Transcript
Good morning, welcome back to Living with Emuna, our weekly study, a weekly effort, a weekly reminder, a weekly reinforcement that we are not here alone exploring and navigating this world, it’s not all up to us, we shouldn’t feel the anxiety and the pressure and the envy and the anger and the arrogance, but rather we should submit and surrender, recognize there is a Hashem, living with Emuna, you’re in my life, I’m so grateful for all the bracha and the blessings, none of it is random or chance and I turn to you and defer to you and submit to you and I protest and object but you’re by my side all the time. Want to thank our generous sponsors of the series for the year, Dr. Avi and Bella Morgen, who sponsored Living with Emuna in memory of an amazing example of Emuna, Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut zichrono livracha, as well as Bella’s mother, Dr. Ellen Schanzer aleha hashalom, thank you so much for that generous sponsorship. So we have been learning in BeYam Derechecha, Rav Itche Meyer Morgenstern, we have been focused on the midah of simcha, the quality of what it means to live with joy, to live with simcha. Why is it so important? Why are we so focused? Why have we spent months on this character trait, this quality of being besimcha, of living with happiness? After all, Rav Nachman of Breslov says מצוה גדולה להיות בשמחה תמיד. There’s a great mitzvah. Where is that mitzvah? It’s an interesting question. Is it counted as one of the taryag? Can you find it inside? Is it one of the 613? Where exactly is that mitzvah? But Rav Nachman says, perhaps it is the foundation, it is the underpinning of all mitzvos. If you’re not besimcha, if you don’t have a simchas hachaim, if you’re not happy and excited to be alive, if you’re not joyful and high energy, then how are you going to do mitzvos? How are you going to connect to Hashem or the people around you? How are you going to grow spiritually? So mitzva gedola, there is an enormous mitzvah, but it takes mindfulness and it takes intention, and that’s why we’ve been exploring: how do you define simcha? Simcha is when you feel whole. How do we feel whole when we’re incomplete? By attaching and latching on to the only whole, the source of wholeness, namely Hashem. What are the obstacles and the impediments? What brings us down and makes us depressed? We’ve been studying and navigating it all. And now Rav Itche Meyer has been walking us through hisorerus ruchniyus. Last week we left off with two important approaches, two methodologies to living more besimcha, to being happier, and then our happiness is contagious, it affects and it influences the people around us. Number one was the recognition that the neshama, simcha comes when we nourish our neshama. When our neshama is dehydrated, when our soul, when our spirit is malnourished and dehydrated, we’re sad, we’re depressed, we’re despondent, we’re low energy. And when we nourish our soul, we tap into our soul, when our soul comes alive, then we feel a joy and a happiness, everything makes sense, it all comes together, we can confidently believe and know it’s all for a reason and we could feel a sense of simcha. And number two, and maybe it should be in the opposite order, is mindfulness. When we’re present and conscientious and conscious and mindful, when we’re intentional with what we think, what we do, where we go, how we behave, then we can be besimcha. But if we allow ourselves to slip into the pattern of negativity, the pattern of complaining, the pattern of pessimism because we’re not intentional and mindful, then it’s easy to lose it. And that is what we are up to. V’hinei l’famim, continues Rav Itche Meyer, והנה לפעמים אדם מרגיש שמחה ושלווה בפנימיותו. Sometimes a person feels a spark of joy, a spark of happiness in their inner being mikoach hamachshavos hakedoshas. So a person has a beautiful shmoneh esrei, a person does an incredible gracious act of chessed, a person has a DMC, a deep meaningful conversation with someone they love, they trust, they know, or even with the Almighty himself, and they spark something inside them, they come alive, there’s something bigger, something more real, something most authentic, something selfless that makes them come alive. There’s a spark, a spark of joy, a spark of happiness, אבל זה לא מתפתח אצלו בהרגשה ממש. The problem is it’s short-lived, we have that, we have it in a deep sense, a meaningful sense, a spiritual sense, we attend a kumzitz, we hear a drasha, we have a conversation, we volunteer, we do an act of chessed, and we have a spark of joy, maybe we take pride, there’s nothing wrong with having pride, we helped someone, we made someone feel good, we feel meaning, we feel alive, the pride in that brings smile, get into the car with a smile in our face, maybe, maybe we overcome an obstacle or maybe we persevere through a struggle, or maybe there’s a pattern of behavior we’ve been trying to change and we changed it and we have pride, a little cracked smile in our face, it doesn’t manifest itself in this overwhelming joy, it doesn’t come out or express itself as this abundant simcha, no, we’re still struggling, we’re still dragging, but we tapped into, we touched into a spark, maybe it’s pride, maybe it’s accomplishment, maybe it’s a spiritual something that we came alive, that we achieved, maybe it’s a joke that we laughed at, a simcha that we danced at, there was something, but it expresses itself not fully developed, not fully within ourselves, we don’t have a skip in our step, we’re not fully alive, we’re not fully besimcha, there’s a spark, there’s a little spark. We laughed, we allowed ourselves to laugh, we allowed ourselves to be happy, we allowed ourselves to take pride, we allowed ourselves to have hope. צריך לדעת שהעיקר הוא השורש, says Rav Itchamayer, you have to know that the core here is the shorech, is the root. הרבה פעמים ההתחלה היא באופן נעלם. Sometimes the beginning starts with something which is hidden. So before it manifests in this huge smile and this joy, which is our goal and ambition, but it starts with a spark. It starts with a seed. It starts with something small, simcha pnimis. Now my friends, chevra, I have to tell you sometimes there are people who are so committed and devoted to not being happy that they extinguish that spark. The moment there's a hint, an allusion to happiness, the moment they're tempted to crack a smile or they begin to find themselves laughing, or they're filled with pride or a sense of achievement, or the neshama is being nourished or hydrated, they suppress it, they extinguish it, they silence it, because they're so committed to walking around and being the miserable, negative, pessimistic, complaining. That's who they think they are, who they think they're meant to be, how they think they're designed, that is how they think they're predisposed. But we have to do the exact opposite. Instead of extinguishing, instead of suppressing, we have to expand and nurture and take that seed or that spark, that little thing in our day. You know, the beginning of the day, you all know me, I harp on the morning, that cup of coffee. Ah, what a gift from Hashem. Caffeinate with kavana. I think we may start a website to finally send out some of our notebook, our Modeh Ani, thank you for a new day, turn the page, and our caffeinate with kavana and some other messages that we can create some merch with messages that can inspire our day. So caffeinate with kavana, that gift of a cup of coffee. Oh, you know, you could have a difficult day ahead, you could be coming off of, recovering from a difficult day behind you, and you're not happy. But you know what? You take a sip of that cup of coffee, you caffeinate with kavana, you make that bracha shehakol nihyah bidvaro. Everything: me, my life, my health, the ambiance, the environment, and all that went into that cup of coffee. Shehakol, everything, nihyah bidvaro, Hashem, thank you for that. And you know what? I'm going to drink that cup of coffee and I'm going to be mindful and present as I sip it. I'm going to take in the aroma, and I'm going to let the flavor roll on my tongue, and I'm going to imbibe the caffeine, which will make me come awake and come alive. For a moment I could say this is a geshmak cup of coffee. Now let's fast forward to the end of the day. I hope this is not too personal, but you know that feeling when you get into bed? A long day, you're exhausted, and you collapse, and you are absorbed into that mattress, and you feel, oh, it's geshmak. Hashem, thank you. Thank you for this day. Thank you for letting me get into it, into bed. Thank you for the gift of sleep and rejuvenation. So from the beginning of the day to the end of the day, there are moments, moments of happiness, sparks of joy. And they might not yet permeate and they may not out yet project themselves throughout the day. Doesn't mean that you're wide awake and fully alive and incredibly and entirely happy and besimcha. But there are those sparks, nurture them and bottle them. ואילו השמחה המתפשטת בכל האיברים השמחה המורגשת באופן חי תבוא אחר כך. That living skip in your step, eyes bright and wide open, laughter on your lips, that simcha will come later. That confidence, that emuna, that dveikus, that bitachon, that living life with faith and therefore with joy, simcha, it'll manifest, it'll express, it'll fully develop, it'll become external later. But it begins with the spark and it begins with nurturing the spark. And if you don't nurture the spark, it cannot come alive. You have to be able to recognize and appreciate and nurture that spark. Because if you deny and you suppress, if you extinguish that spark, it will never ever come out. So I'll tell you this amazing story, there was a drought, I think it was in California, years and years ago. Let's see if I could find this story. And finally there was a breakthrough, there was rain, years after the drought. And all of a sudden this incredible vegetation started to spread years and years later. Because why? What had happened? What had happened was before the drought, seeds were dropped in the ground and they lay dormant. And nobody saw them and nobody appreciated them, here they are. This is an article from a long time ago, 2017, five years ago. Some parts of the country cold weather is threatening crops, California's been unseasonably wet, this is five years ago. Deserts are experiencing what's called a super bloom. After years of drought, the normally arid desert is lush, just looks like a sea of flowers. Purple, red, yellow and blues, fantastic, you don't see this very often, little flowers look so delicate. How did this happen? How did this happen? So the article describes, how did it happen? Flowers in places they never sprouted, colors, growth at rates that never happened, six inches of rain came in the winter. And here's the quote, you ready? Some of these seeds have been underground for maybe decades, if not a century or more, we just don't know. Some of these places have not seen water in ten, fifteen, twenty years. And now they're a blanket of flowers. They are survivors. You have to be tough in the desert, that's for sure. And these are and these are an ephemeral resource. So what you're looking at today could be gone tomorrow, depends on how wet how we get today and how hungry the caterpillars get. An amazing article. So basically the idea is there are seeds, there are seeds, and you have to leave that seed in the ground and allow whenever that rain will come, who knows what will enable and sprout and nurture that emunah to burst forth so that we can feel besimcha. This is true within ourselves, those seeds, the seeds of a great drasha, a great emunah shiur, a great article, a great moment, a great song, a great simcha you attended. It plants a seed and maybe the seed doesn't yet sprout. It's underground, it's covered, it's dehydrated, it's not nourished, it doesn't get the sunlight and it doesn't get the rain it needs, but you never know. As long as you leave the seed there, you never know when the rain will come and you never know when you're going to have a super bloom of simcha in life. So therefore Rav Itche Meir says, the shoresh, the nekuda, when there is that seed planted of simcha, don't take it out and throw it out and don't deprive it, but rather allow it to sit and even if it's dormant ultimately it will come alive and it will produce a super bloom of simcha when it gets the rain it needs. So that is first of all. There's a little moments throughout our day. And this is, I can't recommend it strongly enough. If you apply Rav Itche Meir's first suggestion, if we live with mindfulness then we recognize during our day little micro moments of simcha. Good cup of coffee, a good conversation, a hug, the pride someone took in you, the smile you put on someone's face, the closing of the sefer after a daf yomi, a finish of an exercise, the recognition of the bracha in our life, there are micro moments of simcha. So I may not fully feel besimcha, maybe we're enduring challenges or struggles or hardships in life, maybe we're going through a difficult tekufa, a difficult chapter, but do not deny yourself or deprive yourself the micro moments of simcha because they plant seeds and when the time is right and ripe then when the rain of Torah will come there'll be a super bloom of simcha. So if we want the super bloom of simcha later, we have to allow and receive and plant the seeds of simcha. So take the moment with intention and mindfulness through the day and mark the micro moments of simcha. The little moments. You found a parking spot right where you needed to be after circling. Smile. You laughed, you heard a funny joke. Smile. The micro moments of simcha. ולכן צריך לחפש בעיקר השורש שהוא נקודת השמחה בפנימיות המחשבה. We have to find that shoresh, that nekuda, find that little seed. im zocha la-zeh and if you merit this, the seed that says, you know in this moment I have a premonition everything's going to be okay. I feel the presence of Hashem. I'm willing to submit and surrender to Him. I tapped into something a little bit through that song, through that interaction, through that selfless act. ואם זוכה לזה להרגיש שמחה בפנימיות. And if you merit this to feel simcha, inner simcha, inner simcha, not external simcha, not simcha induced by some substance, but an inner simcha. שמחה בהשם יתברך ובאמונה בו. A simcha that this all makes sense, there's a bigger world, I'm part of something more, even while this is hard or difficult or challenging. A simcha b'pnimiyus. A vort on the parsha, a thought or an original idea I had, a davening, a kedusha which stirred the soul, a moment of chesed, of giving. אפילו אם עדיין מרגיש עצוב. Even if you still feel sad, zeh beseder, it's okay. כי אפילו מחשבה דקה מן הדקה. Even a very minute, difficult, small thought. tispashet achar kach. As long as there's a spark it could spread a wildfire. Just like a seed could turn into a super bloom, so too a spark can become an engulfing all-encompassing fire. Keep that spark alive. Let the fan flame the spark. עד שתהיה לו שלמות השמחה בעזרת השם יתברך. It's okay. You're sad, you're down, you're despondent. It's okay. It's a difficult time. It's okay. Find the micro moments. Don't be the type of person who won't allow yourself. There are people going through hard times, I know and love them, they won't allow themselves to smile. They won't allow themselves to laugh. They won't allow themselves a micro moment of joy. We have to allow ourselves. It doesn't it doesn't deny the sadness and it's not offensive, it's not in denial of the person that we care about to also be able to feel a sense of simcha. We need simcha to be alive. We need simcha to have the strength to face and overcome whatever we need to endure. So even when we're not ready to yet be fully expressed in simcha, even when we're not yet to fully feel a happiness, we're still sad and challenged and struggling, allow the micro moments, allow those little sparks. ולכן אסור לבזות שום מדריגה. So don't dismiss and don't diminish when someone says, didn't you laugh before and I saw that smile? Oh it's nothing, it was a little smile, I didn't mean to, the lo, I didn't mean to, it's gone, it's stupid, it's foolish. Don't diminish. So don't dismiss and don't diminish those little micro moments. Leha'arich kol mashehu, grab onto every seed and fan every spark, כי עיקר הקדושה תלוי במדרגות הראשונות, cause that holiness climbing that ladder, fanning that flame, experiencing or starting that super bloom, it begins, it starts with the spark, it starts with the seed, hapnimiyus, the inner, the authentic, the real, the genuine, ואחר כך מתפשטת ומתגלית בשאר המדרגות, then it can spread and then can express and then it can develop within ourselves. So Rav Itchamayer is giving us advice, when you're besimcha, you got great news, you celebrated a simcha, you won the lottery, something good happened, you feel spiritually alive and nurtured, so then it's easy to be besimcha. But what about the moments in between? What about the difficult times of struggle? What about when we're not feeling it? How can we rise to it? By finding and capturing and by nurturing and by spreading those micro moments, those sparks. And now we have the opposite, והנה אף ששמחה היא דבר פנימי, the most authentic, the most real simcha is the inner simcha, that inner spark, that inner seed, that inner contact with the divine. That's really what it is. Why is it when you do a moment of chesed, when someone says thank you, you really helped me, when you put a smile on someone's face, when you tapped into the bigger, most meaningful, most authentic part of who you are, when you express that sense that we're here of service and a mission for other, why is it that that brings a sense of simcha? Because we're tapping into eternity, because we're tapping into the infinite, we're tapping into the divine, the divine in us. There's a חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש in every one of us. There is a piece and a spark of God in us. And when we pursue the physical pleasure, when we think we're going to become happy because we shop or we eat or we experiment and we think that's happiness, it's fleeting, it doesn't last, because while there's an animal sense of self and the animal enjoys that pleasure, it's a temporary, temporal, fleeting pleasure of the here and now. The most authentic, the most genuine, the most lasting, the most permanent pleasure is when we touch and we tap into not the animal soul, the nefesh, but the neshama, the חלק אלוקה ממעל ממש, the godliness in us, the divine in us. When do we tap into the divine in us? When we live with discipline. Discipline is divine. When we live with devotion. Devotion is divine. And when we live with helping other people, when we're able to be selfless instead of selfish, we're able to extend outside of ourselves, we're able to answer to a higher power and live for something bigger than ourselves, then we've tapped into the divine and so one can't help but feel a sense of simcha. You feel alive, you feel nurtured, you feel joyous. מכל מקום לפעמים צריך להשתמש בחיצוניות. But while that's the most authentic, sometimes, sometimes we use the external happiness and joy כדי לפתוח את השמחה בלב, to open up the simcha of the heart. So if you do the things that make you smile, then you'll be happy and then you'll be able to be open to feel and to see Hashem. If you're able to laugh and you're able to smile, we use the body sometimes as a shortcut, על ידי מעשים המביאים לשמחה ניגון משמח וריקוד וכדומה. So you use the power of music, use the power of dance, use the power of laughter, of a joke, use the power of good food in order to be able to open the soul to feel simcha. So we can distract or we can almost bribe the body, which then enables the soul to flourish, to fly, to thrive, to feel simcha. And this is why, he doesn't reference this, but the Talmud often does, the Gemara Chazal tell us when the rabbis would achieve something spiritually they would prepare an egla tilsa, they would prepare a fine delicacy. On Shavuos, even though other yamim tovim there's a debate, do we devote them, do we dedicate them to Hashem or to ourselves, kuli alma modu, everybody agrees, everybody agrees that when it comes to Shavuos, on the day the Torah was given, you need at least chetzi lachem. We have to indulge ourselves. Why? Because in order for the soul to thrive, we have to indulge the body. So that's why we make a siyum. You think you finished a masechta, you finished learning piece of Talmud, your soul is now on fire and nourished. Why you having food? You should be able to fast, you should be able to live on a high of the soul. Why do you need to, why do you need to reward the body? The answer is you always see this notion of a siyum, whenever there's a siyum, whenever there's a spiritual completion, a spiritual achievement, a spiritual growth, you indulge the body, because when the body is happy, now the soul can thrive, now the soul can break through. When the body is happy, the soul is able to express itself. So sometimes it's through the chitzoniyus. And we'll pick up and continue with this next time, that sometimes we have to distract the body or bribe the body or reward the body. So we use the physical. We use the physical through a smile or through laughter, through music or through a dance, החינוך דאחרי המעשים נמשכים הלבבות. Same famous principle of the Sefer HaChinuch. Again, we'll begin with this next time. But in Yiddish, with the eating comes the appetite. We sometimes think wait till you're hungry then you'll eat, but it turns out that when you start eating all of a sudden you find you have an appetite. Acharei halevavos, אחרי המעשים נמשכים הלבבות, acharei hape'ulos, after the actions, we do the pe'ulos, ma'asim, when we take action, then the heart, the motivation follows. So similarly when we make ourselves smile, when we make ourselves laugh, then we're going to feel happy. We've mentioned before that the science supports this. We'll pick up with this next time. Join us tonight for Behind the Bima. Thank you for indulging only being online. We're back to in-person im yirtzeh Hashem next week. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
