Transcript
Good morning, good morning, and a *freilichen Shushan Purim*. Welcome back to Living with *Emunah*. I want to thank our generous sponsors for the year, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgen in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella’s mother, Doctor Ellen Chanzer. Thank them so much. This morning’s *shiur* is also sponsored. Thank you to the Strulowitz family on the *yahrtzeit* of *Yisrael ben Baruch*. Thank you for your generosity. *Neshamah* should have an *aliyah*. Anonymously with שבח והודיה הקדוש ברוך הוא by Avi Assman in memory of יוסף לייב בן חוואנה whose *yahrtzeit* was on the seventh of *Adar*. So thank you to all of our generous sponsors, greatly appreciate it. And I want to thank those who’ve already joined the global community and given to the global campaign. If you’ve not yet given, it’s not too late. We are only 55 percent of the way there. If you’re a BRS member, you’re more than doing your part. If you’re not a BRS member but you enjoy the content, you’re enriched, you listen, you read, you watch, you grow, please do your part. Click on BRSonline.org/global and please join us, enable us to continue to promote and share *Torah*. Okay, wishing everyone a *freilichen Shushan Purim*. The partying and the *Purim* continue. It’s not over yet. *Purim* is a day of *bittul*. We submit, we surrender, we nullify ourselves to *Hashem*. *Ad d'lo yada*, stop trying to hold on to think you can understand, you can control, you can comprehend the entire world. We have to surrender to Him. We have to recognize it’s His world and we take our initiative, we do our part, we take pride in our success, but in the end of the day, ultimately, *ad d'lo yada*, ultimately we surrender to Him. And that’s the *Megillah* is filled with. When *Mordechai* says to *Esther*, מי יודע אם לעת כזאת הגעת למלכות? *Mi yodeia*? Who knows? *Mi yodeia*? It’s all about letting go of the *da'as*. So some demonstrated it yesterday, *be-po'al*, in practice, and are paying the price this morning. But whether you literally or figuratively participated in surrendering *da'as*, that we don’t understand, sometimes you have to let go. It’s painful, it’s difficult, it’s hard to reconcile or to understand *Hashem's* world. You know, it’s easy when you miss the flight or you’re stuck at the red light and you went to the *Emunah* *shiur*, so you let go, okay, that’s easy. But when there are irreversible, devastatingly catastrophic, painful things that happen in a person’s life, to surrender *da'as* in those moments is very, very hard, very hard. It’s what *Purim*, *Shushan Purim*, the energy of *Purim* is still in this world, in the walled cities, *Yerushalayim* and others, and we’re continuing to draw from that energy in our practice of letting go of that *da'as*. I want to share with you another I love the *Emunah* stories, keep them coming, please email, please share them, they inspire me and I hope when I share them with you, they inspire you as well. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, been listening to your *parsha* *shiur* every week, hope it doesn't sound cliché, but blah blah blah blah blah. Instead of listening to music while I'm driving or cooking, I now listen to your *shiurim*. Good. I'm writing this email as I hold my one-year-old in the post-anesthesia care unit. Today started out like any other day. I was driving to my boy's school and looked for an *Emunah* *shiur* to listen to, and since I was up to date with the current ones, and I got to *shiur* number 206, where you shared an email from someone about almost missing a flight. She shared the entire time that she was going through the airport, she didn't worry, she knew that if *Hashem* wanted her to get on the plane, she would get on the plane. The story continuously emphasized the idea that *Hashem* puts everyone exactly where they need to be at any given moment. This afternoon, as I was putting a batch of *challah* dough in the oven, my baby crawled upstairs. I knew some of my other kids were there and I was straightening up the kitchen. Suddenly, my son came down saying the baby was choking on a piece of Lego. I ran upstairs and saw my daughter throwing up and gasping for air. As I hit her on the back, I somehow had the presence of mind to remember exactly where my cell phone was and to call *Hatzolah*. Within two minutes, one member of *Hatzolah* was at my house, as well as my neighbor. At that time, my baby had thrown up a lot and was breathing, although she was still not breathing easily and sounded very wheezy. My neighbor told me that I should stop hitting the baby's back, she was breathing. *Hatzolah* ambulance arrived to take us to the hospital. At the hospital, we went through the triage of the pediatric ER, had X-rays taken, but there was nothing remarkable about what the doctor saw. They asked me numerous times if the baby was congested before this choking incident, and I told them that she was not. With this in mind, they recommended that an ENT look at the X-rays to give another opinion regarding next steps. While we were not comfortable leaving with her, the idea of sending her to the operating room to stick a camera down her throat or to use different tools to remove a foreign object from her lung was not exciting either. We were told the ENTs were all busy, it may take hours for them to be available. In the meantime, my daughter could breathe, but sounded very wheezy and hoarse. We have a very close friend who works in the hospital and was able to pull some strings to have an ENT come down to us within minutes. After consulting with the doctor, attending physician, it was decided the baby would need this procedure in the operating room. We brought her to the OR, said goodbye, and started *davening*, along with the rest of the family's WhatsApp chats. After about half an hour, the surgeon came out and told us *Baruch Hashem* she was fine, and proceeded to show us what he found right beneath my baby's vocal cords. In the area before branching out to the lungs, a Lego hairbrush was stuck. They then had to intubate my daughter in order to remove the foreign object. *Baruch Hashem* they found it. My husband and I were listing all the unbelievable *chasadim* from *Hashem* in this whole episode, too many to list in full but I'll write a few. The fact that my neighbor came and told me to stop hitting the baby once she was breathing, fact that the six-year-old told me she put Lego in her mouth, so I didn't feel comfortable that her wheezing sounds were congestion, the fact that though she was congested for months, since it's cold here in the winter, and for the past week she was 100% clear, I also knew not to go home and be okay with her sounding wheezy, the fact that our friend was able to call someone to get us to see the ENT quickly, fact that this Lego piece was large in a way that still enabled my daughter to breathe while going through the ideal, this ordeal, and the list goes on and on. Throughout the entire process I remained calm and level-headed, I knew it was exactly where I was supposed to be at every single moment in time. I told this to my daughter while holding her in the ER while we were waiting, and said many times, and said many times *Ki Atah Imadi*, which had been on my phone lock screen. As you said many times, the messages are not new, it's important to always be working on our *emuna* muscle. Without the constant reminder, I don't think I would have been as calm and collected as I was tonight. Now as I finish the email we're back home *Baruch Hashem*. As my husband and I wheeled my daughter out of the hospital, we quietly sang חסדי ה' כי לא תמנו. He truly performs never-ending *chasadim*. He loves us as no one else does. Thank you for the *shiur* and the *divrei Torah*. Feel free to share the story, but leave out our names. Okay. So, it's another amazing story, thank you for all the stories, but what I'll tell you what I think is remarkable about the story, about almost all the stories that are shared, is again the two perspectives or attitudes a person could bring. So many others could write that email and say, *Hashem* where are you? Where were you? You let my daughter swallow a Lego piece? You sent us to the ER, we sat and she had to go into the OR, you scared us half to death, you put us through this ordeal, you made her suffer through this procedure. There is no God, where are you? How could you? *Chevre* we have two choices in life. You could live life that *Hashem* is everywhere, you could live life that *Hashem* is nowhere. You could live life angry and bitter and look for when He's missing, or you could live life and see when He's showing us His hand. When you could feel His presence. So, it's remarkable and hats off to the author of the email who chose to live through that ordeal and list and enumerate and count out the many *chasadim* to see the guiding hand of *Hashem* throughout the ordeal and to sing חסדי ה' כי לא תמנו and to realize *Ki Atah Imadi* wherever we are, whatever we're sitting, whatever we're waiting for, *Hashem* you're there and you are with me. We those are the two choices that we have. Those are the two choices that we have. It won't make anything better to say where are you and how could you? And it's understandable sometimes to feel that way, to be in that pain and to protest and to object. It's understandable. I'm not sitting in judgment of anybody who reacts that way when they go through a horrible situation. It's understandable. But we could also look at even within the horrible situations and say, at least, or thank you for, or I'm so grateful for that. And that's what this person chose to do and I'm grateful they took the time to write me. We're on page *Ayin Vav* back in *Tuv HaEmuna*, *Rav Gamliel Rabinovich*, great *tzaddik* in *Yerushalayim* and he tells us the following on the bottom of page *Ayin Vav*. דרכים רבות יש לעבודת ה' יתברך. There are many ways and many paths to the service of *Hashem*. ישנם העוסקים כל היום בגמילות חסדים. There are those people who are drawn to and turn to, their *shoresh neshama*, the core of who they are, the *neshama* lights up from doing *chesed*. ישנם העוסקים בתורה עצמה. There are others whose *neshama* lights up when they study *Torah*. They open a *sefer*, they listen to a *shiur*, they have a *chavrusa*. ובזה גופא ישנם כמה אופנים. And even within the study of *Torah*, יש הלומדים רק פשט בגמרא. There are those who like to go through the simple understanding of the text. ויש הלומדים בעיון חריפות ופלפול. Some prefer to go through the rigorous analysis. *Yesh halomdim halacha*, some like learning Jewish law. יש העוסקים באגדתא בספרי מוסר בספרי חסידות. Everyone has a *netiya*, everybody's *neshama* is different. We're all drawn to different things. Some like to be intellectually stimulated and provoked. Some like emotionally to be challenged. Some like to volunteer and do *chesed* and some their *neshama* lights up, they're on fire, *neshama* is turned on from *davening*. יש גם שעוסקים בתורת הקבלה. ישנם גם כן אלו העוסקים בעבודת התפילה בכל כחם, כל אחד ואחד לפי נטיית לבו וחפץ נפשו. So first of all, it's important, where's your soul drawn? What do you indulge in? What do you invest in? What do you identify with? What kind of a Jew are you? Which Jew are you? What are you drawn to? I'll tell you he doesn't quote this. We say often after a *dvar Torah* before the *Kaddish D'Rabbanan*, חנניה בן עקשיא אומר רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל. *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* the Almighty, it's a Mishna. The Almighty wanted to give a great *zchus*, a great privilege and pleasure to the Jewish. לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות. Like it's a Dedi song. לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות. So Hashem, because he wanted to give us a great gift, gave us a plethora, gave us an enormous list of Torah and mitzvos. So imagine, you know, you tell your child, "I love you so much. I want to give you a great gift. I have a zchus for you." And the zchus for you is, could you fold the laundry, clean your room, go shopping, cook dinner? It's a zchus. I have a great zchus for you. A laundry list of things that I'm asking you to do. That's a zchus that Hashem is giving us? לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות? He gives us Torah and mitzvos, that's a great privilege, that's a great zchus? So there's all kinds of answers to how you understand that question. Rashi, the Ramban, the Maharal, everybody weighs in, the Rambam, they all jump in with different answers. Some say, you know why it's a great zchus? What would happen if we wouldn't be busy and occupied with Torah and mitzvos? What would happen if you didn't have to daven in the morning, the afternoon, and the evening? You're learning Torah, you've got to do chesed, you've got to prepare for Purim? I hate to tell you but now we're 30 days from Pesach. Can't say it out loud. Ladies, I relate to you. Men, your husbands, they could care less, they do nothing, but me, Shabbos Hagadol drasha, I've got to sell chametz, I've got to burn the chametz. I relate to you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I also break out in hives. So we're busy. We're busy with Torah and mitzvos. There's a long list of things we have to do. You know, in the inner city, I don't know if it's true today but years ago they had something called the midnight basketball league. Lest you think I'm disparaging the inner city, if you speak to many yeshiva boys high schools, they follow the same policy. What was the philosophy of the midnight basketball league? They did the studies, the statistics. If you take people who when they're not occupied find themselves doing things they shouldn't be doing and instead you give them something to do, then crime rates go down and drug use and sales go down and they're busy, midnight basketball league. Many boys yeshiva schools, they have night seder and they have their own basketball league and they keep the boys late and their parents who say, "What are you doing with these kids? You know what time they come home? School ends this, then there's mishmar, then there's night seder, then there's basketball." So you know what the rebbeim say? "Yeah, we try to keep them as busy as possible because an adolescent boy who's not busy can find trouble." Can find trouble. I'm not saying they're going to do crime or they're going to sell drugs, but if they have a device or what else are they going to do? Sit playing video games? So the same philosophy. So one of the answers is Hashem says, "What are you going to do if I take away the Torah and mitzvos? How are you going to fill your time, what are you going to be busy with?" So he created a midnight basketball league only it's not only midnight, it's all day and all night and we're always thinking, right? We calibrate our compass, our life revolves around Torah and mitzvos. What's the next mitzvah? Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv. Did I daven Maariv? Did I bentch? Did I do chesed? What's the next Yom Tov? What's the next, when is Shabbos? I've got to cook. And it keeps us busy with holy and sacred and meaningful activity and it enriches our life enormously. That's one answer. Another answer, another answer, רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל. He wanted to give us a great zchus. This is the Maharal's answer. Maharal says, "Why is it a great zchus? Why is it a great zchus?" Says something amazing. Says something amazing. We know we have a mishna that says כל ישראל יש להם חלק לעולם הבא. All Jewish people have a portion in the world to come. So I ask you, a newborn baby, a baby emerges from the womb and that baby has a portion in the world to come. What has that baby done? They've not made any choices, they've not expressed free will, they've not earned any merit. Why are they deserving of a portion in the world to come? Why? So the Maharal says they have a soul, they have a Jewish soul, they have a Jewish soul that will be obligated in Torah and mitzvos. Says, you know, if the king, the president, the head of the company, someone in a position of power and influence taps you to do something for them. Even before you've done it or failed at it, the very fact that you were asked to do it elevates you. The very fact that you were the one. You were recruited. You were tasked. You were tapped with doing it. That very fact that you were asked to do it elevates you. So we say Hashem, it's not easy Torah and mitzvos, and I may fail. I may come up short. I may not get it all done or get it all done perfectly. But the fact that you asked me, that you thought of me, that you charged me with doing this for you, for your world, oh, that in itself is a zchus, that in itself is a merit. So לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות, he was ratza lezakos, he wanted to give a great zchus to the Jewish people. I may come up short, I may not get it all done or get it all done perfect, but the fact that you asked me, that you thought of me, that you charged me with doing this, for you, for your world, ah, that in itself is a zchus, that in itself is a merit. So לפיכך הרבה להם תורה ומצוות, he was rotzo l'zakos, he wanted to give a great zchus to the Jewish people, so he was הרבה להם תורה ומצוות. The Rambam, I'll just give you one more explanation then we'll go back to the text. The Rambam gives another. The Rambam says, Baruch atah adonai אלהינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו Amein. This is a morning caffeinate with kavanah. This is the morning caffeinate with kavanah, without kavanah, just you need the caffeine. Better with kavanah. Shehakol niyeh bidvaro, everything from you Hashem. Caffeinate with kavanah. Oh, erev Purim and motzei Purim you appreciate coffee. Erev Purim on Taanis Esther when you can't have it, and motzei Purim when you desperately need it, put it right into an IV drip the whole day. Baruch Hashem, you gotta caffeinate with kavanah. Be grateful, Ribono shel Olam. Psh, what a gift, what a gift. So the Rambam says another interpretation. רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל, Hashem wanted to do a great zchus, so הרבה להם תורה ומצוות. You know why? Because he says every Jew, every Yid man and woman, young and old, every Jew connects to a mitzvah. Connects to a mitzvah. You know you have those people in your life, in your family, in the shul. That's the Purim Jew. The whole year is Purim. The whole year they wait for Purim, they live for Purim. They've Shushan Purim they've already planned next year's costume. Next year's menu, next year's mishloach manos. They're all set. They're a Purim Jew. They love the Megillah, they love the graggers and the noise, they're the Purim Jew. You've got the Yom Kippur Jew, you've got the shiluach haken Jew. You got the Jew who drives around looking for a nest with a mother bird you could send it away, take the egg, you've got the shatnez Jew, you've got every type of Jew, there's a Jew who connects to mitzvos. There's the Jew who that's their mitzvah. They love that mitzvah, they know everything about that mitzvah, they studied up everything about that mitzvah, they love, every Jew connects to a mitzvah. Pesach, the Pesach Seder, Chanukah, Shabbos, Shalosh Seudos, Hamotzi, Benching, there's a Jew who connects, some love putting on tefillin, lighting the candles. So רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל, Hashem wanted to make a great zchus for Klal Yisrael. So you know what he did? Created an incredible, diverse array, an amazing menu of mitzvos. Find your mitzvah. What's your mitzvah? Which mitzvah speaks to your shoresh haneshama? Which mitzvah speaks to the core and the roots of your soul? What lights you up? What gets you going? What do you connect with? What do you want to study? What do you want to understand? What do you want to perform? What moves you? Which mitzvah is it? You love doing chesed, you love davening, you love learning. What do you love learning? Which day of the year, which day on our calendar, which, you've got the Chevra Kadisha Jew, the Zayin Adar Jew, the people who do taharos, you've got this every type of, there's a mitzvah. So no one would be able to say, 'Ah, I looked at the whole menu, there's nothing on it for me. Nothing speaks to me, not interested, nothing here to eat in this restaurant.' הרבה להם תורה ומצוות 613, there's something for everyone. There's something for everyone. So that's what Rabban Gamliel is saying. Some love learning, within learning they love different topics of learning or different styles of learning. Some love davening, some love chesed. Everybody has something that speaks to their soul. Ah, back in the text. צריך כל אדם לדעת שישנה נקודה פנימית עיקרית וחשובה. A Jew, a Yid, has to know that there is an inner point, an inner light, something so significant, something so meaningful, something so powerful, something so true, something so authentic and real, she-muchrachin laavod aleha that we have to all work on. והיא מה שכתוב במסילת ישרים בתחילת ספרו to what the Ramchal introduces, he begins Mesillas Yesharim with, יסוד החסידות ושורש העבודה התמימה שיתברר ויתאמת אצל האדם מה חובתו בעולמו. A person has to ask themselves, why am I here? What's my mission, what's my duty, what's my responsibility, what difference am I meant to make? Why am I here? What is life and what is this world all about? It's not about taking. It's not about receiving. It's not about rights and entitlements and honors. It's not 'What do I get out of it?' We are living in a generation, I say this all the time you'll forgive me if you've heard it before, said it in so many venues and places, we're living in a generation and a time more prosperous than ever and more miserable than ever. We have more comfort, more convenience, more prosperity, more material things than ever before. And people are more unhappy than ever before, more miserable, more farbiseneh, more depressed, more anxious than ever before. Why? Because when you live life, 'What do I get? Oh, I joined a...' What do I get? What do I get out of it? What are my rights? I get like a tote bag with PBS in the mail for joining for giving J and the AM sweatshirt. What do I get? What do I get from global? At least get some disposable caffeine with kavana cups. Maybe. What do I get? We live in a world where everyone wants to know what do I get out of it? What do I get out of it? I've had young boys tell me putting on tefillin doesn't do anything for I don't get anything out of it so I leave my tefillin at school I don't even bring them home Sunday I don't put them on because I don't get anything out of it. Everything in life is measured by what makes me happy what gives me pleasure what are my rights and entitlements what do I get out of it? But the Ramchal says if you live a life like that you could have the nicest car and the biggest house and go on the most exotic vacations and indulge in the greatest delicacies and you know what you're going to be miserable. You're going to feel empty because when life is all about what you can get what you can take what are your rights and entitlements you feel hollow inside. But if you live a life of the Ramchal if you live this life of mah chovato be'olamo not what can I take what can I give not what do I get but how can I contribute not what are my rights and entitlements but what are my duties and obligations. I woke up this morning I'm alive and I my faculties work not as well as they usually do but they're working at least they're working. I woke up this morning and I'm alive I'm alive. I have a my heart is beating in my chest I'm alive talents and blessings and skills and opportunities what will I do with them what difference will I make with them how can we contribute to this world? What can we give to what difference can we make what role can I play in my family in my community in my global community? What can I contribute what difference can I make how can I make a positive result? Now I'm not going to go into this because I have so many other times so many other places but the Ramchal does not say mah chovato be'olam. He does not say what is your duty your responsibility in the world but what is your duty responsibility in be'olamo what does be'olamo mean? His world her world in your world each of us have our own world. Some of us have physical mental emotional challenges struggles we have our own genetics we have our own baggage we have our own background we each have our own assets liabilities gifts and weaknesses we're all our own world so we shouldn't measure ourselves against someone else don't compete don't compare don't keep up figure out who you are what you're meant to do what difference you're meant to make what life you're meant to live in your world not someone else's world. What are you going through right now? What's happening? How do you feel? What opportunities do you have? Now what do you take with it and what do you do with it? כי בלמוד ותפלה וגמילות חסדים גדול יגיע לעיקר התכלית שעבורה נברא בעולם הזה says Rav Gamliel davening or learning or doing chesed just doing it with a check next to the box you are a checklist Jew what I call checklist Jew who's always got that checklist in their mind. Did I daven Maariv yet? Last night I was asking did I daven Maariv? Did I bentch? Please tell me I did. I did, Baruch Hashem. Did I? But you know even not Purim check check check check check. Did I do it check did I do it check did I did a little chesed today check gave to the global campaign check learned a little Torah check davened already check said some Tehillim check like that subtlety how I get that in check check check. But all of those checkmarks are not going to transform you as a person those checkmarks they don't go on your tombstone. You know the dash you all know the poem the dash if you don't Google the poem the dash it's such a great poem. What matters in your life is the dash between the years. You don't know the poem? You have the year you were born the year you died what matters is the dash. How did you live those years what difference did you make? I have a very peculiar hobby one of my peculiar hobbies as a rabbi as a rav I hang out in the cemetery a fair amount funerals and hakamas matzeivah and the like so you like to look around at matzeivos tombstones fascinating what people put on tombstones fascinating what people put I don't mean just you put the year you're born the year you died most have the minhag to only put the father's name we daven for a person while they're alive ben or bas their mother's name after they're gone we put their their father's name the identity in perpetuity then changes shifts to the father. But it's unusual it's peculiar someone emailed me recently for a particular reason and pointed out Rav Moshe Feinstein whose yahrtzeit was last week on his matzeivah it has his mother's name also but his father's name and his mother's name certainly we have a mesorah for that too nothing wrong with that to be identified connected with the father the mother all kinds of things go on a tombstone maybe if it's a Kohen you put the Kohen fingers. They love mahjong. They love mahjong. I've seen, I've seen on you can't imagine what I've seen on tombstones. The image that the family chose to put on the tombstone, you can't imagine, picture of the dog, they love their dog, the pet, seen all kinds of things on tombstones. So the question is the literal or figurative, the metaphorical matzeivah of our lives, what will it say? What will define the dash between our years? Mahjong? They were the best mahjong player in the community. They walked away every time we played, they were the winner, they walked away with the pot. That's what it's going to say? Nothing wrong with mahjong, I'm not ranking it, I'm not knocking mahjong, nothing wrong with mahjong. Enjoy shuffleboard, golf, tennis, recreation it's great, spend time with family, with friends, give 10% of your mahjong winnings, the pot goes to Tomchei Shabbos or the global campaign, nothing wrong with mahjong. I'm saying is that what's going to go on your tombstone? Is that? Reverse engineer your life, my friend Rabbi Donny Cohen has a book about this he wrote. Reverse engineer your life, what do you want them saying at your funeral? Your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren, your great-great-great-grandchildren. What do you want them, what do you want it to say in your tombstone? Yesterday I visited Mr. Sender, זאל זיין געזונט און שטארק. Wish him a happy Purim. Kina hara, his sister was over, she's a hundred, he's turning 99, and he's a younger brother who's 96 and I say whatever the Senders had growing up I want some of that, unbelievable. So his sister was asking me about my family, I hadn't seen her in a long time. I said would you believe I have three grandchildren and Mr. Sender says I have 56 great-grandchildren. So okay you win, you win, kina hara, ken yirbu, we should all be zocheh. So at our levaya after one twenty, what do you want them to talk about? Mahjong? That's what you wanted to talk about, what a mahjong player you were? What what do reverse engineer your life, write your own hesped and now live a life that it's worthy to receive that hesped. Write the eulogy you would want said about you and now live a life that earns that eulogy being said about you. You know Shlomo Hamelech told us tov, it's better to go to a beis avel than a than a beis mishteh. Better to go to a funeral than a wedding. Because a wedding is prospective, you know it's all kinds of brachos and promises and divrei Torah and hopes and aspirations for how this couple will live. And a funeral you reflect back and you look at how the person did live. And you walk away from a funeral, I know I do, and I want to be a good funeral, proper funeral, meaningful funeral of a of a good person, I say I want to be that kind of parent. Wow, they talked about what kind of parent they were, how present they were, what a role model they were, wow. I want to be that kind of child. Depending on the funeral I either call my kids or I call my parents on the way home from the funeral. Call Yoche, I want to be a better husband. You walk away, you I want to be better, I want that said about me. They never raised their voice, they never got angry, they were always around, they always showed up, they always, no one's saying any of these things about me, but it's not too late. It's not too late to live the life you were meant to live. It's not too late to earn the eulogy that you want to be said about you. That's how we're meant to live. So Gemara says you can't nobody will get up they were a checklist Jew. My mother, my father, they put a check next to everything that was asked of them, davening, Daf Yomi, tzedakah, chessed, chevra, check check check check check check check so that they could play tennis, golf, mahjong, go to the mall, go to the no one I don't want that hesped. They put a checkmark next to every box in Yiddishkeit. I don't want that hesped about me, I don't think you want it about you. Ma chovaso be'olamo they were a giver, they were a doer, they were an influencer in the best sense of that word, they transformed the world. That's what, not what did they take, what did they get, what did they receive, what did they have, what did they give, what did they do, how did they transform. המובן של דבקות שרואים ומרגישים, sorry I skipped a sentence, מוכרח להגיע אל הדבקות שהוא עיקר שורש פנימיות הכל. All of that, all of this world, all of this life is a platform to cling and to connect and to glue and to attach ourselves to Him. The Ribono Shel Olam the Almighty informs and animates and inspires everything we do. He's part of every conversation, He's part of every choice, He's part of every activity, He's part of all that we do and all the way we live. He's part of it all. It's dveikus, I'm clinging, I'm connecting to Him. To him. It's not just chesed I did. I walked away from that chesed, I imitated Hashem, who is the ultimate of chesed. God is the ultimate of benevolence. So when I was magnanimous, when I was kind and giving and altruistic myself, I was imitating him. I connected to him through the chesed of taking care of his other children. When I learned Torah, I mentioned in the Parsha class on Monday and I reserve the right to develop this sometime much more, but I heard it in a podcast and I loved it. You could read or learn for information or you could read or learn for transformation. We often read or we learn for information. And sadly too many of our schools, Yeshivas, their curriculum is designed around reading for information. But a Yid in Yiddishkeit, we read and we learn for transformation. So you should walk away from every shiur or every engagement with a text. Every time you open a sefer and you learned, you don't just say, well, what information did I get? What did I memorize? What do I know? But you walk away not with information but with transformation. Wow! I just accessed Hashem's will, his diary, his blueprint for creation, his recipe, his formula. Wow! I'm transformed by it. I have a whole new way of seeing the world. Transformed by it. Every time I daven, it's not just check. Now I rate the chazzan, now I rate the drasha, the rabbi spoke for way too long. It was too hot, it was too cold, but check, I davened. Transformed by that davening. Wow! What a davening! I had an audience with the Almighty. I connected, I attached myself to him. I protested, I objected, I told him when I'm not happy, I thanked him, I expressed gratitude for everything that worked out amazing. I davened, I connected, I attached. It was a dveikus. Each of these activities are not just to put a checkmark, they are all a platform and an opportunity for dveikus, for dveikus. If you take your child, you say come, I got to go to the supermarket. You want to come? Come, let's spend time. So you could put a checkmark next to we picked up all the things from the supermarket. Or you could say, because I did that with my child and we spent time, I transformed it to a meaningful activity. We had fun, we looked around, we laughed, we compared prices, we compared salad dressings, we decided what to get. So it went from a mundane activity to there was a store when I was growing up called Two Guys. Anyone ever hear the store Two Guys? When I was with my father worked long hours when I was a kid, Baruch Hashem I have the zechus to spend time with him now they live local and I don't take it for granted. Thank you Hashem. But when I was a kid we didn't see him much. He worked hard, he worked long hours. I have vivid memories as a small child of getting in his car to go to Two Guys. I don't remember what they sold at Two Guys or why we went there. It was like a Target? All right, Two Guys. Anyway, but I remember, I remember when he would say come, we're going to Two Guys, we got to get some stuff. That that time went from a mundane, the most mundane activity there could be, of a shopping list of things, to come, let's go. Come, we got to get gas. Come, we're going to the supermarket. Or come we're going to visit someone. Come we're going to the hospital and we're going to visit somebody. Come, let's change it from one activity to another. So we have that chance with Hashem. Hashem come, let's go, we're going to the supermarket. Hashem come, we're going to visit someone. Hashem come, I'm going to talk to you. You should come. I'm going to talk to you. Davening, learning, chesed, it should be for transformation, for dveikus שרואה ומרגיש את הקדוש ברוך הוא בכל פסיעה, we see Hashem every step. בכל נקודה ובכל עניין, every step, every point, every moment. כמו שאמר אדוננו דוד המלך ישראל בתהילים אנה אלך מרוחך ואנה מפניך אברח. Dovid Hamelech says this in Tehillim. אחור וקדם צרתני פירש רש"י פני ואחורי היינו הפנים ואחור על זה נאמר ותשת עלי כפך. הקדוש ברוך הוא מכניס את ידו בכל האופנים. Hashem puts his hand, he inserts himself in everything. You just have to look for him, to listen to him. If your antenna is extended, if you are attuned, you'll hear him. בין במצב של פנים בין במצב של אחור. Sometimes it's directly, it's panim. We learned this for many months, if you recall, b'yam darechecha. We saw it with Itche Meyer. panim and achor. We talked about ratzo v'shov, the different modes or moments in Yiddishkeit. Sometimes we're high, sometimes we're low, sometimes it's all flowing, sometimes you feel stuck, sometimes we feel face to face, sometimes we're just seeing his back. In every matzav, in every moment, he sticks out his hand. היינו בין כשיש לנו גילוי שלו בין כשנסתר מאיתנו. When he's revealed and when he's hidden, he's always there, he's always there. It's our mission, it's our mandate to go find him, to attach ourselves to him, to live a life in pursuit, in connection, in attachment with him, with dveikus. So that's our avoda. That's our avoda. Don't just live a checklist Yiddishkeit, don't just put a checkmark. Sitting in the eye, sitting in the emergency room outside the OR with a child with a Lego piece stuck in her throat, that's where the Ribono Shel Olam is. He's in that moment. You could be there yelling at Him, how dare You, how could You, where are You, to thank You. Thank You for the ten things that worked out right. Doesn't always work out right, it's even harder to see Him or thank Him. But in those moments, even if they're difficult, you have a person who stubs their toe. I see this all the time. Someone stubs their toe and, there is no God, I don't believe in God, why would God have that happen. And you have the person who has 17 kinds of diagnosis, takes 40 pills a day, has to go through 30 treatments, says, Hashem, thank You so much. Thank You that there are therapies and treatments, thank You for the good moments, thank You for the access to the doctors. I don't understand why and I'm miserable with it and I wish You didn't give it and I beg You to take it away, but I see You and I feel You and I'm grateful even for the small things in it. This shiur is sponsored each week in memory of Brian, Brian Galbut. Last week, a new Baruch Tzvi, a third Baruch Tzvi came into the world. So Brian is very much still alive, but at the end of his life he was dying and he would talk about isn't Hashem amazing. Till he couldn't talk anymore, but that he would say, Hashem is amazing, look how my whole family's around me, isn't Hashem amazing. Look, if I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. And if I didn't experience it as real as it was, I would say he just wanted to make sure that an ArtScroll book would be written about him. But it was real. Real. Isn't Hashem amazing. So we can be like the author of that email, even in a hard circumstance walk away grateful, having gone through an ordeal, but saying look at how Hashem has found so many ways in it. Or you could stub your toe, people get a paper cut, people have a canker sore on the tongue, they give up on God. No faith. How could He, where is He? It's up to us which way we're going to live our lives. Let's choose right because if we do, we could live not only in the most prosperous time, but the happiest time. The time filled with the greatest faith and meaning and purpose in this world, wishing everyone a freilichen Shushan Purim. Stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
