Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov, welcome back to Living with Emunah. So glad and grateful to have you here in our Emunah support group, learning together, living together, growing our Emunah together. Help yourself in a Rabbi Shaya's corner to some coffee, slushies, pastries and the like. Emunah Shiur generously sponsored by our dear friends Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We remain incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their generosity. It is also co-sponsored, the series, anonymously in memory of the 30 fallen souls and alumni of בני דוד מכינה ישיבה עלי. And this week we're highlighting Captain Dekel Suissa who was 23 years old, Hashem yikom damo, platoon commander in the Golani brigade. He was stationed at the IDF outpost on Simchas Torah morning, sole commander on duty. Thanks to his bravery, most of his soldiers survived. His soldiers testified, Dekel saved our life and fought to his last drop of blood. He was buried on Har Herzl October 12th. He's survived by his parents and by his three older siblings. Our learning should be le'iluy nishmaso. I would say, except his soul can't go any higher, it is already next to the Kisei HaKavod. This morning's Shiur is also sponsored by Nina and Gordon Haas on the fourth of Teves, commemorating the 30th yahrtzeit of her mother, Ida Leichtman, Chaya bas Simcha, and for the speedy, complete and painless refuah sheleima of our dear friend החבר גדליה בן רוסא, he should come home today and he should be walking and running in and out and about in no time. And we'll also throw in Rabbi Teitz's 30th yahrtzeit. Why not? We'll throw that onto the Haas' sponsorship. The great Rabbi Teitz, the Rav of Elizabeth. His 30th yahrtzeit is tonight, tomorrow, I think. 30th yahrtzeit. Neshamah sh'teheye aliyah. By Faye and Hillel Meyers in honor of Orit Zarness' birthday who lives with Emunah every day. L'avi me'abba Yair and family, Yehudah and family, Moshe and family, Dafna and family and Chaviva. And by Yvette Kablum, wishing her husband Baruch HaShem had wonderful surgery yesterday, successfully should have a speedy complete refuah sheleima, bounce back from his back surgery, should be back doing karate in no time and lots of other things too. Okay, I have so much to say. We got so much to learn, we got so much to cover. Baruch HaShem, Baruch HaShem. I don't know where to start. So let me start with, let me start with this. Even before I get into letters, I want to start with Torah. Not the sefer we're learning, we'll get into that too as well im yirtzeh HaShem. But I want to start with an insight from this parsha, maybe I said it in the past but every year when we encounter it in Vayigash, it has an enormous impression on me and I hope it will on you. It essentially is one of the letters, it's only written by Yosef HaTzadik to all of us in our parsha. Because, and I don't want to belabor it, I don't know when people are listening to this Emunah Shiur, maybe it'll be in the middle of the summer not Parshas Vayigash, but the story is just as relevant, the lesson and insight just as relevant nonetheless. Yosef, who has lived through Gehennom. Yosef, who lost his mother when he's eight years old, who's isolated and marginalized by his brothers, his half-brothers, who is - they want to kill him, instead they settle on selling him into slavery to Yishmael. He makes his way to Egypt where he's falsely accused and thrown in a pit and suffers in a dungeon, in a prison for 12 years until he finally gets out. And Yosef who 22 years alienated from his father who loves him with all of his dreams and all of his aspirations and all of his big ideas. The opposite is happening to him. And does Yosef become bitter and resentful? Does Yosef become pessimistic and negative? Does Yosef ever for one moment say woe is me and why me and where is Hashem and how could this happen, what the world owes me? Yosef doesn't suffer with martyrdom, Yosef doesn't suffer passively with victimhood. Yosef sitting in prison sees two people suffering, it says מדוע פניכם רעים היום. Nu, why so sad? Why do you look so down-trodden? What can I do? How can I lift your spirits? That's Yosef. If anyone was ever entitled to retreat to the corner of his prison cell and keep only to himself it was Yosef, instead he sees others who are sad and he says how can I make you happy? And then we have this week's parsha. The big reveal. The big reveal. Yosef can't take it anymore, lo yachol l'hitapek, can't take it anymore. And so he has to reveal himself. He clears the room. He announces הוציאו כל איש מעלי to his staff and they all leave. They give him the room, they give him the room. And he says אני יוסף העוד אבי חי. I am Yosef. Is my father still alive? Why does he say my father and not our father and he knows he's alive because Yehudah just said you're going to kill our father? That we spoke about yesterday in the parsha class. But I want to tell you what Yosef says next. Because what Yosef - I think, I hope I wouldn't but I think I probably would say next is, yeah I'm Yosef. Remember me? Remember what you tried to do to me? Remember how you treated me? Tell me again, you're hungry? You want some food? You need me now? Look how things turn out. Yosef instead says extraordinary words. Yosef says extraordinary things to them. Yosef turns and he says, Al te'atzvu. Al yichar b'eineichem. Don't be distressed and don't reproach yourselves, don't beat yourselves up and don't be sad. Why not? Why not? Because Yosef says, אני יוסף אחיכם אשר מכרתם אותי מצרימה. I'm Yosef, asher mechertem. Sfat Emet points out that asher mechertem is reminiscent of the language asher shibartem. When Moshe breaks the Luchot, Hashem turns to him and he says, Yashar koach she'shibarta. Good job, job well done, that was the correct action. Good for you, says the Sfat Emet, that word asher, asher shibarta, asher mechertem. What Yosef was saying to them was Yashar koach. Thank you for selling me into slavery. This was all part of Hashem's plan. This was part of the divine plan. Thank you. Don't worry, I'm not going to take revenge, I'm not going to beat you up, I'm not going to be resentful, I'm not going to hold it against you. I found in my heart the capacity to forgive. You need to still ask for forgiveness. What you did was wrong and you need to earn it and ask for it, but know that I'm ready to forgive. I'm prepared to forgive. And what gave him the strength and the capacity to forgive? This is Yosef's email to me and to us. Dear Emunah Shiur, I my brothers you won't believe what they put me through. Dear Emunah Shiur, first of all, Rabbi Goldberg, you're so great, yada yada yada. For sure, Yosef wrote that. Now he's he's a tzaddik. He's a tzaddik. He would want me to feel good. But then he'd write yada yada yada because he'd know that I would feel awkward and I wouldn't want to read it. So that's what Yosef would write. So dear Rabbi Goldberg and the Emunah Shiur, first of all, where can I get the swag? Second of all, you're great, yada yada. And third of all, know that it was really hard for me. I lost my mother at eight. They mistreated me from the beginning. They sold me into slavery. I've been I languished in a prison. But I want you to know what got me through at all times was I embraced my place. I knew I was where I was meant to be. What got me through it was understanding asher mechertem. I don't want to take revenge. I don't want to get even and I never got angry because all along I knew this is where Hashem wanted me. After all, I had dreams. And in my dreams, they would be coming, they would be bowing down. In my dreams, I would be on top of the world. Not out of ego but out of elokut. In my dreams, I would be the one who would save an economy. I would be the one making a Kiddush Hashem, שם שמים שגור בפי. I knew it Rabbi Goldberg, Emunah Shiur. And that's what got me through it. That's what enabled me and supported me. That's what allowed me to get through it. Yosef in that moment made a choice. He could focus on their actions. He could be deeply hurt. He could be injured and wounded. He could be a victim and a martyr. He could want revenge and get even. But instead he does what's called in cognitive therapy reframing. Cognitive therapy has a concept called reframing. And what reframing means is just like we can have a painting or picture and we change the frame it looks different. That picture which was worn or tired or old or we didn't like, all of a sudden it's in a new frame and I see it totally different. And now I love it. Now I want to hang it on my wall even though the picture is exactly the same but the frame changes everything about it. So too our life and our events and our experiences can look exactly the same but what's the frame that we put around it? What frame do we put around it? Rabbi Lord Sacks points out that while Yosef may have been the first to employ the reframing technique, it's what enabled and empowered us to navigate nearly every impossible circumstance since then. And he writes the following. Viktor Frankl showed us another way and he did so under some of the worst conditions ever endured by human beings. In Auschwitz as a prisoner there, Frankl discovered the Nazis took away almost everything that made people human: their possessions, their clothing, their hair, their very names. Before being sent to Auschwitz, Frankl had been a therapist specializing in curing people who had suicidal tendencies. In the camp, he devoted himself as far as he could to giving his fellow prisoners the will to live, knowing if they lost it they would soon die. Frankl writes that he was able to survive Auschwitz by daily seeing himself as if he were in a university giving a lecture on the psychology of the concentration camp. Everything that was happening to him was transformed by this one act of the mind into a series of illustrations of the points he was making in the lecture. Auschwitz for him became a university, a lecture hall. He was teaching everything he had been learning and practicing before the war, all that therapy. He reframed where he was and the experience he was going through. And that's what Yosef is trying to get his brothers to see about their situation. He says, I know you see the same picture I see. You're the ones who did it. You drew this picture. But I want you to share the frame I put around it. And when you see the frame I put around it, you'll understand I can live and function with no anger and no outrage and no thirst for revenge. Reframing the picture enabled him to forgive his brothers, so writes Rabbi Sacks. the frame transformed negative feelings about the past into a focused mission about the future. And that's every email I get. That's what we're all working on. What gives us the strength and the energy and the capacity to reframe? I shared this in an article two years ago because there was an extraordinary woman if you remember, Iris, who welcomed the soldiers who had killed, do you remember? She wrote this letter. I'm Yotam's mother, I want to tell you I love you very much to the soldiers who mistook these hostages for enemies and shot and killed them. She reframed her whole story and invited those soldiers to comfort and strengthen them. A modern day Yosef. We have that capacity. She wrote in this letter to them, how hard is it and how sad is it? It was apparently the right thing in that moment. What you did was the right thing, in that, she put a new frame around what they had done, enabled them to be able to move on. Reframing, like Yosef HaTzaddik, we have that capacity to reframe our experiences. Yosef did it and taught us and ingrained it in us and we all can too, to reframe and to see it differently and to understand it and to try to make sense of it. We had two nights ago one of the greatest nights, historic nights at Boca Raton Synagogue, Bar Kuperstein was here who spent 738 days held hostage by Hamas, tortured in ways we hadn't even fully known. He mentioned in passing, oh yeah, then they came in my cell and they broke my leg, like it was just a passing thing he mentioned. You know, and they starved us, we had half a pita, when they finally fed us, they gave us a piece of cheese it was covered in worms. How they denied, how they deprived, no bathroom. His presentation though with a smile, with energy, he took us through a PowerPoint where we watched with him the video of his being taken captive, pictures of him in captivity, but he told extraordinary stories of emunah, he reframed his life there and how grateful he was to Hashem. First of all, he talked about, and I'll put the video in, bli neder, in our emunah chat, if you're not in the WhatsApp group where we put some bonus content and announce the schedule of the shiurim, make sure you join. But he talked about how when he got out a short time later someone broke into his car, the car window was broken, they stole his phone, in the past he would have been bent out of shape, terribly upset, instead he stood there and he laughed and he said, thank you Hashem. These are his words, thank you Hashem, at least I'm not in a tunnel underground being deprived food. This is my issue, I'll report it to the police, no problem. He got his phone back and they found who did it to the car, I asked him afterwards. But he was able to reframe, this is no big deal compared to what could be, and he said he lives his life that way now. Anything less than held hostage, broken your leg, cheese with worms, he can deal with, he can take, because he's reframed his life with a sense of thank you Hashem. He discovered a radio in the tunnel and he tuned it in and he picked up an Israeli news station. Of course he didn't tell Hamas. And davka the day he tuned in on that radio, on that news, who were they interviewing? His mother. His shy modest mother who had never go on the news or radio was being interviewed. Why? Because it was his birthday. And he describes here he was sitting languishing in captivity 730 days, another birthday, feeling so alone, wondering if anyone out there even cares, and his mother's being interviewed on the radio and what does she say? She's inviting the whole world to Hostage Square to celebrate Bar's birthday. How, by the way, putting on his tefillin because he couldn't and he described all he wanted those 738 days desperately was to wear tefillin. All he wanted to do was put on tefillin and then he showed a picture that when he got out he went back to Nova which is where he was taken from, at the exact time that he was taken to put on those tefillin at 6:30, 6:29 at the exact time, in the exact place finally put on those tefillin he longed to put on. That he had a radio he heard his mother interviewed only that day to invite everyone to celebrate his birthday when he was feeling so alone and he put a new frame around the whole experience. What a night, what a hero, absolutely beyond extraordinary and said many other stories as well. It was amazing. Like Yosef we have that capacity. Whatever we're going through in our life, don't get angry, don't get outraged, don't be a victim and don't be a martyr, don't be pessimistic and sad and despondent, disappointed and depressed. Don't look to take it out on other people or take it out on Hashem or take it out on yourself. Reframe and understand as he did. I asked him that night Bar, he had gone back and forth ten times, he was the head of security at the Nova event and even though he could have run away and escaped he was on his way, he went back and he saved countless people ten times. When he went back that tenth time is when he was taken by Hamas. So I asked him those 738 days, did you sit there saying to yourself, why did I go back? I regret. going back, what did that do to my parents that I was taken into captivity? How did I suffer so? And he said, I would do the same thing again. Given the opportunity, I would do the exact same thing again. Person who could look and live his life and reframe it, how? By embracing, I was where I was meant to be. He essentially used that language: I was where I was meant to be, that's where Hashem put me. He said they were six people in a tiny area with no access to food or a bathroom and they fought a lot, which I really loved that he gave us the honest true description of how it was. There was no, like, after-the-fact made-for-movies version. But here's what he said: we fought and it wasn't easy. He said, but somehow every Friday night we made peace, nobody fought, we made Kiddush on a cup of water with bugs in it and we sang Zmiros. Shabbos came and there was peace. What he described, it was just an extraordinary night. We have that capacity, that's what these emails are all telling us, that's that ability. And He-chaver who we just Davened for, our dear friend, fell on Shabbos coming to Shul, 17 stitches on his forehead, broken hip. Hatzalah took him to the hospital and here's our first Psalm 23 sighting. In the emergency room, which cubical do you think they put him in? Number 23. And he turned to his wife who's here, who can attest to it and he said, I am where I'm meant to be. Can you imagine? A broken hip, 17 stitches on your forehead. He's a handsome man, I hope it was a good plastic surgeon. I'm sure he's going to continue to be a handsome man. And there with a forehead split open and a hip that's fractured, he looks at the number on the room and says, oh, a hug from Hashem, a reminder, I am where I'm meant to be. I wish I weren't, could have been done differently, but if I'm here. So there are people in our own community, in our own Shiur, in our own lives, like Yosef, put a different frame around it, put a different frame around it and a different perspective. I saw him yesterday. Instead of bitterness or anger or why me or the Shul or this or that, it's the way it was meant to be, it's no problem, I'm going to bounce back, that's what Hashem had planned. I have a bigger and better hip than I've ever had, he's going to be dunking a basketball before you know it. It's going to be unbelievable. It's going to be unbelievable. Someone shared with me, this was online, Boro Park Matzah bakery, the owner Reb Chaim Brown. There was a five alarm fire at his Matzah bakery, and you say Matzah, it was just Chanukah. I'll tell you a little secret about the Matzah you're going to eat next Pesach: it's already been made. So the Boro Park Matzah bakery, five alarm fire, burnt it down. What did the owner Reb Chaim Brown hang outside the Matzah bakery? A huge sign that says Ein Od Milvado. That's the reframing of it, Ein Od Milvado. He hung a huge banner outside, Ein Od Milvado. Not woe is me and why me and my Parnassah and my Matzah bakery and my Matzah factory and what will I do this year, but Ein Od Milvado. On the exterior wall of the building, a striking expression of faith, strength, and resilience following the devastating blaze. Absolutely amazing, incredible, extraordinary. Why do we share all of this? First of all, we already did some learning. Again we're going to read some emails, but just so I feel better, I know you don't care, but that Yosef reframing, Viktor Frankl, Rabbi Sacks, a whole new perspective. It's more, I'll tell you the end of it. Again, I wrote this all up in an article, I'll post it also Bli Neder, you'll remind me. But in his Tanya, we learn Tanya Wednesday mornings before this Shiur, the Alter Rebbe emphasizes that if we change the way we think, we'll change the way we feel. If we change how we feel, we'll transform how we behave. So if we're willing to reframe, this is exactly the therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy is cognitive, behavior. Change the way you think, you change the way you feel, that'll change the way you behave. So if you go in complaining and negative and critical and woe is me and I'm a victim and the world's out to get me and where's God and the people and everybody, and that's it, then you'll be a miserable, negative, nobody want to be near you. And if you live life like Yosef HaTzadik in prison, מדוע פניכם רעים היום, hey brothers, what's going on, why are you so sad, what can I do for you? And then he sees his actual biological brothers and he says, whoa, relax, al te'atzevu, don't worry, don't be sad. This was Hashem's plan. Then you'll be able to be like Gordon, then you'll be able to lie in bed after hip surgery and say, I was where I was meant to be. This was Hashem's plan. Then you'll be like Bar Kupferstein, who's singing and jumping, you've got to see this video, singing into the mic, od yoter tov, od yoter tov, od yoter tov. Unbelievable people, unbelievable. His father, who was injured in a motorcycle for United Hatzalah answering a call years ago, was paralyzed but committed that if Bar would get out, he would learn to get up out of the wheelchair to greet him and give him a hug. And you must have seen that video. That embrace, unbelievable. Bar said it was the greatest moment of his life to see his father stand up again. So all reframed, how did his father stand up again? Because that was his promise when his son was taken. Reframe, all reframed, all reframed. Yosef HaTzadik, all from Yosef HaTzadik. Yosef HaTzadik. Says the Alter Rebbe, טראכט גוט וועט זיין גוט. If you change the way you think, you'll change the way you feel, you'll change the way you behave. So whatever you're going through, and now I could read you the emails, because that is all the background of these emails. That is the background of these emails. Dear Rabbi, your story this past week about the experience really resonated with me, especially the three-hour wait for your luggage. It seemed like this is a running theme with Newark Airport. Let me jump into my story. I had a flight to Tel Aviv from Newark that was supposed to leave 11:35 Motzei Shabbos. It got delayed to 12:15, then 2 AM, then 6 AM, then 6:30 AM, 7 AM, 8 AM, and at 5:45, they put us on a new security line where we waited an hour even though we didn't leave the gate. They informed us the flight was canceled. Throughout this whole ordeal, I was calm and I was truly embracing my place in the United terminal. I know that if this would have ever happened in the past before listening to the shiur, I may have had a very different reaction. But I was able to stay calm throughout. When they told us our flight was canceled, there was a couple nearby with young children that I didn't know. They got on a different flight at 1:15 with El Al, and they treated me like family, pushing for me to get on the new flight with them, Mi K'amcha Yisrael. Three hours is a very long time to wait for your luggage, as you shared. Since I was flying a different airline, I had to reclaim my luggage. They told me it could take one to five hours. That felt like a really, really long time. Could have caused me to miss my new flight. I felt like Hashem was truly testing my emunah. But I'm so grateful you shared your three-hour experience because it helped me get through mine. After waiting for two hours more, we received our luggage, started the whole process again, including delays on the AirTrain that got stuck. As I learned, I embraced my place. As you mentioned in the email, it's not to boast, rather to show the growth due to the shiurim and I feel the same way. I'm happy to be writing finally on my El Al flight to Israel. This could have been something that in the past would have made me feel angry, annoyed, upset, that I've completely no control over. But this shiur taught me that every challenge is an opportunity to grow in my emunah. I felt like I got a huge hug from Hashem when my father called me right before I took off and told me United refunded the full flight, giving me credit to fly to Israel with them again, plus extra money. No one else received this refund, and it seems like Hashem was telling me how proud he was of me, how I handled the situation. Thank you for helping me grow in the emunah. Where can I order the decals and the luggage tags? Okay, so she's not showing off, I wasn't showing off. Why do we read, why do we share, why is this part of the emunah? Because it gives us all the strength. She reframed, after what sounded like a long and difficult... not a victim, not a martyr, not woe is me and why me, but why am I here? What am I meant to learn from it? What am I meant to do with it? Where do I go with it? This is all from... it's all from Hashem. Rabbi Boruch, one more. Thank you and your family in the z'chus to be in Israel last week. As part of my preparations, along with the packing, checking the flights, packing entertainment for the young kids, I made sure to listen to the shiur before we left. I'm naturally quite an anxious person, especially when it comes to flights and getting places on time. I knew I'd need to have the Living with Emunah voice in my head. When we landed, we headed straight to the rental car place. Kids were tired, hungry, ready for their bed. We saw a long queue. Let me translate. That's a line. We prepared ourselves to be there for a while. We waited and waited and waited. Ordinarily, I would have been very stressed. Why are they not giving us a car? We had a booking. We're waiting with young kids. The kids are not going to manage here for much longer. Instead, thanks to the shiur, I was uncharacteristically calm. I sat on the floor in Ben Gurion played with my kids and handed out snacks to the kids of other families who were also waiting. After two hours of queuing, waiting, the car rental place informed everyone they had no cars and we could all leave or wait another few hours. Very annoying and frustrating situation, but because I kept replaying in my head 'you are where you're meant to be', everyone was absolutely fine. Kids were happy, we were able to move on without getting frustrated. A small issue, but it had a big impact. Thank you for everything. Reframing. It's all reframing. It's all embracing our place. We are where we're meant to be. You never provided more cars because you got anxious. Getting angry, getting anxious, feeling like a victim and a martyr, being resentful and bitter, just ruins your vacation. Just spoils the time with your children on line. Doesn't make any of the cars appear, doesn't make any reservation come up. We had more Psalm 23 sightings. A freilichen Chanukah. Have I got a Psalm 23 story for you? A few weeks ago, I took a spill, ended up in the hospital with a broken femur. That's the theme. Second day of my hospitalization coincided with my Gregorian birthday. And in true 'Toto, we're not in Kansas' or 'in New York' style, the hospital staff working on my floor paid me a morning visit and regaled me with happy birthday wishes and songs. An hour or so later, a member of the clergy who was obviously not Jewish stopped by to wish me happy birthday and presented me with a small teddy bear holding a happy birthday balloon. He then proceeded to ask me which faith I was, and I responded, 'I'm Jewish'. He asked me if I say Psalms. I told him I do, every day. And he said he hopes that God will help me with a quick recovery. I told him... And I told him I would do it later. He took out his well-worn psalms and asked if he could recite his favorite psalm to me. I said yes. And I'll give you one guess as to which kapittel it was. Psalm 23 is my favorite as well. I thanked him for the prayer we parted ways. He departed, I remained lying, albeit not in green pastures but rather in my hospital bed. Over the past few weeks, as I was recuperating at home with a rod and staff, I had plenty of time to reflect on the bond I'm fortunate to have with Hashem. How exercising my emuna muscle helps strengthen my relationship with Him and the goodness and mercy of Hashem shall follow me all the way to New York next week, where I plan to be dancing at my grandson's wedding. My cup truly runneth over. I love that. She wove all of Kapittel Chaf Gimmel into the... That was really well done. Very well done. Beautifully well done. So, another Psalm 23 sighting. Okay, let's do one or two more and then get to our text. I've been listening to Emuna Shiur for almost a year and it gives me chizuk I need during difficult times. For the past few months, I've been back and forth to a fertility clinic, hoping to finally build our family. Today was the end of my first cycle on medication, after months of being pushed off because of holidays and travel. I was hoping for positive test results and as I finally drove back, put on the Emuna Shiur from last week. I didn't finish it by the time I got home. A few hours later, I got back the results that I am not pregnant. I was extremely disappointed, was questioning everything. Why not? Why was this month not the month? Did I do something wrong? What if it won't work next month? I was so upset at the idea of starting over. Throughout the day, I went through moments of clarity where I felt grateful and thanking Hashem it wasn't this month, and moments where I was disappointed at the thought of starting the long and draining process over. As I started prepping dinner, I put on the rest of the shiur. At the end, the closing statement you shared was not to give up hope and the next test could be positive, not to give up. I felt that it wasn't by chance I heard that message when I needed it most. I'm going to work on embracing my place, knowing Hashem knows exactly when the right time for that positive test result will come. Thank you for the chizuk, I hope to share good news soon. Im yirtzeh Hashem, may she and all share only simchas b'sha'ah tovah of good news over and over. We all desperately need it, we all desperately need it. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I've been dreaming about writing this email for the longest time and so grateful to Hashem for bringing this moment where I can share my Chanukah nes. Last year on Chanukah, I was so excited to find out I was expecting. It had taken some time and I was so grateful for giving me a Chanukah nes, a miracle. But as we know, a nes can stand for nisayon, a test, and that is what that nes ended up being. The pregnancy ended up in a loss and I was beyond devastated, so angry at Hashem. And she wrote me an email last year at the time. I saw Him in my loss and there was a lot of amazing ways where I saw His hand, but I felt like I didn't want to see His hand in the loss as it felt like a smack as opposed to a hug. I was telling this to my friend and she recommended your podcast. I became a big fan. It was a really trying and difficult nisayon and the podcast really helped me learn to embrace my place, or at least try to. When I found out I was pregnant, I was naturally both excited and anxious. I would tell people your podcast was my oxygen to get me through the anxiety by showing me to embrace my place. I'm so grateful to Hashem for bringing me full circle and returning my Chanukah nes to me by giving me a healthy baby boy on the fifth night of Chanukah. And yes, I listened to this week's podcast during labor. It's a segulah for an easy labor. It's funny people want to hear me while they're on labor because Yocheved told me, 'Just stop talking, just stop talking.' I know it doesn't always work out that way, but I'm so grateful to Hashem for bringing this nes full circle. Thanks for the chizuk, it helps me and my family. Those are beautiful, beautiful. Everyone who sends the email that they have to embrace their place in sadness, everyone should be zocheh to be able to send the email they're embracing their place in joy too. There are more I want to read and I'm saving these for next week because they're worth reading, they're all worth reading. I'm grateful to them all. Please send and write them all. They're all good for you and for me, so please continue to send. We're on page Kuf Chaf Ches, 128 in Shaarei Tefillah of Rav Dov Abuhatzeira. And we've been learning about the idea that's counterintuitive about davening for emuna. Even though we think that emuna is something that you have, what's the point of davening if you don't have faith? But we've been learning about the importance of praying for faith, even when you're struggling, even when you're buffering, even when you feel you don't have high speed, to daven for faith in our lives. So we last left off, we last left off with a little sweet summary of what bitachon and emuna are, what it's not. Is it a commandment? Is it a prerequisite? You're not commanded to... It’s not that Hashem will do everything the way I want. It’s not that Hashem will conform to me. It’s rather that I work and I surrender to Him and I’m in His world. Uvevadai, see where we are, the bottom of the right-hand column. ובודאי שמשפיע אמונה על תפילתו של אדם. Emunah has an impact on prayer. שכן מכוין את לבו לבורא יתברך ובוטח בו בלב שלם שמאתו ומשלו הכל בידו אשר בידו נפש כל חי להיטיב ולהעניק לכל צורכיו. If you’re not, I want to say this backwards. There are all kinds of incredible projects, campaigns to work on better concentration in prayer. All kinds of davening campaigns. Stop the talking, start the kavanah, bookmarks, handouts, all kinds of campaigns. They’re wonderful. There happens to be one in our community, I’m speaking in one of the schools for parents, there’s one that’s happening, they’re beautiful, they’re wonderful, there’s no criticism of them, they’re fantastic. But here’s the thing, here’s the thing. Yes, if you don’t know what you’re saying it’s going to be hard to connect to the words. For people who don’t understand what the words mean and they’re davening in a foreign language. Like imagine someone gave me phonetically how to pronounce Japanese and I said it, obviously I wouldn’t feel connected to it. So for so many people who don’t know what the words mean and what the themes are and why and what and what we’re saying, of course it’s going to be hard to connect. And absolutely that’s where the campaigns come in. But here’s the thing. If you don’t have a relationship with the Shepherd, if you don’t know Him, if you don’t feel His presence in your life, if you don’t hear Him talking to you, if you don’t feel His hands on your shoulder, if you don’t feel the hug and the wink from Him, then of course you’re not going to connect to talking to Him. I don’t connect to talking to this table, 'cause I don’t think it hears what I’m saying. I don’t connect to talking to the wall because it’s an exercise in futility. It’s foolish and ridiculous and silly. And if you don’t believe in Hashem, if you’re not invested and involved in a relationship with Hashem, if you’re not inspired to talk to Him and to hear Him talking to you, then of course your davening’s not going to get started. And that’s essentially in other words what Rav Dovid Abuchatzeira’s saying here. שמשפיע אמונה על תפילתו. Before you begin to daven, it’s not about no talking and we’ll create all kinds of sign-ups and we’ll say the mi sheberach of the Tosafot Yom Tov and we’ll pay people who don’t talk and we’ll, it’s not all about the campaign. If you’re somewhere you don’t want to be, doing something you don’t know why you’re doing it, talking to a wall, then yeah, it’s going to be very hard to get connected. So after you believe in Hashem there are all kinds of things we need to do like understanding tefillah and we do Siddur Snippets, we’re up to I think nearly 700, I don’t remember what number we’re at, a lot of Siddur Snippets. We offer Siddur Snippets 'cause we believe in, we started at Modeh Ani and we’re at Elokai Netzor at the end of the Amidah. We’re making our way through the Siddur 'cause we believe you need to know what you’re saying. But yet before we talk about knowing what we’re saying, you need to know who you’re saying it to and why you’re saying it to Him and hear when He talks to you. Emunah is the prerequisite, emunah is the foundation, emunah is the platform to meaningful prayer. If you don’t have faith, if you don’t have feeling, if you’re not in an inspired dynamic living relationship with Hashem, it’s going to be very hard to tolerate davening let alone be transformed and inspired by it. וכמו שהביא מהביא הדגל מחנה אפרים. Who’s the Degel Machaneh Ephraim? B'shem z'keino. And he says it in the name of his zeide, the Heiliger Baal Shem. The Degel Machaneh Ephraim is the einikel, is the grandson of the Heiliger Baal Shem. כלל גדול בעבודת הבורא ברוך הוא העיקר היא האמונה ועל זה היה מיסד אדוני אבי זקיני וזהו שורש לכל התורה ועבודה. The platform to everything we do is faith, is a connection to Hashem. Why am I lighting Chanukah candles? Why am I shaking a lulav? Why am I lighting candles? Why am I putting on tefillin? Why does it matter that I not gossip? Why am I honest in business? Why do I observe the 39 categories of creative labor on Shabbos? Why do I make a brocha before I sip my coffee? Why? What is it all about? But much more than only the ritual why, the why of my life. Why am I here? Why did I wake up? What is my mission? What is my purpose? Why am I in this moment? Why am I stuck in Newark airport? What is it all about? It’s that why, it’s that why. It’s the foundation, it’s the שורש לכל התורה ועבודה. The shoresh, the root, the foundation. You don’t have a strong foundation, it will all crumble. I talked about when they poured the foundation of our new expanded building, how important, how critical it is. We offered a special tefillah as they poured that foundation 'cause everything follows the foundation and if the foundation is not strong, everything built on it will crumble. You can’t build anything on it because it will just sink. So the foundation of all of our life, not only the foundation of the mitzvos and the rituals we do, but the foundation of life. Why am I here? What’s my mission? What am I meant to take away from this moment? It all, the answer to it all is emuna, faith, conversation, connection, feeling from Hashem. That's all the prerequisite to davening that leads to an inspired davening. We learned in the past, he doesn't quote it here, that's why Rav Wolbe says, shteit in the Gemara, the Gemara tells us that when do you want, when do you get Gan Eden? If you're somech geulah l'tefillah. What's somech geulah l'tefillah? This morning, when you davened or when you'll still yet daven, when you finish Ga'al Yisrael after Shema, the last bracha after Shema, birkas Krias Shema, we say ברוך אתה ה' גאל ישראל, three steps forward, we start our amidah, Hashem sefasai tiftach. Says the Gemara, say Chazal, our Rabbis: if you're somech geulah l'tefillah, if you finish Ga'al Yisrael and you start the amidah right away, u-wa, you get a glimpse of Gan Eden. You mean you finish Ga'al Yisrael and you didn't go have a coffee? You didn't go answer email? You didn't take the garbage to the curb? u-wa, such a big deal. Yeah, the siddur says after Ga'al Yisrael comes the amidah. Yeah, we say it right after, such a big deal, such a grandiose reward for doing what you're supposed to and what's obvious and frankly what's easy, what's in the siddur and what we've been doing every day of our lives, Ga'al Yisrael, Hashem sefasai tiftach. Says Rav Wolbe: I take those three steps forward and I say Hashem sefasai tiftach. By the way, we learn that from this week's parsha, the Rema quotes the Rokeach, three times vayigash appears in the Torah, three steps forward we approach Hashem to advocate, to ask, to demand. So I take those three steps forward and I might say to myself, why am I talking to him? This feels like I'm talking to the wall. Is he really listening? Does he really care? Will he really answer? Why? Why am I doing this? How many amidahs did I daven and it feels like I got a no? It feels like nobody was home, feels like nobody was listening. I didn't feel connected to what I was saying. How many times? So why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Says Rav Wolbe: That's what it means to be somech geulah l'tefillah. Right before I take three steps forward and I say Hashem, will you redeem me from my problem? Will you repair and fix what's broken? Will you answer my needs? Right before I ask him, I remember Ga'al Yisrael. You did it before, you could do it again. You're the one who every time Klal Yisrael felt stuck between the rock and the hard place, between the Egyptians and the sea, ten plagues, splitting of a sea, and the miracles of everything since then. The Rav Yaakov Emden writes in his siddur Beis Yaakov, Rav Yaakov Emden writes that all the miracles of the survival of the Jewish people since then are much greater of any the miracles that came before. Not for me to say such a thing, Rav Yaakov Emden writes it. Rav Yaakov Emden writes that the miracle that we're still here despite countless systematic attempts to exterminate, to expel, to destroy, to eliminate, inquisition, crusades, pogroms, expulsions, holocaust, and here we still are, each of those miracles are greater than the ten plagues and the splitting of the sea. azoy zugt, that's what Rav Yaakov Emden writes in his siddur. That says Rav Wolbe is what we're supposed to think about: Ga'al Yisrael, Hashem, you did it before, you could do it again. Why am I here? Why am I asking you? Why am I turning to you for all these things that I need? Because you've done it before, you could do it again, because you're the one who always does it, Ga'al Yisrael, now tefillah, I'm somech geulah l'tefillah. So what comes before tefillah? Essentially, before I take three steps forward and I turn to Hashem and I say, heal, provide sustenance and livelihood, bring justice, protect our people, bring redemption, before I come and take three steps forward and ask you for all these things I need, I stop, I pause, I take a deep breath, emuna, Ga'al Yisrael, you did it before, you could do it again. Let's go, let's have this conversation, I know you're the one to turn to, you're the one, you're the one. You know, person God forbid is having a problem, someone says, this is the lawyer, he's gotten everyone off, he's fixed everyone's problem, he corrected everyone's situation, he's the one who could do it. Before you walk in that office, you reread that email. Why am I here? Why am I spending all this money? Why am I taking this time? Oh yeah, look at all the people and all the times he did it before. You get in with that doctor nobody could get into because they're the best doctor. You get in into the best doctor and then you say again, why am I paying all this money, taking this time? Why did I wait in the waiting room as long as I did? Let me reread again, oh yeah, because this is the one who knows what they're doing and did it so many times before. L'havdil, before we take our three steps forward, Ribono Shel Olam, I have all these needs, all this brokenness, all these things, why am I turning to you? Ga'al Yisrael, emuna. So we reaffirm, we reestablish. We replenish, we nourish our emunah right before Ga'al Yisrael, right before we start our Amida, our Amida, because emunah has an impact on our tefilla. So if you think you're gonna work on your tefilla, you're gonna work on your davenning because you signed up for this campaign, you get that email, you listen to that class, you're in that WhatsApp group, you're doing all... they're all beautiful, they're wonderful, they're important, they're critical. Don't stop doing them, do more. But if it's not yet, if it's not preceded, if it's not introduced, if it's not built on the foundation first of, oh yeah, you're the one. I forgot you created the world, you exist, you love me, you're intimately aware of everything in my life, you're involved and influence all the outcomes in my life, and that's why I'm talking to you. That comes first. וזה שאמר דוד המלך עליו השלום כל מצותיך אמונה שקר רדפוני עזרני. A pasuk in Tehillim perek kuf yud tes, kapittel 119. Kol mitzvosecha emunah, all of your mitzvos are emunah. Sheker redafuni ezreni. כי עיקר המצוות היא אמונה להאמין בהשם. Underlying at the core, the foundation of all mitzvos is faith. ומי שהוא מאמין בהשם יכול להתפלל בכל יום. You know when Bar Kupershtein was hopping and bopping and dancing on someone's shoulders then standing on the chair? He was singing מי שמאמין לא מפחד. If anyone can sing that it's him. 738 days he lived it. מי שמאמין לא מפחד. He described when he was first underground, what was me and why am I here? He used his mother's emunah as a chutzpa and he felt Hashem is with me. He talked about Hashem is with me in the tunnel. He's with me in captivity and there's a reason that I'm here. מי שמאמין לא מפחד. ומי שהוא מאמין בהשם יכול להתפלל בכל יום. If you believe in Hashem you can daven every day, כי הוא מאמין שהשם הוא מחדש בכל יום תמיד מעשה בראשית. If you believe that Hashem restores all of existence every day, ובכל יום בריאה חדשה. Every day I am born anew. Every day is a new me, it's a new world, it's a new possibility, it's a new chance. וכל העולמות הם ברואים חדשים. The whole existence is renewed, contract is extended, fresh. צריך להתפלל וליתן שבח והודיה למי שברא הכל. And we have to give praise and thanks to the creator of it all. וגם ברא אותו להתפלל נפשו ונפש אשתו ובניו על פרנסתו וכל טוב. Hashem has given me the privilege and the opportunity to be here. I woke up today. How many people didn't? Thank you Hashem, I woke up, and it's a beautiful day outside and it's a beautiful day pregnant with possibility. It's a future day. Who knows what today will be? And I'll repeat what I said last week because apparently it had a very positive impact on the person who needed to hear it. Who knows if the next phone call is not to be to introduce you to the person you're gonna marry? Who knows if the next pregnancy test is not the one that's gonna come out positive? Who knows if the next meeting with your boss is not to give you that raise that's gonna enable you to put the food on the table with menuchas hanefesh. Who knows? Every day is new possibility. Never give up hope. Our story is never done, we're writing the next chapter because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is renewing the world and our life every day. Who knows if the next judgment from the judge, who knows if the next petition to the court, who knows if the next, who knows, who knows if the next lottery ticket, 1.7 billion dollars tonight? Powerball, Hashem I have such good things I could do with it. Such amazing things, you keep saying no, but it's a new day and it's a new lottery and a new Powerball and who knows if today is the day you gotta be in it to win it. So you daven. ואם אינו מאמין באמונה שלמה שהקדוש ברוך הוא מחדש בכל יום מעשה בראשית. Because if you think, no, He created the world 5,786 years ago, He set it in motion and that's it. Things are just now happening the way they're meant to happen. Now we're just victims of data, statistics, chance, randomness. Why daven? Can't change outcomes. Not gonna influence what happens next because we're just on Hashem pressed go 5,786 years ago. He pressed start and now we're just in motion. So why bother davenning? Can't change anything. But that's not what we believe. He pressed go then and every day begins with His pressing go again. Every day is new, every day is renewal, every day is fresh. התפילה והמצוות נעשים כדבר ישן ורגע ונמאס לו לדבר דבר אחד מכל יום ויום. If you think He just pressed go then and started a world and put it in motion, then why bother davenning or trying to change an outcome? But when you wake up and you realize every day turns the page, it's a new day, that's one of the swag we created once, I think we still have more. We made notebooks, anyone here get those notebooks? On top, there you go, you're holding up one. What did it say? Modeh ani, thank you Hashem for a new day, turn the page. It was a notebook because every day turn the page. Ah, yesterday you filled it out with negative pregnancy test, misery, this person wronged me, sat in traffic, Newark Airport, that was yesterday. Turn the page because you know what the next page is? It's blank, it's fresh. It's clean, it's filled with opportunity. Who knows what's gonna get written in it, who knows? That's our davening, our davening is writing the next page, writing that next page. So im yirtzeh Hashem we should share news of simchos with one another, write that next page together and fill it only with the most positive. We're not gonna do questions and answers, baruch Hashem I have a bris I have to run to. Wishing everyone a happy, a healthy, a holy, fantastic day and news of simchos.
