Transcript
Okay boker tov, good morning everyone. Thank you. Good morning, good morning. I hope it is a good morning. We pray for a good morning. There were two terror attacks in Israel this morning, two bombs that went off, including, tragically, the murder and the loss of a Yeshiva bachur, several injured, among them, baruch Hashem, she's well and was released from the hospital, but our own Rabbi Pilichowski, who used to live here in our community, his daughter was at the, in that location. baruch Hashem, she's okay and she is home, but I'm sure very, very shaken up. Our hearts, our thoughts, our tefillos, our prayers, and our shiur is dedicated for the comfort, for the strength, for the recovery, for the safety, for the security of our brothers and sisters in Israel who are paramount on our mind and have our full attention. I want to thank our generous sponsors of the Emuna shiur, Dr. Zavi and Bella Morgan, sponsoring in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbin, in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Shanzer. We remain very, very grateful to them. This morning's shiur is also sponsored by Michelle and Marny Weingarten in honor of their parents, Dr. Alexander and Merryl Weingarten. Thank you very much for your generosity. And in memory of Dr. Jacob Hiller, who exemplified and modeled how to live with simchas hachayim. So, thank you for all of our sponsors and again, we continue to daven. Everyone's invited to say afterwards Tehillim, חיה אסתר טילא בת אריה צפורה, all those who are ill, and now added to those Tehillim, our brothers and sisters in Israel. If you have not yet signed up for the WhatsApp groups, for the Emuna WhatsApp group or the other shiurim to be known what the shiur schedule is, or the link to watch live or later, or bonus material, or just to be part of a community of whatever shiur that is, go to RabbiEfraimGoldberg.org/WhatsApp, RabbiEfraimGoldberg.org/WhatsApp, and it would be an honor to be in the same group together with you. Okay, we're back in Biyom Derechecha. We're winding down this topic we've been learning about gadlus and katnus, the days of smallness and bigness, the days of distance and closeness. Sometimes we connect and we feel the presence of Hashem when all's going well, when all's going right, when we feel alive and we feel happy and we feel spiritual and we feel His divine presence and assistance. And other times we feel far away and we wonder where He is, and we wonder how we're supposed to endure and how we're supposed to get through and how we're supposed to make our way. There are different feelings and there are different moments, and we talked about why that is by design. We are a nivra, we are the created, and as created we feel both independent and dependent at the same time, and that's reflected in the yemei katnus and the yemei gadlus, that's reflected in the ups and downs. And we last left off last week, we spoke all about the fact that sometimes it's in the feeling of distance, sometimes it's davka when we feel far away that we have the best chance of getting close. It's when you hit that rock bottom that you have the biggest bounce. We left off, if you remember, with the bat. The bat sleeps upside down, can you raise AC? The bat sleeps upside down so it can let go and gravity makes it build momentum so that it could fly. And we too sometimes, the fact that we're falling, the fact that gravity, spiritual gravity, is making us fall, we can capture it, we can bottle it, and we can take that momentum and turn it into flight, we can turn that momentum into lift, we can use that fall, that distance, whether it's in our marriage, whether there was a challenge to our loyalty or our faithfulness or our trust or our honor or our kindness and we had some friction. We could take that friction and the friction can either further divide and set apart, or the friction can be the rock bottom from which we bounce so that we can begin to fly, we can begin to soar. And the same is true in our relationship with Hashem. The same is true in our relationship with ourselves. That being distance and far away, feeling like we're falling or we're struggling to connect with Him doesn't have to be the beginning of the end, a cop-out or an excuse to walk away, it can be the very catalyst, it could be the very thing that sets us in motion to be able to come close and to be able to draw closer. We're on page kuf-samech-hei. Now we can start. We're on page 165, kuf-samech-hei, the left hand column. אמנם ברור שגם בזמני הגדלות יש קניינים גדולים. Even in the days of gadlus, so now you'll say, well, I long for and I wish for and I wait for that fall. If it's true that the fall can give me the lift and the momentum to fly, so maybe I shouldn't be happy when I'm flying, I should want to fall so I can fly higher. Maybe it's not good when everything's going too well in my marriage, in my friendship, with myself, or with Hashem. Maybe I need to wait for that struggle or that tension because it's in the fall that I get the lift to fly. That's not true. כי הרי אז אדם זוכה להכיר בוראו יתברך מתוך תענוג ומתוך השגה. When we have clarity and when we have joy and when we have fulfillment and we have satisfaction, of course that's the ideal, that's the best. Of course that's the best. We shouldn't sabotage that. or compromise or corrupt that so that we can have a fall and get a bounce. Of course not. We had an extraordinary program last week, I don't remember if I spoke about it last week in the Emunah Shiur. We had an amazing program. The Forman family talked about it. I think I did. If you haven't yet watched it, shame on you, you should watch it because whether you are exposed to, involved in, struggling with addiction or not, there's something to learn and to grow for every single, every single person. So, you know, Alana who is the recovering addict described how she's more resilient and better and stronger now than she ever was. I don't think she would tell anybody go try drugs or alcohol, go become an addict. I don't think she would recommend go become an addict, because when you're an addict, when you bounce out of it, you'll discover more and you'll realize greater strength than you ever knew. She would never recommend it. It's an incredible TED talk which we have spoken about I'm sure in the past, Esther Perel, who is a Jewish woman, a famous psychologist, a big author and speaker. She has a TED talk with millions and millions of hits where she talks about infidelity. She says most people will be married more than once, the question is will it be to the same person or someone else? When you run into a wall and friction in marriage, there's a break or breach of trust in marriage, will you break through and reinvent your marriage? Will you be married to the same person more than once or somebody else more than once? And she talks about that unfaithfulness revealed something that was wrong that needed to be addressed or fixed and either it can be the thing that divides you or now you can address it and it'll bring you closer together than ever. And she gives hope. I've shared it unfortunately with many people who've needed it and needed to hear it. And she gives hope and optimism to people who've been in that horrible situation and it doesn't have to be the most egregious form of unfaithfulness or breach of trust, it can be the everyday tension that marriage has, feeling the other person didn't treat you kindly or nicely or fulfilled their promise to be there your partner. It doesn't have to be the ultimate breach, but did that reveal something broken that could be fixed and now you're better than ever? Why do I share that? Because at the very end she says, people often ask me, do I recommend someone should have an affair? Because then if her whole thesis is true, then what you can discover and how you can grow and what you could do to repair and recover, you'll be stronger than ever. And of course she says no, that's not the recommendation. So it's a perfect example of what we're talking about. Rav Itche Meyer is not saying have a spiritual fall. You know, break down, feel far away from Hashem, don't be connected to davening and learning and middos and so on. He's not suggesting that, he's not saying that of course not, of course not. That is not a method. There is what we gain and there's the positive of when we're flying high, but also know that even when we're lying low, there is something to extract from it and propel ourselves and get a bounce and a spring from it as well. זה עיקר רצון השם יתברך שיהיה לנו עמנו דבקות מתוך חיות והשגה. He wants us to be healthy and happy. He wants us to be functional. He wants us to be having the best of the relationship we can, but we need to know that even when we don't, and inevitably and invariably our lives are ups and downs, as we've now given this example many, many times. If your life is a straight line you're dead. It's the very ups and downs that are the evidence that there's life, there's life, the EKG of spiritual life. ולכן יש השני המצבים וכל אחד מהם בונה משהו אחר. So we have both existences. We are flying high and lying low. We have gadlus and katnus, panim v'achor. הקטנות בונה את האמונה. When you feel far away and distant and you're low to the ground, that builds emunah, תחושת הדבקות בכל מצב. It tells us we can connect, we can cling, we can glue, we can attach ourselves to Him no matter what, no matter where. I'm about to read something to you that is unbelievable. I'm going to read something to you that's going to blow your mind in a moment regarding this. ויוצרות תלות בהשם יתברך. And it creates a sense of connecting, hanging, relying, depending, looking, searching, longing, yearning, repairing to Hashem, all of those are incredible character traits. It's not a coincidence. I think Esther Perel references this, and certainly anyone who works in psychology or social work will tell you that it's often after friction in a marriage, could be unfaithfulness or could be friction, but it's often after the breakthrough that you have the greatest intimacy and closeness and connection, emotionally and otherwise, that it's davka after the repair and it's after the fix, and it's after the effort, and it's after the yearning and the longing that's renewed and restored that the distance created you feel a greater closeness and a greater intimacy and a greater longing in every which way it has manifest itself than you did before. So when everything was well and hunky-dory and it was good and you were so happy and you felt close, that's the goal, to be there. But you can't live there permanently. So when there is friction, doesn't have to be unfaithfulness, even friction, when there is friction, when you work out that friction... The bounce that comes afterwards from the recovery and from the repair and from the attention and from the drive and from the longing can lift you to an even closer place than ever. And that's true with *Hashem Yisbarach*, it's true with *Hashem Yisbarach*. The goal's to be in a good place, *davening* and learning and *middos* and spiritual drive and ambition, that's the goal. But you can't live there permanently. We have ups and downs. And it's a function not only of *Hashem*, it's a function of us and what's happening in our lives, of how well we slept, how well we feel, how well our children are behaving, how well things are flowing in our life, livelihood, *parnassah*, or longing for a *shidduch* for ourselves or our children or our grandchildren or children, whatever the case may be. We feel and we relate differently. But even when there's friction, *keviyachol* with *Hashem*, where are You? Why is this happening? I don't feel connected to You. If we work on it, if we lean into it, and we care enough to fix it and repair it, the resulting bounce, that connection, that closeness can be stronger and bigger than ever before. והגדלת התבוננות בהשגחת השם יתברך והתדבקות והתכללות בו יתברך בכל לב לחיות עמו מתוך התענוג. So there's something to extract and to gain from when we feel low and far, and there's something to extract and to gain from more living in that high. *L'sikum*, and therefore next page, *kuf samech vav*. *L'sikum*. ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. Amen. I love Dunkin'. The world, what's the slogan? The world runs on Dunkin'. But caffeinate with *kavanah* is a much better slogan. We got to find our cups, bring them back, caffeinate with *kavanah* is a much better slogan. With *kavanah*, *shehakol*, *Hashem*, everything, *shehakol*, everything's from You, everything is from You, even this cold. ואם כן למדנו להבין את יסודות מצבי הנפש והעבודה הנכונה בהם. So we've learned that a person, now here's something he hasn't said yet. And this is incredibly important. In order to know how to navigate this roller coaster called life, you need to have self-awareness. Self-awareness. A person has to be able to be aware and to be introspective and reflective and say, okay, how am I feeling? What's going on? What's going on in my body? What's going on in my soul? What's going on in my heart? What's going on in my mind? Where am I holding? Where am I holding? Because if all of life is a blur, if the days blur together and the weeks blur together and the months blur together and momentum's just carrying you on life and you're not actually present and thoughtful and you're not in touch with who you are and where you're at and how you feel, then you can't live your best life. To live our best lives is the capacity to disconnect, as what we just talked about in *Mesillas Yesharim*, the *shiur* before this one. To live our best lives, you have to have the ability to disconnect and to think and to be present and to practice what the *Ramchal* encourages many long beforehand and after him, but including him, the *Ramchal* encourages to live a life of *hisbodedus*. To set aside time daily, or at least regularly, to simply be present, to simply sit and think. Not competing for my time, for my attention, for my focus, just thinking. I'm just taking inventory. Taking inventory. There's a lot of new age science about this. You know, our body absorbs so much of how we feel. So if you want to know how you're feeling, I once listened to a whole podcast where, I forgot which, maybe it was Brené Brown? I forgot who it was being interviewed and she spoke about in the middle of a meeting, could be a business meeting, could be an awkward or difficult conversation you have to have with a friend or a family member, gauge how what's your how is your body, are you all tensed up in your this? Is your breathing shallow or deep? Are your muscles calm and relaxed? How are you feeling? Are you sweaty? Are you anxious? Are you relaxed? Our body is a great metric and measure, it's a great instrument to tell us how we're feeling. So you have to disconnect and practice *hisbodedus*, you have to have self-awareness and be introspective. Say, what am I feeling? Where am I? How am I doing? Where am I spiritually? Where am I emotionally? Where am I mentally? Where am I physically? And where am I relationship to Him? But if you never think about that and you never connect to that, and again, you're just on this hamster wheel, you're just running this rat race, momentum's just carrying you, the days are blending together, the weeks, the months are blending together, and the next thing you know, I don't know if you feel this way, a little news flash for you, apparently it's almost December. Yeah, so it occurred to me that because someone said something to me about, yeah, in 2023. I was like, what do you mean? That's a few years from now. 2023, what do you mean we'll do that then? We'll schedule that then? But that's a few years from now, why would we wait so long? And then I realized, wait, that's next year. That means this year is 2022. But I haven't gotten used to writing that on a check yet. I don't write checks, nobody writes checks anymore. Everybody knows every January you write the wrong year on a check for a whole month until but nobody writes checks anymore. So I don't know, you Venmo the wrong date? I don't know, it fills it in automatically. I don't know. Forms that you fill out, nobody does that stuff anymore. But how did it become? What do you mean it's the end of 2022? When did we stop 2021? When did we stop 2020? Didn't we just have Y2K? Everyone remember Y2K? Yes. The world was gonna collapse and implode and computers were gonna explode, cars were gonna stop working. We went to sleep that night not knowing what we'd find the next morning, Y2K. We found ourselves in the hospital. We have a daughter born, one of the first babies born of the new millennium, Atara, who does every she comes onto every scene with a with a bang. So but Y2K, you remember Y2K? So how did it get to 2023? In Y2K, if I would have said to you 2023, you would have thought of like an episode of the Jetsons. You would have said like what are you talking about? 2023? So how does that happen? Because life is just gotta get to the Emunah shiur, gotta carpool, I gotta cook it's almost Shabbos, I gotta call the thing, I gotta go to the place, I gotta take care of the I gotta get to work, I gotta pay the bill, I gotta Did you ever stop say what is this life about? Who am I, where am I holding, what do I want to achieve, who do I want to be, what difference do I want to make, what legacy do I want to leave, with whom do I want to spend time, what conversations do I want to have, what change do I want to affect and make? Who do I want to be? What's going on in my life? How did I get here, where am I going, where am I now? Do we ever have time for that or we're too busy getting confused what year it is? Are we too busy finding ourselves in December and we say what? It's the end of the year? December? What happened? That 2023's not scheduling something for next decade or next year, it's almost next week. How'd that happen? How'd that happen? So says Rav Itshmayer, says B'amudecha, you gotta stop and you gotta you gotta press pause. You gotta disconnect. You gotta connect, you gotta be. You gotta be. You could do that by yourself. If you're lucky, you're fortunate, you're blessed and we bless everyone who wants to be to be in a marriage, you could do it or should do it with your spouse, with your partner. Where are we? Who are we? What difference do we want to make? What kind of family do we want to raise? What legacy do we want to leave? Are we making enough time for we, for us? To schedule regularly time away and phones off and conversations you could have and it could be during the week. I've spoken about people who've inspired me, not inspired me enough to do it yet, but inspired me to think about doing it, that have a regular weekly meeting with their spouse at Starbucks. You turn your phone off, you come in and you could talk about things that need to be discussed, decisions that have to be made, but also just to check in. If you don't schedule the time, it won't happen. In the words of Greg McKeown, the author of one of my favorite books, Essentialism, if you don't prioritize your life, someone else will, something else will. If we don't prioritize our lives, something and someone else will. Whoever emails or texts us the most, whatever fills our inbox, whatever takes the most time, whoever screams the loudest, whatever wheel is squeakiest, that's what will prioritize our life if we don't. So says Rav Itshmayer, you gotta stop and you gotta focus, you gotta concentrate, you gotta feel, you gotta take stock. Who am I, where am I, what's going on? What matzav am I in? What's my matzav? What's in we're gonna launch a new Living with Emunah language. When we see each other people will ask how are you? Which no one really cares or no one really answers and it's just a horrible how you doing, great, never better, all good. We don't really mean it in the question, nobody really means their answer, we just get onto our agenda of whatever else we wanted to talk about. We don't really mean it. But what we should ask is what's your matzav? What matzav are you in? Gadlus or katnus? What's your matnas? What's your matzav? How's your soul? How's your soul? We don't ask that. We ask how you do but ask how's your soul? When's the last time you were in contact with your soul? Are you aware of your soul? Do you nourish your soul? Do you protect and care for your soul? Do you exercise your soul? Do you listen to your soul? Do you know you have a soul? Have you ever known yourself to have a soul? What's your matzav? What's your matzav? That's our new we're gonna make bumper stickers. What's your matzav? What's your matzav? What's the matzav? What's the matzav means are you in a period of gadlus or katnus? Are you connected or disconnected? Are you plugged in or plugged out? What's your matzav? Because how could you know what comes next if you don't know what's your matzav? How do you know where to go if you don't know where you are? I don't care Waze, Google Maps, MapQuest, how could you take directions of where to turn and where to go next if you don't know where you are? Have you ever had that? You're driving and maybe you were in a tunnel and then your phone all of a sudden says, you know, not connected to the satellite. And instead of the little icon that makes it realize it knows where it's going, you get the other like round circular icon that says I have no idea where you are. Right? So you're driving, you're going 70 miles an hour, but the map's not moving. I panic. I don't know where to turn next. Now the map knows exactly how to make the turns to get where you're meant to go, what's the problem? It doesn't know where you are. And if it doesn't know where you are, how could it know where to send you, where to turn, where to go next? How could you know if you don't know where you are? You know that feeling? Usually you yell at the person next to you. That's the safe way to do it. Or you try yourself. Or there's no one with you so you try yourself. And you try to, right, turn your phone off and on or you put it on airplane mode, then not airplane mode, you see if you can recover the satellite, you see quickly if you can figure out where you are because you need it to know where you are, why? Because it can't tell you where to go next if it doesn't know where you are. So how do we in life know where to go next if we don't know where we are? How do you know where to go next if you don't know what matzav you're in? How do you know what's next to work on, what's next to do, what's next to become if you don't know where you are? להבין את יסודות מצבי הנפש You also have to know what are the options. What are the different matzavim? What matzav? Gadlus, katnus, what matzav are you in? How's your matzav? How's your soul? How's your soul? וידיעה זו היא אחת מהדברים הנצרכים ביותר This is one of the things that you need more than anything. You have to know where you're at to know what to do next kedei l'hatzliach b'avoda. You ever go to the doctor you're trying to solve a problem? And the doctor says okay so you're presenting that you have this issue. But on a scale of one to ten how bad is the pain? If you say I don't know the doctor can't help you. The doctor has to know is it a three is it a nine is it an 11 on a scale of one to ten? Is it every kid it's always an 11. But is it an 11 or is it a three? Are you there because it's you know it's aggravating it's annoying I decided to finally take care of it but it's a three? Or the doctor needs to know is it an 11? How do they know what to do next to treat you if they don't know where you're at? So what's your matzav? Where are you spiritually? Eight or nine? Plugged in, connected, living high in emuna, feeling His presence every day, feeling His love, His guiding hand? Are you a three, a negative three? I don't know where He is, I haven't had a real conversation, I haven't let Him in, I'm angry on him. How do you know how to treat, how do you know where to go next if you don't know where you are? שצריך לדעת שמצד עצם מציאות יצירת האדם יש בו מושג של קטנות וגדלות רצוא ושוב You have running towards and running away. You have front and back. We have greatness and we have smallness. דהיינו יש מצב של חיות והשגה עליונה שזה נקרא גדלות We have moments that we're alive. You jump out of bed, there's a skip in your step, you run to greet the day. There's moments of alive. ואז יש רוממות והשגת אלוקות And then we feel exalted and elevated and enriched and empowered. We feel like Hashem, ah, You're with me everywhere. והאדם מרגיש שם יתברך בגילוי And you don't have to look, you don't have to search, and you don't need a magnifying glass, and you don't need a telescope. He's every, don't you see Him everywhere? Didn't you see Him in the iguana and the lizard and the sun? You walk outside and you're like wow a parking spot Hashem is amazing. Wow I feel the sun on my neck Hashem loves me. You have feelings of gadlus like He's just everywhere and everything you attribute to Him. And He's bulldozing a path for you. And all you want to do is talk to Him and sing to Him and sing with Him and you can't wait for the next kumzits and fabrengen and oneg and tish. You can't wait. הוא חי אותו מתוך תענוג And you have joy for life. ויש לו בהירות במציאות השם יתברך והשפעתו You have a clarity, a vision, you see clearly He's there. ויש מצב של קטנות But other times we're in a place of smallness. Other place... הזמן והמצב של חוסר הרגשת אלוקות I don't know what you're talking about, you're annoying, stop talking like that, get lost, I don't want to hang around you, you keep talking about God, I don't see Him, I don't feel Him, I don't know Him, I have no clarity about Him, I'm overwhelmed with doubt. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't feel like going to the shiur. I don't want to go to the event. I don't feel like going to the fabrengen, the tish, the oneg, the davening. v'lo me'ir l'adam, right? I was speaking to a group of women I know online, everyone listens, but in person for whatever reason it's a women's shiur. So I know women with shul on Shabbos morning. You're not obligated to go. You're not obligated. So it was one of the challenges of Corona, baruch Hashem many, most of you have bounced back, and it's wonderful to welcome you, it's great to have people back. But I know Corona created a new pattern, that if you could wake up Shabbos morning and take your time and savor getting out of bed and sip your coffee while reading your Mishpacha or whatever your drugs of choice on Shabbos morning. That why go to shul? Gotta get dressed, you gotta put yourself together, you gotta see people, you gotta talk to them, they want to talk to you, you have to get a seat. What if you don't like the chazzan? What if the rabbi's drasha is boring or way too long? You have to make an appearance at the kiddush. You could stay in your Shabbos robe and sip your coffee, read your magazine. You'll, you'll daven at home. You'll daven at home too. Purely hypothetical. Speaking. What if your husband's the one who gives the drasha and he says, come on, get to shul already. She's back Baruch Hashem. She was back right away. She was in Corona, seven masks, she was there, Baruch Hashem. I'm not talking about my wife. So in yemei gadlus you'll be like, what do you mean? I jump out of bed, I get dressed, I want to be there as early as possible. I savor every word of the siddur. I love the davening. It's amazing. I want to be at the kiddush. I want to see people. I want to sing the songs. Etz Chaim hi, we put the Torah away, oh, it changes my life. I want to be there for Ein Keloheinu, are you kidding me? I just want I'd get there as early as possible. That's yemei gadlus. Yemei katnus are I don't even know if I'm going to daven at home. Does it really matter? Does it make a difference? Does He really care? I'm not really focused. I don't really I'm davening while I'm setting the table, while I'm putting away the dishes from last night, while I'm yelling at the kids to wake up, while I'm not even dressed, while I'm on my 17th cup of coffee. So those are the different feelings that you have. There's a matzav of gadlus, there's a matzav of katnus. אדם לא מרגיש חיבור פנימי על כל החיצוניות. You don't feel connected to the trappings of Yiddishkeit. You don't feel like opening the siddur, the Tehillim, coming to shul, hearing the davening, going to the shiur. והמצב הזה של חוסר הרגשה וגילוי האור האלוקי and this second matzav of a feeling of not having connection, not having revelation of Hashem's light. אינו שייך לאדם דוקא אלא זה מהלך קבוע של סוגיית גלות אלוקית. It's not only true for mankind. Hashem's light in this world goes in and out. There are feelings of His presence being felt more intensely, and there are feelings of hiddenness. Sometimes He's more hidden, sometimes He's more intense. And the tachlis in matzav hazeh, so what do you do when He's more hidden? I was going to read to you but I think now I'll save it for next time. I'll tease you a little bit. Too bad, we'll catch you back next time. Our beloved Mordechai Judovits, Martin Judovits, Mr. Judovits, who was one of the pillars of our community, of our shul, who literally designed our shul, the Holocaust Memorial outside, was an extraordinary, extraordinary man. We had the tremendous zchus after his wife passed away, she was extraordinary in her own right, we hosted him almost every Shabbos. And Yocheved really took tremendous care, responsibility of him and setting him up with other people's homes and so on. He wrote several seforim, but he wrote a memoir. The memoir is called Holocaust and Rebirth. Like every survivor's memoir, it's well worth reading. We actually spoke about earlier Mesillas Yesharim also, the Ramchal says, if you want to grow spiritually, read biographies. Autobiographies, biographies. Don't read self-help books, don't read novels, don't read narishkeit. Read biographies. Because when we see other people, what they struggled, how they broke through, who they became, that is an incredible source of our own growth. So every Holocaust survivor, by definition, their stories are extraordinary. And they're amazingly moving. And I highly recommend them. So he has a chapter at the very end. It's essentially an addendum to his biography, his autobiography, and it's called, it's titled simply Emuna. It's titled faith. And he says, as a Holocaust survivor, I am often asked the following question: Do you still believe in God? You lost your parents, your entire family in the Holocaust for the sole reason they were Jewish, and you yourself endured enslavement by the Nazis because you were Jewish. Did that affect your belief in God? Do you ask yourself, why did God allow this to happen? And then he has five thoughts. Five reasons for why he continued to believe, to live, he didn't just believe and live. He lived and modeled incredible emuna and a rich, vibrant, dynamic Jewish life that helped create our Jewish life here. So next time I'll read to you, we'll look at those five thoughts. Thought one, thought two, he goes through five thoughts. We had his unveiling recently, and one of his sons read it at his unveiling and felt it best captured his legacy were the five thoughts his father had. So I listened through the tears and the sweat, it was during the summer at the cemetery at the unveiling, and I thought to myself as I often do, you know, we think we're having a bad day because the Wi-Fi was slow. Like God, where are You? How could I, I deserve so much better, how could You give me slow Wi-Fi? What do you mean the Wi-Fi's not working? How am I supposed to believe in You? How do I know You exist? What do you mean Trader Joe's no longer stocks my favorite... there's no God! What does it not have anymore? Vanilla ice cream. Vanilla ice cream. Everyone's got the thing Trader Joe's no longer has that is rocking their faith in God, shaking their basic emuna. So he's like I lost my parents, my siblings, my home. Town, my family, everything I ever knew, and here let me tell you five reasons I still lean in to a relationship with Him. And we're like, the Wi-Fi on the plane didn't work, I had a middle seat, I'm reexamining whether I want to be frum anymore. I'm exaggerating, but only slightly. The younger you go, the less it takes to rock your faith and to the extent of even walking away. The older you are, the more you can endure and it gives you greater faith. And it seems the younger we go, and this is a real reason to be afraid of our future, but it seems the younger you go the less it takes to go wrong to lose faith. And we have the ability to grab on to people like Mr. Chudovitz and these five thoughts which we'll start with next week in our yemei katnus, when we are in a place of smallness, when a place of darkness, a place of doubt. How can we grab on to these five thoughts to be able to lift ourselves up? Tonight we're going behind the Bima with Yishai Fleisher who is the spokesperson for Hevron. We'll talk about the rise of terror in Israel, we'll talk about Ben Gvir, he worked on his campaign. We talked about why should Israel spend all this money and risk the lives to protect a thousand Jews who live in Hevron, do we really need to be there? That'll be at 9 o'clock tonight. Rav Schechter's coming for Shabbos, it's going to be an amazing Shabbos here at Boca. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
