Transcript
Okay, good morning everyone. Hope everybody's staying warm in our frigid 60-something degree weather. This is not cold. I was just in New York for a wedding Sunday night. I'm going back tomorrow for another wedding. That's cold. This is not cold. Okay, as usual, our overview of the parsha, חיי שרה Chayei Sarah, and then we'll delve into our specific פסוקים psukim. Our parsha begins where last week parsha leaves off. Avram returns from the עקידה Akeida and he discovers that his beloved wife, his life partner, Sarah, has expired, she's died. What's her cause of death? What does it say on the death certificate? The עקידה Akeida. She was scared to death. We use that expression, someone's scared to death. She literally was scared to death. I mentioned this every year, that we learn from here the proper way that we're supposed to inform somebody. You don't call and say, you know, God told me to take your son, your only son, the one you waited so long, and I took a knife and I held it over his throat and I was, and then she died. He never got to the punch line that the angel said stop. Instead, if you have a Jewish mother, this is a very, very important lesson. Instead, חז\"ל Chazal learn from here that when you have to tell someone something, you call and you say, I want you to know your grandchild's fine. They're fine, everything's okay, they're perfect, they're fine. But listen to this crazy thing, the leg got caught in the playground and it broke, and we had to go to the hospital, but they're fine. You got to start off with they're fine, and then you could go back and tell the story. You can't tell the story and build drama and suspense, because שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu never lived for the punch line. She never heard that יצחק Yitzchak was okay, that the angel said stop. So the cause of death on her death certificate, Sarah was scared to death. This is the section we're going to study in depth. We'll come back and look at it in a moment. So Avram now has to find a burial place for his wife. He negotiates the plot of land, many of us have visited, מערת המכפלה Me'arat Hamachpela in חברון Chevron. Please God, we should visit for many more years. And Avram buries his wife Sarah there.And immediately afterwards, it describes ואברהם זקן בא בימים v'Avraham zaken ba bayamim. Avram is now an empty nester. Avram is a senior member of the community. וה' ברך את אברהם בכל v'Hashem berach et Avraham bakol. And Hashem had blessed Avram with everything. And Rashi says, what does it mean בכל bakol? בכל bakol in גמטריא gematria is בן ben. ומאחר שהיה לו בן היה צריך להשיא לו אישה u'mei'achar she'haya lo ben, haya tzarich l'hasi lo isha. בכל bakol in גמטריא gematria numerical value is the same as בן ben. Avram remembers he's blessed with everything. He has a son. And he now needs to find a wife for that son. The מדרש Medrash tells us בכל bakol means in fact, a daughter. That Avram had a daughter. But בכל bakol is kind of funny. His wife dies, he's in profound sense of mourning and grief, his life partner, after which he's never the same. And what's the epiphany, what's the realization after burying his wife? Oh boy, I have everything. You have everything? You just lost everything. How do you think שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu feels, listening from שמים Shamayim as Avram feels, oh, she's gone, now I have everything. What do you mean now you have everything? Now you've lost everything. What does this mean, בכל bakol? And we're not going to elaborate now, we've discussed it in the past. בכל bakol, מכל mikol, כל kol, we say it in בנטשינג bentching. With Avram we have בכל bakol, with יצחק Yitzchak we have מכל mikol, with יעקב Yaakov we have בכל bakol. At the end of our parsha, when Avram successfully finds a wife for יצחק Yitzchak, it says that Avram gave יצחק Yitzchak כל אשר לו kol asher lo, which we're to mean, which we are to understand, כל אשר לו kol asher lo is not that Avram bequeathed to יצחק Yitzchak everything he had. He had a number of real estate holdings and he had a stock market portfolio and he had a wonderful bookcase of ספרים sfarim and he gave him his gold watch and his cufflinks. No, בכל אשר לו bakol asher lo means he bequeathed to יצחק Yitzchak the sense of כל kol. This כל kol, that Hashem blessed Avram בכל bakol, he gave יצחק Yitzchak כל אשר לו kol asher lo, that כל kol. What is this magical כל kol that Avram felt blessed by even after the loss of his wife, that he gave to יצחק Yitzchak and יצחק Yitzchak gave to יעקב Yaakov? And יעקב Yaakov put in every one of our DNA a sense of כל kol. What is this sense of כל kol? It's a good question. We're going to talk about it, it's only Tuesday, but I think we're going to talk about it שבת Shabbos morning. יאך Yoch, I think I know what I'm going to talk about in my דרשה drasha already on Tuesday. So I have to leave you with some suspense. But Rashi is a hint. I'll tell you what I'm not going to say on שבת Shabbos. Rashi is a hint. What's the בכל bakol? בגמטריא בן b'gematria ben. He realizes he needs a wife for his son. Which means to say that Avram chooses not to look to the past, but Avram chooses with the loss of his wife to look to the future and he says, I have a son. And if I have continuity, and if I have a legacy, and if I will have progeny, then I have everything. Because you know what? ככה דרכו של עולם kachi darko shel olam. This is the way of the world, that people die. So my beloved life partner, my beloved wife Sarah is gone, a piece of me is gone, I will never be the same. But that's the way of the world. What matters most is I'm leaving a legacy to the world, I'm leaving the world different than the way I found it. I have a son through whom I will leave a value system to the world. And that's the continuity, perhaps that's what Rashi is saying, is immediately after burying his wife, ויקם, השדה והמערה אשר בו לאברהם מאת בני חת. He purchases it, he buries his wife, and ויקם מעל פני מתו vayakam me'al pnei meiso. He gets up, he chooses not to wallow in his grief and he says, I can be stuck in the past and a sense of loss, or I could be devoted to the future and finding my יצחק Yitzchak a wife. Because בכל bakol, if I have everything, I discovered God, I've revolutionized the world, I've converted thousands, I have a son to hand it off to, but what's the purpose of the בכל bakol if he doesn't have a wife? And won't have children of his own? If I won't have… this is the first Jewish grandfather nervous he won't have grandchildren. I have the בכל bakol but my יצחק Yitzchak needs a wife. And that's the transition, the juxtaposition from the loss of Sarah into Avram's recognition that even with her loss, בכל bakol, God has blessed me with everything, a יצחק Yitzchak, I have to find him a wife so that we can create a future and leave a legacy.אליעזר Eliezer serves on this mission. אליעזר Eliezer is somewhat disappointed, he thought he was going to be the מחותן mechutan with Avram. He heads out on this mission and he has these conditions. It has to be somebody who has חסד chesed. And we've talked about in the past, you could listen on YU Torah. The language, what do we talk about the act of doing חסד chesed? We talk about it as גמילות חסדים gemilus chasadim. A גומל חסד gomel chesed. Our חסד chesed is not just regular חסד chesed, what kind of חסד chesed is it? Camel חסד chesed. A גמל gamal. You ever think about the connection between גמילות חסדים gemilus chasadim and גומל חסד gomel chesed? No, no, I'm good. גומל חסד gomel chesed, גמילות חסדים gemilus chasadim, גומל חסד gomel chesed, גמל gamal, אליעזר Eliezer and רבקה Rivka. The test of whether in fact she's selfless and giving and caring, whether she intuits the quality that matters most, what's the test? With a גמל gamal, with a camel. What is it about the camel that we can learn about חסד chesed, and the camel was the mechanism or the symbol through which the test was carried out. We've talked about that in the past. But it's critically important. We live in the world of שידוכים shidduchim and resumes. I have a whole theory, I have an article I've been writing in my head, I don't just don't know if I'll ever have the courage to actually print, which is what should really be on the שידוך shidduch resume. Once you're married a few years, you realize, you know, what seminary she went to, what high school she went to, what she majored in, all that, okay, that's nice. What really matters about whether a marriage is compatible is, you know, what temperature does she want the thermostat set to? And can she sleep, can she sleep with a little bit of a light on? Can I read in bed or not? And when she go out to eat, does she like מילכיג milchig or פליישיג fleishig? And does she like to get to the airport early or likes to be the last one? Does she like to get on the plane at first or be the last one to board? Those are the real things that should be on a שידוך shidduch resume. Because you live long enough, you see that marriages dissolve, it's not that, you know what, we're compatible on, it's amazing and we work together and we have the same vision. She went to a different seminary than I wanted so we can't continue staying married. You know, marriages don't break off because of the things on the resume. So we need to redo the whole resume. But what was on Avram's resume? He sends אליעזר Eliezer. He sends אליעזר Eliezer and he says, when you examine the resumes, here's the one thing I want you to look for. Not whether her mother wears a שייטל sheitel or covers her hair when she, you know, whether she wears a robe on שבת Shabbos or שבת Shabbos clothing, does the father, what kind of יארמלקע yarmulke? None of that's on Avram's resume. When Avram looks, sends אליעזר Eliezer to check out the resume, what's the one thing? חסד Chesed. Kind. Is she kind? Is she kind? That's what I want to know, is she kind? If she's selfish, if she is elite, if she is spoiled, if she is, then she's not for my son. The one thing I want to know, is she kind? And that's the test. She's not only kind for אליעזר Eliezer, she's kind for his camels. אליעזר Eliezer goes back, has to meet this לבן Lavan, they begin the negotiation process and יצחק Yitzchak and רבקה Rivka marry. יצחק Yitzchak comes and from here we learn about the תפילה tefillah of מנחה Mincha. ויצא יצחק לשוח בשדה Vayeitzei Yitzchak lasuach basadeh. יצחק Yitzchak goes out to דאווענען daven in the field. שיחה Sicha is a לשון תפילה lashon tefillah. שערים בתפילה Shearim B'Tefillah, which we study on Wednesday mornings, could listen to online as well. Rav Pinkus develops the 13 synonyms for prayer. One of them is שיחה sicha. We have 13 different terms in תנ\"ך Tanach all describing prayer. And we don't have real synonyms in Judaism, in biblical Hebrew. There must be at least a subtle difference between them. It's teaching us something new. So שיחה sicha is different than the other languages. צעקה tzaka, זעקה zaka, תפילה tefilla, רינה rina, and so on. What's שיחה sicha? If you're in Israel and someone wants to have a שיחה sicha, what do they want to have with you? It's a conversation. שיחה Sicha is a conversation. It's a casual conversation. It's a, it's an intimate conversation. It's confiding in a friend. So there are prayers out of desperation, there are prayers of joy, there are prayers from a distance, and there's שיחה sicha which is prayer from a sense of closeness. Rav Soloveitchik points out that when it comes to Avram, it says וישכם אברהם בבקר vayashkem Avraham baboker, ויעמד vaya'amod. Avram stands. His posture is erect while he's talking to God. Whereas יצחק Yitzchak, the לשון lashon of שיחה sicha is more bent over. תפילה לעני כי יעטוף tefillah l'ani ki ya'atof. ולפני ה' ישפוך שיחו v'lifnei Hashem yishpoch sicho. that the poor person pours out, לפני ה' ישפוך שיחו lifnei Hashem yishpoch sicho, before God they pour their שיחה sicha. It's bent. Why the difference? Why is Avram's posture standing tall, upright, erect, whereas יצחק Yitzchak is described as somewhat hunched over and bent over? Rav Soloveitchik describes for whom was Avram דאווענען davening? דאווענען davening for סדום Sdom, then he דאווענען davening for his son, יצחק Yitzchak. When you're דאווענען davening for someone else, with a sense of protest and objection, then you stand up straight. But when you're דאווענען davening for yourself, יצחק Yitzchak is דאווענען davening for himself, there's humility. Person is humble. And that's the difference. Avram last week taught us about lobbying and advocacy. We mentioned it last week. He protests סדום Sdom. He gave us license. He is the precedent for our right to protest when we think there's injustice. He's דאווענען davening for others, whereas יצחק Yitzchak is דאווענען davening for himself. It's a sense of שיחה sicha. יצחק Yitzchak introduces us to the תפילה tefillah of מנחה Mincha. Avram, the גמרא Gemara in ברכות Brachos on דף כ\"ו עמוד א' daf kaf-vav amud aleph is a מחלוקת machlokes, whether our prayers correspond with the קרבנות korbanos, do our prayers correspond with the אבות Avos. אבות תקנום Avos tiknum. The answer is probably some integration of both. But we see Avram introduced the שחרית Shacharis and יצחק Yitzchak מנחה Mincha. Of the three prayers we say a day, which is the most potent? Which is the most beloved by the Almighty? Which does he welcome? Which pierces the heavens? מנחה Mincha. The גמרא Gemara says in ברכות Brachos, that I'm sorry, כ\"ו kaf-vav is this גמרא Gemara. כ\"ג kaf-gimmel is the אבות תקנום Avos tiknum. The גמרא Gemara says in ברכות Brachos that תפילת מנחה Tefillas Mincha, אליהו הנביא Eliyahu Hanavi only was answered because he appealed to God בהעלות מנחה b'ha'alos mincha, at מנחה Mincha time, the נביא navi says. Why is מנחה Mincha so precious? It's the shortest of them all. שחרית Shacharis is long, it's introduced with פסוקי דזמרה pesukei d'zimra, and the עמידה Amida, and all the אשרי Ashrei, ובא לציון Uva L'Tzion and all the rest. שחרית Shacharis is the longest. And מעריב Maariv also has קריאת שמע Krias Shema and ברכות קריאת שמע Birchos Krias Shema. מנחה Mincha is essentially the עמידה Amida. Okay, we buffer it, you throw in an אשרי Ashrei and עלנו Aleinu. מנחה Mincha is the עמידה Amida. So why is it the most precious to Hashem? Why is it the most beloved? So the popular explanation, Rav Gansfried, the קיצור שולחן ערוך Kitzur Shulchan Aruch and others say, because שחרית Shacharis you say at the beginning of the day. You wake up with a sense of enthusiasm and zeal, you greet the day with optimism and hope of what the day will bring. You've not yet begun your day, so you can schedule the first thing you do, I דאווענען daven שחרית Shacharis. מעריב Maariv, it's the end of the day. The day has wound down, you're reflective on the day, you're appreciative of the day, you've learned lessons from the day, but your day is over. So you דאווענען daven מעריב Maariv. Let's say you go to our 9:30 מעריב Maariv at night. You've come home, you had dinner, you saw your children, you talked to your wife, you reflected on the day and you go to מעריב Maariv to end your day with gratitude. But מנחה Mincha, where is מנחה Mincha? Smack in the middle of the day. You interrupt your day. You have business meetings and you have obligations and you have carpool and you have a million things, but you find the time in the middle of your day to have an anchor, to drop an anchor called דאווענען davening. Just when you're making deals and cutting deals, you say, you know what, it's not me. The עמידה Amida, it's about הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu, I depend and rely on him. You express this exercise in humility called דאווענען davening in the middle of the day. To find time in the middle of the day, the most difficult time to find to דאווענען daven, that's why מנחה Mincha is so beloved, that's why it is so appreciated by Hashem. יצחק Yitzchak introduces us to מנחה Mincha. The, there's a פירוש peirush, באר מים חיים Be'er Mayim Chayim, which says that יצחק Yitzchak introduces us to מנחה Mincha because יצחק Yitzchak was a קרבן עולה korban olah. He was an עולה olah sacrifice when he was brought on the מזבח mizbeach. He retained that status even though he was never actually offered. That's why יצחק Yitzchak could never leave Israel. Because he has the קדושה kedusha, he has the sanctity as if he is a living, walking sacrifice, a קרבן עולה korban olah. A קרבן עולה korban olah is brought with a מנחה mincha, מנחת העולה minchas ha'olah. So יצחק Yitzchak introduces מנחה mincha, the מנחת העולה minchas ha'olah, the מנחה mincha of, of יצחק Yitzchak. Okay, they begin their life together, יצחק Yitzchak and רבקה Rivka. Avram remarries this mysterious קטורה Keturah, הגר Hagar, not הגר Hagar, all that goes on. And then we have the death of Avram and ישמעאל Yishmael's genealogy. Interesting at the end of our parsha, we've also talked about this in the past, who shows up at Avram's funeral? ויגוע וימת אברהם בשיבה טובה זקן ושבע vayigva vayamot Avraham b'seiva tova zaken v'savea, ויאסף אל עמיו vayei'asef el amav. That Avram expires, he dies at a good age, and are righteous are described as ויאסף אל עמיו vayei'asef el amav, they're gathered to our people. What does it mean to be gathered to our people? But who buries Avram, who shows up? ויקברו אותו יצחק וישמעאל בנו אל מערת המכפלה Vayikberu oso Yitzchak v'Yishmael banav el Me'aras Hamachpela. Who's at the funeral? We expect יצחק Yitzchak to be there. The chosen child, the beloved, the prince. But who shows up? Maybe he's got some tattoos, some earrings, he came on a motorcycle, he came with his posse. Who comes? ישמעאל Yishmael. What is ישמעאל Yishmael doing? Rashi tells us ישמעאל Yishmael did תשובה teshuva, he came back, he embraced Avram's values. But how? Last we heard from ישמעאל Yishmael, he's getting kicked out of the house. He's expelled. What brought him back? What kept him connected? How did that relationship last? We talked about it in the past, we'll also leave for another time.So let's go back to the beginning of our parsha. ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו Baruch Atah Hashem Elokeinu Melech ha'olam shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro. אמן Amen. Oh, there's so much to talk about. Okay. Let's go back to the beginning of our parsha. ויהיו חיי שרה Vayihyu chayei Sarah, we are, what page is it in the Artscroll? 106. ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה Vayihyu chayei Sarah meah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim, shnei chayei Sarah. The lives, translate properly, it was not the life of Sarah. What does it say in the Artscroll? The lifetime. That's wrong. It says חיי שרה chayei Sarah, מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים meah shanah v'esrim shanah v'sheva shanim, שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah. It was the life of Sarah 127 years, or 100 years and 20 years and 7 years more accurately. These were the years of the life of Sarah. Rashi famously says, לכך נכתב שנה בכל כלל וכלל לומר לך שכל אחד נדרש לעצמו l'chach nichtav shanah b'chol klal v'klal lomar l'cha shekol echad nidrash l'atzmo. בת קוף כבת כ' לחטא bat kuf k'vat kaf l'chet. Why does it say? It's very inefficient the text. It should have said she was 127 years old. It doesn't say that. It says she was 100 years and 20 years and 7 years. It's a very inefficient way of expressing it. Why? Rashi quotes חז\"ל Chazal because when she was 100, she was as if she was, she had the innocence of a 20-year-old. A 20-year-old should have innocence. She had the innocence of a 20-year-old. When she was 20, ובת כ' כבת ז' ליופי u'vat kaf k'vat zayin l'yofi. And when she was 20, she had the sweetness, the charisma, the beauty, the childlike charisma of a seven-year-old. שני חיי שרה shnei chayei Sarah, the years of the life of Sarah, says Rashi, כולן שווין לטובה kulan shavin l'tova. Rav Soloveitchik in his chumash wonders, and we all know this. What do you mean? Biologically, chemically, it's impossible. In the realm of chemical processes, he writes, there's no way to retain biological youth in a middle-aged person, nor can the pattern of the middle age be preserved in old age. In the realm of the unfolding of the spirit, however, it's possible to see youth and ripe old age, even childhood and youth as simultaneous experiences. The Rav is reinterpreting Rashi, not to be describing a physiological phenomenon, but it's describing Sarah's spirit, it's her נשמה neshama. And he contrasts the Rav, interesting, he knew J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan, was a boy who refused to grow up and assume responsibility. In contrast, Sarah at 20 was mature and fully developed, both intellectually and emotionally. She was energetic, bold and daring. Yet the adult in Sarah did not destroy the child. In the deep recesses of her personality, no matter how developed, no matter how capable and brilliant, no matter how attractive and ingenious, always resided an innocent child. The adult might have reached the highest peak of intellectual greatness or growth, yet that did not interfere with the secret presence of the child in Sarah. Notwithstanding the maturation of her natural wisdom, she retained within her the young girl she had been once upon a time. In times of need and crisis, the young, bold, courageous girl came to the fore and took over. Youth represents idealism. The young are committed unconditionally, arrogantly defying the world. Avram, like Sarah, was a youth all his life. He defied the society of which he was a part. He shattered the idols in an act of holy arrogance. He dared to be iconoclast in a pagan society that worshipped icons. The ability to experience childhood, youth, and old age concurrently is a sign of the covenantal community. In other words, part of our being the offspring of Avram and Sarah is to retain that capacity to be a child and an adult simultaneously. Be a child at heart, have the innocence and purity. Don't be hardened and cynical and skeptical of the world like an adult. Stay a child. But at the same time, have the maturity and the sense of responsibility of an adult. I say this to every Bar and Bat Mitzvah child I meet with. So, you know, you live in a country, you're 12 or 13, you can't vote, you can't drink, you can't own a gun, you can't drive, you can't, you're not an adult, you're a kid. We come from a religion that says at 12 or 13, you're an adult. You're capable of the maturity of responsibility. But yet, don't stop being a child. Rav Schechter always points out that, you know, the author of the 19th ברכה bracha of שמונה עשרה Shemoneh Esrei, שמואל הקטן Shmuel Hakatan. His colleagues called him שמואל הקטן Shmuel Hakatan. Why did they have this nickname שמואל הקטן Shmuel Hakatan? He was, he was short? הקטן hakatan, he was small? No. שמואל הקטן Shmuel Hakatan meant that even though he was a mature old man, a mature adult, he was הקטן hakatan. Only when you have the purity, the innocence, when you're unscathed by this world, when you have no ulterior motive or agenda, can you write ולמלשינים v'lamalshinim. Only when you have the pure intent of a שמואל הקטן Shmuel Hakatan. So we have a בר מצוה Bar Mitzvah, a בת מצוה Bas Mitzvah, a person becomes an adult with all that being an adult means, but שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu taught us that never lose the child in you. That sense of idealism, that sense of aspiration, the sense of purity and innocence. Children are so sweet. They're not hardened to life experience that makes them skeptical of the people around them, cynical of everything that happens. And we have to have a little bit more childlike innocence inside of us. And that idealism is what motivates us to grow. אל תשליכנו לעת זקנה al tashlicheinu l'eis zikna. We said throughout the ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim period. We said, which the ציץ אליעזר Tzitz Eliezer explains means, אל תשליכנו לעת זקנה al tashlicheinu l'eis zikna, I'm not a זקן zaken. Why am I saying, God, don't, don't discard me in my old age. I'm not in my old age yet. Why is a 15-year-old, why is a 22-year-old saying, אל תשליכנו לעת זקנה al tashlicheinu l'eis zikna. And the ציץ אליעזר Tzitz Eliezer of Aldenberg explains it means, אל תשליכנו al tashlicheinu, don't dismiss me, לעת זקנה l'eis zikna, as if I'm a זקן zaken who's done growing, finished, arrived, finished product, has no growth yet. No, I still can grow, I still can change, don't give up on me. So, youth represents idealism and potential, and age represents life experience, wisdom, responsibility. Our job as offspring of Avram and Sarah is to combine the two like she did in her life, these years of 127.ותמת שרה Vatamas Sarah. Sarah dies. Where does she die? בקרית ארבע היא חברון בארץ כנען b'Kiryat Arba hi Chevron b'Eretz Canaan. She dies in קרית ארבע Kiryat Arba, which is synonymous with חברון Chevron, which is in the land of כנען Canaan. ויבוא אברהם לספוד לשרה ולבכותה vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa. And Avram comes to eulogize his wife and to cry for her. Why is it called קרית ארבע Kiryat Arba? Rashi says על שם ארבע ענקים שהיו שם al shem arba anakim she'hayu sham. There were four giants that lived there. דבר אחר davar acher, another reason it's called קרית ארבע Kiryat Arba is על שם ארבע זוגות שנקברו שם איש ואשתו al shem arba zugos she'nikberu sham ish v'ishto. We have four couples, four pairs who are buried there. אדם וחווה Adam v'Chava, אברהם ושרה Avraham v'Sarah, יצחק ורבקה Yitzchak v'Rivka, יעקב ולאה Yaakov v'Leah. So it's the קריה kirya of the ארבע arba, of the four couples or the four pairs who live there. The רשב\"ם Rashbam has a different tradition. The רשב\"ם Rashbam says why is it called קרית ארבע Kiryat Arba? שם האיש ארבע shem ha'ish Arba, כדכתיב ביהושע קרית ארבע אבי הענק kid'chsiv b'Yehoshua Kiryat Arba avi ha'anak. Because the name of the man who owned the land was ארבע Arba. You don't have to get such דרוש drush, the four couples, the four pairs. It was the קריה kirya of the man whose name was ארבע Arba. The רשב\"ם Rashbam disagrees with his זקן zeideh, with his grandfather. The רמב\"ן Ramban says, if you look at the רמב\"ן Ramban, I'm sorry. Okay, the רשב\"ם Rashbam, let's stick with the רשב\"ם Rashbam. So what happens? Sarah dies. Why does Sarah die now? Says the ספורנו Sforno, look at the ספורנו Sforno, פסוק ב' pasuk beis, ותמת שרה vatamas Sarah, אחר שנודע רבקה ראויה למלא מקום שרה, שנודע זה לאברהם, מתה שרה achar shenoda Rivka re'uya l'malei makom Sarah, shenoda zeh l'Avraham, meisa Sarah. Only once רבקה Rivka is born and the light of Sarah is destined to be replaced, now Sarah's can leave this world. As the גמרא Gemara says in יומא Yoma, אין צדיק נפטר מן העולם אלא אם כן נולד צדיק כמותו ein tzaddik niftar min ha'olam ela im kein nolad tzaddik k'moso. A righteous person doesn't leave this world, there's no vacancy of righteousness. So the righteous person can only leave this world when there's a new righteous person who will fill, who will fill their spot. The obvious question on this פסוק pasuk: Sarah dies in קרית ארבע Kiryat Arba, which is חברון Chevron in ארץ כנען Eretz Canaan. There is a discussion, by the way, why is Sarah dying in חברון Chevron? Where do Avram and Sarah live? בבאר שבע b'Be'er Sheva. In fact, that's what it says, ויבוא אברהם לספוד לשרה vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah. Rashi says ויבוא אברהם vayavo Avraham, where did Avram come from? באר שבע Be'er Sheva. If they live in באר שבע Be'er Sheva, why is Sarah in חברון Chevron? And Avram has to make his way from באר שבע Be'er Sheva to חברון Chevron. That's a question about which there is some discussion. So Rashi understands ויבוא אברהם vayavo Avraham, that Avram came literally. He had to come from באר שבע Be'er Sheva, geographically he had to journey to חברון Chevron where his wife had passed away so he could arrange her burial. The רשב\"ם Rashbam, Rashi's grandson, again disagrees. ויבוא אברהם vayavo Avraham, אפילו לא בא ממקום אחר, אף על פי כן ראוי לומר כי בא לסופדה afilu lo ba mimakom acher, af al pi kein ra'ui lomar ki ba l'sofda. He didn't come from anywhere else. He was in חברון Chevron. But a person has to dig deep and find the capacity to eulogize their wife. ויבוא Vayavo. He came. That was his mission, that was his goal, that was his singular focus, ויבוא vayavo. Says the רשב\"ם Rashbam, ויבוא vayavo doesn't mean geographic as זקן zeideh described. ויבוא vayavo means that Avram came for the express purpose of giving a הספד hesped for a הספד hesped for Sarah. A few interesting things about this פסוק pasuk. Many interesting things. Many interesting things. What should bother you about this פסוק pasuk? The order. What comes first? לספוד לשרה ולבכותה lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa? Beloved member of your family dies, parent, a grandparent, a sibling, God forbid a child. What happens first? First you write the eulogy and then you cry? First you cry. You know, your emotional reaction, recoil with a sense of grief, you cry. And then you put yourself together in order to be able to write a הספד hesped. Why does it describe לספוד לשרה lispod l'Sarah, here Avram first gives a הספד hesped, and only then afterwards does he allow himself to cry. Why is the order different? Rashi also notes, לספוד לשרה ולבכותה lispod l'Sarah v'livkosa. נסמכה מיתת שרה לעקדת יצחק nismicha misas Sarah l'akeidas Yitzchak, לפי שבשביל בשורת העקדה שנזדמן בנה לשחיטה, וכימעט שלא נשחט, פרחה נשמתה ממנה ומתה l'fi she'bishvil besuras ha'akeida shenizdamen bna l'shchita, v'kimat shelo nishchat, parcha nishmasa mimena u'meisa. As I said before, she heard about יצחק Yitzchak, she didn't get the punch line, and she died out of, out of fear. But why the different order? Rav Soloveitchik has a comment here, and Rav Soloveitchik says it's for the following reason: Avram cried. The beloved Sarah was snatched away from him. Her אוהל ohel, her tent will be forever empty and forsaken. The blow to Avram as an individual was almost unbearable. It's not הספד hesped which describes Avram's state of mind most precisely, but rather בכי bechi. It's feeling the desolation. But Sarah was not only Avram's mate, his comrade as well. Sarah was his collaborator and co-participant in all the great plans, hopes and visions. Together they discovered God. Together they discovered a new morality. Together they joined the covenant. In a word, Sarah and Avram started the מסורה mesorah. Not only Avram taught the people, but Sarah as well. It says that Avram was מגייר את האנשים megayer es ha'anashim, and Sarah מגיירת את הנשים megayeres es hanashim, the בראשית רבה Bereishis Rabbah. Now the mother is dead and the מסורה mesorah has a father but no mother. The מסורה mesorah is incomplete. Avram mourns Sarah in this respect as a colleague, teacher, co-founder of the מסורה mesorah. The grief experienced here is classified under הספד hesped. Not the hysterical בכי bechi, it portrays a different sort of mourning. Torah is telling us that Avram first mourned the death of the mother of the מסורה mesorah, and then the death of a lovely wife, without whom his life will be desolate, bleak and dreary. So in other words, Avram experiences the loss of Sarah in two ways. It's his life partner, his soulmate, the love of his life, his confidant, the mother of his child. But she's also his partner in what he brought to the world and the mother of the מסורה mesorah, of the covenantal community. הספד Hesped, the eulogy, the admiration for her, corresponds not with the private role she played for him in their tent, but the public role she was in transforming the world. בכי Bechi, the crying, is about the intimacy, the privacy, her role as his wife in their tent. When it came time to say goodbye and to mark her significance, which did he put first? The private role she played for him in the tent. tent, or the public role she was in transforming the world? It's first לספוד לשרה lispod l'Sarah, first he recognized her broader, greater role in the world, and only then בכיי bechi, the personal loss that he, that he experienced. It's very interesting, the Rav points out here. Avraham's historical mission could not have been implemented without Sarah's participation. Both appeared together in Jewish history. Upon Sarah's death, Avraham lost his mission. Just as Sarah's tent was passed to רבקה Rivka, the house of Avraham was given to Yitzchak. Avraham mourned over Sarah, but also over the fact that he had to withdraw from the פתח האוהל pesach ha'ohel, the front of the tent into the shadows. We don't hear from Avraham again. Avraham reaches a peak with Sarah, and when Sarah dies, that's the only interaction with Avraham now is his interest in setting Yitzchak up to inherit the legacy. But Avraham as a mover and shaker, Avraham as a catalyst of world change, Avraham as a father of nations, that's in the past. Without his life partner, he is incomplete. He's not the same person he once was, and that's why we don't see Avraham's impact anymore in a broader, in a broader sense. אין אשה מתה אלא לבעלה Ein isha meisa ela l'ba'alah, חז\"ל Chazal say, that the loss of a spouse impacts the surviving spouse more than it does anyone else. The children can cry, that person's parent can cry, but the spouse, אין אשה מתה אלא לבעלה Ein isha meisa ela l'ba'alah, when a person, when a woman passes away, her husband is broken, he's incomplete, he's a shell of who he once was. And that's what was in the case of Avraham. And despite that, he puts first לספוד לשרה lispod l'Sarah and only then ולבכותה v'livkosah, first identifies, marks, memorializes her broader role of the Jewish people and only afterwards her personal role. You know, we give Avraham a lot of credit. We talk about אברהם אבינו Avraham Avinu all the time. And Sarah, we depict as if she's playing a minor role on the stage of world history. But Sarah was a major, major force. Sarah was an incredible influence. And you see it from Avraham's being incomplete without her. But for example, גמרא Gemara in מגילה י\"ד Megillah Yud Daled tells us there were seven prophetesses in our history. Sarah was not only the first, she was the greatest among all of them. The מדרש Midrash tells us that all the other prophetesses spoke to God through a מלאך malach, an intermediary. Sarah exclusively among them spoke directly with Hashem. The זוהר Zohar points out that Sarah is the only woman in תנ\"ך Tanach whose age is given when it talks about her death. Why? Some of the מפרשים meforshim explain because Sarah lived every day to its fullest. So when noting her death, it mentions her age to describe that every moment of every day of her life was filled with meaning. Sarah is described as one of the four most beautiful women in all of Jewish history, שרה רחב אביגיל ואסתר Sarah, Rachav, Avigail, and Esther. says הנפש אשר עשו בחרן hanefesh asher asu b'Charan, that Sarah was מגיירת את הנשים megayeres es hanashim, that while Avraham gave the קרוב kiruv classes to the men, Sarah was transforming the world with the women's trips to Israel and the women's outreach classes and her, her impact. It says, כל שנותיה עברו בשמחה ובששון Kol shnoseha avru b'simcha uv'sason. The מדרש Midrash says all the years she was radiant and joyful and happy. Now, if you read the text, it doesn't sound like she should be. She longed for a son, she was willing to allow her husband to have a different wife. Finally she has that son and he's getting bad influence from her stepson. Sarah's goes to Egypt and twice she has to pretend she's her husband's sister. It doesn't sound like she had the easiest life, but the מדרש Midrash testifies that כל שנותיה עברו בשמחה ובששון kol shnoseha avru b'simcha uv'sason, she was joyful and happy and had incredible sense of אמונה emunah. She's the first of the אבות ואמהות Avos v'Imahos to be buried in מערת המכפלה Me'aras Hamachpeilah, together with Adam and חוה Chava. She has tremendous, tremendous virtue. And Avraham comes לספוד לשרה ולבכותה lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah. And the מדרש תנחומא Midrash Tanchuma tells us, what was the הספד hesped that Avraham gave? You're all familiar with it. The מדרש תנחומא Midrash Tanchuma says, אשת חיל Eishes Chayil. אשת חיל Eishes Chayil is the הספד hesped. Avraham got up and he read אשת חיל Eishes Chayil. Wasn't שלמה המלך Shlomo Hamelech who composed it. It was Avraham Avinu in tribute to his wife, Sarah. You know, Benzion Shenker, זכרונו לברכה zichrono livracha was נפתר niftar this week. He was a great Jewish musician and he composed the אשת חיל Eishes Chayil that we all sing. אשת חיל מי ימצא Eishes chayil mi yimtza. That's his. Which left me wondering, what did anyone sing before? Was is there another tune? I don't even know of another tune for אשת חיל Eishes Chayil. I never heard of any other tunes. I guess people just said אשת חיל Eishes Chayil before Benzion Shenker was born. I don't know, but he left us that great legacy. The universal tune of אשת חיל Eishes Chayil sung at every Jewish שבת Shabbos table, it doesn't matter what יארמלקע yarmulke you wear, what level of פרומקייט frumkeit, everyone uses the same tune universally. Who's there, Benzion Shenker. But that אשת חיל Eishes Chayil that we sing was Avraham's הספד hesped for his wife. And of all her qualities, her brilliance, her faith, her courage, her tenacity, what best captures Sarah's life in this הספד hesped? So the מדרש Midrash tells us דרשה צמר ופשתים darsha tzemer u'fishtim. She sorts out wool from, sorts out wool from linen? Are you kidding? It's a woman who transformed the world. Brilliant, insightful, impactful. She revolutionized the world, she brought light into the world. She was an incredible giver. The fact that she could sort wool and linen? Are you kidding? She sorted the laundry. Oh, what a הספד hesped. A גישמאקע geshmake woman, unbelievable. That's it? דרשה צמר ופשתים Darsha tzemer u'fishtim with all the things Avraham could say, that's what he said, דרשה צמר ופשתים darsha tzemer u'fishtim. So the מדרש רבה Midrash Rabbah elaborates that דרשה צמר ופשתים darsha tzemer u'fishtim, separating wool and linen, is a metaphor of separating יצחק Yitzchak from ישמעאל Yishmael. You see, Sarah and Avraham had been locked in a conflict. Avraham was כולו חסד kulo chesed. כולו חסד Kulo chesed. He could never expel somebody. Avraham could never exile someone. To kick Yishmael out of the, give him one more chance, חסד chesed, one more chance, give him one more chance. We have to work harder, we have to be more flexible. Give him one more chance. Sarah, in her commitment to protecting her יצחק Yitzchak was more rigid. I wish the best for ישמעאל Yishmael. I want him to succeed, but I can't afford to expose יצחק Yitzchak to ישמעאל Yishmael. I will not allow יצחק Yitzchak to go down with him. I will not allow יצחק Yitzchak to give into peer pressure and to be introduced to alcohol and to drugs and to language and to images. So I wish the best for ישמעאל Yishmael and I too love ישמעאל Yishmael says Sarah to Avraham. But they need to be separated. And so the מדרש Midrash is testifying, in this great conflict and debate, who was right? Sarah. דרשה צמר ופשתים Darsha tzemer u'fishtim. Sarah knew how to separate the wool from the linen. When it was necessary to create some filters and barriers to protect wholesomeness, that she was right. The שם טוב Shem Tov, Rav Weinberger says, when it describes ויבוא אברהם לספוד לשרה vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah, Rashi said ויבוא vayavo, he came from באר שבע Be'er Sheva. The רשב\"ם Rashbam said ויבוא vayavo, it means he prepared himself, he was ready. Says the מדרש Midrash, ויבוא אברהם לספוד לשרה Vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah, where did he come from? He came from the funeral of תרח Terach. Funeral of תרח Terach? happened a long time ago. What do you mean ויבוא vayavo? He came from the funeral of תרח Terach, his father, to the funeral of his wife, Sarah? Chronologically it doesn't work out. Says the שם טוב Shem Tov, what it means is from the funeral of תרח Terach, Sarah had killed the influence of תרח Terach, and that gave Yitzchak the אמונה emunah to go through the עקידה Akeidah. ויבוא Vayavo, Avraham came from תרח Terach to mourn for Sarah means he realized he had to have a proper barrier. And there's a very important lesson for all of us in parenting, how we find the balance between the חסד chesed, when, when is the appropriate time for חסד chesed and when is the appropriate time like Sarah, דרשה צמר ופשתים darsha tzemer u'fishtim, to find that sense of separation. But Sarah, our matriarch was incredibly great in her own right. She was an influential Jewish woman. Anyone who studies תנ\"ך Tanach and thinks that Judaism doesn't have a role or place for women in leadership, in transformation is not is not paying attention. All of our אמהות Imahos, חנה Chana, אביגיל Avigail, go down, go down the list. You have דבורה Devorah, you have, it's incredible. And Sarah really set the stage, set the standard and plays that role here and she's and she's mourned for. The, Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz had a different insight. I know we normally stick with the ראשונים Rishonim, but I have such good stuff, I can't help but share it with you. So ר' חיים שמואלביץ' Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz says the following. It's quoted by Rav Yankel Galinsky in his ספר באגרתא sefer b'Igarta. So it says Avraham, ויבוא אברהם לספוד לשרה vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah. Avraham comes, comes to give a הספד hesped for his Sarah, and then he cries. And what's the הספד hesped he gives? So one פשט pshat is the אשת חיל Eishes Chayil. But Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz is just sticking with Rashi. What's the, what's the הספד hesped he gives? So, he could have talked about the fact that she's the greatest of all the prophetesses. He could have talked about the fact that she had a רוח הקודש ruach hakodesh, she had divine inspiration. He could have talked about her teaching skills. He could have talked about her hospitality, how she excelled at הכנסת אורחים hachnasas orchim. He could have talked about all these things, but that's not it. What does he say? שהיו כל שנותיה שווים לטובה shehayu kol shnoseha shavim l'tova. That all of her years were equal. She didn't wax and wane, she didn't have ups and downs, she didn't have different periods of her life, but she was consistent. When Avraham has to give a הספד hesped, what is it? לספוד לשרה ולבכותה lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah. What's his הספד hesped? Rashi said כולן שוים לטובה kulan shavim l'tova. His הספד hesped is all her years were equal. That's the הספד hesped. So Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz says, yeah, you see that surpassing even all the other accolades, hospitality, brilliance, teacher, wisdom, transformational leader, but superseding or surpassing all of them is the ability to be consistent. What he calls רציפות retzifus, to not have a break or a lull. You know, people retire, people are exhausted, people feel at times uninspired or unmotivated, and we have cycles in our life. We have cycles of inspiration and of a lack of inspiration. Sarah never had cycles. She was consistent all the way through, and of all the praises and accolades that could be offered, you see that that is the greatest. And Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz adds on, this is the story of the גמרא Gemara in כתובות ונדרים Kesubos v'Nedarim of the daughter of כלבא שבוע Kalba Savua, the great Rochel who was the wife of Rabbi Akiva. That Rabbi Akiva went to go learn and what happens, he comes back after the agreed time to learn, the 12 years, and he sees Rochel and she turns him around and says, go back to learn more. Turns him around, go back to learn more. He can't spend one hour at home, one day at home, one week, one month. She understands the value of רציפות retzifus, of consistency. That if it were, if it were 12 years with a break with 12 years, it'd be 12 years and 12 years. But only by turning right around was it 24 years as a unit. The value of consistency without taking a break. We all know what it's like. If you ever exercise or work out, you know that if you take even a short break, when you go back and start it again, oy, do you pay again. You ache, you can't stand up, you can't move, you can't, if you just take a short break, if you lose the consistency, the רציפות retzifus, it sets you so far back, not quite like starting again, but almost all the way there. Okay, let's keep going now. So much more good stuff. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. So what's next? Avraham now has to find her a burial place. He is prepared to give a eulogy, he cries, we talked about it at length. What happens? ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו וידבר אל בני חת לאמור Vayakom Avraham mei'al pnei meiso vayedaber el bnei Ches leimor. Avraham gets up and he speaks to the people of חת Cheis. גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם Ger v'soshav anochi imachem. I am a stranger and a resident together with you. תנו לי אחוזת קבר עמכם T'nu li achuzas kever imachem, ואקברה מתי מלפני v'ekberah meisi milfanai. He says, I'm a resident, I'm a stranger, and a resident together with you. Give me a burial property so that I can bury my dead from before me. Allow me to bury my beloved wife. גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם Ger v'soshav anochi imachem. Rashi says, גר מארץ אחרת ger mei'eretz acheres, ונתיישבתי עמכם v'nisyashavti imachem. I'm an immigrant, I come from elsewhere and I came to dwell here legally. מדרש אגדה Midrash Aggadah, אם תרצו הריני גר ואם לאו אהיה תושב im tirtzu hareini ger v'im lav eheyeh soshav, ואטלנה מן הדין v'etlena min hadin, שאמר לי הקדוש ברוך הוא לזרעך אתן את הארץ הזאת she'amar li Hakadosh Baruch Hu l'zaracha esen es ha'aretz hazos. Rashi quotes a great מדרש Midrash. גר Ger, I'm an immigrant. Sell me the land. I will tell you, it's yours. It's yours, and I need to buy it, so sell it to me. And if you're unwilling to sell it to me, then know that תושב toshav, that the truth is it's really my land. God promised it to me. God gave it to me. So even though I've positioned myself to you like I'm a stranger and I've asked you to sell it to me, but the truth is it's my land. I'm a תושב toshav. So sell it to me, I'm happy to pay, and if you refuse, know that really it's my land. גר ותושב Ger v'soshav. The Sforno says, גר ותושב Ger v'soshav, בשביל שהיותי גר אין לי פה קבר b'shvil shehiyosi ger ein li poh kever. ומי לך פה כי חצבת לך פה קבר u'mi lecha poh ki chatzavta lecha poh kever. I'm an immigrant, so I don't have a, I don't have an ancestral plot to bury my loved one. I need to buy a family plot. והטעם שאני מבקש לקנותה מפני שאני תושב עמכם v'hataam she'ani mevakesh liknosa mipnei she'ani toshav imachem, שבאתי להשתקע לא לגור בלבד shebasi l'hishtake'a lo lagur bilvad. And I want you to know, you want to know evidence that I plan on being here a long time? True, I'm an immigrant, I'm a גר ger, so I don't have a natural place to bury, and I want to buy land. But you're worried, why should you sell me land, here today, gone tomorrow? תושב אנוכי עמכם Toshav anochi imachem, because I want to stay. I want to be a resident, I'm in it long term. So the Sforno says that's the contrast, גר ותושב ger v'soshav, גר Ger means I need to buy a piece of land. Ah, you're afraid to sell it to me because I'm going to be out of here. תושב Toshav, I plan on staying here for the long haul. You have nothing to fear, sell me the land. The Rav, the Rav describes that this is essentially the tension that the Jew of diaspora lives with. גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם Ger v'soshav anochi imachem. We are on the one hand a גר ger. We are separate, different, and apart from the world in which we live. We have different values, we have different priorities, we have a different lifestyle. And at the same time, we are a תושב toshav. We are a part of even while we are apart from. We are integrated, we contribute to society, we participate in society, we benefit from society. This is essentially the tension of the modern Orthodox Jew. גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם Ger v'soshav anochi imachem. I am a גר ger, it's not that I assimilate into you as if I have no other values or lifestyle. I'm a stranger. You and I have nothing in common. But תושב v'soshav, we have so much in common. And that balance, that tension about where do I integrate and where do I stay away? When am I part of and when when am I apart from? That's the balance that we have from Avraham Avinu of גר ותושב אנוכי עמכם ger v'soshav anochi imachem. Continuing. Now we get to the, to the, uh, negotiation. The Kli Yakar, just to go back a moment. I forgot to mention, the Kli Yakar also addresses why is the הספד hesped coming before the בכי bechi? Why is the eulogy before the wailing, the crying, it should be the opposite order. מילות לספוד לשרה הקדים בין דבקים milos lispod l'Sarah hikdim bein dveikim. I'm on the Kli Yakar now. כי היה לו להספוד, לזכותו של שרה כי כל המיצר עליה לא יזכה לסופדו ולבכותה Ki hayah lo l'haspid, lispod l'Sarah, ki kulo miyoser eleh lomer lispod v'livkosah. גם במקום אחר הבכי קודם להספד Gam b'makom acher habechi kodem l'hesped. So he asks our question. נראה לי שבכל מת נורמלי האבל הולך ומתמעט Nireh li sheb'chol meis normali ha'evel holeich u'mismayeit, כי ברבות הימים המת נשכח Ki birvos hayamim hameis nishkach. אמנם בצדיקים זו בכל יום ויום הרגישו ביותר היעדר שלו Omnam batzadikim zu b'chol yom v'yom hirgishu b'yoser he'eder shelo. So the Kli Yakar's answer is normally the only thing that heals the wounds of loss is time. Time. As much as we wish we could accelerate time to comfort mourners faster, we can't. When a person experiences loss, grief, the only thing that heals is time. Of course there's support groups and bereavement groups and there are things we can do, but essentially the only thing is time. So normally what happens, with the passage of time, one transitions from acute grief to a less grief and then they heal and they're able to go on with their life. So therefore it's first בכי bechi, you cry, and then a הספד hesped, now you put yourself together and you can give the הספד hesped, and then you go on to שבעה shivah, and שלושים shloshim, and י\"ב חדש yud beis chodesh, and then you just observe a יארצייט yahrzeit once a year, you say יזכור yizkor. Not that you've forgotten all together about the person, but it's not part of your daily consciousness the way it is when it's acute. That's normal. says the קלי יקר Kli Yakar, Sarah, what Sarah meant in Avraham's life, he was inconsolable. It's not that he cried, then he healed from that so he could give the הספד hesped, then he healed from that so he could move on. He gave the הספד hesped, but he just didn't stop crying. לספוד לשרה ולבכותה Lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah means every day that went on, it didn't get better, it got worse because he felt her loss even more and more and more. And that's why it goes against the natural order because of who she was. That's the קלי יקר's Kli Yakar's explanation. Continuing. Just if you live in Israel, תושב ישראל toshav Yisrael, you get a, you get a קבר kever, yeah. You don't have to pay for nothing almost. You're a citizen, your town you get a grave in the city that you live. Right. But he was a גר ger, so he didn't have it. ויענו בני חת את אברהם לאמור לו Vaya'anu bnei Ches es Avraham leimor lo. So the people of חת Cheis answer him and they say, שמענו אדוני נשיא אלוקים אתה בתוכנו Shma'einu adoni nesi Elokim ata b'socheinu. Oh, Avraham, your reputation precedes you. You're a נשיא אלוקים nesi Elokim. We know who you are, we've heard about you. You're a חשובע'ר chashever guy. במבחר קברינו קבור את מתך B'mivchar k'vareinu kvor es meisecha. Choose from the best land, whatever you want. איש ממנו את קברו לא יכלה ממך Ish mimenu es kivro lo yichleh mimecha, מקבור מתך mikvor meisecha. Nobody will oppose or protest, nobody will block you from burying your beloved, your beloved Sarah. ויקם אברהם וישתחו לעם הארץ לבני חת Vayakom Avraham vayishtachu l'am ha'aretz livnei Ches. Avraham is very appreciative. He nods and bows in appreciation. וידבר איתם לאמור Vayedaber itam leimor, and he says, אם יש את נפשכם לקבור את מתי מלפני im yesh es nafshechem likbor es meisi milfanai, שמעוני ופגעו לי בעפרון בן צחר shma'uni ufig'u li b'Efron ben Tzochar. If you are in fact willing to be so cooperative, if you're willing to assist me in securing a place to bury my wife, so please, פגעו לי בעפרון pig'u li b'Efron, what's פגעו לי pig'u li? Introduce me, set me up to meet Efron. Rashi says פגעו לי pig'u li is לשון בקשה lashon bakasha. Avraham is asking, please, I need your help, I need to meet Efron. The Sforno says פגעו לי pig'u li, שימכור אף על פי שאינו נוהג איש נכבד למכור מנחלתו sheyimkor af al pi she'eino noheig ish nichbad limkor minachlaso, כמו שהשיב נבות ואמר חלילה לי ממתתי את נחלת אבותי לך k'mo sheheishiv Navos v'amar chalilah li mitisi es nachlas avosai lach. The Sforno says, what's פגעו לי pig'u li? Why is, why is Avraham asking? Avraham is willing to pay a hefty fee. So why is he as if it's such a great favor? The answer is the person who owns real estate and somebody wants to turn part of it into a burial plot, that's a big favor. Efron is a distinguished man and that's why this Sforno says Avraham is saying ופגעו לי u'fig'u li, it's a בקשה bakasha, it's a, I know that I need to ask Efron to do something unusual, sort of a compromise for him. ויתן לי את מערת המכפלה אשר לו v'yiten li es me'aras hamachpeilah asher lo, אשר בקצה שדהו asher biktzeh sadeh hu. Please introduce me, please, advocate for me because I want to buy מערת המכפלה Me'aras Hamachpeilah, which is on the edge of his field. בכסף מלא יתננה לי בתוככם לאחוזת קבר B'chesef malei yitnenah li b'sochechem l'achuzas kaver. I'm willing to pay full price, I'm willing to pay a great fee. I want to purchase this land. Why does he say it's on the edge of his field? Sforno says, ולא בשביל זה יחשב נחלתו v'lo bishvil zeh yachshich nachlaso. I'm not looking to buy something smack in the middle of his field. I'm not looking to put a burial plot in a way which will ruin his real estate holding, his asset. I want to put it on the edge of the field. I'll buy the edge of his field. It won't impact the rest of the way that he uses his field. And I'm willing to pay. says the Sforno בכסף מלא b'chesef malei. אין חפצי שיגיע מכם ערעור לכבודכם Ein cheftzi sheyagia michem ir'ur l'chvodchem. I'm not looking for you to lose money. I'm just looking to pay my way so that I can give honor to my wife. Why is it called מערת המכפלה Me'aras Hamachpeilah? Rashi says, מכפלה בית ועליה על גביו Machpeilah, bayis v'aliyah al gabav. It's two stories. מכפלה Machpeilah, it's double, it's two stories. That's why it's called מערת המכפלה Me'aras Hamachpeilah. דבר אחר שכפולה בזוגות Davar acher, shekfulah b'zugos. There are numerous pairs. כפולה kfulos, כפל keifel is a pair. Since there are four pairs buried there, it's מערה Me'arah, it's the cave of מכפלה Machpeilah, of the pairs of the four pairs who are buried there. So Rashi gives those two reasons. The Ibn Ezra gives a third reason. Why is it called מערת המכפלה Me'aras Hamachpeilah? מערה בתוך מערה Me'arah b'soch me'arah. It's a cave inside a cave. The Ramban comes along, he quotes Rashi and he says אינו נכון eino nachon. The פסוק pasuk says שדה עפרון אשר במכפלה sdei Efron asher baMachpeilah, הוא שם המקום אשר בו השדה hu shem hamakom asher bo hasadeh. אין צורך לבקש טעם לשם מקומות Ein tzorech l'vakesh taam l'shem m'komos. says the Ramban to Rashi, why are you so busy trying to come up with דרשות drashos figuring out why it's called מכפלה Machpeilah? It's the name of the place. When a place has a name, it doesn't have to have a reason why. Boca Raton, the mouth of the rat. Why, why is it called the mouth of the rat? It's because just stop דרש'ענען darsh'ening. Somebody needed to give a name, they gave a name. So it's called, says the Ramban, it's called מכפלה Machpeilah, that was the name of the place. מכפלה Machpeilah, it's the cave of מכפלה Machpeilah. So a big מחלוקת machlokes why is exactly called מערת המכפלה Me'aras Hamachpeilah. So Avraham identifies this is what I want, it's the edge of the field, I'm willing to pay. ועפרון יושב בתוך בני חת V'Efron yosheiv b'soch bnei Ches. Efron sitting there. ויען עפרון החתי את אברהם באזני בני חת Vayaan Efron haChiti es Avraham b'oznei vnei Ches, לכל באי שער עירו לאמור l'chol ba'ei sha'ar iro leimor. And Efron says, and the text goes out of its way to describe that Efron says it loudly so everyone can hear. לא אדוני שמעני השדה נתתי לך והמערה אשר בו לך נתתיה Lo adoni shma'eini hasadeh n'sasi lach v'hame'arah asher bo lach n'sasiha. I won't hear of it. The field is yours. Avraham, Avraham you're such a distinguished person, such a prominent person. The cave is yours. לעיני בני עמי נתתיה לך קבור מתך l'einei vnei ami n'sasiha lach kvor meisecha. In front of everyone, I am magnanimously, generously giving it to you. It's yours. Go bury your wife. וישתחו אברהם לפני עם הארץ Vayishtachu Avraham lifnei am ha'aretz. Avraham acknowledges the crowd. וידבר Vayedaber and then he turns to Efron, באזני עם הארץ לאמור b'oznei am ha'aretz leimor and he says it so they can all hear. אך אם אתה לו שמעני Ach im ata lu shma'eini, נתתי כסף השדה קח ממני nasati kesef hasadeh kach mimeni, ואקברה את מתי שמה v'ekberah es meisi shamah. שכח Shkoyach Efron, it's a nice gesture. I want to pay. I'm going to pay. Why does he insist on paying? Rashi tells us, because he anticipates that in the future people will come and challenge the Jews don't own Chevron. So what are the three places that we bought because we knew they would come and challenge us? What are they? הר הבית Har Habayis, קבר יוסף Kever Yosef, Chevron and קבר יוסף Kever Yosef, and קבר יוסף Kever Yosef in שכם Shechem. So they'll come and say, they still say it anyway. Right, we can show them, you know, פרק כ\"ג פסוק י\"ד perek kaf gimmel pasuk yud daled, they still come and tell us anyway. So Avraham says, so a fantastic drama unfolding here. Efron gathers everyone because he wants them to hear when he tells Avraham, it's yours, I can't take a penny. Avraham bows to the crowd, nice of him, שכח shkoyach, then also says loudly so they can hear, I won't hear of it, I want to pay you everything. I want to pay you everything. ויען עפרון את אברהם Vayaan Efron es Avraham, he says, okay, אדוני שמעני ארץ ארבע מאות שקל כסף ביני ובינך מה היא Adoni shma'eini, eretz arba me'os shekel kesef beini u'veinecha mah hi, ואת מתך קבור v'es meisecha kvor. What's $400 million between us? A minute ago Efron was willing to give it away for nothing, and now he's charging an exorbitant fee. וישמע אברהם אל עפרון וישקול אברהם לעפרון את הכסף Vayishma Avraham el Efron, vayishkol Avraham l'Efron es hakasef. Avraham hears Efron and he takes the money that he had spoken באזני בני חת ארבע מאות שקל כסף עובר לסוחר b'oznei vnei Ches, arba me'os shekel kesef oveir lasocher, and he pays Efron. What is וישמע אברהם vayishma Avraham, he hears. Shouldn't it say וישמע אברהם את עפרון vayishma Avraham es Efron? Why does it say וישמע אל עפרון vayishma el Efron? Comes the רשב\"ם Rashbam and says וישמע אברהם vayishma Avraham, די לחכימא ברמיזא dai l'chakima b'remiza. What did Avraham hear? Not the ארבע מאות שקל כסף arba me'os shekel kesef. וישמע אברהם Vayishma Avraham means Avraham heard between the lines. Avraham saw who this Efron was. Avraham saw the duplicitousness and the hypocrisy, he saw how fake and what a fraud that Efron tried to appear magnanimous. He wanted to impress the בני חת Bnei Ches so he made sure they all hear when he offered it for nothing, and then when it came time, he didn't negotiate a fair price, he extorted Avraham because it's what the funeral industry in Florida would call at need. This was not a pre-need negotiation, this was an at-need negotiation. So Efron who a moment ago said, money, how can I take a penny from you? You and I, you insist on paying? Okay, it's 400 million dollars. A minute ago he wanted to give it for free, now he's extorting Avraham. וישמע אל עפרון Vayishma el Efron. It's not that he heard את עפרון es Efron, the words Efron was saying, he heard between the lines. He read Efron for who he really was. And חז\"ל Chazal derived from here, שונא מתנות יחיה sonei matanos yichyeh, that one should always turn down gifts. Don't take freebies, because you know nothing is free. Strings attached, there's always a condition. So Avraham doesn't want this freebie, and this is a precedent for us, don't take freebies. A lot more to talk about but we only have two minutes left, so I want to end with this. רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah says, רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah says, you know, we have a tradition, the Mishna in פרקי אבות Pirkei Avos tells us that Avraham endured 10 tests. No less than 10 tests. How do you enumerate them? It's a great מחלוקת machlokes among the commentaries, fun exercise to figure out which are the 10 tests and in what order. So it's normally thought that the 10th test happened when, the end of last week's פרשה parsha. The end of last week's פרשה parsha, the עקידה Akeidah. That was the, the climax, the culmination of all tests is the עקידה Akeidah. comes along רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah and he says, no. When was the 10th test? The beginning of our פרשה parsha. What's the 10th test at the beginning of our פרשה parsha? So the Slanimer Rebbe says, you know what the 10th test was? When Avraham came back from the עקידה Akeidah, he's got a little, you know, a little jump in a little skip in his walk. He's floating on air, he's surpassed this impossible test. He's still arm in arm with his יצחק Yitzchak who survived. He's on top of the world. And then he comes home and he finds that what? Sarah had died. What might he have thought at that moment? You know what? I regret doing the עקידה Akeidah. I regret listening to God. I should have said to God, no way, I'm not doing it, and then my Sarah would still be here. He looked back on something he had done that was right that didn't have the best result, he could have regretted it, and he didn't. That was the 10th test. And says the סלונים'ר רבי Slanimer Rebbe, that's what we say in מעריב Maariv every night, והסר שטן מלפנינו v'haseir Satan milfaneinu ומאחרינו u'mei'achareinu. The שטן מלפנינו Satan milfaneinu, the evil urge that's in front of us is the temptation, the desire, the opportunity. What's the שטן מאחרינו Satan mei'achareinu behind us? If it's behind us, we've already passed it. What's מאחרינו mei'achareinu, it means even when you look back on something good or right that you did that didn't have the result that you hoped for or anticipated, if you don't regret doing the right thing, that's the 10th test, says the סלונים'ר רבי Slanimer Rebbe. But רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah, others suggest that the 10th test was that Avraham had to pay for something he already owned. He had been promised by God himself, this is your land. For a Jew to pay for something they already own, it's talk a great, a great test. Another suggestion is that Avraham could have been overwhelmed by the loss of his wife, by the grief, and yet he got himself together in order to pass the test. But I want to tell you another פשט pshat they say in רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah. This is Rav Dessler. Rav Dessler says, you know what Avraham's 10th test was, the culmination of all tests, is to always be a מענטש mentsh. When Efron is playing around with Avraham, here is a man who is grief stricken. He just came back from almost killing his son, to discover that his wife, his life partner, his other half has gone. And he just wants to buy a field and he's willing to pay what it costs. And Efron is giving him the run around and there's a whole fake thing going on. And what might Avraham have done? He might have lost it. He could scream at Efron, he could yell at Efron. He could totally lose his cool. Efron is a greedy, corrupt, brutish negotiator. He positions himself like he's going to do the greatest favor, and then he doesn't hesitate to extort Avraham for an exorbitant sum of 400 silver shekel. The generosity was a sham, it was disingenuous. And Avraham could have lashed back out at him, and they could have had a heated exchange and a heated negotiation, but Avraham didn't. At that that moment, Avraham didn't lose his cool. He didn't yell and scream. says Rav Dessler, he remained a מענטש mentsh, and being a מענטש mentsh under difficult circumstances, that is the culmination of all the tests. That's Avraham's 10th test. It's a test that we face on a regular basis, that even when someone tests our patience, that's the language we use. You tested my patience. You tested my kindness. Even in those moments to never lose one's cool, Avram stayed a מענטש *mensch*, even when his patience was tested, and that is the test for all of us as well. Rabbi Moskowitz's phenomenal class will take place now. Reminder, Friday morning is our monthly sunrise מנין *minyan* on the beach. It's going to be a beautiful sunrise and a magnificent crisp morning, Friday morning. Rabbi, you know what time it starts? I don't know, check with the שול *shul* office or see the email. I don't remember what time it starts.
