Transcript
Okay, good morning, boker tov, boker tov. Welcome back to Living with Emunah. It's great to be together. Don't forget to join our WhatsApp to keep up to date on the latest schedule, as it is somewhat still in flux this summer. For some bonus Emunah material, thoughts, and inspiration at rabbiephraimgoldberg.org/whatsapp. Emunah series is generously sponsored by Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We are incredibly grateful to the Morgans for their generosity, and a reminder you can sponsor any particular shiur as well. As always, we're going to share some Emunah stories, Emunah emails, and then we'll get into our learning, resume our learning. We're actually finishing this piece by Rav Moshe Shapiro ztz"l and concluding this Emes ve-Emunah, this thought that he's been trying to drive home about Hashem being not only in the abstract, theoretical, not only a thought, but in practice, putting it into practice. I wrote my article this week, I'll post it, maybe I posted it already in the group, I don't remember, about these two astronauts who are stuck in space. And it's fascinating to see. Their way home, when they tested it, it malfunctioned. It's not a safe way to return. So even though they were supposed to be there for eight days, they'll end up being there for eight months. I'm not touching the issur yichud issue of this male and female astronaut spending eight months in space together, how their spouses feel about it, but that's not my business, not my business. But they're spending eight months instead of eight days. And as I wrote in the article, it's interesting, NASA has gone out of its way to not use the word stuck or stranded. And the reason is because NASA right now is not—has necessarily the best reputation, and they don't want to look like they malfunctioned, that they're incompetent, that they did something wrong. And even the astronauts themselves said, "You know, we love it up here, we're cherishing our time, we're making the most of it," and all kinds of good stuff. So I wrote in the article, as we've shared here in this shiur before, the story of the Rebbe, when the women got stuck in Detroit and they called the Lubavitcher Rebbe's office. "We're stuck." He said, "A Yid, a Jew, is never stuck. If you're there, there's a reason." They went around the airport giving out candles. There are Jewish women in Detroit who still light candles for Shabbos because those women were "stuck" in the airport. We spoke about Sapir Cohen, who was held hostage for fifty-five days, who changed her paradigm, who looked at it differently: "I'm not stuck in Gaza. If I'm here, it's because it's where I'm meant to be. I have a mission. What's my purpose?" She decided her purpose was helping that young woman who was held hostage with her. The two of them, thank God, Baruch Hashem, were released earlier on, and she had a whole paradigm shift in her approach. And there are many more examples, and the key is the challenge to all of us, that when a person lives with Emunah, you know you're never stuck—not when you're online, not when you're waiting in the doctor's office, not when the flight is cancelled, not when you're in traffic. You're never stuck. You are where you're meant to be. A Yid, a Jew, is never stuck, and it's such a paradigm shift. It's hard. So the emes is to know it. The emes is to know that we are where wherever we're meant to be. I shared in the article, the Rebbe had an insight back in Sefer Bamidbar. The Torah talks about, "These are the journeys of the Jewish people," and then goes on to list forty-two times they stopped, forty-two times they encamped, forty-two times they unpacked. So why do you call something a journey if it, in fact, is describing unpacking, staying stationary, settling in? Why is that called a journey? And the Rebbe suggested because when a Jew settles in, that's a journey. Wherever you find yourself unpacking, wherever you find yourself, whether it is in the airport waiting for the next flight because yours was cancelled, whether it is at a red light taking way too long, whether it is wherever it is in life, a Jew is never stuck. It's all part of the journey. So we look at where we are, even when we're stationary, as part of our journey, our journey for life, as part of our journey through life. I flew back, Baruch Hashem, this week's flights—everything was on time. No story—I did have a story to tell, I told it yesterday about the young boy who, when we landed, said, "I'm Jewish too." I told that yesterday. But no story about being delayed. Baruch Hashem, everything worked like clockwork, bli ayin hara. But last week was flying back, and there were all kinds of delays because of the weather in Florida. Then as we're approaching, the pilot comes on and says, "Fort Lauderdale airport just closed because of lightning. We're going to go to Palm Beach instead," which is wonderful because it's closer than Fort Lauderdale, unless you have a car parked in Fort Lauderdale, then it's not so wonderful. And he said, "Don't worry, we're just going to wait and then we'll fly from there to Fort Lauderdale when it opens up again," which would be the shortest flight ever. But then he came on and he said, "Fort Lauderdale just opened up, we're going straight." Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem. So again, those are the winking moments, the smile moments, the hug from Hashem. Things worked out. We didn't panic when he said we're going to West Palm because you're never stuck. If that's where you're going, that's where you're meant to be. That's where we're meant to be. So those two astronauts, they're not stuck in space, they're not stranded in space—not because of NASA's reasons of liability or looking bad, but because if you believe in Hashem, and it's interesting the... But if we can live our lives where never stuck, we're never stranded, we are where we're meant to be, our lives will be richer and they'll be more meaningful, we'll be more calm and serene and healthy, and we'll have a sense of mission and purpose where we are, making the most of it. So a couple of emails, then we'll dive into the text. First one, we're going to start out the theme today of shidduchim. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, Baruch Hashem many of my close friends are married, about to be married, and are building incredible homes. I've been davening for my zivug, my spouse for many years, and I know Hashem will send me the right one at the right time. With that said, with that said, having the emunah is extremely difficult. I am now 24 years old. Ober, everything's relative. In many worlds, in the world, 24 is a very young age. If somebody's friends are all married and dating, and they've been dating for three or four years, 24 can feel like a lifetime. I'm 24 and I've struggled in shidduchim for a few years. I keep been keeping the motto of thank you Hashem for having it not work out after the first date, so I can continue to grow and live my life and make myself better for my zivug at the right time. With that said, it's especially hard when a friend meets their zivug upon their first time going out ever. And I'm extremely happy for them and I know that them finding their spouse is irrelevant for me finding mine, but it still hurts nonetheless when I've been working on myself to be able to build a bayis ne'eman. Then I recalled the story you told of the guy who had broken an engagement, continued to have emunah during such a difficult time and is now married, has a beautiful family. It truly gives me such chizuk. So thank you to that person who wrote that email because look how paying it forward, it's helping other people. I do hope and daven that Hashem brings my zivug as soon as possible. In the meantime, Hashem is telling me that for whatever reason now is not the time, similar to how Moshe wanted to see Hashem's front, but Hashem said he could only see his back. And a commentary explains this is a lesson for us, we won't understand nisyonos as they're happening, the tests as they're happening, but when we look back afterwards, we'll see why it had to be that way. I'm writing this to reinforce my emunah that one day B'ezrat Hashem soon, I'll understand that my zivug couldn't come now, but at a later point. Hashem has a bit bashert in store for me. Thank you, they truly helped me during the difficult times. By the way, my sabah's 94 years old bli ayin hara, and he likes listening to your podcast when I'm in the car driving him. With the story I mentioned from your shiur, I was re-listening to it with my sabah, and when we stopped the car, he asked, "Did he get married?" And I was so happy for him when I said, "Yes, Baruch Hashem, the guy got married." Okay, next email. I was recently began listening to your emunah shiur, and I've been taking the inspiration. Thank you for the recording so I can listen from New York. I'm really enjoying the message, blah blah blah, yada yada yada. I was dating a guy for a while and everything was going well. In the back of my mind, I was thinking that after a couple of years of dating, this could be the one. Out of the blue, he called me one night and said, "It's not going to work out." I was pretty devastated because so many things had made sense for me in the relationship. Deep down though, in the midst of my frustration and sadness, I knew that it wasn't this guy saying no, I knew it was directly from Hashem saying no. But it was very bitter pill to swallow and I wrestled with the idea for a while. In my head, I knew it to be true, but my heart did not accept it. It has been said the farthest distance between any two things in this world is the distance between the head and the heart. We spoke about this recently also, the tefillin, shel yad, shel rosh, the soldier who speaks in between has to send home from the front because if we can't take what we know and put it into practice into action, that gap, that distance between the head and the heart, between what we know to be true but executing it in practice, we can't have a soldier on the front who can't fulfill what they know to be true. So it's a struggle. Even when you go to the emunah shiur, even when you read the emunah books and newsletters and emails and texts, even when you keep up with trying to live with emunah, we can know the emes. This email is describing the emes. We can know the emes. We can know it's emes, it's true, it's true, but to take the emes and to put it in emunah, into practice, is much harder. Back to the email. After that, I tried to dive back into dating. I spoke with many shadchanim and friends, nothing was coming up. About a month later, I was listening to a podcast where a dating coach said, "If you really believe in everything is from Hashem and you've been doing all the hishtadlus, all your initiative in shidduchim, and nothing is coming to fruition, it's time to take a step back and go on a bitachon cleanse where you do nothing for a month." That was the advice of whoever she was listening to. No hishtadlus, no running around trying to control the situation, just let go and let God. I knew this was exactly what I needed. I stopped running around and making phone calls. One night I was feeling down and I was feeling like I could use a burst of emunah. I typed emunah into Apple podcasts and your shiurim popped up. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to hear that being mekabel b'ahava after a devastating loss and that rabbanim were delayed in the airport so they could make a bar mitzvah, it brought so much menuchas hanefesh. Remember those stories? I turned to Hashem that night and I said, "I'm not going to wallow in stress, I'm giving my stress to you." The next day, I continued to listen to the emunah shiur on the way to work. After work, I was scrolling through my missed messages and I could not believe what I was seeing. Not one, but two guys had given yeses. Now, if you're not holding in the world of shidduchim, it sounds absurd, but that's how it works in this backward, upside down, broken world. system of our own doing. We live in a world where it's much easier for men, young men than young women, often they're asked first, a young woman is waiting to find out if she qualified, if she got the yes, and it can be a tremendously painful waiting, aggravating experience. But anyway, she scrolled, so anyway, a segulah for shidduchim is listening to the emuna shiur, that's what I take out of this. You speak about a wink from Hashem, this was a double wink, this was a hug. Hashem was letting me know that I'm exactly on the right path, just keep going. I'm exactly where I need to be, I have so much hakaras hatov for the shiur, I plan to continue listening, thank you for helping strengthen my emuna. I don't yet know the end of the story, so we'll see how it works out. So, hopefully we don't know the end, but it's hard. These are nisyonos, that waiting, anything you have to wait for. You're waiting for a spouse, you're waiting to get pregnant and have a child, you're waiting for good news about parnassa to pay your bills, you're waiting to get into school, you're waiting. That's where the emuna kicks in, is in that waiting to lean into the wait and to embrace that experience and to take the step back and let go and let God and to totally surrender to Him and say, I am where I'm meant to be and this will take however much time it's meant to take, and You're in charge, You're in control, not me. I surrender to You, I take all my initiative, I do everything that I can, and after that, I put myself in Your hands. One more. I have emuna email to story I'd like to share. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I recently started listening to the series and I'm inspired by all the Torah discussed and the stories that are shared. I'd like to recount a recent situation that tested my bitachon. I'm in shidduchim and a few weeks ago I was struggling with a shidduch-related incident. I'm not going to detail what happened but after the whole situation was over, I was really upset and annoyed at the whole general circumstance and a bunch of people. I believe the process could have gone much smoother and a lot of human error, miscommunication that occurred could have been avoided. For a few days after I was trying to convince myself bitachon pep talks. Everything's for the best, it's all from Hashem. I was trying to convince myself everything's okay. Logically I know that Hashem only gives me good but my heart refused to accept the logic. I was annoyed at the shadchan, annoyed at the boy, annoyed at my parents, annoyed at myself, and annoyed at Hashem. I want to pause for a moment because I want to just say what we've shared many times but it's important to reiterate that it's okay to be annoyed and those feelings are okay, the feelings are okay. You remember we shared an insight years ago Rav Bender shlita had on the Torah tells not if but when, when you will worry if you keep Shmita, what will I eat in the seventh year? If I let the land lay fallow, if I don't take an income, if it's an unpaid sabbatical, I'm worried, what will I eat? And the Torah says don't worry, if you observe Shmita with faith, Hashem will give enough in the sixth year to have for the sixth, seventh, and eighth. And Rav Bender quoted commentaries who say, why does the Torah it should say if you'll worry, not when you'll worry. And he said because the Torah wants to give you permission to be human, to be mortal, to have human experiences and human emotions. And you know what? You'll be a little anxious, you'll be a little that's okay. That doesn't mean you don't have bitachon and emuna, it doesn't mean you don't live with Hashem. It means you're human, it means you're human with human feelings and human emotions and human worries, human experiences, human reactions, human responses, and that's okay. So a person went through a hard and a painful situation and people who could have acted differently failed them, it's okay to be frustrated and it's okay to need to work through those feelings. And that is not a contradiction and that is not a fail of emuna bitachon. If a person says this didn't have to happen, I exclusively blame these other people, it's all their fault, that's a breakdown of emuna bitachon. But to say this had to happen for whatever reason, it didn't have to happen through them, so I hope they can learn from it, act differently in the future, take responsibility. And the evidence, the evidence that this approach is correct is we're about to enter the month of Elul and in the month of Elul and beyond Aseres Yemei Teshuva we spend the time asking forgiveness, earning forgiveness from one another. Why do we have to do that? Why don't we just say to the person that we hurt, why do I have to say I'm sorry? Hashem wanted you to be hurt by me and your need for me to apologize, your need for me to apologize is because you don't have emuna and bitachon. Why don't we say that? That should be a good takeaway from the emuna shiur. Instead of going on an apology tour for the month of Elul, instead of making amends as one of the steps of the program, we'll go around to everyone we hurt and we'll give the emuna pep talk and rebuke and say, you only have a need for me to apologize because you're a heretic atheist ayzvarf reject and if you had enough emuna and bitachon then you would have no need for me to apologize because you'd realize that I was just the agent of Hashem when I spread all that gossip about you, when I called you all those names, when I hurt you so badly, when I stole your money, when I took advantage of your I was just doing what Hashem wanted to have happen to you. So I don't have to ask forgiveness, I don't have to say I'm sorry and the fact that you need that is because you have no emuna. problems. We don't do that. What do we say? We go around and we say if we hurt people, we have to make amends. We have to take responsibility, accountability. We have to ask for forgiveness. We have to regret the past and we have to make a commitment to change for the future. Why? The other people don't have emuna because it's not a contradiction. A victim of somebody else's poor behavior can simultaneously realize that whatever I went through and am going through couldn't have happened if Hashem wasn't okay with it. Couldn't have happened without Hashem being okay with it. However, simultaneously I need to work through the relationship with the other. They have to earn forgiveness, ask for forgiveness. If it's appropriate, there's compensation. If somebody hits my car, they come and say, I'm not paying for that, that was from Hashem. No, we have a halacha. We have a whole section of Shulchan Aruch called Choshen Mishpat. We have rabbinical courts called Beis Din. And we have whole masechtas of Shas that are organized around figuring out who's liable, what do they have to pay. What should happen? The victim should say, I'm not upset, it was from Hashem that I have this dent, that I have this damage. Whatever reason it was meant to be, you have to pay for it because you did it. I love you, give me a hug, you gotta pay for it. And it's from Hashem, so I'm not upset about it and I have no desire for revenge because of it. Sefer HaChinuch writes in the mitzvah of לא תקום ולא תטור. Torah tells us that a Jew is forbidden to take revenge. You're not allowed to. And the Sefer HaChinuch writes why? Because if I want to take revenge against you, I've knocked God out of the equation. If you did something to me and now I want to reciprocate, now I want to pay it forward to you, now I want to take revenge against you, then I am knocking God out of the equation. I am denying His role in whatever happened to me. So I can't take revenge, writes the Sefer HaChinuch, but I can hold you accountable. If you hurt me or caused damage or injury, you have to pay. You have to pay, but not in a way that I would want to take revenge. I realize whatever happened came from Hashem, but you have to pay because you did—you did something wrong. I can't tell you how empowering that is to live life that way, to be able to live simultaneously with those two truths. There's a truth that it came from Hashem, it couldn't have happened without Him. And there's a truth that you did it, you're accountable, you could've done better. And if Hashem wanted that to happen, it could've happened some other way. It didn't have to be through you. If it was through you, you need to work that through. You need to take responsibility, you need to apologize. You need to own up. So I come back to this email because it's very, very important. Very, very important. If there are people who failed us or hurt us or injured us, it's okay to have to work that through. It's okay to have a conversation calmly with the goal of repair and reconciliation. It's okay to hold them accountable and make them or expect them to apologize and to earn forgiveness. That is not a contradiction, stira to emuna. At the same time to realize that whatever happened, happened. It's all part of Hashem's plan and it was meant to be. They're both true at the same time. They're not a contradiction to one another. Just like if you remember a few years ago we read Rav Lichter's article where he spoke about his Rebbe, Rav Wolbe, who left the shiva call with him from a great Rosh Yeshiva who was sitting shiva for his wife, who that Rosh Yeshiva sitting shiva said, everything's from Hashem and this was meant to be and I'm so happy for the years that I had her and therefore I'm not sad. And Rav Wolbe commented to Rav Lichter, the Rosh Yeshiva is going to crash and burn because it's going to kick in that his wife is gone. And it's not a contradiction to have emuna and be sad. We're supposed to be sad. We lose someone we love, we go through a hard time, we make a bracha Dayan HaEmes, mevarchin al hara. We—you should be sad. Aveilus—there's sadness. There's grief. There's loss. It's not a contradiction to say whatever happened is somehow, as painful as it is, as incomprehensible as it is, as hard as it is to understand, it's from Hashem, but it's also sad. Those are not a contradiction. And neither is being disappointed in someone and holding them accountable and also realizing it's from Hashem. There's enough room and space for us to be able to hold two things at the same time. And that's really, really important. So back to this email that this letter writer says, I know it was from Hashem, but I was still annoyed at the shadchan, the boy, my parents, myself, and Hashem. That's okay. Gotta work all that through. That's okay. There's enough to have to work through without beating yourself up: why do I feel this way, if I really had emuna I wouldn't have these feelings. Don't beat yourself up. You're human. When a person, when a Jew will ask in the sixth year, what will I—what will I eat in the seventh year? Says Rav Bender, not if, but when, because you're human and that's okay. And when a person has experienced a loss, you're going to feel sad. That's human, that's okay. The Rambam writes in the laws of aveilus that a Jew who loses someone and doesn't feel sad is cruel. That's cruelty. It means that you didn't love. And you don't miss the one that you lost. Because if you don't feel sad, that's cruel. That's cruel to the soul of the one who's no longer here. So it's not only not something virtuous, it's not only is something not to aspire to, it's cruel and it's wrong. And the same is true. Back to the letter. After a few days of this I decided enough was enough. It was time to face my emotions head-on. I sat down with myself, closed my eyes and started to dig deep and get in touch with what I was feeling. I realized I was angry, so I allowed that anger to remain and did not push it away. Because what you resist, persists. I even validated it. Then I went a bit deeper and determined the anger was coming from fear. I was scared. What was I scared of? I was scared of loneliness. Wow. I was scared of loneliness on a literal level. What if I never get married, remain alone forever? I was scared of loneliness on a deeper, spiritual level. I felt that Hashem abandoned me. He left me. I felt very alone. As soon as I pinpointed the fear, I felt a release. I felt a lightness, a warmth wash over my body. I realized I'm never ever alone. Hashem is right beside me, holding me in his arms and guiding me in the direction I need to go. Before this experience I could have told you the exact same thing because logically I know everything that Hashem does is for the best. But now I can say these words with a deep internal knowing, a deep sense Hashem loves me to no end. He's orchestrated my life exactly how it's supposed to be. Everything he does is good even if I perceive it as bad. And right now at this moment I'm exactly where I am meant to be. Exactly where I'm meant to be. One more shidduch story. Well let's get to our text. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Let's get back to our learning. We'll pick up more. Please keep sending the emails. I appreciate them and they're beautiful and inspiring. Each one is a shiur unto itself. That description that she just had about how she leaned into the anger, worked it through, and felt the release, each one is an incredible shiur in its own right. So please keep sending and we can keep sharing. We're on page chaf-vav Re'ei Emunah of רב משה שפירא זצ"ל where he's going through the Rambam's yud-gimmel ikkarim, the Rambam's 13 principles of faith, and emes emunah, emes the truth of Hashem, emunah is putting it into practice. Mikan, we're in the third full paragraph on that page, שהאמונה בעיקר אינה נגמרת בידיעתו. Real emunah doesn't end with knowledge, it doesn't end in the head, אלא עד שיהא אפשר להצביע עליה באצבע ולומר זה. Real emunah doesn't end in the head, it starts in the head, and it's got to trickle down and come where? To the heart. If you remember we spoke about Avraham Avinu. Avraham Avinu at that young age discovered God because he thought that every building has an architect, every painting has a painter, every sculpture has a sculptor. So then every soul, every person has a creator. And then he met the ba'al ha-birah, he met the creator. And why did he have to meet the creator? Rav Moshe Shapiro suggested because until then he had the emes, he discovered a truth in abstract, conceptually. But he had to meet the creator means it had to be put into practice. We have to meet the creator, we have to have ongoing conversations with the creator. We have to speak to God and we have to hear God speaking to us through this world. And then we saw that Esav ha-rasha violated five things. One was he was kofer be-ikkar. He was a heretic. Why? Because he said למה זה לי בכורה? What do I need this firstborn status for? And he used the word zeh. And where else do we see the word zeh? shifchah al ha-yam, the maidservant on the sea after the sea split, crossed, and sang Az Yashir and said zeh keili ve-anveihu. This is my God and I will glorify him. Zeh. Zeh. So you see, to be able to point, emes is there's a God. I can quote all the evidence. I can tell you all the proof of his existence. Emes is I went to the seminar, I saw the Bible codes. Emunah is I could point and say zeh. That was God. That was God for the good when it worked out. The shidduch fell apart, zeh keili, this is God. The flight was cancelled, zeh keili, that's also God. When we can point with our finger, that's the point that we realize that we're a believer. To be a believer, to live with emunah is not to be able to regurgitate, repeat the evidence for Hashem's existence, the emes. He doesn't need you for that. He exists whether you believe it, know it, have a relationship with him or not. He doesn't need you for that. That's emes. The emunah is zeh keili ve-anveihu. To live so alive, so vibrant, so real that we point with our finger and say zeh. ומכאן שהאמונה בעיקר אינה נגמרת בידיעתו. It doesn't end with knowledge, אלא עד שיהא אפשר להצביע, it has to be trickle from our head through our heart out our forefinger. In the head, in the head, yes I know he's there, here's how I know he's there, here's my knowledge. How do I know about Hashem? The Rambam writes two ways. Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah, the Rambam says there are two ways that you know Hashem. How? You could know Hashem through his Torah, he gave us his diary, that's the highest and the greatest and the best. It's the air that we breathe, his Torah is his diary. He said, read my diary, you'll know me. The other way is study my world. The Rambam says essentially, biology... Biology, chemistry, physics, go see the Alps and the Grand Canyon, go see the North Chermon, go see my world and you'll know me. Those are the two ways that you'll come to see me and to know me, learn about me, connect with me through my diary and through my creation, through my through my world. And when you do, you'll know first in the head and then it comes down through the heart. And when you have the head and the heart, then it comes out through the finger because you say Zeh Keli Ve'anveihu. You know where it comes out with the finger? When you use your finger to press your Hashgacha Pratis WhatsApp group that I hope you've all started by now. And when you open the group and you leave a message: "Can't believe this thing worked out and Baruch Hashem and it's all good and amazing, amazing." Or it didn't work out, but that's also amazing because that's the way it was meant to be. "This was disappointing, this didn't work out" and you leave that message in the group too. In the head, down to the heart, out through the finger, Zeh Keli Ve'anveihu. In that Emunah WhatsApp group, to a friend, "I want to tell you a story, listen to what happened to me," and that was Hashem and I feel His presence and He's winking, nodding, or hugging for the good or for the bad, but zeh, it came from my head through my heart and out my finger. והוא לא רק קיים אלא קיים בנוכח המציאות כולה אומרת את העיקר. He doesn't just exist, but He exists opposite me. He doesn't just exist theoretically, He exists and He's in my life, He's my reality. כך נגמרה האמונה של אברהם אחר שהוא גמר בדעתו שאי אפשר לבירה בלא מנהיג עדיין לא נחשב הדבר לאמונה שלמה. When Avram knew, even when he concluded that, even when he concluded that there is a God and a creator, but it wasn't real until he met the Ba'al HaBirah. כאשר הקדוש ברוך הוא הציץ עליו ונתגלה לו באופן שהוא יכול לומר עליו זה אז הגיעה אמונתו לשלמותה. So Avraham Avinu had the theoretical, conceptual, academic, abstract discovery of God, the intellectual discovery of God. Then there has to be the emotional discovery of God. You know, sort of like the author of that email said, "I knew even when the shidduch went wrong and I was upset at all these people, I knew intellectually it was all from Hashem, but I hadn't experienced that emotionally. And it's only when I stopped and closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths and leaned into that anger and that feeling, I was able to take what I knew intellectually and to experience it emotionally. And now that I understood it intellectually and emotionally, now I can experience it practically, in practice and put it into practice." Okay, next and last section of this piece, Yud Alef. Nissayem Bedivrei Chazal, says Rav Moshe Shapiro, we'll end with an insight of our great rabbis, Chazal, the Mechilta, the Midrash Halacha in Beshallach, on Parshas HaShira. That's where this shira appears. What's the shira? Az Yashir. Jewish people walked through that split sea, came out the other side and said "Wow! Wow!" When I felt the walls were caving in, when I thought there was no way out, when I thought this wasn't going to be, all of a sudden, You split my sea. And the sea splits for us often and frequently and regularly. We feel those walls are caving in, in shidduchim and infertility and in parnassa, in livelihood, and in relationships that we think are damaged beyond repair. We think the world is caving in on October 7th for the Jewish people and anti-Semitism. And we don't know. Yesterday we woke up to such besoros tovos, a hostage, another was rescued. When that should just continue, should have besoros tovos daily, daily, please God, until it's all over, we should see our sea split and our enemies drowned and come out that other side and sing that shira and sing that shira. And what was the shira? So this is what Chazal, this is what our rabbis said. אז ישיר משה ובני ישראל. Then the Jewish people and Moshe sang. ר' נחמיה אומר כל מקבל עליו מצווה אחת באמונה כדאי הוא שתשרה עליו רוח הקודש. A Jew accepts upon himself one mitzvah with Emunah, with Emunah, it is worthwhile, they merit for the Divine Presence to rest on them. שכן מצינו באבותינו שבשכר אמונה שהאמינו אבותינו בהשם זכו ושרתה עליהם רוח הקודש. Because we see that with the Jewish people, bless you. The Jewish people came out of Egypt. And when they came out of Egypt, they were on the 49th level of tumah. They were so impure, moral corruption, moral chaos, moral decay, moral decadence. Jewish people were on the lowest, lowest, lowest level, lowest level. A Jew could be on the lowest level, but one moment and one mitzvah of Emunah, and all of a sudden they fly and now they're worthy of Hashem dwelling on them. So a Jew could spend the whole night scrolling through filth. A Jew could make terrible mistakes and gossip and slander with their tongue. A Jew could go to the wrong place or listen to the wrong thing. A Jew could file the wrong taxes. A Jew could make terrible mistakes and be filled with tumah. But all of a sudden one moment, one moment where they say "It's not who I am or who I could be, and Hashem, I see You and I feel You and I'm responsible to You and I want a relationship with You." V'omru Shira, all of a sudden the Jewish people... They came out of that filth, that 49th level of tuma, they came out of that place of moral chaos and corruption, they were spiritually lost, but they had one moment on the opposite side of that sea. One moment of feeling His presence and connection, one moment of undeniable hug with Hashem. ויאמינו בה' ובמשה עבדו אז ישיר משה ובני ישראל. In that one moment, they went from being lost souls to feeling His presence, to singing His song, to meriting to be divinely inspired to sing His song. In that one moment, in that one moment. I told the story several years ago of a young man who came to visit me, who had grown up very religious and went through a lot of challenges and struggles in life and had dropped religion. And he came to me the night before he had a court case, he was appearing before a judge, he was towards the end of a very complicated matter that was part of the worst of the life that he had been leading. And even though he had changed and rehabilitated and recovered from so much in his life, the judge was still going to decide whether he was convinced. And he was appearing before the judge, and he came to me and he said, I don't know what to do because I need Hashem, but I haven't spoken to Him in so long, I don't know how to go back. And I don't know if He wants to hear from me because why would He want to hear from me when I haven't spoken to Him in so long and just because I need something now all of a sudden I'm going to call Him up. Remember I told you the story? And he came to meet with me. That's why I repeat the stories because I know you forget because I forget. So I'll tell you what I told him, this young man who's a great young man, I'm still in touch with him. What I told him is he wasn't yet and is not yet a father, please God when the time will be right. I said I could tell you as a parent, if you have a child that God forbid, God forbid, God forbid is estranged from you and hasn't spoken to you and is distant from you, and when they come and they meet, and even if the reason is they say, I need your help, I'm going through something and I can't get through it without you, and maybe I should have come earlier and I'm sorry we haven't been in touch, but I need your help. The parent doesn't say, where have you been, you haven't been in touch, you only need me now. The parent says, come here, I want to give you a hug, I'm so happy you're back. How can I help you? What can I do? And how can we build on this? Where can we go from here? Hashem is sitting and He's waiting. He is waiting by His spiritual phone. Every day that you don't call, He's been devastated and He's not looking to get even or pay it back or punish you. He's going to be so grateful you're calling Him now. That's, He's waiting, He's waiting. So that one moment, I saw it in this young man, I saw it. He went from the 49th level of tuma, he went from his life being filled with filth and chaos and corruption and he was lost, but in one moment, because he appeared before a human judge, it helped him realize, I need the ultimate judge, I still need the ultimate judge, I need my Father. In that moment of clarity, he had a moment of clarity, so you can go from ויאמינו בה' ובמשה עבדו to believe in Hashem, I need you Hashem in that moment to Az yashir Moshe. To merit divine inspiration, divine connection. It takes a moment, it takes a moment. Too many Jews who we love, they feel lost and broken because they're filled with filth. They're on that lowest level of tuma and they say, what's the point? If I was up half the night scrolling through or watching things I shouldn't be watching, why bother going to shacharit in the morning? why bother putting tefillin on in the morning? Why bother? Why bother? But it's the opposite. All it takes is a moment, a moment, a moment of clarity, a moment of conviction, a moment of faith, a moment of yearning, a moment of spiritual ambition and desire. And in that you can go from vayamnu to az yashir. You can have the most authentic and the highest and the most beautiful, the prayer that Hashem is waiting for the longest, the one that's going to lift us all and save us all. So we need to know that, the broken part of ourselves, the lowest part of ourselves, the part of ourselves which is the most disappointing, to know that doesn't have to define us. We're not defined by our lowest moments or our worst moments, we're not there permanently and it shouldn't hold us back from becoming who we're meant to be. It's never too late to become who you're meant to be and who you could be. And all it needs is that moment of clarity. We could take that moment vayamnu and turn the vayamnu into az yashir. וכן אתה מוצא שלא ירש אברהם אבינו עולם הזה ועולם הבא אלא בזכות אמונה שהאמין בה'. Avraham Avinu merited this world and the next, why? Because he had emes but he had emuna. He didn't just intellectually know there's a God, he put it into practice. שנאמר והאמין בה' ויחשבה לו צדקה. Pasuk in Bereishit says, Avraham believed in Hashem. וכן אתה מוצא שלא נגאלו ישראל ממצרים אלא בשכר אמונה. And Chazal continue, why did the Jewish people merit to get out of Egypt? Ay, they were in the lowest level... of filth of tumah, they were morally corrupt and lost, they were looking at, listening to, saying the most inappropriate things, so in what merit were they redeemed, did they get out? Because they had a little emuna. It's not a contradiction. Don't say if I'm distracted and tempted and I'm indulging these bad things, what's the point of having emuna? He doesn't want me, Hashem doesn't love me. No, it's despite the temptation, despite the impulse, despite the indulgence, still having emuna, that's the way out. That's the rope to pull us out, that's the rope to climb up and get out. Don't give up on yourself because you struggle, understand the way out from the struggle is the little moment of clarity, the moment of emuna. We were in Mitzrayim, we were pursuing and indulging the worst behavior, and yet we earned, we merited, he took us out because we had that moment of emuna. Shene'emar vaya'amin ha'am. וכן הוא אומר אמונה נוצר ה'. ובבעלי אמונה מה הוא אומר פתחו שערים ויבא גוי צדיק שמר אמנים. השער הזה גוי בעלי אמונה נכנסים בו. וכן הוא אומר טוב להודות לה' ולזמר לשמך עליון להגיד בבקר חסדך ואמונתך בלילות. מי גרם לנו לבוא לידי שמחה זו שכר אמונה שהאמינו אבותינו בעולם הזה שכולו לילה לכן נאמר להגיד בבקר חסדך ואמונתך בלילות. So the Chazal go on and on and on and find that word emuna all throughout our Torah, and each time the word emuna's not associated when we were at our highest level, when we were acting our best, when we were most impressive. Where do you see the word emuna each of those times? Where we're struggling, where we're battling, where we're given in, where we're losing ground. And how do we climb out? What is the life preserver, what is the rope? A moment of emuna. That moment of clarity. Build on it, embrace it, lean into it. It's the way out. וכן אתה מוצא שאין הגליות מתכנסות אלא בשכר אמונה שנאמר אתי מלבנון כלה אתי מלבנון תבוא תשורי מראש אמונה. Shir Hashirim. וארשתיך לי לעולם וארשתיך לי באמונה. How are we married to Hashem? Ve'erastich li erastich eirusin. We put on our tefillin, we wind our finger, we say ve'erastich li. What is this bond, this marriage, this love with Hashem? Be'emuna. גדולה אמונה לפני הקדוש ברוך הוא שבשכר אמונה שרתה עלינו רוח הקודש ואמרו שירה וכן הוא אומר ויאמינו בדבריו ישירו תהלתו. So emuna. So the Maharal comments on this Midrash. So the Midrash says when we're at our lowest, when we're struggling, when we're battling, when we're filled with faith, when we're giving into moral chaos, the way out, the rope, the life preserver, the exit strategy is emuna. A moment of clarity, a moment. You cannot overstate how significant and how important and how productive that moment of clarity of emuna is. Don't say what's the point of emuna, it's not real because look at how I just behaved. Say emuna despite how I just behaved, but I know better and I could be better and I want better, and I want this relationship. It's like this young man who was facing his choices and his behavior were coming to a head because he was appearing before a judge, and because of that he had this moment of clarity. I want to talk to Hashem, I believe in him, I know he's the only one who could get me out. But what do I do? Look at how I behaved, does he even really want to hear from me? And we have to know that the answer is yes. It's not that he's willing to hear from me in that moment, he is desperate to hear from me in that moment. As a parent, if you could help your child, but you understand that you're at the point that you can't help them unless they want the help, are you not sitting and waiting and longing and welcoming? Will you not give the biggest hug in the world, will you not throw a party when they come, because you've just been waiting? Come, I can help, I want to help, I'm here for you. Come, come, the door is always open. Come, I've been sitting and waiting. Hashem is waiting, that moment of clarity. No matter how we got there, no matter which mistakes we made, no matter what wrong turns we took, but if we have that breakthrough, that moment, he's waiting. Says the Maharal: המדרש רצה לבאר ענין אמונה כמה גדולה אמונה לפני הקדוש ברוך הוא כי המאמין בו יתברך דבק בו מגיע זה עד קץ ואין סוף. The Midrash is telling us the greatness of emuna in front of Hashem. It's through emuna we cling to him, we connect to him, and we can go to the ends of the world. We could ride emuna to the ends of the world. כמו שנתבאר למעלה בענין אמין ולכך ראוי בו כל המדה שראוי שיירש עולם הזה ועולם הבא כי כבר אמרנו מצד אמונה מתעלה למעלה ובזה יורש עולם הזה ועולם הבא. You know, you see the opposite. There are people they go through all the motions of mitzvos, but they haven't had one moment of clarity of emuna. So they're living what I call the checklist Yiddishkeit. Davened check, Daf Yomi check, tzedakah check, shofar check, sukkah check, expensive matzah check, check, check, check, check, check. But they've never once had a conversation with Hashem. They've never once heard Hashem having a conversation with them. They're not living that emuna filter, those glasses, they don't live their life, they feel stuck and stranded, they don't have emuna. So I don't want to say God forbid the opposite, but you see the person who does nothing right but they have emunah, what the merit of that does. What if you do everything right but don't have the emunah? It's still beautiful and you get a lot of credit and it's wonderful to do all the right things on the checklist. But, you know, if you're married and you're like, but I took out the garbage and I bought you the flowers for the anniversary and I helped clear the table. Yeah, but we have no love and romance and connection and confiding and intimacy. So it's nice that you have a checklist of things that, you know, you downloaded from the internet and you could put a check next to each of the things that a spouse is supposed to do, but you don't talk to me and you don't listen to me talking to you, and you don't care about my needs and my wants and you don't speak my love language, then what's the point of all the checklist? Get a roommate. Marriage is not a roommate. A roommate has a checklist. Whose turn to shop, whose turn to do the dishes, whose turn to take out the garbage? That's a checklist, that's a roommate. A marriage is more than a roommate. So with Hashem he doesn't want a roommate, he doesn't need a roommate. He wants love, he wants marriage, he wants intimacy, he wants confidence, he wants connection, he wants closeness. And emunah is the way there, emunah is the path there, emunah is the evidence that we're there. It's dvukim legamrei is to be connected. Al yedei emunah last paragraph and we complete this learning, figure out what we're doing next. על ידי אמונה אנחנו מעבירין את עצמנו לרשותו יתברך וסומכין עליו. Through emunah we submit to him and we rest on him and we rely on him and we surrender to him. זאת המציאות של אמונה לכרות ברית האמת. The metzius, the reality of emunah is we make a contract, a contract and a covenant with emes through emunah. Lehischahtein im ha'emes. We get married to the emes by putting in practice with emunah. לעשות עצמנו לבית של אמת. We become a vehicle. I don't know if you remember how we began this several months ago, but he spoke about what does it mean to build a bayis ne'eman beyisrael. What does it mean that Moshe was ne'eman? To ne'eman means you're reliable, you're dependable, you're true, but it means you're putting into practice amen. It's not emes, it's emunah, it's amen, it's ne'eman. Are you reliable to put into practice what you say you know to be true? Does it go from your head to your heart, out your fingertips? ובזה אדם יוצא מגבול מציאותו הקטנה and this is how a Jew goes from being the boundaries of being small shehi mugbeles vetzara which is narrow ומצטרף לכל מעלה עליונה. The way that we climb out of this narrow smallness to greatness is to go from emes to emunah. עד שיכול לשרות הגילוי האמת. That we ourselves become vehicles and instruments of the revelation of God in this world. That the way we live our life and the calmness and the serenity and the confidence and the clarity that he's here, it's all from him, and the navigation tools to get where we're meant to go, we become that vehicle, that instrument to reveal his hand. That we don't just have that emes, that theory somewhere, but we're practically living it in emunah. So we should be zocha yehi ratzon please God all of us should know the truth, but as or more importantly live the truth and be examples of that truth and through that emes and the living with emunah find and feel Hashem in our lives in a way that lifts us and in a way that empowers us, in a way that enriches us, in a way that please God he answers all of our tefillos for good. Next week our shiur is on Monday, same time but it's on Monday. I baruch I don't want to say I'm sorry, baruch Hashem I'm traveling I think six weeks in a row for simchas, all good things. So I think our shiur is on Monday next week, stay tuned in the WhatsApp group. Please remain to complete all of Sefer Tehillim. May we hear besoros tovos.
