Transcript
Good morning Boker tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna. Great to be back together again, b'ezrat Hashem. Great to be working on our Emuna together again. I hope, you know, Emuna doesn't take a break just because I took a break. So I hope everybody was still learning, listening, working, executing, manifesting, planning, doing everything they need to do for Emuna even during the time while we were away because it never takes a break. As always we begin with an attitude of gratitude. Our gratitude never ends and we are always grateful to our Emuna series sponsors, Avi and Bella Morgen in memory of Rebbe Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Shanzar and in honor of our holy IDF soldiers. May Hashem watch over them, protect them while they protect us. Our series is also generously sponsored anonymously in memory of the fallen soldiers of בני דוד ישיבה מכינה and Mechina Eli. We remember the wounded soldiers, their families who continue to face lasting challenges of recovery. Please continue to daven for נתנאל אילן בן שינא ציפורא. He made Aliyah with his family from Silver Spring in 2006. He was critically wounded in the 2018 terrorist attack. He survived the severe brain injury and continues in rehab even all these years later, and we daven for him. His mother says he is always smiling, which we'll get to in a moment, but he's always smiling no matter what. Today's shiur is also sponsored by Shmuel and Esther Scheiwitz l'iluy nishmas his father יעקב יהודה בן גדליה, zechuso v'refua sheleima for her mother בת-שבע בת בלומא רבקה, anonymously for refua sheleima speedy recovery Sara bas Michal, by Lianne Prouli l'iluy nishmas her father ירחמיאל דוד בן אלחנן on his first Yahrtzeit, nishmaso shetehei b'aliyah, and by Aliza Pellicane l'iluy nishmas her father בן-ציון בן ישעיהו ברוך דה ריבא. Thank you for your generous sponsorship. Nishmaso shetehei b'aliyah and everybody, our learning should be dedicated in the memory of all of these wonderful and special people. As always we'll start with some emails. I was away for a little bit. We missed just one week, I think just one week, but nevertheless got a lot of emails. Continue to send them. I appreciate them, I grow from them, I'm inspired by them, I learn from them. So I don't get a chance to read them all in the shiur, but I hope you benefit from writing them as I always say, and I know I benefit from reading them and I hope you'll continue to send them. On the Living with Emuna class you mentioned the loss of Rabbi Jonathan Cohn. I mentioned my friend Rabbi Joco, Rabbi Jonathan Cohn, tremendous, tremendous loss, a young man who when asked what we can do for him, he replied, \"Smile because others are seeing your face.\" So this author writes, \"I'm on a volunteer trip to help out in Israel. Today we went to the Nova site, which was hard and emotional. In all that, it was as you say a wink from Hashem that so many pictures of the beautiful nishamas had quotes about smiling.\" I'm attaching some of them that I walked by. One of them, \"Grab onto life and smile at it. A smile is the fire that burns away tears. A smile and an attitude are a matter of choice. The best way to live is with a smile.\" So many of those who lost their lives, kedoshim, who were murdered for being Jews at Nova. Whatever day they were there and whatever they're not observing by being there, I wrote about this, I spoke about this, maybe both, there was the Nova exhibit that came to Florida. I wasn't there. Yocheved led a trip from the shul that saw it. We were at the Nova site several times, but at the Nova exhibit here in Florida they had a table of things that were recovered from the Nova site and you cannot imagine how many siddurim, Tehillim, sefarim of Rabbi Nachman, of Chabad, and you say to yourself the Nova festival took place on Shabbos, on Yom Tov. How is it consistent that there was a table of these things there? And the answer is that we don't sit in judgment of others. These were souls that were longing, looking. These were souls that were yearning, these were souls that were searching, that were finding in their own way. And these were kedoshim, these were souls that Hashem took. And so many of them in their tribute at Nova site, the author of this email sharing, had all kinds of quotes connected to smiling. \"Grab onto life and smile. A smile's the fire that burns away tears. A smile and an attitude are a matter of choice. The best way to live is with a smile.\" There was also one who changed his WhatsApp status a few days before he was killed saying, quote, \"If it belongs to you, it will find its way to you, and if not, it probably is not yours.\" What a lesson of Emuna that we receive from Hashem what is meant to be ours. Thank you for the Emuna shiur, it's really made an impact. Here is a picture he sent from the Nova festival, one of the kedoshim, Nadav: \"If it belongs to you it will find its way to you, and if not, it probably is not yours.\" Statement of Emuna that he changed his WhatsApp status to just a couple of days before he left this world. All their nishamas, I would say shetehei b'aliyah but kedoshim are next to the Kisei HaKavod, they don't need it. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I hope you're enjoying your vacation. Baruch Hashem. Last week, was there a vacation? When was that? I don't remember. Did we go somewhere? Last week I wasn't at the Emuna shiur because I was away and I first got a chance to listen to it today. I was pleasantly surprised by your advocating the positive usage of AI for various life activities. I went on some unsolicited little rant about the value and use, positively, judiciously. carefully, but the benefit of using it. Before listening to the Emuna Shiur, I was embarrassed to say I've at times turned to ChatGPT for advice, Divrei Torah ideas for speeches, even to create rewards for my grandchildren. Yesterday I looked for guidance on how to handle a particular situation. Without going into the details, I found the words of encouragement helpful. I thought you would appreciate the following excerpt from my conversation with ChatGPT. Quote, because I know your faith is important to you I'd like to leave you with a verse that has comforted many people over the centuries. This is AI talking to the author of this email. Because I know your faith is important to you I'd like to leave you with a verse that has comforted many people over the centuries. Quote, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you, for you are with me, end quote, Psalm 23 said ChatGPT. Notice that it says walk through the valley, it doesn't say we avoid it or rush past it, we simply keep walking one step at a time. What a vort from ChatGPT? No? What a dvar Torah. Again, it's a whole separate conversation to be careful, judicious, moderation, filtered, I'm not all in, I am partially in because there is enormous benefit and no ChatGPT should not replace your Emuna Shiur, it can't, although looks like it's starting to get close. But wow, wow and how impressive. Quotes the pasuk, Psalm 23, and then notice. It doesn't say avoid the, if you believe in Hashem you could avoid the valley of the shadow of death. If you walk with Hashem, then you can rush past, you can fly over, you can dig under. Doesn't say any of that. What does it say? It says even though you walk through. You can walk through. What a vort. When you have Hashem by your side, when Hashem is holding your arm, when Hashem is with you, when you can keep walking one step at a time and put one foot in front of the other, then you can walk even through the valley of the shadow of death. גם כי אלך בגיא צלמות לא אירא רע. Why? Ki ata imadi. My friend Ben made stickers, he has it on his steering wheel, he has it all over, he sent it to us, Ki ata imadi. We learned before years ago in an Emuna Shiur, remember we harped on and we learned about that expression, that phrase, that pasuk from David Hamelech's beautiful Tehillim chaf-gimmel. Ki ata imadi, you're with me. Sometimes you feel so alone. Sometimes we wonder does anyone care, does anyone see us, does anyone know what we're going through? Is there a reason? Does it matter? Is there meaning? Does this make a difference? And we can feel so alone. And that's what David Hamelech was saying, Ki ata imadi, Ki ata imadi. A Yid who believes, a Yid who lives with emuna and bitachon, Ki ata imadi is never alone. You are with me. Ki ata, because you, are imadi, you're with me. Now the root of the word imadi, with me, is omed. I am just thinking about this as I'm saying it, because I'm trying to compete with ChatGPT. Imadi, the root of the word imadi, you are with me, is to stand. Maybe what gives me the power to be able to stand is knowing you are with me. I can be omed, I can stand, because you're imadi, you are with me. So whatever I face, whatever I have to navigate, whatever I have to walk through, I can walk through it because I'm holding onto you, holding onto you, holding onto you. So, Yehudis bas Esther and בת שבע בת יענטא רחל, two women in my life who recently had knee replacement surgery, they're learning to walk again. And how do they do it? Because they're holding onto something. And if they had to walk alone without holding onto something after the knees were replaced, you could buckle, you could fall. But what gives the confidence? I can walk one step at a time, I'm going to get back, I'm learning like my great-grandchildren to walk and then to run because Ki ata imadi. We can take those steps one at a time, we can walk and ultimately run, we can stand strong and proud because I know you are with me. Imadi, when you're with me I can be omed. Ki ata imadi. So what a vort. It doesn't say when you're with me I can avoid. I've told you the story, maybe I haven't. This was years ago, a woman in our community, a ba'alas teshuvah, who was going through a hard time in her marriage that ultimately led to a divorce, financially and in a lot of different ways. And she said I don't understand, the rabbi who was mekarev me, the person who inspired me told me that if I embrace a life of Torah and mitzvos, there's nothing more rewarding, nothing more beautiful, and it's going to be amazing, my life's going to be incredible, my life's going to be wonderful, my life's going to be joyful, my life's going to be blissful. So what happened? Why isn't he keeping up his end of the deal? I'm doing everything on my side. I transformed my life, I dress modestly, I keep Shabbos, I keep Kosher. I'm doing everything, I'm making enormous sacrifices. Why am I going through these challenges? Why am I going through these problems? And I told her she should sue the rabbi for malpractice. I said who's the rabbi? Someone should call him, maybe he should choose another career because that was blatant malpractice. Nowhere, nowhere, I can confidently tell you, nowhere, nowhere does the Torah promise that if you live with Hashem... Life is happy and blissful, you have your health, you get married young, you have as many babies as you want, they all give you nachas, you have the money to pay for them. Nowhere, nowhere does the Torah make you those promises. Nowhere. In fact, it says the opposite. It says that life has challenges and life is problems and life isn't easy and it wasn't meant to be. But, but, if you live a life of emuna, if you live a life with him, you find meaning and purpose in those challenges. You find his presence, you find he's with us as we navigate them. We have the capacity to go and to get through them. I suggested years ago that maybe this is the conversation. By the way, this is why, my friend Jeremy, when we read the emails, it's not a waste of we're not just reading emails, we're darshing, we're learning, the emails stimulate and provoke divrei Torah and thought and it generates emuna, real conversation on people's minds through the emails that we write, and therefore you can see I'm not defensive at all about the fact that we read emails at the beginning of the emuna shiur. So why, when Yosef and Pharaoh meet each other... can imagine, not Yosef, Yaakov and Pharaoh meet each other, Yosef is so excited his father finally comes down to Mitzrayim after years of separation. And he's going to introduce these two major figures in his life. No one is comparable to his father Yaakov, but also his mentor Pharaoh, his mentor the Emperor of Egypt, the most powerful man on earth. And the two are going to finally meet in the oval office, sit down, a meet between Yaakov the spiritual giant of the generation and Pharaoh the most powerful man alive. And the Torah gives us, lets us be a fly on the wall. What do they talk about? Pharaoh says, \"Oh, wow, you look old. How old are you?\" And Yaakov says, \"I am pretty old, I've had a really rough life.\" And Pharaoh says, \"Okay, nice to meet you, bless me.\" And Yaakov gave him a blessing and they go on their way. And it is the most disappointing conversation, the most pedestrian conversation, the most ordinary conversation. They don't talk about how to solve world peace. They don't talk about how to bring redemption to the world. They don't talk about... this is what they talk about. And there are all kinds of interpretation like Ksav HaKabbala, רב יעקב צבי מעקלענבורג, the Ksav HaKabbala he says, this is what's called דברים של מה בכך. There's a concept Chazal, the Gemara already uses that expression: דברים של מה בכך. You know what דברים של מה בכך translates to? Small talk. Small talk. And says the Ksav HaKabbala, you know what the Torah is telling us? Sometimes you should see the value of small talk. There are people who are so hyper-driven, people who are so hyper-productive. Every conversation needs an agenda and a goal and an outcome and a purpose, and sometimes you have to know: small talk. How's the weather? Sometimes small talk. What's your menu for Shabbos? Sometimes small talk. Why? Says the Ksav HaKabbala because if every conversation you always have an agenda, then the conversation was never about connecting with the other person for who they are, it was about the goal and the outcome that you seek. But if you can have small talk with someone where there's no outcome, there's no agenda, there's no productivity in mind, then what was the goal? Simply the connection with the other person. You don't walk away with some life-changing, life-transforming, some breakthrough, some action item, some agenda. You just walked away having felt connected in the presence of another. I just published, and then I'm going to come back, remind me, we're on a long detour, but we're going to come back to the highway. I published last night an article... I went to the Ohel last week, this week, this week on Sunday. Almost every trip I go to New York I try to stop at the Ohel. And I was trying to figure out why. Why? My beard's not long enough, although I wish it were. But why? Why am I always at the... they have great cookies. Great cookies at the Ohel. They have great cookies. But that's not what's bringing me back. Why do I keep going back? So I wrote an article about why I went back, but connected to that article and its conclusion... ah, here we go again. Connected to that article and its conclusion, I share that Chabad has a very interesting practice. Starting next week, hopefully we'll all be in Yerushalayim, maybe with the war back on and the ceasefire that never existed over, we're on our way still to the elimination of evil in this world and the geula, and this is all part of the path to Moshiach, and we're not going to observe Tisha B'Av sitting down, we're going to observe Tisha B'Av standing tall this year im yirtzeh Hashem. We don't know Hashem's plans, but we can daven for it. We can daven for it. But with the nine days comes the prohibition of eating meat and many people have siyums. Camps every night they have a siyum on a section of learning on a masechta of Gemara. You see restaurants advertise: siyum on the hour, so you could come have your fleishigs, God forbid you'd live without it, and this is coming from a carnivore over here, but God forbid you'd live without it. Siyums all the time. Chabad has a very interesting practice that goes all the way back, one of the earlier Rebbes, Sholom Dovber of Lubavitch, who said there's a Chabad minhag to make a siyum every... every day of the nine days on Tisha B'av itself and all the way through Tu B'Av and to not eat meat at any siyum. That's the minhag. To make a siyum each day of the nine days all the way through Tu B'Av even on Tisha B'av and to not eat meat, not eat at all obviously on Tisha B'av but not eat meat. What's the reason? So the Rebbe explained the reason. He said you make a siyum, you're celebrating with people you know, you invite friends and family, you're creating connection and unity and community. If you did it to eat meat then your Ahavas Yisrael was with an agenda. I have Ahavas Yisrael so I can have a steak. I have Ahavas Yisrael so I could have a meat platter. I have Ahavas Yisrael so I could have some jerky. I have Ahavas Yisrael because I have an agenda. But when you get together and make a siyum without meat then you're practicing Ahavas Yisrael with no agenda. You're showing I just want to be with others and celebrate a milestone of Torah learning and I want to share that and connect that with people I know and care with no agenda at all. And in that way the Rebbe taught us what is Ahavas Yisrael. If you always have Ahavas Yisrael because you have an agenda - I love fellow Jews who can do business deals with me. I love fellow Jews who take my kids for a sleepover or drive their carpool. I love fellow Jews who fill in the blank. You don't love fellow Jews, you love yourself and you love your agenda. But when you can love a fellow Jew with no agenda whatsoever, that's love of fellow Jew. That's love of fellow Jew, so says the Ksav HaKabala, that's Yaakov and Paro, devarim shema bakach. Sometimes you just make a connection through small talk with no agenda because that's what it means to love another person is you just have small talk, you just want to make the connection with them and that's all and that's all there is, you're just making small talk with no agenda whatsoever. I had to call JetBlue to change flights, our flight back was cancelled of course, we have our own emuna stories, embrace your place. The day was cancelled, it was switched to, they said it won't be for a few days, I said I gotta get back, I give an emuna shiur. Fine, we'll put you on tomorrow night, until tomorrow night, and then they said your plane is rerouted while we're on the runway, which means we need more gas, so we gotta go back to - we can't have too much gas because we're in Westchester which is a short runway, so we need just the right amount of gas just like the three bears, and Baruch Hashem we finally got back late last night. We got our own stories. But anyway I had the guy from JetBlue on and devarim shema bakach. Maybe there was a little agenda because when you say someone's name and you learn about them and you have small talk with them, they're more inclined to help you get back for the emuna shiur. So I said to him, so what's his name, I said by the way where are you? He said Egypt. I said that's so funny, my ancestors used to live in Egypt. He said this is true, you haven't heard the whole conversation. He said where? I said I think they were dispersed all over, a little bit in Goshen. See the pyramids? They were involved in building, in building - I didn't say that about the pyramids. But we talked all about the World Cup and how he was so excited, he was rooting for Egypt even though they were eliminated by a very pro-Israel team. Okay we don't have to get into all that. Devarim shema bakach with my friend from Egypt and Baruch Hashem we made it back late last night in time for the emuna shiur. That's the Ksav HaKabala. But I'll tell you my interpretation. Why are Paro and Yaakov talking about that? You know what Yaakov was telling Paro? This wasn't devarim shema bakach. This wasn't pedestrian casual small talk. Yaakov was telling Paro something incredibly profound and he was telling us. You know what he was telling him? You're meeting me and you think I'm the greatest believer on earth, the leader of this special people and religion, a man of faith, and you expect to meet a person whose life has been smooth sailing and I have no wrinkles and I have calm and I look youthful and I look happy and I look healthy. Let me tell you my life has had twists and turns like you can't imagine. I have suffered, I have struggled, says Yaakov. I had a twin brother, he had it in for me, I had to run for my life from him, I lived with a deceitful liar, he switched my wives, he stole my pay, I finally left and then I had this son disappear. Yaakov is telling him you think that living a life of faith is a life of bliss and smooth sailing? It's a life of this. I look old and my life has been hard and I wouldn't change anything about it because Ki Atah Imadi I've walked all through it including through the valley of the shadow of death with Hashem. All of this is expanding on what the heilige ChatGPT had to say. That it doesn't say you fly over or around or avoid the Gei Tzalmaves, the valley of the shadow of death, it's Ki Atah Imadi when you are with me then Gam Ki Elech I can walk through it. I can walk through it, I can walk through it. So then the person asked ChatGPT how it knew me so well and the response was quote 'I only know what you've shared with me and I don't remember everything perfectly, I try to use the parts you've chosen to share to make my responses more personal and more helpful.' My takeaway from this ChatGPT conversation which much longer detailed and filled with emotion, if a man-made machine can remember everything put it together give sound personal almost Torah based advice guidance then there's no question Hakadosh Baruch Hu lehavdil knows and cares about every detail of our lives and if and when we turn to Him we'll feel comforted we feel comforted. Beautiful beautiful insight and a beautiful dvar Torah. So we went I won't say where because we have to have some privacy I guess in our lives but we went some beautiful place where we can go hiking and get away and enjoy and we did and where we went hiking there were a lot of guard rails in some of these steeper places and inclines and there were people who carved things into all over them and I was obsessed with reading and looking at them I was looking for someone to quote Psalm 23. I was desperate the whole time for my Psalm 23 sighting and it didn't come. I did find in the middle of nowhere where Jews don't live within a I won't even tell you how many mile radius a very hateful message about Israel so I found someone who had a pen and corrected it and corrected it. I didn't find Psalm 23. I was a little disappointed I was looking. And then we were in the airport in this area out of nowhere and I saw a woman wearing a shirt that was a jersey Michael Jordan number 23 but instead of saying Jordan it said Psalm. It was the number 23 like a jersey but instead of Jordan it said Psalm. Psalm. Took a picture I forgot to print it out so I got my Psalm 23 sighting. Dear Rabbi Goldberg heard from both yourself and other Rebbeim that people often reach out with their problems but never update with the resolution. I thought I'd follow up with the email with the end of the story. I'd like to say end because while I see this as the end of this chapter I don't see it as the end of the bigger story truly these ordeals essential step in my journey. We broke up on Sunday. This is the person who's been emailing and I've been sharing we get to go on this journey with people thank you for including us in your life. Conversation was rough and long and emotional exactly what one would expect from two people who care deeply about each other but who should not be married. A lot was brought to light in the conversation we each said everything we'd been thinking. Conversation highlighted things for me that brought me to a place of clarity. While there was a moment of debate if this was the right idea we decided to end things like this. I say we even though he ended it because the sense of calm I feel right now. Not just the calm right now but a calm that I honestly have not felt in the entire time since we started dating. I don't know why we ever had to go out I don't know why we had to try again and I don't know why it couldn't work. But all that and all that good that did exist aside I'm so incredibly confident this is exactly what was supposed to happen. I so deeply resonate with the email of the girl you read two weeks ago we had the strength to end something that I never would have been able to. I have been finding it difficult to daven these past few days because it feels like my tefillos were ignored. At the same time I feel like a child with something taken away that wasn't good for them and the parent is acting for their benefit. It feels like a little kid getting a shot in the doctor's office. All I can see now is the hurt it's painful but the pain is minuscule compared to what it could have been. I'm sure that we could have gotten engaged while dealing with these issues but I don't think we could have gotten or stayed married. I truly think Hashem saved me from a way more painful situation. And so while I find it difficult to daven because my short-term pain feels like it's driving a deep wedge between me and the Ribbono Shel Olam I'm so confident that one day I will thank Hashem for this. In a surprising way I feel energized and excited for what comes next. The next experience the next boy the rest of my life free from the stress and anxiety this relationship caused. So while my relationship with Hashem will require some work and I'm upset that this relationship didn't work out the way I wanted I can also notice all the moments here that didn't make sense and recognize that that means He had and has full control of the situation is watching and protecting me closely. I keep coming back to that imagery of a parent. He loves me so much and while it hurts now He's not only saving me from what could have been but He's leading me toward the best life for me. I know this is not the greatest resolution it's the one filled with Siyata Dishmaya. Pushing myself to lean into it really see Hashem's hand which doesn't require so much effort because it's just obvious when I look. Thank you for the shiur. So I share these emails because it's so amazing someone going through something so painful and it's okay. We always say lean in cry yell scream even at Hashem it's okay. Don't deny the pain because it will sit there and like a soda bottle that's shaken up it will explode. Don't deny the pain acknowledge it feel it lean into it but then also but then also realize that Hashem has a plan and I love that image of the parent who punishes the child or protects the child. Child runs in the middle of the street and you have to get a little strong with that child it's only out of love for that child and a desire to and the desire to protect that child. Okay. Dear Rabbi Goldberg this isn't a request definitely not a publicity stunt fact I'm not even going to mention the name of the coffee. The only thing I'll tell you is that it's roasted in Judea and Samaria. When you see the bag you'll understand why. Like many Israelis October 7th left me asking a simple question: what do I do now? I spent months in miluim like so many reservists. Wherever we went someone would warmly hand us a little cup of Turkish coffee. I'd smile thank them take a polite sip and when nobody was looking quietly pour it out. On one of the drives home it hit me. It wasn't that Israel needed better coffee we're spoiled with great coffee. It was that where I live the closest really good cup is almost an hour away. When I got home I asked my kids what does Abba love? Without hesitation they answered Eretz Yisrael and coffee. That was enough. A few weeks later I sat down with Hillel Fuld my buddy. I shared this slightly crazy idea that had been sitting in the back of my mind. He listened for a few minutes and then said something I'll never forget: stop talking. talking about it, just go make it happen. So I did. A few weeks later we launched our first batch roasted in Yehuda ve Shomron. I honestly don't know whether it'll become a successful business, maybe it will, maybe it won't. But after October 7th, building something here felt like the right response. Yesterday I was learning with someone in my Yarchei Kallah program. In passing he mentioned that his sister had come to Israel for her 60th birthday and was flying back to Boca. I asked, \"Does she go to BRS?\" \"Yes.\" In that moment I had one of those flashes where everything made sense. Your coffee is exactly where it needs to be. Then another thought crossed my mind. People often write to you about seeing the number 23. Our first batch is individually hand-numbered. I reached into my backpack, there was only one bag left. I caught myself thinking, imagine if it's number 23. I turned it over. Number 40. I just laughed, which of course proves that bag number 23 is exactly where it's meant to be. Thank you for everything, yada yada yada yada, if all goes according to plan, the coffee should make it to Boca. Kol tuv from Dolev Binyamin. PS the coffee is בד\"ץ מחזיקי הדת בעלז. I can't wait to drink it. First of all, we shouldn't be doing anything Turkish right now, including coffee. They don't deserve it, or any of our airplanes, they don't deserve them. So thank you, and I look forward to sipping it, and I have no problem promoting it. Not because I'm an influencer, but I'm an emunah man. So you send me that coffee, I have no problem. What a beautiful response and a beautiful thing to do. Okay, I want to get back into our Gerer Rosh Yeshiva. Maybe we'll just do one or two more. Thank you for the weekly shiur. I've been listening for years and I get a lot out of it. I want to share what happened about six months ago. I was going to American Dream Mall with my kids to give the wife some time off in the afternoon. I didn't realize it was the same afternoon as Sunday when the Jets had a football game. So instead of taking me 25 minutes to get there, it took over an hour with three little kids in the back screaming. Already short on time in order to get back for Mincha. On the way there, I'd never had anyone have such a road rage at me. He got so upset at me not letting him into a lane in an area of a lot of traffic. I didn't quite realize what he wanted, and he was screaming and yelling using all sorts of fun gestures. I'd never had that happen to me in 30 years of driving, and my brother was in the car with me and my kids. What is happening here? When we finally got to the mall after a long drive I went to the bathroom and above the bathroom there was a shelf and I bumped my head really hard onto that shelf by accident. All that happened in the course of about an hour. I'm walking out of the bathroom and I'm saying to myself, Hashem loves me. He only does what's best for me. Ein od milvado, there's no one but Him. I'm going through the Chovot Halevavot points of bitachon he speaks about. I was really strengthening my emunah and bitachon and right then you know what happened? This is six months ago, he writes. I ran into you, my mentor on emunah. I never met you before but I recognized you and I was so taken aback because it was such a hug from Hashem. Just as I was trying to strengthen my emunah and bitachon after I got whacked a few different ways. I don't know if you remember meeting me in the mall for a few seconds. I do. You were with your daughter and her kids, and I was thanking you for your Torah. I was so taken aback I didn't even tell you what happened to me at that point because I was flustered. It took me a few minutes to realize and process it all. I thought it was a beautiful story and wanted to share it with you. It took me six months to send it. Life with three little kids under seven gets busy. Keep up doing the work you're doing. Look forward to seeing you again soon in good health, the American, the Heilige American Dream Mall. You never, never, never know. Okay. Someone sent me a beautiful dvar Torah, I think we've shared it, about the word Mikreh. The word Mikreh means happenstance, chance. Amalek tried to asher karcha baderech. Rashi, one of the interpretations: asher karach, asher karcha, when Amalek attacked us, asher karcha is lashon mikreh. It means they happened. They didn't just happen on us on the way. Happen means they tried to influence us to see the world as random, it's chance, it's happenstance. It just happened. It's just chance. Just randomness. And we know that the exact opposite to live with emunah and bitachon is that nothing, nothing is chance. And nothing is just pure randomness. Everything is by design and everything's for a reason. So he sent me a beautiful dvar Torah that המילה מקרה היא אותיות רק מהשם. The word Mikreh, happenstance, chance, is comprised of the letters rak me'Hashem, only from God. So the same letters can spell Mikreh, chance, happenstance, randomness, or rak me'Hashem, only from Hashem. We of course believe it spells the second, that everything is only and directly from Hashem, which brings us back to Rav Shaul Alter. Beautiful dvar Torah. We're on page 74, in the way it's numbered here, up to the Maharsha on the bottom of the page. The Maharsha on the Gemara Bava Batra meivi mashal. The Maharsha, Rav Shmuel Eidels. Maharsha stands for Rav Shmuel Eidels. He's a commentary in the back of the Gemara. Eidels, here's a little footnote for you, Eidels was his wife's maiden name. One of the examples in the Gemara, not in the Gemara, commentary on the Gemara, of a man who took on his wife's maiden name, which even though it's not generally the practice, but historically it happened sometimes, including Rav Shmuel Eidels. Including your grandfather, Hamarsha, Rav Shmuel Idels, meivi mashal, quotes a metaphor, על איש אחד אוהב כסף ביותר, there was once a man, there was once a person who loved money, who craved money. שביקש מהשם שבכל מה שיגע בידו יעשה זהב. So he said, Hashem, I love money so much. I love the feel, I love to hold it, I love to have it, I love to be worth it. I love money. So make, transform everything I have, turn it into gold. Turn everything I have into gold. הקדוש ברוך הוא מילא שאלתו. So Hashem fulfilled the request of this man. הנה כשבא לאכול לחם נגע בו בידו ונעשה זהב. So what happened? The man came to have lunch, he made a sandwich. And all of a sudden as he's about to take a bite out of his sourdough avocado egg toast, sourdough, delicious sandwich, what happened? Hashem fulfilled his request and the sourdough turned to gold. He almost broke his teeth. ולא היה לו מה לאכול. He had nothing to eat. Kesheba lishtot mayim, he said, finally, let me take a sip. I have my delicious coffee from Yehuda ve'Shomron, my new Judean Samaria Badatz Belz coffee. And he goes to take a sip, כשבא לשתות הקנקן והמים נעשו זהב. All of a sudden the mug, it says on it, caffeinate with kavana, but the coffee turned into gold. So what happened? He can't drink, he can't eat, and he lies down on his bed. Instead of a soft mattress, it's gold. הנמשל הוא שיש לדעת ולזכור שכסף וזהב הם אמצעי ולא מטרה. Says the Maharsha, where did this individual go wrong? They got confused, they forgot, that gold and silver, money is a means and not an ends. Money is a means, it's a resource. It enables, it empowers. It's not an ends, it's not what we daven for. We shouldn't daven for money. Don't ever daven for money. Don't ever daven for wealth. What we daven for is the ability to give tzedakah, the ability to be healthy, to have the resources to pursue and fulfill our mission, the ability to be generous, the ability to make simchas and invite as many as we want, the ability to take care of others, the ability, memila, then, in order to do all those things which are virtuous and noble, you need money. So we're not davening for money because money is the ends. It's not that we crave or want or daven for money because money is the goal. Money is the means. And if I don't have the money as the means, I can't do what is the goal. What is the goal? I want to sit and learn. I can't sit and learn, I don't have the mental space. I can't go to shiur if I need to work 17 different jobs. And even when I'm off, all I can think about are the bills and what I don't have. It's not that I want money because I value money, love money, pursue money. It's that here are a list of other very, very big goals and therefore, Hashem, I can't fulfill them without it. אדם צריך להחיות ולנשום צריך לאכול ולשתות כדי להתקיים. Hashem, I want to live. I want to be healthy. I want to be well. I want to be able to do your work. And in order to do that, I need not only money, to do it as an observant Jew, you need wealth. You need wealth. זה מה שאדם צריך כסף וזהב הם רק אמצעי כדי להשיג הדברים הנצרכים. So that's what I need and want. You know what I need and want? Healthy, well, peace, harmony, feel your presence, ki ata imadi, that's what I daven for. Memila, I need in order to achieve those things, I need some resources, I need an expense account, I need some money in the bank. אי אפשר לאכול אותם ואי אפשר לשתות אותם. אלא שאנו כל כך מתלהבים אחרי האמצעי. We sometimes are so confused and we're so distracted that we end up running after the means, confusing it with the ends. כי העולם הזה מטעה אותנו להימשך ולרדוף אחרי האמצעי. This whole world confuses us and it complicates us and it distracts us and it makes us, it makes us exchange the means and the ends. אבל האדם שניתן לו דעה ושכל להתבונן. But a person who is given a mind and a heart, a person who has a logic to be able to contemplate, אם כבר יהיה לך כסף וזהב מה תעשה איתו. Just think about it. You ever do it? I've spoken and written about it, you've heard me say it at this shiur many times. Occasionally, occasionally, it's been a while, I buy a lottery ticket. Why? For some reason, it's only like when it's 500 million, a billion, as if 10 million is not good enough for me. That's not worth my two dollars. Only when it's some outrageous number. I almost bought one actually where we were. Because the lottery winners are never in some classic big name city. It's always the gas station of some no-name, so I thought that's the perfect place, pull over and buy one now. I didn't. Why do I buy the lottery ticket? Because you gotta be in it to win it. You can't win if you didn't buy the ticket. Right? Nobody's knocking on your door to announce that you've won the lottery when you didn't buy a ticket. You got to buy a ticket. What does the ticket do? It's a small price to pay. You spend the money and you get to dream. You get to dream. I never bought the ticket because I thought I’d win. I don’t expect to win. If you study the odds, the likelihood is you’re not gonna win. And by the way, if you buy two tickets you didn’t double your chances of winning; you did technically, but you doubled zero so you still have next to zero chance of winning and therefore it’s a waste of money. So you should never ever buy more than one ticket. If Hashem wants you to win, you’ll win with one ticket. Never buy more than one, but you need one ticket in order to win. So it’s worth the two dollars not because you think you’re gonna win, it’s worth the two dollars because two dollars is a very small price to pay to get to sit and talk to someone you love and say what would we do with it? How would our life change? How would our life change? And I find that to be an incredibly useful exercise. It holds a mirror up to ourselves to ask yourself: if you won the lottery, how would your life change? If the first thing your answer, if the first thing you say, if the first thing you do would be I’d quit my job, then in fact it is a job not a calling. I can tell you right now, I’ll tell you right now: if I won the lottery, I would not quit my job. I’d be so excited to do more of my job, better of my job, hire more of a team and impact the world even more, do more. Because I love what I do and it’s not a job, it’s a mission, it’s a calling and I would want to accomplish even more. So that’s one question to ask yourself: where would you live? What would you do? What would be the first thing you spend on? Bigger house, a nicer car, or would you buy gifts for everyone you know? Would you give away so much of it? Would you help finish our campus and underwrite our Yeshiva and allow us to start new institutions and make a bigger difference and our presence in Israel and do so much more? So that’s the dollar and the dream, the two dollars and the dream. The reason to spend the money is for the dream part. Now you’ll say, but I don’t have to do that. And you do. Because if you go to lunch with someone you love today and you say let’s dream, let’s dream that we won a hundred million dollars, what would you do with it? You’re not really dreaming if you didn’t spend the money. If you have a ticket in your hand and you put it on the table and you’re looking at it while you’re having this conversation, then at least that little piece of you says there’s a chance. It’s point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero one percent, but there is a chance and that little chance gives you the chance to dream. Gives you the license to dream. And that dream differentiates between what are the means and what are the ends of your life. If you won that lottery, if you had that money, the money is not the ends, you can’t take any of it with you. You’ll never see a hearse with a U-Haul attached behind it. You can’t ever take any of it with you. We all go to the same place and we all go the same way and we all go in the same tachrichim and the tachrichim, the burial shrouds, do not come with pockets. There are no pockets. You can’t take any of it with you. The only thing we take is the good that we did with it in this world. כי לא במותו יקח הכל כי ירד אחריו כבודו. כי לא במותו יקח הכל I’ve told you this also many times. כי לא במותו יקח הכל in your death you can’t take it all with you. The Malbim wonders: what do you mean you can’t take it all? You can’t take any! So why does the Pasuk say a beautiful song, you know this song? כי לא במותו יקח הכל. It’s the three weeks, I can’t sing it for you because it’s almost music when I sing. כי לא במותו יקח הכל. I probably can sing for you, it’s exactly appropriate for the three weeks. כי לא במותו יקח הכל. So the Malbim wonders on this beautiful Pasuk and beautiful song, Ki lo bemoto. In your death you can’t take it all. What can you take? Says the Malbim, you can’t take it all, you can’t take money and goods and things. You know what you can take? You can’t take what you hold on to, you can only take what you gave away. It’s the opposite and inverse of what many people think. They hold on with a tight fist. They hold on so tight. I want it, I need it, I’m holding on to it, I refuse to be generous or share it, I’m holding on to it. But what you hold on to you can’t take with you. The only thing, paradoxically, you can take is what you gave away. Because when you leave this world, what you gave away you say I gave that mishloach, I gave to that campaign, I gave to that campus, I gave to that holy endeavor, that institution, I gave to those soldiers, I gave to that cause, I gave. And everything you gave you can take, but everything you hold on to doesn’t go with you. כי לא במותו יקח הכל, you can’t take it all, all you could take is what you gave away. So that ticket, again I don’t get a commission from the lottery, I’m not encouraging you to go buy, but I am telling you that the exercise whether with the ticket or without it, with someone you love, go do it today is to sit and stop and ask yourself what would you do with it? What’s the means and what’s the ends in your life? What are the means and what are the ends? The clothing Everything in your life. AI, is AI a means or is it an ends? Ask it. The author of the email who might be present can ask AI later today, are you a means or are you an ends? What are you for me, since you know me a little bit and care about me. Are you a means or are you an ends? Which are you? That’s what the, that's what it's asking us. וכשיבוא לך הכסף הזה מה תעשה איתו? If you have the money, what would you do with it? It's not me, it's the Gerer Rebbe asking. זו עבודה של יהודי בהיותו בהאי עלמא. That is our purpose in this world. lizkor ani ger to remember, I'm just visiting. אמנם אני נמצא כאן להרבה שנים but I'm here for a long stay, hopefully. I'm just coming through, I'm just visiting, but hopefully I'm here for a long stay. אבל אני זוכר איפה הרגליים שלי ואיפה אני שייך but I know where is my home. We were just on a trip. It wasn't a long or a long enough stay, but it was a trip. While we were away and while we were staying where we were, we never forgot our home address. We always knew where we really lived even while we were there. זה המלווה התמידי המלווה אותנו בכל מעשינו ביום יום. This is what should escort us through our lives each and every day. What escorts us is that question that hangs over us. What is the means and what is the ends? What is the mission and what is the purpose? Why are we here? What are we going to give away and what are we going to hold on to? What will we take with us and what are we going to in the end, ultimately leave behind? יש ללמוד ולחזור על דברי השפת אמת. We have to learn and review the holy words of the Heilige Gerer Rebbe the Sfas Emes. זה שטיקל שכדאי מאוד ללמוד אותו ולהתבונן ולהבין אותו. It is worthwhile to review and to really understand. במבט שטחי אפשר ללמוד את דבריו הקדושים ולהבינם רק במידה מצומצמת בנוגע לפרנסה שרק בזה ריבונו של עולם מסייע בעדו ואפשר להרחיב את זה לראות עוד יותר ויותר כמה זה נוגע לכל הליכות החיים שריבונו של עולם עושה את הכל וזה העבודה של יהודי. So that Sfas Emes that we learned that he quoted from his great zaidy which is that the interpretation of Kapittel Chof Gimmel, that's why we're learning this because we are on the tail end of our obsession with Kapittel Chof Gimmel, Psalm 23, was that notion that we think that whatever we earn is the result of our hard work. It's the return on the investment, the time, the entrepreneurship, the creativity, but no. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the one, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the one who is providing it. Right? That mivtacho. He is the one who is providing it. He lets us live the illusion that it's coming through us, but that's all part of the illusion, but it's really through him. We're making the effort because that's what's necessary to turn the key to get it, but really it's all coming through him. Let's just do a little bit more. He has some questions and answers here that happened with the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva with Rav Shaul Alter and here it's quoted. רבינו שליט\"א הזכיר בתוך דבריו מזל. So the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva used the word mazal. mazal, the good fortune, the mazal, luck, the good fortune, mazal, shezeh lo mazal. Now what happens in our lives that ein mazal l'Yisrael. Other people have fortune and other people live with luck, but Yidden, Jews, we don't live with luck and we don't live with fortune. We live with Hashem. But the Gemara says in Berachos Daf Zayin mishe'ah meshachekes lo but we do have a notion that there are certain times that are auspicious or inauspicious for us. So how do you reconcile those two things? So says the Gerer Rosh Yeshiva הרי גמרא קוראת לזה ששחקת זה חלק מהמשחק של הנהגת העולם המתגלה לנו שזה כבר הנהגה שהקדוש ברוך הוא בדרך הסתר כי זה לא ממש בגילוי שכל מה שיבטח בהשם יקבל כל צרכו לו כי אם כן לא היה בחירה. Part of the way Hashem remains hidden in this world is not revealing some direct or explicit or easily seen correlation between our actions, our efforts, and the outcome. If it were so simple that you say Tehillim and you demonstrate and express emunah bitachon in Hashem, you get what you want, there'd be no kunst to that. Then it wouldn't really be about your emunah bitachon. If you automatically always got what you were asking for just by having the emunah bitachon, who wouldn't have it? So therefore it needs to be sometimes hidden and you need to struggle to see how the dots connect and you need to sometimes take that leap of faith to believe that the outcome is because of your connection with him, even when it's hard to see or know. כי זה לא ממש בגילוי שכל מה שיבטח בהשם יקבל כל צרכו כי אם כן לא היה בחירה. You wouldn't have free will. v'yesh hamon cheshbonos. There are many calculations. ואנו לא יכולים להשיג בראשנו אין אנו יכולים להקיף את כל המרכבה של העולם והנשמות והגלגולים מה צריך להיות ואנחנו יודעים שאנחנו חלק מתוך נס גדולה של ריבונו של עולם. We are just a small component. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is dealing with a matrix of billions of people on a planet at once. You talk about moving... For him it's all nothing, of course, because he's infinite, omnipotent. But you think we're capable of understanding it? I forgot who was the great gadol, who someone came to him demanding to understand how Hashem runs the world. Was it Rav Chaim Brisker? Came to him, he said, I don't understand, this is happening to me in my life. Why? Why? I'm entitled to know, why is Hashem making this happen, why is Hashem running the world in this way? I want and I demand to know. Rav Chaim said, bring me, go go get Masechet Chullin. Daf Yomi is learning now Chullin. Go get me Chullin. He went to the shelf and he brought Masechet Chullin, a tractate of the Gemara. He said, open to this daf. He opened to this daf. He said, see Tosafot. What's Tosafot saying? Read the Tosafot. What's his question? What's his answer? It's one of the medieval commentaries on the Gemara. Guy said, I don't know, I don't even know which way to hold the Gemara. I can barely make heads or tails of the Gemara, let alone Tosafot's question and its answer. I think it was Rav Chaim, maybe it wasn't, but this great rabbi turned to him and he said, you can't understand the Tosafot. You think you can understand the way the world works? You can't understand the Tosafot. You're struggling to make your way through the Tosafot. You think you can understand the ways of the world? You think you can understand the ways of the world? That's what Chazal said about Bilam. Bilam couldn't even anticipate and didn't even know what his donkey wanted. You think he's going to know the master of the universe? You don't even speak the language of the donkey. You think you're going to understand the master of the universe? So we're not entitled and we don't have access and it's a complex, complicated matrix illusion of a world and we're just one of the cogs in the wheel. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is making it all happen and he's making it happen to perfection. והדברים מתנהלים כרצונו יתברך שמו הטוב והמטיב, צריך להשתדל ללכת איתו ולהתחבר אליו, אמנם קל מאוד להגיד את זה אבל זה עבודת חיים ששומרים שנים להפנים את זה, אבל שינון וחזרה דברים עוזרים, כי על ידי שמפנימים שוב ושוב הדברים נכנסים לעומק הלב says the Gurer Rebbe, it's very hard to remember this, to think this as we're going through our daily grind and daily life. As we go to work and as we express our initiative, our effort, it's hard to not think the outcome correlates with us and to remember I have to go through it, I have to do it, but it's all from him. That's hard. That's why we have to learn it and review it and repeat it and listen on repeat over and over and think and meditate and reflect and support and encourage and enable and empower and be parts of communities who are doing this. We're close. We're almost launching Nishmasi. We're going to join little communities for emuna with daily chizuk and homework assignments in order to be able to remain part of it in different areas of life, emuna in business, emuna in shidduchim, emuna in parenting, emuna health and wellness, emuna in anxiety, emuna in all these little sub-communities in the greater community of Nishmasi, of my soul, my mission, my purpose, my fingerprint. A fingerprint is my uniqueness and the fingerprint unlocks my uniqueness and a fingerprint is my mission to leave fingerprints all over this world. We're close. That's why I keep dropping little hints, little soft launch before it comes out. Website and the communities, WhatsApp, it's almost done. It's going to come out how we can even more, not just have a shiur once a week, but be part of community and movement working on it together and growing and living with it. Like all the emails I read are extraordinary people, some of whom are navigating Geis amovess, painful moments in life. What feels while they're in it is the valley of the shadow of death. Another email I didn't read about somebody of stillbirth or miscarriage, of a broken engagement or just before about to get engaged, about loss. Jocko, Rabbi Jonathan Cohen, other young people, tragic losses. These are each Geis amovess in their own way. Everyone in their own way, whatever they're going through is a Geis amovess. We look and we see and we compare and one against the other looks like it's nothing. But each person navigating what they're going through. Their favorite dress or shoes are not on sale and therefore they can't buy them. For some people, Halevai, that day for that person it's a Geis amovess. They're walking through the valley of the shadow of death. They want it so badly and it's not on sale, they can't get it. That's a that's the valley of the shadow of death. The common denominator in all those places is Ki Ata Imadi. When you're with me, I can stand tall. And like Yaakov told Paro, life isn't easy, but I can navigate and I can take steps and I can put one foot in front of the other and I can get to the other side. And says the Gurer Rebbe, you're never done. We're never done working on this. Over and over and over, it's a lesson and a message we've got to keep on repeat, learning, listening, and working on it on repeat. So Halevai we should all get to Ki Ata Imadi as this memorandum of understanding, which was always a misunderstanding, has now fallen apart and the ceasefire, which was never a real ceasefire, looks like it's all over and we worry naturally what will be our brothers and sisters. Our brothers and sisters in Israel, some of us had plans of trips to go. How will the summer now unfold? We daven and hope that Hashem and we know, not hope, we know that Hashem has a plan and it's all part of it. And hopefully it will lead to our not starting nine days next week or not sitting on the floor on Tisha B'Av but being all together in Yerushalayim, sipping not Turkish coffee but the coffee of Yehuda and Shomron, celebrating the coming of Mashiach and im yirtzeh Hashem have a wonderful day. It should be filled with simcha.
