Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov and welcome back to Living with Emuna. So glad you're joining us again as we have our little support group to reinforce what we already know, which is that Hashem is involved in our life, not only involved, he's running our life, and that the more that we welcome him, the more we defer to him, the more that we have a relationship with him, the happier, the better, the healthier our lives get and we just need to reinforce that message to ourselves at least each and every Wednesday morning. I want to thank our generous sponsors for the year, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Schanzar. Thank you so much for your sponsorship, we don't take it for granted, truly appreciate it. Also want to thank this morning sponsor for the class this morning, Estee and Mike Lupin in the zchus of a refuah shleima for Estee's father, my friend אברהם חיים בן גיטל מאשא that he should have a speedy and a painless and a full refuah shleima, a speedy and a painless and a full recovery. If you would like to sponsor a future episode or shiur, you can contact Lee at brsonline.org, Lee at brsonline.org. Okay, good morning, we are back to this amazing sefer that we have begun called B'yam Darechecha, רב איטשע מאיר מארגנשטערן, a phenomenal sefer, and we've been studying the chapter on dveykus, the message of clinging to God, gluing ourselves to God, attaching ourselves to God, putting our destiny in the hands of God, and the more that we let go and let God, the more we realize we're not in control and we're not in charge. In fact, by forfeiting our control, submitting and surrendering, it's not that we become more unhappy, we find greater happiness. That doesn't mean that we don't take responsibility. We take extreme ownership of our lives. It doesn't mean we sit on the couch and expect a parnassa to flow in from heaven. It doesn't mean that we don't go to the doctor but miraculously expect to get better. We have to take our initiative. We have to do what we need to do, but after we've done it, we see the place of Hashem. We relate to, we submit, we surrender that he is in charge, that he is in control. I posted yesterday there was a map by the weather service of the tropical storm that hit us the other day that's now formed into a hurricane and apparently is coming back to Florida, north of us, but we of course pray for everyone to be healthy and well. And if you looked at that map, the spaghetti map, the strings, basically they were going in every single possible direction. They might as well have put out a message that says: "We know nothing. We can predict nothing. We know nothing. We're useless, we're worthless, and we just, we give up. We hereby retire, here's our resignation, thank you for having us." And I don't mean to rank on meteorologists or weather people, they're doing the best that they can, but between the pollsters who got it all wrong with the election and the weather people, meteorology people who can't tell us literally what direction a tropical storm is coming in, 2020 is the year of anavah, humility, and giving up control. 2020 is the year of surrendering to think that we know or we can anticipate or we can be in control. If anything, we have to submit and surrender to God with a great sense of anavah that Hashem, we don't know what you have planned for us next. We don't know what's coming next. This has been the most insane year and hopefully it doesn't even get more insane beyond this. And that shouldn't depress us, it should inspire us to realize that we take our initiative, that we do what we can, that we have to be responsible and take ownership in our own lives, but once we've done that, let go and let God. He's in charge, he's in control. We spoke about dveykus, this is the notion of knowing God is nochach, he's opposite us. And last time we spoke at length that the relationship with Hashem should be a relationship like a healthy marriage, a loving marriage, where you're not only have the status of being married when you're physically in the same room, you're married whenever and wherever you go, that you don't only think about the person while you're talking to them, you think about them throughout your day, what you want to communicate to them, what you want to share with them, how you want to experience life with them. The ideal marriage, the ideal relationship, and we sometimes forget that a relationship with God is like other relationships in our lives. It has ups and it has downs, it has closeness and it has distance, it has richness and longing and love, and it has times where we feel frustrated or disappointed. But like a healthiest marriage, it's not a relationship we only have when we're in shul, it's not a relationship we only have when we're listening to a class, it's not a relationship we only have when we're in the beis medrash, the study hall, the relationship with God permeates every aspect and every fiber of our being. It's with us whenever and wherever, it's with us at the gym, at work, in the supermarket, and at home, not just in holy places because we're davik, we're clinging, we glue, we attach, we stick ourselves to him, and then we feel his presence throughout our life and that enriches our life. It gives us a greater sense of confidence, of strength, of courage, of comfort, of peace, of serenity. And therefore the greatest beneficiary of a life of emuna, of a life of faith, is in fact ourselves. The one who achieved this, we spoke about it yesterday in the parsha shiur with Sarah Imeinu, our great matriarch Sarah. It describes kulum shavin letova, all a hundred and twenty-seven of her years of her life, they were all equal and defined for the good. What does that mean? Her life was riddled with challenges and problems. How can you possibly say it was for the good? good. Okay, picking up, we're in Os Gimmel. והנה הדבקות בהשם יתברך מבואר שהיא מצוה מדאורייתא. Now this notion that we're concentrating, that we're focusing, that we're developing, the mitzvah of deveikus, of clinging to God, of attaching ourselves to God, of gluing ourselves to God, it is actually a biblical commandment. We don't think of it as such. We think of it as I've got to hear the shofar, I've got to shake the lulav, I have to sit in the sukkah, I'm going to observe Shabbos, I have to keep kosher. But you know, the notion of also being in a relationship, a romantic, loving, intimate embrace of God is a mitzvah like those others. It doesn't manifest itself externally or physically, it doesn't manifest itself with any stimuli, but it's an internal, emotional connection. It's something that happens in our head and in our heart and most of all in our soul. Kimo shekasuv, and then how do I know this? It's from a posuk. Uvo sidbak, ulodovka bo, uvo sidbakun. It is repeated several times in several places in the Torah. There is a positive commandment, there is a mitzvah of deveikus, to attach ourselves, to cling to God. היא גם התכלית של כל התורה והמצוות שנתנה לנו. Now here listen carefully, it's not just that deveikus is another mitzvah in the Torah. It's not just that we have a positive commandment to think about God and to focus on God and to concentrate on God and to remember there's a God. It's that it is the essential mitzvah of the Torah. It is the core mitzvah, the central mitzvah. All the other mitzvos are there to reinforce that feeling, to cultivate that feeling, to promote that feeling. So it's not that the real mitzvah is I've got to take the lulav and put on the tfillin and light the candles and keep the Shabbos and keep the kosher and, oh yeah, by the way, don't forget occasionally remember there's a God. No, the whole essence of our life is to remember I'm in a relationship. It's not that I remember today is my oldest daughter's happy anniversary, Racheli and Mikey. You don't just feel you're in love, there's not just a romantic relationship on your anniversary. Every day is an anniversary. The anniversary is the day that there's an excuse and you don't have to wait until then to write a card, to give a gift, to watch the wedding video because why else did you spend all that money to produce it if you don't at least watch it once in a while, hint hint. So anyway, but that's not the only day that you're in love. You're in love the whole year, you're in love each and every day, you're in love all the time. So God, the mitzvah of uvo sidbakun, the mitzvah of uvo sidbak, that notion of devek, I'm clinging to God, I'm sticking to God, it's not like on our anniversary God, on Yom Kippur or on Shabbos I'll set aside some time or whenever. It's every day, it's every moment. I'm walking into the boardroom, the operating room, the courtroom, I'm walking into the kitchen, I'm walking into whatever room I'm walking into, I offer a tfillah, a prayer to God. God, you're coming with me. I need your help. God, tropical storm scheduled to hit. God, I've got to give a big speech, put the right words in my mouth. God, I have a difficult meeting. God, it's parent-teacher conferences, please let this go well, let me hear good things. God, whatever it is, you're walking in, He's coming in the room with us. Uvo sidbak, we're gluing ourselves to Him. So it's not just that it is another mitzvah. It's not an ordinary mitzvah, it's not a tangential mitzvah, it's not an also mitzvah. It is the essential mitzvah. The essential mitzvah is you're in a relationship. There's love, there's romance, there's connection, there's reliance, there's surrender. And then all the other mitzvos are there to promote and to cultivate it. כדי שכוחם נגיע לדבקות אמיתית באלוקות ונשיג ונחיה את השם יתברך. So for example, from the moment I wake up in the morning, modeh ani. Modeh ani reminds me that before I even get out of bed I say, thank you God. Wow, I woke up, I'm alive. How many didn't wake up? How many aren't alive? How many didn't wake up to good news? God, I'm alive, it's a miracle. My eyes work, my legs work, my arms work, my faculties work, still have the roof over my head, I still have the car to drive, I still have the job to go to, I still have breakfast to put in my mouth, I still have the same head count in my home as when I went to sleep. Thank you. Modeh ani lefanecha. I'm so grateful to you. And my last words at night, Shma and Hamapil, also the bookends that surround my day. I begin my day and I end my day with God. It's filled with the richness of life and living. It's filled with engaging and encountering the world, it's filled with relationships with other people. The relationship with Hashem is not exclusive of others, but it is the core essential relationship. And so then I davven and then I have to do whatever mitzvos I have to do and they're all there. Hashem says hi, mincha, it's the middle of the day, you're busy, now that the day is shorter because we changed the clock, mincha is never convenient, but remember me, don't forget about me, don't forget who's in charge, don't forget. Remember Me? Mincha! You're about to drink your nice hot cup of coffee, you're about to eat lunch, you're about to have your afternoon snack. Make a bracha. Hashem says, hey! You didn't check in. You didn't make a bid for connection. You didn't affirm to me that you know I'm here. A hundred brachos a day. Davening three times a day. The mitzvos throughout our day. It's not that dveikus is yet another one of the 613. dveikus is the whole goal. It is the core, it is the essence, and then the other mitzvos reinforce it. They reinforce it by time, with time-bound mitzvos that remind me. They reinforce it, oh, there was lightning, there was thunder, I gotta make a bracha. That's nature. Lightning is Hashem taking a picture of me. You know, thunder is Hashem reminding me He's here, He's in control. The brachos that we are obligated in are not to take away or distract from our lives, they are to actually recalibrate, refocus our lives, to remember what's most important and to welcome Him back into the conversation of our lives. Footnote. He says in the following footnote: וכמו שביאר הב"ח כוונתו יתברך שנהיה עוסקים בתורה כדי שתתעצם נשמתנו בעצמות ורוחניות וקדושת מקור מוצא התורה. The Bach goes so far as to say, this is why we learn Torah. The whole Torah learning, and certainly for Rav Chaim Volozhiner and for the school of thought Nefesh HaChaim and for the Gra, talmidei HaGra, the centrality of Torah learning, ותלמוד תורה כנגד כולם, the centrality and the measure of success in our lives by being occupied and engaged and involved in Torah learning. The reason Torah learning is so central is not because Torah is supposed to compete with God, it's that through Torah we discover and we learn about and we nourish and we reinforce that relationship with God. How tragic that some can learn an entire day and never talk about God. You could learn from early in the morning to late at night and you've gained a lot of information, you've downloaded a lot of facts, you've broken through with a lot of intellectual gymnastics and never ever talked about Hashem, never talked about the Ribono Shel Olam. What's lacking or missing in our Jewish education if you come out of your Judaic subjects and you don't talk about Hashem. Chumash is not just to memorize names and places and dates, Chumash is to see how Hashem was involved in the unfolding of that story, those narratives, how He's behind those laws. Navi is not just to memorize facts and dates and places, Navi is Hashem's guiding hand through nature. Mishna, Gemara, Halacha, this is Hashem's blueprint for the world. And so says the Bach, Torah shouldn't compete with our feeling close to God, Torah is our journey of discovering and loving God. What John Gottman talks about again in the world of relationships and marriage, that healthy marriages have to draw love maps. You have to date long deep into marriage. You have to keep having this curiosity and inquisitiveness. You have to want to come to know and to learn and to love even after you've been with that person for a long time. Torah is the love maps of Hashem, coming to learn to love God because to know Him is to love Him. וכמו שכתב החסיד בעל חובות הלבבות, Rabbeinu Bachya in his Chovos HaLevavos, Sha'ar Cheshbon HaNefesh writes, ראוי לך אחי שתבין כי רוב הענין במצוות שהם בגוף ובאיברים הוא להעיר על מצוות השנויות בלבבות ובמצפונים. Most of the mitzvos that are external and physical that we do with our arms and our legs, we build the sukkah, we shake the lulav, we blow the shofar, we put on the tefillin, we light the candles, we keep the Shabbos, we... most of the mitzvos that we do externally, physically with our body, they're all there in order to reinforce and to cultivate and to promote internal feelings. There's the external ma'aseh hamitzvah, Briskers would say, there's the ma'aseh hamitzvah externally, but there's the kiyum shebalev. There's the fulfillment in the heart. כי עליהם משען העבודה והם שורש התורה. The root, the core of Torah is the heart and the soul. So all the things that we're engaged and occupied in, all the external manifestations, the minutiae, which some people become distracted, they become preoccupied with the minutiae and the details and they forget the reason for it all. So of course the details matter and of course one has to be scrupulous and vigilant when it comes to Jewish law, keeping Shabbos, keeping kosher, keeping all of these things. Of course we have to be extraordinarily careful and mindful and on top of it, they matter. But they matter because of what they're supposed to promote and reinforce and draw out internally. You know, it's like, again, come back to this metaphor and I apologize if I keep coming back to it, except I'm sorry I'm not sorry, that imagine I give my wife the card and I give her the flowers and I give her the chocolates and I take out the garbage and I do the things, but there's no love. So check, check, check, check, check. We spend no time, I don't confide, I'm not curious, I don't draw love maps, we don't date into marriage, there's no romance, there's no fire, there's no flame, there's no energy. But I say, well, what's the problem? I gave you the card, I gave you the rose, I gave you the chocolate, I took out the garbage like you asked me to. Check, check, check, check, check. What's the point of all those things? You don't give a blank Hallmark or American Greetings card. You have to underline the words. and you have to write in your own message and it has to be delivered with love, it has to reveal something inside you. You don't just deposit flowers or chocolates or whatever the other person wants. Here, done, check, I did it. But this is what it reflects, it's coming from my heart. It's because I want you to be happy. I want to be the cause and the source of your happiness. So same is true with Hashem. When you just read the siddur but you don't concentrate, you're giving a blank empty card. When you just do mitzvos but you don't communicate love, you're just depositing flowers. When you just put a checkmark next to I keep Shabbos or kosher, it's like saying I just took out the garbage but I didn't do it because you asked me and I want to make you happy. Marriage, relationship with Hashem is a romantic loving relationship. It has to be nourished, it's nourished with time and it's nourished with communication and conversation and confiding, but it's nourished most of all by realizing it's the core of why we're doing it all. So it's so tragic how many observant Jews, how many Torah observant Jews so tragically are entirely preoccupied with the minutiae and the details. Again, I can't emphasize this enough, all critically, critically important, but they are so obsessed with it to the exclusion of nourishing the romantic part of their relationship with God. To the exclusion of realizing I have to talk and spend time and feel Your presence and feel Your presence. And listen to what he writes: והאדם שאומר שבשביל לקיים רצון השם מספיק להתמיד בתורה בחיצוניות, and the observant Torah Jew who says to be in a loving relationship with Hashem it's enough to do the external, check, check, check, check, check, halacha, halacha, halacha. I'm doing it all right, I'm scrupulous and I'm vigilant and you can't catch me on anything. ulekayeim hamitzvos bechitzoniyusam, and I'm doing the mitzvos all at the highest level. bli lev, but there's no heart, there's no mindfulness, I'm not really present, I'm not invested, I'm not engaged. הוא חי במצוות אנשים מלומדה. Such a person is living a robotic lifeless life. You could be dead even while you're alive. And you know in marriage when you're just putting those checkmarks, when you're mailing it in, when you're getting away with the bare minimum, when you're doing it with no feeling, with no energy, with no love, with no sparks, it's dead. You're dead even while you're alive. It's the end, it's the kiss of death to the relationship. And the same is true in a relationship with God, don't just mail it in. That lightning, the thunder, you made a bracha, you're about to eat that food, you pause, it takes a few seconds, you come out of the bathroom, the miracle of everything working right, you woke up in the morning, the Modeh Ani, throughout our day these bids for connection, these bids for connection, these recalibrating the compass, these coming back to that anchor, that reminder that we're in a relationship and who matters most and what is important and they're all there to reinforce that. Keep coming back to it. Don't be in a dry or a stale or a lifeless a dead relationship even while it's alive. ואדם כזה הפסיד את העיקר, such a person has lost, they forfeited what is central. ותורתו ומצוותיו הם כגוף בלי נשמה. You are like a golem, you're like a body without a soul. Do you want to be walking through life like a body without a soul? God forbid. You're like a car that has no engine. והוא רחוק לגמרי מכוונת הבורא השם יתברך, כי כל לבבות דורש השם, rachmana liba ba'i. What does Hashem want? He wants our heart. What do parents want from children? Don't just do what I ask, check, check, check, and then you go to your room and you have nothing to do with me. I want your heart. I want your emotion. I want a relationship. rachmana liba ba'i. The Almighty wants our heart. He wants us to be invested. He wants us to give and to place our heart into everything that we do. He wants our heart. Put your heart into this relationship. Now if you put your heart into it and you've tried and you've hit a wall because life is challenging and tough and you struggle to see where Hashem is, it's a whole other conversation. And my heart goes out to you and it's a difficult conversation. But many or most of us have never even tried. We've never even been there. We've never even put our whole heart into it. We've never tried to have that romantic. We've never been davuk, we've never clung to God, we've never welcomed Him into the room, we've never answered His bid for connection or offered our own. Try it. Your life will improve, I promise you. It'll be enriched, you'll feel calm and peaceful and serene. I don't know if I said it in this context, I've said it in others, and again I'm not going to tip my hat about who I voted for because this is not the time or place, but I will tell you that while others are obsessed with checking the news and following the story and listening to all kinds of theories and worrying and wondering about the ultimate outcome, when you tap into that emunah you say, I pulled the lever, I did my vote, maybe even privately I tried to persuade people, and now it'll be whatever it'll be. I'm not going to get bent out of shape or exercised over this. It'll be the way it's meant to be. Hashem chooses. And Hashem uses them as puppets to bring out the outcome He wants. So when you see people too emotionally invested, they're losing their peace of mind, their serenity in both directions, those celebrating excessively, those grieving excessively, those worrying excessively, there's a lack of faith. So living this life of dveikus that says Hashem, whatever the election results, whatever the hurricane projection results, whatever the financial stock market results, whatever the medical testing results God forbid, Hashem, I know you're in the room, you got your hand on my shoulder, we're going through this together, we're in it together. There's a sense of dveikus, you're clinging to him. Someone was talking to me recently, they're going through an especially hard time with their child. And there are very few things worse than than going through a hard time with your child. Either medically or educationally or developmentally, it's very, very difficult. It's very, very difficult because you know you're only as happy as the happiness of your least happy child. That's a rule in life. And if that's true about their happiness, it's much more true about their health. So to go through it and to feel that you're doing everything you can to help them and support them but it's out of your control and their pain is your pain and you so badly wish and maybe you're filled with regret of things you could have or should have done differently, there are fewer things more painful than that. So I told this person that you know I've gone through those episodes and I think if you have children by definition you have in some way or another and certainly in 2020 there's no house, there's no child, there's no adult who doesn't struggle emotionally, spiritually in some way, God forbid, physically. And I told the person I said you know when I went through it I also was in that very dark place and feeling very down and out until I had this major breakthrough moment. I had this thought. And all of a sudden it occurred to me. I remember it happened while I was driving. I said you know the Gemara in Kiddushin says that there are three partners that make up every child. We think there are two parents, there are three. There's the mother, the father, and Hashem. The parents contribute the genetic material and God contributes the soul. And it's only the combination, the partnership of the three that yield that child. So I remember I was driving and I turned to Hashem and I realized instead of turning to him from a perspective or a position of I need you to do me a favor. You're in control and I'm not and here's something I need from you. All of a sudden I realized and I turned to him and I said so Hashem, what's going on here? It's your child too. You're a co-parent. This isn't my problem. It's not my problem alone. He's your child, she's your child. This is your child also. Step in, I need your help, let's do this together. I'm clinging, I'm sticking with you, we're going to bring this, this is going to bring us closer. God forbid when those challenges come up, they could either drive that couple further apart or it could bring them closer together. That choice is ours and the attitude and the perspective that we bring. So I'll never forget I said Hashem, Ribbono Shel Olam, this is your child too. You're a co-parent, you're a partner. Don't do this for me as a favor, do this because it's all our responsibility, we're in this together. Whatever we're going through in life, we cling to God, dveikus, to cling to him, to be with him. And so there are people who are living richly, scrupulously observant Jewish lives and yet they have zero relationship with God. They've never had that conversation or any. They've said every word of the siddur, check, close the siddur, done. Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv, Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv, Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv, 60 years old and never ever had a conversation with God. Never said here's what I'm grateful for, here's what I'm thankful for, here's what I'm happy about. I met this week with someone not connected to the shul, but I've become connected and we're going to be announcing soon a formal connection with a major rehab recovery center in our community. And I met with somebody who's been through recovery, please God he's coming up on two years of sobriety, really deserves tremendous credit, such a beautiful, beautiful accomplishment. Is having certain challenges, certain issues, legal issues and was very, very concerned and very worried. And I said to him, a very special person I've come to know, I said you know you probably think you can't turn to God because you feel like God would say to you oh sure you need me now, but where have you been? You dropped me, you got rid of me, you moved on from me, but now that you're stuck, now that you're in trouble, now that you need me, all of a sudden you remember me? So you're probably feeling like I can't call God, I can't reach out to God because he probably thinks where have I been? So I said to him I want you to know something. You're not married yet, you don't have children yet, I want you to know something. If a parent is estranged from a child and the child calls after a day, a week, a year, years of not being in touch, the parent doesn't say where have you been or you need me now, the parent says thank you so much for calling. I'm so happy you called. I'm so grateful to reconnect. God's your father and he loves you and you don't have to worry. And so start the conversation I told him and start the conversation by saying God, dad, I know I haven't been in touch in a while. I know it's been a long time. But I need you and I want to connect with you. And it's not all or nothing because for a parent again the parent doesn't say all or nothing. The child who says I want to reconnect, I want to reconcile, I'm not ready to come home and live at home, I'm not ready full time, incrementally, small steps, the parent says I'll take whatever I could get. I'll take what I can get. I just want you to be healthy and well. I want to be connected and involved in your life. I'll take what I can get. And God, the Ribono Shel Olam, our Father in heaven, also says, I'll take what I can get. So I said to him, you need Hashem in this moment? Don't not come to Him because you think He's saying, where have you been? Come to Him and start the conversation and say, God, I know it's been a while, but I want to talk. And by the way, in the conversation, tell Him what you've been disappointed in Him. Tell Him what you're frustrated by. Be grateful for Him for the blessings He's given you. But turn to Him, 'cause as a loving parent He's waiting. He's waiting. So whether we're praying for our children, whether it's a child is praying for a parent or needs to turn to God as the parent even after it's been for a long time, dveikus kleint to Hashem. And what Rebbe Itche Meir is bemoaning, is bemoaning, and we see it, we see it in our Jewish community today. Our Jewish life and living has become so shallow and so superficial that even though we're scrupulously and vigilantly connected to observing Torah u'Mitzvos, even though we're getting all the details right and the minutiae and the hachsharim and the Shabbos and the details, and it is important, it is non-negotiable, it's critically important and our attitude and commitment to halacha defines us. I cannot say this enough times. I don't want to be misunderstood or misquoted. However, all of that is there to promote a relationship. It's like giving the card that's blank, or giving the flowers with no feeling, or taking out the garbage so you can put a checkmark. The relationship with God has to be animated, it has to come alive, it has to be brought to life with a deep sense and a profound of passion, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants our heart. אפילו אם הוא תלמיד חכם, says Rebbe Itche Meir, even if you're a talmid chacham, you're a righteous person, ועוסק בכל מיני עניינים נפלאים בתורה ומצוות, and you're involved in, you're making siyum and you're learning the Daf Yomi, you're going through so much Torah defines your whole day. מכל מקום אם שכח את העיקר, but if you forgot what is essential, what is central, what is core, שויתי השם לנגדי תמיד, you forgot that Hashem is opposite me always, that He's in the room, that His hand is on my shoulder, that He's watching, He's listening, He's partnering, ואינו מחפש לחיות עם השם יתברך, and you're not searching and looking to live with Him, הוא מחטיא את המטרה כולה. Listen to what he says. I couldn't say this, he can. Hu machti, you missed, hamatara kula, you missed the whole point. So you look at the end of the day, you'll come at the end of your life and you'll say, Hashem, catch me if you can. You won't catch me doing anything wrong. I never ate non-kosher, I never missed a davening, I never violated Shabbos. You can't catch me. I never did anything wrong. And God says, you never did anything wrong. My dear friend, you never did anything right. The reason I asked you to do all those things so that you'd have a relationship with Me, and yet you've never spoken to Me, you've never confided in Me, you've never welcomed Me, you've never listened to Me speaking to you. Do we want to get to that point in our lives where we think we've done everything right and God says you haven't done anything right? הוא מחטיא את המטרה כולה. You've missed the point entirely, כי רחמנא ליבא בעי. Hashem wants our heart. He wants a romantic relationship. He wants a relationship of a parent of a child. He wants a relationship! And a relationship needs time, it needs communication, most of all it needs authenticity, it needs a sense of self, it needs investing ourselves in that relationship. That's a relationship. That's a relationship. That's what He wants. And even though I wanted to say so much more, we are running out of time. We'll do two more minutes. ואף שבוודאי ראשית ובסיס העבודה היא קבלת עול מלכות שמיים, and it's true that the beginning and the core, the foundation of the relationship is to accept upon ourselves the yoke of heaven, mitoch yiras shamayim, with a sense of awe. You can't be too overly familiar or casual. דהיינו לעשות המעשים ולקיים כל ההלכות כי כך ציווה המלך. To do our actions and to fulfill all of halacha, 'cause Hashem says jump we say how high. It's not negotiable. It's not optional. Hashem says this is what I expect of you, this is what I demand of you and we have to do it. ואין זה משנה אם הוא מרגיש בזה דביקות וחיבור פנימי או לא. And by the way, even though He wants our heart, even when our heart is not in it, you've got to do it. My heart's not in it and I don't feel like davening, I still have to daven. My heart's not in it, I don't feel like keeping kosher, I have to keep kosher. My heart's not in it, I don't feel like putting on tefillin or lighting the Shabbos candles, I have to do it. Zehu habasis, that's the basis, it's a foundation, aval lo hatachlis, but it's not the essence, it's not the goal. אחרי שהאדם מחזיק בקבלה זו ומקבל על עצמו לקיים כל ההלכות בכל מאודיו, הוא צריך להתעלות לעבוד מחמת אהבת הא-ל כמו שכתב הרמב"ם. That is the core, it's the foundation, it's the first step. Non-negotiable, meet the expectation, meet the what Hashem has set for us as the blueprint of our lives. But that's not the end, it's the beginning. It's the foundation, but we've got to build up upon it. Otherwise we've missed out on the purpose of life. כי רק זו עבודה אמיתית שאדם ירגיש כלות הנפש מרוב אהבה ורצון להידבק במתיקות השם. We have to want to attach ourselves to the... sweetness of God. ומי שזוכה להידבק בחוזק בהשם יתברך and a person who merits, who really feels Hashem in their life, who lives and walks through life with God, azai יוכל לעמוד כנגד פיתויי היצר הרע. By the way that gives you the strength to overcome the evil urge. Because if Hashem is in the room and if you love him and he loves you, then you're not going to cheat on God, then you're not going to violate God, then you're not going to walk away from God, because how could you do that to him? You'd never do that to him. ולא תהיה לו חלישות הדעת משום דבר. You're never going to become weak, you're never going to grow weak because of any influence or because of any appetite, because he's in the room. All that he's done for us we could never violate him. וזוכה לתכלית שלימות המנוחה ושלימות האמונה. And it'll bring the peace, the serenity that we crave. ובכל מקום מצב ומרגיש שהשם יתברך ושמח איתו. In every circumstance, in every surrounding, we will merit to feel Hashem, we will have gratitude, we will have faith, we will have joy. The end of each class I teach I say stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy, and the way to attain all three is to live a life of dveykus, is to cling to Hashem and attach ourselves to Hashem and to connect to Hashem in each and every circumstance of our lives. Join us tonight behind the bima 9 p.m. wishing everyone stay happy, stay healthy, and most of all stay holy.
