Transcript
Good morning, בוקר טוב Boker tov. So excited and wonderful to learn the פרשה parsha together again in פרשה parsha perspectives for today trying to extract contemporary and inspiring lessons from our weekly תורה Torah portion. I want to thank as always our generous sponsors of the פרשה parsha perspectives for the year, dear friends Becky and Avi Katz and family in memory of Becky's father David Grossman. Our learning should be לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מנש le'ilui nishmas David ben Menachem Manis. Thank you so much for your generosity. פרשת כי תצא Parshas Ki Seitzei appears in the ArtScroll Stone חומש Chumash on page 1046, 1,046. And the פרשה parsha begins as we're all familiar, כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך Ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha, when you go out to war against your enemy. ונתנו השם אלוקיך בידך u'nesano Hashem Elokecha b'yadecha ושבית שביו v'shavisa shivyo. And השם Hashem is going to deliver the enemy into your hand. You're going to be triumphant. You're going to be victorious. ושבית שביו v'shavisa shivyo. And in victory, you will capture a captive. וראית בשביה אשת יפת תואר u'raisa bashivya eishes yefas toar, and you're going to see a very attractive woman, you'll be drawn to her, וחשקת בה v'chashakta ba, you'll long for her, ולקחת לך לאשה v'lakachta lecha l'isha and you're going to take her for you as a wife. And then the תורה Torah gives a prescription of exactly what to do when this happens. It's a fascinating section of the תורה Torah because as חז\"ל Chazal tell us, לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara. Here the תורה Torah speaks to not the best of humanity, not our highest yearning or reaching or longing. Here the תורה Torah speaks to what is so to say the lowest common denominator. לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara. The תורה Torah acknowledges the reality of who we are, our temptation, our drive, our desire, and the תורה Torah makes, so to say, a concession to that. Which is very interesting. It means that our תורה הקדושה Torah HaKedosha is not utopian literature. Our תורה הקדושה Torah HaKedosha deals with לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara. We are fallible, and we are human, and we are mere mortals. We make mistakes and we come up short and the תורה Torah, anticipating and recognizing and appreciating that, on the one hand, pushes us to strive and to have drive and ambition, and on the other hand makes concessions. One of the concessions for example the תורה Torah makes, we'll read about it in a couple weeks, when לא נפלאת היא ממך ולא רחוקה היא lo nifleis hi mimcha v'lo rechoka hi, what is this מצוה mitzva? כי המצוה הזאת ki hamitzva hazos? The מצוה mitzva that רמב\"ן Ramban says is the מצוה mitzva of תשובה teshuva. תשובה Teshuva is one of the many things that the תורה Torah describes God created even before he built the world. Even before the six days of creation, השם Hashem first introduced and instituted the concept, the capacity, the ability to do תשובה teshuva. Why was תשובה teshuva created before the world? Why not wait for man to stumble and fall and then תשובה teshuva will be the tool, the instrument, the vehicle to recover and return from it. Why invent or introduce תשובה teshuva even before man ever made a mistake? And the answer that's so powerful and empowering to me this time of year and the whole year long is that God did not create man to be perfect. There is no one in this world אשר לא יחטא asher lo yechta who doesn't make mistakes. We all make mistakes. And he built into the system that recognition, that acknowledgement and he built into the system how we can repair and return and recover. תשובה Teshuva means to return. It means to go back. It means to reset, it means to reboot. So here too the beginning of our פרשה parsha which is the story of the יפת תואר yefas toar, לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara, the תורה Torah speaking to not the world the way we wish it were, not people the way we wish they would be. The תורה Torah is speaking to the reality of mortal fallible man, man generic man and woman who are drawn to temptation, distraction, who make mistakes and give us the prescription and tell us what to do. Now I want to share with you an insight of ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe on this opening of our פרשה parsha, which until I saw it, the question never occurred to me, but of course, the great ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe, the great משגיח mashgiach, doesn't need me to endorse his insight, how brilliant it is. כי תצא למלחמה Ki seitzei lamilchama, why does it describe when you go out to war with your enemy? Just say when you're at war, when you are in war with your enemy, and השם Hashem makes you triumphant and you capture a captive. Why is the imagery כי תצא Ki Seitzei, when you go out to war? This image of the word יציאה yitzi'a, the notion of going out, of leaving, always has a connotation or association with something negative in a derogatory way. And I'll give you a few examples. Go to בראשית ל\"ד פסוק א' Bereishis lamed-daled, pasuk alef. Genesis chapter 34 verse 1. It's פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. And what's the story there? דינה Dina. ותצא דינה בת לאה אשר ילדה ליעקב לראות בבנות הארץ Vateitzei Dina bas Leah asher yalda l'Yaakov liros b'vnos ha'aretz. דינה Dina was bored, the only girl, had no playmates. She wanted to go out, wanted to explore, wanted to have some girlfriends, wanted to see what was going on. לראות בבנות הארץ liros b'vnos ha'aretz, to see what was happening. וירא אותה שכם בן חמור החוי נשיא הארץ Vayar osa Shechem ben Chamor ha'Chivi nesi ha'aretz. And we all know the story. חמור Chamor is attracted, takes her captive. This is the beginning of the Me Too movement, violates her. There is no consent and of course, the two brothers stand up and fight and advocate and wipe out חמור Chamor and שכם Shechem in defense of their sister דינה Dina. But how did this whole episode begin? And here the תורה Torah is not חס ושלום chas v'shalom blaming the victim. But the תורה Torah tells us, ותצא vateitzei. She went out. And רש\"י Rashi there says, how is דינה Dina identified? ותצא דינה בת לאה Vateitzei Dina bas Leah, בראשית ל\"ד פסוק א' Bereishis lamed-daled, pasuk alef. ותצא דינה בת לאה Vateitzei Dina bas Leah. Now דינה Dina is the daughter of לאה Leah. One second, who else was דינה Dina the daughter of? Not just לאה Leah, דינה Dina also had a father. And who was her father? יעקב Yaakov. Wonders רש\"י Rashi, why does the תורה Torah identify דינה Dina specifically with לאה Leah? What happened to יעקב Yaakov? Says רש\"י Rashi, ולא בת יעקב? אלא על שם יציאתה נקראת בת לאה, שאף היא יצאנית היתה, שנאמר ותצא לאה לקראתו V'lo bas Yaakov? Ela al shem yitzi'asa nikreis bas Leah, she'af hi yatzenis haisa, shene'emar vateitzei Leah likraso. She's identified or associated with her mother because she shares a similar quality and trait. And what was that quality and trait? ותצא vateitzei. לאה Leah acted indiscreetly. She went out. And דינה Dina is described as the daughter of לאה Leah because ותצא דינה vateitzei Dina, she too went out. So here we see the first negative connotation. Not חס ושלום chas v'shalom blaming the victim. דינה Dina was exclusively the victim, and that's why her brothers rise up on her behalf and defend her honor. Let's be clear, she's purely the victim, no one's blaming the victim. However, ותצא vateitzei, this quality of always needing to go out and be out and intermingle and integrate and see what's happening. Curiosity killed the cat and curiosity killed many others. So here's the first association, a negative or derogatory association with the concept of going out. Next we have in ספר ויקרא Sefer Vayikra. Go to ויקרא, פרק כ\"ד, פסוק י' Vayikra, perek chaf-daled, pasuk yud. ויקרא כ\"ד, פסוק י' Vayikra chaf-daled, pasuk yud. The פסוק pasuk tells us, ויצא בן אשה ישראלית והוא בן איש מצרי בתוך בני ישראל וינצו במחנה בן הישראלית ואיש הישראלי Vayeitzei ben isha Yisraelis v'hu ben ish Mitzri b'soch Bnei Yisrael vayinatzu bamachaneh ben haYisraelis v'ish haYisraeli. We have another story. We have another story of the son of a Jewish woman who went out. This is the מגדף megadef who went out and cursed God, the blasphemer, the קיצוני kitzoni personality who previously had risen in defense of God and as such an extremist now is going out to curse and to blaspheme God. And how does that begin that episode? ויצא בן אשה ישראלית והוא בן איש מצרי בתוך בני ישראל Vayeitzei ben isha Yisraelis v'hu ben ish Mitzri b'soch Bnei Yisrael. He went out, went out. When out. Again, you see this notion of יציאה yitzi'a, of going out, of exploring, of leaving, as being identified or associated with something negative or derogatory. He went out. Where did he go out? ויצא Vayeitzei, Rashi here says, מהיכן יצא Meheichan yatza? Why don't we just describe that he got up and he took his keyboard, he took his smartphone, on social media, online or offline, he blasphemed God. He cursed out God. Why do you have to describe ויצא Vayeitzei, he went out to curse God? You can curse God comfortably from home now that we have the internet. Why do you have to go anywhere? So Rashi says, מהיכן יצא meheichan yatza, where did he go? רבי לוי אמר מעולמו יצא Rebbi Levi omar m'olamo yatza. He left his world. He left his sanity. He left his his his mental balance and well-being. He went out. So this is the second example. First we have דינה Dina, ותצא דינה vateitzei Dina, now we have ויצא בן אשה ישראלית vayeitzei ben isha Yisraelis. And finally, in the case of קרח Korach. קרח Korach and his עדה eida. It says the פסוק pasuk when it comes to קרח Korach, we're in now במדבר Bamidbar. במדבר פרק ט\"ז, פסוק כ\"ז Bamidbar perek tes-zayin pasuk chaf-zayin. 16:27. The פסוק pasuk describes ויעלו מעל משכן קרח דתן ואבירם מסביב Vaya'alu me'al mishkan Korach, Dasan v'Aviram misaviv, and they got up from the dwelling of קרח דתן אבירם Korach, Dasan Aviram from all around, ודתן ואבירם יצאו נצבים פתח אהליהם ונשיהם ובניהם וטפם V'Dasan v'Aviram yatz'u nitzavim pesach oheleihem u'nesheihem u'vneihem v'tapam. They went out standing at the entrance of their tents, they, their wives, their children and their infants. And here, רש\"י Rashi again says, what do you mean יצאו yatz'u they went out? Says רש\"י Rashi, יצאו בקומה זקופה לחרף ולגדף Yatz'u b'koma zekufa l'charef u'legadef. Brazenly, boldly, arrogantly they went out. They threw caution to the wind and they went out. ולגדף U'legadef, they went out in order to curse, to blaspheme, they went in order to rebel, to rebel. So you see this notion of יציאה yetziah with three negative connotations. With דינה Dina, the מגדף megadef in ויקרא Vayikra, and with דתן ואבירם Dasan v'Aviram here in קרח Korach. Why the connection? Why the connection? And here ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe is really answering a question. A question that should bother all of us. At the end of last week's פרשה parsha, we had a list of the individuals who not only are exempt from war, but from or the individuals that we send home from war. And who are they? If you got married but haven't enjoyed your שנה ראשונה shana rishona, you haven't really enjoyed your home, your new home, if you planted a, built a home but didn't yet take residence in it, and if you planted a vineyard and did not yet enjoyed it, these three individuals are sent home from war. But there's a fourth category we talked about it last week. The individual who has עבירות בידו aveiros b'yado, רך לבב rach levav, the soft or faint of heart who carries עבירות בידו aveiros b'yado. Why? Someone who did something so seemingly insignificant like spoke between the arm תפילין tefillin and the head תפילין tefillin has to go home. What does that imply or suggest about the people who are going out to war? There's a certain level of righteousness. There's a certain level of nobility. There's a certain level of of צדקות tzidkus. These are good people. These are quality people. These are fine people. These are upstanding people. These are moral and ethical people. Because we've already weeded out the weak, the morally and ethically weak, we've already weeded out the individual who have עבירות בידו aveiros b'yado, the individual who make mistakes, who have indiscretion, who have poor judgment, and who hold on to them, who carry them with them. We told you stay home. So who came with us out to war? The ones who lead that battle out to war are the ones who are morally upright, who are ethically steadfast. So says ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe, if that's the case, how do you have the whole beginning of our פרשה parsha? כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך Ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha. What do you mean? When you go out and you see the attractive woman, and we know how many American soldiers, we know how many soldiers of every country of every army in the context of war when they are acting with brutality and violence can lose their moral compass, can be drawn to that which doesn't belong to them, right? And the תורה Torah here accommodates that, כי תצא למלחמה Ki seitzei lamilchama, and לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara. But who are we talking about? You're talking about the righteous soldier. So why is that righteous soldier drawn to the strange beautiful woman, taking her captive, shaving her head? He must have her even if she's an אשת איש eishes ish, even if she is married and belongs to someone else. Who are we talking about? How did the righteous soldier of last week, because we weeded out the unrighteous, become the soldier of the יפת תואר yefas toar of the beginning of this week? Says ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe, the answer is all in that word, תצא teitzei. כי תצא למלחמה Ki seitzei lamilchama. It's in that word תצא teitzei. Why is in that word תצא teitzei? says ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe, what חז\"ל Chazal are telling us is that when you go out, when you go out. רש\"י Rashi here says, why are we accommodating the soldier? במלחמת הרשות הכתוב מדבר b'milchemes hareshus hakasuv medaber, talking about a voluntary war, not an obligatory war. And the reason that we accommodate the soldier לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע lo dibra Torah ela k'neged yeitzer hara, שאם אין הקדוש ברוך הוא מתירה, ישאנה באיסר she'im ein HaKadosh Baruch Hu matira, yisa'ena b'isur. If the תורה Torah wouldn't let you, give you parameters and criteria, give you a protocol for how to marry her permissibly, then you'd marry her in a forbidden way. אבל אם נשאה סופו להיות שונאה שנאמר אחריו כי תהיין לאיש Aval im nasa'ah, sofo l'hiyos sona'ah, shene'emar achareiv ki sihyena l'ish and then she'll become hated, and then you'll have a בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, and it will spiral, it will spiral downward. Says the ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe, you know where everything went wrong? When you bring an attitude and a mentality in life of כי תצא ki seitzei. When a person wants to go out, to go out of your boundary, and to go out of your border, and to go out of what should be your spiritual comfort zone. You know it doesn't mean that we can't be creative and inquisitive. This world is magnificent, and השם Hashem invites us, at least when we're past the pandemic, he invites us to explore it, and to conquer it, and to get to know it. Go see the national parks, go study science, go and and pursue and learn and and experience. It's a magnificent world. But do it within certain spiritual boundaries. Do it within certain spiritual and הלכה halachic parameters. And stay at home within that world of our moral compass. Stay at home. כי תצא Ki seitzei, because when you want to go out, when you want to be able to taste or experience or have whatever everyone else has, you want to see how the world lives, you're just curious, you just want to give a look, you just want to take a taste, that כי תצא ki seitzei, that mentality of leaving our boundaries and leaving our spiritual and Torah borders, just giving a look and just getting a taste and just being a spectator and just being an observer, that כי תצא ki seitzei, that pull and that desire, it could take the righteous soldier of the end of last week's פרשה parsha and turn it into the soldier of the יפת תואר yefas toar at the beginning of this week's פרשה parsha. That's what's going on. We have an exception. The exception is יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu. We have an entire פרשה parsha named ויצא Vayeitzei. פרשת ויצא Parshas Vayeitzei. פרק כ\"ח פסוק י' perek chaf-ches pasuk yud in בראשית Bereishis. פרשת ויצא Parshas Vayeitzei. ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע וילך חרנה Vayeitzei Yaakov mi'Be'er Sheva vayeilech Charana. יעקב Yaakov went out. He went out and he headed towards חרן Charan and here the תורה Torah tells us this ויצא Vayeitzei had the opposite impact. Says רש\"י Rashi, this ויצא Vayeitzei is, לא היה צריך לכתוב אלא וילך יעקב חרנה Lo haya tzarich lichtov ela vayeilech Yaakov Charana. The פרשה parsha could have begun by telling us יעקב Yaakov headed to חרן Charan. What did he plug into the GPS? חרן Charan. Why did he have to tell us where he left from? Why is that important or significant? למה הזכיר יציאתו? Lama hizkir yitzi'aso? מגיד שיציאת צדיק מן המקום עושה רושם Magid sheyitzi'as tzaddik min hamakom oseh roshem. It's telling us that when a צדיק tzaddik, when a person leaves a place, it makes an impression. When a righteous person lives somewhere, they lifted everyone up. Their behavior and their attitude and their image and their mere presence has an indelible impression. It lifts people up. And when יעקב Yaakov left, it made a רושם roshem. שבזמן שהצדיק בעיר, הוא הודה, הוא זיוה, הוא הדרה Sheb'zman she'hatzaddik ba'ir, hu hoda, hu ziva, hu hadara. The צדיק tzaddik is the הוד hod. The צדיק tzaddik is the glory and the splendor. יצא משם, פנה הודה, פנה זיוה, פנה הדרה Yatza misham, pana hoda, pana ziva, pana hadara. When the צדיק tzaddik leaves. So here we have the ויצא Vayeitzei where יעקב Yaakov who was that צדיק tzaddik, יעקב Yaakov who knew how to stay home within the spiritual boundaries and comfort zone, when he left, דוקא dafka, is when it had that impression, that negative impression on others. So before a person, says ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe, before a person departs from a regular routine, you have to take a moment to contemplate if what you plan to do or your place you want to visit is going to have a negative or a positive effect on you. When a person's going to leave your comfort zone, just try this, just go there, just watch this, just read this, just think this, just experience this. You're going to leave your comfort zone. You're going to ותצא vayateitzei, you're going to כי תצא ki seitzei. When you're going to תצא teitzei, when you're going to have a יציאה yetziah, when you're going to go out of what you feel comfortable and safe and what is home, then you need to give extra thought and forethought to anticipate what the consequence will be. And that's why the תורה Torah relates to most instances of יציאה yetziah in a derogatory fashion, only with יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu is the יציאה yetziah one that is negative in the other direction, that it has the negative impact on the people that it leaves behind. So anyway, I shared that with you because the question that ר' וולבה Rav Wolbe is seeking to answer is a question that never occurred to me. What happened to the righteous soldier of last week's פרשה parsha, so much so that at the beginning of this week's פרשה parsha, he's now desiring someone that's off limits to him, that the תורה Torah has to come up with this accommodation called the laws of יפת תואר yefas toar. It's very bizarre unless you understand that important critical word תצא teitzei, how careful we need to be when it comes to our notion of יציאה yitzi'a. Many of the מפרשים mefarshim and the חסידישע רביס Chasidishe Rebbes explain that this כי תצא למלחמה ki seitzei lamilchama, with whom is this war? על אויבך Al oyvecha. And who's the אויבך oyvecha? Our alter ego. The אויבך oyvecha is this alter ego. The אויבך oyvecha is again that that voice in ourselves that when we go out says, just taste, just experiment, just a look, just a taste, just see, just try. And it leads us astray if we're not careful. The great British poet Robert Browning once said, when the fight begins within himself, a man's worth something. When the fight begins within himself, a man is worth something. Which is כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha. That's what the אור החיים Or HaChaim and many of the רביס rebbes point out. With whom is this fight? It's a fight within yourself, and that's when you become worth something. When you coast through life, when you're complacent and apathetic, when you just do whatever you want, when you explore whatever you want, and then you just redraw the boundaries. Instead of admitting that you violated a boundary, you just redraw the boundaries with every new desire and want you have, when you're not engaged with an internal conversation, an internal battle, an internal an internal struggle, then what are you worth? This כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha is the מלחמה milchama with ourselves. To be more patient, to be more caring, to be more humble, to learn more תורה Torah, to daven with more כוונה kavanah, to be more generous, to spend more time doing חסד chesed, whatever the area we've identified that we need to work on to have more אמונה emunah, to feel השם's Hashem's presence over our shoulder, whatever area that we need to work on, כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha, when we're willing to fight with ourselves is when we are worth something. And that struggle, that מלחמה על אויבך milchama al oyvecha, that struggle with ourselves, that result, that consequence is the sweetest. I posted a video today, we've been sending out a daily inspiration from the שול shul, a minute of inspiration for אלול Elul, rotation of the rabbis. I sent one out today where I heard a beautiful insight that we know שנה טובה ומתוקה Shana tova u'mesuka, everybody loves dipping the apple in the honey. We're counting down, short time from now, dipping the apple in the honey, and wishing one another שנה טובה ומתוקה Shana tova u'mesuka, many dip חלה challah in the honey all the way through סוכות Sukkos. I have a friend who dips חלה challah in the honey all year round. He wants it to be sweet. At least it's a סגולה segula for the dentists so his children have to keep coming, all the apple and that honey. שנה טובה ומתוקה Shana tova u'mesuka. Now whenever דבש dvash, whenever the תורה Torah in תנ\"ך Tanach uses the term דבש dvash, honey, the תורה Torah is talking about דבש תמרים dvash temarim, date honey. When the תורה Torah when תנ\"ך Tanach, we use the term דבש dvash, honey, we're talking about date honey. And yet here, the מנהג minhag is דבש דבורים dvash d'vorim. We're using bee honey. We dip the apple not in the date honey, we dip the apple in the bee honey. Why? Why? I forgot where I first saw this. I think Rav Miller Biederman quoted it. The answer is because the honey flows from the date. The date doesn't have to undergo any pressure. The date doesn't have to undergo any any struggle. The honey just flows from the date naturally and that's how one retrieves date honey. But when it comes to the bee, the bee undergoes struggle in order to create that honey. And to retrieve, to access that honey from the bee, you have to be willing to endure pain. You have to be willing to apply effort. You have to be invested. The reason we use bee honey on ראש השנה Rosh Hashana, because for it to be a שנה טובה ומתוקה Shana tova u'mesuka, no pain, no gain. The more you put in, the sweeter it is. לפום צערא אגרא L'fum tzara agra, according to the effort is the reward. So כי תצא למלחמה על אויבך ki seitzei lamilchama al oyvecha, we're in this battle with our alter ego. We're with a battle with the voice that wants to sabotage. We're in a battle to be the best version of ourselves. And when we struggle is when our life becomes worth something. That's the sweetest, the sweetest that it is. The next section of the תורה Torah has is the story of the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh. לא היה ולא נברא Lo haya v'lo nivra. Never had never was, never will be. And the גמרא Gemara, חז\"ל Chazal already wonder, if it never happened and it never will happen, then why is the תורה Torah taking up precious real estate by taking us these intricate and detailed laws? To which the תורה Torah responds, דרוש וקבל שכר drosh v'kabel schar, because you will extrapolate, you'll learn, you'll study and you'll get reward. Now the simple understanding is that you'll apply yourself in study this section and by learning תורה Torah, the most noble pursuit, the best זאך zach, then you'll get reward, קבל שכר kabel schar, in the world to come. However, many including Rav Shamshon Fol Hirsch and others say, no, דרוש drosh, understand what went wrong with the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh וקבל שכר u'mekabel schar, where? Where will you get reward? In this world. Why? Because if you want to learn about parenting, you want to learn about education, you want to learn about inspiring others, then closely examine the story of the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh. We've done this in the past and we're not going to do it again right now. But there are many lessons to be gleaned and learned from the parents' inconsistency, do they speak with one voice or with two different voices? Are they giving one message and one model or is there conflict within the home so the confused child just decides to to for themselves what will be. There's a lot to talk about about the lessons and the קבל שכר kabel schar that you can extract. But I want to share with you a different insight from Rav Druck. Rav Druck in his עשי תמימות Aishel Tomim asked the following question. It's not his, excuse me, it's a very famous question, but I loved his answer. I love his answer. Rav Druck says the following. We know that when it comes to this בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, this child at the time, we're talking about a child within three months of their Bar Mitzvah who has the same voice as the parents, all of these real details in order to qualify, which is why it never happened and never will happen. The criteria are so rigid and so narrow that it's impossible to ever happen. And one of them is that this child has not yet done anything. So Rashi here says בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh, נהרג על שם סופו neherag al shem sofo. We're giving a capital punishment. We are giving the death penalty to a child who's done nothing wrong. Done nothing wrong. So why are you killing the child? על שם סופו Al shem sofo. Because we have a crystal ball. And we look at this child and we look into his future and we see that the future of this child does not end well. This future of this child, this child is going to act so wayward, so rebelliously that this child is going to do things worthy of the death penalty. So instead of waiting for the child to actually perform the crime, we eliminate the child before the crime. על שם סופו Al shem sofo, we fast forward to the end, we know what he's going to do wrong, and therefore we give him the death penalty before he ever can. הגיע תורה לסוף דעתו Higia Torah l'sof da'ato. The תורה Torah knows what's gonna happen. סוף שמכלה ממון אביו ומבקש למודו ואינו מוצא, ועומד בפרשת דרכים ומלסטם את הבריות Sof she'mekaleh mamon aviv u'mevakeish limudo v'eino motzei, v'omeid b'parshas drachim u'melastem es habrios. אמרה תורה ימות זכאי ואל ימות חייב Amra Torah yamut zakai v'al yamut chayav. Let this child die innocent rather than die guilty. It's a merit for the child. We're doing a favor for the child. Instead of fast forwarding with our crystal ball and waiting for the crime and a victim, we actually cut him off before there's a victim and it's a merit for the child that the child died innocent. Now if this bothers you, it bothers many others too. Why? Especially for the following reason. We find the opposite in the תורה Torah. בראשית כ\"א Bereishis kaf alef, when ישמעאל Yishmael is expelled from the house of אברהם Avraham, and he's sent out to the desert and there is no water, the פסוק pasuk says וישמע אלוקים את קול הנער, ויקרא מלאך אלוקים אל הגר מן השמים, ויאמר לה מה לך הגר, אל תיראי כי שמע אלוקים את קול הנער באשר הוא שם Vayishma Elokim es kol hana'ar, vayikra malach Elokim el Hagar min hashamayim, vayomer la ma lach Hagar, al tiri ki shama Elokim es kol hana'ar ba'asher hu sham. It says don't worry. A heavenly voice came out and proclaimed to הגר Hagar, don't worry about your child because your child is being evaluated and judged by how? באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham. So yes, ישמעאל Yishmael one day will become the greatest agitator ever of the Jewish people. Okay, we're making peace one by one, בעזרת השם b'ezras Hashem there'll be a day that we celebrate peace with the entire ישמעאל Yishmael. ישמעאל Yishmael will be the greater, greatest agitator and will will terrorize, murder, seek to exterminate, to drive into the sea the Jewish people in the beloved Israel. So say the angels to God, why are you bailing him out? Why are you giving him water? Let him fail. To which השם Hashem responds, no no no no no. I'm just God, and in my system of justice, באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham. I look and evaluate based on who you are today. And I don't care if your trajectory is in the direction of bad news. You're hanging out with the wrong crowd, and ultimately this path, we've seen it, we've seen this story before, we know how it ends. You're going to turn to a life of drugs and crime and this and that and the other. I don't care. But who you are right now and how you're living right now, באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham, says God. So wonders ר' דרוק Rav Druck and so many others, what's going on over here? Which way is it? Do we say נדון על שם סופו nidon al shem sofo? The בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh gets the death penalty because we know how the story ends. So let's make it a victimless crime. Let's cut him off before he can create a victim. נדון על שם סופו nidon al shem sofo. We judge someone based on the outcome that will be. Or do we say באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham? We look at the here and now. We look at the here and now. Not only does ישמעאל Yishmael benefit from השם's Hashem's approach of looking at the here and now, we are the beneficiaries of that approach, and we will be on ראש השנה Rosh Hashana. Because the גמרא Gemara in ראש השנה דף ט\"ז Rosh Hashana daf tes-zayin tells us אמר רבי יצחק amar Rabbi Yitzchak. I've spoken about this one statement in the גמרא Gemara countless times because I think it's so important and so misunderstood. When we come before השם Hashem on ראש השנה Rosh Hashana, what are we being judged for? What are we being judged for? You wake in a child in the middle of the night and ask them, for what is our judgment on ראש השנה Rosh Hashana? They'll say, were you a good boy or a good girl in the past year. ראש השנה Rosh Hashana we come before God and our whole last year plays before השם Hashem in the movie and the בית דין של מעלה Beis Din Shel Maala is up there and they look and they say, ooh that's not good, that's a problem, oh, that was nice, you did okay. And we've got the scales and which way are they going to tip and all the images that we since we're little children have about יום הדין Yom Hadin, the day of judgment, ראש השנה Rosh Hashana, עשרת ימי תשובה Aseres Yemei Teshuva, אלול Elul, this entire period of the year. Ask anyone in the middle of the night and they'll tell you, what is ראש השנה Rosh Hashana, what are you being judged for? The past year. However, you were told a lie. That is absolutely incorrect. It's 100% not true. We don't have time to expand upon it right now, but I'll just tell you this. The גמרא Gemara says אמר רבי יצחק amar Rabbi Yitzchak, אין דנין את האדם אלא לפי מעשיו של אותה שעה ein danin es ha'adam ela lefi ma'asav shel osa sha'ah. You're only being judged for that moment. So when you're in שול shul, when you're in שול shul or outside in a tent or davening in the safety of your own living room, whatever you're able to do this ראש השנה Rosh Hashana, on ראש השנה Rosh Hashana when we stand before God and God is looking and evaluating us, it is not about the past year. You know what he's evaluating us? How we are that day, that hour, that minute, that moment. So you said, what are you talking about? I thought it was all about the times that I forgot to make a ברכה bracha before I ate or I slept in or I didn't daven with כוונה kavana or I didn't hold the door, I didn't say please and thank you. I wasn't a good boy or I wasn't a good girl. I thought it was about the past. The answer is God only cares about the past in how it informs my present. But I can't be judged for the past because I can't change the past. The only thing that I'm in control over, the only thing that I can change is the present. So if I hold on to the past, if I have wonderful memories of the past, if I'm nostalgic about the past, if I am destined to repeat the past, then the past is part of my present, and for therefore I am guilty for it. But if in my present I've disassociated with the past, if in my present I've disavowed the past, if in my present I'm redefining who I am, that's all God cares about. Every moment I have an opportunity to redefine who I am and אין דנין את האדם אלא לפי מעשיו של אותה שעה ein danin es ha'adam ela lefi ma'asav shel osa sha'ah, all God cares about is that moment. And where did רבי יצחק Rebbi Yitzchak learn that from? Where did he learn that from that all that matters is that moment? Okay, I'll give you one piece of evidence. I want to get back to so much to talk about in the פרשה parsha. But one piece of evidence. The גמרא Gemara in קידושין Kiddushin says that an individual, picture the scene, the individual walks out of McDonald's, walks out of McDonald's. They didn't stop to use the bathroom or get a diet coke. They walk out and they're wiping the crumbs off their face from the delicious double cheeseburger, triple Whopper they just finished. The individual had בשר בחלב basar b'chalav, he ate cheeseburger, while you gossiped, while you cheated on your income taxes, while you think of every עבירה aveira in the world. And then they turn to a young woman, they fall in love with and they say at the same moment while they're still wiping the crumbs off their face of the double whopper cheeseburger, הרי את מקודשת לי על מנת שאני צדיק harei at mekudeshes li al menas she'ani tzaddik. You are hereby married to me on condition that I am a צדיק tzaddik, I'm righteous. So I don't know if you ask me if I was the rabbi, I'd say 100% they're not married. There's no there's no validity to that marriage because the חתן chasan attached a condition that he didn't meet. You're hereby married to me on condition that I'm a צדיק tzaddik. You're a צדיק tzaddik? The cheeseburger is still on your face. The stain is still on your shirt of the Whopper. What are you talking about you're a צדיק tzadik? Says the Gemara in מקודשת mekudeshes, you're married. Why? שמא הרהר בתשובה Shema hirher bi'tshuva. Because in the split millisecond between finishing the Whopper and saying you're hereby married to me on condition I'm a צדיק tzadik, maybe the individual decided, I'm a צדיק tzadik. And yes, it is that simple. Isn't that empowering? Isn't that enriching? Aren't I using up all my ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim דרשות drashas right now? Yes. Isn't that incredibly empowering? All it takes is deciding in this moment, oh the person who did that yesterday or did that an hour ago or did that a minute ago, that's not me. I don't want to be that person anymore. I've hereby declared I want to redefine myself. I hereby declare I'm a new person in this moment. And God says, then we're good. We're good. Good to go. Because I'm not judging you or holding you accountable for the last year. I'm holding you accountable for this moment. And the last year matters in how it informs this moment. And where did Rabbi Yitzchak learn that from? אין דן את האדם אלא לפי מעשיו של אותה שעה Ein dan es ha'adam ela l'fi ma'asav shel osah sha'ah. That you're only judged for that moment. He quotes a פסוק pasuk, שנאמר shene'emar, כי שמע אלקים אל קול הנער באשר הוא שם ki shama Elokim el kol hana'ar ba'asher hu sham. How do we know that? Because God did not hold ישמעאל Yishmael accountable for whom he would become, but rather, he interacted with ישמעאל Yishmael based on who he was in that in that moment, in that moment. So Rav Druk asked, I don't understand. Which is it? נידון על שם סופו nidon al shem sofo? Do we fast forward, do we look in the crystal ball? Do we hold you accountable based on the trajectory that you're on and what you're ultimately going to do, as he does with the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh? Or is it like ישמעאל Yishmael and all of us on ראש השנה Rosh Hashanah, באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham, that all that matters is that is that moment. And listen to what he answers. First he quotes a חזקוני Chizkuni. And he says the difference was, ישמעאל למעשיו היה כשר לגמרי באותה שעה Yishmael l'ma'asav hayah kasher l'gamrei b'osah sha'ah. נידון בהנהגה שלו באשר הוא שם Nidon be'hanhaga shelo ba'asher hu sham. בן סורר ומורה שכבר החל תחילת קלקולו Ben sorer u'moreh she'kvar hechil t'chilas kilkulo, עונש חמור כל כך onesh chamur kol kach. So ישמעאל Yishmael at that moment was pure, was completely innocent. It's only that we have a eye to the future, we know what would be. But the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh has already begun to slip, has already shown indication or signs of who he was going to become and that's why the difference. That's the answer of the חזקוני Chizkuni. But Rav Druk gives a different answer. He gives a different answer. He quotes רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah. It's so beautiful because it's the intersection between the פרשה parsha and אלול Elul getting ready for יום נוראים Yom Noraim. Listen to רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah. רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah in שערי תשובה Sha'arei Teshuvah writes, כאשר ישמע מוסר החכמים המוכיחים ka'asher yishma musar ha'chachamim ha'mochichim, יקשיב וישמע ויכנע ויחזור בתשובה yakshiv v'yishma v'yikana v'yachzor b'tshuva, ויקים בליבו כל דברי התוכחות v'yakam b'libo kol divrei ha'tochachos, שלא יגרע דבר מדבריהם shelo yigra davar midivreihem. Do you know what the prerequisite is to doing תשובה tshuva? To listening and learning and being open to the fact that you might need to change. The individual who doesn't know how to listen, if you're closed off and closed down and shut down, and no one can ever get through to you, there's no article, there's no speech, there's no WhatsApp group, there's no video, there's no moment, there's no family member, there's no friend, there's no Rebbe, there's no one who can ever get through to you and suggest anything other than that you're perfect. If anyone says anything other than that you're perfect, they offer constructive criticism, feedback, even delivered in the most beautiful, delicious way, you can never hear it, says רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah, you'll never change. The prerequisite to change is the ability to listen. Is the ability to be open. The רמח\"ל Ramchal writes this also in מסילת ישרים Mesilas Yesharim. The רמח\"ל Ramchal writes, he says the לץ leitz, the לץ leitz, the cynic, the sarcastic individual, it's like they're holding a shield that is smeared with oil. And when an arrow hits the shield, the oil, it makes the arrow slide right off. Nothing can penetrate. We all know people like that. So cynical, so sarcastic, nothing ever penetrates. Their spouse, their children can call out, cry out, try to get through to them, confide in them, their most heartfelt, authentic feeling. But the sarcastic cynic, it just slides right off. Nothing, nothing ever penetrates. Says רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah, you want to grow, you want to improve, you want to repair, you want to become a better version of yourself, the prerequisite is the ability to listen, the ability to listen. And if you can't listen, then you'll never grow. It's what שלמה המלך Shlomo Hamelech says in משלי Mishlei. מאור עינים ישמח לב me'or einayim yismach lev, שמועה טובה תדשן עצם shmua tova tidashen etzem, אוזן שומעת תוכחת חיים ozen shoma'as tochachas chaim. You have to have the ability to listen, שמיעת האוזן shmias ha'ozen. One of the 48 ways Torah is acquired in פרקי אבות Pirkei Avos is שמיעת האוזן shmias ha'ozen. You have to have the ability to listen. Says Rav Druk, listen to this גשמאק ווארט geshmak vort, listen to this amazing insight. Says Rav Druk, you know what the difference is between the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh who's נידון על שם סופו nidon al shem sofo? It's a fait accompli that we already give him the capital punishment, and ישמעאל Yishmael who we say באשר הוא שם ba'asher hu sham, let's look at him right now. Look at the section in our פרשה parsha כי תצא Ki Seitzei of the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh. What does it say about him? Over and over and over again. You know what he's missing? The ability to listen. איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו einenu shomea b'kol aviv u'v'kol imo. וייסרו אותו ולא ישמע אליהם v'yisru oso v'lo yishma aleihem. Over and over. איננו שומע בקולנו einenu shomea b'koleinu. וכל ישראל ישמעו ויראו v'chol Yisrael yishme'u v'yira'u. What is the word that's repeated over and over again in the section of the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh? ישמעו, שמיעה yishme'u, shmia, the ability to listen and to learn and to grow. This בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh is shut down. First the parents come and say איננו שומע בקול אביו ובקול אמו einenu shomea b'kol aviv u'v'kol imo. First the parents come and complain, he doesn't listen. Doesn't listen. Nothing penetrates, no openness, doesn't listen. וייסרו אותו v'yisru oso. So then the זקנים zekeinim, the elders, the rabbis, the inspirational, motivational speakers, they try to inspire him, ולא ישמע אליהם v'lo yishma aleihem. He doesn't listen, not to the meaningful minute, and not to this podcast, and not to that WhatsApp group, and not to Charlie, and not to Rav Crohn, and not to anybody. ולא ישמע v'lo yishma. And then what happens? The זקנים zekeinim, איננו שומע בקולנו einenu shomea b'koleinu, doesn't listen to them. And so, what do we have to do? Someone who's closed off and doesn't listen, that's the individual we know will never change. A person who listens, we have hope. The person who listens, there's promise. The person who listens, there's possibility. But if you're shut down and shut off and you can't and don't ever listen. And that's why how does the בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh section end? With a mandate and a charge to the Jewish people. וכל ישראל ישמעו ויראו v'chol Yisrael yishme'u v'yira'u. You everyone see what happened? Everyone see what we did to this בן סורר ומורה ben sorer u'moreh? You see that we had to apply capital punishment and we had to give him the death penalty? Now go do what? Listen and learn. Listening, it is the key to personal growth, personal achievement, it's the key to be able to break through. What an insight of Rav Druk. Next, פרק כב פסוק א perek kaf beis pasuk aleph. לא תראה את שור אחיך או את שיו נדחים lo sir'eh es shor achicha o es seyo nidachim, והתעלמת מהם v'hisalamta meihem. You cannot see the ox of your brother or sheep or goat that is cast off and you're going to turn away? והתעלמת מהם v'hisalamta meihem, you're going to close your eyes, you're going to look away. Instead השב תשיבם לאחיך hashev teshivem l'achicha. The מצוה mitzva of השבת אבידה hashavas aveida. The מצוה mitzva of השבת אבידה hashavas aveida. You have to return the lost object to the person. You have to return the lost object to the person. השבת אבידה hashavas aveida, we've spoken about this many times in the past. It's it's what defines a good Jew versus a good American. See, to be a good American, you have to just not rape, steal, pillage, murder. You're not actually good, you're just not bad. But the Torah says, no, no, we actually want to mold and shape and cultivate not just not bad people, we want to create good people. A good person doesn't walk by a lost object and not try to give it back to its rightful owner. You have to return the right the object to the rightful owner. The Gemara in סנהדרין דף עג Sanhedrin daf ayin gimmel takes this פסוק pasuk a step further. And the Gemara in סנהדרין Sanhedrin says, not just you have to return a lost object to its rightful owner, if you have the ability to return and restore someone's health, then that too. A doctor who heals is doing השבת אבידה hashavas aveida. When someone loses their health and you can return it therapeutically, you heal, you help, you support, you give someone back their well-being, their mental, spiritual, emotional health, that's השבת אבידה hashavas aveida. If the Torah applauds someone who gives back an object, all the more so says the Gemara in סנהדרין Sanhedrin, how valuable the person who gives back not the object, but the person who gives back a person's very life, a person's very health. And the אור החיים הקדוש Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh takes it yet even a step further. And the אור החיים Ohr Hachaim says the following. פרשה זו באה ללמדנו בפרטות חובת התוכחות parsha zu ba'ah l'lamdeinu b'pratus chovas ha'tochachos, שצריכים בני קהל צדיקי עולם לעשות לשם she'tzrichim bnei kehal tzaddikei olam la'asos la'shem. ואילם צדיקים יקראו לצד מעלתם אחים v'eilam tzaddikim yikra'u letzad ma'alatam achim, כמו האומר בשיר השירים k'mo ha'omer b'Shir haShirim, שקינוי זה הוא מעלה יתרה מכל הקינויים שהזכרנו she'kinui zeh hu ma'aleh yeseira mi'kol ha'kinuyim she'hizkarnu. You know what the highest nickname that the Torah can give someone is? The more righteous you are, the more of a brother. A holy brother. Holy brothers. If you care about fellow Jews and you are a righteous person in your own right, you're a holy brother. ומהם ציווה השם כי תראה את שור u'meihem tziva Hashem ki sir'eh es shor. אלה הם בני אדם שנמשלו כבהמות Eileh hem bnei adam she'nimshlu k'beheimos. והם צאן קדשים v'hem tzon kodshim. ולכך קוראם שור ושה u'l'kach koram shor v'seh. אחיך שהוא הקדוש ברוך הוא achicha shehu HaKadosh Baruch Hu. ויחס לשם זה להראים משם זה כי אם הקדושים ומצווה השם לצדיקים v'yachas l'shem zeh leha'ra'im misham zeh ki im ha'kedoshim u'metzaveh Hashem la'tzadikim. So says the, you know what's going on over here? It's not talking about an object, and it's not talking about restoring someone's health, it's talking about giving someone back their נשמה neshama. לא תראה שור אחיך lo sir'eh shor achicha. Don't see the animal of your brother. Who is your brother? השם Hashem. He's your holy brother. השם Hashem, the one you're devoted and dedicated and love. Don't see the animal of your brother. And who's the animal? The animal is the individual living with no Torah. The individual who gives into their desire, their appetite, their urge, who's living like an animal with an animal instinct and an animal impulse and animal compulsion. The individual is living like an animal. Don't see them wandering and turn away. השב תשיבם לאחיך hashev teshivem l'achicha. Bring them back לאחיך l'achicha to your brother who is השם Hashem. Says the, this is the Torah's mandate for קירוב kiruv. For caring about a fellow Jew. So someone bagled you on line at the supermarket. They said אוי oy because they wanted you to know that they're Jewish. Somebody said גוט שבס gut Shabbos or said, hey, when is ראש השנה Rosh Hashanah this year? because they wanted you to know they're Jewish. You can't והתעלמת מהם v'hisalamta meihem. Don't close your eyes, don't walk away, don't neglect them. השב תשיבם לאחיך hashev teshivem l'achicha. Bring him back to השם Hashem. Invite them for a meal, encourage, inspire, put them on an email list, send them a link to be able to learn. Says the אור החיים הקדוש Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh, a third even yet higher level. So the פסוק pasuk itself is talking about that in order to be a good Jew, a good person, it's not enough to not be bad, to be good, you have to actually do good. If you see someone lost something, bring it back, give it back to them. Says the Gemara, a step further, give someone back their health. Says the, even a step further, give someone back their נשמה neshama. הקם תקים עמו hakem takim imo. We're going to skip that פסוק pasuk. מעקה ma'akeh. Next, the Torah introduces us to the concept of מעקה ma'akeh, the obligation of building a fence. We've studied this in the past also. We've seen many different beautiful interpretations of what does it mean? כי תבנה בית חדש ki sivneh bayis chadash. Why is it a new house? The obligation to put a fence or a railing is not only on a house. It's on a staircase. In fact, the Gemara learns from here you're not allowed to keep anything dangerous. You can't raise a pitbull in your house. You can't have anything dangerous in your house because that's a violation of ועשית מעקה לגגך v'asisa ma'akeh l'gagecha. You're supposed to make a safe space for people. So why is it only on a בית חדש bayis chadash, a new house, they have to put up the fence? It should be what if you, if you buy a used house and it doesn't have a fence? And it's not just true about the roof. It's true for from the Midwest, the roof. It's true about the balcony, it's true about the staircase, it's true about the porch. It's true about any elevated area or any dangerous area. ועשית מעקה לגגך v'asisa ma'akeh l'gagecha. You have to make a fence around your גג gag. We've spoken about this all in the past, but I want to share a new insight with you this week from the הייליגע סלונים רבה heilige Slonimer Rebbe, the great, whose זכותו יגן עלינו zechuso yagen aleinu. And he asked this question. מדוע נאמר מצוות מעקה דווקא בבית חדש madua ne'emar mitzvas ma'akeh davka b'bayis chadash? Why is it specifically with the new house? And why נאמר מצות מעקה דוקא לגגך ne'emar mitzvas ma'akeh davka l'gagecha? Why specifically for your roof? It's true about a pit. It's true about anything that could damage or harm. So he explains based on the בית אברהם Bais Avrohom on the פסוק יעזוב רשע דרכו pasuk ya'azov rasha darko, שלא די שיעשה תשובה על פרט זה או אחר shelo dai sheya'aseh tshuva al prat zeh o acher, אלא יעזוב לגמרי את הדרך שהלך בו ela ya'azov l'gamrei es ha'derech she'halach bo, ויקח עצמו לדרך חדשה v'yikach atzmo l'derech chadasha. יעזוב רשע דרכו ya'azov rasha darko. A wicked person needs to abandon their path. It's not enough to just make a tweak. You have to altogether change your direction, your trajectory. וזהו פירוש כי תבנה בית חדש v'zehu peirush ki sivneh bayis chadash. Listen to his. כאשר יהודי רואה שכל מהותו מופרכת ka'asher yehudi ro'eh she'kol mahuso mufreches. When a Jew sees, I'm going down the wrong path. I'm hanging out with the wrong people. I'm living the wrong life. This is not the kind of family I want, the kind of שבת Shabbos table I want, the kind of children I want, the kind of דאווענען davening I want. This is not who I want to be. So what happens? מה יעלה ומה יעשה תשובה על פרט זה או אחר ma ya'aleh u'ma ya'aseh tshuva al prat zeh o acher? You're going to tweak, you're going to change, you're going to adjust this the small specific thing? No. חפץ הוא לבנות בית חדש chafetz hu livnos bayis chadash, לבנות את כל מהותו מחדש livnos es kol mahuso mei'chadash. כי תבנה בית חדש ki sivneh bayis chadash doesn't talking about a physical house. It means when you want to rebuild your life, your home, who you are. And what's the עצה eitzah? ועשית מעקה לגגך V'asisa ma'akeh l'gagecha. Make a fence around it. The fence is יראת שמיים yiras shamayim. מעקה הוא גדרים וסייגים ma'akeh hu gedorim v'siyagim. A fence means, this goes back to the beginning of the ווארט vort at the beginning of the פרשה parsha that we said from Rav Volbe, כי תצא ki seitzei. It means that if you want to make changes in your life, then you need to put fences in your life. You need to draw boundaries in your life. It can't be all things, all times, all people, just do it, whatever makes you happy, obey your thirst. If you want to have a meaningful, purposeful life, you need to have a fence. You need to have healthy boundaries and borders. You need to be able to know right from wrong and live within that space, not כי תצא ki seitzei, not to go out from it. So says the סלונים רבה Slonimer Rebbe, that is the message. כי תבנה בית חדש ki sivneh bayis chadash. You're ready to turn over a new leaf? You want to become a new person? You want to make a change in your life? ועשית מעקה לגגך v'asisa ma'akeh l'gagecha. Then make a fence, make a boundary, decide who you want to become and what the best of yourself looks like, and then put a fence around it to protect you and to keep you on that path, to keep you in that direction, to keep you going along those lines, and to keep you true to that promise of who you have pledged to become and who you say you want to be. פרק כג פסוק ח perek kaf gimmel pasuk ches. Moving right along. Next פרק perek. Such beautiful מצוות mitzvos here one by one, we don't have time to obviously explore them all. Beginning of the next פרק perek, page 1,052, the Artscroll Stone חומש Chumash. לא יקח lo yikach. Hold on. I have the wrong place. כב kaf beis. No, כג ח kaf gimmel ches. Sorry. כג ח kaf gimmel ches. Page 1054. 1,054. לא תתעב אדומי כי אחיך הוא lo seta'ev Adomi ki achicha hu. לא תתעב מצרי כי גר היית בארצו lo seta'ev Mitzri ki ger hayisa v'artzo. בנים אשר יולדו להם דור שלישי יבוא להם בקהל השם banim asher yivladu lahem dor shlishi yavo lahem bikhal Hashem. Don't reject someone from Edom. Why? Because he's your brother. And don't reject an Egyptian. Why? Because you were a stranger in his land. Don't be harsh to the Egyptian, because yeah, we do have a bad history with the Egyptian, but you also had a long and illustrious history in his land when there's a famine and you need to run and there was nowhere else to go, you found a place, you found a place. The Gemara learns from here a very powerful message about how far הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov has to go, how far recognition of good has to go. It's very powerful. I'll tell it to you from an insight from my great uncle, all of a shalom, זכרונו לברכה zichrono l'vracha. My great uncle, רב ישראל נולמן Rav Yisroel Nulman, my uncle Lou, Lou Nulman, רב ישראל נולמן Rav Yisroel Nulman, who was an educator and for a very long time in America and ultimately lived in Israel, he wrote a couple of ספרים sfarim, very interesting ספרים sfarim, where he took פתגמין pitgamin, he took Yiddish expressions and tried to show how what became popular Yiddish expressions actually originated in חז\"ל Chazal. That these Yiddish expressions were not just folk expressions of a Jewish culture, but actually embedded within them were attitudes of our rabbis, were brilliant wisdom of חז\"ל Chazal. So I'm not going to try to say this in Yiddish because I'll butcher it. But in one of his entries on this, he's talking about הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov. And he says the following. He says the following. He begins by saying, זיידע יש לי מטמון בשבילך Zeide, yesh li matmon bishvilcha. One of his grandchildren said, Zeide, I have a, I have a wonderful treasure for you. I found a פתגם ביידיש pitgam b'Yiddish, ובטוח אני שתהנה ממילים אלו u'vatuach ani she'tehaneh mi'milim eilu, and you're going to enjoy them very much. And he said, what does this mean? What's really going on in this פתגם pitgam? What's really going on in this Yiddish expression? So here's the Yiddish expression. You ready? I'll try. Don't judge me. חובות דארף מען בצאלן choivos darf men betzalen. I don't know how to pronounce it. בן אדם צריך לשלם חובותיו ben adam tzarich l'shalem chovosav. A person has to pay off their obligations. You have to pay off your debts. However, טובות דארף מען שולדיק בלייבן toivos darf men shuldig blaiben. לטובות צריכים להישאר חייבים l'toivos tzrichim l'hisha'er chayavim. When it comes to a person has to pay off their debts, but when it comes to the good things people did for you, you have to remain indebted. That's the Yiddish expression. The Yiddish expression is always try to pay your debts except for the good things people did for you, always try to remain indebted. So that's what Uncle Lou's grandson, I don't know which one it was, ישראל נולמן Yisroel Nulman's grandson brought him this Yiddish expression and he said, now I'm going to try to find what is really going on here. So he said, here's his suggestion. Here's his suggestion about what it means, the following. On the one hand the Gemara in כתובות דף פו Kesubos daf pei vov says, פריעת בעל חוב מצוה prias baal chov mitzva. We have a Torah obligation to pay off our debt. You borrowed money, you borrowed an object, you have an obligation to return, to restore, to make the other person whole. That's the Gemara says, פריעת בעל חוב prias baal chov is a מצוה mitzva. It's a מצוה mitzva to pay back. So what does the second half of this Yiddish expression mean? טובות דארף מען שולדיק בלייבן toivos darf men shuldig blaiben. What does it mean? But when it comes to the טובות toivos, the good things, you should remain indebted. What does that mean? So he suggests based on רב ירוחם Rav Yerucham. רב ירוחם Rav Yerucham, the great משגיח mashgiach of the מיר Mir in his sefer דעת תורה Da'as Torah, פרשת כי תצא Parshas Ki Seitzei says the following. Our פסוק pasuk. It says you're not allowed to hate, you're not allowed to take revenge, you're not allowed to carry a grudge against Egyptians. Why? כי גר היית בארצו ki ger hayisa v'artzo. You were a stranger in their land. And רש\"י Rashi here says the following, אף על פי שזרקו זכריהם ליאור af al pi she'zarku zechreihem l'yaor. What do you mean I can't carry a grudge? They threw my ancestors in the river. They drowned babies. They were murderous, genocidal maniacs. And I have to be nice to them these generations later? Why? Says רש\"י Rashi, שהיו להם אכסניה בשעת הדחק she'hayu lahem achsanya b'sha'as ha'dchak. Because before they did all that, they gave us a place to stay when we were hungry and we were tired and we were running, they gave us, they were hospitable. So we remember and we hold on to their hospitality to the point that you're not allowed to bear a grudge or take revenge even after all that they did. It's actually a very interesting insight on behind the בימה bima last week we talked about this story of this Israeli hockey player who signed to play for the Auschwitz team, and the controversy that created of many people who were very upset and saw the individual, saw this Israeli hockey player as a traitor. How could you play for team Auschwitz? Auschwitz is synonymous with genocide, extermination, and murder of Jews. So here, the point is not necessarily saying they're equal or applying it. But here the Torah says you can't bear a grudge against the Egyptian. Because true, the Egyptian is synonymous with slavery and servitude and oppression and persecution, but don't also forget the centuries of living there and living well and Jewish culture and Jewish renaissance and the hospitality that they provided and that they offered. So says, רב ישראל נולמן Rav Yisroel Nulman says my great uncle, זכרונו לברכה zichrono l'vracha, maybe that's what this expression means. He says it's very interesting. Can you pay off a debt? If someone did a טובה toiva for you, if someone lent you a hundred dollars, not only can you, but you have to pay off that debt by giving them the hundred dollars back. But if somebody did a generous gesture, if somebody did a kind deed for you, can you ever pay it back? And the answer is no. A person should maintain that debt and continue to feel indebted. And that's why the expression is not that you pay off the good. It's not תשלום טוב tashlum tov. Don't pay off the טוב tov, the good, for someone did, what's the attitude of the approach or the quality we're supposed to have? Be a מכיר טוב makir tov, recognize the good and remain indebted to it for the rest of your life. Don't seek to pay it off and think you're done and move on. Maintain and carry that debt with you forever and as you go forward. And maybe, says רב ישראל נולמן Rav Yisroel Nulman, that's the deeper meaning of this expression, of this Yiddish פתגם pitgam, which means your debts you should pay off, but the טובות toivos, the good things people did for you, you should remain indebted. I'm sure this is a much sweeter דבר תורה dvar Torah if someone could correctly pronounce the יִידִישׁ Yiddish. So I apologize to you for destroying the Yiddish. But what a beautiful insight of רב ירוחם Rav Yerucham. And it's a difficult application to think that you can't bear the grudge against the Egyptian, to think somehow you're meant to continue to hold on and focus with some sense of an appreciation of the good that they did. How is that possible? How could that be? Rav Dessler writes in מכתב מאליהו Michtav M'Eliyahu, if that's how you have to feel to the Egyptian who even though the good is well overshadowed by the bad, imagine the הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov, the gratitude that we're meant and obligated to continue to carry and feel towards those whose good was not overshadowed, who only did good, who only did good towards us. This is also a vort, by the way, I think the חתם סופר Ksav Sofer, when Leah names him יהודה Yehuda. Why is he called יהודה Yehuda? He's called, יהודה Yehuda means I'm grateful that I have יהודה Yehuda. And what was different? When the Gemara says Leah was the first one to ever say thank you, what do you mean? אדם Adam never said thank you? אברהם יצחק ויעקב Avraham, Yitzchak v'Yaakov? What are you talking about? Leah is the first one to say thank you? נח Noach built built him his מזבח mizbeach. What do you mean Leah is the first to say thank you? The answer is others had said thank you, but they said a thank you that paid off a debt. You did something nice, I said thank you, now we're even Steven. Leah was the first one who said, I'm going to continue to say thank you. Every time she called יהודה's Yehuda's name, she was saying thank you again and again and again and again. And that was the message. She never stopped saying thank you. הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov, not תשלום הטוב tashlum hatov. Not paying off the good, but recognizing the good and remaining and retaining that feeling and that sense of being indebted. Okay, let's keep going. Towards the end of the פרשה parsha, פרק כה פסוק יג perek kaf hei pasuk yud gimmel. לא יהיה לך בכיסך אבן ואבן גדולה וקטנה lo yihiyeh l'cha b'chisecha even va'even gdola u'ktana. This is the Torah's mandate or obligation towards being honest in business, honest in business, having integrity in our lives, in our interpersonal relationships, in our business conduct, having integrity. Don't have in your pocket two stones, one large and one small. Don't be duplicitous and don't be a fraud and don't be a fake and don't be corrupt. לא יהיה לך בביתך איפה ואיפה גדולה וקטנה lo yihiyeh l'cha b'veisecha eifa v'eifa gdola u'ktana. And don't have in your house two, two measures, two scales, one large and one small. אבן שלמה וצדק יהיה לך even shleima v'tzedek yihiyeh lach, איפה שלמה וצדק יהיה לך eifa shleima v'tzedek yihiyeh lach. You have to have a perfect and honest weight and measure. למען יאריכון ימיך על האדמה אשר השם אלקיך נותן לך l'ma'an ya'arichun yamecha al ha'adama asher Hashem Elokecha nosein lach, so that you live a long life, so you achieve longevity. כי תועבת השם אלקיך כל עושה אלה כל עושה עול ki soavas Hashem Elokecha kol oseh eileh kol oseh avel. We throw around that word תועבה to'eiva to describe lifestyles that the Torah rejects. But you know the word תועבה to'eiva, abomination, also applies to people who are dishonest. When someone's dishonest or corrupt in business, when they cut corners, cheat, when they misreport on their income taxes, they are, they should be shunned and shamed for the community as much as any other abomination. It's an abomination to conduct oneself in that way, to behave in that manner. Rav Volbe here has a very interesting insight. Rav Volbe notes in the פסוק pasuk, what do you mean that you shouldn't have in your pocket, you shouldn't have in your home? What if you have it there, but you don't use it? Rashi here explains the juxtaposition of the commandment. What do we have here? The prohibition of having dishonest weights and measures is right next to, what is the very last paragraph in the פרשה parsha? זכור Zachor. פרשת זכור Parshas Zachor, before פורים Purim. Can anyone remember still before פורים Purim? It was like another lifetime. Before פורים Purim, can anyone still remember that? It feels like not this year, it feels like 400 years ago. So we read פרשת זכור Parshas Zachor. זכור את אשר עשה לך עמלק Zachor es asher asa l'cha Amalek. Remember what עמלק Amalek did. We have that obligation of remembering. If you didn't hear פרשת זכור Parshas Zachor, you pay attention to this week's Torah reading and you can fulfill that obligation of פרשת זכור Parshas Zachor. So רש\"י Rashi here says, what's the juxtaposition? Why do we have the story of זכור Zachor of עמלק Amalek right next to the Torah's mandate to have only honest weights and measures? So רש\"י Rashi tells us, the reason is, if you're dishonest with your weights and measures, then fear and attack from your enemy, because עמלק's Amalek's coming for you. What makes you vulnerable to עמלק Amalek? What precipitates עמלק's Amalek's attack against you? If you're dishonest in business. What does one thing have to do with the other? Why specifically dishonesty in business? Why not say עמלק Amalek will attack you if you don't keep שבת Shabbos, and you don't keep כשר kosher, and you don't keep יום כיפור Yom Kippur, if you speak לשון הרע lashon hara? Why specifically is it dishonest weights and weights and measures? So Rav Volbe quotes רבנו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah in משלי Mishlei on משלי Mishlei who says that even if a person doesn't use those dishonest weights and measures, but simply keeps it in their house, that alone is an abomination to השם Hashem. Just to own them, just to keep them. The גרא Gra adds even if you weigh the merchandise with the faulty measure and then you compensate for the difference so you never cheat out the other person, still, you are an abomination to השם Hashem. Why? Because using these deceitful weights causes a person to be distant from השם Hashem. Why is that? And how does that work? Listen to this insight. Listen to this insight of the נצי\"ב Netziv. The נצי\"ב Netziv says, you know how that works and you know why that happens and you know why this is juxtaposed in our פרשה parsha? Says the נצי\"ב Netziv, you see when it comes to stealing from somebody, why does A steal from B? Because of greed. A wanted what B had. A wants B's wallet, pocketbook, laptop, flat screen. A wants what B has. Or A is worried that they won't have anything. A is worried they won't have food to eat or a roof over their head. So out of fear or out of greed, A steals from B. When you have dishonest weights and measures in a premeditated way, if you've institutionalized your deceit and your theft, then it's not just out of a moment of weakness or out of a moment of fear, it's actually out of a moment of heresy. And why is it out of a moment of heresy? Because you don't believe God will provide, and you don't believe God gives you what you need and what you deserve. A person who steals on occasion out of greed, you swindle with dishonest weights and measures, it's more than greed, you've introduced corruption, corruption. Even if all you do is own them and don't use them, you are leaving something corrupt. It's a lack of faith. So if you have dishonest in business, Rav Schechter points this out all the time. If you cheat on your taxes, you're not just violating בין אדם לחברו bein adam l'chaveiro, you're stealing from your fellow man when you cheat on your taxes. Why? Because your fellow man has to pay more taxes, because somebody still has to pay for the sewers and the mail. Oh, let's not talk about the mail. Someone still has to pay for the trash to be picked up and for the traffic lights to be installed. So if if your neighbor doesn't pay because they cheat on their taxes, you'll have to pay more. They've stolen literally from you. However, it's not just stealing from fellow man, it's stealing from God. It's stealing from God. How? Because you don't believe he will provide. It's an act of heresy of כפירה kfira. And that's the connection to עמלק Amalek. עמלק Amalek live a life of מקרה mikreh. עמלק Amalek are all about chance and happenstance. עמלק Amalek are all about randomness. עמלק Amalek are all about living life where you say there is no God, אשר קרך בדרך asher karcha baderech, לשון מקרה lashon mikreh. Everything is just מקרה mikreh, it's all just chance. Well, if you are corrupt, that you cheat and steal, you've institutionalized corruption. You don't believe that God will provide what you need and deserve, then you're no better than עמלק Amalek. Then you also have eliminated God from the equation. Then you're also living without God in your life, says the נצי\"ב Netziv, and that is the connection between the two. That is why these two פרשיות parshiyos are juxtaposed one to the other. We have to live with a sense of there's a השם Hashem in our life. I'll end by telling you an amazing, Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev, a beautiful Berdichever. He says the following. Say it now or save it for another time. You know what, we're out of time. I'm going to save it for another time. What an incredible קדושת לוי Kedushas Levi. I got to keep you wanting more. Make sure you come back next week. So we saw a smattering of some of the laws of the פרשה parsha. There is so much more. Honest weights and measures, תועבה to'eiva, it's an abomination. Here are the ORB, our ועד הכשרות vaad hakashrus, we check not only the ingredients at our stores, but we calibrate the scales a couple times a year. We go and make sure that if they sell you half a pound of coleslaw, that it's טאקע takeh half a pound. Because we're as worried not only about the ingredients, we're as worried about the righteousness of the scales because that's a תועבה to'eiva. It's an abomination to God when it's corrupt. Making sure that there are honest weights and scales. So join me tomorrow morning, 8:15 from מסילת ישרים Mesilas Yesharim, 10 minutes, 8:45 for Living with אמונה Emunah. Tomorrow night, behind the בימה bima, we're going behind the בימה bima with Beatie Deutsch, who is fighting to be able to participate in the Olympics. This amazing, um, תורה Torah observant woman who runs faster than anyone you know and who qualifies for the Olympics, but it's being held on שבת Shabbos. So hear more about that tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. Until then, everyone, stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy. If you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe to our channel. Even if you're not, please consider it. Have a fantastic day. [Error processing chunk 3]
