Transcript
Good morning Boker Tov, Im Yirtzeh Hashem it should be a בוקר טוב ובשורות טובות today should be K'dai for Klal Yisrael, the hostages should be brought home, our soldiers should return to their families, we should hear about a sweeping victory for Klal Yisrael. I want to thank our generous Emuna series sponsors, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Doctor Ellen Schanzar. A couple of announcements: we have a new shipment of our Caffeinate with Kavana cups, they've come in. I gotta tell you, I start my day every day very early in the morning, Baruch Hashem we have a beautiful Kollel Boker with my cup of coffee and it changes and transforms my Bracha. When you look at the cup, Shehakol Nihya Bidvaro, Caffeinate with Kavana, it reminds you. It's a little reminder built in. And those sleeves of cups are now available. You could email me or stop by me, you could get them locally, we'll give them to you or we'll send them to you, but they are disposable Caffeinate with Kavana cups. Shehakol Nihya Bidvaro, it's a great way to start the day and to remember to make a Bracha. We're not making any money off of it. It's a service to elevate all of our Emuna, all of our mindfulness, all of our consciousness, so that when we take in that Kavana, it doesn't just wake us, take in that caffeine, it doesn't just wake us up physically, but the Bracha wakes us up spiritually. Some people can't start their day till they take their sip, first sip of coffee. Don't talk to them till they have their first sip of coffee, you don't want to go near them. It could cost you a life, it's Pikuach Nefesh. Don't talk to someone, some people, till they have their first sip of coffee. Why? Because the coffee turns them into a human being. They're a zombie, they're a zombie and a beast and an animal, and then you have a first sip of coffee you can become a human being. So the coffee wakes us up physically, the Kavana wakes us up spiritually. Combine them by caffeinating with Kavana, you could order it, we'll be happy to send it to you. We're not making money off of it. Raise your hand if you are a BRS member. Okay, if you did not raise your hand right now, you're not a BRS member. Wow. That means you're still welcome and we love you and we want you to come and we're so glad and we're so grateful that you participate in our Shiurim and our classes and our programs and our panels and our advocacy efforts and all that we do. We're so happy, we're so glad and we're grateful for whatever support you give to enable us to continue to do it. So we run an annual campaign called the BRS Global Campaign. Those who are listening, the numbers of people listening to Living With Emuna are staggering. They're shocking, they're humbling, they're mind-blowing, they're mind-boggling. I trace it all back to the emails. I think people appreciate the emails that we get and I trace it back to people's need to connect, to feel connected, to look to live with Emuna. And I'm so humbled and honored by it, but we need people's help to continue to reach more people. So you could right now take out your phone, you could do it later, make a note to yourself to please contribute to the BRS Global Campaign: brsonline.org/global, brsonline.org/global. And a little extra incentive for you and then we're going to start learning. The little extra incentive for you is the following. If you're listening from elsewhere for sure, but even locally, for $180 to the Global Campaign, this is the biggest bargain ever, you enter a raffle to get two domestic flights to Boca to spend Shabbos with us in our community on the Shabbos Ishay Ribo will be here and two VIP tickets to the Ishay Ribo concert at BRS on April 7th. So for $180 you get a raffle ticket, $360 you get three tickets, $500 you get five tickets and so on and so forth. So you should do it because it's the right thing to do, Hakaras Hatov. If you pay when you go to the movie or theater or you go out for dinner, you pay for the subscription service of whatever you're watching on your phone or your device. So hopefully Living With Emuna does at least that for you. It's the appropriate thing to do. And so I don't have to grovel like this, it's embarrassing and humiliating, but it's what we have to do. So brsonline.org/global, please do your part. $180 gets you entered into a raffle and then we get to spend the Shabbos with us in person. If you're local, fly your grandchildren down, fly whoever you want down for a Shabbos here in person and the Ishay Ribo concert April 7th VIP backstage, going to be incredible. Let's start with an Emuna email and then I want to share with you an Emuna voice note and that's why I didn't give out a text because I want to just talk about this voice note that I haven't stopped thinking about since I got it. First an email. An email. Hi Rabbi Goldberg, I want to start by thanking you for your weekly Shiurim. It helps elevate my Shabbos cooking when I listen on Thursday mornings, it's really inspired me during the last few challenging months as my small Yishuv has been deeply impacted by the war. I always think about sending an email, but I wouldn't know where to start. I've been through so many incredible experiences in my life and I'm still only in my 30s. Through everything I focused on seeing the Yad Hashem because there's no greater comfort than knowing Hashem is by your side through the ups and downs of life. The following story is not eye-popping in any way, but noticing Hashem's guidance in the small things is the practice we need to face the big things. Right, there's so many things in this email already. This young person, first of all they live in a Yishuv that's navigating and going through this horrific time, these horrible many months, and our heart goes out and our Tfillos and our prayers and our love and our support. But the notion that if we see Hashem in the small things, then we're exercising and building that Emuna muscle so that if it's ever tested with a big thing we're ready to go. If we wait for a big thing, and there are big things in life, we're still davening יעל שושנה חיה בת חנה פרידל, we're davening so hard, a six-year-old girl in our community who's been on a respirator now for over two weeks and we're desperately davening, we're storming the heavens and it takes enormous, enormous emuna and if a person doesn't see Hashem in the small things through life and we're not building that muscle and wearing those glasses and training and conditioning ourselves to see and to feel and to lean on Hashem then, then it's hard to later, it's hard to later. We learned together several months ago Rav Druck's insight, אין לנו על מי להישען אלא על אבינו שבשמיים, אנחנו מאמינים בני מאמינים. I'm sure Ishay Ribo was going to sing that on April 7th at his concert that you could go to for free with two tickets if you give 180 dollars to the BRS Global campaign. I'm going to have to do it till we hit our budget. If we hit our budget during this emuna shiur, you won't have to hear me ever do it again until next year. brsonline.org/global. So, אנחנו מאמינים בני מאמינים, we are people of faith, the children of people of faith, אין לנו על מי להישען, we have nobody to lean on, ela avinu shebashamayim. The only one we have to lean on is Hashem. So Rav Druck said, you know, if you're in the middle of the room and you want to lean and the wall's not near you, what's going to happen? You fall flat on your face. When you're not near what you need to lean on and you try to lean, you fall flat on your face. If you need to lean on something, you better be near it. So אין לנו אלא להישען אלא אבינו שבשמיים, the only one we have to lean on is Hashem, first you have to draw near him. If you're not near him and you try to lean on him, you're going to fall down. So you have to come close to him so that we can lean on him. So all the little ways that we see Hashem in all those micro moments of emuna, micro moments of emuna, not microaggressions, micro moments of emuna, in all the micro emuna, then when there's a macro, major emuna moment, we'll be ready. Back to the email. I'm on a WhatsApp chat that posts the name and face of a different hostage each day. They include a small blurb about them so we get to know who they are as people and not just a name, as well as a link to say Tehillim, which is a beautiful idea. Instead of some name, generic name, it's a name, I don't know anything about this name. There's a small blurb, so who that person is, this is where they live, this is where they grew up, this is where they went to school. Now you're really davening. On Motzei Shabbos the admin posted they were looking to get women together to be mafrish challah and each lady would be given the name of a different hostage to have in mind. It was Motzei Shabbos, exclamation point. Who was thinking about making challah? And so it promptly got out and put out of my mind. Fast forward to Tuesday night and I was making challah to freeze for Shabbos. I had my Aneini in my hand to say the bracha when I got a message on that group that they had 40 women and were looking for more. I immediately sent a message asking for a name and told the admin what had happened. What hashgacha. She sent me the name of a hostage, Matan ben Yardena. Every Leil Shabbos at Kiddush we say the name of a hostage to have in mind as they don't have the opportunity to say Kiddush right now. This past Leil Shabbos the hostage we davened for was Matan ben Yardena. So again, a micro moment of emuna that when she said I'm happy to add, I'm taking challah right now give me a name, was given the same name that happened to have gotten the Friday night before when saying Kiddush. There's so much beautiful things to get from this email. What a beautiful idea before you make Kiddush to say that there are hostages who can't make Kiddush, let's say their name before we make Kiddush, and to be mafrish challah and to say the name and to have a blurb not just to say a name to know a little something about the person for whom we're davening. But again, it's a micro moment of emuna. May Matan ben Yardena and all the other hostages be returned back to their families and may we be zocheh to continue to see yad Hashem in our lives and in the coming of Mashiach, this individual writes. A beautiful, beautiful email and a beautiful message and lesson again for us: if we see Hashem in the micro moments, then chas v'shalom when there is a large moment when we need the emuna, we've already trained our brain. That little thing, oh we got the parking spot, oh the timing of the thing worked out, oh that came together just the way we wanted. We see Hashem all day everywhere, then when we need to see Hashem in a difficult moment when it's hard to find him and see him, we'll be ready to be able to see him. What do I want to talk to you about today? What do I want to talk to you about today? I'm tempted to play the voice note but I don't have permission, so I won't. But a brother of a soldier who was killed left me a voice note. And he said, he said, Rabbi, I was listening to the shiur last week, he listens to Living with Emuna which I'm blown away and humbled by. It's an honor and a privilege to give the shiur, but it's just easy for me, it's words. But the amount of people who've lost loved ones on October 7th and since then who are connected to our learning community is mind-boggling. And they're not learning about emuna, they're really living with emuna. These people are unbelievable and extraordinary, I don't want to start to list names I'll leave them out, Jen Airley who we had here a few weeks ago if you haven't yet watched that conversation, it's a living breathing example of living with emuna of everything that we're learning, it's mind-boggling. So a brother of a soldier who was killed in battle, a young man himself, he leaves me a voice note and he says, I listened to the shiur last week. week and he said all my life I've tried to be modeh, be grateful for all the things that Hashem does, even the ones that don't go well and I don't appreciate; a hard day, a test that I didn't do well on, my team not winning the game, I understand that everything comes from Hashem, not only the good but all comes from Hashem. Last week we spoke a little bit about כל מן דעבד רחמנא לטב עביד, everything Hashem does is for our best, not only the good but even that which we perceive or experience as not good, it all can and does trace from Hashem and we acknowledge and we see it. So he said in modim, modim anachnu lach, she-anachnu modim lach, אשר אנחנו מודים לך. It's been pointed out one of the things that we're grateful for in modim, על שאנחנו מודים לך, we're grateful that we're grateful. There's so many people who aren't grateful and live a life in the darkness, to live a life self-centered, to live a life disconnected; ungrateful people are unhappy people. There's an enormously high correlation between gratitude and happiness and joy and satisfaction. Gratitude, it's very hard for arrogant people to be grateful because gratitude is an exercise in humility. Gratitude comes from the humility to say, I needed you, I relied on you, I depended on you, and I'm grateful to you. It's a famous Rav Hutner, we've shared it many times before. Rav Hutner says it's the same Hebrew word, same root word, hoda'ah, modeh. modeh means I'm grateful, modeh ani. Some say even women should say modeh ani, even though grammatically it's more correct to say modah ani; others say no, a woman should grammatically follow what's more grammatically correct and say modah ani. Ask your mother what she did and follow your family tradition, modah ani, modeh ani, but the word modeh means, why do we say modeh ani not ani modeh? ani modeh is more grammatically correct because the first word out of our mouth in the day cannot be I. It can't be ani modeh, I am grateful, because even though grammatically it's more correct to say ani modeh, I am grateful, the first word out of our mouth can't be I. That can't be the first word out of our mouth. What's the first word out of our mouth? modeh. We wake up and we say grateful, grateful am I, she-hechzarta bi nishmati, that you've returned, wow, I opened my eyes. Okay, the day's off to a good start. Before I had my caffeinate with kavana, before I had my first sip of coffee, I can be a human being. We lie in bed and even before we wash our hands, doesn't include Hashem's name, modeh ani. Even before we wash our hands we open our eyes, ooh wah, I'm alive. Wow. That's not a given. That is not a given at all. I'm alive. Oh, my fingers work. Oh, my eyes work. Oh, I hear the guy snoring, my ears work. modeh ani. We're alive, my faculties are working, there's a roof over my head, modeh ani. Grateful am I. Not ani modeh, you can't start the day with the word I, we start it with the word modeh, grateful am I. It doesn't have Hashem's name in modeh ani, the simple reason is because we say it first thing when we wake up in the morning, even before we wash negel vasser, before we wash our hands, before we cleansed our hands, we already say. Rav Avraham Schorr shlita was here earlier this year, he offered another reason. He spoke at the Yeshiva, so you didn't hear this, but he said this other reason. You know why it doesn't have Hashem's name? Because who says you only say it once a day? If it has Hashem's name you can't say Hashem's name unless you're obligated. You can't just make a shehakol when there's no cup of coffee in front of you. You have to say the bracha on something, you can't say Hashem's name unless there's a precipitator to say it. But modeh ani doesn't have Hashem's name, you know why? Because you could be driving down the street and say, wow, it's a blue sky, it's a beautiful day, my family's healthy, my life is blessed. You know, I'm moved at two o'clock in the afternoon to say מודה אני לפניך מלך חי וקיים שהחזרת בי נשמתי בחמלה רבה אמונתך. It doesn't have Hashem's name, suggests Rav Schorr, so that you could say it as many times as you want to and are moved to throughout the day. Each time something happens for which you feel overwhelmed and filled with gratitude, break out a modeh ani. Who says it's only first thing in the morning? It doesn't have Hashem's name so you could say it as many times as you want. So the word modeh means grateful. Grateful am I. It's the first word on our lips. But it can't just be lip service. You can't just mumble jumble modeh ani while you're yelling at, get up, we gotta go to school, you're late, you slept in, I can't believe you snored so loud, I didn't sleep at all last night. It has to actually sink in. modeh ani. Grateful am I. I'm grateful. Begin the day with an attitude of gratitude. It'll transform the entire day. Don't wake up miserable and fabissene and the person next to you is already in trouble before he even opened his eyes, you're angry at him, something he doesn't even know he did. modeh ani. Wake up. modeh ani. Grateful am I. Gratitude. modeh means grateful. What else does modeh mean? Admit. Modeh means admit, admission. If you say Goldberg you owe me a hundred bucks, I say ani modeh, I admit, I admit I owe you the hundred bucks. One fregt pashut and why do we have the same word to mean admit and admission and gratitude? We have a lot of words we can use, we don't have duplication synonyms in Hebrew, there always is a subtle difference if we're using the same word, it means that there is a similar overlapping meaning. So what do admission and gratitude have to do with one another? Says Rav Hutner, again we've shared this many times before, every time we take a moment to express gratitude we're making an admission. Thank you. Thank you. I admit that I was enhanced, I was enriched, I needed, I depended, I relied on you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm admitting, which is why the arrogant person who wants to feel independent, I don't need anyone I don't need anything I'm on my own I take care of myself, they can't say thank you. They struggle to say thank you. It's like pulling a kidney out of them to say thank you. Why? Because I don't want to admit. I'm going to admit you did something for me? I'm going to admit you helped me, you enriched me, you supported me? I don't want to admit anything. So it's an expression and it's an exercise of humility to say thank you. So thankful people are humble people, humble people are happy people, and ungrateful people are arrogant people, self-centered people, and they're miserable people. So the capacity to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you for dinner, I don't take that for granted. Thank you for the shopping and the cooking and the time. So it's your job. We have to teach our children. Say thank you. Say thank you for the lit... thank you to the housekeeper. Thank you to the garbage person. Thank you to the custodian. Thank you to, thank you whoever earned the money that paid for the food that we just had for dinner. Thank you. Thank you. We'll become more humble we'll become more happy, so thankful. Back to the voice note. So the young man says, I listened to the shiur and in my whole life in modim in shemoneh esrei in the amidah when I daven, in modim I pause and I say thank you Hashem. Not only for the good things. Not only when I do well on the test and my team wins and when socially things are going well and when everything's good, but I've always been able to say thank you even when the things didn't go as well. He leaves me a voice note and he says but Rabbi I can't say thank you to Hashem that my brother was killed. I'm having trouble saying thank you in modim for the loss of my brother. Loss of his brother. I'm having trouble saying thank you. Tell me what I should do. That was his voice note. That was his question. So I'll tell you before we even talk about the subject, wow, mi keamcha Yisrael that we have young men, I don't know, if it were me, I'm not sure I'd still be keeping Shabbos. I'm not sure I'd still be davening, getting up to modim at all. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. My brother, my young brother in the prime of his life, strong and brave and courageous and giving and kind, and his brother was a very, very special person, is killed battling fighting defending the Jewish people by evil wicked Hamas murderous terrorists. I don't know where my faith would be. And his question is not how can I have faith, his question is I'm having trouble when I get to modim saying thank you for this. Mi keamcha Yisrael what a people we're part of that we have among us young men like this, people like this, people who leave voice notes like this. And he's trying to find an answer. He went to the trouble of getting my contact information, of leaving me a voice note, of asking a question, and it was sincere. He didn't leave a voice note cursing out God and cancel the emunah shiur and there is no God how could he do this and enough of that explain it to me how could God do this where is he why wasn't he. He didn't say any of that. That was not his answer. He said I'm having trouble saying thank you. He says I'm having trouble saying thank you. How do we say thank you? How do we say thank you? I'm having trouble saying thank you. So I want to address that question. I want to address that question. And there was another email I was supposed to read this week, which I'm going to read next week. It's also a lot like this. I want to address his question. Is there an expectation that one is supposed to say thank you when their brother is killed in a war? Is the premise of the question correct? The premise of the question is we have to say thank you to Hashem for everything, even a tragedy that we suffer. If one really has faith, if one really has faith, if one really is grateful, if one really is appreciative, if one really is practicing dveikus, if one really is attaching and connecting and clinging to God, they'd be able to say thank you even in a tragic moment. Is the assumption the premise of the question correct? So the Mishna in Brachos daf nun daled tells us חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה. A person is obligated to make a bracha on the raa translate the word raa evil כשם שמברך על הטובה. I don't know if the word ra'ah translates as bad, maybe it translates as painful. Painful. The same, k'shem, the same way one makes a bracha al hatovah. Shene'emar, quotes a pasuk, ואהבת את ה' אלהיך בכל לבבך. We just said this morning, we'll say tonight, twice a day, Shma and V'ahavta, love Hashem b'chol l'vavcha with all of your heart. That's not what it says. Translate the word b'chol l'vavcha: all of your hearts, in plural. One heart is b'chol livbecha. Livcha, livbecha, one heart. That's not what it says. It says b'chol l'vavcha, with both of your hearts. How many hearts do you have? One. Says the Mishna, בכל לבבך בשני יצריך ביצר הטוב וביצר הרע. You have two hearts. Physically you have one heart with four chambers, spiritually we have two hearts. We have the heart that guides us and directs us and encourages us to the good, to think well, to think good, to see positively. And then we have the yeitzer hara. The yeitzer hara that entices us and seduces us and misdirects us. ובכל נפשך אפילו הוא נוטל את נפשך. And u'v'chol nafshecha means a person has to be willing to give up their life. ובכל מאדך בכל ממונך. Person has to be willing to give to the global campaign. B'chol mamoncha, it means b'chol m'odecha. You know what, you know what b'chol m'odecha means? What's m'od? A lot. B'chol mamoncha, whatever you value a lot, you have to give it to Hashem. So whatever you love, and whatever you hold on to, and whatever you cherish, and whatever you value, b'chol, whatever is m'od for you, b'chol m'odecha. The m'odecha, the m'od for you. Direct it and channel it to Hashem, which for many people is b'chol mamoncha, with your resources, with your money. People have a hard time parting with money. Some would rather give you the kidney than their money. They won't give you their money. It's the, they don't know the joy that so many in this room know, that when you support and give and enable, again this is not a pitch for the global, I'm saying for all of us and give somewhere else, I'll make this pitch you're giving to Israel, to a cause in Israel, which still continues to need our efforts, there are few things more pleasurable in the world. As if we didn't know it to be true from Torah, research now also supports, you know they drop people at the mall and they give them twenty dollars and some they say go buy something for yourself and others they say go buy something for someone else, and they measure the happiness before and they measure the happiness afterwards, and who's happier? The one who spent the twenty dollars on themselves or the one who spent the twenty dollars for someone else? The one who spent on someone else. The happiness, the happiness comes from giving, from caring, because the tighter you hold on to something, the less you really have it. And the more you give it away, now no one could take that away from you. No one could take that away from you. That's what we spoke about last week's parsha, Terumah, after Mishpatim. In Mishpatim Hashem says Na'aseh v'nishma, the Jewish people say Na'aseh v'nishma, we will do and we will listen, we're in. Whatever you ask us to do we're good, we're in, absolutely no problem, just tell us Na'aseh, we're in just tell us. Hashem says okay, how does Terumah begin? v'yikchu li terumah. Take out your wallet. Take out your checkbook. Wow, we're not exactly in, we didn't exactly mean Na'aseh v'nishma. Hashem says I'll test you Na'aseh v'nishma. You really believe, you really value, you really support, you really invested, really? Okay, v'yikchu li terumah. Let's see. Let's see if you really care. We spoke more about this in the parsha shiur two weeks ago. Ironically, כי לא במותו יקח הכל, you can't take it all with you, but you can take some things with you. What can you take with you? There's no pocket in the tachrichim, there's no pocket in the kittel, there's no U-Haul behind the hearse. I've been to a lot of funerals the last couple weeks. They never put anything inside the grave. There's no gold, there's no silver, there's no watches, there's no jewelry, there's no portfolio, there's no real estate holdings. You can't take anything with you. כי לא במותו יקח. So why does it say hakol that you can't take everything? It should say you can't take anything. Why does it say you can't take everything? The Malbim says because there are things you can take with you. What can you take with you? Ironically, anything you hold on to you can't take with you. But what you gave away is what you take with you. It's paradoxical. What you gave away you could take with you. What you hold on to you can't take with you. Too many don't understand, don't know, don't experience the joy, the pleasure, it's the greatest geshmak in the world when you help and you enable and you support and you enrich and you empower. That feels so good and it's so tragically sad some don't know that feeling. So that's what the pasuk says. ואהבת את ה' אלהיך, love Hashem, b'chol l'vavcha with both of your hearts. Not only the yeitzer hatov, it's easy to love Hashem with the yeitzer hatov because the yeitzer hatov is telling you love Hashem. What about the yeitzer hara... The soldiers, the soldier we're talking about, when they cross that line, go into Gaza and they take that deep breath. On Behind the Bima, we interviewed one of those soldiers who talked about when you go into Gaza on your way in, they look at your dog tags, you're wearing something else that they check, make sure it matches. It's a real moment of truth, a real gut check. He described your whole life flashes before your eyes when you realize this isn't fun and games, this isn't a video game. You may not be coming home and the people you just hugged and said goodbye to you may never see again. That's be-chol nafshecha. Are you ready? אפילו הוא נוטל את נפשך. And therefore the admiration and the appreciation and the awe, not just right now, this war will end but these soldiers will carry the scars of this battle forever and we, in a year and five and 10 and 20, need to remember these heroes and what they're doing every time they're crossing into Gaza. Be-chol nafshecha, u-ve-chol me'odecha, be-chol mamoncha or an alternative interpretation be-chol me'odecha, בכל מדה ומדה שהוא מודד לך הוי מודה לו. However and whatever He's doing to interact with us, we reciprocate to Him. Be-chol me'odecha, however He's modeh to us, we modeh lo, we connect, we reciprocate. So the mishna says keshem, the same way that you're mevarech, חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שהוא מברך על הטובה. So that's why this young man is leaving me this voice note and he's saying, "You know, if I got a knock on my door, Ed McMahon"—I don't know if any of you know what I'm talking about still—and he says, "Good news, Goldberg, you don't have to fundraise anymore for the capital project or for the global campaign, I'm here to tell you you've won"—what did they win? The sweepstakes, something... something Publishers Clearing House—"You won the lottery! Good news, good news." It's possible that every few weeks I buy a Powerball ticket because I'm sick of all the fundraising. So let's say I won the lottery. I'd make a beracha: ברוך אתה ה' אלקינו מלך העולם הטוב והמטיב. Wow, Hashem, won the lottery, it's unbelievable, ha-tov ve-hameitiv. Do you know you make that beracha at the birth of a child? Shehecheyanu, ha-tov ve-hameitiv, there's a birth of a child, I won the lottery. A healthy baby was born. A healthy baby is born, that is not less than winning the lottery. You know who knows that? When a healthy baby is not conceived, when a healthy baby's not born. That's who knows that. Sadly, too many expected it, they know it's coming, you know, now they get all caught up in fighting over what the name should be and who should cater the bris or who's going to host the whatever, when can I get rid of the baby weight and whatever the differences, whose parents are coming to help and whatever. Take a pause and realize, if you have a healthy baby, that is not less than winning the Powerball. When the doctor holds that baby and says it's a healthy baby X, that is better than Ed McMahon knocking on your door saying you won the lottery. It's a tragedy that we don't know and appreciate that. It's huge. So you win the lottery, you make a beracha, ha-tov ve-hameitiv. And chalila, there's a knock on the door and it's the IDF spokesperson who's come to tell you the bad news, so the mishna says chayav levarech, you make a beracha. And what beracha do we make? ברוך אתה ה' אלקינו מלך העולם with shem u-malchut, we use Hashem's name, Dayan Ha-emet. By the way, the Shulchan Aruch records based on the Gemara, sometimes both berachot can happen simultaneously. The Gemara records if a person learns that their parent passed away, which means simultaneously they just inherited a fortune, they make the beracha of ha-tov ve-hameitiv on the fortune and they make the beracha Dayan Ha-emet on the loss of their parent and there's room in the heart to feel two emotions simultaneously. But keshem, the same intensity, the same fervor, the same mindfulness, the same passion, the same commitment, keshem. And that's why this young man says, "How? How can I make a beracha? How in Modim can I thank Hashem?" So here's my answer, totally unqualified to answer. Here's my answer to a young man who could even ask such a question, that mi ke-amcha Yisrael, we have such young men. I don't know if he's married or single. If he's single, I want to get his resume because whoever's going to be lucky enough to marry that he could even ask such a question, so if you're listening, Yehuda, and you're single, let me know because whoever will marry you will be lucky that you could even ask such a question. Such a relationship you have with Hashem that you want to work out how in Modim you could thank Him even for this. So the Meiri on the mishna, the Meiri of Menachem Meiri writes... כל מה שיגיעו מהם טוב ומהם מוטב ולהכיר שהכל בא לו מאת השם. The Meiri says the bracha that one makes is not because you feel grateful. The kesheim doesn't mean that you make a bracha just like it was good news when I won the lottery, it's good news when I was informed of the tragedy. No. The expectation is not that the reaction is that it's good news, that we see the ra as tov. That's not the expectation. Says the Meiri, kol ma sheyagiu, whatever arrives at your doorstep, whatever knocks on the door, להכיר שהכל בא לו מאת השם. The expectation is to realize that just like when I won the lottery, that wasn't random, it wasn't chance, it wasn't happenstance, it was orchestrated and organized from above, it was divine, it was Hashem's plan. So too whenever the tragedy occurs, not that you need to or should feel grateful for it, it's painful, it's unbearably painful. Feel sad and grief and experience the pain, but know it too is not random and it too is not chance and it too is not happenstance. It too is from Hashem. The kesheim is not that the emotion should be the same, says the Meiri, the kesheim is not the same emotion of gratitude. The kesheim is not see them both as good. The kesheim is see them both as coming from Hashem. So you'll say, but why make a bracha? Just because you know or see that it came from Hashem and that it's not random or chance, why does that mandate a bracha? So what's the root of the word bracha? Breicha. What is a breicha? A spring, a flow. Bracha doesn't mean gratitude. Every time we say the word Baruch, Baruch ata Hashem and we're supposed to say it a hundred times a day, we should say it a hundred times a day. You remember Max Spector from back in the Emuna shiur when he sent the cards with the paperclips to make a hundred brachos a day? A listener from New York who sent in those cards. Anyone? He was here this past Shabbos. Anyway. So a hundred times a day we're supposed to make a bracha. We should know what the word Baruch means. Baruch, breicha, a flow. That whatever that I'm making a bracha on, it flows from and it comes from Hashem. It didn't just appear out of nowhere, it's not random or chance, it all bracha, Baruch, breicha, it is a flow, it is all flowing from Hashem. So that's what it means chayav adam levarech. You have to see that it all flows from Hashem. Kesheim. The intensity is not to see it all as good, the intensity is not to be grateful for it all, the intensity, the kesheim, the bracha is that it's not random. Says the Meiri, that's the expectation. The Rambam understands it differently. The Rambam in his Peirush Hamishnayos, זה דבר מושכל אצל הנבונים אף על פי שלא יסרה עליו התורה לפי שהרבה דברים נחשבים לרע בתחילתם וסופם מביאים טובה גדולה. There are many things that think that they're bad at the beginning and then you realize why they're good. והרבה דברים נחשבים בראשיתם טוב וסופם רע. And some things seem amazing and fantastic at the beginning and they turn out to be disastrous and terrible. ולפיכך אין ראוי לנבון להצטער בבוא צרה גדולה. So when you live life and you know just how unpredictable it is, when you know just how little we see, perceive, or understand, when you know how much we don't comprehend, the things we thought were amazing turned out to be a disaster, the things we thought were a disaster turned out to be amazing. sheino yodea hatachlis, that we don't see with the perspective to really assign a value and appreciate is this good or is this bad? So now you can make the bracha kesheim. So the Rambam is saying because we have such a finite, limited perspective and vision, because we don't really know what's good or bad, because that which we thought was amazing turned out to be horrible, that which we thought was horrible turned out to be amazing, that's the kesheim that we can make the bracha with the same sort of surrendering that we don't really know. So when the girl dumped us and we couldn't get out of bed for a week and we thought our life was over and we thought this was the worst thing ever, it turns out it was the most amazing because you were meant to get together later in life but you had to go through something, or maybe because you weren't meant to be with her at all and Hashem spared you and saved you before you would have had a life of misery. And then sometimes you thought it was amazing with the girl and you made a huge bracha and you say this is incredible the person of my dreams, and six months later despite four billion reference calls, inquisitions, investigations, hiring private detectives, getting genetic lab reports, and nevertheless six months later you realize this is miserable and torture and it needs to end and it should be over. So we never really know. You thought the job was perfect, it turned out to be a disaster. You thought it was a disaster you didn't get the job, it turned out to be perfect, you got a better one. So the Rambam says just let it all go. Because it all comes from Hashem. That's hard. That's easier to do, still very hard, but easier to do when it comes to the job or even when it comes to the girl, the shidduch or when it- but not when it comes to a brother not coming home from war. One should never expect they'll ever see or understand or appreciate how that could be good. Where the good- where the good could be in that. So the Rambam though in his Mishneh Torah brings a different perspective. That was the Rambam in his Peirush Hamishnayot, he wrote it as a very young man. In his Mishneh Torah, in הלכות ברכות פרק י' הלכה ג' the Rambam says differently. שמע שמועה רעה מברך ברוך דיין האמת. If you hear bad news, you make dayan ha'emet. By the way, the beracha we make at a funeral, we make it when there's a loss of life. But by the way, you would equally just like if you won the lottery you'd make a beracha hatov vehamitiv, if a person found out they took their entire life savings and they bet on one thing and they lost all their money they'd make a beracha dayan ha'emet. Also when there's a terrible loss, there's a beracha for that too. וחייב אדם לברך על הרעה בטוב נפש כדרך שמברך על הטובה בשמחה. Listen to the words of the Rambam. חייב אדם לברך על הרעה a person has to make a beracha on the painful בטוב נפש כדרך שמברך על הטובה בשמחה. It doesn't say besimcha for the ra. The same way that you make a beracha on the good besimcha with joy is the same equanimity, hishtavus, calm, tranquility, knowledge it's from Hashem that you make a beracha al hara. Shene'emar ואהבת את ה' אלוהיך and he quotes the pasuk, bechol avicha יתר שנסתוינו בה אפילו בעת שיצר לידך וישבח בשמחה. So the Rambam, the Rambam here, the Rambam here is not saying that kasheim means the same way you make a beracha besimcha, same way someone knocks on the door you won the lottery, the same way they announce it's a healthy baby mazel tov, you make a beracha besimcha, whoa I'm so happy I have a skip in my step I'm still filled with such incredible joy, so now when you get a knock on the door and you hear terrible tragic news you have to make the beracha besimcha, the Rambam does not say that. What he says is the same way what we were saying, the same way you know the good news is not random or chance but comes from Hashem, take a moment and pause and acknowledge that, lean into that, the same way when there's bad news and you feel the opposite of simcha, grief, but also pause and say I know this too is from Hashem. It's not random, it's not chance, it's not happenstance, it's not meaningless, it has a meaning, I don't know what it is and it's also from Hashem. And that's how the Shulchan Aruch records. Shulchan Aruch records אורח חיים סימן רכ"ב הלכה ג' the Rambam. חייב אדם לברך על הרעה בדעת שלמה ובנפש חפצה. The Shulchan Aruch does not say you have to make a beracha for bad news besimcha. Shulchan Aruch records חייב אדם לברך על הרעה בדעת שלמה ובנפש חפצה כדרך שמברך בשמחה על הטובה. If God forbid one hears bad news, the demeanor, the manner in which they interpret it, in which they hear it, in which they experience it, the kasheim is with the same hishtavus equanimity, the same experience and knowledge and confidence that it's from Hashem. Beda'at sheleima. What does beda'at sheleima mean? It means one doesn't lose their mind, one doesn't lose their faith, one doesn't lose their fortitude. Beda'at sheleima to cry and to grieve and to mourn and to experience and even lean into the pain but all, all informed and inspired by the awareness that it's from Hashem. כדרך שמברך בשמחה על הטובה. The same way when you hear great news you don't stop and say well is this from Hashem not from Hashem I want to think I need to- should I be happy let me feel happiness, the instinct, the intuition, the instant response is besimcha, equal and opposite the instant response to the ra has to be a da'at sheleima. כי הרעה לעובדי ה' היא שמחתם וטובתם כיוון שמקבלם מאהבה מה שגזר עליו ה' נמצא שקבלת רעה זו היא עבודת ה' שהיא שמחה לו. And then the Shulchan Aruch adds another idea. And he says even, even the person who experiences the horrible bad, there is something good in it, not the loss and the bad, the good in it is the now opportunity they have to connect to Hashem that the other person doesn't have. You know, if you skip through life, listen to what the Shulchan Aruch is actually in essence saying. This is unbelievably powerful. If you have the opportunity, I don't know anyone who does, but if you do, you can skip through life, hunky dory all is well, nothing's wrong, no challenges, no problems, no aches, no pains, no worries, no anxieties, everything is great and lovely and amazing, then your relationship with Hashem... that should be incredibly high because you have so much to be grateful for, but it's going to be sort of lukewarm. Lukewarm. Because you don't really ever need to pour out your heart to Him because you're never in crisis, nothing's ever urgent, you never need Him in an emergency. So everything's just stable and amazing and good and you're grateful for it, but you're never tested in that relationship with Hashem. But the person who goes through a tragedy is living the rest of their life with a permanent test of their faith and connection and feeling and ongoing conversation with Hashem. And that is a gift in a way. It's not a gift they want. They'd rather be skipping through life, even if it means not feeling as close. But being put in the position where one needs to pour out their heart and one needs to lean into Hashem is a heightened experience with Hashem. And so the simcha that could come from the raa is the heightened experience and ongoing conversation and relationship with Hashem. It's an unbelievable insight of the Shulchan Aruch himself, of the of Rav Yosef Karo. Keshem, the bracha in the raa is not the raa. Don't tell me how someone's brother being killed at war, no you'll see the good and why it was good and it's good and it's good. No. The good is the rest of your life you're going to be having a conversation with Hashem, your test, your faith in Hashem is tested, your experience and the meaning of you still having faith in Hashem is at an altogether different level than the person who it was never tested, who will never know, who never had to lean in and experience it in that way, never had to experience it in that way. So that was the voice note I got this week and my answer is: don't feel you need to work on in modim thanking Hashem for the loss of your brother. I don't think He expects that. I don't think that that's what He wants, I'm not sure that would even be healthy. We don't say thank you, what we say is we know it came from You. Chaiv adam levarach, levarach, breicha, I know that this flows from You. I'm not thankful for it. I wish You did it differently. I want You to bring him back. I miss him. I'm not grateful, I'm not thankful, but I still know that it comes from You. And what I am thankful for is that the experience of losing him has made me feel closer to You, more connected to You, and given me a more heightened experience of an ongoing relationship with You. And that is something I can be grateful for, that is something I can be besimcha, that is something I can be besimcha over. So I'm grateful he took the time, I'm in awe, I'm in awe that something he was even struggling with, I'm in awe he was struggling with it, and I'm grateful he took the time to be in touch and that is what I would answer, I answered that in a 30-second voice note, now this is a 40-minute longer with a very circuitous ADD route, but if you come to the shiur you know that's the journey we're going on together, so that's what that's the way we do it. And I'll end just by telling you a story of כשם שמברך על הרעה. This is a story. The the Rebbe Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg went to his brother, the Maggid of Mezeritch, and he said how is it possible to fulfill this Gemara? This Gemara Berachos Nun Dalet, כשם חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה. How could it be? How could somebody who lives a life of challenge, of struggle, of loss, of pain, of sadness, how could they make the bracha the same way? So the holy Maggid, the Maggid of Mezeritch said, it's a good question, it's a tough question. Go to Annopol and go find the Rebbe Reb Zusha. The only one I know who can answer this question is the Rebbe Reb Zusha. So go make your way to his beis medrash, go make your way to Annopol and find the Rebbe Reb Zusha. So he went to the beis medrash of the Rebbe Reb Zusha and he first was interacting and first observing. And the Rebbe Reb Zusha lived in abject poverty. He had nothing. He had a roof that was half leaks, water came in. He lived in poverty, didn't have enough to eat, couldn't feed his children. The clothing was worn out and torn, falling apart. He had children that had illnesses and lost children. He had horrific difficult painful painful painful life. And he watched and he observed and he saw the simcha and the joy, the Rebbe Reb Zusha was happy, was besimcha, practiced hashtavus, this level of equanimity all the time. So after watching and interacting and spending a day with the Rebbe Reb Zusha, finally Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg got up the courage and he asked the Rebbe Reb Zusha, he said you know I went to the Maggid of Mezeritch and I had a question. The Gemara says חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטובה, a person is obligated to make a bracha to see it comes from Hashem. How, how could a person live that way? I don't understand. So somebody has gone through pain and grief and difficulty and challenge. How? How could they make a bracha as if it was good news? So Reb Zusha looked at him and he said, I don't know why he told you to come ask me. I've never had a difficult day in my life. I don't know why he thought I could answer your question. I've never had a struggle or a pain. Hashem has been only good to me. I've never had a challenge in my life. I don't know why he came and told you to ask me. So there are people like the Rebbe Reb Zusha, that level, that even the challenge, the grief, the pain is transformed to his living it with such a simcha that he doesn't even understand why someone would come to ask him that question. But know from the Shulchan Aruch and from the Meiri and ultimately the Rambam in the Mishneh Torah that the chayav adam l'varech and the k'shem are not to feel grateful. They're to realize that it comes from Hashem and that a person who is at challenge also has that opportunity. And every crisis is an opportunity. The crisis is a crisis of faith. But the opportunity is also an opportunity to take that faith to a new level, a higher level. We should never be challenged, we should never have to have that crisis. We should always be able to have that faith even without it. And grateful for the emails, I'm grateful for the voice note, and I'm grateful to all the non-BRS members who right now are taking out their phone, right now are taking out their phone, QR code or brsonline.org/global, minimally one hundred eighty dollars because why wouldn't you want to get in a raffle? Two tickets to Florida, two VIP tickets to Ishay Ribo BRS. Who wouldn't want to say thank you and enable us to spread the message even further and wider? Thank you, we should hear besoros tovos, should be a good day for Am Yisrael.
