Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov. Welcome back to Living with Emuna. Wonderful to see everyone. I want to thank our generous sponsors of our Emuna series, Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut, in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Schanz, whose yahrtzeit was the 10th of Adar. The shiur is also sponsored by Temi Pruss on the yahrtzeit of רחל לאה בת מרדכי צבי and Malka. נשמה שתהא לה עליה. And thank you so much for the generosity and sponsorship. We are in Tiferes Emuna, Rabbi Rabinowitz, page pey-beis, 82. Before we continue there, just to share with you, keep the emails coming. I love the emails that I get. Got a beautiful email from somebody about living with Emuna and how it helped so much. And they live in Israel, they needed a passport, it was difficult to get an appointment, and they got it in Sderot. And then the rockets were falling, you remember a few weeks ago, and they thought it'd be canceled, and it was canceled, and not knowing what was going to happen. Sunday afternoon, it all seemed quiet. A friend wrote on the yishuv list, she's looking for someone who can transport milk to a young mother in Netivot, 10 minutes from Sderot, who has twins but can't afford formula. That's when I realized Hashem's plan for me. I needed to make this appointment in Sderot so I could help someone else. Sure enough, Misrad HaPanim in Sderot opened up Tuesday morning. My daughter and I left early to bring the mother breast milk for the babies. Everything went according to plan. She's even scheduled to get her passport two weeks before her flight. Thank you for the weekly reminders. Even though it all worked out, it wasn't so clear it would happen, and I found myself extremely calm, very not like me, knowing that He had a plan for me. I didn't send this email right away, not sure if it's up there with others, but felt I would like to know how what the impact is, blah blah blah. So, yeah, living with Emuna. That's why we get together every week, because living with Emuna brings a calm and a peace and a tranquility and a serenity that you're going to figure it out. By the way, speaking of passport stories, nobody's curious whether my granddaughter got her passport and whether my kids got back to Israel? I was told to post it on the Emuna WhatsApp group, but I did not. Baruch Hashem, Friday afternoon at 4:35 in Manhattan, Miriam Liba got her passport and they left on Sunday back to Israel and they're in Israel doing well. So Baruch Hashem, it all works out and they were calm the whole time because Hashem has a plan. Life is an adventure and we find out what's in store next and what was the worst that would happen? You'd have to delay the return until you got a passport, a day, a week? She'd have to stay with her Zeide for a little bit more time? There's worse things in the world. There's worse things in the world. So when you live with Emuna, when we work out those Emuna muscles, when we have the Emuna muscle memory kick in, you never get frazzled, you never get frightened, you never worry, you never anxious because life is a big adventure and you're just waiting to find out what's in store, what's exciting on this next step. We spoke about it last Shabbos for those who were here. על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. When you view yourself as always being in Hashem's arms wherever you go, that was the drasha this past Shabbos, a beautiful insight of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz. How could the Jewish people be described as being in one place when they went many places? I'm simplifying his insight, it was very tactical, I'm simplifying his insight right now. But Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz said, you have a mother of a newborn baby. She's a businesswoman, she has to travel the world. She goes from Boca to Miami airport, from there flies to Brazil, South America, South Africa, Australia, all throughout Europe and ends up in Israel. And after two weeks, when you check her passport, what does it say? Three continents, 20 countries, she's traveled all over the world. And if you ask the baby, where have you been? The baby says, I was in one place. One place? The last two weeks, what do you mean? You went three continents, 20 countries. He says, I was in one place, I was in my mother's arms all along. Emotionally, his passport is only stamped with one spot. He was in his mother's arms. True, she was all over, but when he saw himself being carried safely, securely, lovingly, affectionately in his mother's arms, that's the only place that he was. And we too have that ability. על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. We don't know what twists and turns life's going to throw our way. We don't know how we're going to be redirected and rerouted, what detours will come. But if you know that you're in Hashem's arms, then you don't care because wherever the GPS tells you, reroutes you, detours you, but you're in Hashem's arms all along, so it's where you're meant to be, safely and securely, it's what's right, it's where we're meant to be, and we're going to get through it. We're going to get through it, there will be a tomorrow, there is no other choice. Sometimes, often, it's incredibly difficult or painful. The baby in the mother's arms, Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz doesn't write this part, but the baby in the mother's arms doesn't always appreciate where they are. If the baby in the mother's arms also has a big flight delay or the AC on the bus isn't working, the baby's also crying and miserable, but the baby knows is in its mother's arms. So it doesn't mean as we go through life we'll always be happy, we'll always be comfortable, but it means that we know that we're in our Father's arms and He carries us in His arms. We know that there's a reason, there's a purpose, there's meaning, and therefore our life should be guided and informed and inspired by al pi Hashem. על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. Wherever we go, wherever this adventure called life brings us next, whatever's waiting in store, however this... however this turns out is what's meant to be. It's Al Pi Hashem. Somebody sent me something else. I don't know the author of this, but I love it, so listen carefully. One evening the prayers of a poor family were answered. There was a knock at the door and tens of people stood outside. "Who are you?" asked the father. "I'm Simcha, happiness. This is Emunah, faith. That there is joy, this is health, standing there is success, and tough guy over there is power. We are what you requested in your prayers," he said to the stunned family members. "But you're only allowed to choose one of us." The family members were perplexed what would be the best choice? Success or health? Happiness or power? Eventually the father went over and said, "We choose Emunah." As Emunah started to enter the house, she was followed by all the other wishes. "What happened?" asked the astonished father. "You said we could choose only one." "That's right," explained happiness. "But wherever Emunah goes, we all follow." Isn't that adorable? I don't know who wrote it, it's adorable. Wherever Emunah goes, we all follow. So we crave all these things in life. We want to be joyful and happy. We want power, we want humility, we want wealth, we want health, we want stability. We crave all these attributes, we crave all these components of a life. But there's one of them that they all follow and that is Emunah. Reminds me of Rav Soloveitchik Al HaTeshuvah. Soloveitchik says that there was a psychologist in Boston, psychiatrist, who came over to him and who said, "I don't understand this Jewish Yamim Noraim, days of awe. Days of awe, days that you're filled with fear and dread and fright and panic." He says, "I'm a psychiatrist, I'm a mental health professional. I spend all my time trying to heal people from those very feelings and you're davening for them? וכן תן פחדך ה' אלוקינו. Hashem, let us live with a healthy fear and awe of you. I spend all my time trying with therapy and support and heal people from that." And Soloveitchik said that this mental health professional, psychiatrist didn't understand that there's one fear that can alleviate all other fears. There's one healthy fear that alleviates and provides relief from all the other debilitating and unhealthy fears. So whatever your fear is, your fear is public speaking, your fear of heights, your fear of failure, your fear of a health crisis, your fear of the government, your fear of war, your fear of whatever your fear is, if you surrender to Hashem, if you accept Hashem in life, if we live with a healthy fear and awe of him, then there's nothing else to fear because he's in charge, he's in control. So that one fear relieves and resolves all other fears. And similarly, if you choose Emunah, wherever you let Emunah in, everyone else follows, everything else follows. So it's a matter of the mindfulness and the consciousness to be able to make that choice when given all these choices of how to live and what to think about and who to be. Live with Emunah, see the world through Emunah, filter the world through Emunah, interpret the world through Emunah. And whatever's happening, Lisa's at the airport in Seattle right now, wherever you are and whatever you're doing, whatever's happening, I hope everything's on time and you have a good seat and there's enough overhead. But that metaphor of flights for life, whatever happens, it's an adventure. על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. Hashem has to be with us wherever we go throughout our journey, throughout our encampment. He's the one who dictates when we go and where we go and how many legs our journey will have and how it will go and will we be rerouted and will we be detoured or will it go the way that we planned, how our itinerary will work out, it's all Al Pi Hashem. It's all from above. And the sooner we accept that and the sooner we lean into that and the sooner that we are mindful of it, the easier our ride goes as a passenger. And the more that we're fighting with him over the steering wheel, the more we're in a power struggle over who sets the itinerary, the more unenjoyable the ride's going to be. So sit back and enjoy the ride. They tell another story, another metaphor of a person who had a lot of luggage who needed a ride. And so there was a person with their horse and buggy and they saw that individual, this Ba'al Chesed, the wagon driver decided to do Chesed. So he stopped and he said, "I'm happy to take you, I'm going there anyway." So he takes the person into his buggy, into his wagon, and the man sits in the back of the wagon and he's clutching his luggage, his suitcase. So the wagon driver says, "What are you doing?" He says, "I feel bad. You were kind enough that you're giving me a ride, at least let me hold the luggage." So the wagon driver said, "Either way I'm carrying it all, you might as well put down the luggage and enjoy the ride. Either way I'm driving. Either way I'm taking you there. So you might as well put down the luggage and enjoy the ride." And whatever baggage that we're carrying, the baggage of our childhood, the baggage of our upbringing, the baggage of our history, the baggage of our DNA. And the baggage of what is around us, our environment and the condition and the people, just put it down and enjoy the ride. Let go and let God. Understand על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסעו. He says I'm driving the wagon and I'm giving you a ride. So you might as well put down the luggage and enjoy the ride because you're not helping by, the tighter you hold it, the more you clutch it, all you're giving up is your happiness. All you're forfeiting and surrendering is your serenity. So you might as well put it down and enjoy the ride and enjoy the ride because we're not in control, we're not the pilot anyway. All this reminds me that next week Baruch Hashem traveling to another simcha Wednesday, so the shiur next week will be Monday Im yirtzeh Hashem. We'll send out the reminder on the WhatsApp group, if you're not on the WhatsApp group sign up for the WhatsApp group, get bonus emuna material. Did everybody listen last week to the song You, only You, You alone, only You Hashem? If you didn't, you failed on your homework. You may have to stay after. But listen to that song, listen to it on a loop, listen to it while you're trying to get into a good head space, listen to it if you're forgetting to work out that emuna muscle or your emuna memory. Listen, You alone, only You, You alone, only You Hashem. Okay, we're on page Beis, לא לחשוב מה יאמרו העולם. צריכים אנו לצאת מהעולם הזה ולעבוד את ה'. A person has to try to transcend this world and serve Hashem. We could live in this world, the here and now, only see what's on the surface, or we could transcend it and live in a world of possibility. A world the Jewish people ein mazal l'Yisrael. We're not bound by what other people are bound by. We're not bound by rules of history, if we were we would've disappeared, we would've been erased, we would've been exterminated long ago. We are not bound by the rules of history and the rules of nature, ein mazal l'Yisrael. We're still here, we're still talking about it. So don't live in the here and now. We spoke yesterday in the parsha shiur. Don't hear the voice of the meraglim in your ear, lo yachol, we can't do it. Hear the voice of Kalev who stands up and says עלה נעלה כי יכול נוכל. We've got this. That אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון. That if we will it, it's not a dream. There's nothing that is impediment or will block us if we want it. So a person lives with emuna. The Piaseczna Rebbe in Aish Kodesh. The holy Piaseczna Hashem yikom damo, zechuso yagen aleinu, the holy Piaseczna Rebbe, Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira of Piaseczna. So he writes in his Aish Kodesh, in the drashos that he gave in the Warsaw Ghetto, that he scribbled on scraps of paper and they were buried in canisters and they were discovered in the Oneg Shabbos archives underneath. Not all the canisters have been discovered, there might be more writings of the Piaseczna that we are yet to have. And anyway 1940, Parshas Shelach 1940. The French had just fallen to the Germans, Germany conquered France, and he stood up to give a drasha in the Warsaw Ghetto in 1940 and it looked hopeless and bleak and the Germans were marching, taking over all of Europe, France had just fallen. And what was his message? This message. The voice of Kalev. The lesson and the message of Kalev. Ki yachol nuchal. He said sometimes in life you're in a dire circumstance and if you're trying to imagine and dream of a way out and it seems beyond the realm of possibility then you're going to give up. So stop trying to dream and figure it out because the more that you feel limited by the box called nature, science, doctors, statistics, data, the more that you're looking at the reality with a limited finite human eye and now you're narrowing your options until they disappear and there aren't any, the more yeush, the more despair and despondency you're going to feel. But the point at which you can say, you know what, ein mazal l'Yisrael. Hashem is above teva, he's above nature. We are not subject to statistics and data, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is beyond possibility. I'm letting go and I'm letting God. Yachol nuchal. And where did the Piaseczna come to this? Because he says if you look in the parsha, the meraglim stand up, they grab the mic, got a huge attendance, and they say to all the Jewish people, you know, they're giants, they're very strong, they're fortified cities, look at the size of the fruit. They give out an entire list of very legitimate reasons why it's not going to work out. What does Kalev do? He gets up, he doesn't refute one of their reasons. He doesn't take on any of their very compelling arguments. He doesn't refute them and dissect them one by one. What does he get up and say? Yachol nuchal! Despite that! So what! Nevertheless! True! But we got this because He's got us, He's got our back and as long as we surrender to Him we've got this. Now that doesn't mean that every time you say yachol nuchal your problems will be cured. I wish it were that easy, that's not the world that we live in. Terrible, painful, bad things still happen to good people and it's not so simple that if you say yachonducha, you get married, you have the baby, you find the job, everybody's healed of illness. It's not so simple. And nobody should ever suggest it's so simple. This world is filled with unbearable pain and disappointment. But it means that how do we endure, where's our resiliency come from, how do we navigate when going through a challenging situation, like the Piaseczner who has to turn to this people, France is fallen, the Germans are marching through Europe, the Jewish people are being decimated and exterminated, and the Piaseczner gets up in the Warsaw ghetto in 1940 and he says, ki achonducha. Would you believe that in eight years they're going to declare a State of Israel and a Jewish army? Would you believe there'll be more Torah learning in Israel than ever before? Eight million a population in Israel discovering medical breakthroughs, ki achonducha. Don't despair and don't give up and march on. When you embrace and allow Hashem in our lives, ki achonducha. So Rav Gamliel writes, we have to leave latzeis meiha'olam, don't be bound by the limitations and the boundaries of this world. The Jews we don't live in this world. If the Chashmonaim lived in this world they never would have fought. If Mordechai and Esther lived in this world there'd be no Shushan. If the Jews in the Crusades and the Inquisition and the Holocaust lived in this world we wouldn't be here. We're only here 'cause we don't live in this world. We're not bound by this world. לא כעבודת כל אנשי העולם שכן עבודת האדם בדרך כלל מעורבת בפניות. Don't be, don't live a life that is influenced by ego, and by other motivations, and by personal biases. כל הזמן חושב מה יחשבו עליו הסובבים אותו וכל הזמן כפוף רק לדעתם של אחרים. Kol zman, kol zman. By the way, remember last week I told you the story about the woman in Starbucks? Yes. And I said you know it's amazing non-Jews, they're not shy, they're not embarrassed, they don't hesitate, they're not ashamed, but you don't see Jews doing that. So I was at a wedding, I had the privilege of officiating a wedding on Sunday, and the two boys often the chassan chooses friends to be the edei yichud. So outside the yichud room, eight minutes and then you knock, edei yichud are there, I feel responsible when I'm mesader kidushin to be there also, just to help stand guard, still some paperwork. So these two boys are standing outside the yichud room and they just danced up a storm, they're shvitzing, and one says to the other, you know, let's take a minute and daven for our friend for his marriage. And the two boys embrace in a hug, and I'm standing there listening, eavesdropping, and I'm blown away. These two young men, these two boys, these two products of our community, embraced in a hug, and eyes were both closed, and they were each offering their own tefillah for their friend as they stood as edei yichud, he was in the yichud room, and it lasted ten seconds, and then they let go, and they went back to whatever shmoozing they were doing. And I was like... wow. So I was wrong, I spoke lashon hara about Klal Yisrael. I said only these women in Starbucks hold hands and pray on it, and look at these young men, look at these boys, these bachurim, who I don't know they saw that modeled for them, that you hug and offer a tefillah for a friend in their moment of simcha. There's like a hundred remarkable things about this story, a hundred remarkable things about them. They don't know that I was watching, they don't know that I heard, I doubt they're going to hear this and know that how much I appreciated it. But you know everyone davens for someone who is in trouble. You daven for someone who is in dire circumstance, you daven for somebody who undergoing surgery, who was diagnosed with an illness, needs a shidduch, is trying to have a child. Here were two people who daven for their, these are both single boys. They have not yet met their bashert. But they said let's daven for our friend who's, we're at his simcha. He's done, he's finished. He's the lucky lottery winner. He's married and they're still not. But they didn't say let's ask him to daven for us. They said let's daven for him. I was just blown away. And they hugged, they were also disgustingly sweaty, I was pretty blown away by that, they were still willing to hug, and they hugged, and their eyes closed, and they davened. Not for the camera, not for the limelight, not so that Goldberg would tell the story at his Emunah shiur, they didn't know that I noticed. It was just a beautiful thing. It was a beautiful thing. So that's what it means, לא כעבודת כל אנשי העולם. We're living a different life. We're meant to be living in a different reality. We're meant to be living in a different plane, a different dimension. The whole world is living down here. Whole world is living in the stock market, statistics and data, and politics and politicians, and we're living in this place that says al tivtechu vindivim. Hashem runs the world. Hashem chooses leaders and politicians, and who knows what tomorrow is going to bring and how things will play out and who will be left standing and who... we're just we're looking at the same world but we're looking at it through a different pair of lenses. We're living it a very different life. So כל זמן חושב מה יחשבו עליו, if the whole time you're thinking what will the people around me yasoveiv im oiso, what are the people around me going to think? I can't interrupt this business meeting and make a bracha! What are they going to think about me? What if I lose the deal? What if I get fired? What if I don't get the job? Don't think that. You say, "Excuse me one second, I just want to say thank you for the food." I've never heard of anyone who did that, who the person opposite them didn't have more respect for them. I'm not saying you have to shokel, and I'm not saying that you have to scream it and you're spitting on the person opposite you, and I'm not saying you have to say "pray with me", and I'm not saying... but properly, appropriately, sensitively, respectfully. Al yachshov, it's the first seif of Shulchan Aruch. And we daven it every day in Al HaTzadikim, three times a day in our Shemoneh Esrei we say... what do we say? Al yevosh, what do we say? Don't let me be embarrassed. Let me be with those who have faith, and lo neivosh, don't let me ever be embarrassed or ashamed. So I got to chap a Mincha in the side of Yankee Stadium, I'm davening at the terminal in the airport, I'm in a place where I have to make an Asher Yatzar outside the bathroom, I'm making a bracha before I eat because that's what a Jew does. Don't ever let me be embarrassed, don't ever let me be ashamed, don't ever let me hesitate to do the right thing about my business deal, but it's Shabbos, but it's Yom Tov, but I have to shut down the website, but I have to get a heter iska because there's ribbis involved in the deal. Don't ever let me be embarrassed or ashamed. We daven. That's what we daven three times a day. Let me place my faith in You, not in man. ולא לידי מתנת בשר ודם, we daven in bentching. Let me know where my real life and sustenance and health comes from. וכל הזמן כפוף רק לדעתם של אחרים. Everyone else is always so worried what will others think? Will they follow me? Will they like me? Will they forward me? Will they hire me? Will they become a client? We don't live in that place. We do what's right, and we respect and we care. ואם באים לעבודת השם קודם יש לידע היכן נמצאים כי יתכן שחושבים שעובדים את השם ובעצם עובדים את עצמם. Says Rav Gamliel, how many people think that they're worshipping Hashem when they're really worshipping themselves? When it's really about their ego, their desire, their drive, their name, their honor, their glory? כמו שכתב הזוהר הקדוש דכל חסד דעבדין לגרמייהו עבדין ואפילו מה שחושבים מענייני העולם הבא גם הוא עבור עצמם. And how many people even who are doing all of the right things but are doing it for the wrong reason? Our Rebbe in Kerestir, Abba, Rav Blachman, used to say, you know, life's like a circle and there are points all around the circle, and those points are davening, learning, chesed, tzedakah, menschlichkeit, middos, all these points around the circle. Boom, doing all the right things. But what is at the center of the circle? All those points on the circle, what do they point back to? At the center of the circle is it Hashem or is it you? Is it that it makes you feel good, that's why you do those things? Is it because it gives you honor and glory, going to give you good kids, good shidduchim? Is it because it gives you a good name or creates good business opportunities or helps your reputation? What is in the center of the circle? That's what he used to challenge us. It's great that in yeshiva you're doing all the right things on the outside of the circle. Davening, learning, middos, working on... great, wonderful. But what's at the center of that circle? Why are you the last one in the beis medrash? Because you can't get enough of Hashem's Torah, or because you want everyone to say you're the last one in the beis medrash? Now by the way, it's not so bad if that's the reason too. Not so bad, שלא לשמה בא לשמה. Even if you're doing it for the wrong reason, not so bad. You'll come to learn to do it for the right or the good reason. Not so bad. But at least we have to have a self-awareness. You have to have self-awareness. You have to know yourself and your drive and your motivation and your love language and why you're doing what you're doing and constantly be reassessing and re-evaluating and bringing Hashem back into the conversation and constantly be saying it's about You, really Hashem. ולאמת שצריך כל אדם להיות כפוף לבורא על כל נקודה ונקודה. We have to constantly say to ourselves, kofuf means that we have to surrender to Hashem. We have to submit to Hashem. It's about Him, it's not about us. We work for Him, He doesn't work for us. It's about His... now it happens to be that in working for Him, He's the best boss in the world. He's got the best benefits, pays the best salary, the most appreciative, and He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be happy. What a boss! We work for Him, but it happens to be that the work He asks us to do for Him is the very work that gives us eternity, netzach netzachim. The work that we have to do for Him that He asks us to do is the work that gives us the greatest fulfillment and happiness and joy in the world. There's nothing like it. It's the greatest purpose for why we're here. He's the best boss ever. So we have to know that we work for Him, He doesn't work for us, and we also have to know that the work He's asking us to do for Him is really for us. Is really for us. So לא לחשוב מה העולם יגיד ומה אחרים יחשבו ויראו. So when he says, I need you to take off, it's Yom Tov. I need you to make a brocha because it's going to make you appreciative and grateful and humble. I need you to dress modestly, it's hot as anything in the summer in Boca, but this is who you are and be dignified and regal and royal. When he says, I want you to do that and I want you to do it for you, don't stop and say, but what will others think? Because I'll tell you a little secret, we wrote about this last week's article. What other people think about you is none of your business. True. What other people think about you is none of your business. And we wrote in last week's article, there's a balance. We do have a principle called maras ayin. It is my business if I go into Burger King to use the bathroom or get a cup of water, but others will misinterpret and mistakenly think you can eat there. Or, there's tzvei dinim in maras ayin. One halacha of maras ayin is you don't want to mistakenly mislead people and they're going to make do the wrong thing, that's one din. The other is, there's a halacha you're not allowed to speak lashon hara about yourself. It's a famous story the Chafetz Chaim, who was on a train to Radin, from Radin to Radin, and somebody was on the train, and he said, it must have been to Radin, and I guess he struck up conversation with the other party with the other person. Where you going? I'm going to Radin. Why? I want to go see the Chafetz Chaim. Oh, Chafetz Chaim, what do you hear about him? Oh, he's the tzadik of the generation. He's the greatest. He's righteous, he's modest, he's noble, he's humble, he's the greatest. Chafetz Chaim said, he's not so great. He tries. He tries, but he's not so special, he's not so great. And the man slapped him across the face. The Chafetz Chaim later said, I learned from this episode that you're not allowed to speak lashon hara about yourself too. We think about the prohibition of lashon hara gossiping about other people, and we should be strict and careful and vigilant, don't gossip, don't speak lashon hara about others, but also don't speak lashon hara about yourself. False humility, this is what we're learning in Mesillas Yesharim, before the shiur on Wednesday mornings, false humility is lashon hara about yourself. If you're talented, you're athletic, you're artistic, you're smart, you've a great memory, you're creative, you're well-organized, and you say, no, not so much, it's not so true, I'm not so great. That's speaking lashon hara about the gifts and talents God gave you. Ah, so isn't it arrogant to say, yeah, it's true, I'm artistic, I'm humble, I'm the most humble, it's true, I'm the most humble? Isn't that arrogant? So the Ramchal teaches, the Ran writes, no. The humble response is to say, Hashem has lent me talents and skills, I feel responsible with them, they're on loan and they could be taken back at any moment. הוא הנותן לך כח לעשות חיל. So don't say kochi v'otzem yadi, הוא הנותן לך כח. So a humble response is not to be in denial of the gifts that were given, that's lashon hara about ourselves. The humble response is, Hashem has granted me some talents, I feel responsible to use them to my fullest, not to steal from him by not using them, and I recognize every day and every moment they are on loan, they're not part of a permanent collection, and they could dissipate any moment. They could dissipate any moment. That's a real humility. So not only are you not allowed to speak lashon hara about others, Chafetz Chaim said you're not allowed to speak lashon hara about yourself. Why'd we get to that? Why'd I say you can't speak lashon hara about yourself? This is going to be a group effort over here now. Come on people, we're going to get there. Can't speak lashon hara about yourself, oh, lo lachshov mah, oh, because we were talking about maras ayin. Thanks, no thanks. We were talking about maras ayin. We were talking about maras ayin. Maras ayin we said is tzvei dinim, there's two halachos in maras ayin. So I can't go into Burger King, McDonald's, even though I did nothing wrong. I just went to get a Diet Coke. I went to get a Diet Peach Snapple. I went to go get some Trader Joe's corn chips, I don't know if they sell them in Burger King, McDonald's. I did nothing wrong. But you're going to see me and think you can go get a hamburger. So now I led to that, I'm responsible for that, I have to care about maras ayin. But the second halacha of why I can't go in is, you would never go near Burger King. You'd never go near McDonald's. You know that there's nothing there that's kosher, but now you're going to tell everybody, do you know the rabbi eats in McDonald's? So by going in, I'm essentially an accomplice to speaking lashon hara about myself. Tzvei dinim, there's two rules of maras ayin. So on the one hand, you have to care what other people think because you don't want to violate maras ayin. You have to be naki, והייתם נקיים מה' ומישראל, you have to be pure in the eyes of Hashem and others. But on the other hand, what other people think about you is none of your business. If you can look in the mirror and live with yourself, you believe that Hashem, you find favor in the eyes of Hashem, then what other people think about you is none of your business. Don't read the comments, don't listen to the buzz, don't want to hear if somebody wants to say. You hear what someone said about you? Say, no, I don't care, it's none of my business, none of my business what other people think about me. So a person, Rabban Gamliel says, when you're trying to live an emuna life, a righteous life, you don't have to throw it in other people's faces. You should be שם שמים שגור בפיו. It's good to say Please God, Imirtzashem. The Shlah Hakodesh in last week's Parsha we mentioned says, על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסע is the mokor for saying Imirtzashem, God willing. Shlah Hakodesh writes on last week's Parsha that is the source that before a Jew undertakes any activity we say, God willing. I'm going to the emuna shiur, God willing. Then I'm having lunch, God willing. I gotta go to work, God willing. I'm doing the laundry, God willing. I gotta drive carpool, God willing. I have a flight to catch, God willing. Imirtzashem. על פי ה' יחנו ועל פי ה' יסע everything we do we say Al Pi Hashem, God willing, Imirtzashem, Be'ezras Hashem. So on the one hand we shouldn't be shy or ashamed or embarrassed or hesitant or apologetic to invoke Hashem's name. We're going to repair and transform His world through His name and by being marbe kvod shamayim, by unapologetically screaming it from the rooftops on the one hand. On the other hand, in a business meeting you don't have to start proselytizing. In a business meeting, or you're interviewing for a job, you don't have to start sharing the Bible codes. You don't have to become all on the offensive and aggressive with it. But you shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed at all of who we are, to wear a yarmulke or to dress visibly like an observant Jew or to make a bracha, to make an asher yatzar, to offer a shmoneh esrei, to do whatever you have to do. To do whatever you have to do. רק מהו רצון הבורא. What other people think about you is none of your business. The only, the only opinion that we care about is, we of course care about our loved ones, our family, but Hashem. Mahu ratzon haborei. What does God want from me in this moment? What's the right thing to do right now? What's the right thing in the here and now? Davening or say this bracha now? Do this, go there, say that, wear this. What does He want from me in this moment? וממילא לא יחשוב כלל על רצון אנשים אחרים. And if your entire life is guided and informed by what does God want, do I meet God's approval? What is Hashem saying about me? Then you'll fall away, it won't bother you and you won't care. ובזה יתפשט לגמרי מהעולם הזה. And that's how you transcend and rise above this world. Everyone else can have amateur hour. We're, we're professionals. And as professionals, we're living in a different dimension. You could be analyzing the world down there. You could be listening to all the political pundits talking about the primaries and politicians, but I'm living somewhere else. I'm living in a place of Al Tivtechu Bindivim. I'm living in a place of Lev, the heart, לב מלכים ביד ה'. The heart of the politicians are in the hands of... I'm living in a different... I'm seeing the world and interpreting it entirely differently. You know, others are counting statistics and data and they're looking at trends and history and they're subject to nature. Ein Mazal L'Yisrael. We're just living a different world and a different life. Uvizeh yispashet and that's how you rise above. וצריך בכל פרט ופרט לחפש רק את נקודת הבורא ועצמותו עד סוף. What's the pnimius? What's the pnimius of what's happening? So there's a war in Ukraine. There are missiles in Sderot. There's former presidents getting indicted, current presidents maybe will or should be indicted. There's all kinds of things happening around us. There's a virus, there's a pandemic, you never know. There's smog covering the tri-state area of New York. Who knows what's happening in this world from one moment to the next we never know. How do I interpret it? How do I understand it? Everyone else sees what's on the surface, but a yid goes right to the pnimius. A Jew goes right to the kishkes of it. What's the lesson? What's the message? What am I seeing? What's happening here? בין במחשבה בין בדיבור בין במעשה. The pnimius, the essence, the core, whether it's in thought, whether it's in speech, whether it's in action. וממילא יתבטלו בזה כל הפניות. And all the distractions fall away. And all the personal biases fall away. And all the arrogance and ego, hagaivah vehabilbulim. Don't get drawn in to the narishkeit. ואפילו כשחיים בעולם הזה חיים התפשטות הגשמיות והתפשטות מכל הלבושים. Rise above this world. Be living the pnimius. What's the avoda of each thing that you see and that you experience and that you hear? How is it meant to inform and transform who we are? What's my mission? What's my job? What do I do with this information? What do I do with this observation? Where does it leave me? That's all. What does Hashem want from me? What does Hashem want from me in this moment? ועשית הישר והטוב בעיני ה'. Do what's right and what's just in the eyes of Hashem. That's ultimately what it's really all about. You don't always know, because we have ד' חלקי שולחן ערוך. We have the four volumes of the Shulchan Aruch where Hashem dictates specifically our conduct, He regulates our behavior. But we have the proverbial Chamishi Chelek of Shulchan Aruch. When something doesn't fall into the first four. and we have to just try to intuit, what does Hashem want from me? So how will you know how to answer that? What does Hashem want from me right now? I once wrote an article, it wasn't popular with so many, but sometimes you know an airline has a glitch where all of a sudden they made a mistake, there's a computer glitch, not just an airline, there was once a jeweler and the online jewelry had a glitch and you could get something worth an enormous amount for a fraction of it. So what's the ethic of spreading that everywhere you know far and wide? Texting the world quickly, go on and buy the ticket because there's a glitch before they discover, before they fix it. So you could get into the Halacha, Gezel Akum and this and that and you could get into all the Halacha. And my article simply said, do you think Hashem is smiling down on you right now if you're taking advantage of somebody else's tza'ar? I know that people say no they do it on purpose, the marketing makes it all worth it, let's assume they don't. If it were your brother, if your brother had a business and something happened in the IT department and there was a marketing glitch and it mislabeled a bracelet that was a hundred thousand dollars and it sold it for a thousand and everybody went online and bought it and now your brother lost a ton of money, would you also be texting it to everybody you know if it was your brother's business? So and again I don't want to distract you by debating it because it is subject to debate, I'm not telling you I have the only opinion of it, but my point in that article was years ago was at least inserting into the conversation the question of what does Hashem want you to do right now? What would make Hashem proud? What would put a smile on his face? What would give nachas ruach to the Borei Olam? What does he want me to do? So everything I do, every choice, every simcha I plan, every trip I take, the vacation of where I'm going to go and that destination and what will be the activities and what will be my wardrobe and what will I be exposed to, every decision, what will give nachas ruach to Hashem? What will make him happy? What will put a smile on his face? I'm living a different life, living in a different dimension, living to the pnimiyus and the avoda of everything. What will make Hashem happy? What does he want from me in this moment? What does he want me to take out of this meeting? How does he want me to plan this experience, this event, this life, this next choice? That should be... so how do you know? How do you know? How do you know? How do you know? So the Briskov Rav, when the Briskov Rav passed away and his nephew Rav Soloveitchik gave a hesped for the Briskov Rav, he spoke about there are different relationships people have to Torah. There's a relationship of casual dating, there's a relationship of erusin of being engaged, betrothed, and there's the relationship of nisuin, you're married to Torah, married to Torah. So when I was dating Yocheved, I'm going to pick on her because she's not here today, when I was related, when I was dating Yocheved, I started to get to know her and I thought I knew her pretty well, we had marathon phone calls and dates, Baruch Hashem, was wonderful from the go. And I thought I got to know her, but I looking back barely knew her. And if somebody would have said, does your wife want the chocolate or the vanilla? Would she prefer this vacation, that vacation? Would she read this book or that book? I was just getting to know her and just dating, I don't know if I could have answered. And when we were engaged, we knew each other even better, we made a commitment, we had dreams of the life that we were going to live and build and where we'd live and so on, and I thought I knew her better. But now, we're married 26 years, and I still probably barely know her, I'm sure at our 50th anniversary I'll say 25 years ago, 24 years ago I barely knew her. But now, I could finish her sentences and she could finish mine. Now she'll start saying something with no context, I should have no idea what she's talking about, I know exactly who, what, where she's talking about. Because you're married, you come to know somebody that well, that long, that deeply, you could finish their sentence. You don't even have to be, they could not be there at the restaurant yet, you know exactly what to order for them. You know exactly where they want to sit on the plane, you know exactly what book they want to read, you know exactly, you could finish their sentence. So Rav Soloveitchik said about his uncle, the more Torah you learn, the more Torah you know, the more intimate you have a relationship with Torah, the more we can trust you to finish Hashem's sentence. How do we know the ratzon Hashem? How do you know when Hashem didn't tell it to us, it doesn't appear in the Shulchan Aruch, doesn't appear in the Torah, doesn't appear in the Halacha? How do you know what he wants us to do? The answer is, who are you going to trust? ChatGPT? Google? Somebody who's just been introduced to Torah? Somebody who doesn't know which way to hold the sefer up or down? Someone who can't make a laining on a Gemara, never finished a masechta? Someone who barely knows Hashem, that's who you're going to trust to finish his sentence? Or are you going to trust the person who lives and sleeps and dreams and 24/7 is in conversation with Hashem? Who are you going to trust? That's what the Rav was talking about, who are the ba'alei hamesorah? And the greatness of his uncle, the Briskov Rav, and a gadol b'Yisrael is somebody who so lives and knows and is immersed and is intimate relationship So the more that we learn Torah and live Torah, the more we can be trusted and trust ourselves to try to finish his sentence, the ratzon Hashem. But the most important thing is to always ask ourselves, sometimes we'll hit that wall, I don't know. Then we go to a Brisker Rav of our generation. You go to the person who can finish Hashem's sentence and say, I have a problem, I don't know what to do, I don't know what will make him happy, I don't know what will give him nachas. Can you help me finish Hashem's sentence? Because I don't know what he wants me to do. Help me finish Hashem's sentence for me. I don't know what the right choice is here. So you go to somebody who knows him really well. But sometimes we can finish that sentence. But we have to start by asking that question. And how many people do? How many people ask themselves, what kind of a simcha should I plan? What should it look like? Where should I go on vacation? Should I take this job? What does Hashem want? Should I order this thing? Should I take advantage of this glitch? Should I tell the world about it? What will give Hashem nachas ruach? What's asisa hayashar vehatov? What is the righteous and just thing? What is it that Hashem wants me to do? That's the question we have to always ask ourselves. Tonight behind the Bima, Zvi Gluck, the founder and CEO of Amudim, an amazing organization. He's an incredible person with endless energy on the front lines of taking care of the Jewish people. Well worth tuning in, that's tonight nine o'clock. Next week, Shir is on Monday, not Wednesday. I'll remind you of that. If you haven't listened to the song, listen, and we'll post some more bonus material just to keep you all honest in the WhatsApp group. And until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
