Transcript
Okay, בוקר טוב *boker tov*, שבוע טוב *shavua tov*. נסיע שלום *Nesiya Shalom*. פרשת משפטים *Parshas Mishpatim*. We can our way through ספר שמות *Sefer Shmos*. And we begin the transition now from the story of the narrative of the Jewish people, the birth of our first family, ספר בראשית *Sefer Bereishis*, the birth of our people ספר שמות *Sefer Shmos*, the seminal moment of הר סיני *Har Sinai* we read about yesterday, פרשת יתרו *Parshas Yisro*. And with משפטים *Mishpatim*, it represents a major turning point in תורה *Torah*, where we're transitioning from a story of the birth of a people into the laws that guide and that regulate us. So, פרשת משפטים *Parshas Mishpatim* we know is filled, chalk-filled with incredible number of מצוות *mitzvos*, unbelievable number of מצוות *mitzvos*, and really represents the basis and the core of so much of הלכה *halacha*, of so much of תורה *Torah*. The גמרא *Gemara* in בבא קמא *Bava Kamma* makes an amazing statement. The סלאנימער רבי *Slanimer Rebbe* begins with this. איתא בגמרא *Isa be'Gemara*, אמר רב יהודה *Amar Rav Yehuda*, היי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא, לקים מילי דנזיקין *haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida le'kayem milei de'Nezikin*. If you strive, if you aspire to be a חסיד *chasid*—and this context he's not talking about wearing a שטריימל *shtreimel*, having longer פאות *peyos*, he means למיהוי חסידא *le'mehevei chasida* means in your conduct, in your behavior, in your character. If you want to be the type of person, we know the רמב\"ם *Rambam* contrasts a חסיד *chasid* and a צדיק *tzaddik*, two different types of personalities. One is someone who has a יצר הרע *yetzer hara*, has an inclination, has negative thoughts, has drive but controls it. And the other is a person who's purged even that negativity from themselves, that all they think about, all they do, they're drawn instinctively and intrinsically to only good. So you want to be a חסיד *chasid*. You want to be that person who has a pure character. How do you achieve it? So I would have thought you learn מילי דאבות *milei de'Avos*, you learn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*, you learn חומש *Chumash*, you learn ספרי מוסר *Musar Sefarim*. And what does the גמרא *Gemara* say? If you want to be a חסיד *chasid*, בבא קמא *Bava Kamma*, בבא מציעא *Bava Metzia*, בבא בתרא *Bava Basra*—open up נזיקין *Nezikin*. סנהדרין *Sanhedrin*. רבא אמר מילי דאבות *Rava amar milei de'Avos*. רבא *Rava* says you learn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*. ואמרי לה מילי דברכות *ve'amri lah milei de'Brachos*. So three opinions in that גמרא בבא קמא *Gemara Bava Kamma*. If you strive to be a חסיד *chasid*—if you don't care about being a חסיד *chasid*, you don't mind being a lowlife, so you don't have to learn these things. But if your goal, your ambition is to be a חסיד *chasid*, so three opinions. One is learn the laws, נזיקין *Nezikin*, the other is learn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*, and the other is ברכות *Brachos*. Now I understand אבות *Avos*, because אבות *Avos* is filled with character lessons, how to mold and shape yourself into the best person, the best personality. And I understand ברכות *Brachos*, because ברכות הנהנין *birchas ha'nehenin* is about achieving קדושה *kedusha*, an awareness. The רמב\"ם *Rambam* writes that the purpose of saying ברכות *brachos* every day is to live with יראת שמים *yiras shamayim*. In fact, the גמרא *Gemara* learns, the פסוק *pasuk* says, מה ה' אלקיך שואל מעמך *mah Hashem Elokecha shoel me'imach*, what does השם *Hashem* want from you? אל תקרי 'מה' אלא 'מאה' *al tikrei mah... ela meah*, the obligation to recite 100 ברכות *brachos* every day. And the רמב\"ם *Rambam* writes, why do you say 100 ברכות *brachos* every day? That's how prone we are to forgetting השם *Hashem*. We're so vulnerable and susceptible to forgetting השם *Hashem*, that you need less than a, no less than 100 times. Imagine for those in the room who are married, your spouse says, I need you to check in with me a hundred times a day. Otherwise, I'm worried you're going to forget I'm here. And who knows who you're going to be talking to and what kind of relationships you're going to make and what you're going to be tempted by. So a hundred times a day I want you to text me, to remember I'm here. So, that that would be a very challenging marriage situation, a hundred times a day. So, הקדוש ברוך הוא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* says, I want you to check in with me a hundred times a day. Every time you eat, every time you go to the bathroom, every time you're done eating, every time—I want you to check in with me a hundred times a day. So I understand that doing that generates a sense of awareness, of mindfulness, of consciousness, that הקדוש ברוך הוא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* is here. We're learning this in the שיעור אמונה *emunah shiur* on Wednesdays. We're learning a piece by רב וואלבע *Rav Wolbe* in עלי שור חלק ב' *Alei Shur chelek beis* about ברכות הנהנין *birchas ha'nehenin*, how ברכות הנהנין *birchas ha'nehenin* not only changes us, but changes the whole environment and the culture that we're in. It's a very powerful piece. So I understand. You learn מילי דאבות *milei de'Avos*, you learn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*, and you learn how to become a righteous person. You learn ברכות *Brachos*, you learn how to live with an awareness of השם *Hashem*. But צריך ביאור *tzorech biur*, the מילי דאבות *milei de'Avos*, מילי דברכות *milei de'Brachos*, שהן שלמות האדם *she'hein shleimus ha'adam*. היי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא *Haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida*. אך מה ענין מילי דנזיקין לחסידות *Ach mah inyan milei de'Nezikin le'chasidus*? But מה נשתנה מילי דנזיקין *mah nishtanah milei de'Nezikin* משאר דיני ממונות *m'sha'ar dinei mamonos* שבתורה *she'be'Torah* שהם חיובים מדינא *she'heim chiyuvim me'dina*. We have all kinds of דיני ממונות *dinei mamonos*. Open up חושן משפט *Choshen Mishpat* and you have laws that govern הלוואה *halva'ah*. What are the laws that govern loans, the laws that govern קנינים *kinyanim*, transactions? You have laws that govern שומרים *shomrim*. You have laws that go—well שומרים *shomrim* is נזיקין *Nezikin*. You have all kinds of laws that govern different areas of fine, of finance, of econ, of laws of economy. So what is it about נזיקין *Nezikin*? What is it about the laws of damages in particular, that if you learn the laws of damages, the result will be you're a חסיד *chasid*. יען דדרך העבודה *Ya'a'de derech ha'avodah*, is מבאר *me'vaer*... על פי מה דאמרו *al pi mah de'amru*, ארבע אבות נזיקין *arba avos nezikin*. So says the סלאנימער רבי *Slanimer Rebbe* a very חסידישע תורה *chasidishe Torah*, which you would expect nothing less from him. The משנה *Mishna* says in בבא קמא *Bava Kamma*, ארבע אבות נזיקין *arba avos nezikin*. There are four archetypes or four overarching categories of נזיקין *nezikin*. We have אבות *avos*, those are the archetypes, the prototypes, the major categories, and then you have the תולדות *toldos*, you have the subcategories. So the four major categories are שור, בור, מבעה, והבער *shor, bor, mav'eh, and hev'er*. What are שור, בור, מבעה, והבער *shor, bor, mav'eh, and hev'er*? שור *Shor*, we understand, is an ox, my property that gores. A בור *bor* is if I make a pit, make a בור ברשות הרבים *bor be'reshus ha'rabim*. מבעה *Mav'eh* is אדם *adam*. הבער *hev'er* is is a fire. So ארבע אלו מכוונים כנגד ד' חלקי יצר הרע *Arba eilu mechavanim k'neged dalet chelkei yetzer hara* הנמצאים באדם *ha'nimtza'im be'adam*. So this is the חסידישע *chassidishe* part. Is that these four categories that the משנה *Mishna* refers to is not only talking about four categories of physical literal damages, but he's talking about four ways that our יצר הרע *yetzer hara* damages us. השור מרמז על גאוה *Ha'shor meramez al ga'avah*. A שור *shor*, the ox, is a reference to arrogance. כמאמר חז\"ל *K'ma'amar chazal*, גאה שבבהמה שור *ga'ah she'be'beheima shor*. חז\"ל *Chazal* say the most arrogant of the animals is an ox. An ox is brazen, an ox is is aggressive, an ox is arrogant. So the arrogance within us is the ox that we contend with. Just like an ox in a what do you say, a bull in a China shop. So our arrogance is like a bull in the China shop of our life, steering or directing us in the wrong way, sabotaging our own success and our own happiness. We talked about this yesterday, the דרשה *drasha* from yesterday morning. רב סעדיה גאון *Rav Saadya Gaon*, all תרי\"ג מצוות *Taryag mitzvos* are condensed into the עשרת הדברות *Aseres HaDibros*. עשרת הדברות *Aseres HaDibros*, the first דברה *Dibra*. The first דברה *Dibra* in the word אנכי *Anochi*. And what's the antithesis of אנכי *Anochi* we're battling? The גמרא *Gemara* says לא יהיה לך אלהים אחרים *lo yihyeh lecha elohim acherim*, don't have another god. And in the גמרא *Gemara* in שבת *Shabbos* says, who's the other God? The יצר הרע *yetzer hara* in you. You could either be worshipping השם *Hashem* or you could be worshipping yourself. Today's Sunday. What do you do with today? How do you spend your free time? What do you do with your recreation? Are you serving אנכי *anochi*? Which אנכי *anochi*? His אנכי *anochi*? Or the אנכי עומד בין ה' וביניכם *anochi a'umeid bein Hashem u'veineichem* or the אנכי *anochi* that is our ego? So the first, so all these ד' נזיקין *dalet nezikin*, we have this capacity. מסילת ישרים *Mesilas Yesharim* writes, the רמח\"ל *Ramchal* writes something astounding. It's so absolutely humbling when you read this. He says, you know, we human being thinks that we thinks that we are so far superior to animals. Animals are a very base intellect, animals are unsophisticated. We're human beings. We're so much superior to them. So the רמח\"ל *Ramchal* writes, and yet, animals identify something which is dangerous for themselves, something which is damaging, and they avoid it. So a cat, a dog touches something that shocks them, that harms them, they sense something threatens them, they run the other direction. And what does the human being do? We touch something that damages us, threatens us, harms us—chocolate cake, potato chips, looking at the wrong things, saying the wrong things, going to the wrong places. And what do we do? We keep coming back for more and more and more. So who's really superior to whom? The animal or the human being, says the רמח\"ל *Ramchal*. We think we're so much better. The animal knows what harms it and gets out of gets out of there. The human being knows, we intellectually know that something harms us, and yet we keep coming back. Why? Because the animal doesn't have a נשמה *neshama*. The animal doesn't have a יצר הרע *yetzer hara*. The animal was pre-programmed מששת ימי בראשית *mi'sheshes yemei bereishis* with a natural instinct and a natural intuition. So the animal knows to lift its leg next to that tree, and an animal knows it needs to eat, an animal needs to go for a walk and eliminate. It has an animal instinct, an animal impulse, an animal desire. It doesn't struggle with a יצר הרע *yetzer hara* because it doesn't have a נשמה *neshama*. We who have a נשמה *neshama* which indeed makes us superior, but it comes with this יצר הרע *yetzer hara*. And the יצר הרע *yetzer hara* has four ways of attacking us. And that's the ארבע אבות נזיקין *arba avos nezikin*. Number one is the שור *shor*, arrogance. הבור... ענין הנפילה ביאוש או חורבן על עצמו *Ha'bor... inyan ha'nefilah be'yeiush o churban al atzmo*, כשנדמה לו שהוא אבוד בגמרי *k'she'neidmah lo she'hu avud be'gamrei*, שזה מביא כפר לכל העבירות *she'zeh meivi kfar la'kol ha'aveiros*. What's a בור *bor*? A בור ברשות הרבים *bor b'reshus ha'rabim*, a person who digs a pit. So the pit in our life is falling into the pit of despair, is יאוש *yeiush*. When a person says, you know what, I'm unworthy, I'm inadequate, I'm pathetic, I'm never going to give up the chocolate cake or the potato chips, I'm never going to stop looking at those things on the internet, I'm never going to control my יצר הרע *yetzer hara* for gossip and for לשון הרע *lashon hara*. I'm never going to grow and being able to go to minyan or get to minyan on time. A בור *bor*, the pit in our life, how is that מזיק *mazik*? That damages us internally because it's the voice of of self-sabotage that says you're unworthy, you're incapable, you're pathetic, it's never going to happen. Who are you fooling, stop trying. המבעה זה השן *Ha'mav'eh zeh ha'shein*. So מבעה *mav'eh* represents the שן *shein*, tooth, היינו תאוות אכילה *hainu ta'avas achila*. That's when we eat the wrong things. Either eat the wrong things or eat the wrong quantities of the right things or or eat without making a ברכה *bracha* beforehand. ההבער מעוררת לתאוות יצר הרע *Ha'hev'er me'oreres le'ta'avas yetzer hara* בוער כאש *bo'er ke'eish*. הבער *Hev'er*, which is fire, represents the lust within us that burns, the drive which the id, the ego, the core drive of all men, the sexuality that burns inside people like a fire, passion. אלו הם ארבע אבות נזיקין *Eilu heim arba avos nezikin* השייכים לאדם לרע *she'shochach le'adam le'ra*. So these four, which all speak not to the external damages—so a very homiletically, על פי דרוש *al pi drush*, על פי חסידות *al pi chasidus*—the סלאנימער רבי *Slanimer Rebbe* is suggesting that the משנה *Mishna* in בבא קמא *Bava Kamma*, ארבע אבות נזיקין *arba avos nezikin* is not talking about four categories of how we damage one another, but four categories of how we damage ourselves, how we destroy our own lives. That these four categories are destroying our own, our own being, our own equilibrium, our own happiness. שור, בור, מבעה, והבער *Shor, bor, mav'eh, and hev'er* are four ways that we destroy our future. אלו הם ארבע אבות נזיקין ששייך לאדם לרע *Eilu heim arba avos nezikin she'shochach le'adam le'ra*. והאי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא לקים מילי דנזיקין *V'haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida le'kayem milei de'nezikin*, לעקור את ד' שרשי הרע הללו הנמצאים באדם *la'akor es dalet shorshei ha'ra ha'lalu ha'nimtza'im be'adam*. You want to be a חסיד *chasid*? You want to live with a certain sense of righteousness and virtue? You want to be the most meaningful, you want to be the best version of yourself? Learn מילי דחסידות *milei de'chasidus* means... מילי דנזיקין *milei de'nezikin* means get rid of שור, בור, מבעה, והבער *shor, bor, mav'eh, and hev'er*. Get rid of your arrogance, stop thinking you're inadequate and unworthy and stop giving up, stop engaging the world of food and eating incorrectly, and conquer that fire that burns inside you for the wrong things. ויש לעמוד ולבאר מה... המאמר דבעי למיהוי חסידא *V'yesh la'amod u'le'vaer mah... ha'ma'amar de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida*. דיני תורה *dinei Torah*. חסיד *chasid* הוא מגזרת חסד *chesed*. דחסד *de'chesed* הוא הפעולה *pe'ulah*, וחסיד *chasid* הוא איש החסד *ish ha'chesed*. So the word חסיד *chasid* comes from the word חסד *chesed*, right? Like a צדיק *tzaddik* does צדק *tzedek*, the חסיד *chasid* does חסד *chesed*. חסד *Chesed* is righteousness, kindness, loving-kindness. That's the act, that's the activity. But the individual who's transformed themself to be a person who does it is a חסיד *chasid*. היינו שעצם עצמותו ומהותו אך טוב וחסד *Hainu she'etzem atzmuso u'mehuso ach tov v'chesed*. It means that who you are in your core—you're not somebody who's selfish, self-centered, but you know what, you read somewhere or you heard a great talk by Charlie Harari and now you're going to go run and do חסד *chesed*. It's a person who just intuits, who has an instinct, it's the person who's driven to do חסד *chesed*, not because they feel guilty, not because there's peer pressure, not because they're trying to pad their שידוך *shidduch* resume, not because they're trying to impress someone, but they do it even when no one's looking and when no one's around and when no one sees, because they, they have this drive to do חסד *chesed*. I saw this video on the internet of a security camera caught a guy, there was a dog that was freezing and it was cold outside and he went and he got a blanket and he covered the sleeping dog. Okay, it's a dog, it's not a human being, but a dog also deserves to be kept warm. What's the godless? Why does a video like that go viral? Why are people excited about a video like that? Because nobody sees it. Because there's a security camera that caught a guy. It wasn't when everyone was walking down the street, it wasn't the Good Morning America crew was there to follow him putting the blanket on top of the, on top of the—he wasn't nominating himself for the CNN hero of the year. The godless of that video, the reason it goes viral is because nobody saw it. Somebody reviewed a security camera and found the guy doing this righteous act that nobody else saw. So that's a חסיד *chasid*. I don't know that he's a חסיד *chasid*, but he's a, that's a חסיד *chasid*. Why? Because he wasn't just doing חסד *chesed*, he intuited חסד *chesed* so much so that he was a חסיד *chasid*. והאי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא לא נאמר כשרוצה לקיים מצות ומעשים טובים *V'haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida lo ne'emar kshe'rotzeh le'kayem mitzvos u'ma'asim tovim*, אלא דבעי למיהוי חסידא *ela de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida*. So the Slanimer Rebbe points out that the, the גמרא *Gemara* then doesn't say, who is a person who wants to do חסד *chesed*, learn מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*? It says who's a person who wants to be a חסיד *chasid*. שרוצה להיות כאמור חסיד, שעצמותו ומהותו יהיה שורש הטוב *she'rotzeh liyos ka'amar chasid, she'atzmuso u'mehuso yihyeh shoreish ha'tov*, שמכח זה יקיים מעשיו ישר וטוב בעיני ה' *she'mi'koach zeh yekayem ma'asav yosher v'tov be'einei Hashem*. Not just a person who's a cruel, insensitive, self-centered, miserable אויסוואָרף *oysvorf*, but a person who is אך טוב וחסד *ach tov v'chesed*, who in their core only wants to do what's right. How do you transform yourself, mold yourself, shape yourself to be that person? By learning מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*. הדרך הזה עם מה שכתוב במהר\"ל בדרך החיים *Ha'derech hazeh imah she'kasuv be'Maharal be'derech ha'chaim*. It's such a core, important מהר\"ל *Maharal*. The מהר\"ל *Maharal* in his commentary on פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos* says, ענין השלימות כולל ג' חולקות *inyan ha'shleimus kollel gimel chulakos*. To be שלם *shalem*, ענין השלימות *inyan ha'shleimus* includes three relationships. Most people mistakenly think that in life, there are two relationships: בין אדם למקום *bein adam la'Makom*, בין אדם לחבירו *bein adam l'chaveiro*. We have relationships between us and God and relationships between us and fellow man. But the מהר\"ל *Maharal* introduces a third realm of a relationship, arguably the most important because if we're not healthy in that one, we struggle to be healthy in the others. And what are they? שלם בינו ובין בוראו *shalem beinav u'vein Boro*, between us and השם *Hashem*, שלם בינו ובין חבירו *shalem beinav u'vein chaveiro*, בין אדם למקום *bein adam l'Makom*, and שלם בינו ובין עצמו *shalem beinav u'vein atzmo*. The relationship we have with ourselves. ג' חלקי השלימות הללו הם תכלית השלימות *gimel chelkei ha'shleimus halalu heim tachlis ha'shleimus*. So at the root of achieving שלימות *shleimus*, of being whole and full in life, is a healthy, functional relationship between us and God, between us and man, but that all begins with a relationship between us and ourselves, believing in ourselves, giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt, letting ourselves break through and grow to be the best version of ourselves, and so on. In fact, that מהר\"ל *Maharal* in that דרך חיים *Derech Chaim* is an aside, it says whenever you study פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*, always, the magic number in פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*, פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos* is brought to you by the number three. Everything is three. על שלושה דברים העולם עומד *Al shlosha devarim ha'olam omeid*. ג' דברים מוציאין את האדם מן העולם *gimel devarim motzi'in es ha'adam min ha'olam*. שלושה *shlosha*, everything is brought to you by the number three. Says the מהר\"ל *Maharal*, go relearn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos* and plug in the three relationships. And every single משנה *Mishna* where you see there are three of something, one of them is describing בין אדם למקום *bein adam la'Makom*, one is describing בין אדם לחבירו *bein adam l'chaveiro*, and one is describing בין אדם לעצמו *bein adam l'atzmo*. And that's why he's going to use that מהר\"ל *Maharal* now to plug this into our גמרא בבא קמא *Gemara Bava Kamma*, and say the following: ובזה מבאר ג' הדעות *U'be'zeh meva'er gimel ha'deos* שהוא כאמור המאמר דבעי למיהוי חסידא *she'hu ka'amar ha'ma'amar de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida*, שרוצה להפוך מהותו לטוב עצם *she'rotzeh la'hafoch mehuso le'tov eitzem*. רב יהודה אמר לקים מילי דנזיקין *Rav Yehuda amar le'kayem milei de'Nezikin*, שהוא חלק השלימות שלם עם חבירו *she'hu cheilek ha'shleimus sholem im chaveiro*. So רב יהודה *Rav Yehuda* says, you want to become a חסיד *chasid*? Learn מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*. Stop damaging, stop harming your friend. שלא יאריך אחרי שהזיק ישלם לחבירו ויפייסיהו *shelo yarik acharei she'hizik yeshalem l'chaveiro v'yefiseihu*. We're not talking about what are the rules that after you damage him, here's how you compensate him. We're talking about how do you become a חסיד *chasid*? זה אין מילי דחסידות אלא מעיקר הדין *ze'ein milei de'chasidus ela me'ikar ha'din*. That's not becoming a חסיד *chasid*. If my car rams into your car and I make you whole and pay you, that doesn't make me a חסיד *chasid*. That makes you somebody who did the right thing. That's the הלכה *halacha*. מילי דחסידות *Milei de'chasidus* הוא זה שנשמר לכתחילה *nishmar le'chatchila*, שלא יגיע ממנו כל נזק לצד זולתו *shelo yagea me'menu kol nezek le'tzad zulato*. What it means to be a חסיד *chasid* is somebody who lives with such mindfulness, such caution, such care, that you never damage anyone else to begin with, כמו דאיתא במאמר שם בגמרא *k'mo de'isa be'ma'amar sham be'Gemara*. As we said earlier in the גמרא *Gemara*. חסידים ראשונים *Chasidim rishonim* היו מטמינים את קוצותיהם וזכוכיתותיהם בתוך שדותם *matminim es kotzoseihem u'zechuchisoseihem be'soch sedosam*, ג' טפחים בעומק האדמה *gimel tefachim be'omek ha'adamah*, כדי למנוע כל אפשר שינזקו בני אדם על ידיהם *kedei l'imno'a kol efshar she'yinazku bnei adam al yedeihem*. The early חסידים *chasidim* would dig, they would place these harmful thorns, broken glass in their field three טפחים *tefachim* underground so that nobody walking over it would get hurt. שהפליגו בגדלות הזהירות והשמירה לכתחילה *she'hifligu be'gadlus ha'zehirus v'ha'shmira le'chatchila* בעל יעבור האדם וינזק ועגינות נפש לזולתו *ba'al ya'avor ha'adam v'yinezak v'avginus nefesh l'zulato*. They could have said to themselves, it's my field. What are the chances anyone's going to be in my field? Or you're in my field, it's on the burdens on you to be careful and cautious. But they were חסידים *chasidim*. They transformed themselves to live with a sensitivity, a kindness, a love that they tried to not only do what we call responsive חסד *chesed*, they tried to do proactive חסד *chesed*. They tried to do anticipatory חסד *chesed*, prophylactic חסד *chesed*. They tried to identify someone could get hurt, I'm going to set my field up in such a way that no one could get hurt. We were watching the Vimeo from my kid's wedding and one of my other kids said, at the moment Mikey stepped on the glass, does that glass ever go through and in a shoe and and hurt their foot? The answer is yes. That's why I tell every חתן *chassan*, use your heel. So a person could step on glass, it goes right into the bottom of their foot, could rip it open. So you have to anticipate that. You have to say, use your heel, don't, don't, pretty much ruin the wedding if the חתן *chassan* has a huge gash, a piece of glass coming out of the bottom of his foot before the dancing ever starts. ובזה האי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא לקים מילי דנזיקין *U'be'zeh haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida le'kayem milei de'Nezikin* שישמר להזיק את חבירו בממונו *she'yishmar l'hazik es chaveiro be'mamono*. So רב יהודה's *Rav Yehuda's* opinion is, you want to become a חסיד *chasid*, not just you want to become somebody who lives מעיקר הדין *me'ikar ha'din*, to compensate someone after you've damaged them, you're just doing the הלכה *halacha*. You don't get מפטיר יונה *maftir yonah* for that. You didn't do anything special for that. You don't get honored for that. What makes you special, a חסיד *chasid*? When you anticipate, when you're proactive, then how do you achieve becoming a חסיד *chasid*? Learn מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*. וכל שכן בגופו בכן בדיבור *V'kol she'ken be'gufo be'chen be'dibur*, ובכל ענין שעלול לגרום לצער ונזק *u'be'chol inyan she'alul ligrom l'tza'ar v'nezek*, שהוא חלק השלימות שלם עם חבירו *she'hu cheilek ha'shleimus sholem im chaveiro*. Certainly in the way that you speak, and what you text, and what you email, and how you treat, and how you invite, how we interact with other people in a proactive, anticipating way is how you become a חסיד *chasid*. מילי דנזיקין *Milei de'Nezikin* doesn't just mean the technical four categories of נזיקין *nezikin*. He means don't be a מזיק *mazik* to someone else. Did you sweeten other people's lives or did you harm them, did you hurt them? You know, we all have people in our lives that interacting with them just sucks the life out of us. Their existence in our life is a מזיק *mazik*. Just every interaction is going to make us feel worse about ourselves, make us feel bad, deplete us of our energy. They damage. They're going to say something hurtful, they're going to make themselves feel better, better by putting us down. Those people are מזיק *mazik*. They didn't necessarily dig a hole and they didn't necessarily ram their car into ours, but they're מזיק *mazik* us even more significant ways, they're מזיק *mazik* us. You want to be a חסיד *chasid*? Think about the people in life and never be מזיק *mazik* them. רב יצחק *Rav Yitzchak* gets quoted the name of many רבנים *rebbes*, but when it says כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה *Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la'zeh*, the obligation, responsibility we have one towards the other, the word ערב *areiv* means a guarantor. If you go take out a loan in Israel from an Israeli bank and they demand a guarantor, they'll ask, who's your ערב *areiv*? Who's signing as a guarantor? So on a simple level, כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה *Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la'zeh* means that we we each have to be the guarantors one for another. We have to keep each other from getting in trouble. We have to bail each other out. And if I see that you didn't hear קידוש *Kiddush*, I say קידוש *Kiddush* for you. I blow שופר *shofar* for you, and so on. כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה *Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la'zeh*. But the חסידישע רבנים *Chassidishe rebbes* said, the word ערב *areiv* doesn't just mean guarantor, what else does ערב *areiv* mean? Think about it in the context of שיר השירים *Shir HaShirim*, כי קולך ערב ומראך נאוה *ki kolech areiv u'marech naveh*. There, your voice is ערב *areiv*, doesn't mean your voice is a guarantor. What does ערב *areiv* mean? Means your voice is sweet. כי קולך ערב *ki kolech areiv*. ערב *areiv* means sweet, delicious, sweet. Which means כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה *Kol Yisrael areivim zeh la'zeh*, the Jewish people, our mission, our job is to sweeten each other's lives. We've got to sweeten each other's lives, not harass and not one another. We've got to give more energy, not deplete energy, make people feel better about themselves, not worse about themselves. So, are we fulfilling the mission of כל ישראל ערבים *Kol Yisrael areivim*? Are we מערב *ma'ariv*? Are we sweetening each other's lives? Or מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*, are we harming? Are we hurting? Are we damaging each other spiritually, emotionally? So that's what it means, האי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסיד *haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasid*, a person who wants to not just do חסד *chesed*, but be a חסיד *chasid*, interacts with others in a way that they never harm or damage. ומילי דאבות הוא ענין השלימות בינו ובין עצמו *V'milei de'Avos hu inyan ha'shleimus beinav u'vein atzmo*. So the second opinion is that if you want to be a חסיד *chasid*, what do you have to learn? אבות *Avos*. What's אבות *Avos*? אבות *Avos* is בין אדם לעצמו *bein adam l'atzmo*. שבמסכת אבות כולה היא דרכים לאדם בדינא מדות *she'be'maseches Avos kulah hi drachim le'adam b'dina midos*, איך יגיע לשלימות עם עצמו *eich yagia le'shleimus im atzmo*. שלא יאריך במה שלא יפריע לחברותא אלא איך יסכן מדות עצמו *shelo yarik be'mah she'lo yafriah l'yechiduso ela eich yesaken midos atzmo*, כדי להגיע לשלימות *kedei l'hagia l'shleimus*. פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos* is all about not how do I not damage you, it's all about how do I mold and shape me. How do I become the best version of me? How do I fulfill my potential? How do I grow into becoming the person I'm meant to be? אבות *Avos* all speaks to בין אדם לעצמו *bein adam l'atzmo*. כמו שאמרו הקנאה והתאוה והכבוד מוציאין את האדם מן העולם *k'mo she'amru ha'kinah v'ha'ta'avah v'ha'kavod motzi'in es ha'adam min ha'olam*. As it says, jealousy or envy, lust, and the pursuit of honor remove a person from the world. אף שאינם נוהגים לזולתו, והם בין אדם לעצמו *af she'einam nohagim l'zulato, v'heim bein odom l'atzmo*. Now, envy and lust and honor have nothing to do with anyone around me. They're all internal character traits. So that's בין אדם לעצמו *bein adam l'atzmo*. שמוציאין אותו מן העולם הרוחני *she'motzi'in oso min ha'olam ha'ruchni*. And what does it mean that if you're a person who lives with envy, a person who lives with desire, a person who pursues honor, it's removed you from the world? What world? Says the Slanimer Rebbe, every person, כל המציל נפש אחת כאילו קיים עולם מלא *kol ha'matzil nefesh achas ke'ilu keiyem olam malei*. A person who saves one life is the whole world. Every human being is a world. So what world have you removed yourself from if your life is defined by being jealous of others and pursuing honor and lust? You've removed yourself from your own world. Your whole world comes crumbling down. Your own internal world implodes. So you see that learning מילי דאבות *milei de'Avos* is בין אדם לעצמו *bein adam l'atzmo*. כל עוד שאדם לא מקיים מילי דאבות, מידותיו מקולקלות *kol od she'adam lo mekayem milei de'Avos, midosav mekukalos*. As long as you haven't fulfilled shaping your character to, to imitate our greatest אבות *avos*, our greatest leaders, as long as your own character is damaged, is corrupt, in קנאה *kinah*, תאוה *ta'avah*, כבוד *kavod*, או בכל ענייני כעס *ka'as* ועצבות *atzvus* ועצלות *atzlus*. הרי זה גורם לו שאינו שלם עם עצמו *harei zeh gorem lo she'eino shalem im atzmo*. You're not really whole. You're not the best version of yourself. You can't be happy with yourself if you're not working on yourself. So מילי דנזיקין *Milei de'Nezikin* talks about how do I relate to other people? How do I sweeten people's lives instead of harming them? מילי דאבות *Milei de'Avos* speaks to my relationship with myself. How can I become the best version of me? כמאמר האדמו\"ר מבית אברהם *k'ma'amar ha'admor mi'Beis Avraham* בספר זכות ישראל *b'sefer Zchus Yisrael* על הפסוק דברי ריבות בשעריך *al ha'pasuk divrei rivos b'sha'arecha*. The פסוק *pasuk* says, it's פרשת שופטים *Parshas Shoftim*. דברי ריבות בשעריך *Divrei rivos b'sha'arecha*. When there are matters of dispute within your gates, היינו בשעריך שלך *hainu b'sha'arecha she'lcha*. Oh, oh, חסידישע ווארט *chassidishe vort*. What does it mean דברי ריבות בשעריך *divrei rivos b'sha'arecha*? Right there in פרשת שופטים *Parshas Shoftim*, בין דם לדם, בין דין לדין, בין נגע לנגע *bein dam la'dam, bein din la'din, bein nega la'nega*. So that's when you're dealing with all the different types of questions that could arise and what are the venues in order to resolve them. There the תורה *Torah* says, when you encounter דברי ריבות בשעריך *divrei rivos b'sha'arecha*, ריבות *rivos* like a ריב *riv*, a fight. When there's a conflict in your gates, so what's in your gates? Doesn't mean in your gated community. What does it mean בשעריך *b'sha'arecha*? היינו בשעריך שלך *Hainu b'sha'arecha she'lcha*. Where are internal gates? שבשעריך הפנימיים יש להם דברי ריבות *She'be'sha'arecha ha'pnimiyim yesh lahem divrei rivos*. The gates to our body, like שופטים ושוטרים תתן לך בכל שעריך *shoftim v'shotrim titen l'cha b'chol sha'arecha*. Your eyes, your ears, your mouth, every opening of our body is a gate to our body. So this is referring דברי ריבות בשעריך *divrei rivos b'sha'arecha* means that there's internal conflict, internal turmoil, internally we're not feeling whole. There's not an internal harmony that we're happy with ourselves. Our values don't match our actions. השכל שבמוח מבין כך *ha'sechel she'be'moach meivin kach*. So the brain in our, in our skull, the שכל *sechel* in our brain knows, ותשוקת הלב משתוקק לאחרת *u'tshukas ha'leiv mishtokek l'acheres*, וכלי המעשה נמשכים אחרי מעשה נפש הבהמי *u'klei ha'ma'aseh nimshachim acharei ma'aseh nefesh ha'bahami*. So what happens? Our brain knows what's right to do, but our heart longs for something else and our body gives into the animal instinct and animal impulse. So there's discord. There's disunity, disharmony within our own lives. We know what we're supposed to be doing, but we're not doing it. When that happens, when there's an inconsistency in our own lives, we feel a tremendous tension. And that's the דברי ריבות בשעריך *divrei rivos b'sha'arecha*. How do you correct it? How do you improve it, repair it? מילי דאבות *milei de'Avos*. Learn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos* and grow and apply פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos* and one perfects בין אדם לעצמו *bein odom l'atzmo*. You become a חסיד *chasid* בין אדם לעצמו *bein odom l'atzmo*. כמאמר הקדוש אין שלום בעצמי, היינו שהוא חסר שלימות בקרבו *k'ma'amar ha'kadosh ein shalom b'atzmi... hainu she'hu chaser shleimus b'kirbo*. כשהיהודי אינו כפי שצריך להיות *k'she'yehudi eino k'fi she'tzarich liyos*, הרי הוא תמיד חסר שלימות *harei hu tamid chaser shleimus*. When we're not living our best selves, so we feel incomplete. לעולם אינו שמח *l'olam eino sameach*. בחייו אינו חיים *be'chayav eino chaim*. It's hard to be happy and you're not living a great life if you're not living your best life. שכן הנשמה חלק אלוק ממעל *she'ken ha'neshama chelek eloka mima'al* שבקרבו גורם לו שתמיד תאסרהו ותזרהו *she'be'kirbo gorem lo she'tamid t'asreihu v'tazreihu*. Our נשמה *neshama* is a piece of השם *Hashem*. It's within us. השם *Hashem* is living, is dwelling inside us. He's entrusted us to be stewards over that piece of him, and we are being cruel if we're not treating it properly. ומילי דברכות הוא ענין השלימות בינו ובין בוראו *u'milei de'Brachos hu inyan ha'shleimus beinav u'vein Boro*. So the third area is the relationship, מילי דברכות *milei de'Brachos*, between us and השם *Hashem*. שמשמעותו הפנימית שבמילי דברכות *she'mashma'uso ha'pnimis she'be'milei de'Brachos* שכל הנאה שנהנים משים לבו כי לה' הארץ ומלואה *she'kol ha'na'ah she'nehenim me'simim libo ki l'Hashem ha'aretz u'mlo'ah* וניזול מהקדוש ברוך הוא *v'nazul mi'Hakadosh Baruch Hu* והוא הנותן לך בטובו ליהנות מידנו *v'hu ha'nosein l'cha be'tuvo liyanos mi'yedenu*. What's the purpose of making a ברכה *bracha*? To be able to recognize that any pleasure or joy we get in the world, לה' הארץ ומלואה *l'Hashem ha'aretz u'mlo'ah*, this is his world. I can't walk out of Publix or Winn-Dixie and steal food without paying and I can't enjoy the benefits, the beauty of this world without paying. And what is the commodity, the currency with which I pay השם *Hashem* to thank him for the gifts of this world? A ברכה *bracha*. A ברכה *bracha*. Make a ברכה *bracha*, as the song goes. והרי הוא מחוייב להודות לה' ולברכו על הנאה זו *v'harei hu mechuyav l'hodos l'Hashem v'lavarcho al ha'na'ah zu*. ועל ידי זה הוא מתקן את אכילת האוכל *v'al yedei zeh hu mesaken es achilas ha'ochel*. דכל הנאה שנהנה הוא מעלה אותו משורש המקורו *des kol ha'na'ah she'nehenein hu ma'aleh oso mi'shoresh ha'mekorav*. So by making a ברכה *bracha*, you transform what you're about to do. You're not just an animal about to ingest and digest some delicious food, you transform that food into a vehicle of קדושה *kedusha*. You're about to take a sip of the coffee. I already made a ברכה *bracha* on this coffee, but you're about to take a sip of the coffee. So is the coffee just there to to turn you into a mensch, to wake you up, to get your day started? Or by making the ברכה *bracha*, שהכל נהיה בדברו *shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro*, everything exists with his word. It's a beautiful insight on שהכל *shehakol*. My daughter Leora said at her בת מצוה *bas mitzvah*. I don't remember who she quoted when we learned it together. But שהכל *shehakol* is a non-specific ברכה *bracha*. So why do you say שהכל *shehakol*? פרי העץ *pri ha'eitz*, פרי האדמה *pri ha'adama*, מוציא לחם מן הארץ *motzi lechem min ha'aretz*, מזונות *mezonos*, and then you have שהכל *shehakol*, this generic. This is a געשמאַק *geshmak* insight. When you say the ברכה *bracha* שהכל נהיה בדברו *shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro*, so I mentioned before that sometimes we can go to restaurants which are extraordinarily overpriced for the food that you're getting. So you order X food and we know the ingredients cost very little and you're paying a tremendous exponential of that cost. Why are you paying that? And why are you willing to pay that? Why is it the same steak in Manhattan costs three times the steak in Boca Raton? And why do you drive over the bridge to pay the toll and put the car in the lot and pay the parking and go to, why are you going there? One of two reasons. Either you have a corporate card and the company's paying for it so you could care less about the price, or you're on a date, or it's an anniversary, and you're paying for the ambiance. Ooh, we went into Manhattan. We were in the fancy restaurant and the lights were dim and people were sitting right on top of us and we were all eavesdropping on each other's conversations and all the incredible ambiance. So you pay a premium for ambiance. So when you make a ברכה *bracha* שהכל *shehakol*... שהכל נהיה בדברו *shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro*, שהכל *shehakol*. I'm not just making a ברכה *bracha* on this געשמאַק *geshmak* coffee, which really at its core I should be thinking about the beans that grew out of the ground, and the people who harvested the beans, and the beans were packaged and then were sent, and the trucker who put them in the back of his truck and drove across however many highways to get it, and then the person who put the coffee beans in the grinder and ground it, and then it was packaged, and then it was put into the little K-cup, and then I overpaid for that and put it into my Keurig. And so שהכל *shehakol* means there are a thousand stages that I'm grateful for. ברוך השם *Baruch Hashem*, there was someone willing to work in the field in the sun to plant the coffee bean. I'm not interested in doing that. ברוך השם *Baruch Hashem*, there's willing to drive the truck. I'm not signing up to do that. ברוך השם *Baruch Hashem*, there was willing to someone willing to package the K-cup. I'm not, that's not my career aspiration. שהכל *Shehakol*, I'm thinking the thousand stages that happened till I got to the cup of coffee. But even more than that, שהכל נהיה בדברו *shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro* is a ברכה *bracha* to קדוש ברוך הוא *Kadosh Baruch Hu*. Not only am I drinking coffee right now, I'm in an air-conditioned room, I'm with good חברים *chaveirim*, I'm feeling comfortable, I took a shower this morning, it's drinking out of a great cup. The whole ambiance. I'm paying the premium of the שהכל *shehakol*, everything, not just the coffee, but ברוך השם *Baruch Hashem* for the entire ambiance I'm experiencing. So says the סלאנימער רבי *Slanimer Rebbe*, על ידי ג' חלקי השלימות מגיע למיהוי חסידא *al yedei gimel chelkei ha'shleimus magi'a le'mehevei chasida*. The three opinions in the גמרא *Gemara* are not arguing, they're not arguing, they're complimenting one another, and they're all agreeing. How do you achieve becoming a חסיד *chasid*? How do you become a חסיד *chasid*? You have to be שלם *shalem* בין אדם לעצמו *bein adam l'atzmo*, בין אדם לחבירו *bein adam l'chaveiro*, and בין אדם למקום *bein adam la'Makom*. How do you become שלם *shalem* in each of the three realms, in each of the three relationships in life? You become שלם *shalem* in your relationship with other people by mastering מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*. Don't damage, don't harm other people. And to be a חסיד *chasid* of מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin* doesn't just mean that you pay if you did damage, it means that you anticipate and avoid hurting people. How do you become שלם בין אדם לבורא *shalem bein adam la'Borei* between us and השם *Hashem*? A hundred ברכות *brachos* a day. Be appreciative, transform the physical, material activities you're doing into something righteous and holy. And how do you become שלם בין אדם לעצמו *shalem bein adam l'atzmo*? Learn פרקי אבות *Pirkei Avos*. Become the best version of yourself. ובאוד אופן יש לומר ענין האי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא *U've'od ofen yesh lomar, inyan haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida*. He's going to give a third פשט *pshat*. The first פשט *pshat* was that the four אבות נזיקין *avos nezikin* are talking about how we damage ourselves. And that's why to become a חסיד *chasid* you learn מילי דנזיקין *milei de'Nezikin*. The second פשט *pshat* is that the three opinions in the גמרא *Gemara* correspond with the three relationships in life. And now, the רבי *Rebbe* gives a third פשט *pshat*. ובאוד אופן יש לומר ענין האי מאן דבעי למיהוי חסידא על פי הברייתא דרבי פנחס בן יאיר *U've'od ofen yesh lomar inyan haiman de'ba'i le'mehevei chasida al pi ha'brisa de'Rav Pinchas ben Yair*. The ברייתא *brisa* of רבי פנחס בן יאיר *Rav Pinchas ben Yair* upon which all of מסילת ישרים *Mesilas Yesharim* is based. רבי פנחס בן יאיר's *Rav Pinchas ben Yair's* 12-step program to רוח הקודש *ruach ha'kodesh*. שאחר מדרגות קדושה וטהרה, עמונה, מדרגת החסידות, המביאה לידי רוח הקודש, וברוח הקודש מביא לידי תחיית המתים *she'achar madreigas kedusha v'tahara, amona, madreigas ha'chasidus, ha'mevia l'dei ruach ha'kodesh, u'be'ruach ha'kodesh mevi l'dei techiyas ha'meisim*. So the 12-step program of רבי פנחס בן יאיר *Rav Pinchas ben Yair* is, you have קדושה *kedusha*, you achieve a level, a level of holiness. Then you have טהרה *tahara*, purity, and then you get to רוח הקודש *ruach ha'kodesh*, then you merit to have רוח הקודש *ruach ha'kodesh*, and רוח הקודש *ruach ha'kodesh* brings תחיית המתים *techiyas ha'meisim*. שחסידות היא המדרגה הגבוהה ביותר, למעלה ממדרגת צדיק *she'chasidus hi ha'madreiga ha'gevoha be'yoser, l'ma'ala mi'madreigas tzaddik*. חסד *Chasid* is the highest level. ענין חסידות *Inyan chasidus* הוא לפנים משורת הדין *lifnim mi'shuras ha'din*. A חסיד *chasid* is מקפיד *makpid* לא רק על מה שמחוייב על פי הלכה *lo rak al mah she'mechuyav al pi halacha*, אלא עושה אף לפנים משורת הדין *ela oseh af lifnim mi'shuras ha'din*, ומקיים ועשית הישר והטוב בעיני ה' *u'mekayem v'asisa ha'yashar v'ha'tov be'einei Hashem*, שגם מה שאינו מחוייב מצד ההלכה *she'gam mah she'eino mechuyav mi'tzad ha'halacha* הוא עושה כדי שיהיה נחת רוח לפניו יתברך *hu oseh kedei she'yihyeh nachas ruach l'fanav Yisborach*. You know what it means to be a חסיד *chasid*, to achieve that highest level? You don't get away with the bare minimum. You can get away with the minimum in life. You can settle for mediocrity. [Error processing chunk 2]
