Transcript
Okay, good morning, Boker tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna. Even in the dead of summer in Boca Raton, it's amazing to be with such a great crowd. So thank you, as this is my support group for myself, and otherwise I'd be sitting here all by myself. So I deeply appreciate your being here as we're all continuing to work on and learning how to live with Emuna, which we so desperately need in our lives. I want to thank our generous sponsors, Drs. Zvi and Bella Morgan, our series sponsor in memory of her mother, Dr. Ellen Chanzer, and in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut for a Shemira of all the Israeli soldiers and the hope and prayer all the hostages come home and there's peace and triumph and victory over our enemies. This morning is also sponsored by Michelle Diamond and family in honor of the fourth Yahrtzeit. It's hard to believe four years, the loss of our beloved Chaim on the ninth of Tammuz. Chaim, we know, a person who was real and raw in his relationship with Hashem, word on his sleeve, and taught all of us what it means to have a real relationship with him, real Emuna even in the darkest and hardest of circumstances, and certainly we miss him. His Neshama should have an Aliyah. Thank you for the sponsorship, and Michelle generously brought in donuts for everybody, so make a Bracha in his memory, please. Okay, we have lots and lots of emails. We won't get to them all. I want to share some of them, and the emails are all amazing. Please continue to write them. I think they're meaningful for those who authored them, they're meaningful for me to read each and every one, and each Emuna email is a Shiur unto itself, is a Shiur unto itself. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, my wife introduced me to your Living with Emuna Shiur. We live in such and such a place. She'll share the episode she thinks will resonate. So although I'm not a Baki on your Shiur, I'm familiar with you are where you're meant to be. Last week, my son and I went to Dallas for a Rangers game. We're trying to attend games in all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums, and the only remaining team playing a home game on June 19th was the Texas Rangers in Dallas. So we flew from New York to catch a game. Thursday morning, I ordered a Lyft to go to the 6:40 AM Shacharis Minyan. The driver was driving a Ford F-150, my first time in one. I'm going to guess that's a truck. And listening to a sermon. I was wearing a Kippah and balanced asking him to shut off the radio with a potential Chillul Hashem. So although the person delivering the sermon initially was talking about David and overcoming challenges, I tried hard to tune him out. The bits and pieces I heard of the speech was about the importance of faith and even more so in the face of challenges and adversity. He then went on to quote scriptures, so I really tried hard to tune him out until he said very clearly, quote, 'You are where you're meant to be.' So there I was in the back seat of a Ford F-150, sweating in the Dallas heat, trying hard not to listen to the radio, and I was reminded that spending time with my son David was where I was meant to be. Wishing you continued Hatzlacha, signed so-and-so, a New York and baseball fan. So there's nothing like getting a little Mussar from a pastor on a radio in Dallas, Texas, who is reminding all of us in life we are always where we are meant to be, which is beautiful. Someone brought in this morning the wrapper of a candy, Dove. I thought it was a bar of soap, but it's a candy apparently, chocolate. A chocolate? Dark chocolate. Dark, not just chocolate, dark chocolate. Chashuv, dark chocolate, which says, 'Embrace the everyday miracles.' So there you go. Whether you're, if your antenna's extended, if you're picking up the signal, if you want to listen to what the world is teaching and offering, then even sitting in the back of your Lyft or even opening a chocolate, then you make the mistake of thinking that the chocolate is where it's meant to be in your mouth and in your stomach, and I know your dentist might disagree or might agree, it's good for his livelihood. But anyway, if your antenna's extended, you're listening carefully to what the world tells you, the messages are everywhere. Mala ha'aretz kinyanecha, the world is filled with an opportunity and an invitation to make a Kinyan, to acquire a relationship with Hashem in the back of a Lyft or opening a chocolate, but Hashem is constantly trying to talk to us and remind us. A follow-up email, we got one from someone who was displaced from her home in Yerushalayim, had to go with family, felt all alone throughout the war with Iran. Hi Rav, how are you doing? I wanted to say thank you for reading and responding to my email. Your response was like a big hug from Hashem. It gave me much Chizuk to truly embrace my place. As the Rav said, Hashem was right there with me. It feels like a Zchus to have been a part of the 12-day war along with Am HaNetzach. Furthermore, my Matzav had a crazy positive outcome. Thank Hashem, I had such a fun, incredible, and meaningful time with my cousins in Petach Tikva. I became beyond close with them, which is very exciting. It was almost too easy to embrace my place. I didn't want to leave after the Hafsakat Esh. We never know what Shefa Bracha Hashem has in store for us. והכי מדהים שיפרתי את העברית שלי לרמה מטורפת. She's very excited to say that living with those Israeli cousins, she was able to elevate and enhance her Hebrew, which I hope I didn't just butcher, to a new level. Thank you for the Torah, enjoyed, best regards. Shalom, I was listening to the recent Living with Emuna episode and you mentioned a perspective circulating in Israel. I told you my sister had shared a... I told you my sister had shared a meme or a GIF, whatever it's called, that was going around in Israel during that 12-day war, that the 12-day war was the child of Corona and October 7th. If Corona and October 7th came together and had a child, that's what this 12-day war was like for those in Israel. It was the worst of Corona, schools were shut, businesses were shut, the world was shut down, and the world of October 7th, enemies attacking, missiles flying, and as if the two of them had a child, that's what the war with Iran was like. This person writes, while there may be truth to that view, I'd like to offer another perspective. One that feels very much aligned with the spirit of embrace your place. Perhaps it was our experience during Corona that gave us kind of national vaccine. One that built the emotional and spiritual resilience we would need to withstand the upheaval of everyday life which we just experienced. The constant rushing to bomb shelters, sleepless nights, school cancellations, airport shutdown, work interruptions, maybe all of that prepared us to stand strong when it counted. So don't view it as the stepchild or the child of Corona and October 7th, he's writing maybe the experience of Corona essentially vaccinated the whole country. I mean if you think about it what other country, what other people, Mi Kamcha Yisrael, who have the ability to endure what they did for 12 days and by the way again yesterday because those Houthis were back in a bomb shelter back with a siren yesterday? But what people, 10 million people, that for two weeks in and out of bomb shelters, world shut down, and then as soon as it's undone, back to life, back to work, back to camp, back to school. So he writes maybe Corona was the national vaccine. As far as October 7th, without the devastation and awakening of that day, would we now be witnessing the dismantling of enemies who had encircled and threatened us for generations? Perhaps poised to enter a new era with the potential of unprecedented security and flourishing unlike anything we've seen since 1967. Of course we would all wish for these blessings to arrive through other happier means, but as we say, you are where you're meant to be for reasons known only to Hashem, his blessings sometimes come through mysterious and challenging pathways, but blessings they remain all the same. So it takes only somebody who's living it to be able to say, but don't only see the negativity as the child of Corona and October 7th, he says maybe there were some silver lining. Again for those who've lost loved ones, those who've paid the heaviest price, for those who've experienced this impossible trauma, we're not suggesting they see a silver lining in it. They've paid a price for which Klal Yisrael carry a debt to them for eternity. But on the whole to be able to have that other perspective really is remarkable and extraordinary. Hi Rav Goldberg, I'm a weekly listener to Parsha and Emuna shiur, I thought about writing you a few times as I started listening to your shiur shortly after October 7th. I live in Israel what we are experiencing is not simple. My husband has been in reserve multiple times, I have four young children including a baby that was born this year. These past two weeks have experienced my breaking point. Being alone in a bomb shelter where my husband served at one of our borders with our very friendly neighbors and then having to keep my children happy, calm, occupied, was just too much for me. My children thank God returned to school yesterday I was finally able to catch up on the Emuna shiur. Thanks for giving the boost that I need, I tried so hard to daven and connect with Hashem these past two weeks, but honestly I was struggling to see him. May you continue to be mechazek Jewish people, give chizuk during this difficult time. I'm sure you get a lot of these messages, I'm grateful for the Torah a simple miluim wife and mother in Israel trying to take it day by day. There is no such thing as a simple miluim wife. אשת חיל מי ימצא, these women who are carrying it all on their shoulders whose husbands are off, who are balancing children, bomb shelters, and so much more, there is nothing, nothing, nothing simple about them and just absolutely extraordinary. Someone sent me a screenshot when in the 12-day war with Iran when the country and the airport were shut down and many of us have children who were scheduled to spend their summers in Israel, so many pivoted to figure out what am I going to do with them. It was a small price on the scale of what people were paying for this war, having to find something new for a child was relatively small, although for many could trigger a lot of anxiety and worry. So this person whose son was supposed to be on a program in Israel found another program in America when it looked like the airport would be shut and the program wasn't going to happen and registered him in another program. Anyway, K'heref Ayin, we know that ישועת השם כהרף עין, Hashem can step in and turn things around like that. And from when we heard the war was ending in Iran until they removed all the emergency homeland rules and regulations and the airport reopened it felt like it was like that. And next thing you know, camps were on, trips were planned, life was back to normal, not that anything still happening is normal. So this person contacted the new camp to say, turns out my son's program is on and can I cancel with you. And listen to what the person wrote back. She wrote let me see how to make that happen, it's a Brocha to be able to enter our homeland. She could have said too late, you gave me a deposit, you're not getting it back, you registered, you can't undo it, we held up. we've now made plans. That person running the camp in America said, it's a brocha to be able to enter our homeland, let me see what I can do. Wish them well. And I think that's amazing. And that's the emuna that we've learned about. We've shared many times that the Chazon Ish writes in Emuna Bitachon that if a person lives with emuna and bitachon, you realize that all of our parnassah comes from Hashem and it was already determined on Rosh Hashanah. Nobody can touch it, no one can tap into it, nobody can take it away. Not a competitor, not somebody who takes back the registration or changes their plans. Whatever we're meant to get, whatever we're meant to have, Hashem is going to provide. And when we live our lives with that attitude, then we do what's right in business, and we carry ourselves with confidence and clarity, and dignity and honor, and integrity, and we're not overly competing, and we're not ever worried, because we understand and we realize it all comes from Hashem. I told you the story of the bagel store, your machine's gonna break, my machine's gonna break, we're better off getting along and covering each other, because Hashem has enough for both of our stores to be able to do well, we'll both make what we're meant to make. And this is yet another example, a beautiful demonstration of it, of a camp director who says, it's a brocha to be able to go to the homeland. It's amazing that camp's back on, be gezunt, let me figure out how to get you back your money, that's amazing. That blew me away. Maybe it shouldn't. Maybe it should be obvious. But in today's day and age, nothing's obvious. And people dig in, and people say I was counting on that money, I got another counselor, I held a spot, you can't have it back. Wow, it's a - let me see how to make that happen, it's a brocha to be able to enter our homeland. I think that's incredible, I think that was worthy of noting, of mention. Okay. There's so many more here. So many more here. But I want to read one more. I do so with hesitation because you know how uncomfortable I am with compliments, but the person ended "I hope you read it, that it may give strength and courage to others who may feel the same way." So I'm going to read one more and then we'll dive back into our text, but know that I am uncomfortable. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I've written this email a million times in my head over the last year and a half. I just felt unsure and shy. But after listening to you read so many heartfelt emails, I feel that I can finally write to you openly and honestly. I am a mother of eight children and a grandmother to three. I've lived in Israel for 19 years and for most of the time I've loved it. I felt so grateful we made Aliyah and considered myself lucky to be here. But after October 7th, everything changed. Around Rosh Hashanah I told my sister-in-law, I can't do this anymore. I can't daven, I can't keep Shabbos, I don't want to celebrate Chag. I'm tired, I'm sad, and it's all too much. Endlessly bombs, the house shaking, the windows rattling. I was losing hope. My son, a Golani soldier who fought on October 7th, was suffering terribly from PTSD. The sweet, happy, adorable boy I knew had disappeared, and the pain of watching him suffer was overwhelming. I felt like I couldn't pray, I couldn't go to shul, I couldn't do anything. My sister-in-law urged me before giving up completely to try listening to Living with Emuna. I initially scoffed, I told her I had no patience left for rabbis, especially one in the States who couldn't possibly understand what I was going through. But I was so desperate to feel something that I finally agreed. I'll just pause to tell you, lest you think this goes to my head, I was last week in New Jersey, Baruch Hashem we traveled for a simcha and we were in a sefarim store. And there was a kid running the cash register, his father's store, and his father was running around the sefarim store and the kid, eight years old, was running the cash register. So I was checking out and he was doing an excellent job checking me out. And his father walked up and saw me there and said to the kid, whatever his name is, "Hey Moishele, you want to take a picture with a famous Rabbi?" So the kid said, "Yes, where?" And I said, "Yeah, where? I want a picture. I want a picture with him too." Anyway, Baruch Hashem you can count on the eight-year-old kids to keep you humble. So, Baruch Hashem. I listened to just one episode and I don't remember everything you said, but it was soothing, kind, and understanding. I was hooked. Because of you I went to shul. I didn't daven but I sat there and wrote my own tfillos. And from that moment I decided I can do this, not everything, but small things. Since then I've been listening to the podcast non-stop, they've helped me. As I mentioned, we're going through very difficult times. I'm so grateful my son is alive, I thank Hashem every day for bringing him back to us, but it's not been easy. He's no longer the same person, he struggles with anger, emotional ups and downs. It's been painful to watch, yet slowly he's getting better. He recently got engaged to his incredible girlfriend who stayed by his side through everything. For that too I am grateful. I now make it a point to always search for what I can be grateful for, no matter what chaos is happening around me. And once again we are at war. Once again my son's trauma has been reignited. Last week during a siren he refused to go into the mamad. It shook our entire home literally and emotionally. The other children were terrified. There was a war outside and a war inside. I felt broken. Then I remembered your words, I let go and let God. I said to Hashem, I'm not fighting anymore. Please keep my family safe. Please help them see that we are not the enemy, their enemy. I also understood that they needed someone to direct their pain toward, and parents are often the target. They're also exhausted from war. So I focused even more on building my emuna. I reminded myself that they will come to understand where they're meant to be in time. My emuna muscles working overtime, and I feel like I'm holding my whole home on my shoulders. I'm doing all I can to keep the peace. When I feel exhausted, I list what I'm grateful for. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. My children are healthy, safe, and at home. I have a home and a mamad. We don't live in central Israel, we have fewer sirens. I have a podcast which gives me strength. Thank you for your compassion, for truly caring. It can feel lonely and sometimes it just feels like the Jews outside of Israel don't really care. Your idea of sending a small gift to families is beautiful, something like that would truly lift the spirits of families like mine. It would make my kids feel hugged, less alone, and even smile. Thank you for acknowledging what's happening in Israel. Thank you for remembering the hostages and making sure the world doesn't forget the atrocities we've endured. Your empathy and kindness have brought us closer to Hashem. Stories and Torah have helped teach children about emuna and how to speak to Hashem. I hope one day to come to Boca for a chag and hear you in person, better we should meet in Israel. I've had painful experience with religious figures in the past. I grew up in an Orthodox community and experienced a lot of trauma. I'm a deeply spiritual person but I couldn't be religious the way I was raised, it was too much. But from you, I feel no judgment, only kindness. Listening has helped me reconnect with Hashem in my own way and I've learned that's okay. So thank you for helping me and my family through this incredibly difficult time. I hope you read it as it may give strength and courage to others who may feel the same way as I do. So as I told you, it does make me uncomfortable, it's not my thing, but I'm not taking the credit. This is all of us. It's you. It's our emuna shiur, it's us together, it's this community of people learning and working on emuna and doing so in the context of caring about our brothers and sisters in Israel and thinking and talking about them endlessly. And I want to just end by saying she's not listening to my emuna shiur, all who are listening to her email are just listened to her emuna shiur. I don't know how to say this anymore strongly. It is so easy, easy relatively speaking, not to suggest that everybody in chutz la'aretz has it easy, there are people going through incredibly difficult and hard times, people in this room who've navigated and are navigating circumstances that are unimaginable, that feel downright cruel from Hashem. But if one is not, a delayed flight, sitting in traffic, an Amazon package that didn't come on time, things not going your way, something getting canceled because it was raining, those are easy, easy emuna moments. These are emuna teachers. And if we're struggling, as she described she was, latch on, hook on, connect, use these emails, these people, these profiles, these images, they our, they are our emuna hotspots, because they are displaying and demonstrating a high-speed connection to Hashem. Not only should the Jews of chutz la'aretz not be disconnected from what's happening in Israel, but there is an unbelievable opportunity for religious growth and inspiration right now. Watch the podcast interviews, read the stories and the articles, follow the hostages who've been released, follow the simple miluim wives who there's nothing simple about them who are who are enduring and carrying so much on their back. Listen to soldiers who've got out and what they've gone through, and they are the hotspot. We can get a high-speed signal to Hashem right now, there's an opportunity for an enormous, enormous emuna burst by connecting. So I just have the privilege of reading these emails. It's the easiest thing in the world and the greatest privilege that I have, and I'm so grateful to it, and I don't deserve any credit for it. It's the people who are writing and who are living and who are practicing and who are overcoming and navigating the most impossible circumstances right now of terminal illness and end of life and very complicated circumstances in so many different directions. And I thank you, each and every person who sends that email, who's giving me an emuna shiur and giving all of us a hotspot to connect with and to connect to above with. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you. We're on page mem of the source sheets, we're still learning emuna bitachon. Very exciting news for you, we've been learning this sefer from Rav Dovid Abuchatzeira that came out since October 7th. Rav Dovid Abuchatzeira is a rav in Nahariya, the north of Israel, who has endured in his community all of those attacks and the north, what it went through for so long. And he wrote this was a collection of his teachings on emuna bitachon. ArtScroll just published this sefer in English. So if you've been wanting to follow along or read it on your own, ArtScroll just put it out in English. I don't get any royalty from ArtScroll, but I do want to encourage because it's an and an amazing sefer, and if we continue to learn it, we'll see where we go next, whether we do another perek or choose another text, but if we do continue to learn it, maybe we'll try to get a copy and be able to provide it both in the Hebrew and English for those who are following along. We're in the left-hand column on page mem, and we've been learning in this perek about hishtadlus, the balance between initiative and effort and faith. What is for us to do, Hashem says you do your part and I'll do my part. And again, that challenge of where that line is, that's the blurry part, that's the hard part. Where's that line between our effort and His effort? He says, don't cop out, I'm not bailing you out, you gotta take your initiative, you gotta do your part, you can't rely on my miracles, I'm not bailing you out. There's a great expression, there's a great expression, somebody, a mentor of mine in Boca, passed away many years ago when I first started, he taught me this expression, I've tried to use it unsuccessfully with my children, but it's a great expression, which is your poor planning is not my emergency. Right? The night before the paper's due at 1:00 AM, could you go over my paper, could you help me, could you spell it out, could you review it, could you redline it? Your poor planning is not my emergency. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, your poor planning is not my emergency. You have your initiative, you have what you're meant to do, you have what you need to take care of, you can't sit back, recline on the couch and think I'm gonna swoop in and take care of it for you. On the one hand, you have to do your part, and we saw the Rav Druck insight about Moshe Rabbeinu, he had to go tent to tent, the Bas Kol didn't go out and announce the census of the Levi'im, how many Levi'im there were from one month and up, it didn't announce how many there were until Moshe went tent to tent. You have to do your part, you have to take your initiative. But then Hashem says, once you do your part, hey, fall back, don't try to take my job. Hashem says, relax, fall back, don't try to take my job. You do yours and I'll do mine. So where's that line? What's the ours and what's the his? What's considered excessive initiative? What's considered too little initiative and cop out counterfeit faith? How do we find that balance between the two? מעתה נשוב לענייננו אף אם אמנם נגזר עליך להתגלגל בדרכים מטמוני אפין אך זאת רק ההשתדלות הנראה בעיני האומות כעניים אך בבית מוכן לך כל טוב בלא קש ליגיעה בחובת ההשתדלות. Even if it feels like in this world we have to exert effort and we have to take initiative and we have to try and we have to keep doing more and more and more and more, and it looks like Hashem, what's the plan here? Hashem, what is your plan? Why do I have to keep trying? Why do I keep failing? Why do I have to keep doing more and more and more? What's your plan? What's going on? The truth is only from our limited perspective, only from our narrow view are we doing hishtadlus over and over and over again. But from above, from Hashem's perspective, He has shefa bracha waiting for us, there is enormous blessing waiting for us. וכשאדם יודע זאת אינו נופל לפיתויי היצר שבמקום זה ובאופן זה ישיג פרנסתו. Never be hopeless, never despair, never give up, know and understand Hashem has a plan. And while it feels like there are a million steps to our plan, why so many? Know that at the end of those steps, there's shefa bracha, there's breakthrough waiting, there's breakthrough wedding, waiting for us. Who invented the light bulb? Benjamin Franklin? Thomas Edison? Edison, Thomas Edison, thank you, I'm displaying my ignorance, Thomas Edison. So there's a famous quote of Thomas Edison, who said when he was asked by a reporter when he finally invented the light bulb, because he had experimented for years and he had tried hundreds of experiments and they all failed. And Edison was asked by a reporter, what does it feel like to have failed hundreds of times before you finally invented the light bulb? And he said, I never failed once. I invented the light bulb, it just had a hundred steps to the process. If you live your life and you realize I never failed once, these aren't failures, you can fail forward, you don't lose, you learn, then you realize, not Hashem, I'm so bitter and resentful and angry, why am I going from job to job? Why have I had to go out with 50 different men or 50 different women? Hashem, why am I trying all these medications or lifestyle changes? Why isn't this shot working for me and I have to try another one? You don't look at each one of them as a failure, you don't look at each one of them as Hashem why are you doing this to me, but why are you doing this for me? Hashem, there is an outcome and there is going to be a result and there is a plan and there is an overwhelming amount of blessing waiting for me. I invented the light bulb, we're going to have our breakthrough, it's just a journey and a process that has so many steps to it. כי הרי מזונותיו כתובים לו מראש השנה. הגמרא בביצה דף טז tells us that what we're destined to get, what we're going to make, at least the maximum, the cap of it, was already determined on Rosh Hashanah. When we davened on Rosh Hashanah and that was sealed on Yom Kippur and that was sent and delivered on the last. of Hoshana Rabba and then on Zos Chanukah and then, okay, leave that out, but when Hakadosh Baruch Hu already signed and sealed what we were going to get, it was decided. Now we've got to do our work to get it. In other words, as I've said before, on Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur Hashem allocated, He put into a trust whatever is the maximum we're going to make this year. Now He said, go to work. Your paycheck comes from the trust. You don't get that money from the trust unless you go to work. You've got to earn the paycheck, but no, you could work as much as you want, you'll never make more than what's in the trust. And other people can compete with you, and other people can try to take from you, but they can't trust, they can't touch the trust. That's why it's called a trust. It's safely in a trust. Hakadosh Baruch Hu the Ribbono Shel Olam has a trust in Shamayim for every one of us. And that trust, by the way, takes so many different forms. There are trust funds, nebach, another one of the expressions I love, you've heard me quote it before. There are people who are so poor that all they have is money. Nebach, there are people so poor, all they have is money. Money is good, and money helps solve a lot of problems, and money can enrich and enhance a lot of life, but the biggest challenges in life money can't solve. All the money in the world cannot overcome a terminal illness. All the money in the world cannot bring a baby, all the money in the world cannot bring shalom bayis, all the money in the world doesn't help a person find their partner. All the money in the world, the things that gave us the most meaning and purpose and the greatest happiness money cannot buy. So therefore, understand and know that while you're waiting for that trust, not every trust is filled with dollar signs or shekel or pesos or whatever, wherever you are listening. Not every trust fund is filled with money. The most important and the biggest trusts there are is health. There's a trust fund called having a good name. Someone I love very, very much and I'm very, very close to, and unfortunately is in a very difficult place in life and I've spent a lot of time with him and I keep reminding him, you're the wealthiest man I know because you have a sterling reputation and the best name, and there's no thing of greater value than a shem tov, than a good name and a good reputation and being a good friend. That's hard work to earn that, and that can disappear and be taken from you in a moment's notice. Not because of your fault, for a false accusation or somebody who attacks you. So to have that trust fund that's called a good name, to have family who love you, to have legacy, to have loyalty, that's of inestimable value. That's in fact what you can take with you. You can't take the trust fund of money with you. Whatever you earn, whatever you buy, whatever you accumulate, whatever you amass, by the way, the Torah says be geizunt, enjoy it. Have a beautiful home, drive a nice car, go on a good vacation, enjoy a good meal. Hashem wants us to enjoy His world, but never confuse that with who you are and never for a moment think that you can take that with you because you can't. כי לא במותו יקח הכל לא ירד אחריו כבודו. You can't take that with you. You know, there are people so excited how many followers they have on social media. Ooh wah. They hit this number. Guess what doesn't come with you? I've never seen, I shouldn't say never because it's actually shocking what you'll see on tombstones, but as of today I've never seen on a tombstone, you know, they lived from this year to this year and they had 25,000 followers on Instagram. I haven't seen it yet on a tombstone. You know, loving father, beloved mother, 100,000 followers on Twitter. I haven't seen that yet. Yet. It's believable that one day you will. But you don't take your followers and your fame with you. And you don't take your homes and your cars and your clothes with you. They're beautiful, enjoy them, you can make a difference with them in this world, be geizunt. You don't take it with you and the Malbim says, why does it say lo yered acharav לא במותו יקח הכל? Why does it say כי לא במותו יקח הכל, you can't take it all with you? It should say you can't take anything with you. I don't know, has anyone figured out what you can take with you? You can't take anything with you. That's why we're buried in the most simple tachrichim. We don't dress people up in their favorite dress or their favorite suit. We don't put that jewelry on them. We don't bury them with things because you can't take things with you. So what does it mean? Says the Malbim, כי לא במותו יקח הכל, you can't take it all with you, but some things you can take with you? What can you take with you? So paradoxically the answer is the only thing you can take with you is not what you hold on to. The only thing you can take with you is what you gave away. Because what you gave away, that's who you are. The difference that you made, the difference that you were, the person that you were, your legacy, your life, your name, your reputation, that's what you take with you. So says the Malbim, כי לא במותו יקח. you can take who you were, what you did, what you gave away, you can take what your reputation is. So the trust fund that Hashem has for us is not only filled with money, though we need it and I don't mean to minimize it and people who struggle with it, it's very hard. But nebach there are people so poor that all they have is money. We're learning in Siddur Snippets we started last night, the last, the final bracha of the Amida, the nineteenth bracha, the bracha of Sim Shalom. The ultimate bracha, the ultimate ask we have of Hashem is shalom. Why? The Mishnah at the end of Uktzin tells us אין כלי מחזיק ברכה אלא השלום, the vessel that holds bracha is peace, is peace. What does that mean? What does that mean? It means you could have health and you could have wealth and you could have everything and if you have no peace, you have nothing. Listen to these emails I just read. You could have the most magnificent villa in Rishon, you could have a beautiful villa in Caesarea on the ocean, you could have if you have rockets raining over your head and you're running to bomb shelters what do you have? You got a great lab report and a great physical and your health is sterling. But if you don't have peace, then what do you have? And peace doesn't only mean from enemies externally. Listen to that last email. If you don't have an inner peace, if you're suffering from a PTSD, if you're suffering and struggling from internal skeletons and internal enemies and internal voices and you don't have peace of mind and you don't have an inner peace, then what's the point of all the health and wealth and prosperity and all the other things that you have? אין כלי מחזיק ברכה אלא השלום. We spoke last night an analogy. You go shopping in the old days, the shopping bag was included in the markup of everything that you paid. Today now you got to buy the it's so degrading. You got to buy the bag to take your things, nebach. When you check out at Costco you got to rummage through like a dumpster like a homeless person to collect some boxes to put the bulk items you bought to try to get it from your truck home instead of carrying like huge shampoos and twenty tissue boxes under your arms, nebach. So you could do all the shopping in the world of life. You can go through life and you shop. And what'd you buy? All the delicacies and delicious things, first cut corned beef, charcuterie board, fine wine, herring for your herring bar, a kugel bar, you got it all, right? But if you don't have a bag to carry it out in, if you don't have a box to put it and carry it in, you could have, you could have bought, you could own all those things. If you have nothing to hold it, nothing to carry it, then what's the value of it? You have nothing. And that's shalom. אין כלי מחזיק ברכה אלא השלום, the nineteenth and last, the ultimate bracha, what we ask Hashem for is shalom, peace, outer peace and inner peace, peace with enemies outside and peace with our own inner enemies, because if we don't have peace, we could have all the health, wealth, prosperity, we could have shopped this world for all its delicacies, but if we have no kli, no vessel, nothing to hold it, then what do we have? So Hashem has a trust upstairs called shalom. I've got peace for you like you've never had. I've got shalom bayis. I've got inner harmony. There's nothing better than when you get there. If you experience it. And most of us we only get it in little increments. You know, you get into a what do they call it in sports? Not getting into the zone. You get into a not a groove, you get into a place called someone help me here? Sweet spot. It's like a sweet spot. You get into I'm with the wrong crowd. Okay. But it's not the truth is I was just reading an article in a business magazine. It's not only in sports, it's also in life and in business when you get into it's this place of like harmony, it's a place of peace, it's a place where you're like on fire, a place where everything's working and where you feel healthy and alive and things are clear and you have that confidence and you're in a zone. You're in that place. When you have an inner peace and an outer peace, when you feel good and confident, when you understand your mission and your purpose, when you have harmony and happiness with the people around you, there's no greater thing in the world, there's no bigger satisfaction in the world. When you give love and you have love, when you feel loved, when you have harmony, an inner peace, that's the greatest bracha, that's the kli machzik bracha, that's the vessel that holds everything. So Hashem put that in my trust fund. But now we have to take the initiative and the effort. I can't ignore my spouse, fight with my spouse, neglect my spouse, not care about what my spouse wants and say Hashem, drop me a little shalom bayis from the trust fund. I'd like to withdraw a little shalom bayis from the trust fund. Hashem looks down and says, hey clown, how about you practice a little shalom bayis? You can access the trust fund, but where's your initiative and effort? What are you doing? So it's not only money. Upstairs he has trust funds. They're labeled shalom bayis, health, money, happiness, purpose. There's all kinds of gifts he has for us. And what's the key that lets us access that trust? Tefila. It's asking him. It's the emuna bitachon of knowing it comes from Him and it's living a life of realizing that no one can touch it, no one can eliminate it, no one can remove it, no one can deplete it, no one can tap into it unless Hashem wills it. So in business no competitor, no competition, no competitor can take away what has been designated for me. And the fact that some other couple lives near me, a member of a family or a neighbor has so much shalom bayis. How come they're so happy and we're so miserable? I want some of what they have. No, no, no. What they have is for them, and Hashem has plenty for you, and now take your initiative and make your effort. And the simcha that they're celebrating and the nachas that they're getting, don't be jealous and don't be envious and don't feel you should have it instead of them, you could have it in addition to them, because Hashem doesn't have a finite amount of nachas. And if your neighbor got it, there's not enough left for you. Hashem doesn't have a finite amount of simchas, and if your neighbor's making a simcha, there's none for you to make. Hashem has endless and boundless nachas and simchas and health and wealth and happiness and peace. He has enough for everyone and He's designated what we're meant to get, He's designated in our trust what we're entitled to have. Now get to work. Take the initiative, make the effort because that's how we earn it and that's how He opens the key to it, that's how we withdraw from it. You have to make the withdrawal. ההשתדלות אינה מעלה ומורידה כחוט השערה. And the hishtadlus, the effort and initiative, they don't increase and they don't decrease what's in the trust whatsoever. וידע נאמנה כי אף אם נדרש להתגלגל בדרכים הקיקויים כדי שלא יקטרוג חס ושלום. ולכן יעשה זאת רק בדרך המותרת וככל שמשתנים פניו עוז וסימנו כי ביתו ימלא שובע רב בשפע והרחבה. If you try to access the trust, imagine there's a trustee. Imagine, it's fun to imagine this. There's a trustee who put five million dollars in a trust for you. Maybe it's a loved one, maybe it's a mentor of yours, maybe you won the lottery. A trustee put five million dollars in a trust for you. It says it's yours. Here are the conditions of the trust: you have to do A, B, and C, X, Y, and Z, you have to take this initiative and effort and you can access the trust, it's designated for you. And now you say, "Wow, thank you, that's game-changer, how that's going to enhance my life, five million dollars, it's unbelievable." But you know what? I'm worried and I'm anxious and what if and what will be and I don't know that you're going to give it to me and even if I meet those conditions will you make the transfer? So you know what you do? You try to break into the trust. You try to get there, steal their password and go into the trust and take from it. You try to call the bank and pretend you're the trustee and transfer to yourself. You try to do all kinds of ignoble and you try to do things that lack integrity in order to... So what does the trustee feel when they find out? Moron. I have a trust for you. It's filled with blessing, it's filled with bounty, it's filled with plenty. Yes, there are conditions, keep them and you can have it all. But when you're trying to access it in this circuitous way, when you're doing it in a way that lacks integrity and honesty, when you're trying to break into it, it means you don't trust me, and if you don't trust me, I'm not giving you the trust because I'm the trustee. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says that upstairs I have a trust that's called health, wealth, happiness, shalom bayis, nachas, simchas. He's got buckets and baskets and trusts with all the blessings that we could want. And He says, "I'm the trustee and each trust has conditions. You have to take your initiative, you have to make your effort in order to access it." But if you're going to go a circuitous route, if you're going to try to circumvent Me, if you're going to try to cheat the system, if you're going to act without honesty and integrity, if you're going to act without morality and ethics, then I'm taking you off the trust. I'm no longer designating it for you. So Hashem says I have something called parnassa, and no one can touch it. Not your biggest competitor, not the guy who's trying to steal from you. No one can touch it. The only thing that will make you not get it is your failure to earn it. You have to take an effort, you have to make initiative, you have to try to get it. And then Hashem finds you doing things dishonestly, lying and cheating in business, marketing or competing ruthlessly and recklessly, Hashem says, "You're trying to access my trust, what I've designated for you in this way? Forget about it. I'm taking your name off. I'm no longer designating it for you." So as we live our lives, chevra, the whole goal, the idea what Rav Avigdor Miller is trying to instill within us is to realize whatever we're going through, whatever we're navigating, whatever we have to endure, from missiles flying overhead to a fear of where will I get my next paycheck from, to working on dating and trying to find our bashert, understand and know that the answer's already been given above. And no one can touch it. No one can edit it or deplete it. No one can distort it or corrupt it. No one can touch it. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the Almighty is running the show, this is His world and He already has a plan and it's already been designated from above. It happens to be I have to make my effort, I have to take my initiative, I have to do the conditions in order to access what He's already... designated. But now I can live a life without stress and without panic, without fear and without anxiousness. Now I can live a life without paranoia, without envy and without jealousy because now I don't have to look at what everyone else has, that has nothing to do with what's been designated for me. I don't have to feel envious or angry or jealous. I don't have to ask why them not me. I can live a life calm, cool, collect. It's going to be what's going to be. There's a plan, it's going to happen, it's going to happen. In that twelve day war with Iran, you know just like the Six-Day War, we don't call it '67, we call it the Six-Day War. We're going to forever, our great-great-grandchildren are going to be calling it the twelve day war. They're going to forget the Six-Day War because the twelve day war was more miraculous than the Six-Day War. And in that twelve day war, we were worried everyone in their own way about their own thing and I'm just drawing this small one again back to camp. So it's possible you sat around your Shabbos table while the war raged and the airport was shut and you said what's going to be? We had all these plans for the summer, where are these kids going to go to camp? What am I going to do with them for these twelve, for these, for these two months? Am I going to get my money back? What's going to be? And panicked and worried and afraid and fearful. Or you could take that deep breath, that neshima to restore the neshama and say Hashem you've got a plan. So you know what, ישועת השם כהרף עין. Why don't we deal with it when it happens? Right now we don't know, maybe the airport will reopen, everything will go on schedule and our ruining our Shabbos, our meal, our time, our conversation is all for nothing. One thing I can promise and one thing I can guarantee: sitting around a Shabbos table and perseverating over what will be if camp is cancelled, where will they go, what will we do, will we get our money back, will they be happy, how's it going to happen, will there be space? Is not going to open the airport. It's not going to defeat Iran, it's not going to make anything better. All it will do is raise the decibel level of everybody speaking to each other, raise the blood pressure level of everybody in the conversation. There's no positive outcome to it other than depleting and robbing ourselves of our mental health, spiritual health, physical health. But if you can in these moments of life take that deep breath and realize Hashem's got a plan. And if the airport doesn't reopen and they can't go to camp in Israel then there's going to be something to do here and everyone will end up and be where they're meant to be. So would you pass the cholent? Because it's all going to be okay. What else do you want to talk about? Let's enjoy. There's nothing wrong with a healthy conversation that says is there a backup plan, is there a camp you'd want to go to if the airport doesn't open? But instead of being anxious and worried and afraid and angry, instead of forfeiting our sanity and our peace of mind and our happiness, take that deep breath, take that neshima to restore the neshama and say it's all going to be good. We're going to figure it out. Hashem always has a plan. There's a trust upstairs that says what this kid is going to do this summer. What that child is going to do this summer has already been determined before that child came into being. Now this summer had to come along, everything in it, and we have to live this adventure to find out what was already prescribed from the very beginning. מששת ימי בראשית Hakadosh Baruch Hu the Almighty already said what's going to happen with this kid this summer. We have to live this rollercoaster of life, we have to live this adventure to say we don't have a crystal ball, we don't get to look in and see the outcome, we have to live it in real time. And we don't get to know. You know how many people in shidduchim tell me if I had a crystal ball I could look in and it said you're going to have to date 142 people and you're going to have to date for two and a half years and then you're going to meet the most wonderful person to live the happiest life and you're going to marry them, no problem, I could do it, I'm up for it, I got it. The problem is that we don't get that crystal ball and we don't see the outcome and we don't have a picture, we don't get we don't get in the mail the statement of what's in the trust. We just have to live life on this adventure and this rollercoaster and believe that there is an outcome, there is a result, and we'll find it and we'll figure it out once we get there. But here's what we do have, and this is what Rav David Abuchatzeira is emphasizing: we have a relationship with the trustee. We have the most incredible relationship with the trustee. And anytime you panic, just talk to the trustee and hear the trustee telling you you're good to go. I can't give you a statement, I'm not going to tell you the account balance, I can't tell you what's in it, I can't tell you what you get. But what I can tell you is you're going to be okay. There's a plan, nothing's random, there's a trust, I'm in charge and you're going to be okay. What's going to happen this summer, what's going to happen with parnassa, when will that shidduch come, what's the plan for life? You're going to be okay. אך ביתר עומק יש לומר מכך כי אם כל תכלית השתנות פניו אם למנוע קטרוג הרי שבידו לפעול זאת לא השתנות פניו כי כאשר אדם מתהלך בדרכיו ומשים עצמו עני שאינו נהנה וזן עיניו מכל מנעמי העולם החלוק מהפנים ומקיים ולא תסורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם בהידור פועל בהנהגתו זו שלא יצטרך לבוא להשתנות. panav vetzurato. כי השיג התחבולה שנראה בעיני האומות ושרים כעניים, וממילא ישפיע עליו הזן ומפרנס מקרני ראמים ועד ביצי כינים, שפע רב בביתו ביותר מאשר ישנה פניו בדרכים. מאחר שעושה רצון השם ושמר עיניו שלא לזון חלילה מכל דבר רע. You can learn a lot from a person's disposition, their demeanor. How do we walk around in life? Does somebody see in our face tension, fear, anxiety, anger, envy, or do we walk around in life with a menuchas hanefesh, an inner peace, a serenity and a tranquility? What do you mean, but they report the war, what's going to be? Yeah, we'll find out how it ends. There's an adventure, I don't know the outcome, but Hashem's got a plan and it's all going to be good and I'm along for the ride. Another date, another shidduch, another resume, more reference calls, it's part of the adventure of life. It's okay to be frustrated by it, it's okay to be annoyed by it, it's okay to not want it, it's okay to want to accelerate it, but after all those feelings, leaning in and validating and justifying and feeling reasonable that those decisions are all understandable, to then say it's part of Hashem's plan. So what demeanor do we project? Do we wear the emunah on our face? Our panim is the pnim. The word panim, face, is the pnim, it reflects what's happening inside. So when you're calm and serene and tranquil and happy and smile, you reflect that on the inside you're at peace. And when on the inside you're a mess, when on the inside your kishkas are in knots, when on the inside you're falling apart, your face, you're demonstrating, you're displaying, you're wearing that too. What does our panim say about our pnim? What does our face say about what's going on inside? And does it reflect the emunah and the bitachon that we're meant and supposed to have? Because a person who's happy, a person who knows Hashem, it's annoying this adventure, we'll see how it turns out, it's maybe deeply even painful, but I know it's with purpose, and therefore I can on my face show a certain calm and a certain serenity and a certain inner, inner peace, inner peace. We shouldn't see ourselves, again going back to Edison, Edison, right, the light bulb. If every time he failed in those hundreds of experiments he walked around like, I'm a failure, I'm an oysvorf, I'm a nothing, I'm a loser, so then you put that energy into the universe, that's how you're perceived, it's who you are and it's what you become. But the energy he put into the universe was, ooh, I just finished another step in the discovery of the light bulb. It was one that didn't work, but I learned something from it. I just got a little bit closer. You can be set up with someone, go on a date and say, what a waste of time, what a waste of time and money and energy and effort and emotion, I can't believe it, that was miserable, that was a fail. Or you could say, ooh, I just got another step closer to finding the right one. What did I learn from that about myself and about the other person? What did I learn from that about the process? Which questions I should ask, what's important to find out? What did I learn from that? You could lose or you could learn. In life, the athletes who break through, they never lose a game. Every game they lost, they learned. So they've never lost a game in their life. You could fail or you could fail forward. You could fail backward or you could fail forward. So when there's a Ribbono Shel Olam and there's an Almighty in your world, when you know everything is for a purpose, it's not random, it's not chance, it's carefully curated from above, when you know the trustee has a trust fund filled with shefa bracha for you, these are just the conditions and steps in the experiment to access it, then you never failed, you just had another, completed another step towards that discovery, towards that discovery. That's what this is all about and that is on our panim. We wear and we express, we display what is in our pnim. כן יעזור השם שישפוך עלינו ממרום שפע רב בבתינו בלא שנאלץ להשחיר פנינו בגלגולי דרכים, ותחול הברכה עלינו בשפע רב ובמאור פנים. What do we daven for? Shabbos Mincha, which is the biggest eis ratzon of the week. Ra'avah d'ra'avin, shalosh seudos, the holiest time of the week. And I'm not going to break into my polemic about shalosh seudos and ra'avah d'ra'avin and the holiest time of the week, though it's changed my life leaning into it. ואני תפילתי לך השם עת רצון we say at Shabbos Mincha. Shabbos Mincha is the holiest time of the week. It's the Neila of Shabbos, the Piazecna Rebbe writes. The Neila of Shabbos is shalosh seudos. Nebach! Okay, maybe I will break into it for five seconds. Nebach! Nebach so many people dismiss, they neglect, they forfeit shalosh seudos. Do I have to eat it? Can I be yotzei with a mezonos or with a little bit of fruit? Do I have to have it? I'll just have divrei Torah. Can I count that I went to three kiddushes this morning? Really, all I'm looking is, when does Shabbos end? What time is it out? What's the soonest we can daven Maariv so we can end Shabbos at the earliest time possible? Nebach! This is the Neila of Shabbos, the holiest time of the week. of the week, it's an eis ratzon. We Klal Yisroel are in an eis tzara, and that time of the week is an eis ratzon. It is the time of the week where Hashem is most available, accessible, the holiest time of the week where we build worlds together. You know why at shalosh seudos? When did Hashem start to create the world? Yom rishon is the first day of creation, right? What's Yom rishon? Sunday. Now, in Judaism the day follows the night, so when did creation begin? Motzei Shabbos on Saturday night. When if Hashem began to create the world punkt, exactly when Shabbos ended, exactly on Saturday night he began creation, when did he decide to create a world? Shalosh seudos. Ra'ava d'ra'avin is Aramaic for ratzon she'b'ratzonos. When did Hashem have the ratzon, the will, the drive, the decision to create a world? Exactly during twilight of Shabbos afternoon. That's the eis ratzon. That's when Hashem creates worlds. That's when we can envision and picture and decide to create our world. That's shalosh seudos. It's Ra'ava d'ra'avin, it's ratzon she'b'ratzonos. It's a time to sit, to sing, to think, to love, to laugh. It's a time that we minimize the eating and the food, we're yotze shalosh seudos with a little bit of bread, but really our neshama is yeseira, our neshama is on fire. It's the eis ratzon of Shabbos. It's the eis ratzon of Shabbos. It's the holiest time of the week of Shabbos. So what do we say at Shabbos Mincha? We ask Hakadosh Baruch Hu מנוחת אהבה ונדבה, מנוחה שלום ושלווה, menuchas bet. We want Hakadosh Baruch Hu, give us true menucha. What's menucha? Menucha is not like Shabbos menucha when you shluf. Menucha is not just about your sleep. What's menucha? Inner peace. Give me the tranquility, the serenity. Give me the peace of mind to know that you're by my side, that your arm is around my shoulder, that whatever I'm going through it's with you. Give me the inner peace and the tranquility to know nothing can throw me for a loop, nothing will jar me, nothing will trigger me, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu I know it's all from you, and you are with me and you give me the strength and you give me everything I need in order to endure it. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, give me a menucha emes v'emuna. A menucha of shalom v'shalva. A menucha, give me true menucha. Give me true inner peace, true serenity. That's what we ask for and that's what we want and that's what we're capable of when we lean into... It doesn't matter what. How many people reached out to me from their bomb shelters with picture of the Tehillim on the wall? I'm embracing my place, I'm letting go and letting God. I am where I'm meant to be. And therefore instead of panicking and instead of... Hakadosh Baruch Hu's got a plan. This is the greatest tool for life. It can bring happiness and fulfillment and satisfaction and enhances all relationships and it can give us the courage and the confidence and the clarity to get through and to accomplish and achieve whatever we're meant to. But it's all about remembering because it's so easy to forget. It's so easy to forget when life throws at us all that it does, it's so easy to forget to embrace that emuna muscle, to see through those emuna glasses. It's so easy to forget he's behind it all. That's why we're part of a community and we're encouraging one another and we're growing together. So we'll pick up next week, we're on the next page, mem aleph, if you want get your own copy, ArtScroll produced an Emuna u'Bitachon. We're going to turn off the recording and stream. We have a couple of minutes left for questions and answers and anything that may be on your mind. It should be a day that we hear besoros tovos.
