Transcript
Good morning Boker Tov and welcome back to our weekly Living with Emuna essentially our support group our gathering to remind ourselves what should be obvious and known by now which is that there's a creator that there's a God that we have a father in heaven who loves us that he is involved and invested in our lives each and every day that we should be grateful to him talk to him cling to him connect with him ask him and feel the support of him. I want to thank our generous sponsors for the year Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Schanzer. Thank you so much for your generosity thank you for your sponsorship it is so deeply and profoundly appreciated. As you know this week we are running a campaign non-BRS members who enjoy our classes our writings our posts our panels our programs our conversations to please give back to show that support that participation be part of an online global community of learners. We need your help we need your support in order to be able to continue to do what we do in order to continue to be able to expand it and provide it and inspire others. And so very very simply put if you enjoy this class please show it. If you enjoy the class go to brsonline.org/global brsonline.org/global. If you're watching on the campaign page you could hit donate during the class it won't take you away from the class. If not after we're done learning please go on brsonline.org/global in honor in memory in tribute anonymously with your name do your part and show your appreciation for the benefit that you get if any which I assume you get otherwise you wouldn't be back here this morning. If you're coming back hopefully it's because it's meaning it's doing something for you. Okay we go back to our learning. We are learning Rav Itamar Morgenstern's wonderful sefer Bayam Darechecha and we're learning about dveykus the quality of clinging and sticking and attaching ourselves to Hashem. That is what we're trying to do attach ourselves to realize that not wandering in this world on our own we're not trying to make sense of it or figure it out it's not random or chance. Everything is by design Hakadosh Baruch Hu the Almighty is pulling the strings everything there's meaning and there's order and therefore why worry why panic why fear. Was talking to people who are scheduled to get their second vaccine on Monday but all weekend there was some nervousness nervousness what if I get a cold what if I get sick what if something happens what if they run out and I said what's with what if what's with all the what ifs. How is that going to change the outcome. All the concern all the fear all the anxiety all the worry will that influence the outcome. If there was something you could do about it if there was something you could change if it would actually impact an outcome maybe I would understand why you'd waste the emotional energy and the physical energy and compromise your health to worry. But it doesn't change an outcome it doesn't create or impact or influence any reality so why waste the energy why compromise your health why not say Hashem if Hashem wants me to get this second vaccine then it's going to work then there won't be a problem with my getting it. Why not recognize please God I'll stay healthy and well and qualify and they'll have ample supply. And it's just one example of so many in our lives in which we expend so many energy and we waste so much fear for things that never happen that never come true. And even if they do it's the way it was meant to be. It's by design it's from Hashem it is what is right. I want to share with you you are avid listeners I shouldn't just call it a listener because it's not a passive class I gain and I learn from you each one of you that shares a story or an impact or an emuna thought an emuna strength it strengthens me. So I got a great email and it says the following I want to share with you the following emuna story. My wife asked me to take an important piece of mail downstairs to send out for her. We live in a condo building in LA and have an outgoing mail slot in the mail room. Right across from that is the monthly dues drop box. I went downstairs was on my phone and not paying attention. I put the letter in the mail slot and realized it got stuck. I turned to push it all the way down and realized my mistake I had put the letter in the dues drop box instead of the outgoing mail. Thank God I was easily able to pull the letter out since it was still only halfway in. I really felt in that moment that Hashem was looking out for me. I then went into the garage to get into my car to go to work and pull the door it didn't open and I realized my wife had borrowed my key earlier in the day and I didn't take it back. I had to go all the way back upstairs to get it but thanks for listening to emuna shiurim I recognized that this too was the hand of Hashem for whatever reason he wanted and needed me to go back upstairs. I didn't get angry or impatient I didn't blame anyone or anything else I realized it was the way it was supposed to be. And the reason I love this story and the reason I thank the person who sent it in is it has both of the forms of hashgacha pratis. It has both of the examples of emuna that we teach and preach and we try to live regularly namely when things go right to credit and recognize and stop and thank and acknowledge Hashem. Hashem the thing could have fallen all the way down in the wrong mail slot then I would have had to try to find someone to open it to retrieve it I would have paid my dues with some mail I was trying to send someone else the mail would have never gotten to them my dues would have never been paid. And look, *Hashem*, you made the mail get stuck, and even though that would have otherwise been annoying, it was exactly what was right and it was perfect for me. Getting stuck is exactly what I needed. So, *Hashem*, I feel your presence; thank you. But also equally, there was something annoying that happened, and we don't just see and acknowledge and identify and thank *Hashem* when all goes right. We don't just thank him when it turns out okay, when we can make sense of it, but we acknowledge and we see and we thank and we identify *Hashem* even when I don't know why it had to work out that way. It was annoying; it was frustrating; and even that too was meant to be. So someone didn't give me back my key, and I had to go all the way back upstairs, and it took me a few more minutes, and it took me a little bit more time. So he said without the *emunah*, without the effort of *deveikus*, without the mindfulness of trying to remember that there's a plan, there's a reason, everything that happens is by design, he would have gotten frustrated, would have lost his cool. His blood pressure would have risen; his pulse would have increased; his health would have declined. He would have encountered his wife and yelled at her: "You didn't give me back the key! You never returned the key! When you don't replace the key, I had to come back upstairs and it made me late and it was so annoying and don't ever do that again!" Instead, he took a deep breath and he said: "I don't know why, but for whatever reason, *Hashem* intended me to go back upstairs before I left today." So I love that story. Another listener sent me a story last night about—she's on our *Chevra Kadisha*, a wonderful, wonderful person and a beautiful volunteer for our *Chevra Kadisha*, who was supposed to do a *taharah*, and last minute that *taharah* got cancelled because a different *Chevra Kadisha* took on that *taharah*. But then she got called for another *taharah*, and it turned out her friend, who had told her about her sick mother—her mother whose health was in decline had passed away, and the *taharah* she was cancelled from participating in, the next *taharah* she was able to do because the first one was cancelled, was for the mother of her friend, which was so meaningful to her. Everything is by design. If you just extend your antenna, and if you just pick up the signal, and if you just live life looking around, you will feel and see *Hashem* everywhere. The question is not whether he's speaking to us and broadcasting to us; the only question is: are we picking up his signal? Do we thank him? Are we even frustrated but recognize it's from him? Do we attach ourselves to him? Do we lean on him? And do we express gratitude to him? And do we even protest or object to him when there are things that are not happening the way we want or the way we wish? And so that is the impact. The reason I share these stories is not just because people tune into *divrei Torah* and to *shiurim* and *drashos* for the stories—not for the *divrei Torah*, unfortunately—but I share the stories because they are illustrations. They take the ideas that we're learning in abstract and theory conceptually, and when people are sharing in real life how practically it has enhanced their lives, hopefully it inspires you and me to execute and to put it into practice as well. Okay, we're on page *tzadi vav* in *biur derech hachaim* in the wonderful *sefer* of *Rav Itamar Morgenstern* in which he is elaborating on *deveikus* and how we can acquire it, how we can grow in it, how we can improve in it, and how we can live it. הנה בודאי שאי אפשר לאדם רגיל שלא להסיח דעתו בכלל. Again, the goal, the aspiration of *deveikus* is to constantly have an awareness of God. We spoke about last week, and frankly every week, just like I have an awareness if I'm a parent. Those who want to be parents should be blessed to have healthy children. If you are a parent, there is this awareness, either in the forefront of your mind or in the back of your mind, but there is a regular awareness that I'm a parent. I'm thinking about my child; I'm worried about my child. I said last week, you're only as happy as your least happy child, and one of my dear friends, one of our listeners, reminded me that that's not a good thing to say, especially if you have unhappy children, because then they feel guilty for compromising your happiness. So if children ever hear that you're only as happy as your least happy child and they identify themselves as the least happy child, they'll blame themselves for your not being happy, which maybe they should, but it's not a nice thing to do. So don't ever say that expression in front of your children. Don't ever say that expression in general. They, our children, only make us happy ever. If you have children and they're healthy, you should be happy no matter what challenges they are presenting. So if you are a parent, you don't ever take a recess, you don't ever take a break, you're never suspended from your identity as a parent. And the same is true in marriage, and the same is true as an *eved Hashem*. If you're practicing *deveikus* and you're clinging to God, you're never on break, you're never on recess, you're never on vacation from that profile, from that identity, from that club, even though it's not possible. That's what he's acknowledging here, *Rav Itamar Morgenstern*, that it's not possible שלא להסיח דעתו כלל. It's not possible to never not be thinking about God. There are activities during our day. If you are supposed to be sitting opposite your spouse and having a meaningful conversation and your spouse looks at you and says: "Hello? Are you there? This thing on? Hello? Is anyone listening?" And you say: "Ooh, I was just in a moment of *hisbodedus*. I'm so sorry. I was just meditating about God. I was thinking about how much I love him or how involved he is in my life or how much I want to cling to him." So your spouse says: "You can pay the bill and meet me at home because I'm out of here. You want to be on a date with God or you want to be out to coffee with me? You got a choice." So there are activities that we do if you're supposed to be doing an activity that takes concentration. So the surgeon in the operating room can't Imagine the nurse or the assistant says, "Doctor, you okay?" And the doctor says as they're operating with the scalpel, the robot, "Yes, it's just that at this moment I feel overwhelmed by God is the Rofeh Cholim in the Siddur snippets we're up to the statement he's Boray Refuos, he is the creator of all healing and the inventor and the entrepreneur of all medical progress and discovery." We spoke about it last night in Siddur snippets, such a beautiful, beautiful statement and description the Boray Refuos. He is the creator... so the doctor in the middle of surgery, the mind is wandering because he's the Boray Refuos and the nurse or the assistant or the patient will sit up on the operating table and say, "Hey doc, would you mind thinking about God later and concentrate on what we're doing here?" So there are things that we're doing during the day. It could be surgery, could be a conversation, it could be the pilot flying the plane. Don't go on autopilot and talk to God, there are things that need your attention, nobly need your attention. They deserve your attention. They're dangerous without your attention. כי רק צדיק גמור יכול להצליח בזה. Only a truly righteous, perfect person, of which there are none, could really be thinking about God 24/7 every moment every day all of life. אבל כל עובד השם יתברך יכול להשתדל, but it doesn't mean that we can't all try. Surely we have to interrupt, there are going to be activities and there are going to be moments in our lives where we need to in a very justified way interrupt our mindfulness in that moment of concentrating most directly and focused on God, but that doesn't mean that it's something we can't aspire for. It doesn't mean it's something we can't be trying to ambitiously achieve שלא יעבור עליו איזה עניין ביום שלא חשב בו על השם יתברך. There should not be any meaningful activity during your day in which you have not thought about Hashem. This is a theme we come back to over and over and over again. And I'm so sorry to keep coming back to these themes, but that's what every recovery meeting is about and this is a meeting. We are addicted to forgetting God and we are trying to work on that addiction about forgetting God and if you've ever been to a recovery meeting you know it follows the same formula and you recite the same statements and that's what gives the chizuk, that's what gives the strength in order to be able to make those changes. So every activity we do should be accompanied by a momentary mindfulness meditation about God and a prayer and a davening to him for him on the way into that operating room, on the way into that courtroom, on the way into that kitchen or the gym or the supermarket, on the way into the parent-teacher conference, on the way into whatever activity, say Hashem, come with me, come in the room with me, be with me, assist me, or feel the pain with me. Let's say there's a parent-teacher conference. Are you allowed to say this? I don't want to hurt or be insensitive to the children who don't have positive parent-teacher conferences, but there's no such thing today. Yocheved says all the time when we were kids we would shiver the night of parent-teacher conferences, we were so afraid for our parents to come home afterwards. Now teachers shake the night of parent-teacher conferences. The teachers are so worried about the parents they're going to come in and blame the teacher everything they're doing wrong, why my student isn't thriving and everything that could be better. So you say Hashem, this is your kid too. Come into the room. Nu, let's get a report from the teacher. Hopefully a lot of nachas, maybe some challenges, but do you pause on the way into parent-teacher conferences and say Hashem, this is your kid too? Come into the room with me. So is Hashem invited and involved in every conversation, activity, effort that we have? Before the Emuna shiur, before the Beiros Online global campaign in which we have named a goal and we're only a quarter of the way through because unfortunately there are people who benefit, listen, learn, and love and have not yet, they will, I'm confident, but they have not yet expressed it to us in any tangible, meaningful way. So I say Hashem, I've been davening a lot for this campaign partially because this money would help us teach a lot of Torah and in all honesty partially because I'm competitive and I don't like to fail at a project or a goal that we set. So it's been very hard for me. So I daven to Hashem. Hashem, this money is to help spread your message. This money is to help inspire others with your vision and blueprint for your world. Help us Hashem, help us. You're one of the ambassadors Hashem, you need to show us the money, make it rain. Beirosonline.org/global. Whatever we're doing, we have to involve him, invite him, invest in him, and ask him to be able to help us achieve our goal in whatever is we're doing. I'll never forget sitting with a pastor, an evangelical pastor, and we were planning an effort, we were very concerned about something having to do with Israel and it was a work we were collaborating on, meeting with an elected leader and some other things on this campaign. And we were unsure exactly what to do and the evangelical leader stopped and he said, "Rabbi, let's take a moment and pray on it. Let's think about it, let's pray on it and let's ask God to give us the wisdom and the insight to know what to do." And I remember kind of looking around like, "Excuse me? Let's pray on it? I daven Shachris and Mincha is not for a couple hours. So right now I'm at work. Praying is what I do in the morning and then I'll come back to it at Mincha, but right now we're in a meeting and we don't pray in the middle of meetings." And he taught me such an important lesson: we should pray in the middle of. middle and before and after every meeting. Right, this is an apolitical shiur, so we're making no comment on impeachment hearings, but we'll make a comment on Trump's observant lawyer, lawyer who lit up the internet yesterday because in the middle of Senate or wherever it is he made the decision not to wear his yarmulke, he normally wears a yarmulke, but he had to take a sip of water. And if you saw he put his hand over his head and he took a sip of water and Twitter trended and lit up wondering does Trump's lawyer feel that his head is going to fall off if he doesn't hold it while he drinks. People didn't understand why was he holding his head while he drinks, is his head going to fall off. And the answer is you know what he was doing? Even in the middle of one of the most high profile court cases of all time, he instinctively or hopefully mindfully said, I'm going to take a sip of water, I've got to thank God. He meant to make a bracha. He had to wear a yarmulke. It was fascinating. Major networks all talking about the Jewish practice of covering your head when you make a blessing. Fascinating. Again, leave out the purpose of the trial, leave out the politics of it, but simply the image or the conversation that's happening around the United States about the notion of a yarmulke or of making a blessing. So we do pray all the time in the middle of our day. Each and every time we eat something, each and every time we come out of the bathroom, when we do a mitzvah during the day, if you take challah in your kitchen, and so on and so forth. But that idea that we were frustrated by something and we're trying to make a decision and we said, let's pray on it. And I learned something. This evangelical preacher had no hesitation, unapologetically was ready to not only express his faith but to practice it. To say, he was practicing dveikus. He gave me a lesson on dveikus. You don't just talk to God at Shacharis and again at Mincha. You talk to God when you run into a challenge. You talk to God when you're running late to the meeting, when you're stuck in traffic. Talk to God when your Wi-Fi is breaking down and you're interviewing someone who is a candidate for Prime Minister of Israel. You talk to God when you're running late and you're not sure you've prepared for the shiur adequately. You talk to God when you're trying to figure out how to work on advocacy for Israel and you don't know the next move, so you stop and you pray on it. Imagine if we told our children, let's daven on it. Let's daven on it. We don't know what to do for winter break. We don't know what's going to happen with this pandemic and Pesach and the ability to see our grandparents. Let's daven. Let's take a moment. Everyone stop, close your eyes, and let's ask Hashem. Let's daven on it. Imagine the impact of that dveikus, of that practice of living with faith in that moment. That davening is not relegated to the siddur or davening times, but davening is, as we've said many times, the Belzer Insight, הלוואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום כולו, halevai we would daven the whole day. Not from a siddur or Tehillim, not being in shul, but halevai we would daven the whole day means that whatever activity we're doing it would be preceded by our asking Hashem for help. Let the kocho come out. Let the trial come out. Let the operation come out. Let the dvar Torah come out. Let whatever it is we're working on come out successfully. שלא יעבור עליו איזה עניין ביום שלא חשב על השם יתברך. וכגון בכל סעודה ובכל דרך שהולך יחשוב על השם יתברך וידבר עמו וידבק בו לפחות פעם אחת. Just like every meal I have I have to invite Hashem to be a guest at that table. Even for a moment. Even the way I begin the meal, I make a bracha. Okay everybody, המוציא לחם מן הארץ, now we can talk. Now we can shmooze. Tell me about your day. Tell me about school. Tell me what's happening in your life. But first we invited Hashem, come, pull up a seat at the table. ברוך אתה השם אלוקינו מלך העולם בורא פרי הארץ. Baruch Hashem shehakol. Hopefully you're having steak for dinner so you made a good shehakol. You stayed away from the carbs all week long so there's no Hamotzi. But a good steak, a good shehakol. You can have the most satisfying meal with a shehakol and a borei nefashos. Steak and grilled onions and delicious diet peach Snapple. Shehakol and a borei nefashos. You're full protein, good way to go. You didn't know you get the diet and health tips from the Living with Emunah shiur too. So you invite God to the table. You make this bracha. And you say, God, nu, come, pull up a seat. You're part of the family. Come. We're about to go around, everyone's going to talk about their day. We're going to talk about the news. We're going to talk about the stock market or sports or the Super Bowl. We're going to talk about whatever we're going to talk about. Come, pull up a seat. Come, pull up a seat. So at least once during the meal you're inviting Him to pull up a seat and that's called the bracha. That's called the bracha. When we sit down at the dinner table and my children are already on their third bite and I say, what are you doing? They say what are you talking about? I say I wanted the amen. You made a bracha. I know you made the bracha. I have faith you made the bracha. But you swallowed the bracha as quickly as you swallowed the pasta. I wanted to be able to answer the amen. Say it out loud. Imagine if the meal would begin with people saying their bracha out loud and a bracha is essentially an invitation. Hashem, You're in my life. Come, pull up a chair. Join us for dinner. By the way, we're not going to gossip or talk about the rabbi or the principal or the teacher if God's sitting at the table. Could you imagine if you had the tzadekes or the tzaddik, if you had the talmid chacham or the Rosh Yeshiva, the rebbetzin sitting at the table, are you really going to then talk about the friend or share that juicy gossip? So it also helps if you invite God to the table, you'll be much more discerning and judicious in the type of things that we talk about. But I'm not saying the whole meal and Rabbi Shamai is not saying the entire meal talk about God. That's not the meals we're going to have. The most righteous people in the world don't have such meals and it's not realistic and it's not what's real demanded of us. It's not what's right for us. We should connect with one another. We have to shoot the breeze on small talk, דברים של מה בכך. There's nothing small about small talk. It's very important to connect with others. However, at least once during the meal we should invite him, acknowledge him. We take a moment, we acknowledge our guest here at our table, his name is God, he created us and he has expectations of us and he gives us everything that we have and we're so happy he's joined us for dinner and for lunch and for breakfast and that he lives in our home. We're so happy because he pays for the whole home. He pays for everything in the home. So we're so happy he's here with us this evening. Thank you God. Now you can go on with your meal. Now you can go on with dinner. וכל שכן בכל לימוד ותפילה. Imagine every time you daven, every time you learn something you say, God we're going to now learn something more about your vision for your world and we're going to try to be transformed and changed by it. Utzarich lehadgish, and we have to place an emphasis, שצריך ללכת בזה לאט לאט, you have to go slowly, incrementally, carefully. ויעסוק בהשקעה קבועה של זמן מסוים ולאט לאט יעלה עוד ועוד. Climb. If you walk into the gym, I think I gave this example last week. If you walk into the gym for the very first time in your life and you say, you know what? What's the heaviest weight you have? I'm going to bench press that. So you lie on the bench press table and you take the heaviest weight in the gym and they load it up on all sides and you say, I got it, I'm good, I'm naturally very strong. And now you try to bench press the heaviest weight in the table. You know what's going to happen? It will crush your ribs, collapse your lungs, you may not make it out of the gym alive. And spiritually if you try to lift the heaviest thing and you're not ready, it will collapse your spiritual lungs, you won't be able to breathe, and you may not spiritually make it out alive. Do not skip steps. Do not jump too quickly. Do not go incrementally or strategically. You have to take your time, add on slowly, make designated times of the day. And that was the homework I gave you last week, to decide when is it? In the car you're going to think about God? Before you drive and say, Hashem, let me get to my destination, let me be safe, let me not get a ticket, let everything go well? When is the moment? In the kitchen before everything you cook? When is the moment that you're going to invite God and start adding him to your life and your lifestyle? Not all at once, not all day, and not every day, but where are the slots that I'm going to add him so that I can incrementally more and more add and build up the weights and build up the weights. Okay, next section. Os zayin in dveikus, we continue. והנה בשביל להצליח לחשוב בדביקות השם יתברך, and in order to succeed in thinking about God and connecting to God, צריך לדעת לשוטט הרבה מיני מחשבות והרגשות. A person has to allow their mind to wander, a person's mind has to have the capacity to feel multiple feelings. If you're so fixated and you're so zoned in and you're so in a mold that you can only think about or feel one thing, then you're not going to succeed. Because life is a roller coaster. There are ups and downs and life changes and feelings change. אם ישאר במחשבה אחת לא יצליח להחזיק בה הרבה זמן. Because if you stick or hold to one thought, you will not be there for a long time. אלא צריך חיות במחשבות והרגשות. You need to be energized, you need to be alive, you need to be excited. You need things that are going to generate excitement in your relationship with Hashem. Renewal, new things that you're adding. I got a new siddur with a new layout of the davening, or I have a new class that I listen to, or I have a new practice that I do. דהיינו שפעם ירגיש אהבה ופעם יראה פעם יתבונן באמונה. Says Rabbi Shamai, you got to mix it up. So sometimes I focus on my sense of love of God. God is my Father in heaven and I feel His love. He loves me and I love Him. Last Shabbos in shul, I spoke about we all have the enduring image of Har Sinai of receiving the Torah. Last week's parshas yisro, that Hashem held the mountain over our head and He threatened us. Accept my Torah and if not I drop it on your head and you all die. Sham tehei kevuraschem. But that's a very dramatic image and one minyan I actually said, wake any Jewish child in the middle of the night and ask them, what was Har Sinai like? And this little kid says, I know what it's like! I said, what was it like? And he say, he held the mountain over our head! And it wasn't even like I set him up for it, I didn't give the kid a candy, I didn't bribe him, but it was exactly it. And to me that's very sad that all children think about religion as being hit over the head with it. Threatened by it. Ultimatum. Be religious, have a relationship with me, otherwise you're dead, you're gone, you're out. But there's an alternative midrash in the מכילתא דרבי ישמעאל, it's not nearly as popular and we don't teach it as often and I'm not suggesting we don't teach the other one too. We need to teach our children and ourselves that there is accountability, responsibility, expectations. Absolutely, there is no—this is not negotiable and it's not an optional relationship with you have with God. He has expectations of us, there are laws of Judaism. But there is a beautiful complementing midrash, the מכילתא דרבי ישמעאל, that says it was incredibly hot in the desert. We came into— the desert after leaving Egypt and it was unbearably, unbearably hot. History Channel had an episode trying to predict or trying to guess how hot it must have been, said it was minimally 120 degrees with intense high percent of humidity. So you can imagine God looks down and he sees two to three million of his children baking in the sun, schvitzing and sweltering and passing out as they're waiting for this great Har Sinai Matan Torah experience to begin. And so says the Mechilta d'Rabbi Yishmael, you know what God did? He lifted up the mountain and he held it over their head and he said, nu, come here kids, come get some shade. Come get some relief. Come, it's air conditioned. Come, there's some shade, come find some safety and some refuge. Come find some comfort, because religion is a place that you find comfort and refuge and safety. Does he have expectations of us? Absolutely. But you know, if you hold it over one's head, if you beat someone over the head, threaten over the head, you're gonna drive them away. But if you say come, you know when the temperature's rising in your life and your temperature's rising out there, temperature's rising in politics and pandemic, temperature's rising in the threats to Israel and to Jews everywhere, anti-Semitism, when there's enough problems when the temperature is rising from the world out there, Hashem says nu come, open my siddur Tehillim, come talk to me, come lie with me, come feel my support. Come to my shul or my beis medrash. Come to my mitzvos. Har Sinai is not just something to beat over the head, Har Sinai is a place to find refuge and comfort and peace and serenity, to find relief in a world where the temperature is rising and threatening us. I mentioned in the drasha that I had a meeting last week in which someone shared with me, without criticism of the shul for having our rules of distancing and masks in which we're very vigilant in demanding compliance obviously with the dangers of this of this virus, but he described that for him it's very hard to come back to shul because the negative associations he has when there's such supervision. We have our volunteer and professional security who walk around and make sure people's masks are over their nose and their mouth and he said for him they trigger such trauma because this individual shared with me and gave me permission then to share when I asked about the drasha, that when he was a child, if he was five minutes late to shul on Shabbos, his stepfather beat him and beat him so bad that twice on Shabbos he had to go to the hospital because of the beating he took for being late to shul. And so for him, he associates rules, supervision, demands about religion as beating. His stepfather took davening to Hashem and beat him over the head literally not figuratively. Many of us have been the victims or beat our children figuratively hopefully, only verbally or emotionally about religion, but it's not the way to go. We have to lead such rich and inspired religious lives that they want to come under the mountain. We have to show them that it's so hot out there. Why would you choose to stand in the heat? It's so hot out there, like my in-laws who went back to New York and then sent pictures of three feet of snow. So why would you leave here? Did you see the sunrise minyan we had on Friday? Do you know how magnificent, they're on their way back don't worry. Do you see how beautiful it is? Why'd you leave? So we have to show our children and all around us why you standing in the heat? Why you baking in the sun? Come, come, come under this mountain called Torah. Come under this mountain called emuna. Come under the shade of our relationship with Hashem. There's such comfort, there's such relief. It doesn't mean that it's not hot. It doesn't mean all our problems go away, but Hashem wants us to come close to him and connect with him and cling to him and feel dveykus with him because of the relief that it provides us, because of what it provides us. So sometimes it's going to be a feeling of ahava. Sometimes we're going to concentrate on a feeling of ahava. I love Hashem and he loves me, he loves me. This has been a hard year and everyone's doing their best and we've had to adjust even our religious life and practices. Rabbis are getting together before every holiday and reimagining how do you make sure that every Jew wants to hear Megilla, can hear Megilla. I don't even want to start thinking about Pesach yet. Pesach we didn't have last year. Pesach kind of was on hold last year. Pesach people had sedarim all by themselves, there was no davening, shuls everywhere were shut down. We've had to reimagine religion. And so Hashem loves us. Yes, could we do better, should we aspire for more, should we push ourselves 100 percent? But this is a year we should know that Hashem loves us and Hashem loves us. He's not beating us up with the mountain, he's holding it over our head to protect us from the sun or like an umbrella to protect us from the rain. He's lifted the mountain with the image not only of threatening us but the image also of loving us and supporting us. So sometimes the moments are of ahava. But other times the moments are going to be of yira. You can't cozy up too much. You can't get too close. You can't become too casual. Oh, God, he's my best friend, so he doesn't care if I don't do what he says. Oh, God, he's my best friend, so he doesn't mind that I took this week off from Shabbos or kosher or tzedaka or lashon hara. He's my best friend, he doesn't care. No, he's not your best friend, he's God. Does he love you? 100 percent. But he's still God. He's the omnipotent creator of the universe who holds us accountable, there's a process of s'char v'onesh. Wow, there's a creator. Wow, that's magnificent. Wow, I'm not here alone. Wow, he created the universe. So Rav Itshmayer says that we don't lock ourselves in or fixate to one thought or one emotion or one connection, but it fluctuates in different feelings, on different days, with different things going on in our lives, things will inform or inspire the nature of that connection, the nature of that relationship, and we have to be able to adjust. If you're the kind of person who's such a creature of habit you can't adjust. No, no, no, I only ahava. No, no, no, I only can think about God in the paradigm of yira, then you're going to struggle. A person needs to be able to adjust and to be able to think about God in those in those different ways. We'll pick up with it next week but again I ask you, I ask you, if you enjoy this class, our other classes, our writings, our posts, if you enjoy the values and the vision of BRS and you're not a member doing your part, then please show your gratitude. brsonline.org/global brsonline.org/global please take a moment as well to subscribe to our YouTube channel and become notified of all of our shiurim panels conversations programs in real time. Such as tonight, 9 o'clock we're going behind the Bima with the candidate for prime minister Naftali Bennett who the news is all showing is the kingpin is the is going to be the great influencer to determine how the coalition's going to line up in Israel's fourth election in two years. Naftali Bennett, a member of Knesset, former minister, defense minister, tonight 9:00 PM we're going behind the Bima with him, you don't want to miss it, I promise you it's an incredible it will be an incredible conversation. 9:00 PM behind the Bima. Do your part, brsonline.org/global. Looking forward to seeing you all next time. Until then, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
