Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov, welcome to Living with Emuna, same shiur, new time. Very excited to be beginning at 9:00 AM. Some of you look much better rested than usual. So I'm so happy we have our new time. I want to just remind a couple of things for the new format. First of all, Yocheved gave a great idea, which is we're going to do the Tehillim before shiur. Now that we've moved to nine, come at ten to nine or five to nine to complete all of Sefer Tehillim for Chol Yisrael, the hostages, the soldiers. We'll give out the pamphlets. So going forward, we'll now do it before and everyone can stay and still socialize and talk and shmooze after without the pressure of saying Tehillim. So Tehillim we'll add to beforehand. Shiur is now at 9:00 AM. When the shiur is over, we're going to, as we always do, turn the stream and the recording off, but stay for 15 more minutes. And this suggestion, very grateful for, to open it to questions and answers on any topic. People often have a lot to say or ask about Emuna, and we don't interrupt during the shiur itself for the benefit of those who are watching or listening, so it flows smoothly, but in order to be able to interact. That is only for those who are here in person. So if you're watching online and you live locally, start coming in person. If you're watching online and you don't live locally, if you live in Israel stay where you are, and if you don't, it's time, it's time to move, it's time to move. So we're going to begin the shiur. Feel free to listen to the shiur, but somewhere in the back of your mind think of questions on any topic: Halacha, Hashkafa, sensitive, non-sensitive, whatever topic we're going to try to tackle. Maybe Yocheved will even join me on this side of the table to answer them together, and that is only for those who come in person. Emuna shiur is generously sponsored by Dr. Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Shanzer, and for a shmira for the Israeli soldiers and hostages. We remain so grateful to the Morgans for their generosity. This morning's shiur is sponsored by Jamie and Jeff Merriman-Cohen in honor of Sammy's graduation from University of Miami. You are where you're meant to be. Love, Mom and Dad. Should have a lot of nachas. By Michael Meiner, huge thank you too, BRS for the weekly Emuna chizuk which helps appreciate recognize Hashem everyday life to overcome challenges. Thank you so much for the generosity. We'll begin as we always do with some Emuna emails and stories and then dive into the text and learn together. So first I'll tell you because I love to share with you my own personal ones. I have a study in my house, a Beis Medrash filled with Sefarim and my desk and my setup. And my setup for my computer, I have a keyboard and mouse there, and I have a power cord for my laptop so that when I work from home I can conveniently and easily plug in. I have one in shul and I have one at home and two cockpits where I can sit and do my work and I'm ready to go. And the other day for whatever reason I was working at home and I come and I put my laptop down and there's no power cord. And that is a hate crime. I called the ADL. No, that is a registered hate crime. When someone in your family takes your cord and doesn't tell you, doesn't ask, doesn't return it, that's a hate crime. So I put on our family WhatsApp group: "Who took the laptop cord from my office and please bring it back?" Dead silence. And then I put, of course, the question mark, which basically, "Somebody answer me." To which one of my courageous children writes: "Abba, your power cord is where it's meant to be." Yes. So that was my punishment for giving this shiur is that now when my car's not in the driveway or my power cord is not in my office or anything of mine is no longer mine, now it's thrown in my face by my children that it is where it's meant to be. So I would like to clarify. And I added it to the table of contents of my forthcoming book, "Embrace Your Place: You Are Where You're Meant To Be," to be published and released sometime in the next 50 years, I hope, please God. And I'd like to clarify because it's important. "Embrace Your Place" and "You Are Where You're Meant To Be" does not mean to be passively fatalistic, complacent, apathetic, does not mean to shirk taking responsibility or ownership, does not mean to try to change your future or destiny, does not mean to not take achrayus or responsibility. You can't take something that belongs to someone else and say it is where it, I steal your car and then tell you your car is where it's meant to be. The Torah and Halacha have responsibility, liability, there's such a thing as a Beis Din, you can take someone to Beis Din, deserve to be remunerated or compensated or made whole if somebody injured or harmed or stole. Achrayus, responsibility, extreme ownership. This philosophy is specific and particular to when a person has undertaken all the initiative and hishtadlus they feel is reasonable and appropriate. And now they've let go and let God and leave it in the hands of God, at that point, embrace your place. So you did what you should have or thought you could do and now you're stuck in traffic. Now the flight's delayed, now the flight was cancelled. You did what you thought you could or should do and you're struggling to pay your bill. You did what you could or should or what's reasonable to go to a doctor, take your medication, undergo your treatment and therapy, at that point embrace your place, you are where you're meant to be. But when a person acts irresponsibly or unkindly, inappropriately, irresponsibly, fix it! Get out of your place and go where you're meant to go. Don't stay and say this is where I meant to be. So basically put my power cord back when you take it. Don't tell me it's where it's meant to be. The truth is they're right. In that moment, take a deep breath, don't indulge the instinct towards anger. We learned all about in Mesilas Yesharim and then again in Iggeres HaRamban and early this morning now we're learning in Tanya, the same themes keep coming up. Don't ever get angry, don't fly off the handle, don't be filled with rage, don't write something that you'll never be able to take back, don't hurt or damage a relationship that'll be hard to fix all over a power cord, as big of a hate crime as it is. Stay calm, cool, and collected. Don't get angry because taka your power cord is where it's meant to be. But you could also hold the person responsible who took it to say please don't do that again, please return it right away, let's have some protocols about if or when we can take things that belong to others. So it's not a stira and it's not an answer and it's not a cop-out to tell someone it is where it's meant to be. If you were supposed to pick up the dry cleaning, if you're supposed to put your socks in the hamper, if you're supposed to cover the cap with the toothpaste, your life answer can't be everything is where it's meant to be. It's your problem, it's where it's meant to be. No, take responsibility, take extreme ownership, and be the person you're supposed to be. And the other person should interpret life, the other person should find the capacity to stay calm, cool, and collected because they realize if Hashem wanted me to have my power cord right here, that person wouldn't have taken it or they would have put it back. Clearly Hashem is okay with my not having it here because in this moment there's something I am supposed to learn, there's a test I am supposed to overcome, there's a way I am supposed to learn from it. But that doesn't excuse the person who didn't put it back taking responsibility, apologizing, and making sure to always put it back in the future. So that is the story of and that's what I wrote back to the said child who wrote Abba your power cord is where it's meant to be, I simply wrote back thank you for giving me my next Emuna Shiur. So if they're going to throw it in my face, I'm going to talk about them every Emuna Shiur. Okay, onto the letters. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, thank you for your lessons, it really helps me think differently and makes my day much better even if it doesn't go according to plan. Here's something that happened last week. It was quite a busy week and I received a message that a couple from our community were in the hospital, which is quite a bit way from where I live. I was trying to work out how I could fit in a visit to them. This is a person who is a Rebbetzin. Thank God I managed to find the time. I drove over to the hospital. I baked challah that morning and as I was walking to the hospital holding the challah, a man at the entrance saw me and said, is that challah? I love challah. He went on to tell me how he used to work near where we live and would go to a bakery there regularly. He always looked forward to buying fresh challah. I smiled and I said that's so nice, I'm so glad you like challah, I'm really sorry, I'm actually bringing this to someone today, but maybe another time I can come back and bring you some. He gave me directions to find the couple I'd come to visit and I made my way down the stairs, turned whichever way I was told to go and arrived at the ward. I asked the nurse if they had the patient, the woman I'd been told about. They looked at me blankly. No, they said, we don't have anyone by that name. I explained I got a message asking for a visit, it was for her and her husband. The nurse then checked and said oh yeah, they went home yesterday. I just laughed. I honestly felt so grateful to work for Hashem. You see when you work for a company or have a set plan for the day and something doesn't go the way you expected, it can be frustrating. But when you work for Hashem, it doesn't matter because if Hashem didn't want me to visit anyone that day, that's fine, I did my part. I tried to do the right thing and that's what matters. As I was walking back up the stairs, I remembered the man at the entrance who said he loved challah and suddenly I felt even more excited. I saw him again, chatted to someone else and I said, this is your lucky day. I explained the couple I'd come to visit weren't there anymore and so I was happy to give him the challah instead. He got a hot fresh challah that day and I got to feel that maybe this whole trip was just so I could bring joy to one man who for whatever reason really loves challah. Thinking about it now, I don't know if Hashem wanted this man to have challah or maybe Hashem just wanted me to feel better about my wasted trip. Either way, I get to thank Hashem and recognize I'm just a pawn in Hashem's world. I hope and daven Hashem uses me to do good things and make someone else's day. Thanks again, signed by a Rebbetzin. I won't say what continent or country or city. But a beautiful attitude and a beautiful way to live life, to wake up every day and to say I work for Him, He doesn't work for me. And if I work for Him, what's my assignment, where am I meant to go, and how does that assignment switch, and how do I pivot? And I'll find out what it is on this adventure called life because I work for Him. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, love listening to the Emuna Shiur, always wanted to send something in. email that would be read over, but nothing ever came up that I felt worthwhile until now. Two weeks ago I was in the car and to be honest, I usually listen to some sports or political podcast and not the Emunah Shiur, but that day I was feeling pretty down and I needed some chizuk, so I decided to put the shiur on. Usually you begin by reading the emunah emails, but the shiur I happened to be listening to started off differently. The very first thing you started talking about was bringing your kids to the T-Mobile store on Chol HaMoed, and you were wearing a polo shirt that you weren't so proud of. Now I have not been to a T-Mobile store in over two years and I haven't listened to your shiur in six months, but at that very moment I found myself listening to your shiur in the car on the way to the T-Mobile store. I know you can easily consider it a coincidence, but I felt really that Hashem was with me at that moment and it wasn't a big coincidence. You are where you're meant to be. I know the story's not as powerful as someone getting healed from illness or finding a shidduch, but I felt it was a cool meaningful moment and I wanted to share, and now maybe I should start listening to your podcast more often. Okay, next: Dear Rabbi, I recently started to listen to your podcast and I'm hooked. We randomly put on one of your shiurim as we were driving to the ohel of the Rebbe, and the discussion started with the Rebbe. It was my daughter's first time listening and she had chills. In a different podcast you mentioned that your wife is a shadchan. Is there any way I can possibly get in touch with her for my daughter? That is a separate topic. But anyway, they were on their way to the ohel and the shiur they happened to put on, I happened to start by talking about the Rebbe. There are no coincidences. There are no coincidences. Okay, maybe one or two more. Thank God so many come in and I'm so grateful. I read them all, I grow from them all. Please continue to write them. I think it's a worthwhile exercise to write it even if it's not read or read that week. Thanks for the shiur. I wanted to share a crazy story that happened this past week. I'd signed up for a bike ride in honor of an Israeli amputee organization, 35 miles this past Sunday. I was excited, committed, and planned to go with a friend, but on Friday I suddenly remembered my bike was still at the shop for service. I figured no problem, I'll pick it up. I was totally confident the store would be open until 5:00 PM because they always are. But when I got there, I saw a handwritten sign on the door, "Closed early today." No explanation, no one answered the phone. And just like that, there was no way to get my bike before the ride. I came home right before Shabbos stunned. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had planned, prepared, trained, and now I wasn't going to go just because I didn't have a bike. Over Shabbos I tried to stay calm. I didn't have a big dramatic end to the story. Nothing happened to the riders, there was no twist to show me why I missed the ride, and yet I felt something shift. I had a whole conversation with Hashem. Yes, I even yelled a little. I said, "If You don't want me to go fine, but please help me be calm about it." I wasn't perfect, but I didn't fall apart. I chose calm over anger. I celebrated Mother's Day with my family and it was meaningful in its own way. I still don't know why it happened, maybe I never will, but I wanted to share this in case someone else is going through something hard with no clear ending or reason. Not always about finding the meaning, it's about finding yourself in how you respond. Thank you again for all your inspiration. Now as you know, these are my favorite emails because it wasn't that and it turned out a big gust of wind knocked over all the bikers, so it's good I wasn't there. You know, it wasn't a big pothole and they all fell in and they had to climb out and they were okay, but there is no ending. There's no great and it turns out I didn't go, but instead I bought a lottery ticket and I won the lottery and there is no great ending. Instead, there is, "I still don't know why, but I love this line: it's not always about finding the meaning, it's about finding yourself in how you respond." So we're all tested every day, hopefully in small ways, not the big ones, but this is frustrating: to train, to get ready, to be prepared, and then to not go because of somebody wrote on a door they left early that day for no reason. But to a certain extent, when someone does something so unusual, such an aberration with no explanation, it's almost easier to know that it comes from God. Store's supposed to be open till that hour, it always is, closed early that day for no reason with a little note and no explanation or phone number. It clearly wasn't meant to be. Why we don't know, but it wasn't meant to be. So whether you waited for a doctor's appointment and the doctor has to run out and tell you too bad, or your bike is still in the shop, but that capacity to stay calm, to keep it together, and to realize you can't always find the meaning, but you can find yourself, and in those moments we find ourselves. Not always the moments with the great, "Oh, it turned out and he put on the right shiur and it turned out and the coincidence and it turned out perfectly." Those are great moments, but the greatest moments, the emunah moments is when we don't know why and yet a person does it anyway. Okay, there are so many more I wanted to get to, but let's get back to our text together, and I want to get back to our text together and pivot back with one more email which is in fact a devar Torah. Where did it go? Here it is. Here it is. Okay. A lot of trees die for this shiur. Sorry. Okay. Okay, Rabbi Goldberg, good morning. I want to thank you for another amazing Shabbos experience in Boca. My visit was short, it was worth every minute. Speeches, thank you for I'm instead of yada yada, I would suggest that I say thank you for the compliments and then continue. Thank you for the compliments. At Shalosh Seudos you said something and it reminded me of what I encountered three weeks ago and I wanted to share it. Reb Meilech Biderman would love such a story and I hope you will as well. You said, yes, we in Boca can make a difference in the results of what will happen this week in the Middle East. At Shalosh Seudos I was talking about the fact that it doesn't matter where we are, doesn't matter who we think we are, how small we think we are, every one of us have an impact and we don't know which of our tefillah, which of our prayers, is going to tip the scale. Which one of us is going to make that difference? Which one of us will be the butterfly that flaps its wings that brings that tsunami of goodness and merit in Israel or for Jews around the world? And I talked about that in a particular dvar Torah and I said it there for a reason. So the author of the email writes, some in the audience may think the rabbi's a motivational speaker, doesn't really apply to me, let me share what I encountered recently. My wife and I host many baalei teshuvah chevra for Shabbos meals through our relationship with a particular organization. We schmooze, we sing, geshmak divrei Torah. Three weeks ago I was repeating a thought I had heard a while ago where the person said why if someone says Mashiv HaRuach when they're not supposed to do they have to repeat Shemoneh Esrei? This is a great vort and I never heard this. You know, there are certain insertions in our Amidah that we say only some times of the year. So for example משיב הרוח ומוריד הגשם we say from Succos to Pesach. That is the rainy season, so that's when we acknowledge God as the source of rain because the Gemara tells us that while God has given us the keys to this world and He said this is My world, study it, learn it, conquer it, manipulate it, control it, there are three keys I hold you'll never have. One of them is the weather, which we know well. We faced a hurricane yesterday because there's not enough going on, there was an earthquake that impacted Israel. We can't control, we don't have the keys to control the weather. No matter what we do, no matter how far we advance, you could type into AI and ChatGPT all you want, how can I stop a hurricane? And it will not give you the answer because God holds the key. And the key to fertility. We advance, we grow, we have extraordinary labs, we're doing amazing things, but ultimately even the fertility specialists will tell you that when they mix the ingredients in that lab in that petri dish, whether it will result in a healthy child is still a key that Hashem holds onto. And Techiyas HaMeisim, the resurrection of the dead. All three, rain, fertility, and resurrection are really one and the same, which is life. God holds the key to life. With all that we advance and grow and all that we do, He holds that key to life. So we say משיב הרוח ומוריד הגשם, we acknowledge God as the source of rain in the rainy season. What if you say Mashiv HaRuach in the wrong season? What if you said it after Pesach? You've got to repeat the Amidah. You said the wrong thing, you've got to start again. Similarly we say v'Sein Bracha or ותן טל ומטר לברכה in the bracha of Bareich Aleinu. We switch based on the season because whether we're actually asking for rain. So the kasha, the author of this email asked, the question is, I don't understand, there's millions of Jews, tens of millions of Jews in the world. Let's pretend or hope or wish for a moment they all say the Amidah. So 20 million Jews are saying the Amidah and they got it right. They didn't ask for rain when it's not the rainy season. And you, one person, not paying attention, forgot, and you said the wrong thing. Why do you have to repeat the Amidah? What are you going to mess it up? Now it's going to rain because you said it? It's only one person making the mistake, the rest of the Jewish people are getting it right. Why do you have to repeat the Amidah? Will one person's inappropriate tefillah override so many appropriate, that Hashem will bring rain? The power of each person's tefillah that yes, your tefillah, although a mistake, is so chashuv by Hashem that He may change the weather and that's why we need to repeat it. As I'm explaining this idea to these two baalei teshuvah, one who recently became religious, let me tell, let me tell what happened to me. I was starting my journey to become religious, I had a really tough time breaking up with my non-Jewish girlfriend. I knew it can't work with her around, so I decided to relocate to California for a year and start the detachment process. As I arrived to LA, I felt alone and isolated. That's why it's called LA, lo aleinu. I was joking, sorry, I'm joking, that's my friend Gershish's joke, we love people from LA, it's amazing, it's wonderful, it's great, nothing wrong with it. It's not my joke. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing, so I decided to talk to Hashem. It was during a very dry spell for months. Water restrictions and all, so I said to Hashem, if I'm doing the right thing and You support my decision by becoming religious, by trying to distance and unravel my life from this non-Jewish girlfriend, show me rain today. He continues with emotion. Can you imagine? It poured that night. And then I was convinced I was on the right path. The journey is in full bloom. He's shtaiging away. This young man was validating my vort. He also gave me a jolt to teach me the commitment to Yiddishkeit and the power of each individual prayer. Hope it is a fitting message to yes, we in Boca can effectuate the outcome in the Middle East. Have a great successful week, continue to be mashpia all that you do. I'm so grateful for this email and I love that dvar Torah. I love that. So grateful for this email and I love that *devar Torah*. I love that *devar Torah*. There are similar *divrei Torah* of the *Kohen Gadol* when he exits the *Kodesh Hakodashim*, the High Priest on the holiest day of the year. Holiest man, holiest day of the year, leaves the holiest place and he offers a prayer. In that prayer, we reference it on our *Yom Kippur*, he says, "God, don't listen to the heartfelt prayers of those who are travelers." Why? What's the explanation, the deeper meaning? Why is the *Kohen Gadol* thinking about that then? Because after *Yom Kippur* on *Succos* we're going to begin to ask for rain. And if you're a traveler, the last thing in the world you want is rain. Because if you were driving two days ago here in South Florida, it was miserable. Making your way in a downpour even within the comfort and shelter of a car is inconvenient at best and dangerous. But what if you're walking? What if your entire family, young children, elderly parents, are in a caravan making their way and there's mudslides, there's rain? It's dangerous. It's downright dangerous. So, the *Kohen Gadol* on his way out is saying, "God, don't listen to the heartfelt prayer of the traveler who says don't make it rain because the Jewish people need rain." Why does the *Kohen Gadol*—God's going to listen to his prayer over the need of all of Israel and the Jewish people? And the answer is, you can't compete with a heartfelt prayer. The most sincere, authentic, genuine, real heartfelt prayer can change worlds, can impact the universe, the cosmos. And so, yeah, one moment of someone who says stays, next week comes early, to say *Tehillim* can impact the Houthis continuing to firing ballistic missiles at our children and grandchildren who are running to shelters in the middle of the night and during the day. This lousy Houthis, it's insane at this point, shooting missiles over the head of the President who's visiting Saudi Arabia who made a deal with them for him, for us in America, but the missiles, the brazenness over his head in Saudi Arabia to Israel. And we knocked them down and we'll keep knocking them down. But one that, thank God, didn't injure let alone kill anybody, but landed near an airport. So now airlines found their excuse to cancel once again. And how many lives are—so there's no casualties of these missiles, but how many casualties of people who couldn't fly for *simchas*, who couldn't attend events, who can't be reunited with family, who can't go back and forth? Those are also casualties of these lousy low-life Houthis. So what are you doing about it here in Boca? Because maybe your *Tehillim*, maybe your heartfelt thought, maybe your moment in *Shma Koleinu* in your *Amidah* where you say, "To heck with the Houthis." It's a new hashtag. Where you say, "Enough with the Houthis," maybe God will say, "You know, that person, maybe they're not the righteous, maybe they're not the most learned, maybe they don't give the most *tzedakah*, but that came from the depth of their heart and so you know what, it's time." We don't know. That's the power. One person gets משיב הרוח ומוריד הגשם wrong, they have to repeat the *Amidah* because one person can change the whole destiny, the whole trajectory, the whole future. And who knows if that one person is you? Who knows if God is waiting for your prayer? So you're sitting it out, you're outsourcing it, you're delegating it, you're waiting for another. Who knows if *Hashem* is waiting for your heartfelt prayer, for yours? It's not enough to wait and to leave it for someone else and that's not, as he writes, just a motivational speech to get someone going. I'm talking to myself and to all of us. I mean that for us. We're on page *Lamed Zayin*, *Emuna U'bitachon*. *Rav David Abuchatzeira* *Shlita* has been talking about *Ratzon yireia'v ya'aseh*, *hishtadlus bederech haTorah*. Yes, we take initiative. Yes, we make effort. Yes, we have to be a partner with God in influencing and controlling our destiny, but within reason. Not excessive, not extreme, not too much. Excessive *hishtadlus*, excessive initiative, is a failure of faith. Too little initiative is counterfeit faith. You gotta find just the right amount. *Lefichach*, we're in the middle of the right-hand column, page *Lamed Zayin*, page 37, *Emuna Bitachon*. לפיכך אדם המאמין יקיים ואף יהדר בקיום מצוותיו יתברך ובכך יקדש את השם בעולם. Excuse me, this is where we last left off last week. A person who believes, who has an ongoing relationship with *Hashem*, who genuinely talks to *Hashem* and listens in this world in the different ways that *Hashem* is talking to us. So many of these emails. I happen to put on that podcast, I happen to go that way, I happen to meet that man who wanted a *challah*, I happen to—*Hashem* is talking to us all day. Are we listening? Is the antenna extended? Are those little interactions and those little moments winks and nods and hugs from *Hashem*? You know, the worst thing in the world is if someone's winking at you and you don't wink back, you don't acknowledge them back, you don't nod back. That person feels pretty fool. If you've been that person, you know what I'm talking about. Try to make eye contact. Try to wink, try to nod, give someone a hug and you get a dead fish. It's the worst. If Hashem is giving you a hug by making something work out in such a way that he reminds you I'm here. So there's a drought, but he made it rain because you said show me a sign. Or the many other different ways he does. If he's giving you a hug and you give him a dead fish, you're giving him a cold body back, you're not reciprocating that hug. If he's winking and you're not acknowledging the wink, the Rambam writes this. I'll just tell you, I think I've shared this before. The Rambam talks about, he says fast days. Why do we fast on fast days? Why do we fast on fast days? Bnei tzaros. There were calamities, tragedies. And they were because we were unworthy, we were undeserving. God had to catch our attention, he brought a tragedy, we woke up, we turned to him, we prayed, we improved, we repaired, we became better. So the Rambam there writes that, and he's quoting from the Tochacha, Parshat Bechukotai, אם תלכו עמי בקרי, if we walk with God, keri means lashon mikre. The word keri comes from the word chance, happenstance, random. If we interact with God that everything is random, it's chance, it's happenstance, then God will withdraw his countenance, his providence, his interaction, his supervision and we will be subject to the elements, we'll be subject to what happens in the world. So what does it mean? And the Rambam uses a language there, he says if you live your life and see world events that are happening in the world or events that are happening to you individually as being random or chance or happenstance, it's achzariyut, it's cruel. That's a peculiar word. Maybe it lacks faith, maybe it lacks emuna bitachon, maybe it lacks religious belief. Where's the cruelty? If you go through life callously living life, casually living life and you just say yeah, it's all random, it's all chance, it's all happenstance, I don't think it's from God, I don't know if God knows, I don't know if God cares, I don't think God's involved, I think it's just natural, I think it's just chance. You're foolish, you're mistaken, you're dead wrong, you lack faith. But cruel? Why is it cruel? Where's the cruelty in this? So at our sheva brachot a few years ago, kaf iyar, my anniversary coming up, Casey you need to be reminded, I remember, kaf iyar. My brother-in-law Zvi Yosef said the following dvar Torah. He said why is it cruel? And this was his message for marriage, that's why he said it at our sheva brachot. He said why does the Rambam call that cruelty? Because if someone is calling you, if someone is calling you, they're trying to capture your attention, they're trying to grab your attention. They're nodding, they're winking, they're calling you and you ignore them, you neglect them, you fail to acknowledge them, that's downright cruel. It's obnoxious, it's mean. You ever have the experience, you're calling someone in the other room, they're so lost in their technology, they're so distracted in what they're doing, they don't answer, they don't even acknowledge you, you're calling them and calling them and calling them, you're looking at them, you're winking, you're nodding, you're hugging them and they're ignoring you. If you're ignored when you're making a gesture, an effort to connect, that is cruel. Says the Rambam, when God interacts with us, he is communicating. He's nodding, he's winking, he's calling our name. And when we just write it off, it's random, it's chance, it's nature, it's midat achzariyut, it's cruel, it's cruel. So when a person makes a bid for connection, reciprocate. We've spoken about this in the context of John Gottman, the great authority on marriage, who talks about, maybe in our question and answer we'll get into this, depending what questions you have, but he talks about people make a bid for connection and how we reciprocate, how we respond to that bid for connection will determine the health and the wellness of our relationship. The response to a bid for connection can be turning towards, can be turning away, can be turning against. There are three possibilities. Someone comes home from the mall and says I'm back from my shopping. So turning towards is oh fantastic, did you find anything? What'd you buy? How was it? Did you enjoy? Turning against is you went to the mall again? How much did you spend this time? We can't afford it, you're a shopaholic, you're an addict, it's ridiculous, why do you keep going to the mall? And turning away is not even acknowledging the person who just walked in and said I'm home because you're so busy watching the game or answering the text or doing what you're doing, you don't even acknowledge. And Gottman talks about the ratio in a healthy marriage, how many times you have to turn towards versus turning away or against in order to have a healthy marriage. And I love that insight, not only because it's scientifically and data-based, but because I think it's all about what the keruvim are. In the Mishkan and the Beit HaMikdash on top of the aron were these two keruvim, these two cherub child-like figurines and the Gemara tells us that when we were close with Hashem they faced each other. face each other, and when we neglected Hashem they were turned away from each other, and the image they essentially had was turning towards versus turning away and turning against and a reminder that not only in our human relationships and interaction, in marriage, parents and children, friends, do we have to make more of an effort to respond positively to bids for connection, but it also means in our relationship with Hashem. And that's what me'ah brachos are. A hundred times a day we make a bid for connection with Hashem. He makes bid for connections with us, when you got that parking spot, when you put on the right podcast, when the thing worked out, that's his bid for connection with us, and our response, our reciprocation, our bid for a connection with him is the hundred brachos we make a day. Hashem it's not just a cup of water, this is an opportunity to check in, to say hi, to say thank you, to remember that you created not only the water but the whole ambiance and the whole experience that I have when I take a sip of this water. He makes bid for connections with us and we turn towards. We use that experience to turn towards and make that bid for connection with him. So writes Rav David Abuhatzeira: לפיכך אדם המאמין יקיים ואף יהדר בקיום מצוותיו. A person who believes will fulfill and even not only fulfill, will beautify and elevate their experience of doing mitzvos and then they will sanctify God's name. כל מקום כל הבריאה של הקדוש ברוך הוא במעשה המצוה מתברר שכל עשייתו בעולם הינם תחת ממשלתו ומלכותו. And here's what we left off last week and into this week's parsha, parshas Emor. ונקדשתי בתוך בני ישראל אני השם אלקיכם. God says, here's your job. Here's your mission. You ready? Here's your assignment. When you wake up not just today, when you wake up each and every day, you know what your assignment is? Elevate my brand. Advance my name. Your mission is to make a kiddush Hashem. Your mission is to make a kiddush Hashem in this world. We spoke about it yesterday more at length in the parsha class. Where's the kiddush Hashem? We tend to think it's in the non-Jewish world. Don't forget in business be honest, be courteous, be kind, at the supermarket, in the gym, on the airplane, don't forget make a kiddush Hashem and it's true, and it's true. But where is it first and foremost? Where is it primarily? B'soch Bnei Yisrael. Among the Jewish people because how many Jews are turned off because a fellow Jew, a religious Jew, an observant Jew, and the more religious and the more hypocritical or duplicitous, the more that they're not consistent, the more a person is turned off. You call yourself a religious Jew yet you act that way? That's a chillul Hashem. The chillul Hashem, the arena of chillul Hashem and kiddush Hashem is first and foremost, most centrally within the Jewish people and then it's also true in the non-Jewish world. We said yesterday Rabbeinu Bachya: the only way, the only way to repair the damage of a chillul Hashem, if you were not courteous and kind, if you were not sensitive, if you were not honest, if your word wasn't your bond, if you weren't your best self, the only way, the only way to achieve atonement is not teshuvah or Yom Kippur, the only way is to overcompensate with kiddush Hashem. To now go out of your way in everything you do and bring glory to God's name. That's a Jewish idea, bringing glory to God's name. Not to God because we can't God, we don't know God. Yesterday I recorded part two, I suspect there's going to be more parts of a conversation with Rav Manis Friedman. Some people around him are excited by our continuing this conversation. Can we know and can we change God's essence? Or do we only know the way God has allowed us to know him? So I don't know where that'll be posted or somewhere later online you can watch it. But we can't I believe, spoiler alert, my position is that we can't know and we don't impact God's essence. He's unknowable to us. We know him based on the tzimtzum, the limited, restricted way he's allowed little finite mere mortal us to know him. With that vocabulary, with that anthropomorphism and through that way. And that's enough. We don't need more than that. That is enough for us to know him. You could listen or follow and decide which speaks more to you there. But because of that in my opinion, we don't talk about kiddush God or chillul God, we talk about Hashem. What does the word shem mean? Shem means name. We know God through his name. We know God through his brand. We know God through what he's let us know about him in his diary called the Torah. That's what we know. God says here's my name, here's my brand, here's my logo, if you're going to wear it, advance it. Elevate it. Make people proud of it. Draw people closer to it. That's your job. That's your job. For some strange reason we pay money to wear other companies' brands. It's amazing. They don't pay us, they should. Right? Adidas, Nike and the like, you've got to pay and you pay a premium. If you buy the Kirkland brand, it's less money. They make great quality stuff. I apologize. We love Kirkland, nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying, I haven't seen you with a Kirkland baseball cap recently. I haven't seen a lot of people with Kirkland sweatshirts and t-shirts recently. It's Nike and Adidas and I don't even know what else, right? Whatever famous brands and logos out there. They should pay you instead of you pay a premium to wear them. But they know, they know that when you wear their logo, why do they pay an athlete to wear their logo? Why do they overpay an athlete to wear their logo? Was it Magic Johnson I saw recently talked about how Jordan gave him one of the greatest pieces of advice early in both of their career, where they wanted to pay a certain amount and Jordan said, don't take money, take stock. In the long run, you'll make, and it's added up to I don't know, hundreds of millions of dollars, the difference of taking that annual payment versus having taken equity and stock in the company. Why do they pay a premium to superstar athletes? Why are these companies trying to find middle school students who are going to be the next Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson to already be paying them at that age to wear their logo? Why? Because what happens when you see Michael Jordan wear Nike, you think, if I buy Air Jordans from Nike, I too will play like Michael Jordan. It's a good investment. It's money well spent because by association, the whole marketing kuns is it makes you think that I too will achieve, accomplish, have that skill set. So, lehavdil, lehavdil. Our mission, our mandate is we wear a logo, literally or figuratively, and the logo that we wear is the name of Hashem. That's the logo. That's the insignia. What's embossed on us is the logo of Hashem. And when people encounter it and experience it and interact with us, have we elevated it? Have we made them feel I want that too? Oh, if I wear that logo, it means this life, this meaning, this purpose, this satisfaction, this family, this Kiddush Hashem or Chillul Hashem is either advancing the name, the logo, the effort, or it's pushing it back or it's or it's damaging it. What are we doing and in which way are we living? וכשידע זאת תתעצם בלבו אמונה בהשם ויזכה לראות הטוב הצפון למקיימי המצוות הבוחרים בחיי אמונה בהשם. And that's all you need to know. I'm making a Kiddush Hashem. I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing. And I've put my faith in Hashem. I'm not embarrassed, I'm not ashamed, I'm not worried to wear my yarmulke in public anywhere I am. ומאמין בכל לב בהשגחתו הפרטית על כל מעשה דיבור ומחשבה. And then I let go and I let God. I proudly live and display and act in a way that brings glory and advances the mission of Hashem. And whether everyone gets it or understands it, whether I'm standing on the same side as the rest of the world, or like Avraham HaIvri, I'm me'eiver, it leaves me feeling alone on the other side of the world. But as long as I'm saying and doing and living the right thing, I can then let go and let God and I can surrender and submit myself to Him and to His and to His hashgacha. Rav Elyashiv zatzal said, every generation has their test. Every generation has their test. Previous generations, for too many of the generations of the last two thousand years, their test was to be willing to die al Kiddush Hashem. Rav Elyashiv said, our generation, our test is are we willing to live al Kiddush Hashem? That's our generation's test. Will you display your Judaism, your Yiddishkeit proudly, publicly? Will you practice it proudly and publicly? Will you compromise and sacrifice because of Kiddush Hashem, because of what you're willing to do? Ben Brafman was here for Shabbos earlier this year and talked about that as one of the country's premier defense attorneys, but a proud observant Jew who's represented some of the most prominent clients and what he's done when he's said, you could try calling me all you want. It's a famous story, which he no longer I think says the name of the famous story because that person you don't want to even say their name. But when he hired him, he said, you should just know that for twenty-five hours a week I am unreachable. You can call, you can try. And he said, come on, if I pay you this, you'll be unreachable? I'm unreachable. And if I double that, you're unreachable? He said, I'm unreachable. And if I tri— you can't get me those twenty-five hours a week called Shabbos, I am unreachable. That Friday night the phone rings and then the phone rings again and the phone rings again and it's that high-profile client. And of course, Shomer Shabbos, he doesn't answer. Motzei Shabbos makes Havdalah and he calls that high-profile client back right away. I see you called. multiple times, what is it? He said, "I just want to thank you, you made me some money." He said, "Made you some money? How? We haven't even gone to trial, we haven't even done what we need to do." He said, "Because I bet my buddies that I would call you and you'd see it's my call or my name on the caller ID and you wouldn't answer. And they said, 'I'll take that bet, you call anybody's answering.' He said, 'I bet you I could call as many times I want, he won't answer.' And I won the bet because of you, you made me some money, thank you." That's a Kiddush Hashem. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you're worth, I don't care how many times you call. I report to Hashem. I keep Shabbos. I'm not going to compromise. I'm not going to equivocate. You can't buy me off, all the money in the world. That's a Kiddush Hashem. And that's what we say in Kedushah: נקדש את שמך בעולם. We wake up every day and we say, "Hashem, I pledge and I promise I am here and my mission נקדש את שמך בעולם." We need it. Our brand could use some work. Our brand is taking a hit, and I'm not blaming chas v'shalom anti-Semitism because we deserve it or there are poor Jewish actors, God forbid, absolutely not, 1000% not. There's no correlation whatsoever, and don't let anti-Semites off the hook by finding that association. But that said, there are some bad Jewish actors and some bad Jewish headlines and some bad Jewish impressions. And we need to go overboard and overcompensate, and that's our purpose and our mission. And every time wherever you go and whatever you're doing, interacting with Jews and non-Jews alike, ask yourself and measure the experience by saying, "Did I make a Kiddush Hashem? Did I leave a positive impression? Did I make that person feel closer or have a better impression of Judaism, of Hashem, of our sacred Torah?" At the hospital, in the supermarket, at Costco buying Kirkland products, nothing wrong with it. Wherever you go, whatever you're doing, on the airplane. Yesterday I spoke about on the airplane. Oy, airplane is like the laboratory of Kiddush Hashem or Chilul Hashem. It's like when you enter the airplane there's a big magnifying glass and whatever you're going to do is going to blow up how you behave. And you could either take too much overhead and too much of your seat and push your seat back too fast and too hard and be too loud and too obnoxious and the last to sit down and the first to get up even though it's not yet time to unbuckle and too rude to the flight attendant and you could pack a bagel with tuna fish on a little airplane or bring your herring. I would be an anti-Semite if you brought herring next to me on an airplane. I'm pretty sure I'd become an anti-Semite. And the only answer and the only antidote is to overcompensate with Kiddush Hashem and to talk and look and everywhere you go just, you know, wear the biggest yarmulke you can and just wear the biggest yarmulke you can find, be visibly identifiably a proud Jew and be unbelievably kind, courteous, obey the rules, be sweet and leave everyone with a positive impression and elevate the experience. That's also a form of emunah. That's part of emunah. If you love the other person, the other party, you want people to know them, to love them too. How can you claim to love someone and yet lead other people to dislike the someone you claim to love? That's also an expression, a manifestation of emunah and bitachon. If you live and conduct and carry yourself in such a way that other people want nothing to do with Hashem or His people, then don't tell me you love Hashem. Because if you love Hashem, you want to act in such a way that other people love Him too. That's a Gemara in Yoma on Peh Vav. Gemara Yoma says, "How do you fulfill the mitzvah of ואהבת את ה' אלוהיך? We have a mitzvah we say in Shema every day: love Hashem." How do you fulfill the mitzvah to love Hashem? שיהא שם שמים מתאהב על ידך. How can you love Hashem? You can't really know Hashem. Again, follow that conversation, but I think you can't know Hashem. How can you truly love Hashem? The way that we make, we demonstrate loving Hashem is by bringing other people to love Hashem. Making other people want to wear that... "Oh, where'd you get that hat with that logo? Where can I get that? Where can I get that?" We gotta do more swag because I got two texts from people who have Behind the Bema hats in Israel, they were stopped randomly. "Where'd you get the hat? You know, Rabbi Goldberg, Boca, Behind the Bema." And so you know that's, I guess, that's why, that's why people produce, but nobody's paying me for it the way they pay Nike and Adidas. I don't know how you work that part out. I gotta sign the Jewish Jordan so that people will think... whatever, we gotta figure that part out. But if you love Hashem, you want to bring other people to love Him too. And you can't claim to love Hashem and make other people dislike Him. So one of the ways we express emunah is Nekadesh shimcha barabbim, to be dedicated and devoted and demonstrating Kiddush Hashem. Just finish the paragraph: וכל פועל שנעשה בעולם הכל מכוח היותם. And to realize that everything comes from him, everything in our life, by the way, if you work for a company and they give you the company car that is shrink-wrapped with the company logo, now everywhere you drive, everywhere you drive, where your truck or your car that has the company logo on the side, you are leaving an impression. If you cut people off, if you go through a red light, if you're rude, then people have a negative impression of the brand on the side of that car. And if you let people go, because you're not from certain parts of the country, so you let people in, and you don't double park, and you don't honk because it's a millisecond after the light turned green, then people see that logo on that car and they say, "Wow, maybe we should use that company." It's true in every area of life and it's true with Hashem. If you're loyal and you love your boss whom you work for, who will invest further in you, who will give you a raise and a promotion because you're doing a great job of bringing people closer to the brand. If you do a great job of representing the brand and you're signing up more people who want to associate with the brand, you know what you get? A promotion. You know what you get? A bonus. God works the same way. We shouldn't work on commission with God, that shouldn't be our motivation or intent with God, but he works the same way. Represent and advance and elevate the brand, bring people closer to it, make people want to be connected to it, with it, sign up more people, I don't mean converts, that's a separate topic, but sign up more people, generally, to believing and to looking favorably and positively, you get a promotion. So you can't claim to love God and want to be connected to God and yet hurt his image and his name in this world. So living Kiddush Hashem or Chilul Hashem is also a form of emuna in Hashem. We should all be zoche to make tremendous Kiddush Hashem in all that we do to make a Kiddush Hashem. Kiddush Hashem is not always intuitive, sometimes it's counter-intuitive. If the whole world says get out of Gaza and end this, that's not a Kiddush Hashem if we listened. The Kiddush Hashem is to flex our muscles, show our power and might, and that we'll go against the whole world to do whatever it takes to bring home our people and to protect our innocent civilians. Kiddush Hashem is not always or even often just giving in to what the world wants you to do. That's not Kiddush Hashem. Sometimes it's counter-intuitive to stand up for ourselves, to live with power and pride, to earn, if not, if not the respect, the fear of the other. Sometimes that itself is a Kiddush Hashem. The Kiddush Hashem is to stand up with pride. It's not always so clear. We should show the Kiddush Hashem however it's meant to be to get the results that we so desperately need and im yirtzeh Hashem to hear בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות. We're going to turn off the recording and stream, but I'm excited everybody staying just for a few more minutes to begin entertaining questions and answers.
