Transcript
Okay good morning, good morning Boker Tov, welcome back to Living with Emuna. Our Emuna series is generously sponsored by Dr. Zvi and Bala Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of her mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We remain incredibly grateful to our dear friends the Morgans for their generosity and sponsorship. This morning is also sponsored by Harriet Yukelis in commemoration of the second Yahrtzeit of her beloved husband Barney Yukelis, whom we miss, a wonderful member of our community, and by Sarah Melen in honor of her father's Yahrtzeit Gil Melen, Gil ben Yechiel. Okay the emails continue to pour in which I'm so grateful for. Each and every one of them inspire me personally and I hope by sharing them with you they inspire you as well. So even if I don't get to being able to read all of them in the Shiur out loud, I read all of them myself. I'm collecting them and we'll get a chance at some point to share them, so please continue to send them. Also a Chanukah gift for you: if you've not yet taken a Caffeinate with Kavana, Caffeinate with Kavana cup please do, or a Turn the Page notebook about Modeh Ani. We're grateful to Hashem, every day's a new day. If you want to make a donation, there's a little kiosk in the lobby, feel free to donate any amount that you want, but we're happy for you to have and continue to promote and share to live with Emuna to be able to implement. Okay let's share some emails, we'll dive back into our wonderful text together. First email I'm really excited to share with you. Remember last week we spoke about the young man who was disappointed to find out his BMI didn't match and he was given only a short time, 11 days I think it was, to lose 7 kilo. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, in case you're wondering, he did it! After 10 tough days sticking to a crazy protocol, my son arrived for his weigh-in today at the draft center. He lost even more than the required 7 kilo. He was thrilled. He hugged the doctor and the soldiers who were there, he danced with joy. He's in the unit with his friends from his Yeshiva and he's over the moon. He worked so hard to accomplish his goal, he Dovened, he connected with Hashem through the process, he learned so much about himself and is finally ready to start his training and serve as a proud Israeli soldier. He reports at his base to begin tomorrow. He is where he's meant to be and so are we his parents. Giving it over to Hashem over and over again through the week and especially this morning helped us get through the stressful time. I'm sure I'll be needing Emuna muscle through his service. May Hashem protect him and all the soldiers while they do their vital work protecting us. What an email! What a mother, what a son, what soldiers! Mi Keamcha Yisrael as I said last week. Only the Israeli army is a kid not take, a young man not take his exemption and run, but he says I'm going to go on an insane diet for a week to get myself down to qualify to enlist, to show up, to be at basic training, to go to war, to battle, to defend my people. Mi Keamcha Yisrael. How lucky, how fortunate, how blessed we are to be part of such a people and to have such heroes and a mother and a father who raised him in such a way. So I'm so happy. You know often you get emails you don't know the follow-up. As a rabbi you meet with people all the time, you hear their problems and troubles, you have no idea how something worked out, so I'm grateful for that follow-up. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, good morning, to email you about your class last couple of weeks, Igeres HaRamban with the point you bring up about anger, but I haven't. Igeres HaRamban is what I teach before this on Wednesday mornings, the Ramban's letter to his son, the Ramban's letter to each and every one of us. But, but, the letter writer continues, I just listened to your Emuna Shiur and I'm in awe of how Hashem guided me so openly so now he's giving me an opportunity to email you about both. I teach the 48 ways of wisdom to a 12th-grade girls class. About a month ago in class we were discussing different Hashem moments the girls had and one girl was feeling so connected to Him that He was doing everything she was thinking about. She asked me, do I think my thoughts and Hashem makes it happen or He's putting it into my head? I wasn't sure how to answer it since they're high school age and not fully engrossed in living a life of Emuna and Bitachon yet and I felt the Bechirah question played a big role, I wasn't sure what to say. Thank you Hashem, class was over and I told her I'd try to get back to her. Thinking of emailing you or a different Rav, I thought about it, I did my Hishtadlus. Just yesterday I was thinking about it how I never heard back from the other Rav and of course now Hashem sends me your Emuna class where you address the exact question! I love Hashem, He always takes such perfect care of me. Number two, I wanted to share amazing insight that my 12-year-old daughter—remember the story in the Rova, the mother and the daughter pulling the suitcase who were detoured and wondered maybe they'd run into me in an airport and it turns out we met in the Rova in the old city. She was telling me she was talking to her friend about parents, a friend was saying how her mother yells at her and my daughter says it's so annoying, my mother never does, she just gives me talks. She then tells me the reason I want, why I want you to yell is because then I know I'm right because yelling at someone is never the right thing so obviously the parent is wrong. But if the parent is talking and calm, it means we probably did something wrong. I was amazed by how much truth there is to that. How obvious to our children. Thank you for the Shiur because anger we're learning in the Igeres HaRamban is all about anger. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, I was so excited to be sharing this story, I hope it'll be read so I can publicly thank Hashem and the world know just how much Hashem loves. loves each of us. I got a phone call from a friend who's living in Eretz Yisroel. Phone number came up as an Israeli phone number. I was confused to see who it was, letting the call go through because I don't have international calling. I couldn't talk that minute though, so I told her I'd call her back later. I called her back and it went through. So we spoke on the phone for 30 minutes. The back of my head I was thinking, I really hope I don't get charged for this call. Sure enough, 20 minutes after hanging up I get a text from T-Mobile. A bill for $132 for the international call. I think to myself, wow, okay, Gam zu letova. For some reason I don't know Hashem wanted me to not have this money. Decided okay, I'll pay it. It's annoying, but it's Hashem's plan, so I accept. I'm not exaggerating when I say less than 24 hours later, I get a phone call from work telling me that my hourly salary from last year to this year went up. She mistakenly miscalculated my hours from this year. My next paycheck will have an additional $122. Hashem paid me back with money I didn't know I even had, and money I accepted Hashem was taking away from me. Thank you for the Emunah class, they help me so much. Keep doing what you're doing, Hashem should bless our family, everybody much hatzlocha. Beautiful. Okay, so many more I want to tell you. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, the recent class on the topic of not having regret have been perfect timing for me, right? We're learning about that רשעים יש להם חרטה, reshaim meleim charatos. Chazal tell us, our Rabbis say, a sign of wickedness, wicked people are filled with regret, they're stuck in the past, they're looking backwards, they wish they did things differently. And the Baal Shem Tov taught because the question was, if you're filled with regret, so you're not a rasha, you're not a wicked person, you're a righteous person, you regret the mistakes you made. And if you're a righteous person, you wouldn't have regret. So what does it mean that wicked people have regret? And the Baal Shem Tov taught it's an expression of wickedness to be stuck in the past, looking back. Whatever we did, wherever Hashem put us, it was from Him. We didn't invest, we did invest, we watched, we looked, we went, we didn't go, we reacted that way. We learn from it, we grow from it, we do better next time, but stop feeling regret. Don't be stuck in the past, don't wish you could do things differently because you can't go back in time. So the recent class on this. I recently made a decision that had unintended consequences. And while I knew it was from Hashem and needed to work hard to accept it, I wanted to share a story that happened a few days in. I was sitting in the car with my two-year-old grandson waiting to pick someone up. My grandson got bored of sitting in his car seat, so I took him on my lap so he could drive with the steering wheel, which he enjoyed very much. I think they were parked, I hope they were parked. When it was time to leave, of course I put him back in the car seat and I thought, okay, Hashem, I get it. Thank you for letting me pretend to drive in my life. I'm going back to the back of the car where I belong. Thank you as always for the chizuk. We think that we're driving, we think we're in control, we think we're in the driver's seat, we're in the passenger seat. And there's nothing worse than being in the passenger seat and yelling at the person in the driver's seat. True. As someone who's often in the driver's seat, there's nothing worse than the person in the passenger seat or the person in the back seat who's yelling at you, barking instructions at you, screaming you're coming too close to the car in front of you. There's nothing worse. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't need us to scream at Him from the passenger seat or the back seat. He's in the driver's seat. Let go and let God and enjoy the ride. I always say to the theoretical person in the passenger seat who's yelling at me, hypothetically, I say you're lucky, you're fortunate, just go on your phone, say Tehillim, learn the parsha, make a, do something. You're lucky, just enjoy the ride. I'll get you there, I'll tell you when we're there, just enjoy the ride. So Hashem says to us, just enjoy the ride. I'm driving. Just enjoy the ride. So just like that little kid who could play with the steering wheel and think they're driving, we think we're in the driver's seat. reshaim are meleim charatos because they thought I was driving and I missed the turn, I was driving and I made a mistake. But if you know you were never driving, then you're not filled with regret or remorse, you just recognize that Hashem is in charge. We submit, we surrender, we let go, we let God, He's in charge. We do our best, it's hishtadlus. We have to make our effort. Last week's parsha, Yaakov wrestles with the angel all night long, Vayeavek ish imo. Zogt Onkelos, Onkelos' translation is teitch of the word vayeavek to wrestle is ve-ishtadel, hishtadlus. Make an effort, wrestle. We wrestle with ourselves to be better. We wrestle with the world around us to live the righteous way. We wrestle to live with Emunah. We have to make our effort. You can't sit back and wait for the world to hand you what you think is coming to you. It's not. Nobody's coming to rescue you, no one's giving it to you. We have to make our effort, show up, go to work, shop, cook, visit, do, take care, exercise. We have to make our effort. But once we've done it, let go and let God. Once we've done what we can do and what we need to do and what we should do, the rest is up to Him. He's driving. Don't look back, don't get stuck, don't perseverate, don't be paralyzed, don't be. Don't be held back. Let go. *Ribbono Shel Olam*. Yeah, you could have, should have, would have. That thinking will never accomplish anything good, ever. It just holds us back from living the present. You forfeit the present and you sabotage the future when you're stuck in the past. *Rasha'im Male'im Charatot*. He's the one driving, he's got the steering wheel, not us. Okay, one more because I know we're here to learn, to see the text. Okay, one more. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I graduated a couple months ago and chose a field to pursue after graduation for reasons I don't even know. I really disliked it and finding a job in the field I wanted to enter was extremely difficult. I applied to many positions and had great interviews but received rejection letters. At the time I was also dating someone for a while, so I figured it was *Hashgacha Pratis*, considering that if I married him, I would have to be out of town and I would find the job where I ended up. However, it was not meant to be and we broke up a couple of weeks ago. I started my search again, applying to places I promised I would never want to work, driven by desperation to escape the field I was in. At this point I felt lost with the breakup and the job rejections. I discovered your *Shiurim* during this time, for which I will forever be grateful. I could hear your voice in my head allowing me to acknowledge, I am where I am meant to be. No one but *Hashem* can get me out of this situation. I also realized I could not stay at my job any longer if I wanted to maintain my sanity. I just want to come back to because this is what we've been learning and focusing on. *Vayifga Bamakom*, יש השם במקום הזה. *Hashem* is wherever we are. We are where we're meant to be. When we're in that place, we're not stuck, we're not lost, we are where we're meant to be. Lean into that moment. *Hashem Bamakom Hazeh*, wherever we are. And as I've been teaching it and sharing it and preaching it, I've been trying to practice it. Yesterday I went to a wedding, a beautiful *Chasuna*, two members of our community, an incredible, incredible beautiful evening. Beautiful evening. But I don't know when, sometime over the last few years, they moved Surfside further away from us. I don't know what happened. When I first moved here it was 40 minutes away and incrementally it's gotten farther and farther. I don't know if earthquakes or the ground has moved. I don't know what happened. I didn't know that was possible, but it's gotten farther and farther. So now it's an hour and 40 minutes away from us. I don't know how that happened. So I needed to be there on time, I was helping with certain things at the beginning of the wedding, and I'm watching the traffic build up. And then when I got to the venue, just the block where it is took almost as long to get around the corner and inside as it did to get down there. And my first thought is, I'm watching the clock and now I'm late and I pride myself in being punctual and on time and what if they're ready to start and what if they need me and what if and I said, hey moron, you teach the *Emunah Shiur*. You get these emails. You preach all the time, you are where you're meant to be. And I have to tell you, again I'm saying this not to boast, it's actually the opposite. I'm telling you this to reveal how pathetic I am. But in that moment, when you take that deep breath and you realize, I left on time, I checked Waze, I did my *Hishtadlus*, I did everything responsible I was meant to do. And now there's a traffic jam turning the corner, finding the parking, getting inside, that's clearly what's meant to be from above. I'm meant to be in this car right now. I'm not meant to be yet there. And of course they were running behind, nobody was waiting for me or looking for me, I was well on time, I was able to hit the carving station before I was even needed. It was all fine. Only in my mind did I blow up this big deal and everyone's waiting and I'm in trouble and that's it, my career's over. You know, we tend to blow up and inflate every situation and after the fact we should have learned. I think it was Mark Twain who said, my life has been filled with many troubles, most of which have never happened. Some quote like that, right? We have all these problems in life most of which never actually happen. They're just our panic and our fear and our anxiety and our worry. But if we can in those moments lean in and say, יש השם במקום הזה. *Hashem* wants me on the corner of Collins and this is where He wants me. That's where He wants me. No cars are moving, this is where He wants me. So let go. Do something else, make a phone call, put on a *Shiur*, say *Tehillim*. This is where He wants you. So let go. And throughout life and again, that was a benign moment, that was an insignificant moment. And I know there are people who feel stuck, like the author of this email, who thought they were on their way to marriage and it turns out that didn't work out, who chose a path of a career she really doesn't love and is struggling to find a position. But if in those moments we could say, יש השם במקום הזה. Stop trying to escape the place you're in because it's where you're meant to be. And the moment that we lean into being in that place, the place opens up and we don't know where it leads to. We don't know where that place leads to. And that's why we're working on, not yet done, our luggage tags and our decal for the windshield and all these *Emunah* things, not to make any money off of them because I promise we don't, especially when we end up giving them away. But the reason we're producing them is so that the next time I'm stuck, I will look at that decal and realize, *bamkom hazeh*, lean in, *Yesh Hashem bamkom*, just lean in, it's where you're meant to be. And the next time you're sitting, that luggage tag shouldn't go on the luggage you check, it should go on your carry-on, and while you're waiting at the gate and the flight's getting further delayed or you're worried or there's no overhead or the person sitting next to you you see that decal, you'll see that luggage tag and it'll remind *bamkom hazeh*. This is your place. This is where you're meant to be. Back to the author. Back to the letter, the email. I could hear your voice in my head allowing me to know I'm not meant to be, no one but one but *Hashem* could get me out of the situation. I also realized I could not stay at my job any longer if I wanted to maintain my sanity. While reciting a *perek* of *Tehillim*, I emailed my supervisors an email I had drafted weeks ago stating I was quitting. Afterward I felt a sense of peace, knowing I was doing what I could only understand to be the right thing, and it was for the best, although I still don't know if it was right or wrong. An hour or two later I got a call from the job I interviewed for a week ago, ironically I thought it was my worst interview out of all of them, and *Baruch Hashem*, I got the job. Had I found this position months ago, I would have been upset I had to work there since I wanted to work somewhere with a great reputation. But now that I got this job, I couldn't be happier. Postscript: I drafted this email about two months ago, since then, that offer was rescinded due to my qualifications requiring me to interview again with a different department, that offer was rescinded, I leaned again on my *emuna* to help me. I had a second interview, I reached out to find out, a couple days later they called me with a job offer. At the time of this email, I'm almost two weeks into my new job, I don't know what *Hashem* has planned for me, I know it's for the best, all I have to do is stay calm and know He is in charge, thank you for the *shiurim*. Again, I could read more and more and more emails. The common theme of the emails right now, because it's the common theme of what we're learning, is יש ה׳ במקום הזה. Lean in. Whatever that place, you're not lost, you're not stuck, you're not displaced, you are where you're meant to be. Where are we meant to be? By definition we're not displaced, because if that's where we are after the effort we've made, then it's where we're meant to be, and accept it and lean into it and then we're going to figure it out based on it, we'll figure it out based on it. It's a beautiful *yeshiva*, the northern border, *Kiryat Shmona* in Israel. My nephew actually's in that *Hesder Yeshiva* who's been fighting in the army, he's actually visiting here *boker* of this week. That beautiful *yeshiva*, *Kiryat Shmona* went back last week. After 15 months of being displaced. And you might have seen the video that when the boys in the *yeshiva*, when the *bachurim* found out they were going back, they sang and they danced. They sang and they danced. You might have seen that video. Again, *mi ke-amcha Yisrael* singing and dancing, many of them themselves have been fighting nonstop and they're back in *yeshiva*, back to their *beis medrash*. So I happen to have a relationship with the *yeshiva* and I found out that, do you know what's been happening in the *yeshiva* in the 15 months that they've been displaced? Because it's on the northern border, it's literally a couple kilometers from Lebanon. The campus, they gave it to the army. That's where the army has been sitting and staging to go in and fight. 15,000 soldiers. Now, there was no housekeeping and no maintenance crew. 15 months of 15,000 soldiers sleeping and using and staging a campus, what do you think it looks like? You don't know. You can't imagine, you can't imagine the expense of putting it back together for these boys. So do you think these boys said, send the housekeeping, the cleaning ladies, let us know when my bed is made and the floor is mopped and I can go back to my dorm. These boys grabbed a mop and a broom, so let's get to work, let's put our *yeshiva* back, because the reason it's broken down is because it housed holy soldiers who've been defending our people. They went back. They could use a lot of *shekel*, if you want to donate and contribute, they need a lot, because believe it or not, believe it or not, they had to give their campus for free and weren't reimbursed, and they had to pay to relocate the *yeshiva*, because only the *rabbeim* were residents of the north for which they were reimbursed by the government. The *bachurim* who come from all over Israel were not reimbursed for being dislocated, for being relocated. So incredible, *mi ke-amcha Yisrael*. But they didn't have an attitude that they've been dislocated for 15 months, because a Jew is never dislocated. A Jew is where they're meant to be, where *Hashem* wants us. It's uncomfortable, it's inconvenient. These 80, 90,000 from the north who are beginning to go home, they are in some ways the unsung heroes of this war. They didn't get visitors and gifts and they haven't been spoiled and taken care of. They left their homes and their vineyards and their fields and their businesses and their schools and their *shuls* for 15 months, not for two weeks or a week or 10 days. But if a person has a mentality you're never dislocated, you are where you're meant to be, then you can endure, then you can be resilient, then you can lean in and embrace why you're there and what you're supposed to do while you're there until it's time to go back. Okay, back to *Emuna u-Vitachon*, *Rav David Abuchatzeira* of *Nahariya* and he says the following. על דרך זה הובא מהבעל שם טוב גם במקום אחר. So we quoted one teaching of the *Heilege Ba'al Shem*, the holy *Ba'al Shem* taught, *reshaim mele'im charata*. It's wickedness to be filled with regret. A Jew faces forward. A Jew lives forward. A Jew goes from now, how can I go forward? We don't live in regret, we don't live in the past, we don't live stuck, we don't perseverate. So the Baal Shem Tov has another teaching. ומפאת מתיקות ועריבות הדברים הנאמרים בלשון קדשו and because of the sweetness and the pleasantness and the deliciousness of what the Baal Shem Tov says, I'm going to give it in his words. כשנודע סוד זה לאדם צריך להבין שלא יהיה חילוק אצל האדם בדבר שהוא רוצה לעשות בין שנעשה דבר זה כרצונו ובין שלא נעשה כרצונו כיון שהכל מהבורא יתברך and when this secret is known to a person, they will understand that there is no chiluk etzel adam. There is no division, there's no breakdown, there's no tension with what someone wants to do and what Hashem does. הוא יודע שכן טוב לו שלא נגמר ונעשה כרצונך a person needs to know when we put in our effort, when we give our best, when we do what's meant for us to do, when we afterwards let go and let God, there's no regret, there's no remorse, there's no tension, there's no resentment, there's no anchor. The outcome is what's meant to be. ומכח זה לא יקפיד אדם לעולם לצער על איזה דבר שחשב לעשות ולא עלה בידו מכח לפועל so if a person had an idea, something they wanted to accomplish, they had a dream, they had a vision, they had a project, they had something they wanted to do within their family, within their own lives, for their community, for one of the mosdos, the institutions that they work hard on behalf of, they had a vision, had a dream, had a goal, and they executed to the best of their ability, but the outcome, the result didn't meet the expectation. Don't be disappointed and don't be resentful and certainly don't beat yourself up. Recognize it wasn't in Hashem's plan. שהוא יאמין שרצון הבורא הוא להיפך the will of Hashem was the opposite. ובודאי אם היה זה ישר לפני הבורא היה לי לסעד לגמור and if Hashem wanted this to come to fruition, if he wanted this shidduch to finish, if he wanted this business to take off, if he wanted this project to conclude, if he wanted this to happen, it would have happened. And if it didn't happen after I did all that I can, then it was not meant to be. You know, outside the construction, we're doing a big campus expansion. It's going to be incredible. If you were here this past Shabbos, you understand why. The minyanim were overflowing into the hallway and multiple simchas and you couldn't coordinate and Baruch Hashem, the learning and the davening and the activities and the youth and the teen and the outreach and the Israel advocacy, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem. It's an expensive proposition. We've incredibly generous donors who've gotten us a lot of the way there, but there's still a long way to go. And I bear an enormous amount of the responsibility to do the solicitations, the meetings, and I can't tell you how much emuna has helped me because there's a lot of rejection in fundraising. There's some rabbis who love fundraising, they live for fundraising, they get a high off fundraising. I live for the Emuna Shiur. I, that's why I stop and buy a lottery ticket every now and then, just to say Hashem, I want to learn and I want to teach your Torah and I want to be there to help your people, so let's just, let's do this the quick way. And then Hashem looks down at me and he laughs and he says, nice try Goldberg, get back to work. You're going to, you're going to, if you want this to happen, you gotta get to work. But when you live with emuna, you say when someone says not my thing or I don't want to give or I can't give or I'm not going to give the amount you asked, you say okay. I'm not angry at that person, it doesn't change my opinion, my relationship, my love of that person. If Hashem wants this to happen, he's going to send the money from somewhere else. And if we can't get to our goal, which is not an option, but if we can't get to our goal, then Hashem didn't want this to be. So whatever you're going through in life, you have dreams, big sheifos, big dreams, big visions for your personal life, for yourself, for your family, for your community, for Am Yisrael. If you go in with the attitude and the mentality it's all on me and my ego and what will happen if we fail and what will they say, then you destroy yourself. But if you go in and you say Hashem, you're my partner, you're the senior partner. And if you want this to happen, it will succeed. And if you don't, no matter what we do, we won't get there. Now let's get to work. I'm going to give it my all, I'm going to give it my absolute all, I'm going to leave it all out on the field, I'm going to give it my all. But I don't, I don't not sleep at night and I don't walk away dejected if someone says no, because if Hashem, I, this is my attitude. Because there's rejection and it's complicated, the people you love, the people you've done a lot for, the people you think have capacity, the people you think buy into what you're doing. And there are many people like that, which is why we're at where we're at so far. But not everybody does and there's no judgment because Hashem wants it to happen, it will happen. And if he doesn't, or he doesn't want it to happen at our pace, it'll be on his pace. ועכשיו שאין כח בידי לגמור בודאי לא עלה דבר זה לרצון לפני הבורא and if Hashem had me run out of steam for whatever it is, for whatever dream, whatever vision, whatever aim... For whatever goal, if the result doesn't match my expectation after I did the best I can because we're not looking to cop out, we're not looking for excuses, we're not looking to justify ourselves. We have to learn, we have to give our all, we have to do our best. But after we've done those things, if the result, if it's not what we thought or what was meant, let go. It's okay. ומכח זה עשו לי טובה עוד מכח זה שלא עשו לי דבר זה. Says the Baal Shem Tov, it's a sod gadol, it's a secret to happiness and joy and simcha and a skip in your step. Do you understand how much happier your life could be? You're not walking around miserable business, resentful and angry and bitter and critical of others and critical of yourself. Let go. Do your best. And then realize you're in Hashem's hands. It's his plan. Do our best for whatever project, big or small, for whatever goal, personal or mundane or religious. We do our best and then we let go and we start again. Okay, what's next? By the way, when we are successful, that's also only because of him. So lest you, this is what we're learning in Iggeret HaRamban, lest you walk around with your nose in the air, filled with pride, "it's all me, my success, my business, my entrepreneurship, my innovation, my hard work, my sweat and tears, it's my success. I'm the one who got it done, I'm the one who did it." Relax. הוא הנותן לך כח לעשות חיל. He gave you the strength, the ingenuity, the wisdom, the creativity, he gave you the courage, he gave you the success. It's all from him. Take pride that he gave you the talent and gifts and you've used them. Be proud of the hard work you put in and how you used them. But ultimately know that those gifts, those talents, they were on loan, never part of our permanent collection. They're on loan from Hashem, they could disappear any moment, they're never part of our permanent collection. So when you live your life this way, don't you realize how much happier it is? Don't you realize in a certain extent how carefree it is? The people who walk around all nervous and anxious and on edge, "how will this work out, how will that turn out, what's going to be with this, what will be there?" Whoa, just relax. Just relax. Take a nice bath and let go, relax. Just let it go. It's all good. Take a few deep breaths, restore your neshama through neshima. Take a few deep breaths, restore your soul through breathing. Connect with Hashem again and let go. Hashem, I worked hard on this drasha, I worked hard on this speech, I planned this simcha, I worked on that project, I chaired this event, and now you walk into it and you say Hashem and now it's all you. It's all you. The rest is up to you. And whatever the result will be, not only do I accept, I'm happy with because it's your will. You understand how much lighter you feel? How much lighter you feel? I think it's the Dubno Maggid who has a mashal. A wagon driver. A wagon is going from place A to place B. And there's a person who has all this luggage and packages and they ask for a ride. The wagon driver says, "Sure, there's a spot, there's space, come aboard, come on." So the person gets in and they're holding on to their luggage and they're clutching their packages and they're holding it still. So after a few minutes the wagon driver turns round and he says, "Put put your stuff down." So the person says, "No, no, I feel bad. It's nice enough that you're giving me the ride, I feel bad if you'd have to give the ride to my things too, so I'm just holding it." The wagon driver says, "It doesn't weigh any more if you put it down, so you might as well put it down and enjoy the ride. I'm carrying you and I'm carrying your things so you might as well put them down and enjoy the ride." And that's what the Ribbono shel Olam says to us, says the Baal Shem Tov, says the Dubno Maggid. Whatever peckele, whatever we're carrying, and there are real things that people are carrying, I know, there are real things that people are carrying. Whatever you're carrying, it put it down and enjoy the ride because it doesn't get lighter because you're holding onto it. You know what it gets? Heavier. That's the other mashal, it's not from the Dubno Maggid, it's of the professor who stands at the front of the room and holds up a beaker filled with water and turns to the students and says, "How much does this beaker weigh?" One says, "one ounce, three ounces, a pound." The professor looks at them and says, "You're right." Said, "You're right? Which one of us? We said different amounts. Who's right?" He says, "You're all right." "How could we all be right? We said different weights?" He says, "Because the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. When you pick it up, it's light, but you ever if you did resistance training, you can pick up light weights, just hold your arms, hold your arms like this with weights, which at first like this is nothing, this is no big deal. Okay, let me come back to you in 90 seconds. You ever try to, what's that called, plank? You ever plank?" Plank? You ever plank? First one second, it's easy. 90 seconds in, you're shaking, you're sweating, you're about to pass out. So the hold, the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says just put it down. Just put it down because nothing's heavy for me. So put it down. I'm giving you a ride, I'm giving your things a ride, so put your things down, put your pekelah down and enjoy the ride. That's what the Baal Shem Tov says. We do the best we can. We take our initiative, we make our effort, we do the best we can. And then let go and let God. Put it down and enjoy the ride. Enjoy the ride. You got to the airport on time, you made the... you did the... whatever you did. המאמין בהשם יתברך ובוטח בו אינו מתלונן על שום דבר בעולם. A person who has faith in Hashem, we know He created the world, we know He's in charge, we know He controls, we know He's the source of all of existence, we know that this whole world is an illusion, is a matrix, He is the reality. אינו מתלונן על שום דבר בעולם באשר תמיד הוא משנן לעצמו היפלא מהשם דבר. You never complain, and nothing is a wonder, and you're never resentful or disappointed or anxious, because hayipaleh me'Hashem davar? Nothing is beyond Hashem. He's in charge, He's in control. How many of these emails say, I love you Hashem and you're amazing and just then, and it worked out, and it turned out, and it happened. It was a guy this morning who told me a story here. He came out of... he was in Brooklyn. It's Ninth and Park, and he parked and I won't say where, but it's not a knock on the place, it could be anywhere. And he parked, he found the parking spot. And he came out of minyan and on top of his car someone had dumped garbage, dirty diapers, newspapers, peels, on top of his car filled with garbage. Filled with garbage. He didn't have in his budget or the time to go to a car wash. But he had to go to a car wash to get all this stuff and the smell and for his car to not be destroyed. And as he's getting in his car, and as he's preparing to go to a car wash, which wasn't in his budget, not of money and not of time, right then, a street cleaner with a pressure washer is coming down the street. And he says to the guy, could you give a shpritz? In Brooklyn you could probably say that to anybody, not only a Jew. Could you give a shpritz to my car, the top of my car? And the guy says, absolutely, my pleasure. Wipes off the top of his car, cleans it in 10 seconds. The guy says, you know, I come down this street once a year. Our route, you power wash once a year, and I wasn't meant to be here today, but I was sick last week, and that's why I'm here today. And the guy just happens to tell me the story after the emunah shiur. Says, listen to this amazing story, Hashem is amazing, so it didn't cost me money, didn't cost me time, Hashem sent the car wash to me. I don't know why He had someone dump garbage on my car, to figure out that reason, and we do, should look at ourselves and our lives and try to understand how can I grow, how can I learn, am I dumping my garbage, literal, metaphorical, on others? What do I learn from the fact that garbage was dumped on my car? I don't know, I got to learn. I don't know why He did it. But when I didn't have time or money to go to a car wash, punkt, Hashem rearranged the other guy's schedule so the car wash came to me. Hayipaleh me'Hashem davar? Can Hashem not make a car wash come to you? Nothing is beyond Hashem. Nothing. Nothing. Hayad Hashem tiktzar? ודומה בעיניו שיש לו כל צרכו ובלי שום מחסור. So whatever we have is what we're meant to have. We're never lacking, we're never missing. It is what we're meant... work hard, do what we can do, do the best that we do. But after that, whatever we have is what we're meant to have. Wherever we are is where we're meant to be. Stop stressing. Stop getting anxious, perseverating, stop sabotaging our own happiness, our own life. כך כתוב ודורשי השם לא יחסרו כל טוב. Dorshei Hashem, a pasuk in Tehillim, everyone knows this pasuk. ודורשי השם לא יחסרו כל טוב. The dorshei Hashem, those who seek Hashem, lo yachsru are not missing, what are they not missing? Kol tov. They have everything. If you're doresh Hashem, you're not missing anything. You're not missing anything. So the question is, are we dorshei Hashem? Are we dorshei Hashem? We have to be searchers and seekers of Hashem. If whatever your circumstance, wherever you are, whatever you have, whatever you're going through, you're looking for Hashem's hand. Hashem, I'm not upset... oh, I forgot, I left out the most important part of the story. The garbage was dumped on his car on his way into minyan. So it threw him a little bit, and then when he went into shul he said, Hashem, I'm not upset. I'm not bothered, I'm not angry, I'm not frustrated, You dumped the garbage on my car. And when I come out of minyan I'll figure it out. And that's what he said to me, he feels that Hashem sent the car wash to him, the car washer, because he told Hashem, I accept, I'm not angry, I'm not bitter, I'm not frustrated, You... it's from You, it's all from You. Dorshei Hashem in every moment, doresh, search, seek, look for Hashem. Look for Hashem in every place, in every moment, in every experience, in every person. And then לא יחסרו כל טוב. You won't be missing anything. be missing all the good. There's so much good. And how much good do we miss out on because instead of seeing what's right under our nose, instead of seeing the amazing people, the amazing experiences, amazing coincidences, instead we're so busy being anxious and resentful and frustrated and bitter and hypercritical that yachseru we're missing out on kol tuv, on all this good. Don't miss out on the tov, don't miss out on the good. Be dorshei Hashem, search and seek and look for Hashem and you'll see the good. גם הוא כן מרגיש בחסרון מסוים הרי הוא נושא על לבו שודאי כך היא טובה עשו. This is not easy and I don't want to minimize it. It's not easy. A person who doesn't know where their next meal is coming from or their next paycheck is coming from, how they're keeping the lights on, person who's worried about their health or the health of a loved one. So it's not simple. It's not simple to say this is where I'm meant to be, this is what Hashem wants, this is somehow for the good. Not simple. I don't want to minimize and suggest it's simple. But the fact that something is not simple doesn't mean it's not what we're meant to do, it's not what we're capable of doing. We are capable, says Rav David Abuhatzeira, to put in our heart שודאי כך היא טובה עשו. For sure, with certainty, this is for our good. כי אם באמת היה נצרך לאותו ענין בודאי לא הקדוש ברוך הוא מונע זאת ממנו. If I was meant to have that thing, then Hakadosh Baruch Hu would make sure it wasn't kept from me. If I don't have it, I wasn't meant to have it. If I didn't get this job, it wasn't the job for me. The shidduch didn't go through, it wasn't the right shidduch. אין מעצור להשם להושיע ברב או במעט, a pasuk in Shmuel. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Hakadosh Baruch Hu can make anything happen and nobody could prevent it, no matter how hard they try. So if I don't have it, it wasn't meant for me. This door closed, it's because Hashem's going to open up another. So stop trying to break down the door. You know what's going to happen? You're going to break down the door and you'll be in the wrong place. Don't force the issue. Sometimes a door closes, He opens up another, He opens up another. ועל כך מברך כל אחד מישראל בכל בוקר שעשה לי כל צרכי. So first Rav David Abuhatzeira opened our eyes to hamechin mitzadei gaver, He leads our footsteps, He takes us where we're meant to be, He takes us on that journey. I told you the story walking around the circle and I ran into somebody, hamechin mitzadei gaver, He always takes us where we're meant to be. And now Rav David Abuhatzeira is alerting us to another bracha we say every morning to start our day, שעשה לי כל צרכי, who does for me all my needs. ובודאי אין זו ברכה לבטלה. How could you say that? What do you mean Hashem does for me all my needs? But I didn't get the new car and the latest phone and that job and that income and the lab report that I wanted. So is it a bracha levatala? Are you taking God's name in vain? Are you wasting a blessing by saying Baruch Atah Hashem, we say every morning, Birchot Hashachar, שעשה לי כל צרכי? It's not a bracha levatala. Ela mai, it must be Hashem does do everything I need. Do my effort, take my initiative, and then what I have is what I'm meant to have, where I am is where I'm meant to be. ואם חסר לו דבר מה הרי זה סימן שאינו נצרך לו. That is a sign that you're not supposed to have it. The store ran out of the thing you need, the pharmacy ran out of the prescription, it won't be ready for another day, the thing, the car wasn't repaired on time, the dry cleaner wasn't closed. So what are you going to get? Angry, resentful, bitter, miserable? You didn't, you should've, you could've, you would've. Resha'im mele'im charata. You have charata, I knew I should've gone to the dry cleaner, I knew I should've checked the pharmacy a day earlier, I knew I should've... רשעים הם מלאים חרטות. Don't be filled with regret, don't get stuck in the past. Say, okay, next time I'll do differently, next time I'll learn from it, next time what can I extract? But I don't have regret. I'm not nervous, I'm not anxious, I'm not worried. I'm not meant to have it. They were meant to run out of it. I was meant to be the last one. אין זה בכלל מחסורו שהרי אין מחסור ליראיו. There is nothing missing or lacking. By definition, Hakadosh Baruch Hu provides and gives and sustains and does and we have what we're meant to have. It's a mentality, it's a way of life, it's a way of living. And I can't tell you how much better life is that way. I am testifying that yesterday I was anxious and nervous in the car and running late and I planned and I left on time and I used Waze and what is this and why and how and how could this be and won't it be and won't it happen? The moment I said, whoa, wait a second, what are you doing? What are you doing? You give the shiur. What are you doing? You are where you're meant to be. It still took a good eight minutes till I was ten minutes till I was inside. But those ten minutes were the best part of my ride because I was in conversation with Him about something else altogether because I had already let go. I was already not nervous anymore. I had already decided, okay, and if they are waiting... Okay, okay, what will be? What's the worst-case scenario? And it's not your fault. This is the way He made it. So it means by definition it's for the best. And I cannot tell you how much better your life is. I can't tell you how much better your life is and your relationship with your spouse and with your children, because it's all the way it's meant to be. So what does that mean? We shouldn't hold others accountable? I told you, this is complicated and we still have to fully unpack it. What does that mean? When your spouse or your child fails you on something they were supposed to do and you want to tell them, "I'm disappointed" or "I'm frustrating" or "I think you should apologize," and they say, "No, no, no, no, no, I listened to Goldberg's Emunah shiur. So you need to know that the thing I failed you on wasn't me, it was Hashem wanted you failed. Take it up with Him. Take it up with Him that my socks aren't next to the hamper, not in it. Take it up with Him. I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. Take it up with Him that I told you I left work but I still stayed another hour. Take it up with Him, because that's the way Hashem wanted me, it's when He wanted me to be home, that's how He wanted it to go down." No, it's not to the exclusion of being people being accountable and apologizing and taking responsibility and improving relationships. But it does help us on our side say we're going to have a conversation, going to ask him to do it differently or her to do it differently in the future, to learn from it because this is how it makes me feel, but I'm not going to be filled with rage and anger and resentment because there's Hashem in this equation. He's part of it. And he wasn't meant to be home while dinner was still warm for whatever reason tonight. So I'm not going to forfeit and lose and harm my marriage, I'm just going to have a calm conversation and work it out rather than what often escalates with a child, with a parent, with the school, with the rabbi, with the boss, with whatever it is in work. Ze matzinu, we'll finish up this paragraph, Be-parshas Hamisonenim. Actually, it's too long a paragraph. We'll stop here. We'll pick up with this next time. But this is, it's a way of life. It's a prescription for life. It is a prescription for life. And by the way, science is coming around more. If a person has a clinical diagnosis, 100 percent antidepressants, anxiety medication, half the world, I used to say half the world, the whole world's on it, needs it, should use it, there's no judgment or criticism of it, it's wonderful, we're blessed to live in such a time that these resources are available to us. Chalilah, God forbid, I'm not suggesting anyone should stop taking medication and just start listening to the Emunah shiur. What I am suggesting, we have to be very, very careful, but what I am suggesting is that science will now tell you that in addition to the medication, everyone needs the Emunah shiur. That a person who lives with faith will find greater happiness. A person who is willing to let go and to not be holding on so tight, let go of the reins and the controls, and you'll feel the smile on your face, life will be better. Should hear בשורות טובות ישועות ונחמות. Happy Chanukah, please take a caffeinate with kavannah, please take a turn the page if you do, please make a donation of any amount in the shul lobby.
