Transcript
Good morning and בוקר טוב. Welcome back to living with אמונה on a morning that כלל ישראל need a lot of אמונה. Not an easy night last night. Maybe we'll talk more about, maybe we won't, but we all need to lean into our אמונה on nights like last night, on mornings like this morning. As always, we begin with an attitude of gratitude, grateful to השם for every blessing in our life and grateful to those who make it happen. So a big thank you to Dr. Zvi and Bella Morgan who sponsored our series in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galvin, in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Schanzer, for שמירה for our holy IDF soldiers. Generously sponsored as well in memory of the 30 fallen soldiers and alumni of בני דוד מכינה and ישיבה in עלי. This week highlighting עמישר בן דוד, השם יקום דמו. 43, reserve major in the Commando Brigade. He fell in combat in Gaza, was a married father of five, lived in עלי, a man of kindness. He had donated a kidney to a stranger. He was a high school educator. He was a volunteer, מגן דוד אדום. He had studied at בני דוד in עלי. These were gems of people, angels, heroes that were lost. We continue to honor their memory and we're grateful to our sponsor who each week is highlighting another one to allow us to learn in their memory. This morning's שיעור is sponsored by Sheva Myers for the רפואה שלמה of דבורה לאה בת ביילא, in memory of Judy Grunbaum, עליה השלום on her 30th יארצייט, the grandmother of Rabbi ארי and רייכי Merzov and רינה and שלומי Berkowitz. The נשמה should have an עלייה. The נשמה should have an עלייה.Okay, a few emails, a few miscellaneous, and back to our text. We're so excited. A super generous, incredible member of our community donated 70 copies of what we're learning, שערי תפילה. So take one. They're here for you. If you're here regularly, if you're just a visitor passing through, it's your lucky day. You get to go home with a souvenir, a takeaway from בוקר טוב Boca Raton Synagogue. So take one. We're not going to make copies. Bring it back. This is what we're learning from. If you don't live here, in case last night didn't give you another reason to move here, but getting a free copy of a ספר is. I say that not lightly, God forbid, not to make light of what people are or may, God forbid, go through. But you come, take your copy.Dear Rabbi Goldberg, אמונה moment of the day. We're buying our first home in Israel and this morning had an appointment in ירושלים to sign on our mortgage. Well, my son woke up not feeling great, so getting out to school took longer, leading us to leave later, and not leaving me a chance to דאווען. Because of this, I had my husband drive so I could דאווען on the way. This led him to taking the back road out of where we live, which always has traffic. As I watched the Waze time creep up, I quietly thanked השם that since I was mid-דאווען, I didn't say anything passively negative about the route. That's the first thank you, השם. In other words, instead of getting into a fight, being critical, why'd you go this way or that way, even with the Waze creeping up. Traffic eventually flowed, but we were now running 10 minutes late. About 10 minutes before our ETA, a car started beeping us in quick succession on the driver's side. We didn't know what they wanted to tell us. A few minutes later, they were on our other side, beeping again. I rolled down my window and the driver said, your car exhaust is full of smoke. He made this face that said, you better slow down and stop. By then, we were seven minutes away and we didn't see anything else weird in the car, so we kept going. The other car hovered near us for a few good minutes of the drive making a נו נו נו face, like, why aren't you pulling over? With three minutes left to the bank, we decided we'll check the car when we arrive. Well, we arrived safely and saw, hey, no smoke. Took us until after our appointment to figure it out. Our car was in fact fine. It was even serviced two weeks ago. In hindsight, the details of the friendly man and his friend was likely a trap for us to stop the car. It was then I realized that השם in fact protected us. If we had not been running late, we probably would have stopped. But thanks to the earlier chain of events, sick kids, late start, we in fact did not stop, which saved us from something for sure. It was an easy detail to be missed, but living in an odd post-war movement in Israel, we have no idea what fate waited for us if we stopped. Grateful to see יד השם in that moment.So again, you live life, you can complain or be negative or frustrated, or you could see the hand of השם and the hug of השם, and understand why things happen the way they happen, and this is the argument from her of why.Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I have lots of הכרת הטוב, lots of gratitude for the many hours and kilometers you filled my car with חיזוק and תורה as I drive around Israel doing home visits as a social worker. I work in a rehab program. Don't take a copy, take a copy of the book. I work, I work in a rehab program for victims of domestic violence and your podcast gives me a lot of perspective, the חיזוק to live in ארץ ישראל. Last week I heard a ווארט from Rabbi Joey Haber on Stories to Inspire. It was so good, I called up all my family members individually to share. One of the six questions we'll be asked in שמים, one of the six questions we get asked when we get up to heaven is, after 120, ציפית לישועה? Which typically is translated to mean, did you long for the גאולה, for redemption? Did you wait and long for משיח? ציפית לגאולה? Did you long for משיח? But Rabbi Haber said, ציפית לישועת השם? Did you live with אמונה that השם is in control and truly believe השם is with you and you'll… always come through for you. ציפית לישועה is not a question of, did you long for and wait for what in fancy words means the eschatological era. Are you impressed? Yes. Eschatological means ימות המשיח, the time of משיח. Did you sit? Did you wait? Did you long? Did you yearn? Did you contribute towards? Did you anticipate for when משיח will come? Which is also one of the questions, and we all should be able to answer please God, yes. But he suggested what it means is in our own lives, with whatever we're going through and waiting for, ציפית לישועה is השם. Did you become hopeless and helpless? Did you despair? Or ציפית לישועה, did you wait and long for the hand of השם? Wow. What a great וורט. What a great אמונה email. It was an אמונה email that was an אמונה דבר תורה. It's also a great אמונה email and I loved it. I think it also does connect to last night and what we're going through. I saw יוכבד shared with me and posted. Honestly, it's not a חידוש, it's what we've been talking about and what we learn about and what we're trying to live. Which was, we are constantly talking about, and I'd have to say many of the emails I get revolve around this tension between השתדלות, initiative and effort, and בטחון ואמונה, faith and trust in השם.What happened last night is is a front row, is ground zero for us to be working on that. השתדלות is the effort we put in in advance. השתדלות is to campaign and advocate and lobby and contribute and to work with every fiber of our being that an unrepentant antisemite, anti-Israel person is not elected. That was the השתדלות, that was the effort in advance. After the results and the come in, the conclusion of an election, אמונה ובטחון are recognizing it's all part of השם's master plan. That's where אמונה comes in. That's where אמונה comes in. If a איד last night or this morning looks at the result and feels despair and hopeless and the writing is on the wall and there's no future, that's a failure and a breakdown, I'm sorry to say, of אמונה ובטחון. לב מלכים ביד השם. The hearts of kings is in the hand of השם. And all that happens, all that happens, it comes from him and none of us can predict and none of us know. We don't know what will be, and I say this with sympathy and empathy and love and care and concern for our brothers and sisters and frankly for everyone in New York. We don't know, but we also don't know what could be a positive outcome that was only precipitated that this became a catalyst of that. Who was elected in the future, what policy passed, what things were swayed, how how a tide was turned, a momentum shifted. We have no idea. So beforehand, we do השתדלות. Beforehand, every effort with every fiber of our being to influence and impact, mold and shape our destiny and future. But when results come in, when a conclusion is reached, then we surrender and submit, we trust in השם. אל תבטחו בנדיבים. We don't trust princes and politicians. We have faith only and singularly in the ריבונו של עולם, in the Almighty. I could give countless examples just of the few years, let alone my lifetime, let alone Jewish history, that we moaned and wailed and cried when we thought something was an absolute disaster, and it turned out it was part of a formula that השם, a plan that he had. And there were other times that we gleefully rejoiced. We thought our candidate won. We thought this was the promise of a perfect future. It turns out that person wasn't what we thought they were, and it wasn't what it cracked up to be, and it didn't go our way.So השם has a plan. השם has a plan. And will that plan mean Jewish migration? Will that plan mean some difficult days ahead? Will that plan mean some catalyst for some consequence or outcome that we can't even anticipate right now? We don't know. But what we do know is that with all the work that we do, and there's now new work to be done, I'm not saying אמונה ובטחון means become passive and complacent. There's now a whole new round of work to be done for the Jewish community, for the US-New York-Israel relationship. There's now a whole new round of work to be done, but it means we do it, we do it with a sense of אמונה ובטחון. How much time did we spend on learning about השתוות? השתוות is equanimity. Last night and this morning, our השתוות is being put to the test. Our high shouldn't be too high and our low shouldn't be too low. And our excitement or glee with what we think is a good outcome shouldn't be too great because we don't know, and our sense of frustration or disappointment or concern shouldn't be too low because we don't know that something's truly a negative outcome. The שויתי השם לנגדי תמיד, the השתוות of it's all the same to me that we're working on or should be working on that we learned and talked about, this is where the rubber meets the road on mornings like this, on days like this. I'm not saying that you should say, oh, this is great, it's השם's plan, yay! You didn't have to go blow up balloons and and put streamers in your house last night or today. But what I am saying is, as we respond and reflect, with concern and action, we also do it with an equanimity. Our highs aren't too high and our lows aren't too low. We do it with a sense that it's all part of השם's plan and we wait to see on this adventure and this journey of Judaism what comes next. Where we go from here, what happens next? It's not easy. I don't mean to suggest when I'm saying this that this is easy. It's not easy what I'm saying. But what's the alternative? What's the alternative? It's not easy, but I do believe that this is what's demanded of us. This is what this moment calls for and other moments like it is to be able to bring that that response. So that's part of the ווארט. ציפיתי לישועה, that's part of the ווארט that we just got in that great email. Thank you for the email. That's Rabbi Joey Haber. Thank you, Rav Joey Haber. That's what ציפיתי לישועה means. Not just that I longed for some משיח, that I want this great future, which by the way is a very good question. There's a great Jewish comedian who I know since he's a child. He's hilarious and I love him and he's wonderful. And he did a whole bit this past summer where he was visiting the bungalows in New York, and he looked around and he said, the people who live here, their worst nightmare is משיח coming. Like the happiness and the joy, the barbecues and charcuterie boards, the קידושים and the הקהילה bar, the like, like if משיח came, it's like their worst nightmare. Okay, that's his routine. I'm not judging anyone anywhere. We should ask ourselves though, is משיח coming our worst nightmare or dream come true? Do we feel the hole in our heart and the absence in our lives? Do we realize that fear and fright that we were filled with this morning, is this 1930s again? My חברותא, we learn at the כולל בוקר early mornings. He said to me this morning, we went to elementary school together. And then we went to ישיבה together, and ברוך השם we're still learning. He said to me this morning, he said, do you remember, which is true, in elementary school, we watched a movie, a film we were shown. Did anyone see this called The Wave? The Wave? Did anyone see The Wave? And The Wave was a story about how could it be that Hitler rose to power? How could the Nazis have taken over Germany, a Nazi party? How could decent people have been turned to be able to perpetrate a genocide, six million? And it showed how the ideas seeped in, how the election, how the the polemic and the rhetoric, and in the beginning of the movie it was an impossibility, and by the end, it was like obvious how it happened. Was anyone else haunted by The Wave? Probably shouldn't have shown a group of like middle school kids, elementary school kids. It was a different time. We were made tougher back then. So they showed us this wave. So my חברותא said to me this morning, it's like that movie we saw in elementary school. It feels a little bit like it. Like how could it be an unrepentant, unapologetic, explicit anti-Semite, anti-Zionist, anti-Israel, who ran on that platform, how could it be? Forget that he ran. How could it be that 50% of New Yorkers, including 30% of Jews who voted, voted for him? How could it be? You didn't come this morning for my for my analysis, election analysis at Living with אמונה, special edition. We're not going to do an election analysis. But my point is, when he said that to me, there's like a pit in your stomach. טאקע, it's like The Wave. Wow. That's where ציפיתי לישועה comes in. Do you realize that's גלות? That's גלות. Yes, we got kosher restaurants and charcuterie boards and tequila bars, and we've got all kinds of, I don't know, חלה recipes and tri-colored גפילטע פיש, and every Jewish pizza store has sushi and and we're living in remarkable and extraordinary times and ישיבות and כוללים and and women's seminaries and learning opportunities. And you know what, with all that, this is גלות. That 30% of our brothers and sisters voted for someone who wants their own demise is is is tragic, it's sad. I think we have to love them and fill them with light. What I wrote about last week, not everybody agreed. Many disagreed vehemently. Even those who never disagree with me. Yeah Ben, I'm talking about you. Even those they disagree with me. And that's okay. But we have to love them. We have to love them nonetheless. But that's גלות, that's the hole in our heart, that's the ציפיתי לישועה. But Rav Joey Haber's encouraging us, ציפיתי לישועה is not only the collective, the big, the national, the peoplehood, the eschatological era of משיח. ציפיתי לישועה means whatever I'm going through, do I, do I believe that however this turns out is what he wants from me, is the outcome that he believes is best. And I long for that salvation and I know that is going to come. I want to introduce myself from such and such place. I am now a בחור in New York City. I became בעל תשובה three years ago, the transformation has been incredible. After a year of becoming פרום, I went to Israel to grow and immerse myself, which meant putting a pause on work and focusing on ישיבה. ברוך השם, I have incredible parents who supported me along the way, even pushed me to stay longer in Israel. After a little more than a year and a half, I decided I needed to push, I needed to move back to the States and began transitioning from the amazing time I had in ישיבה to focus on פרנסה and שידוכים. Over the summer, I was able to get a job working part-time for one of my friends in the tech world. Things were going great. But after a few months, all of a sudden he told me he didn't want contractors, 1099, anymore and I was on the chopping block. Well, knowing that השם runs the world and this is obviously the best thing for me, or else why would it have happened. Feeling that השם had my back was a different story. I began to feel like I was abandoned. I was confused. It took the confidence out of me dating and was really difficult. I felt I was right back where I was only a few months ago, it was really frustrating. But I knew the only thing that could pull myself out of this was to apply to as many jobs as I could. Two hundred plus applications later, some, most rejected. Of the few I was having interviews with, many of them would stop responding after a great first round. This feeling of rejection was very difficult. Even though I know people around me that have been searching for a job for a long time been able to have a relationship with השם, for me each day that went by was extremely hard. Right around סוכות time this year I got a final round interview of a job I was really excited about. It would be utilizing some of this new skills that I got from the summer job as well being remote. Things were feeling like I was on the right track. Each interview that I did I felt more and more confident השם had lined up the perfect job for me. After each great interview I said מזמור לתודה to thank השם for the interview and I felt like everything was coming together. However, just two hours before שבת, after four interviews and two weeks of patience, I got a general email telling me I didn't get the job. I never felt disappointed in השם like that. I was so confused and I didn't understand. I felt like I did everything that I had to and that many things were going to come together beautifully, but instead, just another dead end that made me feel yet again so lost. ברוך השם for my parents and community for being amazing people to lean on, be able to open up I was struggling. The community that exists in the Orthodox world is the greatest feeling in the world. I knew that eventually things would work out but it was hard. But I got up and kept applying. But I'll give you the ending. ברוך השם, I just started a new job today. I'm doing exactly what I was doing over the summer and it's remote, which I can travel to see family and be in community back home. So excited about this job and thanking השם every day. Thank you for the שיעורים and support, not just in Boca but they made אמונה muscles stronger and made me a better איד. מזל טוב on the new granddaughter. You and your whole family should only know שמחות and ברכות. אמן. אמן. יישר כח. Okay, ברוך השם. These hard times are examples of ציפית לישועה. As we go through them, as we're waiting and longing from them and during them, do we feel that, do we feel that? One more email. When I wrote my first letter, I secretly hoped the next time I'd be in your inbox, I'd be sharing a happy ever after update tied with a shiny ribbon and a poster of my son opening for Yishai Ribo. That is not the letter. That is not this letter. I don't know if you remember this letter. Her son, musical going into the army, would he give up the music career in order to serve in combat? What should he do? You remember that letter? Well, then you need to go back and listen to Living with אמונה. Instead, this is a story of exercising the אמונה muscle you so often talk about when things don't neatly fall in place. I've had the זכות to watch my son along with his fellow friends and soldiers continue to draw strength from their faith while serving in Gaza under grueling conditions, attending the funeral of friends, enduring extended service, and in my son's case watching his music career sit patiently in the corner. Their אמונה shines through in the smallest moments, believing they are exactly where they're meant to be, even in a combat zone for more than a year without showers, air conditioning, reliably hot food, or visits home for 30 days or more at a time. I believe their אמונה comes from the certainty that השם has them right where they're meant, where he wants them to be. Back to the story I want to share today. After having to pass up many opportunities due to his army service, there came an unexpected twist. A major reality talent show, the kind that can turn a singer into a household name, reached out and invited him to audition. They scouted him and were so excited about his coming on. They were understanding of him being in and out of Gaza, and were skipping him to the third round. Imagine that. I'll admit our first thought was, wow, השם just sent a kiss and a hug, and honestly, it felt amazing. But opportunities are not always what they seem. After careful thought, many conversations and guidance from his רב, he realized that as much as this would certainly help his career, it wasn't the right stage for a religious ישיבה boy to step onto. Wow. Perhaps that kiss from השם wasn't meant to be a doorway, but a reminder that his music continues to be enjoyed and valued and that he hasn't been forgotten. So he said no. But we know from your שיעור, your שיעור and the letters that you've shared, that אמונה isn't only about waiting for doors to open. Sometimes it's about choosing which ones to leave closed and believing that the right door will open when the time is right. Your אמונה שיעור continues to inspire him, myself and our entire family. It's the perspective that keeps us grounded, gives meaning to every twist in this story. I hope the next update will be the one where everything finally falls into place, the ending we've been hoping for. Or maybe he'll have the opportunity to update you personally when his music tour takes him to Boca. If you're not in awe of our soldiers. Look at this ישיבה boy who's been waiting, fighting in Gaza, is given his chance and turned it down. Now you might dismiss that as, yeah, obviously he should turn that down. That's not the right place for a ישיבה boy. Look at the sacrifice. Look at the מסירות נפש. Not only risking his life and being in fighting in Gaza, but what a story. What a story. These are our heroes. ישיבה boys fighting on front lines, being מוסר נפש in so many ways, endless admiration and love and תפילה for his success in everything that he does. Two more things to quickly share and then we get back into our text. One, I was in New York last week and this was the car in front of me. This was the license plate. I had to take a picture. Psalm 113. Last week we got the guy with the jersey, Psalm 23. I don't know what message השם is sending me. Last week we've got a guy wearing a tank top jersey, Psalm 23. That was his number, that was the team he was playing on. And this time we have a license plate. Psalm 113. If you look up Psalm 113, anyone know what it is? הלל. So I looked it up, got me thinking. I don't know what the message was, but it was a message, a wink, a hug, a nod. It was, it was something. The other I met a wonderful young woman who as she was making her way through college and graduate school, in a long line of dating and uncertainty in it, she has, you could see it is a very crumpled up piece of paper that she sits down and puts on her desk. Every time she sat down to do schoolwork, every time she sat down to look at another resume or reach out to another שדכן or figure out her next step. And this was something she typed up in large font for herself, and you could see how worn and used this paper is, and she put it down on her desk and still does each time she sits down for her schoolwork to center and ground her. And it says, Keep going Avigail, השם loves you. And it was her daily reminder through the daily grind, keep going, השם loves you. And now she's engaged. She just had her ווארט, בעזרת השם soon to be married. She'll have נחת and ברכה and שמחה. But also I loved it, because again, we've got our stickers. Mine is so worn off on the back of my phone. We've got the luggage tag and the stickers and the coffee mugs that we're going to figure out a way to make it available to everybody and easy. Not because we make any money off of it or we want to become famous through it. Our name doesn't appear anywhere on it, but because it enhances and enriches life. I use that cup every morning and every morning, bleary-eyed and half asleep, I would have swallowed the ברכה faster than the coffee if not for the cup reminding me to caffinate with כוונה. So this is another one. Keep going, השם loves you. That should be the home screen of our phone and a sticker on our computer and on the steering wheel and on the mirror and everywhere to remember even in those hard times and moments to be patient, השם loves you. Every week we put out in our lobby the 'Here's my story.' This is put out by חב\"ד. 'Here's my story' is the testimony of somebody else who met the Rebbe, the Rebbe's impact on their life, another story. I read it every week. I love it. I always get something from it. But particularly this week I love the language in it. This is someone who kept going back and forth to the Rebbe, had meetings and they were anxious about things and stressed out and had big decisions to make and didn't know what to do. And at one point the Rebbe said to this woman, one time when I confided in the Rebbe about some of my fears and concerns, I was always worried about everything, he told me, quote, I love this, we got to put this on something. Don't be a worrier, be a warrior. Don't be a worrier, be a warrior. Now again, we're not talking about clinical anxiety, clinical worry that needs help, support, no judgment or shame. We're talking about the general Jewish worrying. So the Rebbe looked and he said, don't be a worrier, be a warrior. Channel that worry, take the energy and the time spent on worry and be a warrior. When I saw that license plate and when I met that girl, was all last week I was in New York. Last week in New York on Thursday, you may recall was a horrific downpour weather insanity in New York, coupled with the government shutdown, every flight from LaGuardia that was going that evening was delayed or cancelled. And mine kept saying on time. And I mistakenly, חטאתי אני מזכיר, I'm embarrassed and ashamed to tell you, spent a good part of the day checking, worrying, trying to manipulate and control. Should I switch to this other? Should I book the next morning just in case? How will I figure it out? Guess what? Of all the flights that night, and there were two gates next to each other in LaGuardia, both LaGuardia, JetBlue to Fort Lauderdale. One was 3:30 in the afternoon, mine was 8:20 p.m. My 8:20 p.m., the 3:30 in the afternoon had not yet left and our 8:20 left on time. And I look back and felt how much energy and anxiousness, how much gigabytes of texting back and forth with יוכבד and JetBlue and Leah did I waste and spend worrying about something that never happened? It was okay all along. Again, השתדלות. I'm not saying sometimes you shouldn't try to get on a different flight, make plans, react and respond. Of course we should. But without ever, just unemotional. We should try to regulate ourselves. השתוות, equanimity, without the, channel the energy of being a worrier instead into being a warrior. And I say that about the election results too. What will be, what's going to happen? I can't believe it, this is the end. Stop it. Stop, don't be a worrier, go be a warrior. There are things to do, differences to make, actions to take. Channel and pivot. Stop being a worrier and start being a warrior. We're on page כ\"ח in of David Abuhatzeira, שערי תפילה. We have a copy for everyone in attendance. If you didn't yet get yours, please feel free to come and take one. If you took one, please bring it back each week because that's what we're going to be learning from. So we're not making copies, please bring it back each week. We're in the bottom left-hand column. And of David Abuhatzeira has been developing the idea. I hope you appreciate, we don't spend like three-quarters of the שיעור on emails and then barely learn תורה. We try to weave in תורה throughout the emails also, then we open the text. Okay, I said that, it just makes me feel better. I don't think any of you were really thinking that, but anyway, now I feel better. Okay. Bottom left column of page קכ\"ה, 125. שערי תפילה, page 125, קכ\"ה. קכ\"ה, 125, bottom of the left-hand column. לאחר שביקש. If someone sitting near you can't find the place, help them find it. And ladies, this is a great way to learn. My library at home is filled with books that are marked up. When you take a book from the public library, God forbid, you shouldn't go anywhere near it with a pen or marker or a highlighter, you're not allowed to touch it. And that is often a secular view of books. The Jewish view of books is wear them out. Underline and scribble and asterisk and write notes in the margins, and that is the greatest gift that you can bequeath your children and grandchildren is that they will be trying to make sense of your little notes and your underlines and your scribbles and your highlights, and they will be blown away. They'll be blown away and realize. You'll try to make sense of it. Last night I was חוזר with my son his גמרא בבא קמא. He had his גמרא in school so I took out one of my old בבא קמאs. I was so excited to show him, שי, I used to once be somebody, I used to once learn too, and look, the whole בבא קמא, there's underlines and there's notes in the margins. And I was reading the notes in the margins and I have no idea what I was talking about. I have no idea what I was alluding to or what I was saying. I don't know because then I was immature and now I am such a greater learner or because then I was really learning all day and really understood it and now I work for a living, נבך. I don't know which one, but I was proud and excited to show him, look at my בבא קמא. It's not pure and pristine. The binding's broken and it's underlined all over, and there's scribbles throughout. So take this and make it your own. We say in תהילים, we're going to get into it. We say in תהילים in the first פרק, כי תורת השם חפצו ובתורתו יהגה יומם ולילה. In the first פרק, in the first chapter of תהילים we say, תורת השם. It's your תורה, השם. בתורת השם חפצו is your desire, ובתורתו, and in his תורה he delves all day long. How did it go from תורת השם to תורתו? It's the תורה of God to your תורה. The answer is by breaking the binding, by scribbling, make a קניין, acquire תורה, make it your own. Don't passively listen to some שיעור, you're passively listening. Take it. Let it look worn out. Break the binding, underline, scribble, highlight a text, show something that jumps out to you, write the English over it, write the English over it. You know, when I was in high school, I had a wonderful Jewish education, wonderful parents, but my learning level needed some improvement. And I went to מרשה כלה summer. Back then we didn't have Artscroll, I'm not that old, but Artscroll was just coming out with its different מסכתות, but we had, do you remember the red סנצ'ינוs? Like in old English, 'whosoever yay' and 'a priori' and 'a fortiori' and all that, I don't know, Latin, half of it was Latin. I had a סנצ'ינו and I had it was the גמרא ראש השנה. I still have this at home, it's one of my prize possessions. I sat that summer with the סנצ'ינו and with the גמרא ראש השנה. And I copied the English over every word, the entire מסכת ראש השנה, I learned it through by copying the English over every word, over every word. And to this day if I'm learning a ספר and there's a word I don't understand, I write it on top. I learned a new word, a new translation. So make this through the gift and the generosity of a dear friend and an amazing person in our community, you now all have your own copy. Make it your own. Write the words on top you don't understand, underline a phrase that jumps out to you, break that margin, wear it out, and let whoever discovers it one day be impressed that you were involved in of David Abuhatzeira's שערי תפילה. And I shouldn't say impressed, should be inspired, inspired. לאחר שביקש דוד המלך עליו השלום, this זכות שלא יחסר. I have to read slower now. לאחר שביקש דוד המלך. After King David requested this זכות שלא יחסר ממנו בחינת ה' רועי. We've learned until now, ה' רועי, Psalm 23, 'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack.' Not 'I shall not lack' because he's my shepherd, but 'let me never lack knowing he's my shepherd.' Let me always and forever know he's my shepherd. ביקש, so after King David, after דוד המלך said, God, let me always feel your presence in my life, let me never suffer or struggle with feeling you're not there. He continues, ביקש. בקש עוד he requested further, גם כי אלך בגיא צלמות, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, לא אירא רע. I fear no evil. גם בעת צרה שהרחמי השם נגלים לעין, even when I'm going through a crisis, even the Jewish people are going through a hard time where the kindness and compassion of השם are not revealed to the eye. גם כן, לא אירא רע. Even in those moments I will fear no evil. I don't care who gets elected where, I don't care what the lab results show, I don't care what's happened what the שדכן said, I don't care what they got back to me about the job interview. Even when I'm walking, I don't care going in and out of Gaza, even when walking through גיא צלמות, לא אירא רע. לא אירא רע. Even when I can't see you visibly, even when it's not obvious, even when you're not revealed and explicit, but I still fear no evil because I know you're there.How many hostages found God in tunnels, in captivity? Stories that are still coming out are mind-blowing. If you haven't read Elisha Rabi's hostage, what he talks about, the faith he found down there. How many put on תפילין and טלית, took a לולב, sat in a סוכה, made a ברכה? It's unbelievable. Not all, and not all everything, but the faith that they found בגיא צלמות, in the valley of the shadow of death, even when השם was not visible or revealed or obvious, לא אירא רע. והוסיף לבקש, and then דוד המלך continues and asks, אך טוב וחסד ירדפוני. May goodness and kindness pursue me. שירדפוהו חסד, הן חסד נגלה, הן חסד נסתר. May loving kindness chase after me, whether it's revealed loving kindness or hidden loving kindness. הן טוב שהוא חסד במספר קטן, whether it's a חסד in small quantity, הן חסד נגלה or revealed חסד, ובכח האמונה נזכה שיתהפך הטוב לחסד, and through the power of faith let us merit to transform good to kindness, ויתגלו עלינו רחמיו יתברך בשלימות, בשלימות.So דוד המלך is breaking down, he's breaking down קפיטל כג, Psalm 23. First it starts, השם רועי, God, you're my shepherd. And I don't just want to talk about you, I want to know the shepherd. I want to feel the shepherd. I want to talk to the shepherd. I want to hear the shepherd talking to me. And לא אחסר, may I never stop feeling you're my shepherd. And when I can achieve that, when your guiding hand is always on my shoulder, when I live life with your embrace, when I see you everywhere, then even גם כי אלך בגיא צלמות, even when I'm walking through the valley of the shadow of death, לא אירא רע. Even though it's not obvious and it's not easy to see you, but I won't fear evil because why? לא אחסר. I'll never be lacking in knowing you're my shepherd. And then אך טוב וחסד ירדפוני. אך טוב וחסד ירדפוני.When I was 21 in ישיבה and trying to decide whether I should start dating or not. I was at a wedding, there was a מקובל from ארץ ישראל. It's okay to tell the story? It's a funny story. What's the problem with the story? There was a מקובל. I was talking to a רבי of mine at the wedding, should I start dating, not start dating? And there was a מקובל from ארץ ישראל, not Rav Scheinberg, but Rav Scheinberger, who was a מקובל from ארץ ישראל. And my רבי who had a relationship with him said, ask him. I remember we were walking in the wedding hall and he turned and he said to me, how old are you? I said 21. He said, אך. אך is 21. It states in the פסוק, it says in the פסוק, אך טוב וחסד. מצא אישה מצא טוב. So 21 you should start dating and you'll get married. ברוך השם. Anyway, that had nothing to do with anything, but the פסוק אך טוב, אך טוב וחסד. אך, אך, אך just, may only, just good and kindness pursue me. But he, the numerical value of אך is 21. And טוב, the פסוק says, מצא אישה מצא טוב. If you get married and you have a good marriage, then you've found goodness. So he, אך, he was saying, oh you're 21, the numerical value of אך is 21. אך טוב, מצא אישה מצא טוב, you should get married. Okay. I don't think I got married 'til 22. But 21, I started. Do we get engaged? Did I find you at 21? Found you at 21. ברוך השם. It's all him. It's all him.We gave a סגולה two nights ago, if you're if you're dating or someone you know is dating or someone you love is dating, I didn't know the סגולה, but in Seder Snippets two nights ago, listen to Seder Snippets from two nights ago, and we shared what Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky credited marrying off all her children, what her father Rav Elyashiv did that she said got her married, what 20 בחורים from חברון who were older all did when they learned, and within two months all got... engaged. By the way, I don't believe in סגולות. But what they all did... Anyway, two nights ago Sidder Snippet, I started doing it for the people I know and love who I want to help get married. So, I'm not telling you what it is because I want you to have to find the Sidder Snippet. I'm not telling you. You got to do your own homework. I'm not serving this on a silver spoon to you. You got to do your own work. Two nights ago, two nights ago. Anyway, אך טוב וחסד. So דוד המלך starts, 'May I never be lacking in feeling? May I never be lacking in feeling that השם is my shepherd?' And because of that, even when I'm in the shadow of death and you can't see him visibly, may I always know he's with me. And let kindness and goodness always pursue me, so that I can see revealed and hidden, when doors close and doors open, when I close doors and other doors open, let me see the goodness, the kindness, the love of השם. ובזה יש לפרש את הפסוק, and with this we can explain, says רב דוד אבוחצירא, the next פסוק. הראינו השם חסדך. Another פסוק in תהילים, chapter 85. 'Show us השם your loving kindness, שאנחנו מבקשים שהקדוש ברוך הוא יראה לנו את רחמיו בגלוי. השם, we don't want it to be a mystery and we don't want your kindness to come through some twists and turn, 'Yeah, you elected that guy, but it turned out to be great for that reason and this thing happened for that.' No, just just show me the kindness that I can see explicitly the kindness. חסד נגלה, let us see revealed kindness. ועל זה מבקשים אנו בכל יום בברכות השחר, and we say this every morning. וגמלני חסדים טובים. צורך ביאור. גמלני, גמל, which is a topic for another time. But what do we call it? גמילות חסדים. We're almost up to this in the פרשיות. We'll read about רבקה feeding the camels. She was the paradigm of חסד. We talk about, 'Do גמל חסד.' Why do we call חסד, גמל חסד? גמילות חסדים comes from the root word גמל, which is a camel. What's גמל חסד? How is it different than חמור חסד and סוס חסד and חתול חסד and אוגר חסד and איגואנה חסד? Why, why גמל חסד? וגמלני חסדים טובים. ויש חסדים טובים וחסדים שאינם טובים? Why do we ask השם to do חסדים טובים? Do good loving kindness. Is there good loving kindness and bad loving kindness? Is there good חסד and bad חסד? ולמה צריך לפרש את הכוונה לחסדים טובים? אלא כמו שנתבאר, שנזכה לראות את החסדים בגלוי ובידיעה ברורה בהכרת החסד לעינינו. חסדים טובים means, השם, act with me with חסד, kindness, compassion, mercy, sensitivity, sympathy, love. And do it טובים, do it in a way that's revealed, that I can see, that I don't have to wonder and wait. I don't have to wonder and wait. All that he does is by definition חסד. But do a חסד in such a way that I can see it, identify it, understand it right away, and not have to wait to figure it out. ובידיעה ברורה בהכרת החסד. ולא נצטרך להאמין שהוא חסד. Not in a way that I have to wait and wonder. Like so many emails I get. I read some this morning, and there's so many more, many of them revolving around שידוכים, about, 'I wait and I wonder and I long, and I don't know when, and I, I, I don't know where you are.' This week I wrote my article, I put it in the WhatsApp group, about the letter exchange that I shared with you before יום כיפור. I can't tell you the unbelievable reaction I've had from others who feel that way and are so grateful for license to feel that way at times and to use it to come closer, not to go further away. To use it to draw closer. But there are people who are in that position where they're looking and they're wondering where and how and how come, and why am I going through this and why am I still waiting? And that's a חסד because by definition, everything he does is חסד. But it's not חסדים טובים because it ain't טוב to be waiting and wondering and looking and it's not טובים. So what we ask for specifically is חסדים טובים. השם don't make me go through many job interviews and rejections and wondering if and when. Let me see right away why everything is good. Let it not be a mystery. Let it be revealed. That's the טייטש, that's the explanation of חסדים טובים, that I don't need להאמין שהוא חסד. I don't want to have to believe and have faith that somehow this waiting, this episode, this crisis is also חסד. Let me do it in a way that's revealed. כן, כמו שמצאנו. Oh. Oh, good. It's not mine. Like the רבי. Another reference to the רבי of the day. The חבר is reminding me. I like to say on ראש השנה, giving you a דבר תורה for next ראש השנה, mark it down. We wish one another a שנה טובה ומתוקה. 'Should have a good and sweet new year.' Why don't we just say, 'Have a good year'? If it's good, it's sweet. Why don't we just say wish everyone a שנה טובה? So the בבא סאלי said, שנה טובה. by definition it's טובה. כל מן דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד. The גמרא tells us, all that God does is by definition good. But good can also be painful. Good could be pleasurable or painful. Good could be enjoyable or it can hurt. Good you can see the good or you could wonder and wait. So we ask not only that it be good, which it is by definition, but it be good and sweet. A שנה טובה that's also מתוקה. That is beautiful. That's exactly what חסדים טובים. Let it be חסד, let the חסד pursue me and chase me, but the kind of חסד that I can see, and that's accessible and available, and that's exposed, not one that I need a leap of faith in. וכן יסוד באמרי נועם. And the אמרי נועם also says this, when I bring it says in his language. We're on the bottom paragraph on the right hand column, קכ״ו. Did you underline anything yet? Jump out at you? Write the English? Let's go. Break this binding, wear it out. פירוש על תפילה של רבי נחוניא, אנא בכח גדולת ימינך, תתיר צרורה. You recognize that? It's familiar? When do we say it? אנא בכח, some say it every morning. Some say it on Friday night before לכה דודי. Some sing it. Miami Boys Choir? אנא בכח? We'll put it in the group. We like to one of our missions is to understand the songs that we sing. It transforms it. Instead of just singing words, if you understand it. אנא בכח, Miami Boys Choir. היינו, so what does it mean? אנא בכח גדולת ימינך. כי כסבור מפי עליון לא תצא הרעות, וכל הדינים מלאים חסדים ורחמים פנימיותם. רק בהתגלות לעיני בשר נראים כאילו הם דינים, חס ושלום. Okay, maybe we'll start with this next time, but אנא בכח is referring to in this world, there's justice. God interacts with us sometimes in a way that feels harsh and strict justice. And there's loving kindness, there's חסד. In the world of Jewish mysticism, in קבלה, the right side always goes חסד, the left side is always דין. That's why we always show preference, precedence of the right over the left. The right over the left. Whether it's how you hold the לולב ואתרוג unless you're left-handed, put the תפילין on, there's all kinds of the right, we always show priority, preference to the right over the left because the right is חסד, the left is דין. חסידים button their shirt, their clothing buttons right over left. Not only חסידים, the biggest ליטבק puts on his קיטל on יום כיפור and buttons it right over left. Not because it's women's clothing, but because חסד over דין. The right hand over the left hand while you דאווען. חסד over דין. Physically the ספירות, חסד, דין, it's a lot, complicated. We'll pick up with it next time. It's the theme of אנא בכח. הקדוש ברוך הוא, you interact with us in so many ways. We דאווען and we ask that you interact with us in a way we see, we perceive, we know, we feel that it's all דין. בעזרת השם we'll pick up from here. Now, questions and answers. I sent out, you can direct message me if you don't want to raise your hand and awkward here. You could also submit it on our anonymous question system. If you have an anonymous question, a topic on anything for those listening online, we'll find you again next week. Be happy, stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy.
