Transcript
Okay, good morning, Boker tov, and good chodesh to all. Great to be back in person. Please help yourself to some coffee and granola bars in the back. As always, we're grateful to our sponsors for the Emunah series for the year, generously sponsored by Dr. Zvi and Bella Morgan in memory of Dr. Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Shanzer. Very grateful to them for their generosity. This morning's shiur is also sponsored by Kayli and David Haskell for the Refuah Sheleimah of אסתר תהילה בת אדל צפורה. And I'll use it as an opportunity to remind everyone, if you've not yet signed up for the one-on-one campaign, dollar day of giving to tzedakah, minute a day of learning Torah, you can join easily by going to brsonline.org/1and1, one the number one and one, brsonline.org/1and1. You can join both the dollar day for tzedakah, minute a day of Torah learning in your WhatsApp for some brilliant, beautiful insights and divrei Torah. And we could do it in the merit of Esty and the others, all who need a speedy, complete and painless Refuah Sheleimah. Okay, we are Be'amdechah, we are learning Rav Itche Meir Morgenstern. We finished one section but we're still on the topic of simcha. We have a little bit left on the area of simcha because there's always more work to be done in the area of simcha. We're never done on the area of simcha. So we're in Darchei Kinyan HaSimcha, page Kuf Samech Beis, 162. כל אחד יכול להיכנס לשמחה בהשם יתברך. Every one of us, every person, every one is capable of feeling, of entering a place of simcha with Hashem. ואפילו כאשר אדם בזמן קושי, even if you're going through a difficult time, a difficult circumstance, even when all is not flowing freely, it's not simple, life is not comfortable, even when one is enduring challenges and struggles, הוא יכול וצריך להיכנס לזה. That doesn't have to prevent or block us from being able to enter a mindset and a place of happiness and of joy. I've given you and I could give you more examples of people who in the hardest and worst of circumstances, nevertheless persevered, endured, and remained determined that they would not allow their environment or their circumstance to decide their demeanor, their mentality, and therefore their quality of life, but they remained determined to be in control, to be disciplined, to not give it away, but to hold onto it, ulesameach es atzmo, and to make ourselves happy. As we've said countless times over the last many months, we've been studying about simcha. Simcha, joy, is not an emotion, it is a decision. It is the way we wake up in the morning, it's the way we go to sleep at night. That doesn't mean that there aren't many things that try to rob us of our simcha, there aren't many things that try to deplete us, that don't try to challenge us. I'm not suggesting it's easy to be besimcha in a doctor's office when you're waiting for a result. It's easy to be besimcha, certainly you should not be besimcha, person who is sitting shiva, mourning or grieving. There are of course outlying circumstances where we're not besimcha in that moment, but the default of our life should be that no matter what's happening. We're moving to a new apartment, it's stressful. We can't find a new apartment to move to, it's extremely stressful. We have whatever other challenge going on in our life, it's stressful. It's anxiety ridden. Have to pack the kids at night, it's very late. Sheva Brachos are ending. You have to wake up, someone has to wake up at 3:00 in the morning to drive them to the airport. It's stressful. This is hypothetical, purely hypothetical. It's very stressful. So what? Therefore what? Be robbed of your happiness and your joy and your simchas hachaim? Have no patience, be snapping at each other, be miserable, be sad, be pessimistic, be negative, be hypercritical? Is that going to help? It's not going to make the night go any longer. It won't make you feel more well rested. It won't make the apartment listing come up or be available to you. It won't mean you don't have to pack and move. All it does is compound our problems and our challenges and it leaves us with so little energy. Sadness and pessimism and negativity depletes us of energy. And happiness and joy and smiles, they energize us. They give us what we need in order to be able to get through to the other side of whatever challenge that we're facing. So says Rav Itche Meir, says Rav Yitzchak Meir, כאשר אדם בזמן קושי when you're in a difficult time, יכול וצריך להיכנס לזה. That's when most. It's easy to be happy when you're dancing at your simcha. It's easy to be happy if you heard you won the lottery. It's easy to be happy when all is going well. It's easy to be happy when the dangerous doctor report turns out to be a big nothing. It's easy to have a skip in your step when things are going well. But when it's zman koshi, when it's a challenging time, that's what really reveals our character, that's what reveals who we are. Can we be determined and can we maintain the decision to be happy no matter what's going on? Vehaderech lehagia lesimcha, how do we get there? How do we do it? And again, I say this each time as well, that somebody, we're not talking about clinical depression, anxiety, that needs to be treated. So how do we do it Bekoach hitorerut haneshama? The answer is that our sense of simcha, simcha is the compass through which you can calibrate or measure how your emunah, how your neshama is doing. People with a great simchas hachayim have a healthy neshama and people who are sad and depressed and anxious, the neshama is challenged. Why is it that the neshama, the measure? כי העצבות היא חזקת הקליפה. Sadness is when the klipah, the sitra achra, he's employing here cabalistic terms, cabalistic themes, the notion of the klipah, klipah means the shell, the fruit inside, the shell, the exterior on the outside, klipah, if you learn Tanya, you study much about klipas nogah and klipah, klipah are the forces or the energies that cause us to struggle, that try to confuse, that try to distract. They are the voice of self-sabotage. So one of the biggest influences or impacts of that klipah of that negative energy or shell is atzvus, sadness, sadness. When you're down, when you're out, we all know that feeling. Many had it during Corona because it was overwhelming and you just couldn't get yourself started in the day. And even when there was time and there was no excuse, it was still hard to start because there was just the general sadness. It's the impact and the influence of the klipah. ועל ידי חיזוק כח הרוחני שבאדם הוא נכנס לשמחה. So like every yetzer hara that confronts us, we have to overcome it, we have to overwhelm it, we have to combat it, and we have to fight it with a sense of simcha, which comes from being determined. You have to be determined. Nobody wants to exercise, nobody wants to necessarily daven, nobody wants to wake up in the morning, nobody wants to eat right. All the things in life that are best for us, which include eating right and exercise, a healthy life and a healthy lifestyle, which include being patient, not angry, never raising our voice or lashing out, but communicating, all the things we're fighting, we have to fight our instinct and intuition. Our nature and natural inclination is to lash out or is to eat unhealthy or is to be lethargic and to stay in bed or to not move around. We have to fight that, it takes determination to fight that. At least it does for me. There are those weird people that it comes naturally to exercise and eat right and never raise their voice, they're weird and obnoxious people, miserable to have around. But you have to overcome that misery and be determined that despite them, despite how easy it is for them, the you and we are going to be determined. Nichnas lesimcha, we're going to enter a place and a mindset of happiness. It's a choice, it's not an emotion. We're going to be determined, we're going to be determined. ולכן מיד כאשר הנפש הבהמית נכנסת לעצבות. So the animal inside us, it's that same place. It's the, the Baal HaTanya talks about as do many others, again, the dual worlds we live in simultaneously. There's the animal soul, Hakadosh Baruch Hu made us like an animal, He fashioned us like an animal. There's the nefesh, which is our lower soul that we share in common with an animal. We have an instinct and an impulse and a drive and temptation. But above that we have a neshama and there's the nefesh, the lowly animal soul in us that acts like an animal, thinks like an animal, that behaves like an animal, lives like an animal. But above it we have the neshama that says, don't be an animal, don't live in a pigsty, don't eat like an animal, don't act like an animal, don't be a nefesh, be a neshama, be a neshama. What's your neshama? A neshama is חלק אלוקי ממעל ממש. It's the Rebbe's yahrzeit this Shabbos, חלק אלוקי ממעל ממש. There's a piece of God literally inside each and every one of us and that piece of God inside each and every one of us says, you got this. That piece of God inside us says you got this, you can do this. How does God know we can do this? Why does He have faith in us? Because there's a piece of Him in us. He designed us, He gave us our genetics not only from our parents and grandparents who empowered us and enabled us to get it because they got it and got a lot more than what we have to confront, but there's a piece of God. Among the DNA that we have from our own parents and grandparents, we have the DNA of the Almighty Himself. We are חלק אלוקי ממעל ממש and that means that we have the strength, we can do it. We've got this. If we are determined and we make the decision to be besimcha, we can have that simchas hachayim, have that simchas hachayim. So the same voice inside us that says eat that, sleep in, yell and lash out, be impatient, that voice comes from the nefesh habahamis, that comes from the animal lower soul, it's the animal in us, it's the lowliness in us, it's the base and crude in us. But we have something much more. Is that the soul, is that all that we want to be? I have to tell you, you look around this world and you're increasingly seeing as much progress and advance that we have technologically, as much progress and advance that we have medically, as much as the world is rapidly, acceleratedly moving forward in so many ways, we are regressing and moving backwards when it comes to the soul, when it comes to morality. The world around us increasingly is not nourishing and expressing its godly soul, a quest and a yearning for holiness, but rather the definition of life is all about happiness. As Jews we don't live for happiness. We live for holiness. When you live for holiness, you end up being very happy. When you live for happiness, you're unholy and unhappy. But the world around us is thinks the sole determinant measure: dress, act, define, do, go, whatever makes you happy. Whatever makes you happy. Its relationship to the truth doesn't matter. Its relationship to to striving for something more or greater doesn't matter. A relationship to what God wants or expects doesn't matter. The world around us is increasingly becoming a place of nefesh, which means that even more we have to fight to not be nefesh, but to be neshamah. Even more we have to fight to be neshamah in a world that is nefesh. ולכן בעת אשר נפש הבהמית נכנס לעצבות when that lower animal soul inside us is trying to drag us down and make us sad and unhappy and pessimistic and critical, צריך תיכף מיד להיכנס בכוח לשמחה. We have to immediately with determination and with strength and perseverance, we have to enter a place of simcha. No animal soul, I'm not giving in. I'm not giving in to you. I'm not giving in to that voice because I know how miserable it feels on the other end of it. I know how I feel after I act out. I know how I feel after I disappoint myself and others. I know how I feel when I'm not the best version of myself. So I'm not listening, I'm not indulging, but I'm determined Bekoach Hasimcha. וזה על ידי אדם נכנס לעסק התורה הקדושה. So how do you get there? It's very simple. There's an anchor in our life. It's called Torah. It's called Torah. The message, the messaging, Torah. Study of Torah, the living of Torah, a passionate, enthusiastic, energized, ongoing conversation with Hashem. זמירות ותשבחות ושיר להשם יתברך. I don't know how you could live Besimcha if you don't have music playing in your house all the time. We have speakers in our house. The only battle is who gets to determine the playlist. People have it on their phones and there's a battle who's got the best playlist. But other than the three weeks in Sefirah, there's music playing 24/6 in our home. You walk into the house, there's music that greets you. On your way out of the house, there's music that escorts you out. You're having dinner, you're cooking, you're doing homework, you're preparing, you're folding laundry, there's music that's playing. I'm proud and several shuls have told me they've imitated and copied. When you walk up to the Boca Raton Synagogue, there's music playing. There's music playing. You're going to walk through that threshold, you're going to cross those doors to come and have a conversation with Hashem, you can't do it when you're sad or miserable or running or rushing. You've got to do it with a skip in your step. You've got to do it with a little Tanz, with a little dance. We should have some dancing in the lobby before and after davening. You've got to have a little skip in your step, you've got to have a little dance. When you wake up and you've got a skip in your step, when you have a simcha, you could take on whatever you have to confront that day. But when you're slow and you're dragging and you're down and you're out, you can't take on the simplest of tasks. When you're out of it and you've got nothing left in the tank, you can't so much as fold the laundry, make a cup of coffee. But when you wake up with a sense of simcha with a smile on your face, you slept two and a half hours, no problem. It's not a problem. Take on the day. Pass out at some point in it, but take on the day. I got it. So how do you do that? Torah. It can't be a day that goes by that there's Torah that doesn't ground us and center us and remind us what matters, what's important, who's in charge, who's in control. You've got to nourish the best of us, otherwise you're not alive. You ever have a point in the day of a given day where you're dragging, you're tired, you can't concentrate and then you realize I haven't eaten anything today? So of course I'm out of it because the body needs nourishment in order to have energy. So if you didn't eat anything, you didn't drink anything, I think there's all kinds of studies how absolutely dehydrated we are today. We don't drink nearly what we need to and we're all walking around, we're a nation that is dehydrated. So when you're dehydrated, you're dizzy, you're distracted, you're unfocused and you realize I've got to drink a couple things of water. I've got to eat something, hopefully healthy, in order to be able to have the nourishment. What are the recipes that nourish us spiritually? Torah, Tefilla, תורה עבודה וגמילות חסדים. Those are the three pillars the world exists on. Those are the three sources of nourishment for us. Torah. You're sitting here today, you're listening to an Emuna shiur. Yesterday there was a Parsha shiur. Forget me, there are a billion shiurim online you could listen to in any language at any hour of the day. You could watch, you could listen. Torah nourishes us. A geshmaak d'var Torah, a great insight, something you hear that says, ah, ah, that reminds me, that calibrates, I'm back. Tefilla, Avodah, davening. I lose myself and Torah grounds me. It reminds me of my priorities, it calibrates my compass. It is an exercise in humility. I'm not in charge, I'm not in control, I'm not meant to be an animal. I don't live for happiness, I live for holiness. Good, now I'm reminded. And we're pathetic, so we need to be reminded. We start our day, so we set out our day, then we interrupt our day with Mincha, and then we end our day reflecting on the day. You could do it once a month, you could do it once a year, but we need much more in order to be because we forget between Shacharis and Mincha. We forget between Mincha and Maariv. We forget between Maariv and by the time we daven Shacharis, we forgot there was a God. We forgot that we're responsible to Him. We forgot that we live for holiness, not happiness. So we daven three times a day in order to remind ourselves. And Gemilus Chasadim. You want to feel alive? Nothing makes you feel as alive as when you give and do for others. Have you ever been there for someone? Have you ever been there? Have you helped? And no matter how tired you are, you find energy. You're alive. It makes us feel alive. Not getting, but giving makes us feel alive. You know, when you come home from the mall because you went to buy things because you thought you'd take care of your misery by shopping, so you may have some new things, but first of all, when the credit card bill comes, you'll be more miserable, not less. And second of all, it wears off very quickly. When you put the shoes in your closet next to the other 400 pair, your misery returns very quickly. But if instead of going to the mall to buy something for yourself, you bought a gift for someone who no one ever thinks of, someone who feels invisible, somebody who's shut in, somebody who feels ignored, and you bought them something for no reason at all. Instead of coming home and lining your closet, you brought someone something to put in theirs, that's a positive feeling that will last forever. You will be energized and you'll feel fantastic. These are the three things that nourish our soul. Not the animal soul. What nourishes the animal soul? The Cape Cod potato chips. That's what nourishes the animal soul and other such delicious things. And it nourishes the animal soul, it feels good in the moment and it quickly is gone, not from your hips or waistline, but from the pleasure that you had from it. But what nourishes not the nefesh but the neshama, it's there forever. Ul'zmiros utishbachos, music. Put on music in the car, put on music in the house, put on music with whatever you're doing. Silence is sadness. Music, a little something. V'hisbodedus, and comfort in our own skin to be in conversation with Hashem. I posted recently that if you never talk to God outside of shul, you won't be able to talk to him inside it. If you never talk to God without the siddur, you'll never be able to talk to him with it. Anyone who struggles with davening, the struggle begins not once you get in shul and open the siddur, the struggle is because you never talk to him outside of shul without the siddur. The siddur is the fallback. Our rabbis, Anshei Knesses HaGedola, instituted davening because they said, you know what's going to happen? Life is busy, life gets in the way, you're not going to have time, make time, you're never going to come daven. So we've got to ensure that you daven, so we'll institutionalize it three times a day and here is the template, here are the words. But that's not the real deal. The real deal are the conversations we have in between, in between the siddur, in between shul. Do you talk to him in the car, in the kitchen, in the boardroom, in the operating room? Do we talk to him about everything going on in our life? Beforehand ask him for help, afterwards thank him, object or protest if there's something we feel that's going wrong. התבודדות ושיחה לקל חי כי בעצם העסק ברוחניות האדם יוצא מעצבות. By engaging and involving ourselves in spirituality, by nourishing the soul, is how we are able to rise out and above sadness. Sadness. We're sad when we think all there is is the here and now. We're sad when we think all there is is today. We're sad when we think all there is is my body. But the moment we realize I am a soul that has a body, who I am eternally is my soul, is my חלק אלוק ממעל ממש. That's the real me is my soul. When we live with and I feel that sense of my soul, when I nourish that soul, I support that soul, I indulge the soul, not the body. That is how we rise out of sadness. That is how we rise out of sadness when we caffeinate with kavana. I think we're going to do a merch store. ברוך אתה ה' אלוהינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו. Amen. I'll tell you why because we're finally producing our notebooks. Alana here today? I don't see her. But Alana, our amazing designer, everybody should use her for whatever projects you need, Simchas or company, corporate, business. But Alana Landau. So we're producing our notebooks. On the cover, Modeh Ani, thank you for the new day, turn the page. So that every day, Daf Chadash, every day a new page. A new page. So yesterday I was sad. Yesterday I didn't live up to this potential. Yesterday I was down and out. Yesterday I starved my soul because I was too busy indulging the body. No problem. Turn the page. Daf Chadash. It's a new page. Modeh Ani. Hashem thank you that I have a new day. I was thinking this morning and I don't know how it is that I'm 47 years old and I never thought about this before. But Rosh Chodesh, today is Rosh Chodesh. Yes! For the first time in my life I thought Rosh Chodesh is Rosh Chadash. It's a new mindset. Every new month, every Rosh Chodesh is a Rosh Chadash. You have the opportunity. Whatever my mindset was last month, whatever friction or tension was in my life last month, maybe a spouse or children, a friend or my job, whatever challenge, whatever attitude, whatever sadness or negativity was last month, it's Rosh Chodesh, it's a Rosh Chadash. Put on a new head, a new kappie, a new start, a new mindset, a new outlook. It's a Rosh Chodesh, it's a Rosh Chadash, it's a Daf Chadash. Turn the page. Every day you wake up. You could turn the page in the middle of the day. You don't have to wait to go to sleep and wake up to turn the page. You're allowed to turn the page in the middle of the day. But every day turn the page. It's a new start. The challenges, the problems of yesterday, we do not have to take them into today. They do not have to come with us wherever we go. There are some challenges we wish we could let go of but they follow us. It's not the challenge that we're letting go of, those we're not in control of. Often, bless you. We're often not in control of the challenge that follows us. What we are in control of is how we react, how we feel, how we deal with it. And that we can change. That we can change. So what's the answer? says Rav Itche Meir. It's all about the soul. When you ignore and neglect the soul, when the soul's malnourished and dehydrated, it can't help but feel sadness. It can't help but give out. It can't help but be anxious. But when the soul is nourished and the soul comes alive and the soul is vibrant, the soul is dynamic, and the soul, when we know we have a soul, when we nourish it and it's healthy, it's energized, then we can make the decision and the determination to be be'simcha. Rosh Chodesh, chevre, it's Rosh Chodesh. It's a Rosh Chadash. It's a Rosh, whatever was holding you back, whatever you were imprisoning yourself, whatever negativity was pushing away those around you, it's Rosh Chodesh, it's a Rosh Chadash. It's a new day. It's a Daf Chadash, it's a new month. Put on that smile and nourish that soul and yotzei mei'ha'atzvus climb up and out of that sadness. כוח עצום לעורר שמחה הוא כוח המחשבה. So number two, os bais. The strength that we have, so I started telling you, we're going to be able to caffeinate with kavana and our notebook, Daf Chadash, turn the page, and our tumbler, and our behind the bimah hats. Going to get rich. It's going to be amazing. Going to retire. Retire off of our merch. If we break even I'll be happy. Not looking to retire. כוח עצום לעורר שמחה הוא כוח המחשבה. The strength that we have and that we need in order to feel joy, simcha, simchas hachayim, is the koach hamachshava. Is our thoughtfulness, is our mindfulness, is our mindfulness. De'hainu. By the way, simchas hachayim, being joyful and happy, being able to live with a smile, being determined that no matter what, no matter what, I'm just not going to let that rob me or deplete me of my joy for life. That is an incredibly attractive quality. If you want to be attractive to others, you want to be attractive to the person who you care the most to be attractive to, simchas hachayim. Simchas hachayim, so much better than Botox, it's better than plastic surgery, it's better than makeup artists, it's better than, it's better than anything. Simchas hachayim is an enormously and incredibly attractive quality. A smile and a joy for life because you know what ends up happening? When you're happy and you're joyful, you don't lift yourself, you lift everyone around you. It's infectious and it's contagious. So when you're the beneficiary of being around a happy person and you find yourself now more happy, happier as a result, you're attracted and you're drawn to the person who brought out the happiness in you. You'll be a more attractive friend to your friends, a more attractive spouse, a parent who's more admired and loved. And if you're in shidduchim, if you, you should want to have a simchas hachayim. You should want to... Put that on the top of your resume. Forget what seminary you went to, what yeshiva you're learning in, just write in big bold letters on the top of the resume, I have simchas hachayim. Here are my references, they'll tell you I have simchas hachayim. Here's the picture, it'll testify I have simchas hachayim. I have simchas hachayim. And when you're calling to ask questions, don't ask the narishkeit and silliness, say, do they have a simchas hachayim? Are they an anxious, depressed, miserable, negative, verbissen person, or do they have a smile? Are they joyful? Are they generally, again, I'm not asking, are they singing and dancing at their grandfather's funeral? But generally speaking, is there a simchas hachayim? Generally speaking, is there a joy for life? So how do we achieve that? What do we need for that? Says Yerucham Mayer, machshava, mindfulness, mindfulness. להתבונן ולשמוח במציאות השם יתברך ויחודו וטובו, simcha b'elokus. You see, if we're not able to control our mind and center our thoughts, if we're not present and conscientious and conscious in our day, then we'll go to the worst place in our heads and our minds. We'll just be drawn there and dragged there. We'll just find ourselves there in the worst place with the worst thoughts. How do we overcome it and how do we navigate it? Is when we have a mindfulness, when we're in control of it. We control our thoughts. We have the capacity for mindfulness and we choose to focus on the fact that I don't live in a world of randomness and chance. I don't have to worry and I shouldn't be down and out and I shouldn't be negative and I shouldn't be sad, because everything that happens is for a reason. Everything that happens is organized and orchestrated, it's curated and choreographed from above. It's all from Hashem. So be besimcha, along for the ride, see what happens next. ובכך אני חלק אלוה ממעל בן אהובו של השם יתברך שאוהב אותי ללא גבול. I'm Hashem's child, I'm a son or a daughter and he loves me. He loves me with no limits. He loves me in a boundless way. Uvo boteiach libi, and he trusts, I trust him, he trusts in me. I'm Hashem's child. He has an unconditional love for me. He has expectations of me, but he loves me, he wants what's best for me, he's rooting for me, he's protecting me. So why shouldn't I be besimcha? Why wouldn't I be besimcha? ובכוח המחשבות האלו יכנס עוד ועוד לאמונה ואהבה ודביקות השם יתברך ובזה יזכה לשמחה. It's possible, continuing my hypothetical situation, that one of those children going to camp who was being driven to the airport in the middle of the night, was concerned, abba, we're late, we're running late, what's it going to be? And we're going to miss and everyone's going to be there before. And it's possible that abba said to her hypothetically, would I let you be late? Would I let you miss this flight? Would I let you be the last one there so everyone's waiting and it's uncomfortable? I'm your abba. I've got your back. Just sit in the passenger seat, come along for the ride. I'm going to get you there on time. You're good to go. I'm your father. I love you and I've got you covered and it's going to all be fine. Vekach hava, and that was exactly what happened. That was exactly what happened, Baruch Hashem. If we, lo bassar vadom, if we human beings who don't control everything, because chas veshalom God forbid there was an accident or traffic or something happened that was wrong, got a flat tire, and then we were late and then the hypothetical person missed their flight or was embarrassed, then no matter how hard abba tried, abba failed. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't fail. He's our abba. He's abba. He's our tati. He's our father. He doesn't fail. He doesn't fail. And what he says to us is, relax, I got your back. I told this child, you'll be packed and you'll be ready, you do your part and I'll get you there. You have to do, I can't, I can't wake, I can't get you out of bed, I'm not getting you dressed. You have to do what you need to do, but if you do what you need to do, I will get you there. Hashem says the same thing to us. You've got to do what you need to do. Get up, get dressed, get at 'em. You do what you need to do and I'll get you there. I'm the pilot, sit in the passenger seat, you do what you need to do and I'm going to get you there. Hashem says to us exactly what we say to our children, just relax, don't worry. I got your back, stick with me, dveikus, devek, glue, stick with me. I've told you countless times, the Meshech Chochma, Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk, that that dveikus, what does it mean to cling to God? Dveikus, what does it mean? Dveikus is devek. In modern Hebrew means glue. Hashem says stick with me. Just stick with me. You do what you need to do, you get up, you get dressed, you get ready, and then I'll drive. I'm the pilot. I'll take you where you need to be. I'll take you where you need to go. And God, more than I, says don't worry, because I am completely in control. Uvkoach hamachshavos haelu, and when a person has that mindfulness, person is determined to think in that way, ובכוח המחשבות האלו יכנס עוד ועוד לאמונה ואהבה ודביקות השם יתברך, it's going to compound itself. The more that we train ourselves to think in that way, you can be besimcha. And this is what I said to this kid, put in your AirPods, listen to something, be happy. I've told you, you don't have to think about it, you don't have to worry. Don't spend one more moment. moment, don't spend one more morsel of energy. I got it. Now you can be b'simcha because I'm worrying, because I've got it, I'm driving. Just let go and let God. If we let go and let God, if we sit in that passenger seat and we say 'I've done everything I could and should, I've taken my initiative, I've done what I need to,' Hashem says 'Great, now be b'simcha because you've done everything, come along for the ride.' Live life curious for what Hashem has next in store for us. When you're curious, you're b'simcha. When you're worried and anxious, you're miserable to be around. So it's our decision: which do you want to be? Curious? I'm so curious. We flew back last week—my Liora, the kallah, is waking up early, I'm so proud of her, she's here—we flew back on Friday morning. It's pretty gutsy, arguably foolish, with what's going on with flights these days and the cancellations and the challenges, but what could you do? The wedding baruch Hashem was Wednesday night, gotta give the other side one sheva brachos Thursday night. We came back Friday morning. So many things could have gone wrong because many people on different flights, and we could have all ended up here with a whole Shabbos sheva brachos planned, but a choson and kallah who got stuck in New York. There were a lot of things that could have gone wrong, and there were a lot of people anxious and worrying about it. But you know what? We did what we needed to do. Booked our flights, we planned to the earliest flight of the day, the least likely to be cancelled. Now you just be curious. So you could either spend the entire two weeks leading up to the wedding and flying back anxious and nervous and worried and miserable, or you could say 'Hashem, I'm so curious! I can't wait to find out how this works out! So exciting! Such an exciting chapter! I can't wait to wake up that Friday morning and find out, what did You have in plan? What was in store?' My parents' flight from Florida to New York for the wedding was cancelled. But baruch Hashem they were able to get on a different flight, different airline. It was a great adventure that they had. I feel better it was them, I would have preferred it to be me who had to do that adventure. But you could either have the attitude that life is an adventure—Hashem, You're taking us on an adventure through life, and I'm so curious what You have next. Curious: do I make the... how does the... what's the next chapter of the book? I can't wait to find out how the story ends. Did I make the flight? Did I have to go on a new flight? Do we have to drive and figure out an altogether different plan? I'm so curious! You could live life with a sense of curiosity to the mystery that is Hashem, but the knowledge that however it ends is the way it was meant to be and for our best. That's why you can be curious: because it's for your best. I'm so curious how it ends. Or you could be anxious and miserable and worried, and then you've just lost all the blessing that you have, all the blessing that you have. That choice is entirely up to us. How do we want to live? Who do we want to be? What do we want the quality of our life to be? We could have that simchas hachayim, we could have that sense of simcha. So the two points today Rav Itcha Meyer taught us is that number one, number one, it comes from nourishing the neshama. Our sense of simcha is directly proportional to how healthy our neshama is. If we spend our life and our day nourishing and nurturing and indulging the body and neglecting the neshama, we're going to be miserable. We're going to be sad. Again, this is a world we're living in today. I'll end by telling you this is fascinating. Israel broke the top ten in the UN's Happiness Index of happiest countries in the world. Surrounded by enemies, people firing rockets, indiscriminately stabbing people in the street, and they're one of the top happiest countries in the world. America, America so far advanced in every measure, prosperous in every measure, even during a recession, more prosperous than almost any other country in the world, is low down on the list. And so are so many other Western countries. Why? Why? I think part of it—you know, if you're in Israel, you are born knowing that you have to be of service to the people. You're going to go into an army or Sherut Leumi or you're sitting and learning Torah and contributing to the world in that way. But you're raised, even the most secular person in Israel is raised knowing that there's a Jewish people, they're worth fighting for and protecting, they're worth putting your life on the line for. And then when you hit 17 years old, you're going to put your life on hold, you're not going to college, you're not joining a fraternity, you're not partying like all your peers. Instead, you're going to be doing shmira, putting your life on the line. When you live life being of service and giving and doing, then you find happiness. And when you live in a world that says 'Now, you don't have to do Sherut Leumi, no army, you don't have to sit and learn Torah, go party and have fun, go experiment and experience, go indulge,' you have misery. Misery. Unhappiness. When you live life for you, you're unhappy and miserable. When you live life for a purpose and for a mission and to be of service, then you find happiness. You find happiness. The answer's all around us, not only in our ancient tradition, the answer is around us empirically and measurably. We see it. So when you live life and you wake up in the morning, you say 'Hashem, I'm here for You, I'm on a mission...' How can I be happy today? And you're going to be so miserable. The statistics bear this truth. The antidepressants in this country, they're all-time record highs. And the solution is not only pharmaceutical. For many it is and that's important and it's 100% legitimate. But it's much more. It's a mindset. I've appealed to people in elected positions that I know that this country desperately needs introduced some sense of service, of service. Maybe you get tax credit, maybe you get college reduction if you spend part of a year a year in service, a Sheirut Leumi, a national service. We have to raise young people and we can do it within our own community, we can't control the laws of the land, but we do in our own community. That notion of being of service. It's not only about do I have the latest iPhone and I got my license, can I have my own Beamer now? And when can I go to the mall and buy the next clothing and when do I get the next sushi platter? But what are you doing for others? What are we doing for the community? To raise our children. Some are going to do by sitting and learning. By being anchors of Torah learning. Some are going to do by volunteering. There's countless ways that we can. But are we modeling and are we demanding of our young people, you want them to be happy in life then teach them from the start that the source of happiness is not getting, it's giving. It's being of service. It's doing. It's fulfilling Hashem's will for us. It's giving him nachas ruach. It's making Hashem proud. Nothing makes you happier. Again I already told you my age today, but I'm closing in on that half-century mark. I got a little while to go. I still think I'm in my early 40s. But there's still nothing more joyful in the world after Yocheved telling me that it was a great drasha than when my mother or father say you give us nachas. There's nothing better in the world. That's right. Nothing better in the world. It's an amazing feeling. My grandson who's not yet three says Zeida, do I give you nachas? Aryeh, you give me nachas. It's the sweetest sweetest delicious thing in the world. There's nothing better in the world when your parent, no matter what age you are, says you give me nachas. Wow, that's amazing. That's Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom's, Lord and Taylor, Macy's, Bloomingdale's combined. You give me nachas. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says you give me nachas. Say wow, what a feeling. If we give Hashem nachas it's the best feeling in the world. So that's how we measure our day. You want to be b'simcha, make choices and live a life that you're giving him nachas, not you nachas. Giving him nachas. That's our mission. So number one was nourish the neshama, don't just indulge the body. And number two was mindfulness. Don't let life happen to you. Be mindful and intentional and conscious and present and thoughtful of bringing Hashem back into our day and when we do psh, simcha, simchas hachayim, simchas hachayim. A little coffee helps with the simchas hachayim, gives you a little joy. Caffeinate with kavana. It's Rosh Chodesh. Everyone put on your Rosh Chodesh. Put on your new head, your new mind, your new mindset, your new attitude. Put on that smile. Turn up that music. Wishing everyone a day that's filled with simcha. Tonight we go Behind the Bima with Dovid Safier and Yehuda Geber, two great Jewish historians, young guys, write articles every week for Mishpacha and have a tremendous podcast. Fantastic conversation, 9 p.m. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy. Amen.
