Transcript
Okay good morning Boker tov and chodesh tov, a good chodesh, what better day to get restarted with living with amuna than on Rosh Chodesh, new beginnings, new month, a good yar, a gezinte vinter, every other Jewish greeting that we have, they're all so fantastic. I want to thank as we always do, begin with an attitude of gratitude, I want to thank our series sponsor for the amuna shiur Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of her mother Dr. Ellen Schanzer, we remain deeply grateful to the Morgans for their generosity and their support. Our series is now also sponsored anonymously in memory of 34 fallen soldiers and alumni of בני דוד מכינה ישיבה in Eli and each week we're going to highlight another Tzvika Lavi Hashem yikom damo, 30 years old was reserve combat officer in elite unit, a husband and father of three, brought good to the world, he was a social worker, always strived to see the good in every person, so we're grateful to that second series sponsor who's going to highlight another soldier each week and this morning's particular shiur is dedicated by Gabriel Kelesh to her amazing father on his 50th birthday. Happy birthday! 50 is the new 30. 50's very young. Her father, he should just know he's very young. Very young. Okay so it's great to be back together again, amuna shiur we've been living with amuna, put it into practice and play. I miss it when we don't learn when we're not together. I always tell you, this is essentially a support group for me and you're kind enough to come and listen and it means the world. So we're going to learn something new together, we finished the wonderful sefer of Rav David Abuhatzeira, which we didn't learn every chapter of but we happened to, the last thing we learned in the last chapter, Artscroll translated into English you could continue to read and learn it on your own, it is fantastic and he is fantastic but he has another sefer called Shaarei Tefilla. Rav David Abuhatzeira the great mekubal from Nahariya in the north of Israel. So Rav David Abuhatzeira has another sefer, דברי חיזוק שערי תפילה, it's all about prayer all about davening and it's also wonderful. So he has a chapter in here called Emuna uBitachon, davening for amuna and bitachon. So I thought this is a great new limud, a great new thing for us to learn while we're on a Rav David Abuhatzeira streak. He does an amazing job of compiling very diverse Torahs and sources and adding his own twist to it in a very in a very timely way, in a way that resonates. So I'm looking forward to learning it but we will begin as we always do with some emails that we've received over the last few weeks. Again, please continue to write, I read each and every one, they touch me and inspire me and many I'm able to share publicly and we get the feedback about the impact it has on others. So you may recall in the last living with amuna shiur which was erev Yom Kippur, it was class number 360, it was powerful for erev Yom Kippur, maybe I should have saved it because it was a kind of a crazy time and I think more people should hear it, but we read the letter of a man not to me but a letter that someone had written to Hashem about how he's done and finished and walking away and that he can't hurt or punish Hashem, the only thing he can make him do is feel like he has a he's a father who has a child who turned his back. We read that powerful letter and I shared with you my response to that author and later he disclosed himself, no longer anonymous and the continued conversation that please God I will have with him. So I received a beautiful email. Thank you again for the deep inspiring amuna shiur, truly enhances my relationship with Hashem. In erev Yom Kippur class you read a young man's letter to Hashem which was both devastating and moving. This may perhaps be out of balance, I'm merely a stranger who listens and is inspired, but I felt compelled to write a response to the author because I was deeply pained by this young man's suffering. If Rabbi Goldberg feels it appropriate or meaningful to share with him, that's wonderful. Otherwise my empathy and prayers for the individual will remain notwithstanding. So I want to share with you what this author wrote to share back to that young man and if you didn't listen it's the I think it's the last shiur, the most recent shiur, the one before Yom Kippur. To the author of the email. When Rabbi Goldberg read your email in the amuna shiur last week your words pierced my heart. I sat and cried for your searing pain and suffering. I don't have answers and I don't know why things happen to people but I do know one thing: you are truly extraordinary. How can you be anything but, if you faced challenge after challenge that could have knocked you down and you're still here standing? Beneath your painful yet powerful words clearly lies an even more powerful individual and soul. Your words reveal one who possesses incredible resilience, courage, sensitivity, determination, and truth, and I am confident that wherever you go in life you'll make a tremendous impact. The world is lucky to have you. I daven for your success and that you have the peace of mind and heart. With deep admiration, a fellow Jew who cares. I share that not because it's an amuna email in particular, but it's a Mi ke-amcha Yisrael email. One of the amazing things about our community, our movement, our shiur, our amuna family, is how often I read emails and then I get a flood of responses. She had tremendous Emunah but Shabbos was so painful and lonely that you can't imagine how many emails I got from people who said, I want to have her. She's invited. She should never be alone. Whenever she's available. So, and this email, someone who heard the shiur and didn't just continue cooking for Erev Yom Kippur, and didn't just move on with marking off the machzor, and didn't just move on with building the sukkah, but stopped and wrote an email and said, if you feel to communicate it. These are the Mi K'Amcha Yisrael emails. These are the emails about how special. So if you ever doubt our people, if you ever hesitate or pause about our perseverance and our future, just remember Mi K'Amcha Yisrael. How blessed and privileged and fortunate and lucky we all are to be part of the extraordinary, extraordinary, extraordinary people that we are, that we are part of. Okay, so from a very serious email to a not lighthearted or less serious, but a different tone. Hope you had a nice month of chagim. On Motzei Yom Kippur, our relatively new central AC stopped working. At first we were frustrated, it was only three months old and already breaking, but then said Baruch Hashem yesterday on Yom Kippur, when it was very hot, at least it was still working. Over Chol HaMoed Sukkos, we had a technician come, Dmitri. He was originally from Tajikistan, how bad did I pronounce that? Close enough. But made aliyah many years ago. This is someone living in Israel. He didn't look religious and was not wearing a kippa. I offered him a drink, he took it from me, put a hand over his bare head and made a bracha. We then offered him a cookie so he could make a bracha in the sukkah. And he said with a smile, I believe in Hashem, but I don't do all the actions. I thought it was such a wake-up moment and gives perspective for so many who are not yet religious and even for those who are. You can believe in Hashem and even make a bracha even if you're still not prepared to do all the mitzvos. And that's okay. It's a process, it's also not all or nothing. Recognizing Hashem is a huge first step. I also noticed something similar looking at the number of apartment sukkos built on balconies here, complete with walls, decorations and schach that are completely covered by a concrete balcony above them. Some might look at them and say, what's the point? It's not a kosher sukkah, there's a balcony on top of them. Any bracha said in that sukkah is a bracha l'vatala, a pasul sukkah. I look at these sukkos and say, how beautiful they want to sit in the sukkah and be close to Hashem, sit in His shade even if they don't fully yet know how. Later that day we had the Bezeq technician Yehuda come to fix the internet. And again he wasn't wearing a kippa. I also offered him a drink and again he put a hand over his bare head and made a bracha to which I said, Amen. Again we offered a cookie to make a bracha in the sukkah. Yehuda said he was really fine and the only reason he even took a drink was so that we could say Amen to his bracha. Mi K'Amcha Yisrael. So Mi K'Amcha Yisrael, right? This is Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, the Berditchever whose yahrtzeit is coming. The holy Berditchever would look and say, not look at those pasul sukkos, what pathetic Jews, they don't even know how to build a sukkah, you can't have a concrete balcony, say Hashem, look at your holy children that even when they can't see the sky they still want to build a holy sukkah. Look at these holy Jews, even when they don't wear a yarmulke they put their hand over their head only to make a bracha so we could answer Amen. Mi K'Amcha Yisrael. And if there's anything we learned since October 7th, and whether we're turning the corner or not, please God we are, we continue to daven the last 13 bodies should come home and the families should have closure and comfort. But the Ahavas Yisrael, the Mi K'Amcha Yisrael that we have to have. Don't judge a Jew wearing a yarmulke, not wearing a yarmulke, sitting in a pasul sukkah, a kosher sukkah. We have no idea what's in their heart, who they are, their background, what they struggle with. Just like the young man who wrote me that email, you have no idea what people have overcome, what they navigate and they're still here and they still show up. I told you that young man who wrote me that letter writing off God, I've never seen in my life a harsher rejection of the Almighty than that email, than that email. And then I saw him in shul davening all of Yom Kippur and the next morning with his tallis and tefillin. Like, what about the email? That was reminiscent, I don't remember if I said it last time, but Elie Wiesel has in one of his books when they put God on trial after the Holocaust. A group of survivors put Hashem on trial. The most powerful moment in that book is that the trial concludes and it finds God guilty. And then someone gives a clap and says, God is guilty but quickly, it's almost shkia, it's time for mincha. And that's the mentality of certain Jews who've had to survive certain things is to find God guilty and still daven mincha to him. Find God guilty, where were you, where are you, I rely on you, I depend on you, I need you. I have so many questions and I feel like turning my back and I find you guilty and then give a clap, it's almost shkia, nu, mincha. Mincha. And for some that's the Jewish way and I would argue in some ways that's the highest and the holiest, that's the most real. Because the people who are coasting through life they daven, their relationship with Hashem is not a roller coaster it has no ups and downs, then you have to wonder how real the relationship is altogether. There are marriage experts who will tell you that the couple who say, you know we've been married 70 years and we've never fought, we never disagreed, we never fought, we never had one difference. You get some award, I don't know which it is, but you wonder on the quality of that marriage because marriages if they're real and authentic, they have ups and downs and differences and you're navigating, and the same is the relationship with Hashem. And the question is you don't use those as a pretense or pretext to walk away, you use it to propel you to come closer even in those challenging moments. And the person who feels that pain and looks towards Hashem with it, looks towards Hashem with it. I think I told you also that the same week I got that email from that man, someone else told me in our shul whose mother is suffering terribly from Alzheimer's and father is her caretaker who didn't want to come to shul on Yom Kippur because he has real problems with God, why He would do this to him. And I said tell your father that he's not turning his back and failing in faith to Hashem, but the fact that he's so angry at Hashem means first of all that he believes in Hashem, that he believes Hashem is the reason his wife has dementia, he correlates what's happening in this world is coming from Hashem, and that he's disappointed in Hashem means he believes and thinks Hashem is in charge and in control of his life. That's what's called emuna. That's bitachon. And in many ways he has more emuna and bitachon than the person who's coasting and just all the lip service and saying all the right things but isn't really engaged. And he told me a few days later that gave his father enormous comfort and he decided he does want to lean in and connect to Hashem. And so I say this not because I don't want you to feel like you're a failure if you're good with Hashem and not angry at him. I'm not encouraging that some point today or over the next week, find a way to get angry or disappointed in Hashem. Chas v'shalom that is not what I'm saying at all please don't misunderstand or misrepresent. What I'm saying is if you're living life in such a way that you're finding sometimes in the struggle navigating, know that sometimes that search, that yearning, that guilty verdict, is an expression of emuna not a breakdown of it. Because if we realize, you know you're not disappointed in a figment of your imagination. You're not disappointed in an illusion. You're not disappointed in something made up or make believe. If you're disappointed it's evidence that you really believe, that you really believe. Okay, couple more emails and we'll get to our new limud. I recently started listening to your Living with Emuna shiur, it's really helped me. One of my favorite parts is listening to the stories in the beginning. So I thought I'd share a story that happened to me. A few weeks ago I was heading back to my seminary from a certain city I was for Shabbos. When I arrived at the central station in Yerushalayim, I had two options: take the light rail and walk around 15 minutes, or take a bus which would drop me off near the Kotel with only a short walk. Since I had a suitcase, I chose the bus, not realizing it would pass through Mea Shearim, which is packed on Motzei Shabbos. The bus ended up stuck there for about 30 minutes and with the curfew approaching, I decided to get off and find another way. I checked Moovit. Anyone here know what Moovit is? We're about to see the generation gap. What's Moovit, Esty? It's the worst. M-O-O-V-I-T. Moovit is like a way to navigate transportation, maps, all kinds of things. It led me to a bus stop that didn't exist. Oh my God. At that point I was stressed and confused, my phone battery was low and I had no idea where to go. I asked a woman for help and she pointed me to a place that made absolutely no sense at all. Here's the crazy part, in that random area where I never would have gone on my own, I saw a girl who looked like she knew where she was going. I asked her for help and she immediately showed me exactly where to go and told me to run to the bus stop. I caught the bus just in time. Only afterward did I realize that without that first woman sending me somewhere I thought was wrong, I never would have met the girl who helped me make it back. What felt like a stressful, confusing situation was Hashem guiding me every step of the way. It was a clear moment of Hashgacha Pratis. Unrelated, I also started listening to Six Minute Siddur snippets during my night seder. I'd been struggling to find something meaningful to do. I'd also been really struggling with my tefillah. Listening to the shiurim has inspired me. From the very first six minute shiur I've already written pages of notes and gained a deeper understanding of Modeh Ani. Thank you. We have other shiurim by the way other than Living with Emuna. So one of them is Six Minute Siddur snippets. We're up to number 670. We started at Modeh Ani and we're at the end of the Amida Shemoneh Esrei and we're going to go into the thousands because the siddur is endless, but I enjoy preparing and giving them and I'm glad somebody is finding meaning finding meaning in them. So many. Okay, one more. One more. I'm reaching out to share my thoughts on medical testing centers. I believe they are holy places, makom kadosh, because of all the prayer that happens there and is directed towards these centers. I've been sick for a while and my doctor wants to go for a specific test to an outpatient testing center. The only center that an appointment was available was Erev Yom Kippur. Now, not only was I preparing myself spiritually for Yom Kippur, I was now preparing physically for a physical test to, please God, pass Erev Yom Kippur. Prayer of asking forgiveness took on a whole new meaning while laying under the testing machine. It's only you with your thoughts, the machine and the technician in another room. When one is forced to lay there with your own thoughts, that's when the prayer begins. Please God, I'm sorry from the mistakes I made this year. Please Hashem give me another year to connect these mistakes, correct these mistakes. God thank you for giving me this past year, give me another year, return me to my full health or a refuah sheleimah speedy quick painless, make the scan show no issues in my body, allow my soul correction. The silence is deafening. The answer doesn't come right away. One needs to give up and give over, you are where you need to be, trust in the process, know that everything is for the best and that you have nothing but you, your thoughts and your prayers and accomplish your tasks with grace and humility. There's so much praying to Hashem in testing centers by those undergoing tests and by family members and friends waiting for the patient in the waiting room and those outside the testing center sending prayers towards the patient. It is truly a makom kadosh. If we as Jews prayed on Yom Kippur half as hard as even a quarter as hard as those undergoing testing or family members and friends, the world would be a better place. May you and your family have much nachas always, mazal tov on your son's bar mitzvah, simcha and health and happiness, one hundred and twenty and beyond. But it's a different approach. So if you're preparing to have to undergo that test and you have plenty of time to prepare in what is called and a name aptly so the waiting room. So while you are in the waiting room, it's called the waiting room for a reason, you will be there for a little while, we can change our perspective and our mentality. Why am I here? Woe is me. How long is this wait? I can't believe I have to lie in that MRI machine and it's claustrophobic and I can't breathe and how long will it take and the headache I'll get from it. Instead say I'm going into a makom kadosh. This is a place where there is authentic and genuine and true and real prayer. And therefore all I have is me and Him, and although there are so many barriers, there's so many distractions and there's so much noise, but I'm now in a place that none of that exists and embrace that place. And instead of being frustrated, we can embrace that place and be grateful to be there and turn it around to make it more of the best moment. Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay, there's so much, so many emails. Okay, we'll have to come back to them. Let's get started. Page kuf chaf hey in the Sefer Shaarei Tefillah, the wonderful book of Rav David Abuchatzeira. This is the same author, different sefer than what we were learning previously. And he says the following. כדי לבא למידת האמונה צריך סיוע מן השמים. In order to get to the middah of emunah, you need help from heaven. וצריך אדם לשפוך שיח ולהתפלל על כך תמיד שיעזרהו השם להשית בו יתברך מבטחו בכל תהלוכותיו בעולם. In order to arrive at emunah, you need help. Now this sounds very counterintuitive and it sounds incredibly paradoxical. In order to believe in Hashem, you need to pray to Hashem to successfully believe in Hashem. You understand the circular logic. To really live a life of emunah, to succeed in those sticky situations, to overcome those obstacles, to feel His presence and His guiding hand in our lives, to be able to truly embrace our place and know where we're meant to be, we need to daven that we're able to do it. Kemo she'amar David HaMelech alav hashalom השם רועי לא אחסר. Like David HaMelech, we sing it at seudah shlishit every week three times, David HaMelech Psalm twenty-three, Hashem ro'i, God is my shepherd, lo echsar, I lack and I miss for nothing. Says the Rebbe Hakadosh, Rabbi Mordechai MiNeshkhiz alav hashalom שביקש דוד המלך עליו השלום שלא תחסר לו ידיעה זו כי השם הוא רועי. השם רועי לא אחסר, translate the words, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack. Though I lie down in lush pastures and walk beside tranquil waters and blah blah blah. And I don't mean blah blah blah David HaMelech, please forgive me. I mean the translation, the translation. So, השם רועי לא אחסר. Hashem, You are my shepherd, lo echsar, because You are my shepherd You take care of everything I need. So even though there are things I want, but You provide everything I need. That's the teitsch, that is the simple, traditional, classic translation, Hashem ro'i, the Lord is my shepherd, lo echsar, I shall not lack. But quotes Rav David Abuchatzeira, this beautiful idea, that's not what it means. You know what it means? השם רועי לא אחסר. May I never lack knowing that Hashem ro'i. May I never be going life in such a way that I fail to remember You're my shepherd. May I never feel like I'm a sheep wandering, lost, abandoned, lonely, hungry, tired, thirsty, but let me always know Hashem ro'i, Hashem, You're my shepherd. You're my shepherd. The shepherd leads the flock, protects the flock, is responsible for the flock. Not only the flock as a whole, each and every little shippala. So Hashem Roi, Hashem you're my shepherd. I'm your little shippala, lo echsar, may I never lack, may I never stop, may I never fail to know that you are my shepherd, that you are my shepherd. Let me always remember. וכן זה פירוש הרב הקדוש רבי נחמן מענדלע מלינסק אביו של הרב הקדוש רבי נפתלי מרופשיץ שדוד המלך מתפלל שתמיד לא תחסר לו אמונה זו שהשם הוא הרועה אותו מעודו. V'zehu Hashem Roi. הידיעה הזאת לעולם לא אחסר. This knowledge. So when I get stuck in traffic, when I'm late for the plane, when EL AL, whatever reason decided to randomly change my flight so now I'm getting in really close to the simcha and I hope I make it, השם רועי לא אחסר. May I never lose my knowledge, my confidence, my clarity, may I never lose my mindfulness, my intention, my concentration that you're the shepherd. It's not EL AL who's making the schedule, it's you, you're my shepherd, you're the shepherd. May I never fail, because this is the struggle, chavra, this is the emunah struggle, and it's real. That we come together on Wednesday mornings or whenever you're listening to this and we walk away and we say I'm all in, emunah, I got the bumper sticker and the coaster and the mug and the sticker on the label and I'm all in, I'm all in, I'm all in. And then what happens? Then the rubber meets the road, then we find ourselves in a situation where it's hard. I was all in, but I just got back the lab report. I was all in, but I just missed the flight or the traffic. I was all in, but I thought this was the one and the person just broke up with me or I got a no for a prospective shidduch. I was all in, I was all in, but then I saw my neighbor has something that I want so badly and I've been waiting for and why do they have everything and why am I missing so much? I was all in, and then life. So the תפילה השם רועי לא אחסר is Hashem, don't only let me be all in right after the emunah shiur, but lo echsar, may I never be lacking wherever I go, whatever I'm doing, whatever life throws my way, Hashem Roi, that you are my shepherd. Let me have the confidence and the clarity, let me know that you're my shepherd, that you're my shepherd. Every now and then, every now and then it's bizarre, people stop me and they say could you give me a bracha? So I say ברכת הדיוט אל תהי קלה בעיניך. Don't reject the bracha of anybody. Birkas hedyot means we go to Rebbes, we go to great people, we go to great men and women and we get a bracha, but birkas hedyot, the average person, this goes back to what we started with, we have no idea what the average person is going through, what they're living, how much resilience, their faith, so don't minimize or dismiss the value and the efficacy of a bracha of an average person. So I say okay I'll give you a birkas hedyot, I'm a hedyot so I'll give you a birkas hedyot. So sometimes it's for a shidduch and the bracha I always give for a shidduch, of course you should find your beshert, but I say may you have clarity and confidence through the process. השם רועי לא אחסר. May through the process you never forget he's the shepherd. Don't ever forget he's the shadchan. So you thought this was the one and you can't believe that person didn't get back to you and you don't know what you should do next and you're waiting by that phone for it to ring, may you live with the clarity and the confidence that there is a shepherd and he has a match for every sheep. What's, what's the opposite of a sheep? They're all sheep, male and female sheep are all called sheep. A ewe? There's a ewe for every sheep, there's a sheep for every ewe, every pot has its cover. Okay we've got a new, don't forget to put this in the emunah shidduch series. There is a ewe for every sheep, a sheep for every ewe, a pot for every cover, a cover for every pot. That's השם רועי לא אחסר. Not just you're my shepherd so lo echsar I don't lack. No, I do lack. I do lack. I mean, a person with an empty bank account and an empty stomach, if you read Eliezer Abie's book or read the whole thing over Yom Tov about his four hundred plus days in captivity, you can't say lo echsar. You lack your freedom. They went down, these evil wicked captors, I hope they were already eliminated from this world, at one point they went down to giving one meal in every twenty-four hours and the meal was a stale pita. He said they lay there starving, starving, starving. You can't say lo echsar when your stomach is empty. It's empty. It's echsar. You can't say lo echsar when you don't have freedom, it's echsar, it's missing, it's lacking, you don't have it. So השם רועי לא אחסר doesn't mean you're my shepherd I lack for nothing. I lack. But you know what I never lack? That you're my shepherd and even while I'm lacking it's for a reason. Even what I'm going through it has meaning and purpose. Even what I'm going through it's not for nothing. Are you Are you watching these hostages that were released? These living, heroic hostages. Not everyone, but overwhelmingly, one by one. If it were me, maybe I'd get out, first thing I'd do is say Hashem, thanks but no thanks. I don't know where You've been, I don't know why You did that, I'm working on forgiving You but I'm not interested. How many? How many? Are there pictures, video, tallis, tefillin, shaking a lulav, sitting in a sukkah, putting on a kippah, making a bracha? It's unbelievable. Talking about through their experience they grew more connected, they became more religious, some cases took on greater observance. One of the hostages who was held all alone, it breaks your heart, you literally can't even read these these testimonies, described he was held all alone. So for a long time, for months, his best friend was a crack in the wall. He talked to a crack in the wall. There was a crack in the wall. He was moved to a new place and he talked to something that was something there that became his best friend. And then he was isolated alone in the dark and he had no one and nothing even to look at and his best friend became Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Is there a more hisbodedus, a higher more authentic holier conversation than someone held in captivity who says I had no one and nothing and not even to look at or to talk to and all there was was me and Hashem? Lo echsar. You could be missing food, sleep, freedom. You could be lacking and missing but Hashem ro'ee, as long as what you're not missing is that Hashem ro'ee. I've got this. You've got my back. There's meaning, there's purpose, this was choreographed, there's a reason. I don't know it, I won't discover it necessarily in this lifetime or in this world, but one day I know with confidence and clarity You're in charge. And so that's what it means: ה׳ רועי לא אחסר. Not You're the shepherd I don't lack. There are people who lack. They lack holding a little baby. They lack going home to a spouse. They lack knowing where their next meal is coming from. It's almost insensitive to say they don't lack. There are people who lack. It's hard and we have to acknowledge and we have to validate. It's hard. But even when they lack for things, they know they're not lacking for nothing. It's not random and chance, they're not victims, but it's all from above, it's all from Hashem. What they don't lack, what we daven we don't ever lack is that Hashem ro'ee. Lo echsar, may I never be missing that Hashem ro'ee. May I always have confidence and clarity that You're my shepherd and there's a ewe waiting for me, E-W-E, not not Y-O-U. E-W-E. E-W-E. E-W-E says my E-W-E. E-W-E. Hashem ro'ee, היינו ידיעה זו לעולם לא יחסר שלא תחסר ממנו האמונה בה׳ יתברך הרועה ומנהיג את האדם בכל דבריו, that I never be missing the emunah in Hashem Yisborach that He's the shepherd, He's in charge. You know, I don't know, I'm not a shepherd, I've never been a shepherd, I don't know that I've ever had a conversation with a shepherd. But my impression is that the shepherd doesn't deal with rebellion. There's not like one representative of the sheep who comes to the shepherd and says: Who are you to boss us around and tell us where to go? And I think we have an alternative plan. We need to graze in that field, not this field. We should go drink from that river, not from that lake. I say we rest now, we walk later. I don't know that there's a sheep that leads a rebellion and challenges the shepherd. You look at the shepherd, he's got the stick, he's wearing the robe, he's got the long hair and the beard and he's the one who tells you where to go. When he says jump you say how high. Why? Because you know he's got your back. His job is to keep the shepherd the sheep safe. That's his whole job. The shepherd leads the sheep, protects them from the other animals, makes sure that they have what they need, that they eat and they sleep. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, we're not leading a rebellion, we're not challenging You, we're not asking You to do it a different way. We're here to follow You in whatever You tell us. And what's the shepherd's job by the way? Just to continue this analogy. What happens to a little sheep or ewe who loses their way and goes off and veers off the path? I was once in Israel on a hike. It was a small mishlachat of men we took years and years and years ago. I don't know, it's gotta be 15 years old. 15 years ago. And we were on a hike and we were walking and we taka passed a flock of sheep being led by a shepherd grazing and there was like a sheep that was like straggling behind, falling behind. And I was walking with a person. We were the end of the group because he was falling behind. And we had a whole conversation about what happens to the sheep. What happens to the sheep who says: I know we have a herd mentality, it's called that for a reason, everyone's falling in line, everyone's walking in the same path, everyone's going in the same direction, except for those who aren't. What happens in our world for the sheep who says: Oh, everyone's going that way? But I'm really curious what's going on over there. I really want to try what's going on over there. I'm not interested in conforming and blending in. I don't want to do what all the other sheep are doing. I don't want to walk the same way. I want to go a different direction. How does the shepherd continue to lead the herd while also caring for the little sheepeleh that's falling behind, that's straying, that's tired, that's exhausted, that's curious? What do we do for the sheep that are not on the derech, on the path, that are looking to go on their own path? But we all still need to go in the same direction. How do we do that? It's an interesting question and it continues in this metaphor that Hashem is our ro'eh lo echsar, we never lack it. I have to repeat it. I told it before. I first heard it from my rebbe Rav Moshe Weinberger, who I believe said that he first saw it in a Reader's Digest his daughter gave him. Now you can find the story online if you Google it, you see it everywhere. Of the famous poetry contest. Do you remember this story? Rav Weinberger's fond of telling it and I've said it many times in his name, but I have to. It almost says it between the lines over here of David Abuhatzeira, tell the story from Rav Moshe Weinberger. It almost says it over here. If you've heard it before, chazara is good, if you never did, it's a brilliant, beautiful illustration of this idea of the poetry reading contest held one day where there were people who practiced for months and they gave their names, they submitted entry into this contest of which there would be a big award and a great prize for the one who would win. And each took from the great poets of history to read their selection, their poem. And it was all set up with pageantry, a judges' table, all the contestants were lined up, an enormous audience, it was broadcast live on TV. And one by one all the contestants came, took the microphone, and dramatically read their poem, dramatically read their poem. And towards the end of the contest, an old man came in. And he walked up to the judges' table and he said, I didn't enter, I didn't know where or how, I hadn't heard about it until today, but if it's okay, I'd like to compete, I'd like to read a poem. Can I join? And nobody had the heart to say no, so to humor this old man, who didn't think had a chance, they said, Sure, take the microphone. And he took the microphone and they asked him, What will you be reading? And he said, Psalm 23 of King David's Psalms, תהילים קפיטל כ"ג. And he stood up and he said, A psalm to David, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack, though I lie down in lush pastures, walk beside tranquil waters, God walks with me, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and he read the whole poem. The other contestants went, the judges sat, and they deliberated, and it was time to announce the winner. And they came back and they announced, the winner was none other than this old man, the last entry! And they gave him his award and everybody celebrated. And one of the other contestants came up to him and he said, I don't understand. You walked up last minute and you read it without any practice or preparation. And you read the same thing I read. I also submitted Psalm 23. How is it that you won and I have a coach and a trainer and I practiced and I carbed up for it and I was ready? How is it that you won? And listen to what the old man said. He said, You read a poem about a shepherd. I know the shepherd. I have a relationship with the shepherd. I'm one of the sheep that's led by the shepherd. So the question that we have to ask ourselves is, do we read about a shepherd or are we one of the sheep? Do we know the shepherd? That's what living with emunah is all about. Living with emunah is our effort and exercise, it is our daily, sometimes grind, always privilege, to know the shepherd. And that's this tfila, ה' רועי לא אחסר. May I never be missing or lacking in the knowledge that he's the shepherd and I'm a sheep. He's the shepherd and I'm a sheep. That angry letter from that young man, the response, the pain we sometimes feel is, I'm still your sheep, I'm coming to shul anyway, and I'm gonna fall in line and I'm going with the flock. But you're my shepherd! You're my shepherd, why am I hungry or tired? You're my shepherd, why aren't you protecting me? You're my shepherd, where's my ewe? You're my shepherd, where's my new little baby sheep? You're my shepherd! And that is a statement of emunah, cause the other person, they're still busy, which is again why don't judge. You have no idea who you're standing davening next to. While you're still just reading about a shepherd, they're busy pouring their eyes out and screaming at their shepherd. You have no idea. You might only be reading about the shepherd and they're pouring their heart out to their shepherd who they know and have a relationship with. אדאתינא להכי פירוש בנו בהזרע קודש. So he quoted Rav Menachem Mendel of Linsk, his son the holy Ropschitzer, the Zera Kodesh. His son the holy... Yitzchak and Rivka, they're barren, they're infertile, they're struggling, among the most painful things in the world. So painful that our rabbis say somebody who's waiting and longing and hoping and yearning, it's a taste of death. A person feels their mortality because they're waiting for that continuity, the blessing of having a child. So Yitzchak, translate the word vayetar, translate the word vayetar. What does it mean? Daven. What else means daven? We have at least thirteen synonyms, many more for the word daven. Why vayetar? We learned, there's a whole series you can find it online. I don't think we turned it into a podcast. We should put it all up on a podcast platform. But we learned the entire Sefer Sha'arim B'Tefillah, Rav Pinkus zatzal. Pinkus has a magnificent sefer, one of my favorite. It's called Sha'arim B'Tefillah. There's a Midrash Yalkut Shimoni, there's thirteen synonyms for tefillah. Rina, bitzur, zaka, tza'aka, pilel, iter, there are thirteen synonyms, thirteen separate words that are used in the Torah for the experience of talking to God. And in the Hebrew language we don't have synonyms. If there are different words that describe the same thing, it's because they each have a different nuanced meaning. So he has this wonderful book, which I believe was translated into English as well by Feldheim, is a chapter for every word to explain that form of prayer. Just as an example, go to a hospital. You can't tell me that the prayer next to the deathbed in the ICU is the same prayer next to the maternity ward of the mother holding her new baby. They're both saying Kapitel Chaf Gimmel. They're both saying Tehillim, they're both open the siddur, but it's a very different prayer. It's a very different prayer. The Tehillim we said for two years, Hashem bring the hostages home, were different than what we said Shmini Atzeres night we got together as a community with hopefully the same if not more intensity to say Tehillim to thank you Hashem for having heard our prayers and continue to hear them. So thirteen synonyms, thirteen prakim, thirteen different descriptions, thirteen experiences of tefillah. And one of them is vayetar. So it's not accurate to only answer what does the word vayetar mean? To daven. It means an intense form of tefillah. The Gemara in Sukkah understands it to mean from ayin, taf, resh is a pitchfork. Just like the pitchfork turns over the hay, our prayer turns over Hashem's decision. You decided this, can we get you to rethink it? Can we get you to reverse it? Possibly. Hashem. Vayetar. שכל ימיו יצחק מתפלל להשם. Until now, every day of his life Yitzchak was davening to Hashem. Uma hay'sa tfillaso? And what was his tefillah? How do you understand this pasuk? ויעתר יצחק להשם לנוכח אשתו. So the simple teitch, the simple understanding of this pasuk means if you've got Yitzchak and you've got Rivka, and they're barren. And Rivka is saying to Yitzchak: "What was me and where are you and why don't we have a child and what's going to be and I can't take this anymore." So what does Yitzchak do? He says: "I'm going to daven very hard. I'm going to daven very hard." Whose tefillah's higher, Yitzchak's or Rivka's? Chazal tell us Yitzchak's. Why? Because greater is the tefillah of a tzaddik ben tzaddik than a tzaddik ben rasha. Greater is the prayer of a righteous, the child of a righteous, than of the righteous, the child of the wicked. So Yitzchak's father is, Yitzchak grows up in the home of Avraham and Sarah. He's got enormous, tremendous role models. Rivka grows up in the home of Besuel, she's got a brother Lavan, she's growing up in the most wicked, evil, nefarious, lowlife, corrupt home. Whose prayer is higher? Whose ascends faster? Yitzchak. Does that make sense to you? I would have thought the opposite, right? Rivka, look at the influence in her life and yet she became Rivka. Yitzchak, he's supposed to become Yitzchak, look at Avraham and Sarah. You know what the answer is? It's a very penetrating insight. It's a powerful insight. The answer is that if you grow up in the home of a rasha, when you see wickedness, you should hopefully be repulsed by it. You should be repelled by it. It's easy to know that's wrong and therefore I want to become more righteous. But when you grow up in the home of an Avraham and a Sarah, and now those are the expectations of you, and everyone's you grow up in the home of the Gadol Hador, there's a reason, there's something called the rabbi's child syndrome. There's a reason לא עלינו חס ושלום but many, too many rabbi's children, or among the rabbi's children is someone who says: "All the eyes were on me, the expectations of me, the pressure on me." forget about it. I don't even want to try, instead I'm going to walk away. It's unfortunate and it's sad and it's real. So whose tefilla is higher that Yitzchak could be as great as Yitzchak was despite having grown up in the home and the pressure and the expectation of Avraham and Sarah, his tefilla is higher even than Rivka's. Very interesting insight that's a preview for the parsha a couple weeks from now. So the simple understanding is that Yitzchak is davening lenochach ishto. What does lenochach mean? The word lenochach means opposite or across. So the simple understanding of the pasuk is it's painting an image of what the room looked like. Rivka is in that corner, she's pouring her heart over her tehillim. And Yitzchak goes to that corner, he's got his shtender opposite his wife, he's looking at her and he's saying Hashem, my poor wife, she deserves, she needs. Now why isn't Yitzchak davening as hard for himself as he is for her? Because Yitzchak is promised he's going to have a child. So he's no doubt. Hashem said to Yitzchak, it's going to go through you. It came from Avraham, it's going to go through you, you're good to go. But he looks up at his father, and Avraham, Sarah at first didn't have children. Who did Avraham have his first child through? Hagar. So Yitzchak says I'm good to go. I don't know if it'll be through this one, or maybe Hashem's going to send me another one, but I'm going to be good to go. So Rivka says good for you, buddy. Good for you, my sheep. But your you has no idea where she's going to get her child from. So he's davening lenochach ishto in the other corner opposite her. But says the Ropshitzer the Zera Kodesh, Rav Naftali of Ropshitz, all of his life he's davening and what was he davening? Hashem lenochach ishto. Ishto, hi knesset Yisrael. ועל דבר זה ביקש יצחק אבינו שיהיה השם תמיד לנוכח עיני כנסת ישראל. What he's davening is Hashem lenochach ishto. You know what his tefilla was? First we'll say it's specifically about Rivka, then we'll zoom out collectively about all of us. Yitzchak is saying Hashem, I know you've got a masterpiece plan, and I don't know what it is. And if you could accelerate it, that'd be really great. But you know what my real tefilla is? Hashem, please help that my wife never give up on you. Please help her never be lacking in knowing you're her shepherd. Please help her see with clarity and confidence that all you do is for a plan. What he was davening for was that Hashem is nochach ishto. Not, not vayetar Yitzchak l'Hashem where lenochach ishto, but vayetar Yitzchak and what was his tefilla? Hashem is lenochach ishto. What a vort, no? What a beautiful insight by the Zera Kodesh. And it's also I think a blueprint for where we can daven for one another. Sometimes we're going through something with a spouse, and unfortunately, tragically, often when there's a crisis it can bring a couple closer or drive a wedge between them. Tragically. How they navigate it could bring them closer or if they experience it and respond and react differently, unfortunately, tragically, can drive them apart. So people go through things differently. And one of the things to daven as we go through it is, maybe Hashem I see you and I feel you and I know you're in charge, and as painful as this is and as much as I want you to resolve it, I know you're in charge. I surrender to you. But my spouse, or my child, or my friend, they're wavering, and they don't see you, and they could be walking away, and I don't want them to give up on you. So I'm davening to you that they continue to believe in you. Please Hashem, help them continue to see you, believe in you, surrender to you, know that you're the shepherd, that you're in charge, that you're in control. So what we've started and what we've seen is Rav David Abuhatzeira is opening our eyes to the idea that it's not that you have emuna as a prerequisite to daven, and then we daven for the things that we need. And what are the things that we need in gashmius? What is tefilla for? It's for physical things. Hashem give me a home and a car and a livelihood, give me health and a spouse and a child. Give me the things that I need. Give me candy baskets and welcome gifts and a drasha and a speech and the yarmulke and the tallis. Hashem give me the things I need. No, it's not that emuna's the prerequisite to prayer, and then prayer is for the physical things I need. No. Is that prayer is to ask for emuna. And when I have emuna, then I'll be confident that whatever I have is what I need. That even when I'm lacking, you're in charge and you're in control and you're the shepherd. So the tefilla that we have, our tefilla is for emuna. Of all of the things that we ask for don't forget to ask for a relationship with him. So when people come to me and they say, I'm struggling, I'm wavering, I don't see him, I don't feel him, I'm not connected right now. First thing I say is, daven for it. They say, Rabbi maybe you're hard of hearing, maybe there's a problem because you're over fifty now. But what I said to you is that I don't feel him or see him, I don't feel connected with him. So yeah, yeah, you should daven for that. Say, Rabbi, when's the last time you had a physical? Are you, are you... can you not hear me? What I said is I'm struggling. I hear you loud and clear. And part of the way out and the way back is to ask him for help, to have that clarity and confidence. It's counter-intuitive. Chalila one has a child or grandchild, a friend or a neighbor, who's struggling in their relationship with Hashem. Among the things to daven for is daven that they have emunah. ה׳ רועי לא אחסר. May we never be missing or lacking in knowing that you're the shepherd. And by the way, we need an educational system that doesn't just talk about the shepherd, but that builds a relationship with the shepherd. We need a community, I'll put the pressure on the shul as well. We need a community and rabbis and rebbetzins and teachers and parents who don't just talk about the shepherd, who are really good talking about the shepherd. We talk a lot about the shepherd. The shepherd told us about thirty-nine melachos that we memorize and the shepherd, you know, has stories of Navi and the shepherd has halachos and the shepherd has blessings we have to say to him. We talk a lot about the shepherd, but do we demonstrate a model, a relationship with the shepherd? Do we define our life, do we talk to the shepherd, do we demonstrate to our children that we hear the shepherd talking to us? Do we show that we're led by the shepherd? Do we live with clarity and confidence in the shepherd? Those are all the questions to ask ourselves and that's our tefillah. Hashem roi, that you're my shepherd, lo echsar, may I never be lacking. And that's what Yitzchak davened. It's not ויעתר לה׳ יצחק לה׳, Yitzchak davened to Hashem where? Lenochach ishto. She was in this corner, he was in that corner. No, it's Vaye'etar Yitzchak, Vaye'etar Yitzchak kama, and what was the tefillah? Hashem nochach ishto. May Rivka never give up hope in you, may she always have clarity and confidence in you, may she never be lacking that you are the shepherd. Im yirtzeh Hashem, we'll pick up with this next week. We have now fifteen minutes of question and answer. I hope you've been thinking: hashkafa, halacha, sensitive, controversial, any topic in the world. This is a way of getting people to come in person. We're turning off the stream, turning off the recording. We love all those who are listening, but there's a reward if you come in person, not just the coffee and slushie.
