Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov, welcome back to Living with Emunah, our weekly study and our weekly review and our weekly reminder and our weekly support group that we don't live in this world independently and isolated, that we're not alone, we're not in charge, we're not in control, but rather that there is a God, Ribbono Shel Olam Almighty, that He loves us and that we love Him, that we are engaged in a relationship, a meaningful relationship, hopefully and please God that we are constantly working on and growing closer towards and spending time and improving communication and so on and so forth. I want to thank our generous sponsors for the Emunah series for the year, Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of my dear friend Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, zichrono l'vracha, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Shanser, zichrono l'vracha. Thank you for that generosity. And today our particular class is sponsored as well by the Ross children in honor of the birthday of their mother Alice Ross, אלטר רבקה בת חיה דינה, wishing her a year of health and happiness, a year of nachas and simcha, a great year of only wonderful things. If you'd like to sponsor a future class, please be in touch with Lee at BRSOnline.org, Lee at BRSOnline.org. We continue to study this wonderful sefer, B'Yom Darechecha, Rav Itamar Morgenstern, who has been leading us on the path towards deveikus. We've been studying about the quality of how to cling to the Almighty, how to stick with Him, how to know that He has a plan, how to believe that everything is for a reason, that nothing is random or chance or happenstance, but everything happens for a reason in our lives and we're meant to feel Him in our lives. But before I go back to our text, I ran out of time yesterday in the Parsha class and I mentioned we're going to mention something from the Parsha in the Emunah class because it is so intertwined with Emunah, whether you're listening to this Parshas Shemos or some other time in the year, it's worth paying close attention. So I want to start with that. In our Parsha, Moshe, we don't need to review his whole story of his birth and his being raised in the palace and his intervening and interfering in an incident that takes place out of the palace having to flee and run for his life and go to Midian. He comes to Midian and he meets at the well and the pasuk says, ולכהן מדין שבע בנות. To the high priest of Midian there were seven daughters. ותבאנה ותדלנה ותמלאנה את הרהטים להשקות צאן אביהן. They had come to the well, all these men using their daughters as shepherds, really very progressive and advanced at the time. Anyway, these women are at the well. Vayavo ha-ro-im vay'garshum. But the male shepherds came and hashtag MeToo for the female shepherds, the men were abusive and inappropriate and incorrect. We had an important program last night about not tolerating abuse within our community and in our homes and marriage. And they come and Vayakom Moshe. Moshe stands up. ויושען וישק את צאנם. Moshe again has this attribute. Moshe's wonderful quality is not his brilliance, it's not his righteousness, it's not his humility. Moshe has of course all these qualities in earnest, but the reason he's chosen, the reason he's so beloved by the Almighty Himself is because he has empathy. Because he sees people suffering and he seeks to relieve their suffering and pain. Because he cannot stand idly by and watch the suffering of others. And whether it's Jew hitting Jew or Egyptian hitting Jew or Midianites who are taking advantage of these women. ותבאנה אל רעואל אביהן ויאמר מדוע מהרתן בא היום. So these young women come home early that day and he says to them, my dear shepherdess daughters, an expression probably not used that often in history, my dear shepherdess daughters, what are you doing home so early today? ותאמרנה איש מצרי הצילנו מיד הרעים. They said, there was an Egyptian man who saved us, the shepherds, they were attacking us, they were abusing us, they were violent against us, and this Egyptian man stood up, he defended us, he intervened on our behalf. וגם דלה דלה לנו, and he even was able to draw water from the well for us and for your flock. Vayashke et ha-tzon. ויאמר אל בנתיו ואיו למה זה עזבתן את האיש קראן לו ויאכל לחם. This hero, this man who stood up and did that for you, where is he? Let's at least give him a meal, let's at least take care of him, where is he, bring him home. The Medrash Tanchuma says something amazing. ותאמרנה איש מצרי הצילנו. Again, whether you're listening to this, this Parsha, which is worthwhile giving you a d'var Torah on the Parsha, or some other Parsha, I know not everybody loves listening to Living with Emunah in order or started when we did. But listen carefully. Moshe's being described as an Ish Mitzri. Moshe's being described as an Egyptian man. Is that accurate? Is that fair? Is that really an accurate depiction? וכי בדמות איש מצרי היה משה? Moshe's not walking like an Egyptian. אלא אלו לא איש מצרי שהרג משה לא היה נכנס למדין. So the Medrash, thank you Linda for smiling, it's so hard to teach on Zoom, I can't take this anymore, to stream online, you can't see people, nobody laughs at you, either because you were funny or because they have pity and you're just left laughing by yourself. That's really wearing off at the end of a year of this. So thank you my dear Linda. So the Medrash says, Moshe, does he dress, is he acting, does he look like an Egyptian, that that's what we compare him to? So no. Who is this Ish Mitzri? The Ish Mitzri that Moshe killed who was attacking a Jew. And the Medrash then quotes a story. So says Rav Druck in the Sefer Esh Tamid, you see that when the daughters of Yisro returned to Yisro and they see an Egyptian man saved us from the shepherds and the Medrash wonders what an Egyptian man? What are you describing Moshe as an Egyptian man? Has there ever been a Jew like Moshe? Moshe is super Jew. Moshe is the greatest Jew that ever lived. That's not me saying that. It's one of the Rambam, one of the Maimonides 13 principles of faith is that we're supposed to believe and think and say every day that Moshe is super Jew. That's a paraphrase of the Rambam, but that Moshe is the greatest Jew that ever lived. So this greatest Jew that ever lived we're calling an Ish Mitzri? We're calling him an Egyptian man? What? So the Medrash explains that the daughters of Yisro were saying to Moshe, יישר כח שהצלתנו מיד הרועים. They turned to Moshe and they said, "Wow, thank you. How could we ever repay you? We are so indebted to you. You saved us from these harassing shepherds, these abusive shepherds." And you know what Moshe turned to them and said? Moshe turned to them and said, "It wasn't me." So what do you mean it wasn't you? We were being harassed and abused and you stepped up and you stepped in and you stopped it. What do you mean it wasn't you? So Moshe turns to them and he says, "It's not me. אותו המצרי שהרגתי הוא הציל אתכם. The Egyptian who was abusive to a Jew back in Egypt, he is the one who saved your life." What do you mean he saved your life? He's dead, he's gone, he himself was abusive, it was in Egypt, we're in Midian. What are you talking about Moshe? So Moshe says, "You know why I'm here? I never would have been here. Why was I at the well? How was I in a position to step in and to save you? Only because there was an Egyptian abusive man in Egypt and that set off a string of events that I needed to step up and stand up to him and then I needed to flee for my life and that brought me to Midian and that placed me at the well and that's why I'm here. So don't thank me, thank him, thank the Egyptian man." It's a totally different way of looking at the Pasuk. When you read this Pasuk, when you read this Parsha, Ish Mitzri, just gloss over it. The girls go home, their father says, "What are you doing home early today?" They say, "Look, there was an incident at the well, we're filing a police report, we were harassed by this group of shepherds, and this Egyptian man, he stepped up and he saved us." And we read that and we say to ourselves, "Yeah, Moshe just immigrated from Egypt so they called him an Egyptian man." Says the Medrash, Moshe is not saying Moshe is not the Egyptian man, how could we refer to him that way? And then the Medrash quotes a story. What's the story? משל לאחד שנשכו ערוד ורץ להתיז רגלו לתוך המים. A person was once bit by a snake, bit by a scorpion and poison entered his leg, so he ran to the water in order to immediately clean out and sterilize the wound. Venichnas b'nahar, and he dips his leg into the river and he sees a baby, a child that's drowning in the river and he saves the child. The child says, "Had you not been here, if you didn't save me I surely would have died." The newspapers come and the headlines, the stories go viral about this heroic man who reaches into the water and saves this young child's life. And you know what the man says? אמר לו לא אני הצלתיך. I didn't save you. You know who saved you? The snake. The snake that bit me saved your life. The snake that bit me saved your life? Yeah, had the snake not bit me I wouldn't have run to the water, if I never ran to the water I never would have seen you and I never would have been able to reach in and save your life. And what's the moral of the story, my dear Wednesday morning Emunah friends? The moral of the story is that we have no idea how the world is orchestrated and why events and things happen the way they do. Sometimes in retrospect we get to look back, sometimes we get to see and interpret and understand why things needed to happen the way they did. So the man as he was limping and running to the water to save his life and remove the poison was likely wondering "Woe is me and why me?" Maybe he was cursing God, he was certainly cursing the snake and he was wondering, why do I have to endure this horrific snake bite? But when he got to the water and he realized because someone needed to save this child and being bit by a snake was a small price to pay to be able to save the child and he says to the child, "It's not me. I didn't save you, the snake did." And in our own lives as we live our life and we don't understand, why did I have to lose that job? And why did I have to have this incident with that person? And why did the magazine have to call me a monster on the cover? And why did whatever have to happen the way it happened? And we think, why was it that way? Who knows? Who knows what it leads to, what it causes, who knows what the events that it kicks into motion? Sometimes we learn why, but many other times we have no clue, many other times we don't know. Vidvarim noraim lemisbonen, says Rav Druck, how wondrous. משה רבינו שטרף פסוקין את עצמו להצלת בנות יתרו לא ייחס לעצמו מעשה הצלת בנות יתרו מהרועים אלא ייחס כל הטובה לאותו מצרי שהרג. When the girls credit Moshe, when the young women credit Moshe, Moshe doesn't take the credit. Moshe doesn't say, "Let me pose for the camera, I'm a hero, I'm not saying I'm not a hero, you know, okay maybe I'm a hero." Moshe says, "Me? I honestly don't even know what you're talking about. It's the Egyptian. The only reason I'm here." It's because of the Egyptian. שבזכות שהרגו את המצרי שסיבב שצריך לברוח ממצרים ועל ידי זה הגיע למדין ויכול הוא להצילם ולכך אמר לבנות יתרו אין לכם על מה להודות. Don't thank me, thank God. Thank that Egyptian. What a powerful message for Moshe. Because the truth is that that Egyptian in Egypt that Moshe's referring to, he killed someone, he struck someone. So what do you mean thank the Egyptian? So obviously Moshe doesn't mean thank the Egyptian or credit the Egyptian. The Egyptian himself was abusive. The Egyptian himself harassed. The Egyptian himself is no righteous tzaddik. He didn't mean thank the Egyptian, what he meant is thank God for who knows when that Egyptian man did what he did, what it would lead and what it would cause. And there are Egyptian men in our lives. There are the people who've done horrific things to us or to others. And it doesn't mean we should be grateful for it or welcome it. It doesn't mean it's something that we should appreciate or want. We're allowed to feel pain, we're allowed to look back at our life with regret and we're allowed to do what we need to do to protect ourselves or to hold others accountable. But what we always have to do, and the emunah lesson for all of us is what we must always do is understand that nothing's random and nothing is chance. And even when it's the actions of others for which we need to hold them accountable, they could not do what they did if it weren't the will of Hashem. Now why would our Father in heaven will for us to be hurt? It's a difficult, difficult, difficult question. And one we're not trying to hide from, but one we're not addressing today. The point for today is that we need to understand that even, even when things seem to be hurtful, even when they're painful, even when we don't understand why, we need to know with confidence they are orchestrated from above. As Josh writes here in the comments, chassid bechol ma'asav. Hashem is a בעל חסד בכל מעשיו, in all that he does there's chesed. He is the choreographer, he's curating, he's organizing, he's pulling the strings from above and it must be so complicated. That's why he's God and he's infinite. That's why he's omnipotent and perfect and we're pathetic because God is able to move all the chess pieces simultaneously. Millions and billions of people and this one's actions will launch this string of events and the butterfly effect where a butterfly flaps its wings in Indonesia and creates a hurricane in the middle of Europe. And there's a butterfly effect that takes place in this world which is organized and orchestrated from above from Hashem. Moshe lived with that consciousness. Moshe lives with that mindfulness. Moshe lives with that awareness. And here we are studying the middah, the character trait of deveikus, that's deveikus. Deveikus is that when you're thanked for doing something you say me? I don't know what you're talking about. I'm only at the well because of what happened in Egypt. Don't thank me, thank the Egyptian. Thank a cruel Egyptian who struck a man? Yeah, because had he not done that, I never would have had to run and flee, I'd never be here, I never could intervene, I can never do what I'm doing right now. That is the level of mindfulness and conscientiousness, of presence that we're supposed to have. והנה זה לעומת זה עשה אלוקים לעומת פרעה שלא ידע את יוסף. And this is a contrast, says Rav Druck in our parsha. I want to go back to Rav Itche Meir, but this is a contrast between Moshe Rabbeinu and Paroh. What happens in our parsha, what leads to the bondage and slavery, what launches the oppression and persecution is vayakam melech chadash אשר לא ידע את יוסף, who does not know Yosef, who doesn't remember what Yosef had done, who's not makir tov, who doesn't live life with gratitude and appreciation, but does the opposite. He's an ingrate. He causes himself to forget that Yosef saved the economy of Egypt. He causes himself to forget that Yaakov blessed the Nile and that's why they are a blessed country. He lives with ingratitude, not gratitude and Moshe's whole life the opposite. Moshe's entire life is characterized by gratitude. Don't thank me, thank the one above who orchestrated all the circumstances that placed me here. And that's why the Midrash tells us that there are ten names, and I don't want to belabor this point though there's so much more to say. There are ten names for Moshe. Moshe has ten names. But what is the one we call him? Moshe. By the way, one of the names was given by the Almighty, by the Ribbono Shel Olam and yet we don't use that name either. We don't use the name that his mother and father gave him. We don't use the name that God gave him. What name do we universally use for Moshe? You probably don't even know the other nine names, that's how much we use this name. Who gave him the name Moshe? Where'd he get that name? Moshe was given by a Gentile woman, by a princess, Bisyah bas Paroh, the daughter of Paroh. Mispronounces Basya, really Bisya is her name. Bisya, the daughter of Paroh gave that name Moshe and that's the name we use. Why? Why is that the name we use? So Rav Druck points out, many have said, because what does the word Moshe mean? Min hamayim meshisihu. From the water he was drawn. Who drew him out of the water? Who saved his life? Who was the one who saved the savior of the Jewish people? It was the daughter of Paroh. So we use in gratitude to her, in recognition of her, in appreciation and acknowledgment of her, we use the name that she gave, the name Moshe. Our lives are meant to be characterized by gratitude and appreciation. To look around and to live our life and to realize That what's happening is happening for a reason even if we don't understand it, that the things that have happened, even sometimes as painful as difficult as they may be, have placed us in this place in this circumstance to be able to live our lives. And Shabbos I saw somebody who was very down, very depressed. I said to him, "What's the matter? What's wrong?" And though he went through a period of denial, he then came to a place of acceptance about the results of the presidential election of which I am absolutely not commenting on today or ever. You all know my position on rabbis not getting involved in politics or endorsing candidates in public. Why am I sharing it with you? Because this is a very religious righteous person, a person with a lot of emuna and I said to him, "What are you down about? Yeah, you're disappointed. I got it. You're disappointed. But harbe shluchim lamakom. Don't you think He has a master plan? Do you think that this result could be different or violate the will of the Almighty? Where's your faith? You're entitled to be disappointed. You could even be concerned with what will be." Again, I am not commenting, I'm reflecting his position. "You could be disappointed, you could even be concerned with what will be. But depressed and sad? Where's your emuna? Where's your dveykus? Where's your faith? Everything Hashem does, Hashem does for a reason and maybe only, only maybe in hindsight will we have the perspective to be able to understand or interpret or to see and to say thank God." But Moshe Rabbeinu right away, unlike the way we read it, ish mitzri, it's not an Egyptian man who saved them, Moshe is not the Egyptian man, but Moshe said to them, "Me? Don't thank me. I'm only here because of the actions of an Egyptian man." So who knows what actions are set in motion that launch and that lead to a chain of events that have an enormous impact? Back to our sefer, back to our sefer, רב איצ'ה מאיר מורגנשטרן Be'amdra'cha about how to acquire dveykus. How can we live with that level of consciousness and mindfulness? How can we be in such a place where wherever we are we're with God? We're never ever alone. He's in the room, He's holding us up, He's an arm around our shoulder. We feel His love, we love Him, we feel our accountability to Him. We cling to Him, we stick to Him, we know He's in charge, we know He's in control. We're never sad, we're never down, we're never out, even when we're disappointed because we know He's in the MRI machine or the CAT scan machine with us. He's with us when the doctor's going to give us result of the test, He's with us in the courtroom or the boardroom, He's with us in the kitchen, He's with us wherever we are in our lives. There's a sense of dveykus of clinging to Him. I'm never ever alone. Never ever alone. The other day I was driving my car and it was a very short drive but like everyone else, I shouldn't say this or admit this publicly, I reached for my phone, not because I was going to text, God forbid it's dangerous and terrible, but I was going to put on something to listen to for a moment. And then all of a sudden I like almost even threw my phone into the cup holder. Like, "What are you doing? You've got an opportunity to just have a conversation with God, to sit in silence, drive in silence, to talk and unburden yourself on Him." And that's what I said. I said, "Hey God, you know what, never mind, I don't need to listen to anything, let's shmooze." And then I had my conversation with Him about the things going on in my life, in the life of people around me I care very much about. We have the opportunity, dveykus. You're driving in the car, you're never ever alone. I don't know if that's enough to go in the carpool lane. If you get pulled over in the carpool lane can you say, "Officer, I practice dveykus. I'm not alone. I qualify for the carpool lane. It's not just me." I'm not sure that's going to get you out, so don't rely on that, but, but maybe if you were in earnest the officer would believe it and appreciate it because even when you're driving and there's only one physical person in the car, you're never ever alone. Dveykus, we are davuk, we are clinging to God, we are wherever we are. So Rav Itche Meir's been reminding us: what do we need to do to get to that level? It's a very high level and it's a difficult level, but we can aspire, we can stretch, we can reach. When the daughter of Paroh reached for Moshe floating in that basket in the river, he was too far away but the pasuk and Chazal expand and describe that she reached and then her arm was outstretched. Right? It's within even that which is beyond our reach is within our grasp, to quote the famous poet. Even that which is beyond our reach is within our grasp if we reach for it. There are people who've lost incredible amount of weight, there are people who've gotten off of substances, there are people who have addictions under control, there are people who've reinvented themselves because even that which feels beyond our reach is within our grasp when we stretch for it, when we reach for it. So the notion of living with this dveykus, it seems like it's impossible, inaccessible, we'll never be able to do it. It's within our grasp if we just reach for it, we can stretch and we can get there. What do we need? Number one, he taught us, is emuna. If you haven't spent time meditating, reflecting, studying, if you haven't spent time being misbonein, contemplating God's existence, then how you going to have a relationship with Him? If you don't get to know your spouse, your friend, your child, what kind of relationship will you have if you don't get to know them? Emuna is the process of getting to know them. Let me study, let me ask questions, let me in John Gottman's words, draw love maps. Let me be curious, let me date God and court God and get to know God, because you can't have any relationship in life if you don't get to know the person. Someone once gave me feedback about someone I had set up and said, "You know, thank you, but I think I'm not going to go out again." So what went wrong? What's the matter? They said, well, on the date, the entire time, they never asked me one question. They were very happy to share everything going on in their life. I know everything about them, but they never once over the course of the whole date turned and said, with curiosity, with wanting to know more, tell me more about about you. Tell me more about you. So therefore the person wasn't interested in continuing. Well God's like, I know everything about your life. Aren't you curious about me? God's like, we've been on this lifelong date with God, 30, 40, 60, 80 years of a date with God. And all that's happened on the date is we talk about us. And God's like, don't you want to get to know me? Don't you have any questions to get to know me? Don't you want to learn about and study and fall in love with me? So the first step says of Chovot HaLevavot is Emunah. You gotta study and think about, reflect and meditate about God. You gotta be curious about God. And how do you satisfy and scratch that curiosity about God? You have to learn. Read his diary, read his book. I mentioned to you last week, a dear friend whose father died young but he found these birthday cards his father gave him when he was a child. And when he saw in his father's own handwriting and script those messages, he connected to his father, he was brought to tears. We get to know God through his diary, study his Torah, learn his word. We also get to know God through his world. Study biology, chemistry, physics, go see the Grand Canyon, the Swiss Alps, the Golan, the Galil of Eretz Yisrael, the Dead Sea. And we get to know God through his creation and through his word, Emunah. Step number one to a life of deveikut, you can't cling to, you're not going to long for, you're not going to feel intimate connection with someone who you barely know, who may know everything about you, but you've been on a date where you never ask anything about him. So step number one: get to know God, ask about God, fall in love with God, connect God. Step number two we are in the middle of, which is, sorry, step number two was hisbonenus, be contemplative, be reflective, think about God. And step number three, you should listen, last week we had a beautiful evening put together by Rav Simcha Shapsay, the inner, what was it called, the Inner World of Chasidus. I spoke, Rabbi Reuben Brand of Chicago, and the great Rav Moshe Weinberger, the father of Neo-Chasidus it's called. He doesn't call it that, but others do. The Inner World of Chasidus. And we spoke about this. Hisbodedus, talking to God, clinging to God, a relationship with God. The Hungarian wine that Rav Weinberger spoke about. Once you've tasted the Hungarian wine, oh, there's no other wine that you'll be interested in. It's worth listening, you can find it on my YouTube page and watch and listen. It's really, just skip to Rabbi Brand and Rav Weinberger, but it's really worth listening to, Rav Weinberger's brilliant. So hisbonenus. You gotta set aside time to think. There's so much noise that's clogging our heads. We have no ability to think. We instinctively, just like I did, get in a car, have to turn something on to listen to, dial someone to talk to, because we can't tolerate being by ourselves and lost in our own thoughts and just thinking about God. You'll never fall in love with God and you'll never feel connected and close to God and you'll never have an intimate relationship with God if you don't come to know God. So number two was hisbonenus, set aside time to think. Number three is what we're finishing: Torah u'Tefillah. This major, major, major newsflash. You know what the newsflash is? You're allowed to think about God when you do a mitzvah. You're allowed to get close to God when you pray to him. We daven, check, davened. We do a mitzvah, check, I did my mitzvah. And we walk out of that experience, or we close that siddur, and we never even thought about God one moment. Or what we thought about is, did I say all the words? And we thought about, some neurotically, did I fulfill all the details of the mitzvah? But do we ever stop and say, this mitzvah is a means to connect to God? Are we mindful, and are we present, are we there when we understand that this is a relationship and I'm in a conversation? So continuing, וככל שמרבה בלימוד ברציפות ובהתמדה, the more that a person learns and knows God with continuity, with diligence, u'viyun u'deveikus, really exploring and analyzing, כך יעמיק לחיות במציאות הרוחנית. That is, you're going to live a spiritual plane. You're going to live in a spiritual level. כי כח אור התורה הוא כח עצום. The light of Torah, pshh, it's a powerful light. Those who've seen the light, you know we think that's other religions where the preachers get up and with a great rhyme, see the light, amen, can I get a hallelujah? I wish we had more of that. If you've ever been to AIPAC Policy Conference, please God we should get there again soon, and certain types of preachers get up and talk about their love of Israel, you can't help, you jump out of your chair, you're clapping, you're giving the hallelujah. We, like, you know, begging people if you don't mind could you stay awake for just like two minutes of my drasha? Try not to drool and fall off your chair while I'm speaking, if you don't mind, because the Chumash with your drool and we're in the middle of a pandemic and your mask, just try not to drool and fall asleep, right? That's our vision of what what religious life is like. But there's an Or HaTorah. They took it from us. We're the ones who originally have the, do you see the light, grab onto the light, turn on the light, illuminate your light, a little bit of light dispels a lot of darkness. I've been learning Tanya with Rabbi Tauger, and in the 12th perek of Tanya, the Alter Rebbe talks about that just like a dark room, a little bit of light... it dispels all the darkness, he says chochma dispels ksilus, it dispels foolishness. We have foolishness, our brains, our mind is filled with bad decisions and bad calculations and bad judgment and bad temptations and compulsive behavior. And the same way a little light can dispel a lot of darkness, a little wisdom, a little intelligence, a little bit of the head can overcome a lot of the heart, the wrong heart, can overcome a lot of foolishness. So that's what Rav Itche Meir says: Or HaTorah is a koach atzum. The light of Torah, the light of spirituality, the light of being enlightened. To be enlightened, not enlightened like the enlightenment as if I'm leaving all the past behind me, not the enlightenment as the rejection of our mesorah and Torah. But again that's our world. That's our mission. The goal is to become enlightened. I want to be enlightened, I want to wear a new pair of eyes, of goggles, of glasses where I see a world where מלא כל הארץ מלא כל הארץ כבודו. Hashem is everywhere. He's absolutely everywhere. He's in everything, He's in everyone, and He's in everything that happens to me. That's the goal. It's a koach atzum. When you've seen that light, when you had a glimpse of that light, and it's not a switch that once you turn it on, oh now you see the light the rest of your life. You can have days, you can have hours within those days, you can have periods where you see the light and you can have periods where you are stumbling and tripping in the dark. And the goal is to get back to the light. To see, to feel, to develop that relationship, to nurture it and to connect. והוא גם שורף את הרע שבאדם because when you see that light, it incinerates the bad in you. You start to say to yourself, I have a tzelem Elokim, there's a God in me. I hear God speaking in my own consciousness, in my own moral, in my own morality, in my own compass. I see and I feel God within me. And how can I, as the child of God, a prince or a princess, how can I, in a relationship and a love affair and an intimate connection with the One above, that's beneath me to act that way. It's pas nisht, that's not who I am. So when you see the light, when you connect with the One above, it's going to improve who you are and how you behave. שהרע הזה הוא המסתיר מהאדם את האור האלוקי. That negativity is a barrier to connecting to Hashem. That negativity is the block, it is what's creating the distance. How do you overcome it? A little bit of light. וגם מאיר את אור השם יתברך באור יקרות בתוך הלב. Turn on that light and see Hashem. We're tripping in the darkness. So many of us feel that we're in a dark place. We can rise above, we can tackle, we can turn on that light and we can see so far and we can see within us who we are and who we're capable of and we can see so many around us, so many around us. Turn on that light. How do you turn on the light? That's why we meet every Wednesday morning. You know it's not like it's not a switch someone can send you. There's no password, there's no app for it. It's hard work to turn on the light. Like every relationship takes nurturing, it takes time, it takes communication, it takes selflessness, it takes sacrifice. This relationship does too. But when you've turned on that light, when you're living in that place, when you're drunk and intoxicated on God, then your whole life changes. Your whole life changes. You find the comfort and the solace, you find the peace and the serenity, you live with the simchas hachaim and the menuchas hanefesh. You're able to see and feel God everywhere and you're able to get through anything because none of it rattles you. You're davuk, you cling to Him, He's everywhere. ואף שבתחילה קשה לאדם למצוא את האור even though at first it's hard to see the light and find the light and be part of the light and to absorb the light. אך כל שיתמיד בתורה but the more diligence that you have in looking for God, the more time you spend and the more devoted you are to finding and to seeing God. כך יתחיל להאיר לו האור והנועם העליון. Then you are going to begin to be enlightened and to be able to make contact with the upper, the holiest, the highest light. וככל מעט שזוכה אדם להרגיש את האור והנועם של תורה and the more that you diminish and the more that you minimize and the less that you feel the light and the pleasantness and the beauty and the love of Torah. סימן שהוא מצליח לבטל מעט מן המחיצות שמסתירות מהאדם את האור. Me'at shezocha adam, sorry, the little that you merit to feel the light, it's a siman, it's a sign that you're starting to succeed, you're starting to succeed. So see it, like Moshe Rabbeinu, Ish Mitzri. Understand what God did to orchestrate where you are. I cannot tell you how important it is again, I can't emphasize enough, you need a hashgacha pratis group with your family, with a friend, even a diary or journal you keep for yourself. The more that you record the incidents in your life where you feel that God was involved, the more you will see, the more you will feel, the more you will have the light, the more enlightened you will be and the more that you will want to cling. I'll give you another example. Again I try not to monopolize and I'm not trying to shine the light on me but happens to be I'm the one speaking so I'll share with you the examples. There was a bris in our community last Shabbos, a beautiful Shabbos bris and the mohel stayed with us, the great Rabbi Selmar. We have a guest room with a outdoor entrance and he is extraordinarily corona conscious as he should be he's a mohel. So he actually brought his own food stayed in a room ate there didn't come in the house and did his own thing so he could it's his first time going away for a bris on a Shabbos since he's done it. He is an amazing person. Big simcha. That's his motto that's his bumper sticker literally and that is his tagline. Big simcha. And he he lives life with big simcha lots of joy. So so Friday night he had to come in to get the food that was in the fridge to bring it out to his room where he ate he came in like a hazmat person to be able to get his food and to be able to go out. It happened to be the moment he walked in my son was sitting on my lap at the table we were going over the parsha. So motzei Shabbos when he left he said what a great Shabbos and my family who knows you and maybe listens to shiurim and gonna report the image that I saw they're gonna love it that I came in Friday night you were wearing your tishbekeshe your son was on your lap you were doing the parsha so beautifully. And when he walked out of the room I said Hakadosh Baruch Hu oh what a hashgacha pratis. The rest of the night he didn't see the kids fighting and yelling at each other and the house was a mess and the place was in disarray and everything was upside down and the whole thing was what was the image he saw what was the moment Hashem orchestrated that he came in to get the food the ten seconds that he came in to get the food and get out as fast as he could was the ten seconds that everything looked right. Hashem that's all you. He could have come in a minute earlier he could have come in a minute later and you would have had a very different image to share he came in that moment. So is that a coincidence? Is it random is it chance? Or is everything Hashem? Is everything Hashem? So this counts as putting it in the group because I never put it in my WhatsApp group so I know at least one of my kids is listening so that counts. So but that's the way we're supposed to live our lives. Every day pause and journal. You can leave a voice note in a WhatsApp group you can journal in something physical if your hands still knows how to write you can type in an app but every day spend a moment and reflect and say where was Hashem in my life today? In what way did I feel him? Where was he present? What did he orchestrate? What did he organize? Because only if we do that diligently only if we try to see the light will we become enlightened. Only when we feel the light will we crave more light. He writes in the footnote גדולה מעלת לימוד התורה שאף אם לא חושב ממש על השם יתברך בזמן הלימוד מכל מקום עצם התורה היא אור השם יתברך. The power of Torah learning is that of course the goal of Torah learning is to connect to Hashem. You're supposed to finish learning the Daf Yomi finish reading the parsha finish listening to the class and say how am I different as a result? How do I see God differently how do I feel God differently how is my relationship different with him because I did this daf or Nach Yomi or the halacha class or whatever it is I did. That's the goal of Torah learning is to bring us closer. However Torah is Torah is unique that when you learn Torah even if you didn't think about God it still transforms you. עצם התורה היא אור השם יתברך. You know why because Torah is the light of God. And when that light goes through you it's a light that purifies a light that cleanses ודבקותו בו נדבק נדבק בדרך ממילא מהשם יתברך. And the result is that you cling to God automatically even if you're not trying to even if you're not tapping into it it happens automatically because the special nature and the uniqueness of Torah. אולם בודאי עיקר אור התורה מתגלה כשלוומד במחשבה לדבוק בו בהשם יתברך. However of course the ultimate goal is to learn with Torah in a way that you're trying to see Hashem. The Mishna in Pirkei Avos says that among the 48 great things of Torah is Torah machsharto. Torah machsharto. What does the word machsharto so the Nefesh HaChaim Rav Chaim Volozhiner in his Ruach HaChaim his commentary in Pirkei Avos says you know what the word machsharto means? What's the root of the word machsharto? Lekasher. What does it mean lekasher something? If a person has a pot and it absorbed a non-kosher taste you kasher it. How do you kasher the pot? By purging it. You get the non-kosher taste out of the pot. How? By kashering it. So Torah machsharto. Our brain like the pot has absorbed a lot of non-kosher tastes. It has absorbed non-kosher ideas non-kosher images non-kosher thoughts non-kosher tastes. You kasher the pot with hot water or heat. How do you kasher your brain and your soul? With Torah. Torah machsharto. The Torah goes through us. You know some will say what's the point of learning Torah? It goes in one ear and it comes out the other. And I could tell you I relate to that. I was zoche to finish Shas I learned the last round of the Daf Yomi seven and a half years 2711 blatt. Yesterday was a hundred days into the new cycle. A hundred hundred days of Daf Yomi of the new cycle which is amazing. So a hundred days? No a year sorry 365 days. Yesterday was 365 days a year of the new cycle. Well what's the point? I already forgot half of the things in the 365 days. It's gone in one ear and out the other what's the point? You know what the point is? Because when the Torah goes in one ear and out the other it kashers what's in between in the meantime. It kashers your brain and your head in the meantime. You go through Shas you go through Torah and Torah goes through you and it has a kashering effect and that's what it means Torah machsharto the Torah kashers us. So even if in that moment you're not clinging to Hashem you're not connecting to him. the learning of Torah, Torah still has its impact. Torah still transforms, Torah still connects. So my dearest friends, by next week do your homework. If you haven't started that journal, that WhatsApp group, if you're not pausing in order to see Hashem, to take inventory of how he is involved in your life, you'll never cling to him, you'll never stick to him, you'll never feel close to him. Go on a good date with him where he's not just talking about you, but you're looking to learn, you're looking to learn and to connect to him. And the result will be a life of dveykus of clinging to him. We'll never be alone and we'll know that we have the strength and support to take on anything that comes our way. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy. 9:00 tonight, go on Behind the Bima. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel, and live your life with emunah. Have a great day.
