somebody's not עמו imo, they're not doing what they need to do to protect themselves, then maybe we're not obligated to protect them. Perhaps from our פסוק pasuk and this Rashi, one can extrapolate extrapolate public policy.Rav Moshe Soloveitchik זצ\"ל zt\"l, Rav Moshe Soloveitchik says, you see from here a very powerful lesson. הקם תקים עמו Hakeim takim imo means not only the law of somebody who has a broken down car, the law of somebody who's collapsing, who if they're not trying to help themselves. The כלי יקר Kli Yakar says on this פסוק pasuk, by the way, the כלי יקר Kli Yakar says you see this when it comes to the laws of צדקה tzedaka. Somebody who doesn't try to get a job, somebody who doesn't try to support themselves, they're going to go knock on door to door and they're going to collect צדקה tzedaka. And they're going to say, look, I'm נופל בדרך nofel baderech, I'm falling, I'm collapsing. I need you הקם תקים עמו hakeim takim imo. I need you to help lift me up. Write the check. Pay my bill. Take care of my family. No, says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, you see the word is עמו imo. It's only the person who's trying to help themself. We help someone who's helping themself. We inconvenience ourselves, we sacrifice our own resources, we invest in someone who's helping themself. But if they refuse to help themself, and they put it all on, not somebody who's incapable, somebody who's debilitated, somebody who's incapable from helping themselves because of circumstances that are not their fault, of course we have to help them. But somebody who is able to help themselves and chooses not to, they're not looking for a job, they're not earning their wage, they're not doing what they can, they simply want to live off of others, says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, such an individual you are exempt. Pasuk says עמו imo. We're only obligated or responsible with them, עמו imo. So it says Rav Moshe Soloveitchik, what do you see from here? The same is true when it comes to the ריבונו של עולם Ribono Shel Olam. We want Hashem to help us. It's that time of year, it's אלול Elul, we're getting ready for ראש השנה Rosh Hashanah. Hashem, sign and scribe, seal me for a year of good health and פרנסה parnassah, give me נחת nachas for my children. Give me שלום בית shalom bayis, peace in my home. God, all the ברכות brachos, I want all the blessings. So God says, I'll help you עמו imo, if you're helping yourself. And that's that Rav Moshe Soloveitchik gives the is the פשט pshat, that's how we can understand the פסוק pasuk. We've begun saying פרק כז of תהילים Tehillim. We've begun saying קפיטל kapitel 27. דוד המלך Dovid HaMelech in לדוד השם אורי וישעי l'Dovid Hashem ori v'yishi. And we say אחת שאלתי מאת השם אותה אבקש Achas sha'alti me'es Hashem, osa avakesh. We have a double language. One thing I ask from God, אותה אבקש osa avakesh, that one thing I want. So what does it mean? אחת שאלתי Achas sha'alti, I want one thing, אותה אבקש osa avakesh, that one thing I want, I ask for, it's redundant. It sounds like we're simply repeating ourselves. אחת שאלתי Achas sha'alti, I'm asking for one thing, אותה osa, the one thing, אבקש avakesh, the one thing is what I'm asking. So how do you understand that? So the answer is that whatever מידה mida הקדוש ברוך הוא Hakadosh Baruch Hu acts with us, we are מבקש מהשם יתברך mevakesh me'Hashem yisbarach to give us סייעתא דשמיא siyata d'shmaya on everything. But הקדוש ברוך הוא Hakadosh Baruch Hu will not help us if we don't help ourselves, if we don't help ourselves. הקם תקים עמו Hakeim takim imo. So that's the פשט pshat that Rav Moshe Soloveitchik. אחת שאלתי מאת השם Achas sha'alti me'es Hashem. I have one question, and one question is שבתי בבית השם כל ימי חיי shivti b'veis Hashem kol yemei chayai. I want to sit in Hashem's house all the days of my life. But when will Hashem help me? If אותה אבקש osa avakesh. If that's what I'm working on, if that's what I'm trying, if that's the effort I'm making. So I can't not work on my inspiration and then say, Hashem, wave your magic wand and have me wake up tomorrow inspired. What am I doing to inspire myself? Hashem will help to contribute to my inspiration if I take those first steps to inspire myself. So אחת שאלתי מאת השם achas sha'alti me'es Hashem, and I will show that I'm doing it because אותה אבקש osa avakesh. אבקש Avakesh doesn't just mean it's what I'm asking for. אבקש avakesh means my behavior, my choices, my lifestyle reflect that I'm a מבקש mevakesh. I'm searching, I'm yearning, I'm working towards living that life. So הקם תקים עמו hakeim takim imo, just like our פרשה parsha has a הלכה halacha, when a person is collapsing, when their donkey or their car are breaking down, we have to help them, jump start, revive, get on the road again, but only עמו imo, only if they're trying to help themselves. Said Rav Moshe Soloveitchik, the same הלכה halacha applies spiritually this time of year. Hashem will help us. He will lift us. He will jump start us when we look like we're broken down on the side of the road, but only if we help ourselves. אותה אבקש Osa avakesh. Are you going to that extra שיעור shiur? Are you coming a little early to דאווענען davening? Are you reading things that will challenge you and inspire you? Are you doing what you need to do in order to kickstart, to fan that flame, that pilot light, to become inspired? If אותה אבקש osa avakesh, if we're making our effort and doing our part, if we're taking our step, then אחת שאלתי achas sha'alti, then we can ask Hashem to help us as well.פרק כב פסוק ג Perek kaf-beis pasuk gimmel continuing along the way. Many, many laws we've gone through some of them in the past, מעקה maakeh, כי תבנה בית חדש Ki sivneh bayis chadash, when you build a new home and you have to make a מעקה maakeh, a fence on your on your roof, which applies not only to your roof, a railing, it applies on your balcony, it applies not to have anything dangerous in your home. Why does it say that you have to do this with the בית חדש bayis chadash, with a new house? The הלכה halacha is you're obligated even if it's a 50-year-old home that you purchase and the proper railing and the proper roof fence are not up, then you have to put them up now. So why is it formulated in that way? You can listen to previous years' שיעורים shiurim. We spoke about מעקה maakeh specifically. כלאיים kilayim, you're not allowed to mix things. What is the significance of keeping species separate, not trying to compete with God by creating a hybrid? We have to stay in our lane and know the boundaries. This applies not only to כלאיים kilayim, to mixing the seeds of the field, but also בשור ובחמור יחדיו b'shor u'v'chamor yachdav, you can't mix an ox and a donkey. לא תלבש שעטנז lo silbash shaatnez, you can't mix two different materials combining fibers, wool and linen together with the exception of course, ציצית tzitzis, עשה דוחה לא תעשה aseh doche lo sa'aseh, not for now. So many, so many laws, adultery, of defaming a married woman, the laws goes on and on. פרק כג פסוק ג Perek kaf-gimmel pasuk gimmel. We're moving to. The Torah tells us a very difficult set of laws, individuals whom we're not allowed to marry. We're not allowed to bring them or integrate them into the community. And these individuals, very, very difficult. לא יבוא פצוע דכה וכרות שפכה בקהל השם Lo yavo ptzua daka u'chrus shafcha bikhal Hashem, you can't put the person with certain physical deficiencies. לא יבוא ממזר בקהל השם Lo yavo mamzer bikhal Hashem, and this is the one that perhaps is the most difficult, the most painful. The Torah tells us a ממזר mamzer. Who is a ממזר mamzer? I don't mean that, you know, the brother-in-law that you don't like or the or the the shul leader that you don't like or the person who did business with who you defame by calling a ממזר mamzer. ממזר Mamzer is the word that we use, the most the greatest insult that we could have is to חס ושלום chas v'shalom call somebody a ממזר mamzer. So of course that's not what a ממזר mamzer means technically or הלכתית halachically. A ממזר mamzer is the result of עריות arayos, a forbidden relationship. A ממזר mamzer is not the a woman and a man were not married. If they didn't have proper חופה וקידושין chuppah v'kiddushin, they don't produce a ממזר mamzer. Born out of wedlock is not a ממזר mamzer. A ממזר mamzer is the result of one of the עריות arayos. So a man with a married woman would create ממזרות mamzeirus. That's why if a couple get married with a proper הלכתית halachic marriage, but they do not get a גט get, they do not get a כשר גט kosher get to sever their marriage, and then the woman remarries, thinks that she's remarrying, but really that's אשת איש eishes ish. She remains a married woman. That's why there are some people who say better not to do הלכתית halachic weddings for non-observant. If you're not confident that if the marriage would dissolve, they would get a גט get, you're doing a disservice. You are potentially setting up and creating ממזרות mamzeirus. because if you do a proper חופה וקידושין Chuppah u'kiddushin and you're not confident that if they don't keep their marriage, they'll get a גט get, and she will remarry, a child born of that second union would be a ממזר mamzer. And a ממזר mamzer לא יבא בקהל lo yavo bakahal. נבך Nebech, a ממזר mamzer can marry another ממזר mamzer or ממזרת mamzeres, but they cannot marry, they cannot marry someone who's not a ממזר mamzer. Tragic. It is the classic tragic, why punish a child for something their parents did? The child that's born from that prohibited union did nothing wrong. They made no poor choice. So why do they live with that label of being a ממזר mamzer? Why are they precluded from marrying into the people? It's a tragic, tragic circumstance. So Rav Soloveitchik in the Rav Soloveitchik's חומש Chumash describe, tackles this question. He writes contemporary rabbis are confronted with horrible problems, social, political, cultural, economic, problems of the family, of community, of society in general. Consider the problem of ממזרים mamzeirim. The plight of the ממזר mamzer is very tragic, a tragedy that the משנה Mishna, the מדרש Medrash itself points out in קהלת רבה פרק ד Koheles Rabbah, Perek Daled. Yet it remains a religious reality. No one can change this reality, neither I nor the Chief Rabbi of Israel nor the great rabbis outside of Israel. הלכה Halacha has its own orbit, its own pattern of responding to a challenge, its own criteria and principles. My grandfather רב חיים סולובייצ'יק Rav Chaim Soloveitchik used to try his best to rule leniently in such cases, but there were limits. When you reach that limit, all you can say is, I surrender to the will of the Almighty. We cannot allow a married woman, no matter how tragic the case, to remarry without a גט get. תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah constitutes an act of surrender, of קבלת עול מלכות שמים kabbalas ol malchus shamayim, of accepting the yoke of מצוות mitzvos. The word yoke suggests that קבלת עול מלכות שמים kabbalas ol malchus shamayim can sometimes be very uncomfortable. It requires sacrificial action of man, but although it is a heavy yoke, the קבלה kabbalah must still take place. This was a speech that the Rav gave in 1975 to the RCA convention.Study of the Torah is an ecstatic metaphysical performance. The study of Torah is an act of surrender. That is why חז\"ל Chazal stressed the importance of humility. Humility is necessary because the study of Torah means meeting the Almighty. And if a finite being meets the infinite, the Almighty, the maker of the world, of course this meeting must precipitate a mood of humility. And humility results in surrender. What do we surrender to the Almighty? We surrender two things. First, we surrender the everyday logic, what we call mercantile logic, the logic of the businessman or the utilitarian person, and we embrace another logic, the logic of סיני Sinai. Second, we surrender the everyday will, which is very utilitarian and superficial, and we embrace another will, the will of סיני Sinai. What does קבלת עול מלכות שמים kabbalas ol malchus shamayim require of the person who studies Torah? We have to pursue the truth. The truth, the truth in תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah can only be achieved through singular הלכתית halachic thinking and understanding. The truth is attained from within, in accord with the methodology given by Moshe and passed on from generation to generation. It is ridiculous, said the Rav, to say, I have discovered an approach to the interpretation of Torah which is completely new, of which the רשב\"א Rashba didn't know, the קצות Ktzos didn't know, the וילנא גאון Vilna Gaon had no knowledge. One must join the ranks of the חכמי המסורה chachmei hamasorah. חז\"ל, ראשונים, גדולי אחרונים Chazal, Rishonim, Gedolei Acharonim, and not try to rationalize from without. Such an attempt, be it historicism, be it psychologicism, psychologism? I don't know that word. Be it utilitarianism, undermines the very foundations of Torah and our tradition, leading eventually to assimilation and nihilism, no matter how worthy the original intention. We must not feel inferior, yielding to the charm of modern political and ideological trends. Not only may we not compromise, we may not even yield emotionally to feel inferior. There is no need for an apology. We should have pride in our מסורה mesorah. One must not try to gear the הלכתית halachic norm to the transient ways of a neurotic society. The Rav is saying here that the real religion is not the קומזיץ kumzits, the קומבאיא kumbaya, that great moment when everything makes sense, when we feel on a religious high. The real test of religious man is our willingness to submit and surrender. When things are beyond our comprehension, when we can't understand, when we can't make sense of it, when it's uncomfortable and painful and difficult, and yet, are we obedient to His will or do we force our will? Our willingness to surrender is the testament to our really being committed to Him and committed to His religion, to the רבונו של עולם Ribbono Shel Olam, to the תורה הקדושה Torah HaKedosha. And perhaps nowhere does that come more to force than the laws of ממזרות mamzeirus. We don't understand them, and they don't make sense to us, and they seem unfairly punitive, and yet, we must abide by them. We must abide by them. I fight personally and unfortunately have have been beaten up because of it in certain circles, and you and we fight on behalf of עגונות agunos. But we cannot make up new הלכות halachos to let them feel that they can remarry. We would call ממזרים mamzeirim, cause ממזרות mamzeirus. We have to get them a גט get, and we have to stop at no end to be able to rally to get them their גט get within the הלכתית halachic process and within what we can do. But if we don't do it that way and we think we're going to introduce some new method, then not only will they not be truly free, חלילה chalila we could create a situation of ממזרות mamzeirus.פרק כ\"ג Perek Kaf Gimmel, פסוק ד' pasuk daled. The next individual or group of individuals who are not allowed or welcome to integrate, to marry into the Jewish people, to join the Jewish community, לא יבא עמוני ומואבי בקהל השם lo yavo Amoni u'Moavi bikhal Hashem. You're not allowed to welcome an Ammonite or a Moabite. Why? גם דור עשירי לא יבא להם בקהל השם עד עולם gam dor asiri lo yavo lahem bikhal Hashem ad olam. Even in the tenth generation, they shall not enter for all eternity. Of course, we've lost track of these nations. We no longer know who they are, we no longer therefore preclude them, but they're not allowed to join. Why are they not allowed to join? Why are they not allowed to join? So Rashi tells us, לא יבא lo yavo... not Rashi. Yeah, Rashi, לא יבא עמוני, לא ישא ישראלית lo yavo Amoni, lo yisa Yisraelis, is not allowed to marry. Why not? So, the אש תמיד Eish Tamid, we're back to Rav Druck. And Rav Druck says the following. Says Rav Druck the following. פסוק זה ניתן באש תמיד מדוע לא יבא עמוני Pasuk zeh nittan b'Eish Tamid madua lo yavo Amoni. I'm sorry, if you keep reading, that's what I... The Torah tells you if you keep reading. על דבר אשר לא קדמו אתכם בלחם ובמים בדרך בצאתכם ממצרים Al devar asher lo kidmu eschem b'lechem u'v'mayim baderech b'tzeichchem mi'Mitzrayim. All you have to do is keep reading the פסוקים psukim. Because when we were traveling, when we were leaving Egypt and we needed some rest and respite and provisions and we asked them, they said no. They didn't greet us with bread and water on the road when we were leaving Egypt. And be number one, and number two, אשר שכר עליך את בלעם בן בעור מפתור ארם נהרים לקללך asher sachar alecha es Bilam ben Beor mi'Psor Aram Naharayim l'kalelacha. They hired someone to curse us out. They hired an assassin to spiritually try to assassinate us. It didn't work, but that was nevertheless their nefarious plan. And for those two reasons, because they did not welcome us, they did not practice graciousness with us, and they hired someone to destroy us, therefore, you should not show them mercy. We cannot absorb the cruel character into our people. DNA, their DNA carries cruelty even ten generations later. Such behavior is cruel, we cannot carry it, we cannot absorb it into our people. The question is well known. ידוע השאלה שלכאורה אין הסדר נכון yadua hashe'elah she'lichora ein haseder nachon, the order is out of order. בוודאי מה ששכרו את בלעם לקלל את ישראל b'vadai ma she'sachru es Bilam l'kalel es Yisrael, when they hired Bilam to curse us, גרוע פי כמה וכמה משלא קדמו אותם בלחם ובמים garua pi kama v'kama mi'shelo kidmu osam b'lechem u'v'mayim. Which is the more heinous, which is the more egregious of their violations? Much worse they tried to hire someone to destroy and obliterate us, to extinguish us altogether. Oh yeah, also when we were hungry, they didn't offer us anything to eat. When we were thirsty, they didn't offer us anything to drink. But what is more egregious? What is more cruel? The fact that they hired someone to destroy us. So why does the Torah list it in the other order? That is the question of Rav Druck. If you want to say Ammon and Moav can't marry into the Jewish people because they have cruelty in their DNA, which is the greater reflection of the intensity of the cruelty? Clearly that they hired someone to destroy us. Also, they didn't offer us something to eat or drink. But why does it first list what we were leaving Egypt, they didn't offer לא קדמו אתכם בלחם ובמים lo kidmu eschem b'lechem u'v'mayim? That seems to be secondary, not primary.So says Rav Druck, נראה לבאר בשני אופנים nir'eh l'va'er b'shnei ofanim. You can answer in two different ways. Number one, באמת יש לשאול מהיכן הגיעו לרשעות זו, לשפלות כזאת שהסכימו להשכיר ולמחות אומה שלימה מעל פני העולם b'emes yesh lish'ol me'heichan higiu l'rishus zu, l'shiflus kazos she'hiskimu l'haskir v'limchos umah shleimah mei'al pnei ha'olam. You can ask, how did they get to that point? How did they descend to that place where they were willing to hire a spiritual assassin, where they hired Bilam to curse us out and to destroy us? How did that happen? How did they come to that place? אין רשע כזה נוצר באופן פתאומי ein rasha kazeh notzar b'ofen pit'omi. Such rishus, such cruelty, such evil doesn't happen spontaneously. It happens gradually. רואה אנשים רעבים וצמאים ועוצם עיניו כמו שאין רואה בצערם ro'eh anashim re'evim u'tzme'im v'otzem einav k'mo she'ein ro'eh b'tza'aram. So, you know how it happens? It begins with a lesser cruelty. When you see people hungry, and you see people thirsty, and you not only close your eyes, but you ignore their pleas. When you choose to be cruel to them, you've planted the seed that ultimately will result in your ability to hire someone to destroy. לבסוף מגיע גם לידי כך שעושה להם רע בפועל l'vasof magia gam lidei kach she'oseh lahem ra b'fo'al. So at first it was a passive cruelty. Your unwillingness to provide provisions was a passive cruelty. But when you can practice passive cruelty, eventually you will practice active cruelty. And that is exactly what happened here, and suggests Rav Druck, that's why that is the order of the פסוקים psukim. First they were insensitive and unresponsive to the pleas of the Jews on our way out of Egypt for provisions. And that passive cruelty ultimately manifested itself in an active cruelty. Number one. Number two. עמון ומואב לא נתבעו סתם על כך שלא קדמו את ישראל בלחם ובמים Amon u'Moav lo nitbe'u stam al kach she'lo kidmu es Yisrael b'lechem u'v'mayim. שאר אומות העולם לא נתבעו, יתכן שלא היו נוהגים על פי מדה זו בצורה כל כך חמורה. אבל עמון ומואב הלא הם מבני לוט הם Sha'ar umos ha'olam lo nitbe'u, yitachen shelo hayu nohagim al pi midah zu b'tzurah kol kach chamurah. Aval Amon u'Moav halo heim m'bnei Lot heim. Maybe nobody was sharing provisions with us. They were not outliers, they were practicing the norm. But why should they have been different? Because after all, where do Amon and Moav come from? Amon and Moav descend from Lot. And Lot descends from Avraham Avinu. Lot is his nephew. And Lot was saved by Avraham Avinu. So really, Lot and his descendants owed the Jewish people for their very existence. Their very existence is only because of what they owe Avraham. So if there was any nation, if there was any people who should have been the first to come out and to offer and to be gracious and hospitable, it should have been Amon and Moav. ומאחר שלא קדמו אותם בלחם ובמים, הרי הם בגדר מידה זו של כפיות טובה. מי שיש בו מידה רעה זו, אין לו סכוי להכיר טובה לרעו, הרי מידה זו היא הגרועה ביותר מכל המידות U'mei'achar she'lo kidmu osam b'lechem u'v'mayim, harei heim b'geder midah zu shel kefiyus tova. Mi she'yesh bo midah ra'ah zu, ein lo sikui l'hakir tova l're'ehu, harei midah zu hi ha'gru'ah b'yoser mi'kol ha'midos. So the fact that they were ungrateful. They should have been the first. They should have been so grateful. Their entire existence is only because of the behavior of Avraham Avinu. So Amon and Moav, the descendants of Lot, should have said we owe the Jewish people in perpetuity forever and ever. What can we give you? What can we get you? How can we take care of you? And the fact that they didn't is an act of of כפיית טובה kefiyas tova, of כפויי טובה kefuyei tova. They were ungrateful, ungrateful. Being ungrateful is a fatal character flaw. Being ungrateful is among the worst character flaws you can have, says the מדרש תנחומא Midrash Tanchuma. כל הכופר בטובתו של חבירו, סופו שיכפור בטובתו של מקום Kol ha'kofer b'tovaso shel chaveiro, sofo she'yichpor b'tovaso shel Makom. If you're ungrateful to people, you will end up being ungrateful to God. If you can't recognize and say thank you for the good that people do, then ultimately you will not recognize and say thank you for the good, the graciousness that God does. And therefore it's a fatal character flaw. They practice a lack of gratitude. They were unwilling to offer and be hospitable to us. לכן נכתב בתורה תחילה טעם זה Lachen nichtav baTorah techilah ta'am zeh. And that's why that was the first reason that was offered. It's not that it's less egregious, it is equal or more egregious. That lack of hospitality, that lack of gratitude is what metastasizes, it's what grows into the other negative qualities that ends up being so damaging as well.And this is also reflected by the קוצקער רבי Kotsker Rebbe. The great קוצקער רבי Kotsker Rebbe, in the wonderful ספר sefer I've been telling you about, אמת ואמונה Emes V'emunah, the חידושי הרי\"ם מקוצק Chidushei HaRim Mi'Kotsk says... Sorry, not the Kotsker. This is also described by רב שטיינמן Rav Shteinman. Rav Shteinman says the following. He says, לא יבא עמוני ומואבי בקהל השם על דבר השם lo yavo Amoni u'Moavi bikhal Hashem al devar Hashem. And he quotes the רמב\"ן Ramban. הנראה אלי Ha'nir'eh elai, listen to the Ramban. הנראה אלי כי הכתוב הרחיק שני האחים האלה שהיו גומלי חסד מאברהם, שהציל אביהם ואמם מן החרב והשבי, ובזכותו שלחם השם מתוך ההפכה, והיה ראוי להם לעשות טובה לישראל Ha'nir'eh elai ki hakasuv hirchik shnei ha'achim ha'eleh she'hayu gomlei chesed m'Avraham, she'hitzil avihem v'imam min ha'cherev v'ha'shevi, u'v'zchuso shalacham Hashem mitoch ha'hafechah, v'haya ra'ui lahem la'asos tova l'Yisrael. Says the Ramban, these are the descendants of Lot. Avraham went to war, went to battle, risked it all in order to save them. And they should have been filled with gratitude. So wonders, wonders the הילולא Heilige ר' אהרן לייב שטיינמן זצ\"ל Rav Aharon Leib Shteinman Zatzal in his ספר sefer איילת השחר Ayeles Hashachar. He wonders, הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov? What do you mean? They can't marry because they lacked הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov? Where does it say that non-Jews are obligated in הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov? We have what we call the שבע מצוות בני נח Sheva Mitzvos Bnei Noach. We have the seven Noahide laws. We have very clearly delineated seven laws that apply to non-Jews. And there is not הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov among them. So how can הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov, the obligation to be grateful, be so strong that the ingratitude caused us to not allow them to marry, where in the Torah does it say that non-Jews, בני נח Bnei Noach are מחוייב mechuyav, they're obligated in הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov in gratitude? So listen to what Rav Shteinman writes. He says, הכרת הטוב לא נתחייבו מצד ההלכה. הכרת הטוב הוא אחד מביסודי צורת אדם, ומי שחסר לו זה, אין לו תבנית צורת אדם כלל Hakaras hatov lo nischayvu mitzad ha'halacha. Hakaras hatov hu echad m'yesodei tzuras adam, u'mi she'chaser lo zeh, ein lo tavnis tzuras adam klal. הכרת הטוב Hakaras hatov is not a mitzvah. הכרת הטוב Hakaras hatov is not an obligation that non-Jews have. הכרת הטוב Hakaras hatov is part of the building blocks and the definition of what it means to be a person. To be a human being is to be grateful. And if you are ungrateful, if you can't recognize the good that someone has done, it's not that you have omitted or violated a mitzvah. It's that you are failing to be a person. And that's what חז\"ל Chazal say in עבודה זרה דף ה' Avodah Zarah Daf Hei. מה הייתה טענתו על אדם הראשון בחטא אכילת עץ הדעת, כפויי טובה היה mah hayta ta'anaso al Adam HaRishon b'cheit achilas eitz ha'da'as, kefui tova haya. What was the... טענה taina... What was the indictment against Adam that he ate from the עץ הדעת eitz ha'da'as? Because he was ungrateful. The lack of gratitude. God put him in the Garden of Eden and said, eat to your heart's content, have whatever you want, hit the smorgasbord called the גן עדן Gan Eden. However, one thing don't touch. And when he did, he violated the whole purpose he was created. He was ungrateful. When you are ungrateful, you're not even a בן אדם ben adam. When you are ungrateful, you violate your very existence as a person, identity as a person. And for that, and for that, Adam was expelled. So similarly here, says Rav Shteinman, you see that בני נח Bnei Noach, non-Jews are not obligated as a mitzvah. There are seven, not eight Noahide laws, yet it's part of the building block, the cornerstone, the fabric of what it means to be a person is the responsibility and the obligation to express gratitude, to express gratitude.פרק כ\"ד פסוק ט\"ז Perek Kaf Daled Pasuk Tet Zayin. Let's skip that. We don't have enough time. I want to get to a few more things. You know what, let's do it. פרק כ\"ד פסוק ט\"ז Perek Kaf Daled Pasuk Tet Zayin. Chapter 24 verse 16. Torah tells us... Moving right along, divorce and remarriage, kidnapping, צרעת tzara'as and slander, wow. So many מצוות mitzvos. כי תצא Ki Seitzei is chock full with a million מצוות mitzvos. Slight exaggeration, but lots and lots of מצוות mitzvos. So פרק כ\"ד Perek Kaf Daled, פסוק ט\"ז pasuk tet zayin. לא יומתו אבות על בנים ובנים לא יומתו על אבות, איש בחטאו יומתו lo yumsu avos al banim u'vanim lo yumsu al avos, ish b'cheito yumosu. Individual responsibility. The Torah tells us fathers should not be put to death because of children, children should not be put to death because of parents, a person is put to death for their own sin. לא יומתו בנים על אבותם Lo yumsu banim al avosam. Back to the Rav Soloveitchik חומש Chumash. Rav Soloveitchik in his חומש Chumash he says the following, says the following. In פרקי אבות Pirkei Avos we're told that at the end of our lives we'll be required to give דין וחשבון din v'cheshbon, an accounting and a reckoning for our days and years in this world. דין Din involves individual judgment for what we accomplished, how much we failed to accomplish. Each man shall be put to death for his own transgression. Each person for their own. איש בחטאו יומת Ish b'cheito yumas. That's דין din. What is חשבון cheshbon? חשבון Cheshbon is for one's progeny as well. Offspring can be a great asset for the departed soul or alternatively a great liability. The גמרא Gemara in סוכה דף נ\"ו Sukkah Daf Nun Vav we learn of the priestly family of Bilgah, whose rights and privileges in the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash were curtailed because of the behavior of one daughter who rejected Judaism and married a Greek soldier. So the family of Bilgah, this esteemed, prominent family of כהנים kohanim, we learn, lost their rights and privileges because one of their children married a Greek soldier. The גמרא Gemara in ראש השנה ל\"ד ב' Rosh Hashanah Lamed Daled Beis states on the day of Rosh Hashanah, the books of living and the books of the dead are open before Hashem. ספרי חיים וספרי מתים Sifrei chaim v'sifrei meisim. It's usually interpreted to mean that on this day, Hashem judges who will live and who will die. Those who will live out the year are inscribed in the book of the living. And those who will not are inscribed in the book of the dead. But there is, however, another possible interpretation, says Rav Soloveitchik. The books of the living and of the dead represent judgment for both the living and the dead. All of mankind are judged on this day. The book of the living represents the judgment for those who are alive, and the book of the dead represents a recurring verdict pronounced upon those who have already died. So it means the book of the living and the book of the dead is not about whether you will be inscribed in the book of life or death, but it means that even those who are not here, they are examined once again. Why could they be examined? They're in the world to come, they're in the עולם האמת olam ha'emes. They're not no longer in a world of free will and of choice. For what are they being examined? Says the Rav, the reason for continuing judgment of those who are no longer alive is that the consequences of a person's actions cannot always be immediately determined. For example, one may have raised a child without a proper religious education. As a result, the child will later turn his back on Judaism, which will in turn result in the assimilation of his own children and grandchildren. The dead are judged on every Rosh Hashanah for actions whose consequences were not realized until that very year. Wow, what a powerful insight, what a what a challenging insight. It means that if we make poor choices in this world and they leave a poor impression and influence on others, we are responsible for that not only while we're alive, we carry that with us into the world to come. And that's an enormous onus and enormous responsibility on us, our children, our progeny, the future to be able to inspire. So Rav Soloveitchik is explaining that this pasuk, לא יומתו בנים על אבות lo yumsu banim al avos, children don't die for parents, parents don't die for children, on the one hand, it's true in terms of the specific consequences, the law. However, in terms of our identity, in terms of the impact that we leave, it remains very much that the dead are still judged for the choice, the inspiration, or the lack thereof they left on their next generations.פרק כ\"ד פסוק י\"ז Perek Kaf Daled Pasuk Yud Zayin. Very next pasuk. לא תטה משפט גר יתום, ולא תחבול בגד אלמנה Lo sateh mishpat ger yasom, v'lo sachbol beged almanah. Don't pervert the judgment of the גר ger or the יתום yasom, of the גר ger or the יתום yasom. Who are the גר ger, the convert, or the orphan. So, it's a beautiful, the בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim writes, גר יתום ger yasom, ולא אמר גר ויתום v'lo amar ger v'yasom. The Torah doesn't say here, don't pervert justice, judgment for the convert or the convert and the orphan. It says גר יתום ger yasom. לומר לך, גר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי lomar lecha, ger she'nisgayer k'katan she'nolad dami. It's a גמרא Gemara in יבמות דף כ\"ב Yevamos Daf Chaf Beis. The בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim quotes the גמרא Gemara in יבמות דף כ\"ב Yevamos Daf Chaf Beis, that we know that a convert, a גר שנתגייר ger she'nisgayer, somebody who converts is born again. It means technically speaking, biblically speaking, the convert can marry their own sister. The convert's no longer related to their parents. Where do we know that principle from? גר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי ger she'nisgayer k'katan she'nolad dami. So the חתם סופר Chasam Sofer in his חידושים chidushim on עבודה זרה Avodah Zarah דף ס\"ד Daf Samech Daled says, יגעתי הרבה ולא מצאתי מקור לדברי רבנן, דגר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי yagati harbeh v'lo matzasi makor l'divrei Rabbanan, d'ger she'nisgayer k'katan she'nolad dami. Where do we find the source for this? חז\"ל Chazal, our rabbis took it for granted that a convert is as if born again and has no relationships to any of the previous people to whom he was biologically related. And therefore, מותר באחותו ובתו ובאמו mutar b'achoso, u'v'ito, u'v'imo. ובצריך עיון גדול u'v'tzarich iyun gadol, says the Chasam Sofer, I don't know where it comes from. Perhaps it comes from this בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim. This בעל הטורים Baal HaTurim is the מקור makor. Why? It doesn't say גר ויתום ger v'yasom. It says גר יתום ger yasom. By definition, by becoming a גר ger, by definition when you convert, you're an orphan. You're no longer related. כקטן שנולד דמי K'katan she'nolad dami. You're born again, you're born anew, so that you're no longer biologically related to the people who came before, and that's why you are כאילו ke'ilu born again. So a beautiful insight, I forgot where. Why do we say גר שנתגייר כקטן שנולד דמי ger she'nisgayer k'katan she'nolad dami? We should say גוי שנתגייר goy she'nisgayer, a non-Jew who converted is as if born again, a non-Jew who converted is as if gets a fresh start. Why do we say גר שנתגייר ger she'nisgayer? And the answer is because every individual who was destined to convert was already present at הר סיני Har Sinai. It was already determined at הר סיני Har Sinai that they were going to convert. And therefore it's גר שנתגייר ger she'nisgayer. The convert who converted. They were already on the trajectory, it was already determined, their soul was already at Sinai. And now they just have to go through the technical part to continue to transform their soul. So גר שנתגייר ger she'nisgayer. The convert who completed the conversion, as opposed to the non-Jew who converted.פרק כ\"ה פסוק י\"ג Perek Chaf Hei Pasuk Yud Gimmel. Last insight, arguably the most important for today, that I want to share with you, a very powerful, very important, very very contemporary insight. The Torah tells us towards the end of our parsha, פרק כ\"ה Perek Chaf Hei, פסוק י\"ג pasuk yud gimmel. לא יהיה לך בכיסך אבן ואבן גדולה וקטנה Lo yihyeh lecha b'chischa even va'even, gedolah u'ketanah. Don't have in your pouch a weight and a weight, a large one and a small one. We know that in antiquity, before they had scales, digital scales, and before they had cash registers, the way that you would weigh how much of a particular ingredient or material or good that you were selling, you'd weigh it on a scale and based on the weight, you determine the price. So the Torah says, be honest with those weights and measures. לא יהיה לך בביתך איפה ואיפה, גדולה וקטנה Lo yihyeh lecha b'veischa eifah v'eifah, gedolah u'ketanah. Don't have multiple measures, a large one and a small one. But rather אבן שלמה וצדק יהיה לך, איפה שלמה וצדק יהיה לך, למען יאריכון ימיך על האדמה אשר השם אלוקיך נותן לך even shleimah v'tzedek yihyeh lach, eifah shleimah v'tzedek yihyeh lach, l'ma'an yaarichun yamecha al ha'adamah asher Hashem Elokecha nosein lach. Have an honest and a perfect measure. כי תועבת השם אלוקיך כל עושה אלה, כל עושה עוול ki so'avas Hashem Elokecha kol oseh eileh, kol oseh avel. If you're dishonest in business, you are a תועבה to'eivah. People like to throw around the world, the word תועבה to'eivah. We describe certain behaviors or certain orientation as תועבה to'eivah. It is an abomination. But you know what else is an abomination? Being dishonest. Reporting something as a business expense when it wasn't. Being dishonest on your taxes. Being ruthless in your marketing and advertising. Being dishonest, that's also considered a תועבה to'eivah. The Torah Torah here tells us that being dishonest in business is a תועבה to'eivah. Being dishonest in business is an abomination. Interestingly, the Torah here says, Rashi, אבן ואבן even va'even, משקלות mishkalos. גדולה וקטנה gedolah u'ketanah. גדולה שמכחיש זה קטנה. לא ינתן בגדולה, מכחיש בקטנה gedolah, she'machish es ketanah. lo yiten b'gedolah, machish b'ketanah. Torah is telling us to be very, very careful when it comes to our weights and measures. If we steal, not only have we violated בין אדם לחבירו bein adam l'chavero, when you steal, you've not only violated between man and man, but we're violating between us and God as well. And that's what the N'tziv suggested in her Emek Davar, that N'tziv suggests we mentioned this last year as well, that the reason we have these laws of honest weights and measures right next to the war of the law of Amalek, is because if Rashi says, it's a Rashi. Rashi says, the juxtaposition of these two mitzvos is, if you're dishonest in weights and measures, then be concerned of the provocation by the enemy. Attacked by people such as Amalek are a punishment for being dishonest with weights and measures. Why is there a punishment? Where does this come from? So the N'tziv says very beautifully. He asks a series of questions, but he gives the following answer. He says Hashem sends Amalek before Amalek's attack, Bnei Yisrael complain about the lack of drinking, say, is Hashem with us or not? So Amalek come because we didn't bring Hashem in our midst. So, so the N'tziv says that when do we merit divine providence? When we act honestly. If you act dishonestly, you've not got out of the equation. If we are dishonest, then Hashem is not there. If we really believe Hashem provides for us, we'd never cheat, steal, we'd never cut corners. We'd never bend the rules. If we believe what's coming to us is coming from Hashem, we would be honest all along, we'd never take a shortcut. We'd never take a shortcut. It is absolutely abomination to Hashem. It's interesting the pasuk says, כי תועבת השם אלוקיך כל עושה אלה, כל עושה עוול ki so'avas Hashem Elokecha kol oseh eileh, kol oseh avel. It's a funny language, clumsy. It's an abomination of Hashem, all who do this, all who act corruptly. Why this? כל עושה אלה, כל עושה עוול kol oseh eileh, kol oseh avel. So Rav Menachem Mendel Sack, the הייליגע מנחם ציון heilige Menachem Tzion, you know I quote him often, I love him as a Rav in Chicago, the son-in-law of Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank, the מנחם ציון Menachem Tzion. So the Menachem Tzion says, what does it mean כי תועבת השם ki so'avas Hashem? You know what's an abomination to God? You know what is the biggest abomination to God? כל עושה אלה kol oseh eileh, when you keep all of Torah, and then כל עושה עוול kol oseh avel, and then you cheat in business. When you shuckle in shul, and when you have a long Shemoneh Esrei, and when you have your name in lights for all the tzedakah and chesed that you do, and then you're dishonest in business. כל עושה אלה kol oseh eileh, you keep all of Torah, and yet כל עושה עוול kol oseh avel, and yet you cheat in business. That is the תועבה to'eivah to Hashem. Hashem says that's the abomination. If you can't be honest and straight in business, don't pretend that you love me. Because if you love me, you realize that I'll take care of you. If you love me, you realize that you don't need to cut corners or cheat. Cheating and cutting corners and stealing is not only a violation בין אדם לחבירו bein adam l'chavero, but is an act of כפירה kefira. You show that you don't really have faith in Hashem. If you really have faith in Hashem, you'd never cut corners, you'd never cheat, you'd never steal, you would never bend the rules.There's a beautiful insight of the קדושת לוי Kedushas Levi, Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, and we'll end with with this insight today. Rav Levi Yitzchak is trying to resolve a סתירה stira between two גמרות Gemaros. On the one hand the גמרא Gemara says in סנהדרין דף ז' Sanhedrin Daf Zayin. On the one hand the Gemara, I'm sorry, on the one hand the Gemara says in Shabbos that we know that when we die, we come upstairs and we're greeted by our maker, he has a series of questions he asks us. And one of them is, נשאת ונתת באמונה nasasa v'nasata b'emunah? Did we do our business dealings honestly? And then אחר כך קבעת עיתים acharei kach kavata itim? Then the Gemara then we'll be asked upstairs, קבעת עיתים לתורה kavata itim la'Torah? Did you set aside time for Torah study? So what's the order of the questions? First we're asked if we dealt honestly in business and then we're asked קבעת עיתים kavata itim, did we set aside time for Torah study. But then the גמרא Gemara in סנהדרין Sanhedrin says, אמר רב המנונא, אין תחילת דינו של אדם נידון אלא על דברי תורה amar Rav Hamnuna, ein techilas dino shel adam nidon ela al divrei Torah. That we are judged for whether we learned Torah or not. So which is it? Are we first asked about honest business dealings or are we first asked about our commitment to learning Torah? So listen to what the Kedushas Levi, the Heilige Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev says something so beautiful. נראה לבאר דהשאלה אחת היא Nir'eh l'va'er d'hashe'elah achas hi. Really they're the very same question. Were you honest in business and did you learn Torah? הבה תליא haba talya. כיון דעסק במשא ובמתן באמונה, שפיר עסקת בתורה Keivan d'asak b'masa u'v'matan b'emunah, shapir asakta ba'Torah. If you do business dealings honestly, then clearly you've learned Torah. דהנה יש תענוג לאנשים שהם מפוזרים ועוסקים במשא ומתן, כי צרכי ישראל מרובים, היאך יכולים לעסוק בתורה בשעה שהם עוסקים במשא ומתן d'hinei yesh ta'anug l'anashim she'heim mefuzarim v'oskim b'masa u'v'matan, ki tzorchei Yisrael merubim, heich yecholim la'asok ba'Torah b'sha'ah she'heim oskim b'masa u'v'matan. Because if you're doing business, how do you have time to learn? You have to bring in an income, make a livelihood, provide for your family, give to the community. Then how do you have time to learn? So Shlomo HaMelech said, בכל דרכיך דעהו b'chol drachecha da'eihu. We come to know Hashem in all of our dealings. because when you go out to the marketplace, and you're tempted to cheat in business, but you remember, אבן שלמה even shleima, no, no, no, I have to have a complete and I have to have whole weights and measures. You're tempted to be lewd and licentious and you remember that you have to be modest and humble. You're tempted to be ruthless and you remember, מדבר שקר תרחק midvar sheker tirchak, you cannot tell a lie. When you go out into business and the business world and you are employing and engaging all the lessons of Torah all day long, that is the fulfillment of קבעת עיתים לתורה kavata itim la'Torah. You are learning Torah when you are living Torah. And therefore, says Rav Levi Yitzchak, it's not a stira, it's not a contradiction. Which are you asked first? Are you first asked, did you do your business dealings honestly? And then did you learn Torah? Or are we first asked, did you learn Torah? It's a זעלבע זאך zelbe zach, it's really the very same question. It's really the very same question. Did we live Torah? We learned Torah through our living of Torah. Living Torah through our learning of Torah. נמצא אם עסקת במשא ומתן באמונה, אז הוא לומד גם כן Nimtza im asakta b'masa u'v'matan b'emunah, azai hu lomed gam kein. don't do anything inconsistent with Torah. We're living Torah, living Torah is learning Torah. ומיושב קושיית התוספות, דשואלים נשאת ונתת באמונה, וממילא למדת כל התורה, אם כן מתחילה שאלה גם כן על דברי תורה U'meyushav kushyas ha'Tosfos, d'sho'alim nasasa v'nasata b'emunah, u'memaila lamadeta kol haTorah, im kein m'techilah she'elah gam kein al divrei Torah. That is the answer of the Kedushas Levi. So we have responsibility to be honest in our business dealings. It's a תועבה to'eivah. כל עושה אלה kol oseh eileh, if we keep Torah and mitzvos, and then also עוול avel, and then we cheat and we cut corners, it's a תועבה to'eivah. It is an abomination to Hashem. We should all be honest and straight and bring great merit. The ORB, our local hashgacha, several years ago decided not only to test the ingredients in each of our stores, but we calibrate the scales. We want to make sure whatever people are being charged, however many ounces or pounds they claim it to be, that those scales are honest, because part of כשרות kashrus is ישרות yashrus. You have to keep not only kosher, you have to be ישר yosher. You have to be honest and straight, otherwise it is a תועבה to'eivah, it is an abomination. Again, if you'd like to sponsor a future שיעור shiur, go on BRSonline.org/sponsor. If you'd like to get the notes of today's שיעור shiur and you want to be able to bring it to your Shabbos table and share these דברי תורה divrei Torah, simply subscribe to the newsletter at RabbiEphraimGoldberg.org, RabbiEphraimGoldberg.org. Sign up to get that newsletter, and in it you will have the beautiful Parsha PDF for your table. Until next time, tomorrow, 10 minutes of meaning 8:15, Living with Emunah 8:45, and 9 p.m. tomorrow night, Wednesday night, we go behind the Bima with the great Hall of Fame, man of faith who loves God, Mariano Rivera, the great Mo, the Sandman, 9:00 p.m. Wednesday night. Till next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
