Transcript
Good morning Boker Tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna. So glad and grateful to be back together today. A reminder that we're going away again so we're taking another little break. We'll resume again the end of August and from there, please God, continue straight. I want to thank our generous Emuna series sponsors, our dear friends Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut. Brian's Yahrtzeit, ברוך צבי בן ראובן נתן, his Yahrtzeit is coming up on Shabbos. It's hard to believe how many years he is gone, he continues to inspire and influence us every day, someone who remains a real model of living with Emuna. Also sponsored in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Chanzer, and in honor of our holy soldiers, they should be safe and may the hostages come home. And we lost our camera. We lost the camera. Okay, Hashem, yeah, that could be. Oh, there we go. A little bit back. Okay, sorry, okay, technology all Hashem. Today's Shiur sponsored as well by Sara and Shlomo Abraham on the 18th Yahrtzeit of גיטל חוה בת מנחם מנדל, Mrs. Judy Faglin. She would have enjoyed this Shiur, happy to hear that, her Neshamah should have an Aliya. And by Linda Keen, Andrea Keen, Ari and Lisa Keen, Wilson J. Keen, Bezalel and Chana Rotstein, Eric and Nava Keen, and Effie and Melissa Strazinski in commemoration of their husband and father Akiva Keen ahead of his Shloshim. A big loss for the whole family and for Klal Yisrael, tremendous Ba'al Chesed and a very special person and a family that lived with Emuna through the end of his life and his illness and we interacted in that way and it really inspired me. That Emuna should have tremendous strength and Nechama. As we always do, we're going to begin with some emails then we'll dive into our new text and learn together what I'm excited to share with you. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, it was very hard over the last couple weeks while I took off, while we were off. A lot of emails came in and I know that everyone who writes them pours their heart and soul into them. And I want to read, I personally read each and every one and I personally respond to each and every one and each and every one personally inspires me. Unfortunately, it's hard to be able to read each one, but please keep writing them. Not only because it helps me and those that I share help all of us, but I can't encourage you strongly enough, the exercise of writing out your Emuna moment, even if you never send it to anyone, if it remains in the draft of your email, if you just send it to your family, if you have a family Hashgacha Pratis WhatsApp group, and I'm proud to say ours is still going strong. That it's still, the process, the exercise of doing it only helps you. He'emanti Ki Adaber, as we've said so many times, Emuna grows when we speak about Emuna, so when you write and put it to words, when you capture your story, that exercise itself is powerful. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, I've recently begun listening to the Emuna Shiur and I find it helpful. This morning I was listening to the Shiur from last week or two weeks ago where a woman emailed you about getting into a car accident. You may remember at the last Shiur we talked about someone who was in a car accident who had witnessed a worse one that morning and that gave perspective that the car accident that afternoon, while ordinarily would have been so upset about it, gave perspective that was just grateful to be alive and thank God it wasn't worse. So this person writes, as I was literally listening to her words I was hit from behind by a car. As I pulled over to the side, she was speaking about the gratitude she felt that it could have been worse. Fortunately, the damage to my car was not significant, though when I go to the mechanic tomorrow I am sure he will find more things wrong with the car than I think. I had this woman's words in my mind when I spoke to the person who unfortunately did not speak English and related to me in Spanish that he did not have insurance. So yes, I will have to spend money out of my family's pocket to fix the car, but I did not let this accident ruin my day because I know in the bigger scheme of things it is a minor blip. That said, it would have been fine if Hashem did not have any other accidents in mind for me in the future, wishing you all the best. So again, I love how the right episode comes on for the right person at the right moment in the right time, and listening while literally in an accident, that helps a person in that moment conquer and manage to not lose cool, to not get angry, to not get resentful, to not lose oneself but to realize how we embrace our place. Everything is from Hashem and it's amazing. Another follow-up email and I'm really excited to share with you this one. Someone had emailed me, let's see the timeline, June 2024, a year ago. You always say Emuna emails that do not have a happy ending are your favorite ones, and that inspired me to write today. I don't have an inspirational story to share, I have some very raw emotions coming from a girl who feels hurt, but knows that Hashem is orchestrating everything hopefully. I've been in Shidduchim for a number of years, everything gets harder and more painful. It's torture to be in society that labels negative stereotypes, older girls, it's a long email. And it's all about the misery and the pain and the loneliness and sense of abandonment and where is Hashem, and I don't know why he's putting me through this. I try to smile, hold my head high, I know that Hashem is doing this for my good. As you said in the Shiur today, Hashem is going to heal all of us spiritually and so on. I hope to write one day that Hashem is doing this well for me and I see him in my life. That was a year ago. I want to share that Baruch Hashem I got engaged last night. And I became a kallah. I am so, so, so—three sos—I am so, so, so happy and grateful to Hashem that my chosson is more incredible than I ever could have imagined or dreamed. Hashem really is awesome and He had a master plan all along. I’ve gained and grown a lot from my single years and so much of my growth is thanks to living with Emuna Shiurim. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May Hashem bentch you to continue to have the strength to give the Emuna Shiur in the beautiful way you do. Thank you, Rabbi Goldberg. And there must have been dust in the email because it’s very dusty in here. But what a—I love that she wrote this email not as a new email, but it was a reply to our previous correspondence that included that email from a year ago. Because so badly I want to tell people or publish this to remind everyone that we could write that email that I'm alone and where is He and what's the plan and why is He doing this to He's amazing. Hashem is awesome. And I learned so much and I grew so much and I see why I needed to go through it and it was well worth it when I look back at the payoff of where I am today. And not all of us can and not all of us do and sometimes it's one year later, sometimes it's a decade later, sometimes it's a lifetime later and sometimes there are questions or thinks or hopes or wishes or wants that we don't ever get to write the second email that Baruch Hashem now it came through. But don't get in Hashem's way, He has a plan and lean into that process and savor the journey not only the destination because as we go through it we learn. We shared, we put out these daily reels of little clips from our shiurim and there was a little clip and a micro from one of our Emuna Shiurim where I talked about failing forward, the Thomas Edison, the light bulb, that it's not many ways that we fail, but see it as all steps in the journey towards success. And that all those dates and all that waiting and all that longing and all that initiative and all that world of shidduchim are not wasted time and energy and emotion and makeup or money, but they're all a journey to learning about oneself and getting one step closer to where one wants to be. And if only, if only we had the crystal ball, if only we could fast forward, if only we could see the letter that we're one day going to write at the end, we'd have so much more strength to be able to get through that journey. So sometimes we need to write that letter even though it hasn't happened yet. We have to write the follow-up to remind us and give us strength and help us get through where we need to go. But a big Mazel Tov to the author of that email and I'm so grateful and happy she followed up. I'll tell you as a Rabbi in general, forget living with Emuna, just as a Rabbi in general, I can't tell you how often people come with their problems and when things work out or the good news, they forget to tell you. They left you off with we're getting divorced, family's falling apart, we can't stand each other, this is probably the divorce and end of our marriage. We have fertility struggles, we can't get pregnant. I have no money, I can't pay my bills. That's where they leave you off and then the name is in your siddur, in your Tehillim, in your davening, you go around to the Tzaddikim. They forget the P.S. by the way I won the lottery, by the way we have the happiest marriage ever, by the way I had quintuplets, by the way. They forget that. So those emails I really mean, they mean a lot to me and I'm grateful for it. Two more emails and I loved these emails. They came as big surprises. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, my name is such and such and I'm from such and such a place. This past Friday afternoon I was sitting in a restaurant in Budapest. That's the inappropriate incorrect way to pronounce it. Now as an expert I'll tell you it's Budapesht. And did you know they were two halves of a city, Buda and Pesht? And only with the bridge and when they came together and united but anyway I happen to be an expert at least for the next 20 minutes on Budapesht from our trip there. I was sitting in a restaurant in Budapesht with friends when you and your wife walked in. I had a whole internal debate on whether to disturb you but I couldn't let the moment pass without saying thank you. What I didn't get to explain was why that moment left me so stunned. As you now know, Yocheved and I spent a very, very, very meaningful and I'm so tempted because I have so much to share and it was filled with the most extraordinary Hashgacha Pratis moments. Before the trip, on the trip, after the trip, which would blow you away, we're still processing. But we went to Hungary and Ukraine to visit Kivrei Avos, Kivrei Tzaddikim. We went to the graves of her great-great-grandparents, her great-grandmother. We were able to discover and go back to a home in Bushtyna in the Ukraine of her family. How we found it, how it worked out, what happened, I'll just tease you by telling you it was unbelievable and extraordinary and you wouldn't believe it what it took and how it happened. And we ended up in Budapest for a shabbos and we toured Budapest and we were in this restaurant and this young lady was with a group of young ladies at the end of her meal just came and said, "Hi, Rabbi Goldberg, I listen to the Emuna Shiur, thank you." Very humbled and honored I said I appreciate it. Have a great day went our way and then I got this email. A while ago a friend recommended your Emuna shiurim to me. I'd been telling her that I needed to strengthen my Emuna that everything would be okay. I usually struggle to concentrate on shiurim without visuals, but I gave it a try and made it my Thursday morning routine and I've been gaining so much from your words of wisdom. Since then my life has been full of ups and downs. There were moments where things got painfully hard. A job I was counting on fell through and I felt purposeless, as well as other personal situations left me feeling lost and overwhelmed. Often I would daven to Hashem begging him with, give me reassurance that everything would be okay and guide me through what I was expecting. More than once I would daven about something specific and that same week you'd mention that topic in your shiur and honestly felt like the biggest hug and wink from Hashem. But in the past few weeks everything became too much and I completely stopped listening. I fell behind and when Thursday morning came that day, I had fully given up on continuing. I had decided I was done with living with Emuna shiur. Then in the middle of Budapest you walked into the restaurant where I was sitting. I was speechless. What are the chances I was only in Budapest the same weekend as you and your wife, but the same restaurant at the same time? It felt like Hashem was saying, cute, you think you're finished, huh? But no, that's not happening. I can honestly say the shiurim have been a lifeline, don't worry, im yirtzeh Hashem will continue listening. If I ever try to give up again I suppose Hashem will just send you to wherever I am as a reminder. Please let me know where you'd like to go and I'll coordinate with him. Give up somewhere near Aruba. No. Anyway, in all seriousness, thank you, shiurim have guided me in moments of uncertainty. Even sharing the story with my friends afterwards made me realize how many lives have been touched, yadda yadda yadda, with heartfelt thanks. So you can imagine, you know again, you are where you're meant to be. And we were meant to be in Budapest, not pashut, a trip that was planned and as I said, it's taken me every ounce of self-strength not to spend the whole rest of the shiur telling you unbelievable stories, but we were meant to be in Budapest. But you know you might be surprised to know that Budapest has maybe 60,000 Jews living there today, of which maybe there are 50 who are Shomer Shabbos. Very few. And yet, has several kosher restaurants, lots of tourists who come through. And why were we at that restaurant that day of all those that we could choose to go from? And it was milchigs. So what bet did I lose? What Shalom Bayis exercise that I have to practice? Why was it? It was breakfast time, that's why I'm exaggerating. It was breakfast I had to. But why was I meant to be, why was I meant to be there? So what an unbelievable. Okay, one more email and you'll see why I'm sharing this one too. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I'm a long-standing listener to your podcast, Living with Emuna. I'm sorry for those watching that we're having the camera problems today. I don't know why Hashem has chosen for it to keep going in and out. Sorry. I'm a long-standing listener to your podcast, Living with Emuna. I try to incorporate your lessons into the small and large things in my life and it truly changed me. This past week I went on vacation with my husband to celebrate a big milestone. The trip was in the planning for months, working out dates, childcare, itinerary. We only had Sunday to Friday because we wanted to be home with our kids for Shabbos. We had to bring our new one-year-old with us for various reasons, which wasn't ideal for a far getaway, but it was what we needed in order to be able to get into this stage of our lives. Our plan was to fly into Italy. Hold on, I'm just trying to fix this. I love you, Hashem. Okay, maybe. Our plan was to fly into Italy and fly out of Zurich, go through different cities all in four days. Our itinerary was packed and every hour we were there it made a difference. On July 13th we settled our other kids and left to the airport. On the way to the airport, an hour and a half drive from our house, our flight got canceled, no explanation. We tried calling the airline, no answer. We end up calling our credit card company who helped us get on a different flight. We ran through the airport to catch the flight we just made. We sat down, caught our breath, and after several minutes they announced the flight is delayed an hour because they had to remove someone from the airplane. No, it wasn't me, if that's what you think the punchline of the story is. Now, because they delayed our flight an hour, we missed our connecting flight from Zurich to Milan and had to wait in the airport for an extra four hours. Not having slept on the airplane, we also didn't have kosher food since they rebooked our flight. Also, we were only spending 24 hours in Milan, so cutting out four hours was a huge part of our time there. Everything seemed to be going against us and not working out. I kept telling myself, embrace your place, and it really grounded me. In the whole scheme of things it wasn't a big deal, but we worked so hard to plan this vacation, there were so many details that had to be worked out. When all those things kept happening it was so hard not to get frustrated. I kept repeating, and to my husband, embrace our place. We were in the Zurich airport, catching our connecting flight, and I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw you there. Or someone who looked just like you if I'm wrong. I was about to go up to tell you how much you helped me, but the doors to the airport train opened and you left. I couldn't believe it. I kept thinking about your lessons and the mantras all day and then I saw you in the totally foreign country in Zurich airport. It was a wink from Hashem. Thank you for your shiurim and all that you do to inspire Klall Yisrael. There are several lessons from the story, one of which is I clearly... really need to always be on my best behavior wherever I am because you never know exactly, exactly who's watching, so what I'm wearing and how I'm behaving and what's going on around. Obviously, I have to be on my best behavior. I really, I am so humbled and grateful for this gift and this opportunity and this bracha and this community and the people who take the time to write, and these winks and nods for Hashem are not just for the people but they're for me. That, that feedback to be in Budapest, to happen to be in Zurich and on that train in that moment and not a minute earlier and not the one two minutes later, but the person who had to navigate all this and was feeling frustrated to see and to reinforce that we embrace our place and we are where we're meant to be, and in that moment and to, it's all, it's all unbelievable. I had to, you know, we made and you can still get the car decals and we made the stickers for the back of the phone and we made the luggage tag, embrace your place and you are where you're meant to be, אכן יש השם במקום הזה. So I am the worst person at choosing lines. Hashem has given me a gift of several strengths; He also has given me many more weaknesses and one of them is whatever line you saw I chose, go on the other one. I guarantee you, guarantee you, TSA, passport control, checking out at Publix, whatever line I chose, so much so I'm in my own head now because when I say go on that line then I think no, no, no, if I want to go on that line I should go on that line, no, but maybe that means that now I'm going to go on that line I should go on that line, whatever you see me. So we are flying through Zurich airport and I consulted but I chose, we went the wrong line and all the other lines are moving and we're not and I'm beginning to lose my, even though we had plenty of time and it was all good, but I don't do well with lines, I'm working on patience, but Yocheved pointed to the luggage tag on my briefcase, embrace your place, you are where you're meant to be and that's why we made them. You think we made them for you? Made them for me. I'm not only the president, I'm also a member. And so wherever we are, obviously so many airport stories, but embrace your place. If you're on the wrong line it's because you're meant to be there, you're meant to meet somebody and that's the way it's meant to go. We had to cross into Ukraine by foot, we weren't anywhere near the war, especially Mom if you're listening, but we weren't anywhere near the war. The distance from the western part of Ukraine from Hungary that we went into to the war is the distance from New York to Florida. We were just fine, we didn't hear any boom, there was nothing, but you had to cross over by foot and there was this Hungarian customs agent who spoke English who was really excited and happy to engage us and told me all about the American English podcasts he loves listening to and then asked who do you know and we had a whole conversation, let's just say by the end he subscribed to Living with Emuna because he's religious, he's Catholic, but he loves to listen to, so anyway we have a if he's listening, our friend, our friend, we have a pictures with him, but the Hungarian customs agent, anyway, it was funny because he let us through and as we're walking through and he starts calling after us, stop, wait, and we're thinking and especially in those countries like uh-oh. And then he says I need to get your email address. Anyway, so wherever you are embrace it, you chose that line at customs it was to meet that person, you get stuck on this line it's for that reason, you're on that train, you're in that restaurant, always embrace your place, Hashem always has a plan. We are in the month of Av, Chodesh Av, on the cusp, on the brink of Tisha B'Av, a very painful difficult day. We long and we daven that come this Motzei Shabbos and Sunday, instead of sitting on the floor with a box of tissues crying not only for the calamities of the past but the horrific tragedies of the present, Eicha yashva badad, the Jewish people again feel so alone in the world. You know you can send a thank you note to the prime ministers of France and England for again making the Jew, the words of Eicha come true and jump off the page, how the Jewish people, the Jewish state is again alone in the world, misunderstood. It's mind-boggling. And we hope and we pray that we won't be sitting on the floor, we'll be welcoming Moshiach and singing and dancing together in Yerushalayim, giving out Emuna stickers and decals, posting them all over the Beis HaMikdash, just joking, but we'll be in Yerushalayim together im yirtzeh Hashem. But the month is called the month of Av. Why is it called the month of Av? Chodesh Av means father, father. The destruction of two Batei Mikdash, exiles and expulsions, inquisitions, pogroms, Holocaust, October 7th, the loss of lives, the tragic death of soldiers since then and this is Chodesh Av, this is the month of our father, of our father. The Heilige Kotzker Rebbe, Rav Menachem Mendel of Kotzk, the Kotzker said, you know if you're walking and you see an adult who's reprimanding a child, you know that that adult is the child's parent because a stranger doesn't care enough to reprimand, to scold, to give feedback or rebuke, to care about that child. The child is running in the street, a child is running away, a child is doing something dangerous, if you see a parent who's reprimanding, who's scolding, who's giving, who's giving... He cares enough to help us get back on track. He cares enough to keep us true and honest to ourselves. He cares enough that he's interacting with us even if it's not in the most pleasant way, it's only because he cares, אזוי זאגט דער קאצקער. But Rav Avraham Schorr has a different. Rav Avraham Schorr שליט"א ייבדל לחיים טובים וארוכים. Rav Avraham Schorr several years ago writes that Chodesh Av, Av is a roshei teivot, Emunah Bitachon. It is the month of Emunah and Bitachon. עבודת ימים אלו הוא אמונה ביטחון בהשם because the work, the effort this month is all about, the only way that you can navigate that exile, the only way to survive through that galus, through that loneliness, through that isolation, the only way to live is Emunah Bitachon. The month of Av in which we've suffered so, the month of Av in which we sit and we grieve and we mourn, the month of Av in which we reflect on the Jewish condition in the world which is so filled with pain, the only way to persevere and survive and thrive, Av, Emunah Bitachon. אמונה ביטחון הוא האב של כל יהודי. This is the parent of every Jew. To be a Yid, what is our father, who is our father? Av, Emunah Bitachon. So שורש כל עבודה שיהודי. Isa b'Bnei Yissaschar. The Bnei Yissaschar is all teaching, he goes on and on, ומי שיש לו אמונה ביטחון בזמן הגלות הוא יכול לצעוק אל השם בתשעה באב. The only way, the only way to endure a Tisha B'Av, the only way that Tisha B'Av becomes not only a day that knocks us down but Tisha B'Av becomes a time and a day that lifts us up. You know the pasuk says in Eicha, כל רודפיה השיגוה בין המצרים. All those who chased us they caught us bein hametzarim between the straits. These three weeks, nine days, Tisha B'Av is called bein hametzarim. And famously the heilege sefarim they all say we should reread that, kol rodfei Ha. All those chasing Hashem, kol rodfei, running after the Ha, the Heh is Hashem. Hisiguha, when can you catch up, when do you see and find and live and love Hashem? Bein hametzarim. It's in the dark places. Whenever everything's going right and everything's wonderful and well, often we forget and neglect Hashem. When is it you find him, call out to him, lean in, lean on him? When do you walk away transformed by a new relationship with him? It's bein hametzarim. It's when you're going through that hard time. Our shiur is dedicated in the memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, as I said, it's his yahrzeit this week, this Shabbos. His mantra in life was Hashem is amazing. But he didn't just say Hashem is amazing with the birth of every one of his wonderful children. He didn't just say Hashem is amazing when he married his amazing wife. He didn't just say Hashem is amazing when he graduated medical school or he treated his patients. He said Hashem is amazing when he was diagnosed and he said Hashem is amazing when his faculties declined and he said Hashem is amazing with his last breath. It's bein hametzarim. It was navigating and surviving and getting through even that darkest period ultimately that had such a terrible and tragic end. And he gives us, he's our hotspot to lean in on. Every week shiur is dedicated in his memory, but particularly this week. And so many others, I'm going to embarrass her and hopefully she will forgive me, but in that cemetery in Bochnia, a city, a town today that has no Jews and that looks exactly the way it probably did 80 years ago with cobble roads in which Yocheved's great-great-grandparents are buried, but so is her great-grandmother, her grandmother's mother. Yocheved was incredibly close with her grandparents, which is what motivated this trip, a yearning to connect to them through their hometown and where they lived and where they came from. And I was there and somewhat eavesdropping as Yocheved in the cemetery was having a conversation with her great-grandmother, telling her, you raised the most amazing daughter, my Bubby, who lost a husband and a child and survived the war and rebuilt. And I don't want to violate her confidence or get in any trouble later, but her Bubby in fact that she was describing accurately and understating, that was who they were, all survivors. Was bein hametzarim, they didn't come out with their faith weakened, not all, but many, most, many in this room knew your parents, aunts and uncles, our neighbors. But bein hametzarim, it was through that experience, it was in that place, Mr. Martin Judovits, Reb Martin Judovits, Reb Mordechai of our community, who wrote in his book and told us several times publicly in our community, when asked how did you keep your faith in Hashem that only grew, he wrote sefarim, he finished shas, he helped build our community after you lost everyone and everything in Dej, he said Hitler took my biological mother and father, I had one parent left, should I lose him too? Av, Emunah Bitachon. Av. That's what Mr. Judovits. represented. If you lose your parents, כי אבי ואמי עזבוני והשם יאספני, we'll start saying in Elul, in the Mizmor we recite every day. כי אבי ואמי עזבוני. Even when we are isolated and lonely and we've lost our physical mother and father, V'Hashem Ya'asfeni. Av, in this month of Av, the only way we're still here after 2,000 years of this is because of Av. Av is Emunah, Bitachon. Emunah, Bitachon. Embrace your place and you are where you're meant to be and Hashem has a plan and let go and let God and all the clichés and all the mottos and none of which we originated, but we repeat. Emunah, Bitachon is the only way to get through, only way to get by, only way to still be here and we have so many role models of it. And it's the only way Tisha B'Av. כי מי שאין לו אמונה בהשגחת הגלות, איש כזה חושב שהקדוש ברוך הוא עזב אותנו. If you really think Hashem has abandoned us, given up on us, if you really believe with no optimism, no faith, no hope, no positivity that there's a brighter future, then you don't sit on the floor and mourn on Tisha B'Av. You don't even observe Tisha B'Av. To observe Tisha B'Av is predicated to sit on the floor and cry and mourn and grieve and say, "This happened, but it happened for a reason." There is a source, there is a power, there is a father, a Tatte in Himmel who brought it about and he's going to get us out of it and he's already started to show us the light at the end of this tunnel. We've already begun to see the glimmer of redemption, still so far from it as we're living through. So, it's only, the only way to observe a Tisha B'Av is Av, Emunah, Bitachon. וממילא אינו צועק רק על ידי אמונה וביטחון בהשם. The only way you can cry out, the only way you can wail and mourn, the only way you can lament and say Kinos, the only way you can make it through Eicha, the only way you can spend the beginning of the day on the ground and at Chatzos have the courage and the hope and the strength to get up off the ground. You know, it's so sad so many they what Tisha B'Av has become and I'm not going to get into a little rant about this, but Tisha B'Av has basically become who can create the most, the best contact to content to distract us from the day? Who can create, what playlist can we make for ourselves of movies and shows, what books, what distractions? How can we get through this miserable 25-hour fast and be distracted from it? And there's so much meaning and that's not a criticism. The organizations and the content producers and the supporters who are making it all happen, they're making the day so meaningful. I watch and we show so many of these movies, I'm not Chalilah criticizing, I'm grateful, they're wonderful, but it's not a day to be distracted from, it's not a day to get through. I want to give this not as an analogy because it's not just an analogy. To say it's an analogy is to minimize it. Could you imagine someone who says, "I'm sitting Shiva, Rachmana Litzlan, for the loss of one of my loved ones." I'm in mourning. "You have any movies I could watch to distract myself? I'm sitting Shiva, but I don't really want to think about it or focus on it or feel the pain of it or mourn or grieve with it, so anything I could read or watch so that I don't have to think about to distract me from Shiva?" What would we say? What would we think? We don't get distracted from from Shiva. So, Tisha B'Av is not like we're sitting Shiva. The reason we're not wearing leather shoes and the reason that we're sitting on the ground, the reason is because we are sitting Shiva. For Jewish history, we're sitting Shiva for right now, we're sitting Shiva for the loss of potential in ourselves and the wasted moments and opportunities and relationships. So, the only way to get so don't be distracted from it, experience it. And when Chatzos strikes and you're looking at that clock and you're waiting, my back is killing and I don't have a good spot in the Shul, I can't sit on the floor and my knees and my everything's aching and krechting and pain and the technology is not working for some reason Hashem today is challenging us. I'm sorry for those who are watching or listening later. So, don't count down from Chatzos just to physically get it the reason that we sit on the floor and then get up is because metaphysically, emotionally, spiritually, that's the process we're going through. We begin it by sitting on the floor and being knocked down and low and then we get up. We get up with optimism and hope and how? Where do we find that strength? Av, Emunah, Bitachon. And if you're listening on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or you're watching and and this came on for you and it's not Erev Tisha B'Av and it's not the three weeks and the nine days and you're in the middle of December and you're listening and you say, "Why is this episode for me?" because it's always Chodesh Av for a Yid. Av, Emunah, Bitachon. When people are going through that dark and that hard place, when people are grieving or mourning, when people are feeling lost and loneliness, then always we only can live and endure because of Av, Emunah, Bitachon. We always need and rely, it's only through Emunah, Bitachon. That is always only the way that we can, the way that we can do it. And so, it's always relevant and it's always what we have to be working on is Emunah, Bitachon. And I'm working on, I don't know why this camera, I give up. I'm sorry. Hashem doesn't want you to see, oh, there it's back. I was going to say there's nothing to see. Rak. Okay so emuna bitachon ba-Hashem, this is not the handout that you have. I'm reading from Rav Meshor. Sorry if you're confused and you're wondering and you're looking all over, no we haven't started yet. This is all the introduction, we've not yet begun. So thank you for your patience. We've not yet begun. ולכן אמונה בטחון עולה בגימטריא צעקה שאתה צועק וכולי וכולי. Okay that was all the introduction. That was all the emuna bitachon. Okay let's get to this text. We're back in the emuna bitachon, this wonderful sefer of רב דוד אבוחצירא שליט"א in Nahariya the north of Israel that has been translated, has come out from Artscroll, we posted a link once in the group. You can buy it and follow it along in the English, I don't have it, so I can't post the English of it. Anyway, עבודת השם דווקא מהמצב שנמצא בו עכשיו. What I want to learn now is the notion of leaning into and living with emuna in whatever position, wherever we find ourselves in that moment, which is the essence of what we talk about all the time. בפתח דברינו נקדים את הידוע מהחידושי הרי"ם. He says let us introduce it with a beautiful teaching of the Heiliger Chidushei Harim, the great Gerer Rebbe, שאמר המשנה בפרקי אבות. Chidushei Harim writes on a mishna in Pirkei Avos, אם לא עכשיו אימתי. That's the mishna. The mishna says the great teaching: If not now, אם לא עכשיו אימתי, when? Don't procrastinate, don't delay, now. If not now, what? What's the matter? Oh, just wait. If not now, when? אם לא עכשיו אימתי. שבכל רגע יש תפקיד מיוחד בעבורו לתקן בעולם. So the Chidushei Harim says not 'if not now, when' meaning 'do your homework now, brush your teeth now, go to bed now, get the assignment done now, take care, pay the bill now' which is a general, also a very wonderful and valid teaching in life, אם לא עכשיו אימתי, if not now, when? But the Chidushei Harim reinterprets it so beautifully. The Heilige Chidushei Harim says, אם לא עכשיו אימתי, שבכל רגע יש תפקיד מיוחד בעבורו לתקן בעולם. Im lo achshav, if you don't do what you're meant to do right now, if you don't realize that you are where you are right now for a reason, eimasi, you're going to lose that moment, you're going to lose that moment. It means that wherever we are and however... you're meant to be on that line in the airport. Now figure out why. Im lo achshav. Now. This is where you're meant to be. The red light, the car's delayed, talking to that friend, witnessing or overseeing or overhearing that thing that's happening. אין רגע אחד שיתקן את הרגע האחר. There's no one moment that can atone for or repair or fix another moment. For every moment there is a purpose and a reason. Now this is an awesome responsibility of way of life, to be so mindful and so present that every moment of every day we are thinking and considering and aware, what's my tafkid this moment? What's my mission this moment? What's my mission this moment? With the person I'm sitting across from or the person I'm speaking to, with where I am, with what's going on, with this work I have to do, with this chore, with this errand, with this task. That's an awesome level of consciousness. It's an awesome level of mindfulness. And yet it's one we're capable of having. If not for every single moment of twenty-four hour day, but generally speaking, certainly the beginning, the middle, the end of a day, the beginning, the introduction of a major task or exercise or effort. Im lo achshav. If I don't have this conversation right now with this person who's confiding, who's making me aware, who's telling me something, eimasi? Then I'm going to miss out on this mission. Every moment has a mission associated with it. Where we are, who we're talking to, what we're doing, what the world has given us a stage or platform for, every moment has a mission associated with it. What's my mission right now? Sometimes my mission is to sleep, to eat, to relax, to chill out, recreation. Recreation comes from the word 're-create'. We need to re-create, so we need recreation. So my mission doesn't always have to be defined as something selfless, not that self-care is selfish, it's self-care so you can care for others. But what's my mission in this moment? וכן לכל נברא יש את תיקונו המיוחד שרק הוא יכול וצריך לפעול במעשה ואין אחר שיעשהו. For everything created, there is a unique and particular and singular thing that only that person can do and no one else can. In that moment where you are and where you find yourself, there's no other you because each of us is unique and distinct and singular. Because that is who each of us are, it means by definition no one can bring to that moment what I can bring. Because there is no other me. So who I am, my uniqueness, positions me to embrace and take advantage of and complete and fulfill some mission that moment that no one else in the world can. שכל אחד הרי הוא שליח שנשתלח לעולם לתקן דבר מה מסוים. Everyone of us, we woke up this... This morning rabba emunasecha, we are only here cause there are things for us to do that no one else can. Because if others could, if we were done, if our mission is complete, we wouldn't have woken up. We wouldn't be here. And if we are, we've shared this before too. Every day we wake up and open our eyes and we are alive, and there's breath restored in our lungs every day, and that's why we begin with Modeh Ani, God, I'm so grateful, grateful am I that you've restored my soul, not just a soul, nishmasi, my soul. I'm so grateful you renewed my contract. I can't believe it. I thought I was done. I underperformed, I underachieved, I overpromised and underdelivered, so I thought there's no way you're going to renew my contract. I woke up another day, you renewed my contract another day. Why is your contract renewed? Because there's more work. And when someone's contract is renewed, is there a greater statement and demonstration of faith from the employer to the employee than I've renewed your contract? So every day we wake up, rabba emunasecha, God, your faith in me is great. How do I know, employer, you have a lot of faith in me, your employee? Because you've renewed my contract. And how did he renew your contract? Do your eyes work? Your arms, your legs, your mouth? Is it all working? You have a roof over your head? You have food to eat? You have clothing to wear? He's renewed your contract another day. And if he renewed your contract another day, it's because he has come to the conclusion... every day he does it while you're sleeping. He does an evaluation every day. Are they doing their job? Are they doing it well? Is there anyone else who can do it instead or do it different or do it better? And if the answer was no and you woke up, it's because there's something unique and distinct and singular for you to do. What is your mission in that moment? What is your mission for that day? For some people, their mission and their moment is to get to the end of the day. I'm going to publish because I have permission, but it's been over several weeks and months a most extraordinary exchange between neither of the people live here, both are anonymous, but somebody who's been through among the worst things a person can suffer in the world, horrific abuse, horrible, horrible unspeakable things and looking to try to find God and why would God and how could God, and you talk about Bein Hametzarim trying to find God even in that. And someone else who I know went through similar circumstance, who I thought could articulate a response much better than I just because I give the shiur to those long list of questions. And this exchange is incredibly, incredibly powerful. Incredibly, incredibly powerful. And a person goes through what they go through because maybe they can help someone else, relieve their pain, teach them, lift them, give them hope, change them. We each have a mission, a uniqueness, a reason that we're here. Hashem has faith in us, now figure it out. And I have to tell you both for both authors of that correspondence, to get to the end of a day is heroic. They're doing much more than that. But just to get to the end of a day, it wasn't so simple in either of their lives that they would. Just to get to the end of a day is heroic. And maybe for some people their mission, their purpose, is to just fight and do what it takes to get to an end of a day. And others meant to cure cancer or end wars or rescue or find... everyone has their mission, their mandate. We don't know where a person started or what they're living from and where they're at. So חשיבותו של כל רגע צריכה להיות אצל כל אחד. What this does is it gives us a sense in our lives of the power of every moment. You live a different consciousness, you live a different mindfulness, you live a different presence. And you know what's amazing about this perspective and this approach, about this attitude? I don't care if you're 17 years old or 70 years old or 102 years old. I don't care if what you're... what we call the prime of your life, or you're on the back nine of your life, the twilight of your life. I don't care how much energy or vigor. I don't care whether you're a working professional or you're so-called retired. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. At every age and every stage, every gender, every moment matters. And to ask ourselves, what's my mission in this moment? You could be in a nursing home, just trying to hold on to the end of each day and imbue each moment of meaning... each moment of life with meaning. Or you could be in the prime of your life with energy and strength and running, running. It doesn't matter. Equally, כל רגע צריכה להיות אצל כל אחד. Whatever rega, whatever moment means. הלא עכשיו יש רגע המיוחד שבו רק אני יכול לזכות. Imagine you say to yourself at the Emunah shiur, before it, afterwards, wherever I'm going next, whatever's happening in my life, every moment is inviting me to give it meaning. Every moment I have a mission that no one else can do. What is it? Will I fulfill it? Will I complete it? complete it. ואם איבד את הרגע הראוי לשם שליחותו, כבר לא יוכל להשיבו אחרי מכן. And if that moment passes and you didn't meet the moment, if that moment passes and you didn't fulfill your mission, your mission might be just being on a train in Zurich or a restaurant in Budapest. Your mission in that moment might be taking care of yourself so later you can take care of others. But whatever to thoughtfully and mindfully and strategically and with intention determine what does this moment call for. If you don't fulfill the mission of each moment, you can't get it back. That's one of the things I'll give you a little preview, I'll speak about it I do every year what Tisha B'Av's about. We think that we sit shiva, we sit low to the ground, it's all for others, the six million, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the two Batei Mikdash, October 7th, the horrific loss of life since then. And yes, it is all of that. But you know for whom each and every one of us will sit on the ground and sit shiva on Tisha B'Av? Ourselves. Because since last Tisha B'Av how many moments did we squander? How many relationships did we not nurture or take advantage of or protect? How many resources did we use on ill-advised things? And we're in mourning for that loss. You know what we're sitting shiva for? The regaim, the moments that we didn't fulfill our mission because you can't get them back. You can't get them back. You can't repair them, you can't undo them, you can't make up for them. There is teshuva, there is improvement. All we can do is make sure that the next moment matters and the moment after that and that we continue to now begin to fulfill our mission in every moment going forward. And it's depressing and it's sad and I'm sorry to tell it to you that if we did not fulfill our mission in those moments, those moments aren't coming back anymore than you can turn back time. And no plastic surgery in the world can get back time. You can't. You can't turn back the clock and you can't get back time and you can't bring back the earlier years and you can't make yourself younger or even look that younger, sorry to tell you. But you can't get back, you can't get back time. If it's gone, it's gone. That rega, those regaim, those moments, those missions in those moments, they're gone. All we can do is the sadness and the grief and the sense of loss over those we didn't take advantage of should inspire and motivate us and move us to live every moment to its fullest going forward. To fulfill and find our mission for every moment as we go forward. אם איבדת את הרגע הראוי לשם שליחותו, if you lost it, it's gone. It's gone. And that's what Chazal say: אין לך אדם שאין לו שעה ואין לך דבר שאין לו מקום שלכל אחד יש את השעה והתיקון המיוחד דווקא, everyone has their moment, what they're meant to do in that space, ואינו יכול להיעשות על ידי שום אדם שבעולם, no one else can do it. It's waiting for you and if you don't take advantage of it, it's gone. ולכך לא ייתכן שאין לו את השעה לצורך כך כי לולי השעה והמקום אינו יכול לקיים שליחותו העליונה. So we'll pick up with this when we're back again at the end of August, but this notion, on the one hand you could use it and end in a place of sadness: wow, that's depressing, how much did I squander and waste, how many moments did I not make matter. But the sadness and grief which we're meant to feel over that should inspire us going forward, plowing forward, should inspire us to say, now I'm going to fulfill my mission in every moment. I'm going to live with a mindfulness and a consciousness and a presence. This is what the Navi Yeshaya says in our haftorah this week: ami lo hitbonan, my people, they didn't live with hitbonenus. They weren't contemplative. They were just coasting through life. They were just being carried by momentum through life. Days and weeks and months and years just blended one into the other. They were lost in Instagram Reels, they were lost in binge watch, they weren't paying attention to life. They weren't making the moments matter. They weren't fulfilling their mission. And that's why I had to shake things up with a Bein Hametzarim, with a loss of two Batei Mikdash. We're supposed to feel shaken up. We're supposed to wake up to a life of contemplativeness and mindfulness. And so while this isn't relevant, he didn't write it specifically for this time of year, it remains nevertheless very relevant for it. Thank you, it's good to be back together at least just for this week. Hopefully we'll figure out the camera by the time we come back so it's not amateur hour anymore at Boca Raton Synagogue. But until then, wishing you a healthy, happy, and a holy summer, ונתבשר בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות.
