Transcript
Okay, good morning, בוקר טוב Boker Tov, פרייליכן חנוכה Freilichen Chanukah, א גוטן חודש a gutn choidesh. What a privilege we have to learn together on this holy day that combines the energy, the light of a new month, new beginning, new possibility with the light of Chanukah, a time of miracles. Please God, we should merit miracles in our time. We'll come home the hostages and welcome home all the soldiers, and welcome a sweeping triumph and victory over our enemies. Page 250 in the ArtScroll stone חומש chumash. We have the privilege of learning פרשת ויגש Parshas Vayigash. Our Parsha series is generously sponsored by Becky and Avi Katz and family in memory of David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מנוש L'ilui Nishmas Dovid ben Menachem Manush. We remain very, very grateful to the Katz family. Okay, I want to see a little bit at the opening of the parsha and then we're going to make our way to the end of the parsha, which we never do, to pick up where we left off last year, which we always promise we will, and to see the parsha a little bit from the other perspective. But let's just start with the beginning, because it's one of my favorite openings of a parsha, every parsha of course, you're not supposed to have favorites. But the beginning of this parsha, the drama that unfolds from the end of last week to this week, when the drama is escalating, and you see at the end of last week, Yosef is holding Binyamin and telling the brothers you're going to have to go back, you're going to have to lose another brother, you're going to have to explain it to your father, and the tension is building and building and building until the opening of this morning's parsha. ויגש אליו יהודה ויאמר בי אדוני Vayigash eilav Yehuda vayomer bi Adoni. ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני ואל יחר אפך בעבדך כי כמוך כפרעה Yedaber na avdcha davar be'oznei Adoni v'al yichar apcha be'avdecha ki k'chamocha k'Pharaoh. Yehuda in that moment, ויגש vayigash, he approaches. And he says to Yosef, if you please, if you listen, may your servant speak a word in your ear. I always picture the lawyer telling the judge, may I approach the bench? Can I approach the bench? Can only imagine this is the viceroy, the vice president of all of Egypt, the strongest empire in the world. Yosef has an entourage, he has his staff, he has his secret service, they're all there. The brothers, Yosef, Yosef is telling them this is it, I caught you red-handed, you're leaving him here for good. And this panic that ensues, the brothers fear, how are we going to go back to our father again with another brother, the only brother from that same mother, who will be missing. And in that moment, Yehuda looks around, there's nobody else. He steps up, he steps forward, ויגש vayigash. He steps out and he says, may I approach the? Can I speak to you? Can I speak to you from my heart? כי כמוך כפרעה Ki k'chamocha k'Pharaoh. You are like Pharaoh. אדוני שאל את עבדיו Adoni sha'al es avadav. And then he recounts the whole history. He says, you asked us this and we answered that, and then you said this and then we said that. And he can't, can't do it. Take me instead, imprison me for good, can't do it. And in that moment, Yosef can't take it anymore, and Yosef feels compelled to be able to reveal himself to his brothers. He can't stand it, he can't take it. He's overwhelmed. He empties the room and he reveals himself to his brothers. We've shared many times, we're not going to repeat now, that ויגש vayigash is a very, when we read this parsha with a little break, a little distance, it seems normal and natural that Yehuda says, can I approach the bench? But if all you do is turn back a page, they're in the middle of a conversation. They're in the middle of a conversation. Yehuda and Yosef. ויאמר יהודה מה נאמר Vayomer Yehuda mah nomar לאדוני מה נדבר ומה נצטדק l'Adoni mah nedaber u'mah nitz'tadak? What are we going to say? What could we do? חלילה לי מעשות זאת האיש אשר נמצא הגביע בידו Chalila li me'asos zos ha'ish asher nimtzah ha'gavia b'yado, הוא ישב לי לעבד hu yishev li le'eved. And Yosef replies, it's sacrilegious, the man who has the goblet, he has his. What do you mean? Yehuda approaches and begins to speak. He's already in the middle of a conversation. Where is he approaching? Where is he speaking? And we've spoken about this in the past. Yehuda summons up the courage. Yehuda all of a sudden approaches, confronts. The word ויגש vayigash is used three times in the Torah. And that's why the רמ\"א Rema in שולחן ערוך Shulchan Aruch quotes, we take three steps forward to begin our עמידה Amida, corresponding with the three times the word ויגש vayigash is used in the Torah. Just like three people stepped up, stepped forward, Avraham on behalf of Sedom, Yehuda now on behalf of Binyamin, Eliyahu HaNavi on הר הכרמל Har HaCarmel. These three stepped up, these three mustard the courage, they confronted, they advocated. So too, when we take those three steps forward to begin our עמידה Amida, ויגש vayigash, we are stepping up, we're stepping out. Our prayers are not only for ourselves, our well-being, our happiness and our needs, ויגש vayigash, we are taking those three steps forward in order to pray for people around us, in order to pray for people around us. So that we've covered in the past. But I want to share with you a teaching of the holy רבי נחמן Rebbe Nachman. רבי נחמן Rebbe Nachman says the following. יוסף הוא משנה למלך מצרים Yosef hu mashneh la'melech Mitzrayim. Yosef is appointed, he is number two, most powerful, second most powerful man on the planet. כאשר ירדו אחיו למצרים לקנות אוכל הם לא זיהו אותו, והוא החליט להעמידם במבחן K'asher yardu achav l'Mitzrayim liknos ochel, hem lo zihu o'so, v'hu hechlit le'amidam be'mivchan. When the brothers descend down to Egypt in order to try to get provisions, in order to be able to survive this famine, they don't recognize him, he recognizes them. והורה למשרתיו לשים את גביע הכסף שלו באמתחתו של בנימין V'horo l'mesharav l'sim es gvia ha'kesef shelo b'amtachto shel Binyamin. And he plots, he schemes to put this goblet in the backpack of Benjamin, of Binyamin in order to accuse Binyamin. And as we spoke about previously, Yosef is recreating his own experience. He's putting the brothers in the position to achieve what the Rambam will later call תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah, complete and absolute repentance. How does the Rambam define תשובה גמורה teshuva gemurah? To be in the same circumstance, the same temptation, the same energy, and yet to make a different choice. And yet, a different result or outcome. How could Yosef construct the most similar, most parallel circumstance to his own? Well, there's only one brother he has from the same father and mother, that's Binyamin. How can it be that Binyamin will be in a pit, in jail, when Yosef was thrown in the pit? Will anyone step up? Will anyone speak up? Will anyone advocate for him? And in this moment, Yehuda does. לאחר שנמצא הגביע באמתחת אשר האשים יוסף את בנימין בגניבה L'achar she'nimtza ha'gavia b'amtachto ha'isham Yosef es Binyamin bi'gneiva. At the moment that he finds that goblet in Binyamin's backpack, he accuses Binyamin. You're a thief, you're a robber, you're going to jail, you're staying here. ודרש שבנימין ישאר אצלו כעבד בעוד שהאחים חוזרים לאביהם V'darash she'Binyamin yisha'er etzlo k'eved b'od she'ha'achim chozrim l'avihem. Everyone else, go home. Everyone else, nothing more to see here. Everyone else, be on your way. Binyamin, you're staying for good. So in that moment, יהודה ניגש אל יוסף כדי לנסות ולשכנעו לקחתו כעבד במקום בנימין Yehuda nigash el Yosef k'dei l'nasos l'shachne'o l'kachto k'eved b'makom Binyamin. Yehuda, all of a sudden, the same Yehuda who had thrown Yosef in, the same Yehuda who had thought of selling Yosef, the same Yehuda now, instead of marginalizing, instead of getting rid of a brother, this time he steps up for a brother, and this time he stands in for a brother. He says, take me instead. למה מדגיש הפסוק שיהודה ניגש Lama madgish ha'pasuk she'Yehuda nigash? Why, this beautiful safer, not Rebbe Nachman himself, but שולחן השבת Shulchan HaShabbos, it brings and quotes Torah from Rebbe Nachman, applies it to the parsha. Why, why does the Torah formulate this as, ויגש vayigash? Yehuda approached. הלא מספיק היה לכתוב ויאמר יהודה אל יוסף Ha'lo maspik hayah lichtov vayomer Yehuda el Yosef? Why not simply say, Yehuda said to Yosef? Yehuda communicated to Yosef. Why is it formulated as he stepped up? על כן אמרו חז\"ל Al kein amru Chazal, our rabbis say, they learn from here, שהתורה רוצה להדגיש שיהודה ניגש והכין עצמו לתפילה she'ha'Torah rotza lehadgish she'Yehuda nigash v'hechin atzmo l'tefillah. In that moment, the picture is supposed to be as if he took a breath, stuck out his chest, put back his shoulders, stood up strong, and stepped up to Yosef. But he didn't just take in a deep breath and put out his chest and take back his shoulders and stand tall. חז\"ל Chazal understand, in בראשית רבה ויגש פרשה צ\"ג Breishis Rabbah Vayigash Parshah tzadi gimmel, the Torah is teaching us that he prepared himself for prayer. הוא דיבר אמנם אל יוסף אך תוך כדי דבריו ליוסף התפלל בליבו לה' שיעזור בידו Hu diber omnam el Yosef ach toch k'dei devarav l'Yosef hispalel belibo la'Hashem she'ya'azrehu b'yado. True, he's communicating with Yosef, true, he's asking Yosef, true, he's confronting Yosef. But as he steps up to confront Yosef, he first has a conversation. With whom? With Hashem. מכאן אנו יכולים ללמוד מסר חשוב בעניין תפילה Mikan anu yecholim lilmod messer chashuv b'inyan tefillah. We learn something here, a very powerful, powerful lesson about prayer, about prayer. Yehuda is about to do something incredibly dangerous, putting himself in a very precarious situation. Yosef, who's the viceroy of Egypt, the most second most powerful man, Yosef could say, how dare you challenge my ruling? How dare you challenge my conclusion? I'm not keeping you instead of Binyamin, I'm keeping Binyamin and I'm killing you. He's about to do something very dangerous, very dangerous. So he turns to Hashem and he davens on the way. Hashem, I'm going to step up. I think that's what you want from me in this moment. Let me be successful. Let me find the right words. Let me be compelling. Let me be persuasive. Let me change this leader's mind. Hashem, I need your help. I need you to give me the words. באחת מתורותיו המפורסמות ביותר B'achas m'torosav ha'mefursamos b'yoser, in one of the most popular teachings of Rebbe Nachman, it appears in ליקוטי מוהר\"ן, חלק א', סימן רפ\"ב Likkutei Moharan, chelek alef siman reish peh beis, כותב רבי נחמן על החשיבות להיות בשמחה תמיד kosev Rebbe Nachman al ha'chashivus lihiyos b'simcha tamid. Everybody knows, מצווה גדולה להיות בשמחה תמיד mitzva gedolah lihiyos b'simcha tamid. A Jew has to always be בשמחה b'simcha. בשמחה B'simcha, you have to always be happy. You have to always be happy in life. ולהתרחק מאוד מן העצבות U'l'hisrachek me'od min ha'atzvus, and to distance ourselves from sadness. Sadness, depressiveness, despondency, it is our kryptonite. It brings us down. It takes away our energy. We're not able to live our best selves. It absolutely suffocates our creativity, our energy, our ambition, our aspiration. Sadness sabotages any possibility of success. Sadness destroys the relationships around us, relationship with ourselves, and the relationship with Hashem. אפילו כשיש לעצבות סיבות מוצדקות לכאורה Afilu k'sheyesh l'atzvus sibos mutzdakos l'cha'ora, even when we have good reason to be sad, when a person looks at himself and says, I've made terrible mistakes, I've come up so short, I've been such a failure. והיצר הרע מנסה להפילו לעצבות V'hayetzer hara menaseh l'hapilo l'atzvus, and the יצר הרע yetzer hara is trying to entice us. Look at your life, look at your failures, look at your shortcomings, look at the mistakes you've made, and be sad over them. ולומר לו כמוהו גרוע וחסר תקווה V'lomar lo k'mohu garua v'chasar tikva, you're hopeless, you're helpless, you're pathetic, you אויסווארף oisvarf. Look at how many things you've done wrong. You blew it again. You yelled at your spouse or your children. Look what you did again. You lost money. You did it again. You looked at or acted out in the ways that you shouldn't have late at night. Look at you. You spoke לשון הרע Lashon Hara. You said the hurtful thing. You've destroyed a relationship. Look at you. You lost another job. You lost another client. You lost another customer. You're hopeless. You're helpless. You're pathetic. גם אז אסור לאדם להיכשל Gam az assur l'adam le'hikashel. Says Rebbe Nachman, even in that moment, especially in that moment, a Jew can't stumble, a Jew can't fail. עליו לחפש ולמצוא בעצמו לפחות מעט טוב Alav l'chapes v'limtzo b'atzmo l'fachos me'at tov. Even in that moment, find the hope. Find the good. Find the praiseworthy, the admirable. Find what foundation you could build on. אין אדם שלא עשה מימיו איזה מצווה או מעשה טוב כלשהו Ein adam shelo asa m'yamav eizeh mitzvah o'ma'aseh tov kolshehu. There's no one, there's no one utterly and entirely irredeemable. There's no one who there's not something to build on. Some success, some joy, some positivity, some accomplishment, some achievement, find something. What did you get right? Where did you have a win? Where do you have an achievement? אבל לפעמים גם הדבר הטוב שמצא אדם בעצמו הוא כל כך אינו שלם Aval l'fa'amim gam ha'davar ha'tov she'matza adam b'atzmo hu kol kach eino shalem. But sometimes even the thing we did right is incomplete. It's not really, it's not, it's not perfect. הוא עשה פעם איזה מצווה, אבל גם היא מלאה פגמים וחסרונות וכוונות לא ראויות Hu asa pa'am eizeh mitzvah, aval gam hi male'ah p'gamim v'chesronos v'kavonos lo re'uyos. Maybe we did the mitzvah, but we didn't do it right. It was imperfect. We didn't have the right thoughts or mindfulness while we did it. There are a million and one reasons to build ourselves up. וחשוב שאדם יחפש תמיד את הטוב שבעצמו כדי להכריח את עצמו לבוא לידי שמחה V'chashuv she'adam yechapes tamid es ha'tov sheb'atzmo k'dei l'hachriach es atzmo lavo l'yedei simcha. A person has to always find the good in themselves to be able to to come into a place of שמחה simcha. You can't fulfill whatever you're meant to do. You can't wake up and greet the day and roar like a lion if you're not ב'שמחה b'simcha. If you fall and trip out of bed, if you stumble, you're lazy, you're lethargic, if you're procrastinating, if you feel like a failure, if you don't believe you have hope, if you don't think you're redeemable, you'll never get anything done. But you got to jump out of bed and roar like a lion. כל זמן שאדם רואה את עצמו כאילו כולו רע, בהכרח יפול לעצבות Kol zman she'adam ro'eh es atzmo k'ilu kulo ra, b'hechrach yipol l'atzvus. If you think you're all bad and there's nothing good or redeemable in you, then of course you're going to be terribly sad and you're going to be hopeless and you're going to give up, ייאוש yeiush. אבל ברגע שאדם מחפש ומוצא בעצמו איזה נקודה טובה Aval b'rega she'adam mechapes u'motzei b'atzmo eizeh nekuda tova. But if you take a moment, if you pause, if you think, if you introspect, if you reflect, and you say, you know what, look at this good. Look at the family I produced. Look at least at my children. Look at that mitzvah that I did. Look at that nice thing. Look at that accomplishment. Look at that achievement. Look at that small נקודה nekuda. Can I find a small point, a small something to build out of? אם מצא אדם טוב בעצמו, מצא את ה' יתברך הנמצא בסוכו Im matza adam tov b'atzmo, matza es Hashem yisborach ha'nimtza b'socho. If you find something good in yourself, you found Hashem in yourself. Where is my צלם אלוקים tzellem Elokim? Where's the godliness in me? Where's that ambition? Where's that hope? Where's that worthiness? Where's the godliness in me? And that, based on this teaching of Rebbe Nachman, maybe, is what the pasuk means. ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda. כאשר יהודי רוצה לגשת לתפילה, הוא לפעמים מרגיש כבדות ונופל על עצבות K'asher Yehudi rotzeh lageshes l'tefillah, hu l'fa'amim margish kveidus v'nofel al atzvus. When a person wants to step up to daven, sometimes you feel this weight. I'm going to daven? I'm going to go to shul tomorrow morning? Do you know what I did late last night? What I looked at, what I said, how I behaved, where I went, what I did, how I acted out. What now I'm going to go daven? The same pathetic me who spoke a Lashon Hara, the same pathetic me who forgot Yaaleh v'Yavo, the same pathetic me who yelled at my kids, the same pathetic me who even though I made so many promises, each day, this is going to be the day, I'm going to exercise, I'm going to be patient, I'm going to be calm, I'm going to be good, I'm going to be kind, I'm going to check in on people. And then it's another end of the day, I'm a failure. I haven't done any of those things I promised myself I would do. And I'm going to go daven tomorrow? I'm going to open my mouth, I'm going to move my lips? I have something to say that Hashem thinks is worth hearing? ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda. When a Jew steps up, ויגש vayigash, when we stand up to daven, we have to believe, האמין אמונה אמיתית והכיר בכך שאין שום מציאות מבלעד ה' He'emin emunah amitis v'hikir b'kach she'ein shum metzius m'baladei Hashem. There is no one and nothing in this world that doesn't have God. ה' שוכן גם בתוך האדם ממש Hashem shochen gam b'toch ha'adam mamash. He's in me. It's a new day, it's Rosh Chodesh, a new possibility, a brand new bright new day. This is my day. I am redeemable. I have hope. I can build upon that נקודה nekuda, that צלם אלוקים tzellem Elokim, the godly soul inside me. And that's what it means. What did Yehuda say? ויאמר בי אדוני Vayomer bi Adoni. בתוכי נמצא אדוני הקדוש ברוך הוא B'sochi nimtza Adoni ha'Kadosh Baruch Hu. בי אדוני Bi Adoni. Before he has the courage to step up to Yosef, you know what he says? Not who am I, my failure, I already got rid of one brother, who am I to step up and represent another brother? I'm a גארנישט gornisht, I'm a nothing, I'm an אויסווארף oisvarf. No, a איד Yid has to stand up proud and say, בי אדוני Bi Adoni. You know who I am? In me is God. I'm a prince, I'm a princess, I'm a child of royalty. Do you know who I am? Do you know what I'm made of? Do you know what's inside me? If you're looking for the courage or bravery to step up, to speak out, all you ever have to say is, בי אדוני Bi Adoni. It's in me. לפני התפילה מכיר אדם בכך שה' נמצא בו בתוכו, ובתוך השפלות והחושך L'fnei ha'tefillah makir adam b'kach she'Hashem nimtza bo b'socho, u'b'toch ha'shiflus v'ha'choshech. Even within the darkness, even within the mistakes, גם כי אלך בגיא צלמוות gam ki eilech b'gei tzalmaves. לא אירא רע כי אתה עמדי lo ira ra ki ata imadi. Hashem, you're always with me. And then we could say, ידבר נא עבדך דבר באזני אדוני yedaber na avdcha davar b'oznei Adoni. יכול האדם להתפלל לה' Yachol ha'adam l'hispalel l'Hashem, ובכך לצאת מהמצר להגיע לשמחה uv'kach latzeis min ha'meitzar l'hagia l'simcha. So, ויגש אליו יהודה Vayigash eilav Yehuda, this pasuk is describing not only what Yosef does when he steps up and confronts Yehuda, but it's when Yehuda does when he steps up and confronts Yosef, but it's giving us the courage how we can still daven, and how we can confront. I see in this incredible strength. We're living in a time of this increase of antisemitism, and there are so many public spheres and moments where we need courage. Don't tolerate the way we're being treated, the way we're being spoken about, the way we're being spoken to. Stand up. Stand up like a proud Jew, an unapologetic Jew, a non-defensive Jew, a strong Jew who has an army who's decimating the nations around it. Stand up, speak up. How can you speak up? Because בי אדוני bi Adoni. I have Hashem in me. I don't have to cower, I don't have to apologize, I don't have to be afraid. בי אדוני Bi Adoni. I have Hashem in me, I'm a צלם אלוקים tzellem Elokim, and that's where we can find the courage and the bravery to say what needs to be said, to say it to whom it needs to be heard. That's where we can find the courage, not only in our תפילה tefillah that we're worthy and it's worth our davening, but also the people that we need to confront. The מגד יוסף meged Yosef of Rabbi Yosef Zerskin has another interpretation of בי אדוני bi Adoni, because it is peculiar. Yehuda is already in the middle of a conversation with Yosef, and all of a sudden he says, בי אדוני Bi Adoni. May I approach the bench? If it may please you, can I say something in your ear? Yeah, you've been talking to me for the last hour. Yosef doesn't turn to Yehuda and say, are you serious? You're asking me if you could, you've been speaking to me non-stop. Now you're asking if you could speak? בי אדוני Bi Adoni? So based on Rebbe Nachman we saw, Yosef wasn't talking to Yehuda. בי אדוני Bi Adoni. To whom was he talking? To himself. בי אדוני Bi Adoni. I can have the courage because בי אדוני bi Adoni, because in me is God. In me is God. Rav Serskin has a different interpretation. Rashi said, בי אדוני bi Adoni הוא לשון תחנונים hu leshon tachanunim. ובביאורם של הדברים נראה שבי אדוני פירושו תיכנס בי ובמצבי כאילו תחליף מקומות איתי U'v'be'uram shel ha'dvarim nir'eh she'bi Adoni peirusho, tikanes bi u've'matzavi, k'ilu tachlif makomos iti. You know what Yehuda was telling Yosef? בי אדוני Bi Adoni. Listen, for a moment, switch places with me. Look, look through my eyes, live this through my experience. Can you imagine? Yehuda's telling Yosef, listen, I understand from your perspective, you caught my younger brother, he's got the goblet in his knapsack, you're keeping him forever, that was the condition, the deal. But Yehuda says, בי אדוני Bi Adoni. תחליף מקומות איתי Tachlif makomos iti. Switch places with me. ואכן בתוך הם דבריו ניכר יהודה רק חוזר על דבריו הידועים שפעם אמר לו V'achen b'tocham dvarav nikar Yehuda rak chozer al divreihem ha'yeduim she'pa'am amar lo, כי רצה להכניס ביוסף ריגשותיו ki rotzeh l'hachnis b'Yosef rigshosav. And now he reviews the entire, you said this, I said that, then this thing happened. Why is he reviewing it? It just happened a moment ago. It's not like this is ancient history. Why is he reviewing something that just happened a moment ago? The answer is, שיגיש כאילו הוא במקומו she'yargish k'ilu hu b'mkomo. Because what he's trying to do is paint a picture for Yosef. He says, Yosef, live this from my perspective. Look at it from my point of view. Switch places with me, what would you do? או שאמר הרמב\"ם תמיד שנסה לבלסמים עצמך במקום חברך O she'amar ha'Rambam tamid she't'naseh l'balesim atzmecha b'makom chavercha. הרי יוסף כשבא לבקש את אביו Harei Yosef k'sheba l'fegosh es aviv, and you see this. Yosef is practicing, Yosef already demonstrated this. כמו שפרש רש\"י וירא אליו K'mo she'peirush Rashi vayera eilav, יוסף נראה אל אביו Yosef neira el aviv. לכאורה רש\"י רוצה לומר l'cha'ora Rashi rotzeh lomar בזה שאף שלא ראה את אביו כ\"ב שנה be'zeh she'af shelo ra'ah es aviv kaf-beis shanah, לא חשב על עצמו ועל הנאתו בפגישת אביו lo chashav al atzmo v'al ha'na'aso b'pgishas aviv. When later in the parsha, Yosef and Yaakov are going to reunite, they're going to meet again, the pasuk says, יוסף נראה וירא אליו Yosef, vayera eilav. He appeared to him. Who appeared to whom? יוסף נראה אל אביו Yosef neira el aviv. Yosef appeared to his father. What does it mean Yosef appeared to his father? In that moment, Yosef could have been focused on me. I haven't seen my father in 22 years. I need a hug. I need a kiss. I need some verbal affirmation, validation, affection. It's about me. I need to know the answer of what happened all these 22 years. But in that moment, Yosef, Yosef doesn't live from his perspective. Yosef switches places with his father. שם עצמו במקום אביו איך ירגיש כשיפגוש את בנו האהוב אחר היעדר של כ\"ב שנה Sam atzmo b'makom aviv, eich yargish k'shera es bno ha'av acharei heider shel kaf beis shanah. Yosef says to himself, how does my father feel after 22 years of being apart? How has my father experienced this 22 year absence? What does my father need right now? How can I live this from his perspective? וירא אליו Vayera eilav. יוסף לא הלך להראות את עצמו אל אביו רק להראות לאביו Yosef lo halach l'har'os es atzmo el aviv rak l'heira'os l'aviv. He didn't go to see his father, he went to appear to his father. וכך גם הקדוש ברוך הוא דורש מאיתנו שנראה בפניו בשלוש רגלים V'kach gam ha'Kadosh Baruch Hu doresh meitanu she'neira'eh b'fanav b'shalosh regalim, לא שנלך לראות את ירושלים lo she'neilech l'ro'os es Yerushalayim. Similarly, we go every שלוש רגלים shalosh regalim, we go the three festive holidays, Pesach, and Shavuos and Sukkos, not to see God, but to be seen by God. How does God feel? What does God want? What does God want to see? So in this moment, the strategy that Yehuda is employing is, בי אדוני Bi Adoni, switch places with me. Experience it from my vantage point. What do you want me to do? What would you do if you were in my shoes? I just published an article yesterday, where I spoke at the Chemed conference a couple weeks ago, and the man told me this incredible, incredible story, that he had been a very cold, clinical physician, and he had his own experience with suffering and pain, and from it he learned and derived why he needs to be much more compassionate, much more compassionate. You know, there's a movement in the medical community, and there's research that shows the benefit, if a doctor in a hospital setting, or even just in their exam room, if instead of standing while you're lying vulnerably in some gown on a table, instead of the doctor standing over you, looking down at you while you're lying, God forbid, in a hospital bed, in a hospital room, if the doctor pulls up a chair so you're now eye level, do you know the research shows the impact on the recovery of the patient when a doctor is on eye level, looks them in the eye on the same level, expresses compassion, has that בי אדוני bi Adoni, switch places with me. Doctor, if you were lying in this bed, how would you want to be spoken to? Would you want the doctor to be patient and explain and be on eye level and look in the eye and feel compassion? Eye level, eye level. What Dr. Jerome Groopman, my father-in-law's cousin, incredible published physician, calls the medicine of friendship. The medicine of friendship. בי אדוני Bi Adoni, switch places. How would you feel? That's Yehuda's compelling argument to Yosef. Yosef, I know from your perspective this is what you think needs to happen, but בי אדוני bi Adoni, switch places with me for a moment, look at it from my perspective and what would you do? That's what Yehuda is arguing to. So we saw two or three interpretations of what בי אדוני bi Adoni is. Is Yehuda talking to Yosef? Is Yehuda talking to himself? Is Yehuda talking to Hashem? Who is Yehuda talking to? But when we're about to do something that takes courage, daven on it. Daven on it. You have to have a difficult conversation. There are difficult conversations that have to be had. Sometimes with a judge, with a business partner, with a spouse, with a child, all kinds of difficult conversations. ויגש Vayigash. We have to man up and step up and ויגש vayigash. There's difficult conversations. On the way to that difficult conversation, don't forget to have them with Hashem. Hashem, put the right words in my mouth. Let me say the most compelling, persuasive, give me the right thing to say. Let me be effective. I'm going to have an audience with a powerful person. I'm able to have a relationship, text, continue a conversation with somebody of influence. Give me the right words. Don't try to figure it out on our own, but realize that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is helping us, and therefore turn to him first for help. Okay, skip all the way to פרק מ\"ה perek mem-hey, פסוק ט' pasuk tes. So the story unfolds, you all know it. Yosef can't constrain himself anymore, kicks everyone out of the room, doesn't want to embarrass his brothers, and he says the famous words, the words that ultimately become the words that ultimately become very their מוסר mussar. אני יוסף העוד אבי חי Ani Yosef ha'od avi chai, I am Yosef. With two words, with two words he said the most startling, the most shocking, the most gripping מוסר mussar a person can give. אני יוסף Ani Yosef. I am Yosef. He didn't have to continue and say, you low-life, crazy, good-for-nothing, you threw me in that pit, but look at me, I made it, I'm over you, you now need me. All he has to say is, אני יוסף Ani Yosef, and everything comes together. The picture becomes clear. They have the answer to all their questions. Everything now becomes clear, and it's shocking. The Vilna Gaon had a tradition, has a tradition, that if you want to know what גיהנום gehinnom looks like, hopefully none of us will be there, but if you want to know what גיהנום gehinnom will be, H-E-double hockey sticks as my kids call it, if you want to know what גיהנום gehinnom looks like, the הגר\"א Gra says, you sit on a couch next to the Almighty, he presses play, and you watch your whole life, and he doesn't have to say a word. Because you watch the good, the bad, and the ugly. You watch the moments when you know people were watching, and you watch the moments when you thought you were all alone. You watch what you're proud of, and you watch what you are unbelievably ashamed and embarrassed by. And he's sitting right there next to you. Oh, and he invites everyone you ever knew to come watch your life with you. He doesn't have to do or say anything more because that is hell. That is torturous, that is punitive, that is miserable, that is suffering, and that's all he needs to do is press play. Yosef, all he has to say is, אני יוסף Ani Yosef. And whoa, they get whapped. They get punched in the gut. אני יוסף Ani Yosef. He reveals himself. But then he quickly reframes it. Don't worry, I'm not going to take revenge, I'm not getting even. You think you could have sent me down here? I couldn't be here if it wasn't part of God's master plan. He reframes, reframes, a psychological tool called reframing. You put a new frame that changes the whole picture. You can change the entire picture with a new frame. And by putting a new frame around the picture of what had happened, he reframes for the brothers and says, yeah, not your most shining moment. Yeah, you shouldn't be proud of what you did. But don't worry, it couldn't have happened if God didn't want me here. He were here now, let's be brothers going forward. Which brings us to פרק מ\"ה perek mem-hey, chapter 45, verse ט' tes. So he says to them, מהרו ועלו אל אבי Mahru v'alu el avi. Quickly, go up to my father. ואמרתם אליו כה אמר בנך יוסף V'amartem eilav koh amar bincha Yosef, that your son Yosef, he's still alive. And here's what he has to say, שׂמני אלקים לאדון לכל מצרים sumani Elokim l'adon l'chol Mitzrayim. Tell dad that I said, you're not going to believe it. You remember the underachieving kid? You remember the one you didn't think would get anywhere in school? I'm the master of all of Egypt. Would you believe it? רדה אלי אל תעמוד Reda elai al ta'amod. Quick, come down, don't delay. I want to see you, I want you to see me, I want you to see it for yourself. Hurry up, you have to come down. מהרו ועלו אל אבי Mahru v'alu el avi. He tells the brothers, hurry up, stop delaying, quick, get to our father, my father, אבי avi. You'll notice he keeps calling him my father. Why does he keep calling him my father? When he first reveals himself, אני יוסף העוד אבי חי Ani Yosef ha'od avi chai. I am Yosef, is my father still alive? Which is a peculiar question considering a moment ago, Yehuda's whole argument was, you cannot send me back without Binyamin, my father will die. And Yosef says, I'm Yosef, is my father still alive? He just told you that your father's alive a millisecond ago. Why is that your question? Because Yosef didn't ask, is your father still alive? That Yehuda just answered. What did he ask? Is my father still alive? Is the one who loves me, who learned with me, who gave me a special coat, is my father, is the father who had a special relationship with me, is that father still alive? העוד אבי Ha'od avi, my father still alive. We're going to see that Yosef's Yaakov rather is going to reciprocate this. He's going to refer to Yosef later as his son, his only son. העוד אבי חי בני Ha'od avi chai bni, Yosef bni. We'll see. So here too, מהרו ועלו אל אבי mahru v'alu el avi. Quick, hurry, go up to אבי avi, my father. Oh, your whole argument, Yehuda was, I can't do this to your father. What about what you did to your father? You put him through this 22 years. What about what you did to your father? You're telling me that I have to send Binyamin back because I can't do this to your father. You care so much about your father? Where were you to care about your father 22 years ago when you threw me in the pit, when you sold me into slavery? So don't tell me about your father. Don't tell me about your father. He's not your father. He's אבי avi. העוד אבי חי Ha'od avi chai. He's my father. I never heard him so bad. I never took away one of his kids. Don't claim that you're representing, you're protecting, you care about our father. He's not your father. Because where were you caring about your father 22 years ago? העוד אבי Ha'od avi. He's my father. מהרו ועלו אל אבי Mahru v'alu el avi. Why does it say ועלו v'alu, go up? Why does it say go up? זאגט רש\"י ארץ ישראל גבוה מכל הארצות Zogt Rashi, Eretz Yisrael gevoha mi'kol ha'aratzos. Because Israel is the highest of all the lands. Ask Rabbi Druk in his sefer Zos Eish. לכאורה יש להבין מה דווקא כאן בפסוק נאמר מהרו ועלו אל אבי L'cha'ora yesh l'havin mah davka kan ba'pasuk ne'emar mahru v'alu el avi. Why here? Why now? Why is Rashi commenting specifically here and specifically now? Quick, go up to Israel. And why go up to Israel? Because Israel is the highest of all the lands. Have we not mentioned Israel before, Canaan before? After all, in our storyline, in the narrative, the brothers keep coming down and going up and coming down and going up. כבר מצינו כמה פרשיות כמה וכמה פעמים לשון עלייה Kvar matzinu kama parshiyos kama v'chama pe'amim lashon aliyah. We said in Mikeitz, ואתם עלו לשלום אל אביכם v'atem alu l'shalom el avichem. Go up to inquire the well-being of your father. In our parsha earlier, וכי עלינו אל עבדך אבי v'chi alinu el avdecha avi. When we went up. והנער יעל עם אחיו v'ha'na'ar ya'al im echav. And the young one has to go up with his brothers. איך אעלה אל אבי והנער איננו איתי Eich e'eleh el avi v'ha'na'ar einenu iti? Yehuda argues, how can I go up to my father and my brother won't be with me? So we've seen, go up, go up, go up, go up, go up. Rashi has nothing to say. All of a sudden now Yosef says, go up and get dad. And Rashi jumps in. Go up and get dad. Ooh, why does it say go up? ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael is the highest of all the lands. Why did he wait until now if we've already used the language of עלייה aliyah, of עלו alu, of go up? Why didn't Rashi comment earlier? That's what I asked ר' דרוק Reb Druk. This is the question of ר' דרוק Reb Druk. And he answers the following. הביאור בזה פשוט Ha'biur b'zeh pashut. הנה ביאור דברי רש\"י כי ארץ ישראל גבוהה מכל הארצות, בוודאי אין הכוונה כפשוטו Hinei biur divrei Rashi ki Eretz Yisrael gevoha m'kol ha'aratzos, b'vadai ein ha'kavana k'pshuto. Is Rashi talking about geographically, topographically? How is Rashi describing Israel as the highest of all the lands? The mountains are the highest? Is that true? If you look at Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, you look at the lands that surround Israel, is Israel in terms of its altitude from sea level, is it the highest of all the lands? And is Israel the top of the globe? What does it all depend on? How you hold the globe. Boca could be the top of the globe, if you want to hold the globe with Boca on top.So what makes Israel the highest of all the lands? כוונת דברי רש\"י שארץ ישראל היא בארץ הגבוהה ביותר מכל שאר הארצות, מבחינת רוחנית Kavanas divrei Rashi she'Eretz Yisrael hi b'eretz hagvoha yoser m'kol she'ar ha'aratzos, b'bchinas ruchanis. He's talking spiritually. Spiritually Israel is the holiest land in the world. שהיא מרוממת וקדושה יותר מכל הארצות Shehi meromemes u'kdusha yoser m'kol ha'aratzos. It has an inherent and intrinsic sanctity. When you go into Israel, when you breathe the air of Israel, when you kiss the ground of Israel, when you hold the soil of Israel, Israel's categorically different than the rest of the world. השמים שמים להשם והארץ נתן לבני אדם Hashamayim shamayim l'Hashem v'ha'aretz nasan l'vnei adam. The Sforno says, while the heavens belong to God and he gave the land to man, he held on to Israel. Israel's a little piece of heaven here on earth.When you land, you feel it in the air. אווירא דארץ ישראל מחכים Avira d'Eretz Yisrael machkim. My rabbi said that the air of Israel makes us wiser. Why do we bend down? This ancient tradition that finds its roots in the rabbis, to kiss the ground. Now, it used to be you came down the stairs, you kissed the ground. Now, you'll get trampled by the people on the way to passport control, if you try to kiss when you come out of the out of the terminal. So, because it's the highest land. ארץ אשר השם אלוקיך דורש אותה תמיד, עיני השם אלוקיך בה, מראשית השנה ועד אחרית שנה Eretz asher Hashem Elokecha doresh osa tamid, einei Hashem Elokecha ba m'reishis hashana v'ad achris shana. Every other land, the rain, the the irrigation comes from a Nile, natural water source. Israel relies on rain, it relies on Hashem. Hashem is supervising, He's watching over. Hashem's presence is much more intensely felt. There is a sanctity to that land. It is the only place on earth that there are מצוות תלויות בארץ mitzvos tluyos ba'aretz. Where the soil, the dirt, the earth is holy. There are commandments that are based on the ground, that every four steps we take, every six feet we walk, we fulfill a מצוה mitzva.כל העולם כולו נברא מארץ ישראל Kol ha'olam kulo nivra m'Eretz Yisrael. The whole world was created out of Israel. ארץ ישראל נבראת תחילה וכל העולם כולו נברא בסוף Eretz Yisrael nivrais tchila v'chol ha'olam kulo nivra b'sof. Gemorah Taanis tells us that the whole world was fashioned, it expanded, if there was a big bang, it began at the מקום המקדש, באבן שתיה makom haMikdash, b'even shesiya. Eretz Yisrael is the tallest, the highest land. Doesn't mean geographically, it means spiritually. And that's what Yosef Hatzadik is telling his brothers. You're going to get dad, and you're going to bring him down to Egypt. And Egypt, if Israel is the highest of any land, Egypt is the lowliest and lowest of every land. It is morally corrupt and decadent, morally compromised and confused. There's moral chaos. מצרים Mitzrayim is a place of absolute, absolute moral corruption. So therefore he says, מהרו ועלו, maharu v'alu, quick go up, go up and bring that רוחניות ruchnius, bring that holiness, bring that sanctity, bring it down. Don't ever leave it. Take it with you.A person has to feel connected to the spirituality and the sanctity, to the holiness of Eretz Yisrael wherever they are. Wherever they are. Ask a Jew anywhere they live in the world, where do you live? And what's the answer? I live in ירושלים Yerushalayim. I live in ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael. I'm here temporarily on שליחות shlichus. Physically, my address, my zip code might right might now, might right now be Boca Raton, Florida. Where do I draw my spiritual energy? Where do I draw my holiness and my hope? Where do I draw my connection with Hashem? Where am I connected with my people, with my destiny, with my future? I live in Eretz Yisrael. That's where I live. That's where I live. That's where my future and my destiny, my history, that's where I live. And that's why says Rav Druck, when we begin ספר שמות Sefer Shmos, it describes, ואלה שמות בני ישראל, הבאים מצרימה V'eleh shemos Bnei Yisrael, ha-ba'im Mitzrayma. It should say אשר באו asher ba'u. These are the names of the Jewish people that came to Egypt. It doesn't say that came, it says that are coming, הבאים ha-ba'im. כי בני ישראל לא נשתקעו במצרים, בכל יום הרגישו עצמם כגרים Ki Bnei Yisrael lo nishka'u b'Mitzrayim, b'chol yom hirgishu atzmam k'geirim. You know why? Because they're never fully unpacked in Egypt. We're never permanent residents there, we're guests, we're visitors, we're passing through, we're never there permanently. We're never there permanently. As the pasuk says, לגור בארץ באנו lagur ba'aretz banu. And we darshan in the הגדה Hagaddah, ויגר שם, שלא ירד יעקב אבינו להשתקע במצרים אלא לגור שם V'yagar sham, shelo yarad Yaakov avinu l'hishtakea b'Mitzrayim ela lagur sham. He went as a גר ger. What's a גר ger? He didn't go לשב שם la-shev sham. לשב La-shev means unpack, resident, change your address. He went לגור lagur. What's a גר ger? I'm visiting, stopping by, I'm a stranger. I'm a stranger. Our mentality, our attitude has to be, we're not here permanently. This isn't our future. This isn't where we plan to be. We are just passing through. We passed through Egypt, we passed through Persia, we passed through, we passed through all kinds of civilizations. We made our way through Spain, and there was a time that we were in France, and we had some glory glory times even in Poland and Germany, and we never fully unpacked there because we never became permanent there. We were הבאים ha-ba'im. We were always en route. Where is the destination if the Jewish people are always en route and transit? The destination is we're going back to our homeland. We're going back to ירושלים Yerushalayim and to ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael, הבאים ha-ba'im. So if that's the case, says Rav Druk, if we are הבאים ha-ba'im, ארץ ישראל גבוה מכל הארצות, המקום הרוחני הטוב והנעלה ביותר, ארץ ישראל ולא ארץ מצרים Eretz Yisrael gavoha m'kol ha'aratzos, hamakom haruchni hatov v'hana'aleh b'yoser, Eretz Yisrael v'lo Eretz Mitzrayim. Don't ever forget and don't ever fail to remain connected to our homeland where we are from. Here's a long essay, I'll just skip to one of the part of it because it's one of my favorites. He's shared it and we've shared it before. We've shared it before.We say at the end of שמע, למען ירבו ימיכם וימי בניכם על האדמה ולא בחוץ לארץ Shema, l'maan yirbu yemeichem v'yemei vneichem al ha'adama v'lo b'chutz la'aretz. The end of שמע Shema we say, if you want to have longevity, if you want to live a long life, על האדמה al ha'adama, on our homeland. How could you live a long life on your homeland if we're not in our homeland? If right now we're living outside of our homeland? The Gemara in Brachos tells us that they told Rebbi Yochanan, איכא סבי בבבל ika sabei b'Bavel. What's a סבא saba? Saba. What's a סבא saba? A זקן zeida. There are old men in Bavel. So he said, how could there be old men in Bavel? It says למען ירבו ימיכם וימי בניכם על האדמה l'maan yirbu yemeichem v'yemei vneichem al ha'adama. You can only achieve longevity, old age, in our homeland, on our land, in the holy land. How could you be, how could there be old men in Bavel? So they answered, כיוון דאמרילי מקדימי ומחשכי לבי כנישתא keivan d'amrili, makdimi v'machshichei l'vei knishta. No no no, these old men, they come early and they leave late the shul, that's how they achieve their longevity. The Maharsha and the Kli Yakar and others explained based on this, do you know what that means? If you want a taste, the embassy of Israel in every community of the diaspora is where? It's not in Miami at the Israeli embassy. You know where it's found? Shul. ארץ ישראל גבוה מכל הארצות Eretz Yisrael gevoha m'kol ha'aratzos. That intense presence of the divine, that feeling of connection, of inspiration, both to our people and to our maker, that which Israel provides, where can we get a small taste of it even when we're not in Israel? In the shul. The shul. Not in a house minyan, not outside on the block, not in some other gathering place. It's in the shul. The shul that is the בית כנסת beis knesses. It's a place of gathering. That is the embassy. Just like the Israeli embassy in New York and the American embassy in Israel each have the sovereign status of the land they represent, they're bound by the laws of the land that they represent, the embassy, so too every shul is an embassy of the sanctity and holiness of the land of Israel. And that's how they are סבי בבבל sabei b'Bavel. That's how there are older people even in, even in Bavel. So, quick, מהרו ועלו אל אבי, maharu v'alu el avi, quick, go up, go up to dad and bring him down, but bring down some of that sanctity. So true, that's how Rav Druk is answering. We asked, we already mentioned going up so many times, why didn't Rashi make that comment earlier? The answer is because now you're going up to get dad and bring him down, now is when you need to bring down some of that sanctity, some of that holiness. Now is when they'll need to be embassies even outside of Israel because we're going to be in Egypt for a little while. פרק מ\"ה, פסוק כ\"א Perek mem hey, pasuk kaf alef.ויעשו כן בני ישראל ויתן להם יוסף עגלות על פי פרעה V'ya'asu chein bnei Yisrael v'yitein lahem Yosef agalos al pi Pharaoh. So the brothers were ready to go. Yosef gave them wagons based on Pharaoh's permission. ויתן להם צדה לדרך V'yitein lahem tzeida la'derech. And he gave them צדה לדרך tzeida la'derech. What's צדה לדרך tzeida la'derech? A little bag of food, a little pekel. He gave them a little snacks to take on the way. Wonders the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel. Wonders the תפארת שמואל Tiferes Shmuel. The great Rav Shmuel Berenbaum the Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir. מאחר שגרמו המטען של יוסף, אמתחות מלאות מזון, וידוע צריך להכין להם צדה לדרך Me'achar shegarmu hamatan shel Yosef, amtachos m'leos mazon, v'yadua tzarich l'hachin lahem tzeida la'derech. He already gave them provisions for the way. He already gave them food. Bring back this food to your father, to our father. So why on top of the food that he packed? Why on top of the meals that he packed? On top of that he also has to give them a little doggy bag of snacks? A little pekel of some snacks? What did he put in there? סתם stam a Bissli? What else? Some Cape Cod potato chips, some Trader Joe corn chips, some Rice Krispie treats, some Hanukkah gelt? He gave them each a little pack. האם יכלו אחים מלדעת כיצד להכין בעצמם את צדה ממה שנתן להם Hayim yachlu achim lada'at keitzad l'hachin b'atzmam et tzeidam m'mah shenasan lahem? They couldn't take these enormous packages of food he had given them the provisions and from that make a couple sandwiches? Could make a couple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or tuna fish sandwiches? Why did he have to give them both provisions and on top of the provisions he also gave them snacks? Says Rav Berenbaum, יש לומר שהכנת צדה לדרך הוא עניין של חיזוק ליציאה לדרך yesh lomar she'hachanas tzeida la'derech hu inyan shel chizuk l'yetzia la'derech. This is not just about something to eat. It's not just about having something to eat. אין הדבר בא על רקע של אוכל בלבד Ein ha'davar ba al reka shel ochel bilvad. Because that they had, they had food to eat, he already gave them big boxes of food. אלא הוא בעיקר להראות לו הערכה וחשיבות שדואגים לו שילך בטוב Ela hu b'ikar l'haros lo ha'aracha v'chashivus she'do'agim lo she'yelech b'tov. Why does a person pack snacks? Because I want you to think of Bobby and Zaidy on the way home. My grandchildren are going back today. It's a sad day. So when you give a few lollipops and a few candies, JetBlue has snacks or United or whatever airline they're flying, they have snacks. Why did Bobby and Zaidy have to pack snacks too? Because when you're on that plane on the way home, I want you to remember how much your Bobby and Zaidy love you. And are thinking about you and are going to miss you. And can't wait to see you again. When you take out that lollipop, you're getting a kiss from your Zaidy. You're getting a kiss from your Zaidy. So when you give someone a snack and you say you're going on your way, it was wonderful to have you for Shabbos, we're so nice you came for Hanukkah, it was great you came for the meal, take a little something. To take a little something is not for the food, because the person has access to food. To take a little something is I'm communicating, I'm messaging to you I care about you, I love you, and wherever you're going, take a little piece of me with you. Wherever you're going, remember me when you get there. Wherever you're going, keep a connection to where you just came from. And where do we see this from? Not coincidentally, Chazal darshan in the Gemara Sota, עגלה ערופה eglah arufah. זקני העיר Ziknei ha'ir, those learning the daf, we just covered this in Sanhedrin. The elders of the city, they find a corpse, a murder victim, and we can't find the murderer. We don't know the identity of the victim, we don't know the identity of the murderer. How are we going to solve this crime? We bring the Sanhedrin from Yerushalayim and they measure which city was closest, and then there's a whole, they break the neck of a calf that's never worked, and they recite a formula that includes that we didn't send this person away without provisions. We didn't fail to send them away. לא פטרנוהו בלא אוכל ובלא לוויה. ובשלמא אוכל ושתייה מובן Lo p'tarnuhu b'lo ochel u'v'lo l'vaya. U'vishlama ochel v'shtiya muvan. I understand what it means we didn't send them away without eating and drinking. הרי אדם ללא מזון עלול להתקל בקושי ולקום כנגד אויבים V'hinei adam l'lo mazon alul l'hitakel b'koshi v'lakum k'neged oyvim. How could a person journey, how could they have the energy to make it there, how could they fight whatever enemy they confront along the way if they don't have food? But what does it mean that we're not guilty because there's no guest that we didn't walk out? Who cares if you walk them out? Why can't I be sitting on the couch, open my belt buckle, I finished this delicious meal and I say to the person when they're ready to leave, close the door behind you. It was wonderful to spend time, next time at your place. And I don't have to get up off my couch. Why do I have to get up off my couch? Why do I have to walk the person out? Because, מרלו כבוד במה שדואג עבורו, על ידי זה מרגיש האורח חשיבות בעצמו mar'lo kavod b'mah she'doeg avuro, al yedei zeh margish ha'oreach chashivus b'atzmo. Because the person feels wow, wow, the honor I received, they walked me out. They care. They're walking me along the way. What happens when you talk to someone while you walk them out, what you're saying is, take me with you. Take this experience, this conversation, be changed by it, we'll both still remember it. וזהו מה שכתוב ויתן להם צדה לדרך, להדגיש את מידותיו הטובות של יוסף V'zehu mah she'kasuv v'yiten lahem tzeida la'derech, l'hadgish et midosav ha'tovos shel Yosef. Look at Yosef's good middos. And we're meant to emulate and walk in this way, that even if the person is on their way to have another big meal, they got plenty of food where they're going, they don't need your food. But you know why you pack them a little leftovers? You know why you give them a little snack? You know why you give them a little lollipop? What you're saying is I want you to remember me. In the car, on the plane, on the walk home when you get wherever you're going, this experience, I want you to remember me. When else do we see this and say this? מלווה מלכה Melaveh malkah. מלווה מלכה Melaveh malkah. מוצאי שבת Motzei Shabbos we continue to eat, to enjoy a little bit more from Shabbos. מלווה מלכה Melaveh malkah. That queen that we greeted on Friday night, לכה דודי L'cha Dodi, and that queen that we spent 25 hours with, known as Shabbos, now מלווה מלכה melaveh malkah, we're escorting the queen. Because what we're saying is, I want to stay connected until next Shabbos until you come back again. I'm walking you out, queen. I'm walking you out because I want to stay connected until you come back again next Shabbos. So it's not about the food, it's about the message and the messaging, it's about the relationship, it's about the einiklach, it's about those delicious little girls on the plane today remembering that Bobby and Zaidy love you and they give you a lollipop and they give you some snacks and they want you to be so excited to come back again.פרק מ\"ה, פסוק כ\"ד Perek mem hey, pasuk kaf daled. Turn the page. Yosef has another message for them too. וישלח את אחיו וילכו, ויאמר אליהם Vayishlach es echav v'yeilechu, vayomer aleihem. He sends his brothers, he has a parting message to them. They're going back, they're leaving, they're on their way back to their father to go get him and bring him down, and what's the parting message to them is, don't, אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech. Do not translate the word תרגזו tirgezu. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'darech. Do not become agitated on the way, says Artscroll. What's meant to agitated? What does agitated mean? Don't become agitated on the way. Why would they be agitated on the way? Hurry up, go get dad, and bring him down here. And then the parting message is, and whatever you do, on the way, אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech. Don't be תרגזו tirgezu on the way up. What does it mean? Rashi has three interpretations. And all of them are hinting that Yosef was alluding to a message for his brothers. The first, don't become engaged in, אל תתעסקו בדבר הלכה al titasku b'dvar halacha. Don't get in so engaged and engrossed in a matter of halacha. I thought that's noble. I thought we look up to that. Talking Torah, talking learning, talking דברי תורה divrei Torah. That's Yosef's parting message to his brothers? What's the matter with Yosef? He should say to them, the whole way home, learn Torah with one another. What do you mean אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech? Don't talk in Torah. What Yosef was telling, have you ever been so engrossed in a conversation, so deep in thought, that you missed your exit? I don't want you to get frustrated on the way so pay attention. Don't get lost in such a complicated, complex conversation of Torah that you're going to lose your way because I want you to get dad and bring him down. Even a noble topic, at the expense of the simple thing, be present, be in the moment, do what you're meant to be doing right then, don't get caught up in something else. So Rashi's first interpretation, don't get caught up in a sugya, and and therefore get confused from the simple things. Maybe what Yosef's really telling them is, don't get lost debating a noble topic at the expense of the simple things like don't get caught up in the sugya of hating me and get lost again along the way, don't repeat the mistake. Rashi's second suggestion, אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech is, don't go too quickly. Walk slowly. Wait, one second. Didn't a moment ago he said, מהרו ועלו אל אבי maharu v'alu el avi? Which is it? Mixed messaging. A minute ago he said מהרו maharu, go quickly. Now he says אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech, whoa, slow down. So which is it? Speed up, slow down, mixed messaging. The Sifsei Chachamim quotes the Gemara Taanis daf yud, that quick steps damage a person's eyesight. A person who walks too quickly will hurt their eyes. The Dubno Maggid, the Yitora Torah quotes the Dubno Maggid, who explains, what it means is when a person moves too quickly through life, when you take steps without pause, without thinking, without judgment, without consideration, when you move too quickly, it clouds your judgment. It blinds you. It blinds you. Eyes is a metaphor for judgment, for what we're looking at, what we're seeing. If you're moving too quickly, if you're judging too quickly, you're going to make mistakes. Walking through life literally and figuratively demands יישוב הדעת yishuv ha'daas, calmness, deliberation, thoughtfulness. מהרו Maharu, don't delay. Go with purpose. But simultaneously, אל תרגזו al tirgezu. Don't rush irresponsibly, be balanced. You know, we all know people who are analysis paralysis, analysis paralysis. They can't make a decision for the life of them. It takes forever, whether ordering in a restaurant, or choosing a vacation spot, or deciding about the job, or looking through all the shidduch resumes, analysis paralysis. They overthink it a billion and one different ways, it takes forever. So Yosef says, מהרו maharu. Come on, move with purpose, get this done. Don't analyze, over analyze or you become paralyzed. But be balanced. Don't go so quickly that you're going to go blind, you're going to have poor judgment, you're going to act impulsively and impetuously, you're going to make terrible mistakes, find that balance. And lastly, Rashi has a third pshat. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'darech means when you leave, don't fight. Don't place blame, don't quarrel. What would they be fighting about? He sends them on their way and he says whatever you do, don't fight. The third pshat in Rashi is אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech, whatever you're doing, don't fight. What would they be fighting about? I'll tell you what they'd be fighting about. I'll tell you what I'd be fighting about. Whose fault it was, who got them into this trouble. They've just lived this unbelievable drama. I'm not exaggerating or minimizing PTSD when I say they likely had PTSD. First they got rid of their brother, they live with such regret for it, 22 years, they see their father inconsolable and suffering. Then there's a famine in the land, they're starving to death, they go back, but they keep Shimon, they have to go back and tell their father, he says bring Binyamin, they take enormous responsibility, they make this arduous journey again, they bring Binyamin. Now a false accusation, he wants to keep Binyamin. Then, אני יוסף ani Yosef, the big reveal, everything, the picture becomes clear. You can imagine the fear they had that this Yosef, who boy, this brother is about to get even, he promises he won't, but how do they know that? Now they're on a journey back to go tell their father who's going to have a lot of questions, what do you mean he's still alive? You told me he was killed by a wild animal. Can't begin to imagine what's going through their minds and their hearts, and you know what they're likely going to be doing? Fighting with each other. Fighting. I said leave him alone. No, you said kill him. I said dip the coat will never work. I told you. Once reality sets in, Yosef's alive, and they're going to now face the consequences of what they've done, there's an enormous risk they're going to bicker and blame and battle. And Yosef's not interested in any of that. Yosef, who could have been thrilled by that image, Yosef, who could have been tremendously satisfied by the picture of their killing each other on the way home, that's not Yosef. All Yosef wants is peace and unity and serenity and love with his brothers. But it goes even deeper. The holy Muchener Rebbe, Rav Yisrael Tau, and his Divrei Yisrael quotes his Zaidy, the Rebbe of Kashmir, Rav Yechezkel Tau, who says something amazing. Yakov is telling his brothers something much more than don't just bicker or fight or blame. In those three words, Yakov diagnosed the issue that led to the whole episode and he was begging his brothers to correct it going forward and the Torah is begging every one of us. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'derech. You know what that means? כשהאתה עובד להבורא יתברך על פי איזה דרך, כשהאתה רואה שחברך אינו עובד על דרך זה שאתה הולך, אל תרגזו עליו, כי הרבה דרכים יש בעבודת הבורא יתברך K'she'ata oved l'haBorei yisbarach al pi eizeh derech, k'she'ata roeh she'chavercha eino oved al derech zeh she'ata holech, al tirgezu alav, ki harbeh drachim yesh b'avodas haBorei yisbarach. It means don't get angry about other people's דרך derech. Don't criticize, don't make them conform, don't marginalize them, don't get angry because they've taken another choice because you know what? There are many paths towards Hashem. After all, that's this image. There are 12 שפתים shvatim, there are 12 paths. There are 12 מנינים minyanim, BRS, this is the whole, this is our whole, this is our whole theme, this is who we are. Diversity and unity, there are 12 entrances to the Beis Hamikdash, 12 tribes, 12 perspectives, חסידים chasidim and מתנגדים misnagdim and אשכנזים Ashkenazim and ספרדים Sefardim. And you've got every every diversity of Am Yisrael. There are many paths towards Hashem. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'derech. Don't get angry because someone's on another דרך derech, says Yosef. Because look what happened, because I chose a different דרך derech than you, look what you did to me and look how we all wound up. So אל תרגזו בדרך al tirgezu ba'darech. Don't be ברוגז broiges because someone's on a different דרך derech. Let people choose their דרך derech, and even when they're off the דרך derech, let them make their way back on the דרך derech, and love them whatever דרך derech they're on. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'derech. Don't use Yiddishkeit as a weapon. Don't bludgeon or beat up others. Don't force or make conform everyone to be on your דרך derech. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'derech, because that's what led to this all. That's how we got into this problem to begin with. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'darech. You're going home now, you're going to get our father, turn the page, it's a new chapter for our family. We're going to have unity and love and we're going to allow and make room for people to choose their דרך derech. דרכיה דרכי נועם Dracheha darchei noam. The דרכים drachim of the Torah are pleasant. And that by the way is the message of Hanukkah. The Rambam, at the very end of Hilchos Chanukah, the Rambam writes, הרי שלפניו נר ביתו ונר חנוכה, או נר ביתו וקידוש היום, נר ביתו קודם משום שלום ביתו Harei shelefnav ner beiso v'ner Chanukah, o ner beiso v'kiddush hayom, ner beiso kodem mishum shalom beiso. שהשם נמחק על השלום בין איש לאשתו She'Hashem nimchak al ha'shalom bein ish l'ishto. If you only have enough money, enough resources to either pay for Shabbos candles or Hanukkah candles, which do you buy? Which do you pay for? Shabbos candles. Why? Because Shabbos candles represent שלום בית shalom bayis. גדול השלום שכל התורה ניתנה לעשות שלום בעולם Gadol ha'shalom she'kol haTorah nitna la'asos shalom ba'olam. Shalom is the greatest bracha. Shalom is the greatest thing. How do you know that? Because the pasuk says, דרכיה דרכי נועם וכל נתיבותיה שלום Dracheha darchei noam v'chol nesivoseha shalom. If your learning and practice of Torah make you intolerant of other people's דרך derech, that's not Torah. דרכיה Dracheha, the many paths of Torah are דרכי נועם darchei noam. They're pleasant and they're sweet and they're loving and they're embracing and they are uniting. And if Torah is making you intolerant and dismissive and rejecting and marginalizing of other people's דרך derech, then that's not Torah you're learning, because our Torah, דרכיה are דרכי נועם darchei noam. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'darech. אל תרגזו בדרך Al tirgezu ba'darech is Yosef's enduring message to his brothers, that's how he got into this and that's not how we're going to get out of it. פרק מ\"ה, פסוק כ\"ה Perek mem hey, pasuk kaf hey. וידברו אליו את כל דברי יוסף Vayidabru eilav es kol divrei Yosef. So they go and they report everything that Yosef has said, אשר דיבר אליהם asher diber aleihem. וירא את העגלות אשר שלח יוסף לשאת אותו Vayar es ha'agalos asher shalach Yosef la'seis oso. Yaakov sees the wagons. עגלות agalos are a hint to the last sugya, the last thing that they were learning together, which was עגלה ערופה eglah arufah. You have to escort people out, be מלווה melaveh as we spoke about. ותחי רוח יעקב אביהם Va'tichi ruach Yaakov avihem. And he came back to life. His spirit, his soul was restored, was restored. Says the holy אמרי אמת חסידות, הרחמסטריווקא רב Amarei Emes chassidus, the Rachmastrivka Rebbe. What does it mean? העגלות ha'agalos? He quotes the קדושת לוי Kedushas Levi. Even before we get to that. עגלה ערופה Eglah arufah. We'll skip to the קדושת לוי Kedushas Levi. Rav Levi Yitzchak says, what's in עגלות agalos, the wagons? Why are wagons called עגלות agalos? עגלות Agalos means לשון עיגול l'shon igul. What's עיגול igul? A circle. So why is a wagon called a circle? What does it have on it? Four wheels, the wheels, the circles are what makes the wagon go. So it's called an עגלה agalah because עיגול igul, the four circles, the wagons. עיגול רומז לסיבה ונסבב מן השמים. הכוונה דהנה סיבה שיעקב אבינו לא היה רוצה לרדת למצרים, מחמת צער של בני ישראל בעסוקם מצרים. על כן שלח יוסף עגלות, יראה ויתבונן בסיבה ראשונה של כל העגלות שהכל לטובה ועל ידי זה ינוח דעתו בירידתו למצרים Igul romez l'siba v'nisavev min hashamayim. Ha'kavana d'hinei siba she'Yaakov avinu lo haya rotzeh lereides l'Mitzrayim, machmas tza'ar shel Bnei Yisrael b'isukam Mitzrayim. Al kein shalach Yosef agalos, yireh v'yisbonein b'siba rishona shel kol ha'agalos she'hakol l'tova v'al yedei zeh yanuach da'ato b'yeridaso l'Mitzrayim. Yaakov doesn't want to go down to Egypt. Why would he want to leave the elevated spiritual high of Israel to go down to the morally corrupt, lowly place of Egypt? So Yosef sends him wheels to tell him that life works in circles and wheels. Come down because don't worry, we're going to go back up. Don't be afraid to come down, it's all part of God's master plan. Come down, we're going to do and get out of this place what we need to, and then we're going to go back up. Life is a wheel. Life is a circle. Life works in cycles. It's true for what's coming and it's true for what's just happened. And that's the message, says Rav Levi Yitzchak, what Yosef was embedding as a message to Yaakov was, I'm sending you these four wheels, these four circles, life is coming full circle. I haven't seen you in 22 years, there were dreams you thought were crazy, life is coming full circle. How can I allude that to you, feel safe to come down? I'm sending you four circles to remind you that life is coming full circle, full circle.Okay. פרק מ\"ה, פסוק כ\"ח Perek mem hey, pasuk kaf ches. ויאמר ישראל רב עוד יוסף בני חי Vayomer Yisrael rav, od Yosef bni chai. And now Yisrael, who's Yisrael? Not Yaakov. We've been playing this game. When the Torah calls him Yaakov, when the Torah calls him Yisrael, here the Torah's calling him what? Yisrael. ויאמר ישראל רב עוד יוסף בני חי Vayomer Yisrael, rav, od Yosef bni chai. Is Yosef my son still alive? אלכה ואראנו בטרם אמות Elcha v'er'enu b'terem amus. I need to go and I need to see him before I die. Why is he now confident to be able to go see him before he dies? Because Yosef sent him the wheels. Come down, it's going to go full circle, we're going to come out, you have nothing to worry about. How does he describe his son? ויאמר ישראל רב עוד יוסף בני Vayomer Yisrael rav, od Yosef bni. And says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum, this is a parallel. When Yosef reveals himself to his brothers, what does he say? העוד אבי חי? Ha'od avi chai? Now Yaakov says, עוד יוסף בני חי Od Yosef bni chai. He called him אבי avi, and now his father calls him יוסף בני חי Yosef bni chai. He could have just said עוד יוסף חי od Yosef chai or עוד בני חי od bni chai. Why does he say עוד יוסף בני חי od Yosef bni chai? Because the same way that Yosef was alluding to the father who had a unique, singular special relationship with him, Yaakov is now reciprocating and alluding, is my son, not the Yosef, which Yosef is alive? העוד יוסף בני? Ha'od Yosef bni? Is Yosef my son? The little ben Torah, the innocent, sweet, pure, delicious Yosef in my image, is that the Yosef? Or has he become changed? Is he different? Is he secular? Does he now have other ambitions? Who is this Yosef, viceroy of Egypt? עוד יוסף בני חי? Od Yosef bni chai? Is the Yosef who is בני bni? So Yosef asked about his father, עוד אבי חי? Od avi chai? And now his father asks about his son, עוד יוסף בני חי? Od Yosef bni chai? It's a beautiful parallelism, it's a beautiful symmetry taking place here. פרק מ\"ו, פסוק ד' Perek mem vav, pasuk daled. So Yaakov answers in the affirmative, I'll go down. Turn the page. אנכי ארד עמך מצרימה ואנכי אעלך גם עלה Anochi ereid imcha Mitzrayma v'anochi a'alcha gam alo. Yaakov says I'll go down and then God appears to him. Why does God appear to him right now? He hadn't appeared to him for a little while, why not? The whole time Yaakov was sad. Like Rabbi Nachman teaches, when you're sad, God can't appear to you. Nobody wants to be around sad people, including God. So when a person is down and out and sad and miserable and fabisen and negative and complaining and criticizing, nobody wants to be around them, not their family, not their friends, and not even the almighty God. That's why one of the prerequisites to prophecy is to be בשמחה b'simcha. You have to be happy. Doesn't mean you're not realistic, a person could be suffering, going through pain and still be very happy. You have to be בשמחה b'simcha. So now that Yaakov, who whom who was terribly inconsolable till now, now that Yaakov knows his son is alive, so the prophecy returns to him. God returns to him. And what does God say to him? Don't worry. Yes, it's safe. Go down. Because I'm going with you. אנכי ארד מצרימה Anochi ereid Mitzrayma. I am going down with you. And Rav Soloveitchik says on these words, אנכי ארד מצרימה Anochi ereid Mitzrayma, I'm going down with you. Not only are the Jewish people in exile, the שכינה Shechina too is in exile. Not only are the Jewish people homeless, the שכינה Shechina is also homeless. God himself participated in the march from Egypt. He traveled with us from Egypt because he also went with us into Egypt. He was in bondage, he was liberated with us. He was a fellow traveler, he wandered with us. It is not as if הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu remained in his transcendental abode after the destruction of the temple and guided the Jews from afar. He is in exile as much as we are. He comes with us. We should feel his love and feel his presence and feel his support and feel him navigating us through whatever we're going through. אנכי ארד עמך Anochi eireid imcha. God comes with us into our problems, God takes us out, אנכי אעלך גם עלה Anochi a'alcha gam aloh. When God says I'm coming with you, how does he describe it? אנכי Anochi. Why does he describe it as אנכי Anochi? I'm going with you. Says Reb Levi Yitzchak again in the קדושת לוי Kedushas Levi. Every time you see the word אנכי Anochi in the Torah, what should you think of? אנכי Anochi? עשרת הדברות Aseret HaDibrot, the Ten Commandments. The first one, I am the Lord your God, אנכי השם אלוקיך Anochi Hashem Elokecha. אנכי Anochi. So I'm going down with you to Egypt, says the קדושת לוי Kedushas Levi, אנכי ארד עמך מצרימה Anochi eireid imcha Mitzraima. אנכי אעלך גם עלה Anochi a'alcha gam aloh means I'm going down with you and I'm also taking you out and this is all part of the journey to אנכי Anochi. To be able to get to הר סיני Har Sinai, to get that Torah, to live our best selves, to live our fullest destiny. Part of the journey towards אנכי Anochi is אנכי ארד Anochi eireid. The אנכי Anochi that you're going to get at הר סיני Har Sinai, that אנכי Anochi is going down with you, that אנכי Anochi is coming up and out with you, and that's where you're going to end up is at the base of that mountain. אנכי אעלך גם עלה Anochi a'alcha gam aloh, I'm coming with you. Wherever you go and for the rest of time, השם Hashem says you're not on your own, you don't have to figure it out by yourself. I'm coming with you. We got more done than usual, but still came up short, but we're getting better. Life is a journey, we're trying to improve each and every week. Please remain to finish all of ספר תהילים Sefer Tehillim on this holy ראש חודש Rosh Chodesh and חנוכה Chanukah. Let's combine that energy to storm the heavens, that השם Hashem will give us בשורות טובות besorot tovot, ישועות yeshuot, ונחמות v'nechamot.
