Transcript
Good morning, thank you to our sponsors for the year, dear friends Becky and Avi Katz and family, in memory of David Grossman, Becky's father, מנחם דוד בן מנחם מנש Menachem David ben Menachem Manash, whose נשמה neshama should have an עליה aliyah. And also thank for the sponsorship for this morning's class on פרשת ויגש Parshas Vayigash in particular, our good friends Lester and Judith Henner, and Benji and Zelda Henner, on occasion of the שלושים shloshim of Egan Heller, of Lester's father, יצחק בן יעקב Yitzchak ben Yaakov, his נשמה neshama should continue to have an עליה aliyah and they should find comfort during this period of mourning and of grieving. I'll remind you of our new policy that we announced last week. Please turn your phones off or to vibrate. If a phone rings, you have to join Friends of BRS. If you already joined, you have to pay the same amount a second time. So it's in your wallet's best interest to make sure right now that your phone is off. It's in my interest that your phone not be off, but it's in your interest for it to be off.פרשת ויגש Parshas Vayigash. This is it, the amazing storyline of ספר בראשית Sefer Bereishis continues to unfold. And as I mentioned last week, though we know how it turns out, and despite knowing what happens, nevertheless, it's a nail-biter. We're at the edge of our seat. What's going to happen, what's going to be? ויגש אליו יהודה ויאמר, בי אדוני ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני, ואל יחר אפך בעבדך כי כמוך כפרעה Vayigash eilav Yehuda vayomer, Bi adoni, yidaber na avdecha davar b'oznei adoni, v'al yichar apcha b'avdecha, ki chamocha k'Pharaoh. Yehuda, ויגש Vayigash, he stands up and he steps out and he approaches Yosef, and he confronts him. And instead of being passive and instead of being afraid, and instead of living with an intimidation and an apologetic, Yehuda now asserts himself. He steps up and he steps forward. As I mentioned every year, if you look at the end of פרשת מקץ Parshas Miketz, you see that it's very peculiar, because how does פרשת מקץ Parshas Miketz end? Yehuda's in the middle of a conversation with Yosef. ויאמר יהודה, מה נאמר לאדוני מה נדבר ומה נצטדק Vayomer Yehuda, ma nomar l'adoni, ma n'daber u'ma nitz'tadak? Last week's parsha ended and Yehuda's talking to Yosef. So though we have a one-week break in between, from שבת Shabbos to שבת Shabbos, although we do שניים מקרא shnayim mikra and we hear it Monday and Thursday, but we have a week break in between, so to us it feels like the storyline has a break, but it doesn't. Miketz runs right into Vayigash. Yehuda and Yosef are in the middle of a conversation, and yet, nevertheless, despite the fact that they are already in the middle of a conversation, ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda. What's different? What is the change or the transition that takes place here in this, in this conversation? What is, what is changing? So, that word ויגש Vayigash is the difference. And we relive that ויגש Vayigash each and every day, three times a day. That word ויגש Vayigash means to step forward. Yehuda steps forward. And we relive it, I'm not going to tell you now. I'm going to talk about it tomorrow at the סיום הש\"ס Siyum HaShas that we're hosting. I hope that you'll all join for, we'll speak about what it means particularly in this day and age and in this time, our responsibility to step up and stand out for one another. To not just be able to have casual conversations, and not just to be able to casually advocate, to בויגש b'Vayigash, to step up is a whole new level and our responsibility to do it. If you've not yet bought tickets, you can still come and buy at the door tomorrow. Several thousand have already purchased, going to be an enormous event. Promises to be a beautiful, beautiful day with a live hookup to the סיום siyum in New York. 11:00 to 1:00 is the local South Florida סיום siyum. 1:00 is the live hookup to New York. Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro is speaking, Rabbi Yisrael Meir Drukh is here from Israel, with personalized דברי ברכה divrei bracha from Rav Chaim Kanievsky for this סיום siyum. Simcha Leiner concert, it's gonna be food for sale, it's gonna be a beautiful event. All the details are available southfloridasiyum.org, South Florida סיום siyum.org. You can get all the information about where to go and you can buy tickets there at the door. So we'll talk more about ויגש Vayigash there. But the אמרי חיים Imrei Chaim, the Vizhnitzer has another interpretation. Says the אמרי חיים Imrei Chaim, ויגש אליו יהודה vayigash eilav Yehuda, על פי מאמרו של הרבי הקדוש ר' נחום מקאברין al pi mamaro shel haRebbe haKadosh Rav Nachum m'Kobrinovich, לפרוש מאמר חז\"ל L'fareish maamar Chazal. The גמרא Gemara in ברכות Brachos says, חסידים הראשונים היו שוהים שעה אחת קודם התפילה ומתפללים כדי שיכוונו Chasidim haRishonim hayu shohim sha'ah achat kodem ha'tefillah, u'mispallelim kedei she'yichavnu. We only when we reference this, we think of part of it. We know that the early righteous, the early pious ones would actually designate time for mindfulness, for his התבודדות hisbodedus. They would sit and think and contemplate and clear their head. They would what we talk say in our now modern language is they'd meditate. Before they would begin דאווענען davening, they would דאווען daven. Before they'd begin דאווענען davening, they would meditate. They'd spend a whole hour, and the commentators on the Gemara that the Mishna Berurah tells us, that's the origin of פסוקי דזמרה Pesukei D'Zimra. We say it in a whole lot less than an hour, depending what מנין minyan you go to. You swallow it at a different rate than another מנין minyan. But פסוקי דזמרה Pesukei D'Zimra was designed, it was designated to be that time that before we begin that conversation with the Almighty, we give it some thought, and we clear our head and we shut out distractions. We create a ritual of putting our phone on airplane mode or turning it all the way off. We have some meditative formula in which we're able to visually clear out our head and focus exclusively so that when we have that conversation, when we take those three steps forward, we're having a meaningful conversation with Hashem. We take a few deep breaths. That's the שעה אחת sha'ah achas. When you spend that time before you daven, you take deep breaths. You know what happens when you take deep breaths? The word נשמה neshama, the word נשימה neshima come from the same letters. We are in touch with our soul when we take deep breaths. We're always running and running and breathing so shallow and moving and and we are distracted and our נשמה neshama suffers. When a person carves that space for solitude, for thought, for reflectiveness, for mindfulness, for meditation, then we reconnect to our נשמה neshama, to our core being, and to our healthy self. And now we're ready to have a conversation with Hashem. So, שעה אחת sha'ah achas they would spend an hour קודם התפילה kodem ha'tefillah, before דאווענען davening, ומתפללים כדי שיכוונו u'mispallelim kedei she'yichavnu. They would daven that they have an effective davening. And says the Vizhnitzer Rebbe, that's what's going on over here. שבאותה שעה קודם התפילה הם מתפללים שיוכלו לכוון היטב בעצם התפילה B'osah sha'ah kodem ha'tefillah hem mispallelim she'yuchlu l'chavein heitev b'etzem ha'tefillah. We sometimes get up, we daven, we close the סידור siddur, and we don't remember saying one word. We find ourselves at the end of davening and we don't remember the journey. We get to the destination and we have no idea how we got there. We have no idea how we got there. Have you ever driven somewhere and you pulled into that parking lot, and it was an hour drive from your home, but you don't remember one turn, stepping on the gas, stepping on the brake, you remember nothing about it. You were listening to something, you were engrossed in conversation, you arrive, and you weren't present for any part of the journey. And for too many of us, that's the davening experience. We arrive at עלינו Aleinu, the שיר של יום Shir Shel Yom, we close the סידור siddur, and we don't remember how we how we got there. Ya, da'as zeh peirush tamidi b'Baal Shem Tov haKadosh. And the בעל שם טוב Baal Shem Tov said, so therefore, what do we need to do? We shouldn't just bemoan the fact, oh, there goes another davening. I didn't concentrate, I didn't have כוונה kavanah, I wasn't focused, I forfeited the opportunity. Before davening, אין קדושה בלי הכנה ein kedusha b'li hachanah. You're not going to experience holiness, you're not going to experience transformation if we don't prepare, if we don't put in the effort in advance. The preparing for davening is to daven that we have a successful davening. That's what we say when we say ה' שפתי תפתח Hashem sefasai tiftach ופי יגיד תהילתך u'fi yagid tehilasecha. Hashem, open my lips and give me the words. That opening pasuk which comes from תהילים Tehillim, forget the context right now, although it is important to make meaningful our davening, we'll get to it in סידור siddur snippets in about 27,000 years when we get to. But ה' שפתי תפתח Hashem sefasai tiftach. Hashem, move my lips. Hashem, I'm about to approach you to have a conversation, help me find the right words. Help me be present and mindful. Help me be focused. Help it be what it's meant to be. And said the Baal Shem, that's what we say when we say אנא ה' הושיעה נא Ana Hashem hoshiah na. אין נא אלא לשון תפילה Ein na ela lashon tefillah. Whenever you see נ\"א nun aleph, that word נא na is the language of prayer, of davening, of asking. So, אנא ה' Ana Hashem, הושיעה hoshiah נא na. מבקשים אנו מהשם יתברך, אנא ה' הושיעה Mevakshim anu mei'Hashem Yisbarach, Ana Hashem hoshiah, נא na. נוכל להתפלל כראוי nuchal l'hispallel k'raui. אנא ה' הושיעה Ana Hashem hoshiah. Hashem, save me, נא na, when I come to daven. When I come to daven, save me from someone talking to me, save me from being distracted, save me from my mind wandering, save me from not liking the חזן chazzan, save me from a bad חזן chazzan who I shouldn't like. אנא ה' Ana Hashem. Hashem, הצליחה hatzlichah, save me, bring me success. אנא ה' הושיעה Ana Hashem hoshiah, נא na. אנא ה' הצליחה Ana Hashem hatzlichah, נא na, when I come to daven, help me, empower me. וזהו V'zehu, says the Vizhnitzer, and that's the פסוק pasuk. ויגש יהודה ויאמר בי אדוני Vayigash Yehuda vayomer bi adoni. א' ד' נ' י' Aleph, daled, nun, yud. הכוונה לשם יתברך hakavanah l'Shem Yisbarach. עזרינו נא רבונו של עולם Azreinu na, Ribbono shel Olam, ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני yidaber na avdecha davar b'oznei adoni. שיוכל להתפלל תפילה ראויה כדבעי sheyuchal l'hispallel tefillah re'uyah kid'ba'i. So again, it's a חסידישע דרש Chassidishe drash in the פסוק pasuk, but certainly not the פשט pshat, פשט pshat. ויגש אליו ויאמר בי אדוני Vayigash eilav vayomer bi adoni. ויאמר Vayomer. A person should say, בי אדוני bi Adonai. Person should say, ה' Hashem, ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני yidaber na avdecha davar b'oznei adoni. Give me the words, give me the focus, give me the concentration. We sometimes forget we're allowed to daven for the spiritual thing. In the אמונה emunah shiur on Wednesday mornings, we sometimes talk about davening to Hashem, asking Hashem to help us with אמונה emunah. It makes no sense whatsoever. It's illogical. I should ask the person that I'm struggling to believe exists to help me have the confidence that he exists. Yeah, that's exactly what you should do. That's exactly what we should do. Hashem, help me believe in you. Hashem, help me connect to you. Hashem, help me hear you. Hashem, help me feel you in my life. Says the Vizhnitzer Rebbe, that's what's going on here in the opening פסוק pasuk. The כלי יקר Kli Yakar, Rav Luntschitz asks, it's a little presumptuous of Yehuda, no? He says, אל יחר אפך בעבדך Al yichar apcha b'avdecha. Don't be so angry. Yosef, relax. He doesn't know it's Yosef. Viceroy, however he addressed him, אל יחר אפך בעבדך Al yichar apcha b'avdecha. Please don't be angry. Please don't be frustrated. Please don't have any sense of rage. כי כמוך כפרעה Ki chamocha k'Pharaoh. Because you're like Pharaoh. You're all powerful, you don't need to be threatened, you don't need to be angry. Please don't be angry. And the כלי יקר Kli Yakar is bothered. If Yehuda is about to confront Yosef and beg for his brother's freedom and his life, if Yehuda's about to confront Yosef and take his own life into the balance, isn't it a little presumptuous and brazen to tell Yosef, don't be angry? אל יחר אפך בעבדך Al yichar apcha b'avdecha? I read an article a few months ago. Said the worst thing to tell someone when they're upset is, what's the worst word to use to someone when they're upset? Relax. If you've been on the other side of that, you know that when you're upset about something and someone tells you, \"Relax,\" you know the one thing you will not feel is relaxed. The worst thing you could tell somebody who's upset about something is, \"Relax. Relax.\" Relax. So, isn't that what Yehuda's telling Yosef? \"Listen, Yosef, I'm about to confront you. I'm about to find the courage to confront you. First thing, relax.\" \"What are you so bent out of shape about? Relax. Why are you so angry? Relax.\" Now, isn't that a poor strategy? Asks the כלי יקר Kli Yakar? So the כלי יקר Kli Yakar has an insight which is so critically important. And we've shared many times in many contexts, but it's always worth repeating and reviewing because it needs חזק chizuk, because we all need work on it. And the insight is the following. כעס Ka'as, anger, clouds judgment. Anger is the most self-destructive character trait we could have. Anger is a pure emotion with no intellect whatsoever. Other character traits, stubbornness can be healthy when you stubbornly remain steadfast true to your principles and values. Envy, jealousy can be channeled in a healthy way. When you're jealous or envious of somebody else's righteousness or religious, spiritual aspiration or accomplishment, and you want, if you're jealous that you've heard so many people are finishing ש\"ס Shas with the דף יומי Daf Yomi, and you say, \"You know what? Come Sunday, I'm starting. I want to be part of the next of the next סיום siyum.\" And that envy or jealousy is channeled into motivating you to do more, it's healthy. All qualities can be channeled except for two. The רמב\"ם Rambam in הלכות דעות Hilchos Deios, the רמב\"ן Ramban in the letter to his son say there are two character traits that are categorically bad. They don't belong in our recipe in any measure whatsoever. A מידה middah is a measure. When we talk about human qualities, when we talk about working on our behavior, we talk about מידות middos. A מידה middah is a measure because to what measure should I have any of these qualities? Well, no measure should you have arrogance and no measure should you have anger. כעס Ka'as is a מידה רעה middah ra'ah. It is a categorically bad and wicked and evil quality, because when a person gives in or is consumed by anger, they simply stop thinking. Science, research, the brain flow, all confirm the reptilian portion of the brain lights up, the animal, fight or flight, when you get angry, you forfeit your humanity. You're no longer thinking like a person. You're filled with such rage, you're consumed with such anger, you can't see clearly. And that's why it doesn't belong within our repertoire of character traits at all. It's categorically bad. We have to always work on ourselves to never ever be angry. Anger does not belong whatsoever. The Rambam writes sometimes you're allowed to act like you're angry. If your kid runs in the middle of the street and they need to know just how serious you mean, \"Don't ever do that again,\" you can act like you're angry as long as it's acting. But you can never actually feel the emotion of anger. We'll get to that with צפרדע Tzefardei'a. We've quoted many times the ברכת פרץ Birchas Peretz, the סטייפלער Steipler, if you hit the frog and it multiplied, why did they ever hit the frog again? Because when the frog came and they hit it and it multiplied, they got angry. So they stopped thinking, they hit it again, it kept multiplying. They brought a plague upon themselves. That is just how pernicious anger is. So says the כלי יקר Kli Yakar, Yehuda understood that כל זמן kol zman, as long as Yosef is angry, as long as this viceroy, as long as this imposing leader looks like he's filled with anger, he'll never hear an argument, no matter how compelling it is. No matter how persuasive Yehuda is, no matter how genuine he is in communicating, no matter how compelling he formulates the argument about why Yosef, the viceroy, needs to act differently, if he's angry, you stop thinking. When you're angry, you can't hear, you can't think clearly, you don't make rational right decisions. And so that's why he appeals to him. אל יחר אפך בעבדך Al yichar apcha b'avdecha. So Kli Yakar says, he wasn't telling him, \"Relax,\" in some condescending, \"Relax. Just relax. What's the big deal? Relax.\" Yehuda wasn't in some condescending relax, what he was telling him is, let's take a deep breath, let's calmly discuss this. I don't mean to upset you, you're not upsetting me. Let's get to a point where we can hear one another. A point of being able to hear one another. John Gottman, who you know I love quoting, the world's expert on healthy marriages, talks about, he showed us when I when I once took a two-day seminar with him, he he showed us how he when he counseled a couple, he had hooked them up to physiological monitors to be able to track how they were feeling. And he's seeing this couple, and it's a husband and wife and they're going at it about something. And the wife is just beating him down. She's just berating him, she's beating him down, she's expressing her frustration, she's telling him everything wrong with him and his mother and his father and his family and his life and his everything. And if you look at the monitors that are tracking both of them, you'll see her voice is like 200 decibels, and she is, you know, flailing her arms and she's going at him, and he's sitting there not moving a muscle in his body. He's just looking down, he's just absorbing the blows. So if you were to guess watching from the outside, you'd say that she's off the charts and he is calm, cool, collect. He shows the physiological monitors and she's calm, cool and collect. That's just how she's communicating, but really she's got it all together. And he is off the charts. His sweat glands and his blood pressure and his heart rate and his he's off the charts. He may be sitting there not moving a muscle, but he's about to have a coronary. He's about to have a brain aneurysm. And so Gottman talks about the notion of you need to know that the moment that you're talking to someone and they're in a position, they're incapable of listening or hearing. He talks about in marriage and communication, in any healthy relationship, parent and child, the idea of self-soothing, knowing how to take ourselves down, how to lower the blood pressure, how to lower the decibel level, how to lower the, how can we lower the temperature of the conversation so we can get back to a place where we can hear one another. He says that in every fight, there was a conversation that had to happen, but the fight happened instead. In every fight between a couple, parents and children, friends, in every fight, there was a conversation that needed to happen, but the fight happened instead. So how do you get back to a conversation instead of a fight? You need to. So that's what Yehuda is employing here. He's telling the viceroy, אל יחר אפך בעבדך Al yichar apcha b'avdecha. Self-soothe, calm down, let's both get back to a place where we can hear one another, because otherwise, it's like talking to a wall. Literally incapable of hearing or being moved or being changed. And we have to know that in our own relationships. When we're trying to reprimand or give feedback to a child, when God forbid there's a tension within a couple, when it rises to a level that you're not hearing one another, just abort, just stop. Because there's diminishing returns, no one's getting their point across and there's zero chance of reconciliation or closure. If you want to be able to break through, then you need to restore a sense of calm, of self-soothing, and then you can have the conversation. And therefore אל יחר אפך בעבדך al yichar apcha b'avdecha, this is not a condescending, \"Relax, Yosef, what's the big deal?\" This is a, let's self-soothe so that we can have a conversation. פסוק כ\"ב Pasuk kaf-beis.So Yehuda approaches him and he says, \"You asked us whether we have a father or a brother, and we told you that we have an old father, אב זקן וילד זקונים קטן av zakein v'yeled zekunim katan, ואחיו מת v'achiv meis, and we have a brother who already died.\" ויוותר הוא לבדו לאמו ואביו אהבו Vayivaser hu levado l'imo v'aviv aheivo. And he is left alone of his mother and his father loves him, our brother that you, we have one brother we didn't bring down. And we got we had one brother that we've got to bring back up. ותאמר אל עבדיך הורידוהו אלי Vatomer el avadecha horiduhu eilay. And you told us, bring him down. ואשימה עיני עליו V'asima eini alav. You want to see him. And we said, לא יוכל הנער לעזוב את אביו lo yuchal ha'na'ar la'azov es aviv. ועזב את אביו ומת V'azav es aviv va'meis. We told you that if he leaves his father, ומת va'meis, he's going to die. First of all, who's he? If he leaves his father, ומת va'meis, he will die. Who's the he he will die? Who's the he? יעקב Yaakov. לא יוכל הנער לעזוב את אביו Lo yuchal ha'na'ar la'azov es aviv. This young man can't leave his father. ועזב את אביו ומת V'azav es aviv va'meis. And if he leaves his father, he will die. Who's the he? The father. You could read the he as the son. If the son leaves his father, he'll die. You could read the he as the father. The simple understanding is the father. Yaakov has been through enough. Our father's been through enough. We already described to you that he is devastated. He's never recovered. He's inconsolable. He lost one son, he cannot lose another. He cannot lose another. We told you that. And you said, \"Too bad, bring him down.\" But it could be read not that the he who will die is the father, but he who will die is the is the son. The מודז'יץ רבה Modzitzer Rebbe, רבי ישראל מ'מודז'יץ Rebbe Yisrael of Modzitz says that we should read this pasuk at least homiletically, ועזב את אביו ומת v'azav es aviv va'meis. We should know that as we live our lives, that we have a father, אבינו שבשמים Avinu she'bashamayim. And as long as we attach ourselves to him, to our father, we are alive. And the moment we detach from him, the moment we begin to live our lives as if he isn't, that we are independent, that we are independently responsible for our success, and that we independently can take pride in all that goes well, and we don't need him and we don't know him and we don't relate to him and we don't talk to him and we don't see him and we don't feel him and we don't care about him, ועזב את אביו v'azav es aviv, the moment a person abandons, walks away, disconnects from God, ומת va'meis. You're dead even while you're alive. This מודז'יץ Modzitzer, רבי ישראל מ'מודז'יץ's Rebbe Yisrael of Modzitz's interpretation of this פסוק pasuk is the inverse of a פסוק pasuk in חבקוק Chabakuk. Again, Wednesday mornings in our אמונה emunah shiur we're talking about this because we've been learning a ספר sefer of Rav Volbe and the name of that ספר sefer is באמונתו יחיה b'emunaso yichyeh. צדיק באמונתו יחיה Tzaddik b'emunaso yichyeh. The name צבי Tzvi is an acronym. צבי, צדיק באמונתו יחיה Tzvi, Tzaddik b'emunaso yichyeh. The pasuk in חבקוק Chabakuk says, \"How are you alive? What is the source of being alive? צדיק באמונתו יחיה Tzaddik b'emunaso yichyeh.\" When you have אמונה emunah, you're alive. Your body could be failing you, you could be paralyzed, you could be terminal, you could have everything wrong in the world, but if you still see and feel and attach yourself and latch on to God, יחיה yichyeh, you are alive. צדיק באמונתו יחיה Tzaddik b'emunaso yichyeh. But, ועזב את אביו v'azav es aviv, but if you abandon, ומת va'meis, then you die even while you're alive. Again, the pasuk is talking specifically about Yaakov and Binyamin, but the מודז'יץ Modzitzer encourages us to read it more broadly as talking to us, as a worldview, as a השקפת חיים hashkafas chaim. ועזב את אביו V'azav es aviv, that if a person walks away, abandons our father, ומת va'meis, then we will surely die.פרק מ\"ה, פסוק ג' Perek mem-heh, pasuk gimmel. Turn the perek. So the storyline continues. The storyline continues. And Yehuda is telling Yosef the whole story. \"And then we brought him down, and then he was accused, and we came to you, and he'll surely die.\" And he tells him the whole storyline and then we get to Perek Mem-Heh. ולא יכול יוסף להתאפק לכל הניצבים עליו ויקרא הוציאו כל איש מעלי ולא עמד איש אתו בהתוודע יוסף אל אחיו V'lo yachol Yosef l'hisapek l'chol ha'nitzavim alav vayikra hotziu chol ish mei'alai v'lo amad ish ito b'hisvada Yosef el echav. Yosef cannot take it. He's overwhelmed with emotion, he's overwhelmed with the realization. Rabbi Soloveitchik suggests he's overwhelmed maybe with the feeling that there is no break in the narrative at this point, right? There's no break, there's no פסיקה psikah, there's no פתוחה סתומה pesucha o stumah. You don't see any white on the line. The narrative in the Torah itself, in the in the Torah's print just continues straight. It goes straight, signifying that Yosef interrupted Yehuda in the middle of his exhortation. Yehuda is still making this argument, he's still formulating his argument, and Yosef interrupts him. Why? Because Yosef felt that Yehuda was on the verge of revealing Yosef's identity. He could no longer restrain himself. He would not let Yehuda be the one who would reveal him. So he can't take it anymore. Plus he can't take it. Why else can't he take it? This whole thing has been a ruse. Why is Yosef not revealed himself to begin with? Why was he waiting? We mentioned last week the רמב\"ן's Ramban's approach. The רמב\"ן's Ramban's approach is Yosef knew the dream had to come true and הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu sometimes, we quoted Rav Volbe, that sometimes even despite how badly emotionally you want something, when intellectually you know what Hashem wants for you, that has to supersede, that has to take priority. Yosef desperately wanted to reveal himself to his brothers. He desperately wanted to reach out to his father. But he understood intellectually that Hashem had a master plan. And in that master plan, it would happen in its right time, and he could not try to expedite it. It would have to go according to Hashem's schedule, not his own. That's the Ramban's understanding. But another understanding is that Yosef wants to give his brothers the opportunity to do תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah. What is תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah? Complete, the highest level, not just תשובה teshuva. תשובה גמורה Teshuva gemurah is to be back in the exact same circumstance and behave very differently. So Yosef constructs artificially a scenario where there'll be a brother, he'll potentially be abandoned. Will these brothers do what they did to him, walk away, neglect them, abandon him, forsake him? Or now will they do תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah, put back in the exact same circumstance. And the Rambam is very interesting, because when the Rambam quotes the definition of תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah, the Rambam gives graphic detail what תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah is. The Rambam in הלכות תשובה Hilchos Teshuva, he says תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah, regular תשובה teshuva is you distance yourself from the people, the place, the תאוה taavah, temptation, you move on. תשובה גמורה Teshuva gemurah is you're back in the exact same. We're not going to address the age-old question, if you do תשובה teshuva properly, you can never do תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah. That's an Elul drash Torah. Remind me in Elul, we'll bring that up. We're not going to raise that. But the Rambam says, what's תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah? He says, \"You were a young, passionate man, and you found yourself secluded in a room with a beautiful woman with whom you were not supposed to have contact, and nevertheless, you gave into the temptation, drive, and desire, and you experienced an intimacy with that woman. You failed the test and you sinned for lack of a better term.\" What's תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah? So the Rambam is very graphic. He says, \"You're back in the same room, and it's not,\" he writes, so excuse me, \"it's not you're an old man with no drive and no temptation and no sexual appetite, and that's why you don't give into the תאוה taavah.\" The Rambam writes you have to have the exact same appetite and temptation and drive that you had previously. She has to be just as beautiful, you have to be just as secluded, everything about it has to be exactly the same, and yet, nevertheless, you rise to the occasion and you you are able to withstand the temptation. That's תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah. So Yosef is constructing a scenario of תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah. So Binyamin is the only brother that shares the same mother. So Binyamin is the only one who can actually test the brothers to see if they've indeed done תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah. If it's one of their own and they stand up for him, they haven't proven anything. Big deal they stand up for their own. The question is, would they stand up for someone who wasn't one of their own the way they didn't stand up for him. So now when Yehuda steps forward, ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, and Yehuda says, \"You can't do this. He's our brother, we love him, and you're going to kill our father. You cannot do it.\" Now Yosef can't hold back anymore. Why? So according to the Ramban, because he sees the fulfillment of the dreams come true. They've bowed down and so on. But according to this other interpretation, because they've passed the test, because they've now proven their loyalty, because they've corrected and repaired the error of their ways, and they deserve this reconciliation, this forgiveness for there to be this reunion among the brothers. He can't take it anymore. That's pasuk, so we get to פסוק ג' pasuk gimmel. ויאמר יוסף אל אחיו Vayomer Yosef el echav. He turns to them and he says, אני יוסף Ani Yosef. I'm Yosef. העוד אבי חי Ha'od avi chai? Is my father still alive? A bizarre question. Why is it a bizarre question? Because Yehuda just made the argument to him and he said, he reviewed the whole scenario. We told you we have a father, and he's elderly, and he's frail, and he's inconsolable, and if you keep this brother, you're going to surely kill him. Yosef said, \"Yeah, that's a nice story. By the way, I'm Yosef. Tell me, is dad still alive?\" אבא, טאטי Abba, Tati, I don't know what Yosef called him. But is he still alive? Is he still... it's a bizarre question. He knows he's still alive. He knows he's still alive. So he doesn't mean is Yaakov or Yisrael the individual alive. What does he mean? העוד Ha'od... what does he also not say? He doesn't say, אני יוסף העוד אבינו חי Ani Yosef, ha'od avinu chai? Is our father alive? What does he say? העוד אבי חי Ha'od avi chai? Is my father alive? My father. What was he asking him? Does my father miss me? Does the my father that I knew who had the special shared relationship, is he still alive? Not biologically, not physically is he alive, but is his story still alive? Is all that still alive? And they couldn't answer, כי נבהלו מפניו ki nivhalu mipanav. Because they were so startled, they were so overwhelmed, to which the גמרא Gemara says we cry every time we read this, אוי לנו מיום הדין אוי לנו מיום התוכחה Oi lanu miyom ha'din, oi lanu miyom ha'tochecha. This is the sense of being startled that we're all going to have. After 120, when we come upstairs and הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu plays the video of our lives and we see the truth of the consequences of our decisions and our behavior, when we have to confront a reality that we created, that we have a cognitive dissonance and that we've been able to somehow rationalize and distance ourselves from, when we have to confront that reality, אוי לנו מיום הדין אוי לנו מיום התוכחה oi lanu miyom ha'din, oi lanu miyom ha'tochecha. You know what the most powerful... so you say יום התוכחה yom ha'tochecha, where's the מוסר musar? Yosef some מוסר שמועס musar shmuess here. Where's the מוסר שמועס musar shmuess? You know what the מוסר שמועס musar shmuess was? אני יוסף Ani Yosef. Two words. Where's the מוסר musar in אני יוסף Ani Yosef? The מוסר musar is not in the words אני יוסף Ani Yosef. It's in the reality of, oh boy. Wow. It's all come together. I see what's happening right now. So Rav Soloveitchik says about this, the moment Yosef disclosed his identity, he stopped being a ruler over Israel, thus ceding sovereignty to Yehuda. Providence willed that Yosef would lose and Yehuda would win. In this moment, there's a shift. The brothers have now come and they've relied and depended on Yosef. They needed him, not knowing it was him. They literally bowed down to him. Their survival depended on him. But now Yehuda is advancing an argument and Yosef is conceding to it. So the tables have turned. And now, it's not Yosef on top, but now this is the moment of the rise of Yehuda, which is what destiny ultimately פסקים paskens. That in this conflict and tension between the brothers, who wins? Ultimately, דוד מלך ישראל חי וקיים David Melech Yisrael chai v'kayam, the Davidic dynasty descends from whom? Not from Yosef, but rather from Yehuda. To understand this drama, we have to retrace the story of Yaakov. Lavan had two daughters, says Rav Soloveitchik, Leah and Rachel. Yaakov loved Rachel very much and tells Lavan he's ready to serve seven years for her. Rachel certainly reciprocated Yaakov's love. Yet, she acquiesced to the scheme devised by Lavan to substitute Leah. Not only did Rachel not tell Yaakov about her father's plan, she cooperated in the conspiracy, sharing the password, the סימנים simanim, with Leah. How could Rachel participate in this deceit? How could she forgo her love for and devotion to Yaakov? We always praise Rachel in this way. She gave the סימנים simanim. It's her heart, רחל מבכה על בניה Rachel mevakah al baneha, מאמא רחל Mama Rachel, look at Rachel. But if you're Yaakov, you got some טענות tainos on Rachel. What happened? We went on all these dates, we pledged our love, we were going to live a happily ever after, and then you just gave it away with no heads up, no warning. You showed your loyalty to your sister over me. How could she do that? So Rav Soloveitchik says, this narrative involves two attributes of Hashem: חסד וגבורה chesed u'gevurah. Leah represents מידת הגבורה middas ha'gevurah, the dignity and majesty of man. Her cooperation with Lavan's scheme demonstrates courage and valor. Rachel was the opposite of Leah. She was the tragic heroine who lived for others. She surrendered her rights so others could find the happiness denied to them. Rachel represented חסד chesed. Yehuda was a son of Leah. His personality radiated power, authority, and prestige. Yaakov described him as a lion, the warrior who relentlessly pursues his enemies. Consider Consider the firmness and the majestic fearlessness Yehuda exhibited when he argued with Yosef about Binyamin. After all the viceroy could have done anything to him. He could have chopped his head off at that moment. So Yehuda is a lion, fearless, courageous, assertive. Yosef's the son of Rochel. His mission was to sacrifice, to retreat from hard-won positions. He sacrificed many times but his real sacrifice was the way he treated his brothers when they were at his mercy. Only a son of Rochel could offer friendship and kindness to the same brothers who had caused so much misery. Yosef personified חסד chesed. Who should be the king? That was the conflict, the tension between Yosef and Yehuda. Which one has the quality to be the king? חסד Chesed or גבורה gevurah? If you think about it, you see this right here. Yehuda's the son of Leah, his assertiveness, his his his self-confidence, his courage, all descends from a Leah who's exhibited those character traits. Yosef descends from Rochel who was forgiving and forboding. Rochel who was מעביר על מידותיו maavir al midosov, who was a was willing to let it go. And Yosef therefore lets it go. Has anyone in history ever let it more go than Yosef who forgives his brothers and lets it go, who's willing to let it go? So only a Rochel could offer that friendship. So who should be the king at this moment? The Almighty decided in favor of the son who represented גבורה gevurah. The king is the trustee and leader of the people. He must display גבורה gevurah in all respects, the ability to acquire, to defend, to possess, to protect. A life sacrifice of his brothers, a life of חסד chesed is appropriate for the individual, but the king cannot sacrifice at the expense of the nation. If the king has too much רחמנות rachmanus, then the people will be compromised in the end. A king needs גבורה gevurah. A king needs assertiveness and confidence and courage. A king needs fearlessness. And if there are too much compassion, they will not be able to properly advocate or represent the values, the interests of the people. So you understand the Rav's interpretation of this פסוק pasuk is actually mind-boggling. What he's basically saying is Yosef was on the trajectory of having the dreams fulfilled. He was going to rise to be the leader, the person in the position of power to whom everyone else bowed. But at the moment, this is ironic, paradoxical, at the moment that he was so forgiving to his brothers, he actually proved that he didn't have what it took to be the king. Because he was such a מוותר mevater, therefore, imagine somebody takes a piece of your territory. Somebody attacks your people and you're a מוותר mevater. Okay, next time try to behave nicer. Don't kill my people. Don't take a piece of our land. You can't be a מוותר mevater when you're a ruler. So somewhat ironically, it's Yosef's כח הותרנות koach ha'vatranus, it's Yosef being a מעביר maavir, it's Yosef's willingness to be foregoing and forbearing, it's Yosef's attribute of Rochel, of חסד chesed, which end up disqualifying him for the very dreams that he had for himself. It's a wild interpretation of what's going on here. And Yehuda to the contrary, who's finally, who's been passive. Yehuda who didn't have what it took to confront his brothers in order to save Yosef originally. Now Yehuda has found his voice. Yehuda has found his leadership, and because he expresses the sense of גבורה gevurah, he in fact becomes the person who is the right one to be that to be that leader. So that is Rabbi Saloveitchik's understanding of what is going on in this conflict of Yehuda and Yosef. There are other ways of understanding. But Saloveitchik on another occasion and his brother of Aaron Saloveitchik also understood another lesson of leadership that comes from the struggle of Yehuda and Yosef, and the fact that it's Yehuda who emerges to be the father of the monarchy. And he says the following. This is in a collection of the Rav's talks on Yosef and Mosha called Vision and Leadership. He says the clash and confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef is not a petty power struggle, but it's a profound battle for the future of Jewish leadership. You see they represent two different paradigms or archetypes of leadership. The Rambam says there are two types of righteous people. What he calls the חסיד chasid. The חסיד chasid is the one who never had an inclination for anything wrong. Pure, humble, instinctively kind, who has no struggle, doesn't wrestle with desire. You know people like that we hate them. We all hate those people. They're hard to be around. We admire them and love them, but we also hate them. They're essentially born righteous. They always make the right decision no matter the circumstance. They're never tempted, they don't even struggle. It comes easily, it looks right. It's a righteousness from birth. They have a purity and an innocence and a תמימות temimus that they're righteous, they're the חסיד chasid. But the Rambam says there's another type of righteous person whom the Rambam calls the כובש את יצרו kovesh es yitzro. They spend their life fighting and battling desire, temptation, and urge. They're righteous, not because they have no temptation, they're righteous because they confront and they conquer and they overcome that inclination and that temptation. So these two paradigms, which one is higher? Which one is better, which one is greater? To which do we give the mantle of Jewish leadership? Who do we want in a leader? Who do we want in a leader? The one whom the hagiography was written, the one whom the biography, but the new genre called hagiography, which is they, you know, they were born knowing ש\"ס Shas and they were born having perfect מידות midos, and they were born being absolutely perfect? Or do we want the one who struggled, the one who battled, and the one who ultimately conquered? So he says Yosef represents the חסיד chasid. Like Moshe, we don't find him succumbing to temptation, making the wrong choice, having poor judgment or self-destructive behavior. Yes, the wife of Potiphar tries to seduce him, but even there, the greatest test of his life, Yosef does the right thing. Doesn't stumble, doesn't fall. He doesn't have to pick himself up seven times because he never fell to begin with because Yosef is the חסיד chasid. He has that righteousness instinctively, intuitively, naturally within him. Yehuda is the paradigm, the model of the opposite. Yehuda struggles and he wrestles, and sometimes he even loses. The whole episode of Yehuda and Tamar, you can't understand in any other way. It's a low moment. He fell down. In fact, we mentioned last week that the narrative, the passage of Yehuda with Tamar begins with וירד vayered, he went down. The imagery literally we have of Yehuda is he fell down. But what did he do when he fell down? Picked himself back up. And with the famous admission צדקה ממני tzadka mimeni, you are more righteous than I, what did he show? He was כובש את יצרו kovesh es yitzro. He put himself back on the path of greatness and righteousness. Because even though yes, he had fallen, he got back up. He had the courage to admit he was wrong. So says the Rav, this conflict, this confrontation of Yehuda and Yosef, is not a power struggle, and it's not just an interesting story so Jewish schools and camps would have a a play to put on for in perpetuity. But it's a family, it's not just a family sibling rivalry, but it's the battle for the qualification of Jewish leadership. Who is the worthy leader? Is it the חסיד chasid or the כובש את יצרו kovesh es yitzro? The pure person with no temptation or the one who has fallen and proven they can get back up, who has battle scars? And says the Rav, what the Torah paskens, what the Ribono shel Olam paskens is, that who is the more qualified leader? What do we look for in a leader? Is somebody who is כובש את יצרו kovesh es yitzro. It's he and progeny after him who are the Jewish monarchy, not Yosef. It's a power of personal redemption, the ability to recognize and admit mistakes and to learn from them. And that is that not the message of all of Tanach? Our religion, unlike other religions, is replete. Our greatest heroes are all those who have history of falling down and getting back up. Almost every one of them, Yosef may be an exception, and Moshe Rabbeinu is an exception, though he had complicated parts of his life as well. But our entire Tanach, until today, Rav Hutner has a famous letter where he talks about how how damaging it is to think that our greatest scholars, that our greatest leaders, men and women, were born perfect, never had a struggle, because then we don't relate, then we don't identify. And again, you know this in other context we've given a series of שיעורים shiurim about are we allowed to be critical of our אבות ואמהות avos v'imahos? And we find two tracks, those who say they were perfect and you can't say one word, and others including ראשונים ואחרונים Rishonim v'Acharonim, who had no hesitation to see their fallibility because within that their fallibility didn't diminish their greatness. Their fallibility actually promoted, reinforced that sense of that sense of greatness. So the whole question about do we do we have to see our leaders as being beyond reproach, infallible? Or do we believe in a sense of fallibility? The קדוש ברוך הוא Kadosh Baruch Hu paskened that when he gave the monarchy to Yehuda over Yosef, and when he gave us a תנ\"ך Tanach that's filled with people who were imperfect, who are fallible, who made mistakes. But I'll tell you even more than that, and then we'll move on. My friend, Rabbi Dr. Meir Saloveitchik, the great nephew of the Rav, points out that no no place is this more clear than our understanding the pedigree of משיח Moshiach. We spoke about this last week when we talked about משיח Moshiach's salacious יחוס yichus and background, right? And if you contrast particularly in this week, let's say, on the Gregorian calendar, and we contrast we're reading these פרשיות parshios in our understanding versus what's happening in the, I wouldn't say secular, but the Christian world around us, in that little understanding is such a fundamental, fundamental difference in our view of what משיח Moshiach will be. Their view, for Christians, redemption is an act of divine grace, salvation of a humanity incapable of saving itself. So their messiah, obviously that's wrong and we don't believe in whatsoever, can't come from their perspective unless God graciously grants him because we can't fix or repair ourselves. The Torah tells us the opposite. The Rambam in the seventh perek understands the pasuk literally and it says משיח Moshiach will come when we're worthy, when we do תשובה teshuva. That's when משיח Moshiach's going to come. In fact, in על התשובה Al HaTeshuva, the Rav asked, how can one of the אני מאמינים Ani Ma'aminim be אני מאמין באמונה שלמה בביאת המשיח Ani Ma'amin b'emunah shleimah b'vias ha'mashiach. I believe with a full heart that משיח Moshiach's going to come. I thought משיח Moshiach's only going to come when we're worthy. So how can I believe with a full heart? Said the Rav, that אני מאמין Ani Ma'amin is a statement, an affirmation of belief, I believe in the Jewish people that we will be worthy. It's such a powerful idea. My belief in משיח Moshiach implicitly is a belief that we will prove worthy to bring him. I believe, אני מאמין באמונה שלמה Ani Ma'amin b'emunah shleimah, with a full heart, I believe in our people. I believe in the Jewish people. I believe we will prove worthy. I believe we are redeemable. I believe no matter how many mistakes, how fallible, how bad our judgment, I believe we can come back. So that is a fundamental difference in their their origins. For them, so Messiah's origins have to be pure and untainted and immaculate. For us משיח Moshiach's origins are as I said, filled with Yehuda and Tamar and רות Rus, the convert, and the incestuous relationship of Lot and his daughters and דוד ובת שבע David u'Bat Sheva, and so on and so forth. So in this season that we are inescapably still exposed to here in the גלות galus, it's an excellent opportunity to be reminded how different our world views. Not how different just that ours is true and theirs is is not, but the triumph of Yehuda over Yosef is the triumph of the tradition of משיח Moshiach that we believe in the ability to come back. שבע יפול צדיק וקם sheva yipol tzaddik v'kam. That we have that capacity no matter how many times we fail to get back up, that Yehuda is our greater or stronger role model, he is the representation of Jewish leadership. Okay, let's go on. פרק מ\"ה פסוק ד' perek mem hey pasuk daled. We're going to make a lot of progress by going to the next pasuk. Very all the way to the very next pasuk. So we're still in the unfolding of the story. Yosef has revealed himself and פסוק ד' pasuk daled. ויאמר יוסף אל אחיו גשו נא אלי ויגשו Vayomer Yosef el echav gshu na elai vayigashu. He says, come close. And he says, relax. אני יוסף אחיכם Ani Yosef achichem, relax. Relax. אני יוסף אחיכם אשר מכרתם אותי מצרימה Ani Yosef achichem asher mechartem osi mitzrayma. Relax, it's me, Yosef. Remember the brother you threw in the pit, took the coat off, remember those? ועתה v'atah and now אל תעצבו ואל יחר בעיניכם כי מכרתם אותי הנה al te'atzvu v'al yichar b'eineichem ki mechartem osi heina, כי למחיה שלחני אלקים לפניכם ki l'michya shlachani Elokim lifneichem. Don't be sad and don't be worried that you're the one who sold. You think you sold me? You didn't send me. לשום לכם שארית בארץ ולהחיות לכם לפליטה גדולה l'sum lachem she'eiris ba'aretz ul'hachayos lachem l'fleita gedolah. You didn't send me here. Why is Yosef telling them that? If you're the brothers, what's your immediate thought? I hope my life insurance policy is paid up. You're immediate first thought is, I'm a goner. It's over. We threw him in the pit, we abandoned him 22 years later. Your first thought is and now he's going to have us killed. At worst, at best, he's going to throw us in a pit for the next however many years. So Yosef is trying to allay their fears and he says, relax, don't worry. The good kind of relax. Really relax, don't worry. It's me, Yosef. Remember the old brother we used to play stickball in the backyard? It's me, Yosef. And oh, oh, oh, you're worried because you think I'm going to take revenge. No, don't worry. My perspective's always been, you didn't send me here. If I'm here, it's only because God wanted me to be here. And Yosef is a מוותר mevater, he's forgiving, he's foreboding, he lets them off the hook and he lets it go. There's a lot to talk about here including the fact that why was Yosef entitled to let them off the hook in that way? What they did was was terrible. So we have a pasuk and Rav Shechter brings this up in his ספר sefer on פרשה Parsha. He says I don't understand. The pasuk says when it comes to the laws of vows. The pasuk says that. If a woman takes a vow she's not going to eat potato chips, her husband who's at work hears about the vow and quickly he annuls the vow for her because he knows his wife and he knows there's no chance that she's going to be able to withstand the urge to eat potato chips. Just so happens he annuls the vow and an hour later there she is with the potato chips and she can't hold back and she now digs in. Does she need forgiveness, atonement? I would have thought no. If you're her lawyer in שמים Shamayim, you get her off on a technicality. You say, yeah, true she took a vow not to eat potato chips, true she ate the potato chips, but judge, your honor, her husband who was at work, I have witnesses who will testify he annulled her vow. Yet the pasuk says וה' יסלח לה v'Hashem yislach lah. Why? The Gemara in Nazir tells us that if she violated the נדר neder unbeknownst to her because he had already revoked it, she nevertheless requires forgiveness. That's why the pasuk says וה' יסלח לה v'Hashem yislach lah. Why? Because true she's off on a technicality, but what was her intention? When she ate the potato chips, she didn't know the the vow was annulled. When she ate the potato chips, she was still doing an act of rebelliousness. She was still violating an indiscretion. She was doing something wrong and therefore, she doesn't need maybe the level of atonement had she not gotten off on the technicality, but still she needs some degree of וה' יסלח לה v'Hashem yislach lah, she needs some degree of forgiveness. So asked Rav Shechter and he's greatly quoting the כלי חמדה Kli Chemdah who asked this question, I don't understand. Nice Yosef says it worked out in my favor. True, it all worked out in my favor. I rose to become the viceroy, I'm powerful and I'm wealthy and I'm famous, and it's true I was able to sustain you and אבא Abba by being able to provide you food and yes, I happen to have saved the Egyptian economy. It all worked out pretty well. But still, that wasn't their intention. Why aren't they accountable for their intention even if it all worked out well in the end? Even if it all worked out well in the end. You punch me and I have to go to the hospital, and when I get to the hospital because you punched me, they took a blood test and it happens to be they found out I have X disease and I was able to treat it. So do I say, oh don't feel bad you punched me, it all, I needed to be in the hospital and found out. What I say is Hashem is amazing. He enabled me to be punched so that I'd find out I have the illness, but you didn't have to be that low life for having punched me. The fact that you were the שליח shaliach of the מכה makkah, the fact that Hashem chose you to be his שליח shaliach, you're accountable for punching me, and simultaneously I have gratitude to God for the fact that he brought me to this reality which ended up saving my life. What right do you have though to forgive or not hold accountable those who had the poor intentions to begin with? That is the question of the כלי חמדה Kli Chemdah. He gives an answer of the כלי חמדה Kli Chemdah and the Ran's answer and Rav Shechter gives his answer. I don't want to get into this. I'll leave that part for you as a question. What right did Yosef have to not hold them accountable? But the other side of that coin that Yosef says God wanted me to be here and I couldn't be here if it weren't his will and therefore I'm meant to be here so, the magic word, relax. Relax because it's all meant to be. The Kadosh Baruch Hu meant for me to be here. So I want to share with you a very interesting insight. Rashi, that's what I wanted to tell you. If you look at Rashi on pasuk daled. So Rashi tells, Rashi says, גשו נא אלי gshu na elai, come close to me. Why does he say come close? Let's snuggle? Come close to me. He says אני יוסף Ani Yosef and you know what the brothers do? So he says, come close, come close, stop walking backwards, stop pulling away, it's not contagious, I'm not going to kill you, come close. Come close. By the way, before I forget, Rabbi David Foreman's giving a shiur here today at 4:00. If you haven't heard of Rabbi David Foreman, whatever you're doing, cancel it and get here at 4:00. He is an outstanding, extraordinary, exciting, novel teacher with very, very novel ideas. Last minute he happens to be in Florida, before he goes to the airport, he's coming to give a shiur at 4:00. You don't want to miss it. Definitely come at 4:00. So why does he say גשו נא אלי gshu na elai on this parsha, on this, on this story? פסוק ד' Pasuk daled. So says Rashi, he sees they're walking backwards. He says, come close, he speaks softly, and what does he show them? He says, come, let's go to the locker room for a minute. I got to show you something. He says, if you don't believe me, if you think I once read about in the newspaper that you had a brother Yosef and now I'm an imposter pretending that I'm Yosef, let me prove to you I'm Yosef. What does he show them? His bris. I'm circumcised. In Egypt that was not the common practice. So when he shows that he's circumcised, that's the evidence of who I am and you have nothing to worry about. Relax, I am circumcised. We are all we're all good. Relax, back to the old relax. Back to the old relax. So says the מנחת אליעזר Minchas Eliezer, the שיחות אליעזר Sichos Eliezer. Who is the שיחות אליעזר Sichos Eliezer? Reb Eliezer Goldzaler. Who was he? He tragically was killed in a bus accident at 46 years old. He was the son-in-law of the Twerskis from Milwaukee, father of 13 children, and a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, a צדיק tzaddik in his own right, and he has magnificent שיחות sichos. I thank my dear friend Rabbi Ari Merzoff who shared his with me and turned me on to it. שיחות אליעזר Sichos Eliezer, he writes the following. And if you understand his life story and the his tragic loss and his children's deep אמונה emunah and wife and in-laws and family despite his loss, this piece that he so almost prophetically wrote takes on even more significance. And he says the following. I want to learn this with you in the few minutes that we have left at least a little bit, even though we've just started the introduction to the parsha. He says the following. I'll tell it to you mostly outside. Why in the world is Yosef showing his bris? He's showing the brothers his bris. So the simple understanding is what I just told you is that he didn't have an ID card, he didn't have a passport, he didn't have I'm a member of the Yaakov family. So what was his greatest ID? The greatest identification mark he had was to show that he was circumcised. Says the שיחות אליעזר Sichos Eliezer, no, that's not why. You know what he was showing them? He says, even though I've been living here in גלות galus, you haven't seen me in 22 years. I'm the viceroy, I'm the vice president of the United States of America. I want you to know that the place that most stands for an aspiration of קדושה kedusha, of holiness, the place that most defines the one who is who has the pursuit of holiness, I am still the same Yosef. I have maintained and preserved my aspiration for holiness even here in the גלות galus, even in the dark and deep exile, even in a place where I'm in a host nation, I'm still the same person who I am. I'm the same person who I am. He It doesn't matter where physically you are. Of course, we all belong in Israel and aliyah is not if but when and we always talk about and promote the significance of redemption of being in Israel, but we need to know that wherever we are in the world, as long as we identify ourselves as Jews and the Torah informs and inspires who we are and how we live and we preserve and maintain, we're שומר את הברית shomer es ha'bris, we have a שמירה shmirah, we're safeguarding our aspiration for קדושה kedusha, then we could be redeemed no matter what exile we're living in. And what follows the beginning. So if Yosef who began the experience of exile, Yosef is the embodiment, Yosef is launches the notion of Jew in exile, but does so in a way that preserves קדושה kedusha, therefore we too are never really fully in exile as long as we continue to protect and preserve our aspiration, our hope, our identity for קדושה kedusha. And this gives us the power, the strength to continue in the diaspora. It's irrational. There is no explanation for how Jews have survived for 2,000 years, how we have survived pogroms, extermination attempts, how we have survived inquisition and crusades and Holocaust. We have survived the worst atrocities and the most systematic attempts to eliminate us. But thank G-d, what is the core, what is the source, what is the driver, what gives us the courage and the faith and what has caused us to survive? The exile began with Yosef HaTzaddik. His body was in exile, but his essence did not enter exile. His body was in exile but he never went into exile. And as long as a Jew is able to transcend the physical exile that we're in, we find the strength, the energy, and the courage to be able to withstand, to be able to persevere. And that's what he meant when he sent, tell my father עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai. Tell my father, עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai. וכי הוא מושל בכל ארץ מצרים u'ki hu moshel b'chol eretz Mitzrayim. Why was Yosef sending a message to his father, you need to know, tell אבא Abba, tell טאטי Tati, tell dad, Yosef is alive and he's the leader of Egypt. Tell dad I'm alive and I manage the biggest hedge fund. Tell dad I'm alive, I'm the senior partner in the law firm. Tell dad I'm alive, I drive the nicest car. What is Yosef trying to impress Yaakov? Tell dad I'm alive, let him know I'm the leader, I I made, I went to I I made something of myself. He's trying to prove to Yaakov he made something himself. What he's trying to tell him is, you need to know that even though I've risen to the top, I'm at the top of this galus, it hasn't compromised an iota of who I am and everything you taught me of who I am. And Yosef in that way is our most incredible role model, to be able to live wherever and not assimilate and not lose our values and not and not forget who we are. Yosef is the archetype and the model to rise to the top, to live with affluence and to live with success and to have every opportunity and yet never forget who we are. And that's why he says, I'm מושל בכל ארץ מצרים moshel b'chol eretz Mitzrayim, but עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai. Your Yosef is still alive. The Yosef you taught and you learned with and that you transmitted your legacy from your father and grandfather to עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai, that Yosef is still alive. That the galus has not compromised and it has not caused me to be worn down at all. And what does Yaakov say in response? ותחי רוח יעקב אביהם va'techi ruach Yaakov avihem. Yaakov is revived. He comes alive. Because Yaakov's big fear is not that Yosef is physically gone, is that he is assimilated, intermarried, spiritually gone. So Yaakov's response is what? He's literally revived. He comes alive. And what does he say? אמותה הפעם Amusa ha'paam. Now I'll only die once. And Rashi says, what does it mean I'll only die once? What do you die and you're brought back to life and then you die? How many times do you get nine lives? What do you mean you're only going to die once? Rashi explains, you know what Yaakov meant? He thought I'm going to have two deaths. Physically my life will end and spiritually my continuity will be cut off. But now that I know that my Yosef is עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai, now that I know that he remains Yosef and he's raising Menashe and Ephraim and there'll be a continuity of my sacred values, then אמותה הפעם amusa ha'paam, I'm not going to die twice, I'm only going to die once. Because we have an immortality when we successfully transmit, when we create a continuity of our values and who we are, then we have an immortality. Yaakov realizes I've achieved immortality if he's remained in עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai even though he's מושל בכל ארץ מצרים moshel b'chol eretz Mitzrayim. What a powerful understanding of the message Yosef was sending and the image of a of a wilted, depleted, half-dead Yaakov as if coming back to life, being revived by the understanding that he has a continuity through his Yosef, that despite being the moshel b'chol eretz Mitzrayim, he remains in עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai. And he says the Sichos Eliezer, listen to what he says. He tells a story. You can understand Yosef's understanding that sometimes we only live life, we have to live life going forward but we only understand it backwards and in retrospect. And he tells the story of the Lev Simcha of Ger that for many many years without children. So what happened? And then his wife got sick. So his father the Imrei Emes said, go to Eretz Yisrael because we know that being in Israel is a segulah for having children. You need to go to Israel, your wife will heal, and please G-d you'll have children. He suffered, he struggled, there's nothing more painful than infertility, than being childless. And and he went to Israel and started to try to reverse it. And what happened when he went to Israel? The outbreak of the Holocaust, and the Gerer Chassidim of Poland were wiped out, and he was in Israel at the time and therefore he survived, the Gerer Chassidus survived. And that was the only reason. What in the moment feels like the most painful experience is actually Hashem planting the seeds of what will be your personal redemption. What will be your personal redemption. He was distanced from his father's table. He felt abandoned by his father. He felt hopeless and helpless having no children. Woe was me, why do I have to leave and be away from the family? Ultimately he had children and there was a continuity. It's what saved him and saved his family. We have to be very careful when we davven, when we ask for, because we always have to qualify and say, Hashem, here's what I'm asking for, that from my finite perspective seems to be the best thing for me, but I defer to your infinite perspective. We should never try to twist Hashem's arm to do what we think is right because we never know that what feels right in this moment is actually the biggest disaster and what feels unbearably wrong and painful in this moment is actually planting the seeds of our own personal redemption of yet what is to come. And that's the story of Yosef, that if you'd ask Yosef while he was in a pit and while he was languishing in prison and even once he had risen to be the viceroy, if you asked him he would tell you it's misery, but as it turned out, Hashem knew what he was doing and all of the destiny of the Jewish people was unfolding in that process. All of that was a part of Kadosh Baruch Hu's master master plan. What can we do? Next year parshas Vayigash. With Hashem's help. 4 o'clock today, Rabbi Foreman, 11:00 a.m. tomorrow morning is the.
