Transcript
Good morning and welcome back to Living with Emuna after our summer break. It is great to be back together working on our awareness and mindfulness that we did not come into existence by accident or randomness, but HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the Almighty as creator of the world, he's intimately involved in our lives and the more we remember him, attach ourselves to him, the more invested we are in him, the better and the more alive we will be. I want to thank our generous Emuna series sponsors, our dear friends Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan, in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut, whose second yahrzeit just occurred, and in memory of Bella's mother Doctor Ellen Shanzer. Thank you so much for your generosity. Thank you so much for your sponsorship. This morning's particular class is sponsored by the Diamond, Ginsburg, Newman, and Burman families to mark today the completion of the shloshim of our dear friend, their beloved husband, father, son, brother, and brother-in-law, and uncle, Chaim Diamond, alav hashalom. Chaim was a dear friend of mine who left this world way too young 30 days ago, a big heart, a generous spirit, he had a very, very authentic relationship with Hashem who was a real role model to me and so many others in how authentic and real that relationship was. He cared passionately about Jewish education and taking care and protecting children, and we think about him on this shloshim. His memory continues to inspire us and we hope and pray that his family finds comfort for the tremendous, tremendous person that he was. Thank you for coming back for our Living with Emuna. We have been studying Biyam D'rachecha, Rav Itamar Morgenstern. When we last left off, we are going through the chapter on bittul: how to submit and surrender, how to not lead lives driven by ego—ego stands for edging God out—but rather lead lives of humility, of submission, of surrender to recognize that as hard as we try and with all the initiative that we take, ultimately, in the end of the day, it is entirely up to him. We work for him, he doesn't work for us. He is in charge and we do all that we can and everything in our power, but at the end of the day, bittul, we submit, we surrender, we are mevatel to him. As we've studied many times in the past when we were working on the sefer before the summer break, the idea of bittul, of submission, of surrender is not to a God outside ourselves, but God inside ourselves. We're not giving up our sense of self, we're actualizing our most genuine sense of self. The best part of who we are is our Tzelem Elokim. The best part of who we are is our godly soul, our godly and most noble spirit. So when we submit to our godly soul, submit to an ambition for a godly life, when we submit and surrender that God is in charge and we accept, we're never angry because this is the way it's meant to be. We're never envious because he provides what we need. We're never anxious because as long as we've done all we can, then by definition things will work out the way he wants it to be. Therefore, a life of Emuna, a life of submitting of bittul, of surrendering to him is not forfeiting ourselves but is in fact actualizing and fulfilling the very best version of ourselves because that Tzelem Elokim, that godliness is inside of us. So I want to tell you on this week's Parsha a very beautiful insight connected to Emuna and bittul. You can use it this Shabbos of Va'etchanan, but really relevant all the time because we say it in Aleinu. You are familiar with this pasuk: וידעת היום והשבות אל לבבך. We're not in Biyam D'rachecha, I want to tell you a vort, a dvar Torah before we start. וידעת היום והשבות אל לבבך: know today and put it in your heart, כי ה' הוא האלוקים that God is our God, the Almighty, the omnipotent, the all-powerful, the one who was, is, and will be, hu HaElokim—he is our God. בשמים ממעל ועל הארץ מתחת אין עוד—in the heavens above and on the earth below, there is no one else but him. That is all. That is all. So Rav Ahron Karliner tells us to read it, the Heilige Karliner, Rav Ahron of Karlin, the author of Ke'echsof, he says read it the following: V'yadata hayom, we have to know. Know. Know with full confidence that there is a God. It's not conjecture, it's not doubt, it's not possibly, but know. Extend your antenna, pick up the signal, think about how all of creation that is sophisticated by design has a creator. Feel his presence. I spent part of the summer in the west, out west in Wyoming, Grand Teton National Park, Yellowstone. God is everywhere. He's undeniable. In the magnificent wildlife, in the scenery, in the ecological cycle, he's everywhere there. You don't have to extend your antenna far to pick up Ein Tzur k'Elokeinu, there is no rock like God; Ein Tzayar k'Elokeinu, there's no artist like God. He's everywhere. But the truth is no matter where you are, if you extend that antenna and you feel his presence and you realize that what's going on in your life are not mere coincidence, happenstance, chance, it is all by design and it is all from above. V'yadata: study, contemplate, think about, and know. And where does this knowledge have to be placed? Knowledge normally is associated with the head. Knowledge, thoughtfulness comes in the brain, the head. But this is a different kind of knowledge, and the pasuk says—we sing in Aleinu, Va'etchanan, our parsha says. Where's this knowledge? Veyadata hayom vehashevosa, place it where? El levavecha. Because the farthest distance between any two points in the world is the distance between our head and our heart. There are so many things that we know upstairs. Don't eat that! And don't sit all day! And don't get too little sleep! Don't say that! Don't look at that! And yet, it doesn't filter down from the head to get to the heart. It's the farthest distance. And that's why the Torah tells us and we remind ourselves daily in Aleinu, Veyadata hayom, know that there's a God, and where does that knowledge have to exist? Where is that knowledge have to be placed? Vehashevosa el levavecha, put it in your heart. And what's the knowledge? כי השם הוא האלוקים. There's a God, He was, He is, He will be. It takes more faith to be an atheist than to be a believer that He knows us and loves us. He's watching us, and He is choreographing our lives. Hu bashamayim mima'al, He is above us, ve'al ha'aretz mitachas, and He is on the earth below. Ein od, there is no one but Him, there is no one but Him. But says Rebbe Aharon Karliner, read the pasuk differently, that if in fact you're successful in knowing that there's a God and putting it in your heart, then ein od. You will not need anything more. Ein od, you lack nothing. That's how you read the pasuk. That's how you sing the davenning. Ein od doesn't mean that there's no other God. Ein od is not as in ein od milvado, although that's also true that there is no one and nothing other than God, He is everything. But that's not what ein od means. Says Rebbe Aharon Karliner, ein od means there is nothing, you don't need anything else. You don't lack, you don't crave, you don't need. If you put God in your heart, then work hard. Work hard, be driven professionally in your career. Work hard, be driven in your physical health, wellbeing. Work hard, be driven in your relationships. Whatever goal you set for yourself, work hard, but ein od. We lack for nothing. There is nothing more. There's nothing else. There's nothing else other than veyadata hayom, knowing and putting in your heart there's a God and He loves us and the joy, the gratitude of giving Him nachas ruach we just spoke about in our Mesillas Yesharim shiur. So I want to begin before we dive back into the Be-yam-der-che-cha, Be-yam-der-che-cha, to tell you a couple stories from the summer. I love to share the emunah stories because nothing is as powerful as living it. And I want to share the emunah stories, one where it worked out and one where it didn't, but both of them are emunah. Because we don't only live with emunah, you know I've spoken about a million times, my family WhatsApp group after several summers ago learning something with my daughter and how Rav Moshe and Rav Yaakov said you need to keep a hashgacha pratis diary. So we created a WhatsApp group internally, our own nuclear family, where we record and my children do it, it's a beautiful thing whenever something works out that we say thank you Hashem, hashgacha pratis, divine providence, it worked out. So my wife thought I was crazy the other day because after this story happened to us, I went and recorded this on that group for my children and it wasn't the typical traditional classic hashgacha pratis story where this almost happened and then thank God it all worked out, thank you Hashem. There was that too where on our long flight out to the West, we, my wife and I, were in a row of three seats, all three people were in it. The third person, their TV didn't work, they asked to be switched, they did, we ended up having an empty seat for the two of us. Thank you Hashem, what a wonderful turn of events. Not enormous, but every little thing to acknowledge God even in the little things. Thank you Hashem, nothing's coincidental, nothing's chance, it's all from above. On a different flight, on the flight back, I had a seltzer can sitting on the tray of the airplane and my briefcase was open beneath it. Thank God my laptop was on the tray on a different tray and in some movement that occurred, let's just say in shuffling in and out of those seats at times of the flight, I don't know who, I'll take responsibility, knocked over the seltzer can, turned entirely upside down and spilled the entire full can in the bottom of my briefcase. There was a puddle, the entire can of seltzer in my briefcase that had technology, some papers and was a briefcase that I valued and now it was filled with seltzer. And my first instinct was to lose my cool, to get bent out of shape. My first instinct was to get angry and rage, how'd this happen and why'd that person have to move right now and why was I asked to shift and why was this sitting on the tray and nobody had had it to drink? And then I calmed myself, I said, whoa, Goldberg, Wednesday mornings living with emunah, you talk, you teach, you preach, you learn, you study, you encourage others. Take a deep breath, relax and realize hashgacha pratis. For whatever reason Hashem wanted that seltzer can on the bottom of my briefcase and my wife and I had to turn the briefcase over and it literally poured out into a cup, drain it, try to soak, try to squeeze and try to dry and baruch Hashem everything was fine, it was no big deal. And you know what? If I would have been angry it would have ruined the flight, ruined the vacation, would have created conflict, would have lost my calm and cool. And instead, living with emunah, everything's from Hashem. And when we landed I recorded on, for my kids on that WhatsApp group, listen to this thing, the can was there, it was hashgacha pratis, I love You Hashem, thank You Hashem. She said, what are you doing? That wasn't a good story, it didn't work out. I said, it always works out. We don't only record the stories where it worked out in our favor, the whole notion, the whole idea is it's always working out in our favor. That's what bittel is, nullifying, relinquishing. surrendering, submitting is the recognition that God, I'm not in charge, You are. And that whatever happened, something I wasn't in control of, it was by design, it wasn't by accident, it wasn't random. There was a reason it happened, there's something I was meant to experience, gain, learn, it happened for a reason. Whether I appreciate it, whether I like it, or whether it was uncomfortable. I actually was incredibly grateful it wasn't a Diet Coke, it wasn't some soda that would have stained and become sticky and would have been smelly. It was seltzer. It was seltzer, it was fine. My briefcase took a car wash. It was a beautiful and wonderful thing. Second story. Second story. We went for a hike, my wife and I, one of the days that we were out there, a wonderful, magnificent hike. If you've never been to Phelps Lake in the Grand Teton National Park, you must go, among the other magnificent things there are to see. Anyway, it is up in the National Park. We took an Uber to be able to get there and we got up the dirt road and into the park and at the Rockefeller Preserve in order to be able to begin this hike. We spent many, many hours on this magnificent hike to the lake, around the lake, sitting at the lake, a little hisbodedus. We've talked a lot about that many times. Just sit, we don't have to talk to each other, we're talking to God, just experiencing, just experiencing. No noise because we want to hear God's playlist. Want to hear the ripple of the lake, want to hear the leaves, want to hear the birds chirping, want to hear the natural sounds all around. God has an amazing playlist and most of the time we don't hear it because we're creating artificial noise. So we had an amazing time. We came back after many, many, many hours and went on my phone to order an Uber. Problem. Deep into the National Park there were no Uber drivers local, there were no Ubers coming to get us. Uber was unresponsive. Called the taxi we knew in Jackson, Wyoming. Taxi wasn't answering, no taxis available. We are stranded in the park. Happened to be a lot of signs about bears and being careful about bears and wasn't sure exactly what to do. Saw a couple coming out of the park and heading to their car and asked them, do you happen to know a taxi, do we know someone we could call? And they said, we're happy to drive you out of the park. Now, these were very normal, wonderful looking people, safe looking people, was not very concerned. They were there on vacation as well from Texas. You could see that by all their gear and swag was Texas, University of Texas. Turns out actually he's a professor, University of Texas. Anyway, we get in the car, he's driving us out. We said, just drive us to civilization, we'll get an Uber from there. You're so kind, so gracious, thank you so much, nothing more necessary. Said, well, we're going to Jackson, if you want a ride to Jackson. We said, we're going to Jackson, thank you so much, we really appreciated it, so helpful. They said, where are you staying? We told them the hotel we were staying at. They said, we're at the same hotel. So not only were people in the right place at the right time, not only were they kind and generous and gracious and willing to take us, they were in the exact same hotel as us. Thank you Hashem, hashgacha pratis. They took us back, it was amazing and we had a great, generous conversation about antisemitism on the campus of University of Texas. Wonderful, wonderful non-Jewish people and it was great to have met them. And in the off chance that they're listening, they're not, thank you very much. Back to B'yam Darechecha. Bittel. Please continue to share with me your living with emunah stories. I love to read them and I love to share them because it takes all that we're learning in principle and turns it into practice. Avodas habittel, if you're following inside B'yam Darechecha, Rav Itche Meir Morgenstern, chapter on bittel, we're on page nun bais. Avodas habittel, the work, the effort, the service, the exercise of submitting and surrendering, להיכנס להשגת והרגשת אחדות ויחוד הבורא. To get to a place and a feeling of the achdus, the unity and the singularity of God. דהיינו להכיר בביהירות שאין עוד מלבדו כלל. To live with a clarity there is no one, there is nothing but Him. Now by the way, we could just be grateful to that couple that gave us the ride, right place, right time, generous, thank you for taking us, thank you for not kidnapping and killing us, feeding us to the bears, thank you for taking us all the way back to the hotel. But then we would ignore the fact that who put them there in that moment at that time? Who made us come out of the park exactly when we came out? Who made them come out? Who made us at the same hotel? It was all from above. אין עוד מלבדו להכיר בביהירות. To recognize with clarity, with true clarity, שאין עוד מלבדו כלל. There is no one, there is nothing but Him. We're living in a matrix. He is programming, designing, He's organizing, orchestrating all of it. אין שום מציאות בלעדו יתברך שמו. We are an illusion, we are a figment of God's imagination. We have initiative, He designed a world in which we think and we feel like on that matrix that we're making choices and that we take initiative, but He is behind the scenes designing it all. וכל הנבראים חיים מאורו. And all that exists, exists as an extension of His light. We only exist because He allows us to, because He imagines us. We exist because He wills our existence. והוא הפועל בהם כגרזן ביד החוצב. Like an axe in the hand of the chopper. God is controlling the whole world. We are an extension of Him. So we're stuck in traffic, or the plane, the flight worked out, or the seltzer can tipped over, the person gave us the ride, whatever is going on in our lives, it is from Him. And this is not asking a lot of us, as we've shared countless, countless, countless times in all of this, in this whole class, as you see from my seltzer story, I still need this, is all about realizing that living with emunah is not a great gift to God. It's not a sacrifice we make for God. It improves drastically and dramatically our quality of life. It can measurably change our physical health, spiritual health, emotional health, when we can temper our anger, our anxiety, our envy because we realize it's all him. Don't, don't lose your cool. Don't get angry. Don't sabotage relationships, don't sabotage vacations, don't sabotage happiness, realize it's all from above. וצריך שזה יתבאר אצל האדם עד שיגיע למצב שמרוב ההכרה וההרגשה הברורה במציאות הבורא ויחודו לא ירגיש את מציאותו עצמו אלא רק את מציאות הבורא יתברך שמו. To live with such a clarity, to live with such a knowledge, to live with such a mindfulness that we're not confused or conflicted. We don't even have an awareness of our own existence. We spoke about before the summer, Rabbi Itche Mayer pointed out in a footnote that we know we relate to this. We've been in the presence of greatness, of great people, of brilliant people, of accomplished people, that while we were nervous and tittering, while we were in their presence, we forgot we existed. In that moment, we weren't hungry, we weren't tired, we didn't have to go to the bathroom, we didn't remember our own name. There was no me, there was no I. In that moment, in that presence, in that greatness, there just is that greatness. I blend in, I'm absorbed into it. I have no I awareness, no ego awareness. I'm just in the presence of a great person, a great thing, of a great natural scene, of a great natural event, and there is no sense of I. We're totally oblivious to it. So just like we experience that when it comes to other forms of greatness, we can live with that awareness always, with that clarity that there is Hashem, there is God, and therefore bitul, I submit, I am absorbed, I surrender into him. There is no me independent of him. There is only him. That is all that exists. It's a very high level. It's a lofty level, it's a difficult level, it's an ambitious effort, but it's possible. It's doable. There are those people, we know them. They are righteous, tzaddikim and tzidkaniyot, men and women who live such lives. So that when the seltzer can spills, they don't even, not for a moment, not for a moment. I told the story the last class before the, before we took our summer break, that I was in a bagel shop and a waitress was bumped into and spilled hot coffee on the arm of a dear friend of mine, and he didn't yell, he didn't scream, he didn't embarrass her. All he raised his arm as the steam was coming off of it, and he said, and he said, Gam zu letovah, gam zu letovah. So we're capable, what I admire that friend, that awareness, that presence of mind, that ability to regulate himself. He didn't scream ouch, he didn't embarrass her, he didn't yell at her. He said Gam zu letovah. So we can live with that clarity, behirut, such a clarity, such a mindfulness, such an awareness that all that we experience and integrate, from the spilled can of seltzer, to getting the ride, to whatever else works out or doesn't work out, that ein od milvado, there is no one and nothing but him. It is all from him, it is all from above. There's no me, there's no my ego, my honor, what I want, my, the way I wanted it to work out. ואדם כזה חי בתענוג עצום, and a person who lives with this lives with an enormous pleasure. יותר מגמול עלי אמו וטוב לו כל זמן כי הוא חי את האמת שהכל זה רק השם יתברך. This person is tapping into the greatest pleasure as we've been saying. Let's picture for a moment life without this. If there's no God, there's no meaning, there's no purpose, there's no order to the universe. Everything's random and everything's chance. Everything is on you and you are responsible for every consequence. What kind of a life is that? Bitterness, anger, resentment, jealousy, arrogance. What kind of a life is that? Tension and uneasiness. What kind of a life? You can let it all go. Let it all go. Smile because it'll work out. We'll get there or we won't. It's all the way it's meant to be. Chai et ha'emet, to live the truth, we're tapping into the truth שהכל רק הקדוש ברוך הוא, everything's from Hashem. Vechol avodato, and all of our effort, all of our work, all of our relationship נעשית מתוך לב אמת להשם יתברך. A truthful and a genuine heart, a genuine and a deep desire to cling and to connect to Hashem. That's our mission, that's our mandate, that's what we're trying to do, that's the life we're trying to live. That's bitul. That's bitul. Dveikus is clinging to God. I exist and the I is attaching to him. Bitul is, I am so aware of his presence. He is so larger than life, he is so great, there is no room for me. The me is just totally nullified and surrendered, it's bitul in the presence of the him. He writes in the footnote Rabbi Itche Mayer, וזוכה שכל מחשבתו תהיה רק על הבורא. And we'll merit that all of our thoughts will be only on God, the creator, וכל רצונו יהיה רק לגלות כבודו ויחודו. When we live this way, by the way, and we see Him everywhere, you know how many times I've told this story about getting the ride in the Grand Teton National Park, Phelps Lake? Because when one feels God is involved and invested in their life, when one has a story to tell about can you believe the way God made it work out? Can you believe what God did for me? Can you believe it? So when that happened, when that happens, then you want to tell the story to everybody because you're so excited, it's all you could think about. God is involved in my life, he's invested in my life, he's making things work out in my life. I met with a couple today, I'm doing a wedding soon please God, it's not the first wedding for either of them and I asked them how they met and they said, they said it was good fortune their job was moved from some place to down here. I said that wasn't your job, that was God moved your job so you could meet the other person. They actually had a dating app where they had set the parameters based on a mileage where they lived and then when the job changed and they moved down here the app automatically updated the mileage distance circumference that would determine possible matches and because it updated they found each other. So God's your shadchan, God's your shadchan. There's so many components to that story that had they not worked out you wouldn't have met: moving the job, the reason you had to be in a certain city, the app, forgetting to change the setting so the GPS would determine the coordinates in terms of the possible matches based on the mileage, there are a lot of moving factors in that story. It's all God, it's all God. And when you feel that and when you recognize that and when you're aware of it, you can't stop thinking about it and you just want to tell others about it. ובכל מעשה תפלתו ועבודתו הוא מרגיש רק כמרכבה לגלות השם יתברך. And in all of our davening and in all of our service to Hashem, our avoda, we feel I'm a chariot. I'm a chariot, I'm a vehicle for Hashem. Hashem exists and we have a great relationship and I just want to tell the world. I want to be the conduit, I want to be the catalyst, I want to be the vehicle through the instrument through which the world connects to him. כי רק את זה הוא רואה וחי ומרגיש. That's all you see, that's all you live, that's all you feel. ואדם כזה זוכה להרגיש השראת השכינה עליו. And a person like that merits to feel the divine presence. כי אין השכינה שורה אלא על דבר הבטל מלפניו. God can only dwell if He's not competing with another. When the other appreciates Him, if God is competing, He's not going to compete. He goes home, He doesn't need to compete. He's so great, He doesn't need to compete. God doesn't compete, God doesn't compete. So the more that we nullify and submit and surrender, the more we recognize we're in the presence of that greatness, I don't even need to exist, the more of His presence we'll feel. And the more that we feel I need to advance myself, I need to remind the world who I am, I need to nourish and feed my sense of self, then God says, sounds like you got it covered, you're good to go, I'll just take a step back, I'll let you have your space. כי כיון שהוא מכיר בכך שהכל זה אור השם יתברך אזי הוא נעשה מקום אמיתי להשם יתברך להתגלות בו. We can become the chariot, we become the kli, we become the vessel through which God expresses Himself in this world. בלי שיהיה מי שיסתיר את האור בעצם מציאותו. With nothing that is a barrier, nothing blocking, nothing filtering the light of Hashem. Hashem is that divine light in this world and we are meant to be the prism through which He expresses that light, through which He expresses that light. So that is our our mission. דהיינו כיון שהוא מבוטל להשם יתברך באמת ואינו מיחס לעצמו את מעשיו אזי השם יתברך יכול להרבות לו את התגלות אורו יותר ויותר. If we're acting as a proper prism and we are filtering and spreading that light everywhere, He will pour more light in. The more light He pours in, the more we will filter and spread it out. So if we want to be zocheh, if we want to merit to feel His light, if we want to be enlightened, we want to feel His presence and we want to see His light, then promise and pledge to be that prism, that filter, to share that light, to spread it with the whole world. בלי חשש שהנברא יטה לייחס לעצמו את האור וייפול לגאווה. So a person will never think oh I am the source of the light. I am just reflecting the light, I am the prism of the light. I'm not the source of the light, I am just meriting, I am just privileged to be able to share and spread the light. וזוהי התכלית האמיתית של הבריאה ושלימות טובתם של הנבראים. This is the reality of the world, ein od milvado. It's an illusion that we think anything exists or that we exist. We are all extensions of Him. שהנבראים יכירו וישיגו את מציאות השם יתברך באמת. We are meant to absorb and acknowledge the truth of His existence and to be that merkava, to be that kli, to be that vessel, to be that instrument, to be that vehicle and to share it and spread it and teach it to the world. להיות לו דירה בתחתונים. That we are meant to be His ambassadors, His agents, His spokespeople, we are meant to be His publicists here in this world, in this—not because He has an ego, God forbid, chas v'shalom, but the more people who merit to receive it and get it, the more that they'll benefit too. So what comes out is that when we're mevatel ourselves, when we practice bittul, when we submit and surrender and nullify. when we have no ego and id, when we realize it's all God, ein od milvado, we'll merit more of God. We'll see and feel his presence greater, we'll have the relief, the tranquility, we'll be able to have the serenity, we'll be able to have the peace of mind, we'll be able to have the gift of his providence if we pledge and promise that we are faithfully going to serve him and be that vehicle to share and spread his message outwards. So thank you for joining us again with Living with Emuna. It's great to be back together. All of our shiurim are back following Yom Tov and we'll be back in person, a hybrid model, we will both be learning in person as well as streaming professionally. Very excited to be able to offer that following the Yom Tov, until then we remain here on this YouTube channel. Please subscribe, please consider sponsoring a future episode of Living with Emuna. It's very easy, you can go to brsonline.org/donate, brsonline.org/donate and in one place you can choose the date, put in the language and make the payment to sponsor a future class. Thank you for considering it. Join us Tuesdays for Parsha Perspectives, Wednesday mornings for ten minutes of meaning, Mesillas Yesharim followed by Living with Emuna. Friday afternoons for Return Friday into Erev Shabbos. You can find it all on podcasts, on YouTube, rabbiefraimgoldberg.org, yutorah.org and more. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
