Transcript
Boker tov and good morning to everyone. Welcome. Those who are live in person, those who are watching as we stream live, those who are listening later, it is wonderful to be together and to have the opportunity and privilege to learn together. פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach which appears in the Artscroll Stone חומש Chumash on page 170. A special thank you. We always begin with gratitude and a gratitude to our sponsors for the פרשה Parsha series for the year, our dear friends Becky and Avi Katz, in loving memory of Becky's father, David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת דוד בן מנחם מענדל l'ilui nishmas Dovid ben Menachem Mendel. This morning's shiur is also sponsored by Yosef Kaplan in honor of the יארצייט yahrtzeit of שלמה מנחם אריה בן יצחק הכהן Shlomo Menachem Aryeh ben Yitzchak HaKohen Kaplan, dedicated in honor of my grandmother Rose Goldberg, whose יארצייט yahrtzeit was this past שבת Shabbos, רחל לאה בת דוד שלום דוד Rochel Leah bas Dovid Shalom Dovid, and in commemoration of the fourth יארצייט yahrtzeit of Briana Kaiser, may her נשמה neshama have an עלייה aliyah from her husband, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I have to say, first of all, I knew Briana Kaiser, her נשמה neshama should have an עלייה aliyah, growing up in Teaneck. Her son Oren was a classmate of mine and a good friend of mine. And her daughter sent me a picture this week, they were going through her house and they found a picture from my חומש Chumash party when I was in I guess first grade. And I looked at it and I thought of myself there holding the חומש Chumash, nobody, not my parents, not my first grade teacher, nor I, when I was holding that חומש Chumash in first grade, thought I would one day be giving a פרשה שיעור Parsha shiur. So it is quite a picture. But thank you to the Kaiser family and her נשמה neshama should have an עלייה aliyah as well.And as I said, we have the privilege of part learning פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. Page 170. וישלח יעקב מלאכים לפניו אל עשו אחיו ארצה שעיר שדה אדום Vayishlach Yaakov malachim lefanav el Eisav achiv artza Seir sdei Edom. Lavan has run, he fled from his brother Eisav after taking the ברכות brachos, two weeks ago. Last week he does well for himself. Again, for us it was one week, for him it was 20 years. 20 years felt like one week for us. But he put in his time. He worked hard, and he earned the hands of both Rochel and Leah in marriage. He became a father to many, many children. And now it's time, it's time to try to reconcile, it's time to try to reunite with his brother, with Eisav. And he sends ahead, וישלח יעקב מלאכים לפניו Vayishlach Yaakov malachim lefanav, he sends angels ahead. And here רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe has a comment on the introduction to the פרשה parsha I want to bring to your attention. It appears in the שיעורי חומש Shiurei Chumash of רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe. And he quotes the רמב\"ן Ramban. הקדמת הרמב\"ן לפרשה Haktamas haRamban laParsha. This is the introduction to the פרשה parsha by the רמב\"ן Ramban, by Nachmanides, who writes, נכתבה הפרשה הזאת להודיע כי הציל השם את עבדו וגאלו מיד חזק ממנו וישלח מלאך ויצילהו Nichtava haParsha hazos l'hodia, ki hitzil Hashem es avdo v'goalo miyad chazak mimenu, vayishlach malach v'yatzileihu. This פרשה parsha is for us. Now we know that, every פרשה parsha is for us. Every פרשה parsha inspires and elevates, every פרשה parsha invigorates, every פרשה parsha gives us courage and strength, every פרשה parsha is a perspective for that week. That's why the title of our class, of our שיעור shiur, is פרשה Parsha Perspectives, because we believe nothing is random. We read a פרשה parsha, whatever we're going through, whatever message we need to hear, individually, collectively, as a people is in that פרשה parsha. Says the רמב\"ן Ramban, his introduction to the פרשה parsha, that this פרשה parsha was written להודיע l'hodia, to inform, to tell us that השם Hashem saved his loyal servant יעקב Yaakov and redeemed him from that which is from the one who was stronger. וללמדנו עוד שלא בטח בצדקתו והשתדל בהצלה בכל יכלתו U'lelamdeinu od shelo batach b'tzidkaso, v'hishtadel b'hatzala b'chol yecholto. And this is to teach us. What is the lesson of the פרשה parsha? If you had to walk away, you came home, in one sentence you had to summarize, what is the theme, what is the essence, what is the lesson of פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach? Says the רמב\"ן Ramban, not that יעקב Yaakov put his faith in השם Hashem, though certainly he did. The פרשה parsha is about יעקב Yaakov. יעקב Yaakov is a man of incredible faith, of profound faith. יעקב Yaakov trusts that השם Hashem will guide him through everything and bring him home safely, but that's not the key lesson. The key takeaway says the רמב\"ן Ramban is שלא בטח בצדקתו shelo batach b'tzidkaso, that he didn't trust or rely on his righteousness. השתדל Hishtadel, he took initiative, he was proactive, he made an effort, בהצלה b'hatzala, in saving himself, בכל יכלתו b'chol yecholto, in all that he could. Writes רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe, השתדלות זו היא השתדלות בדרך הטבע Hishtadlus zu hi hishtadlus b'derech hateva. We live in a world, we live in a natural order. השם Hashem deposited us in this physical, material world, in a world which is explained by science and medicine and nature, and he wants us to operate within that world, he wants us to operate within those rules. He wants us to take an effort, to make initiative, to be proactive. We're not meant to be passive spectators to our own life. We're not meant to sit back and wait for him to rescue us. We're not meant to wait and rely on a miracle. And that is the lesson of פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. Is that yes, does יעקב Yaakov put his trust and faith in God? Absolutely. Is תפילה tefillah, his prayer, one of the threefold preparations he makes for this attempted reconciliation? Absolutely. But simultaneously, alongside prayer and faith, אמונה emunah. Tomorrow morning, every Wednesday morning, living with אמונה emunah. Every Wednesday morning we spend time reinvigorating and working out our אמונה emunah muscle so that we have an אמונה emunah instinct, an אמונה emunah impulse and we react and we experience the world through the filter of אמונה emunah. Of course, we must work on our אמונה emunah. We have to see השם Hashem everywhere and lean on him and rely on him. However, never at the expense of our own effort, our own initiative. Sometimes the pendulum swings too far where we use אמונה emunah as a cop-out. We use בטחון bitachon, trust in השם Hashem, as an excuse. I'm not going to give it all my all. I'm not going to take an initiative. I'm not going to make an effort. I'm not going to be proactive. I'm not going to be the main character in bringing about my own redemption because there's a השם Hashem in the world, let him do it. That's the lesson of פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach, says the רמב\"ן Ramban. The רמב\"ן Ramban. Says the רמב\"ן Ramban, the great commentator, the רמב\"ן Ramban, that the lesson is that יעקב Yaakov did not rely on his righteousness. He did not sit back as a passive spectator. He got involved. האבות הקדושים שמרו את כללי הטבע Ha'avos hakdoshim shomru es klalei hateva. Our great patriarchs and matriarchs, they didn't live some righteous life transcendent or removed from the natural order, but rather they lived and they operated within it. שמירת כללי הטבע היא עבודה שלמה. כי אם אדם מכיר שכן רצון השם, עליו להשתדל בסוף הטבע כפי יכולתו, להציל את עצמו Shmiras klalei hateva hi avodah shleima. Ki im adam makir shekein ratzon Hashem, alav l'hishtadel b'sof hateva k'fi yecholto, l'hatzil es atzmo. If a person recognized, a person knows, a person sees that God created nature, that nature also is part of השם's Hashem's plan for this world, then we have to operate within it. So in other words, you can't eat unhealthy, live unhealthy, practice unhealthy policies about health, and then think that you're going to be healthy. השם's Hashem's going to take care of me. I learn a lot. It's okay, I say a lot of תהלים Tehillim. I דאווען daven a lot. So I eat like a חזיר chazer, and I eat amounts, and I eat foods and I eat at times which are going to clog my arteries and are going to give me diabetes and are going to kill me. I'm not going to get vaccinated and use a miracle God has given us. I'm not going to protect myself and ensure my health, my safety. I don't need to wear a seatbelt. Seatbelt? Who wears a seatbelt? You must not have no trust or faith in השם Hashem if you wear a seatbelt. Why would you wear a seatbelt? The answer is because השם Hashem, moron, wants you to wear a seatbelt. Excuse me, I'm sorry. The answer is, הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu said, I invented the seatbelt. I invented the brakes of the car, too. You're not going to use the brakes? השם Hashem says I invented medicines and healthy food and healthy living, I invented a natural order, a natural life. And one is not inferior, one is not less than the אבות avos if we feel that we engage in the natural world and the gifts of השם Hashem how to operate within it. We are the true ambassadors, we are the true inheritors of a legacy because our אבות avos, as we see in פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach, that יעקב Yaakov doesn't sit back and say, \"השם Hashem, I don't need a seatbelt. Let me go reunite with עשו Eisav and I'm going to trust, I'm going to rely on my righteousness. I believe in you, whatever's meant to be is going to happen. If it's meant to go peacefully and well, I'll walk away. If it's meant for him to kill me on the spot, he'll kill me, but השם Hashem I trust.\" No. יעקב Yaakov says, \"I'm going to meet with an evil, wicked person who last time we spoke said I'm going to kill you. So I would be a fool not to take him seriously. There's a natural order and a natural world, and we have to take our own initiative and not be passive spectators.\" אם כן, יתכן שהעבודה בטבע נסיונות קשות יותר מעבודה בתורה. כי כשאדם משתדל בדרכים שנקרא בטבע, הדרך הוא שאדם מצליח במה שמיד בא הניסיון של כוחי ועוצם ידי. מה שאין כן בתורה, שם מרגישים שבלי סיעתא דשמיא, אי אפשר לעמוד ולא בדבר קטן ומידה Im kein, yitachen she'ha'avodah b'teva nisyonos kashos yoser mei'avodah b'Torah. Ki k'she'adam mishtadel b'drachim she'nikra b'teva, haderech hu she'adam matzliach b'mah she'miyad ba ha'nisayon shel kochi v'otzem yadi. Ma she'ein kein ba'Torah, sham margishim she'bli siyatta d'Shmaya, ee efshar la'amod v'lo b'davar katan u'midah. Says רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe, an amazing insight, building on this רמב\"ן Ramban. He says, living and operating in a world of nature is harder than living and operating in a spiritual dimension. Why? Because when you put all your faith and trust in השם Hashem and something works out, you say, \"Wow, השם Hashem, you're amazing. השם Hashem you were there for me. השם Hashem you answered my prayers. השם Hashem you made it work out.\" But when you operate through the natural order, let's say you work hard to earn a living, and you close a bunch of deals, or you bring in a big profit, you came up with a great business, you're an entrepreneur and innovative and creative and you do well, you say, \"Never mind, השם Hashem, I got it covered. Thanks. I'm good to go. I'm a genius, and I work hard, and I'm creative, and I've got charisma, and I know how to negotiate. Thanks, I'm good to go, I got it.\" When we operate in that natural world, we are much more vulnerable and susceptible to mistakenly conclude that we are responsible for our success. That's the danger. ובזה הניסיון של יושבי ארץ ישראל, במדבר הקדוש ברוך הוא ענן הכבוד U'v'zeh ha'nisayon she'yoshvei Eretz Yisrael, b'midbar hakadosh baruch hu anan ha'kavod. In the desert, we lived entirely under God's miraculous providence. So God said you're thirsty, here's a well that travels with you. I got a water fountain. There's a seltzer machine, it's unbelievable. You go to the אוהל ohel of the רב Rebbe, the אוהל ohel, in Queens, of the רב Rebbe, they've got these machines there. You put a cup, whatever you want. Coffee, tea, seltzer, soda, water. Those things are, that's what I picture was in the מדבר midbar. One of those machines. You walked up to those machines, whatever you were thirsty for. Diet Peach Snapple, done. You want a nice hot cup of tea, good to go. Seltzer, very bubbly, delicious, carbonated, fresh, you're good to go. So in the מדבר midbar, you were thirsty, we had a traveling machine. You were hungry, the מן mon tasted like anything you want. Can you imagine the שלום בית shalom bayis? She could have מילכיגס milchigs, he could have פליישיגס fleishigs, they could sit at the same table, they're both eating the מן mon, it tastes like whatever you want, you don't even have to fight over it. Security, protection, you don't have to fight over who's in the army, who should be in the army, who's not serving in the army, who wants to be in the army, does the army really need that, you don't have to fight. The ענני הכבוד ananei hakavod, the clouds were protecting. Says רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe, the desert, השם Hashem took care. So guess what, we knew we were under His divine protection. We submitted, surrendered to Him, we felt it. But then we get into ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael, and now we're going to plow and plant and harvest, now we're going to build an army and a police force, and we run that great risk of thinking, you know who's responsible for a success in Israel? It's our military prowess. It's our ingenuity and creativity. ניסיון קדוש יש בזה, שכן אתה מוטל עליהם להשתדל בדרכי השתדלות, ולראות בזה רק משום שכך הוא רצון השם Nisayon kadosh yesh b'zeh, she'kein atah mutal aleihem l'hishtadel b'darchei hishtadlus, v'lisros b'zeh rak mishum she'kach hu ratzon Hashem. But this is what השם Hashem wants. He wants us to engage in that challenge, he wants us to rise to that occasion, he wants us to see Him even when it feels like it's us. So all this is by way of introduction, but I think a very important introduction of רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe. That when we read פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach, and we're not going to rehash, ברוך השם baruch Hashem, there are people who listen to previous years. Every week I say, if you want to know more, you can listen to the previous year. There are people who take me up on that offer. Then they say, you know, you said that last year. Be careful. So now you live in a world. I always say, I'm the biggest environmentalist on the planet. I love recycling. I believe in recycling. But anyway, people don't appreciate it. So we try to say new things, but previously we spoke about, the גמרא Gemara tells us that רבי Rebbe, רבי יהודה הנשיא Rebbi Yehuda HaNasi, before he would go in to meet with his Roman contemporary, he would read פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. The Jewish people before we went to war would read פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. The threefold, three-pronged strategy before we encounter, before we engage our enemy, before we confront the one who seeks our demise, we need gifts, we need to prepare for war, and we need prayer. That formula has existed since יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu, and that formula continues to serve us until this very day. But one of the messages, that's why I wanted to begin with this, that it's critically important in our time. And the pendulum can't swing too far in either direction. Again, this is what we talk about on Wednesday mornings in Living with אמונה Emunah, but a person shouldn't do too much initiative, too much effort. You can't work 16, 18 hours a day. If God wants you to be a millionaire, he can make you a millionaire in 8, 10, 11 hours a day. When you work 14, 16 hours a day, at the neglect of your health, at the neglect of your family, at the neglect of your נשמה neshama, then it's excessive השתדלות hishtadlus. You can't have excessive initiative. On the other hand, you can't say, \"I'm going to work an hour a day. Tim Ferriss, the four-hour workweek. I'm going to work four hours a week because I believe in השם Hashem and I believe in Tim Ferriss. So four hours a week I'm going to work, and the money's going to flow in.\" השם Hashem says that's not excessive initiative, that's absurdly little initiative. In the world we live in, the natural order, you can't work four hours a week and make a living. Certainly not if you have to pay day school tuitions. It's just an impossibility. So we have to find that, that sweet, happy medium. We have to be able to thread that needle to know not too little, just like the three bears, not too little initiative, and not too much initiative. Just the right recipe, just the right mixture of initiative and faith. Too much faith is a cop-out. You have to take some initiative. Too much initiative is a failure, a lack of faith. Show a little bit of אמונה emunah, show a little bit of בטחון bitachon. And that is a message of פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. The fact that we meld the two, that we find, we're trying to synthesize a life that has both, is not because we are less than the אבות avos, it is because we are the progeny of the אבות avos. To truly be living the life and legacy of the אבות ואימהות avos and imahos is to try to combine the two. Okay. פרק ל\"ב, פסוק ה' Perek Lamed Beis, Pasuk Hey. Moving along. Next פסוק pasuk. ויצום לאמר, כה תאמרון לאדני לעשו, כה אמר עבדך יעקב, עם לבן גרתי ואחר עד עתה Vayitzavem leimor, 'Koh somrun l'adoni l'Eisav, koh amar avd'cha Yaakov, im Lavan garti v'echar ad ata. Here's the message. Yaakov sends messengers ahead, he says, \"Go meet my brother. I want you to scout it out. Come back, a little intelligence gathering. I want you a scouting report for me. What's my brother? Is he open-minded? Is he open? Is he available? Is he, is he even receptive to this? What am I going to find when I meet my brother?\" But here's what I want you to tell him. Tell him, עם לבן גרתי ואחר עד עתה Im Lavan garti v'echar ad ata. I was living with Lavan and that's what took me until now. I know it's been 20 years. 20 years ago we had a fight. Now, Yaakov had a good excuse, there was no WhatsApp, no FaceTime, there was no text messaging or email. But 20 years. You hurt your brother. You stole his ברכה bracha, from his perception, from his vantage point, you really hurt him. You really injured him, you harmed him. And you waited 20 years? So the very first message Yaakov wants to get across is, \"I would have been here a lot sooner if it were up to me. אחר עד עתה Achar ad ata, I was living with Lavan. עם לבן גרתי Im Lavan garti.\" And let me tell you, that was no picnic. I was living with Lavan, the biggest manipulator, the biggest cheat, the biggest thief in the world. So believe me, I would have been here sooner. But רב מנחם מענדל Rav Menachem Mendel of Kossov in his אהבת שלום Ahavas Shalom, thank you to my dear buddy Rabbi Meir Zol for sharing this insight, עד עתה ad ata, it took me עד עתה ad ata, until now, says, אם כי גרתי בבית לבן עשרים שנה, לא נגרע חשיבותי בעיניו, אלא כאילו באתי זה עתה im ki garti b'veis Lavan esrim shana, lo nigra chashivusi b'einav, ela k'ilu bati zeh ata. He says even though I was living for 20 years with Lavan, לא נגרע חשיבותי בעיניו lo nigra chashivusi b'einav, his, his חשיבות chashivus did not diminish in my eyes, אלא כאילו באתי זה עתה ela k'ilu bati zeh ata, as if right now, as if right now I arrived. עד עתה Ad ata doesn't mean until now, but as if עתה ata, as if right now. He says, \"עם לבן גרתי Im Lavan garti, I lived with Lavan.\" And רש\"י Rashi tells us, the famous רש\"י Rashi, עם לבן גרתי, עם לבן הרשע גרתי, ותרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Im Lavan garti, im Lavan harasha garti, v'taryag mitzvos shamarti. But even though I was living with him, I was living among the worst peer pressure, I was living in the worst culture, I was living in the worst surrounding, the worst environment, but I didn't compromise an iota. I kept my convictions, I observed my מצוות mitzvos, ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים v'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im, I didn't learn from any of his wickedness. I observed everything, I didn't learn at all from his wickedness. Now this we did share previously, disclaimer, we shared this previously. But it's worth repeating. What does it mean, ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים v'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im? I didn't learn from him. Is יעקב Yaakov showing off to his brother? Why would עשו Eisav want to hear this? \"Okay, righteous brother, you were only, always holier than thou, and you're still holier than thou. When I last left you, you sat in the בית מדרש beis medrish, you learned all the time, you were the teacher's pet, you were Mom's favorite, you were the holier than thou. And now you're sending me messengers to say, 'Just want to let you know, still holier than thou. Just want to let you know, I lived with Lavan, didn't compromise an iota. תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti.' Just want to let you know, I'm not showing off, I'm not flexing, but just want to let you know, I'm perfect. Just want to let you know, תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti, I kept it all, I observed it all, I observed it all.\" Why would he flex? Where the young people would say, this is a T4. Getting a lot of blank looks. T4 is a therefore. Meaning, therefore what? תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti. Uh, okay. Why do I care? So, there's a beautiful insight. לא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים Lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im. יעקב Yaakov wasn't flexing. יעקב Yaakov was not showing off, and יעקב Yaakov was not trying to shove it in עשו's Eisav's face. יעקב Yaakov was actually speaking negatively about himself. יעקב Yaakov was actually regretful. He says, לא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים Lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im. It's true I kept מצוות mitzvos, but I kept them at a bare minimum. I didn't even learn from Lavan. See Lavan, Lavan's enthusiasm and Lavan's energy and Lavan's passion for doing the wrong thing was off the charts. Lavan's passions was next level. When he did the wrong thing, boy did he put his entire being into it. When he did the wrong thing, he did it with every ounce of himself. You know, I did the right thing, but I didn't learn from him. I failed to learn from him. I failed to learn from him. So, we usually learn this רש\"י Rashi, ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים v'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im, as פשט pshat, part of my flex. I lived with Lavan, kept all מצוות mitzvos, I didn't learn a bad thing from him. But it says, this beautiful insight, no, לא למדתי lo lamadeti. I should have learned from him. I should have learned from him the passion, the excitement, the energy, the devotion, the selflessness that he had to do the wrong thing, I could have taken all those qualities and applied them in doing the right thing. But let's go back to our core question. If he kept all the מצוות mitzvos, so what do you mean ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים v'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im? This I never said before. What does it mean? So I want to share from זאב עפשטיין Zev Epstein who was the משגיח Mashgiach of תורה אור Torah Ohr, whose אייניקל einekel I met in the parking lot yesterday who said, \"I heard you've been quoting my grandfather, let me send you his ספרים sfarim, בעזרת השם b'ezras Hashem.\" מכאן רואין את כוחות נפש האדם Mi'kan ro'in es kochos nefesh ha'adam, he writes. From here you see the power of the person's soul. יתכן מצב שבו אדם ישמע את כל התורה ואף כי יקיים את כל המצוות כולו, ויחד עם זה ילמד ממעשי לבן, ואף יהיה במהותו סו לבן Yitachen matzav she'bo adam yishma es kol haTorah, v'af ki y'kayem es kol hamitzvos kulo, v'yachad im zeh yilmad m'ma'asei Lavan, v'af yihe b'mahuso so Lavan. Psh. He says, you know, why did it this is extremely redundant. יעקב Yaakov says, \"I lived with Lavan.\" Note, we mentioned last year, he doesn't say, עם לבן ישבתי Im Lavan yashavti. He says, עם לבן גרתי Im Lavan garti. ישב Yashav is to become a resident, is to live, is to integrate, so assimilate. גרתי Garti is מלשון גר mi'lashon ger. רב וואלבע Rav Wolbe says he remained a stranger. I lived with Lavan but I stayed an outsider. So I was able to live there, but I lived there as an outsider, and that's how I was uncompromising. But if he says, \"תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti,\" why do you have to add, \"ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים V'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im?\" Says רב זאב עפשטיין Rav Zev Epstein, this is an unbelievable insight. You talk about a פרשה parsha perspective for today. This is something we are experiencing and we are struggling from today. And you know what that is? We live in a world of people who תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti, I go to מנין minyan, I learn the דף יומי daf yomi, I volunteer for the חברא קדישא Chevra Kadisha, I do חסד chesed, my kids are in ישיבה yeshiva day school, I'm doing, תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti, but still learning from Lavan. But really, my values, my priorities, my lifestyle, my ostentatiousness, my fashion choices, עם לבן im Lavan, they're Lavan. You can be an assimilated observant Jew. And it's a mistake to think that we're not. When we are sympathetic to some of the changing mores and values and the Weltanschauung of the world around us, when we are adapting some of that philosophy, that attitude, that approach, when we give in to some of the isms of our time, when we corrupt the Torah viewpoint of how we are meant to look at the world and relationships and identity and life, how we're meant to look at materialism and physical pleasure, and we are assimilating our values, as reflected in too many of our lifestyle choices, then we can be observant, we can be observant students of Lavan. You could be assimilated observant Jews. Could be assimilated observant Jews. When we are assimilating the wrong values, and we are not rejecting, Torah is not our force field protecting us, but they are penetrating and entering. And that's what רב זאב עפשטיין Rav Zev Epstein says. It's not redundant. עם לבן גרתי ותרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Im Lavan garti v'taryag mitzvos shamarti, I lived with Lavan and I kept all the מצוות mitzvos, maybe you kept all the מצוות mitzvos, but really you lived a life like Lavan. Maybe you dressed like Lavan, acted like Lavan, made your שמחות simchas like Lavan, maybe your attitude, your philosophy, maybe you watch things on Netflix like Lavan. Maybe תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti but you were like Lavan. No. And also ולא למדתי ממעשיו v'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav. It wasn't redundant or extraneous to add that sentence, it was critically important because יעקב Yaakov was saying two things. Number one, I remained observant. But number two, and I also didn't assimilate. And it's an important conversation. It's an important conversation to have with ourselves, with those around us. You could save it for your שבת Shabbos table or beforehand, but to ask in what ways are we assimilating? How have we assimilated in our attitude, in our philosophy, in our thoughts, in our approach, in our lifestyle, even while yet we are observant? Even while yet we are observant? Does being a Torah Jew, does being a בן תורה ben Torah, a בת תורה bas Torah, does being בני תורה bnei Torah, does that define us? Is that our core? Is that our identity? Is it everything about us? Even while we engage the world around us and take the best from it? I'm not advocating, and if you know me, you know me well enough to know, I don't live this. I'm not advocating retreat and isolation, live a life where we're not exposed or participating in the best of what the world has to offer. But even while we do, are we assimilating in or are we judicious in what we choose to adopt and to participate in? תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti, we could be fully observant, and yet be living with Lavan. Be living with Lavan. Or, like יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu, to be living with Lavan, but not to be, to be observing Torah and also not to be living with him. And then רב זאב עפשטיין Rav Zev Epstein quotes the רמב\"ן Ramban, in the beginning of פרשת קדושים Parshas Kedoshim, that begins 'קדושים תהיו Kedoshim tihiyu, be holy.' What does it mean be holy? The רמב\"ן Ramban famously there says, \"Don't be a נבל ברשות התורה naval b'rshus haTorah.\" What's a נבל ברשות התורה naval b'rshus haTorah? A מנוול ברשות התורה minuval b'rshus haTorah. It means when you can check off every box, I did nothing wrong. Let's say every Sunday for the football season, what is it? 16 weeks? 20 weeks? 14 weeks? I'm not trying to show off that I don't know, I actually don't know, 17 weeks. So let's say you say, not, you know, I watch one game or one quarter or one half a week, I do it with my children, we we bond, I do it to relax and reinvigorate, to be able to refocus and to have a great week ahead. There's nothing wrong, I'm a sports fan myself. I don't think there's anything wrong with utilizing it in the context of עבודת השם avodas Hashem. But let's say somebody says, when I wake up Sunday morning, I have to go to the early מנין minyan because by 7 a.m. I'm already tailgating, and I'm already eating and drinking and barbecuing because I got to watch the NFL pregame, then I watch four games in a row, then I spend my night with the postgames, then I analyze my, what do you call it? Not, my fantasy league, and that's my Sunday. And then you become, you leave your wife, what's called a football, an NFL widow, and your children become NFL orphans, because my Sunday is 12, 14 hours, the pregame, four games, the tailgate, the eating during, the eating after, the postgame. So the רמב\"ן Ramban says, you come to such a person and you say, \"Is that what השם Hashem wants for you?\" And they say, \"What are you talking about, the tailgate?\" All the ingredients were כשר kosher. Everything had an OU, חפ-ק Chof-K, highest standards. All the bread was פת ישראל pas Yisroel. What are you talking about? The שחיטה shchita was, was a היימישע שחיטה haimishe shchita, the best that's out there. We even דאווען מעריב daven maariv at halftime. We did a דבר תורה dvar Torah, I think in between the second and third game. So the רמב\"ן Ramban would say that's a נבל ברשות התורה naval b'rshus haTorah. Again, I'm not rejecting sports altogether, I enjoy too, in moderation, judiciously, but a person could live a life of נבל ברשות התורה naval b'rshus haTorah. Technically, I check every box, I've done nothing wrong, but is what you're doing right? And says רב זאב עפשטיין Rav Zev Epstein, that's the insight here. So good, I probably should have saved it for שבת Shabbos for the דרשה drasha. Such a good insight. Are we assimilated observant Jews? Are we תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti, but עם לבן גרתי im Lavan garti, but we're still living with Lavan? Or are we תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti and ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים v'lo lamadeti m'ma'asav hara'im, but we're being careful what we adopt and what we learn? Next. Next. תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti. What do you mean תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti? I think we shared this previously in another name, but we'll share it this year in the name of the ליקוטי עליון Likutai Eilyon. It appears in this wonderful ספר sefer as well. How can he say תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti? 20 years he didn't see his parents. We have a little מצוה mitzvah when it comes to parents called כיבוד אב ואם kibud av v'em. What do you mean I observed all 613? You didn't keep כיבוד אב ואם kibud av v'em. You weren't in Israel, you were outside the land of Israel. You didn't take תרומות ומעשרות trumos and ma'asros, you didn't observe the מצוות התלויות בארץ mitzvos hatluyos ba'aretz. By the way, יעקב Yaakov, I hate to bring it up, but you were married to two sisters. That's a no-no. The Torah says you're not allowed to marry two sisters. What do you mean תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti? Please, send a message to my brother, עם לבן גרתי im Lavan garti, but תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti. What do you mean תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti? You didn't keep כיבוד אב ואם kibud av v'em. You didn't do מצוות התלויות בארץ mitzvos hatluyos ba'aretz. You didn't... there were a ton of מצוות mitzvos you didn't do. There's no בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash, there's no קרבנות karbanos, there's no כהנים kohanim, there's no... how could you say you observed all תרי\"ג מצוות taryag mitzvos? So the ספר קרית ספר sefer Kriyas Sefer, the commentary rather, קרית ספר Kriyas Sefer in his הקדמה hakdama, in his introduction, קרית ספר Kriyas Sefer is not just a town near Modiin in Israel today, was a beautiful commentary on the Rambam and others. The קרית ספר Kriyas Sefer writes, in the beginning of פרק ציון Perek Zion, his הקדמה hakdama. כשהאדם מקבל על עצמו לעשות כל מה שנצטווה מפי הגבורה, הרי הוא כאילו עשאן K'she'mekabel ha'adam la'asos kol ma she'niztavah mipi hagvurah, harei hu k'ilu asa'an. We believe that when a person has, when a person has committed themselves to do something השם Hashem asks, when a person says, \"Yeah, I see myself doing it. I'm prepared to do it, I want to do it, I'm ready to do it, I will do it,\" it is as if they've done it. והקבלה על ידי הקריאה V'ha'kabala al yedei ha'kria, when a person declares, when a person commits, when a person pronounces, when a person is devoted that they're going to do it, תיחשב כמעשה teichasheiv k'ma'aseh. כמו שנאמר באביב בני ישראל את הפסח K'mo she'ne'emar b'Aviv Bnei Yisrael es haPesach, כיוון דקבלו עליהם לעשות, מעלה עליהם כאילו עשו מיד k'ven d'kiblu aleihem la'asos, ma'aleh aleihem k'ilu asu miyad. The Torah says that they offered the Pesach even before they did, because once they accepted upon themselves to do it, we say this in our vernacular. You ask me to do it, and what do I say to you? It's as good as, it's as good as done. You don't have to ask me again. You asked me to do something and I said yes, and when I said yes, the fact that I said yes to what you asked me to do, it makes it as good as, it's as good as done. You don't have to, it's as good as done. So says the קרית ספר Kriyas Sefer, that when we learn Torah, we learn מצוות mitzvos, we may not be in a place, a time, we may not be ready ourselves to do something. But when we say done, done and done, done and done, it's as good as done, then it's as if we already did it. And that's what it means. When יעקב Yaakov says, \"תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti,\" I, how's that possible? He can't possibly observe all 613. He didn't have that opportunity where he was. The answer is, but he was ready to. And when you're ready to do a מצוה mitzvah, it's כאילו k'ilu you did it. And he continues, and this we shared previously, that he says תרי\"ג מצוות taryag mitzvos, what's the word he uses? שמרתי Shamarti. He doesn't say I kept תרי\"ג מצוות taryag mitzvos. He doesn't say תרי\"ג מצוות עשיתי taryag mitzvos asisi. What does he say? תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי Taryag mitzvos shamarti. What does the word שמרתי shamarti mean? I safeguarded. You can safeguard by learning, studying, committing, talking about it, you could safeguard by being committed to it. He never said I kept it, because you're right, that would be impossible. He says שמרתי shamarti, I, I protected it. I protected it by learning, talking, thinking, committing, pledging, and promising to it. But more than that, the word שמר shamar doesn't only mean to safeguard, you know what else it means? It means to look forward to, to anticipate, to count down. Where do we see that? ואביב שמר את הדבר V'aviv shamar es hadavar. Later when יעקב Yaakov will be waiting for יוסף's Yosef's return, יעקב Yaakov is inconsolable. He refuses to accept the possibility that יוסף Yosef is gone forever. It says ואביב שמר את הדבר v'aviv shamar es hadavar. It says that יעקב Yaakov שמר shamar, he longed, he counted, he anticipated to יוסף's Yosef's return. The word שמר shamar, that's what it means to be a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos. The אפטר רב Apter Rav, the אוהב ישראל Ohev Yisrael says, a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos is not just on שבת Shabbos, a שומר שבת shomer Shabbos is all week long when you look forward to and you long and you count down and you turn Friday into ערב שבת Erev Shabbos. So תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti means the whole time I lived with Lavan and I was precluded and prevented from keeping מצוות mitzvos, תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti. I never stopped longing and waiting. I never stopped anticipating and getting excited for when I would be able to come back and keep them again. Someone could have been in Auschwitz, someone could have been in a concentration camp and said, I kept תרי\"ג מצוות taryag mitzvos there. What do you mean you kept תרי\"ג מצוות taryag mitzvos there? You had to eat non-kosher. You couldn't keep שבת Shabbos. You couldn't keep מצוות mitzvos, you didn't have ד' אמות daled amos and מצה matzah. What are you talking about? The answer is the entire time I thought about the מצוות mitzvos. I talked about and I committed to them and I pledged and I promised if I'd get out, I'd keep them. And I looked forward and I'd long to when I'd return to them once again, and that's what תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti means. A very, very beautiful insight. The חיד\"א Chida has a comment, רב חיים יוסף דוד אזולאי Rav Chaim Yosef David Azulai, and he says the following. Again, in our beautiful new מקראות גדולות Mikraos Gedolos, מקראות גדולות הפרדס Mikraos Gedolos HaPardes, פשט, רמז, דרש, סוד pshat, remez, drash, sod, quotes a lot of חסידות Chasidus and ספרים sforim, in very small print. The חיד\"א Chida says the following. מקשים, איך קיים תרי\"ג מצוות? הרי איכא כמה מצוות שאי אפשר לקיימם. Makshim, eich kayam taryag mitzvos? Harei ka ikka kama mitzvos she'e'efshar lekaymam. As we asked, you're in חוץ לארץ Chutz La'aretz, you're not near your parents. You can't say you kept all of them. יש לומר שעוסק בתורה בדיני כל מצווה ומצווה, והלימוד נחשב לו למעשה בגלל שהוא מוכן לקיים ורק שחסר המציאות. Yesh lomar she'osek be'Torah be'dinei kol mitzvah u'mitzvah ve'ha'limud nichshav lo l'maaseh biglal she'hu muchan l'kayem verak she'chaser ha'metzius. He did keep it. He learned the laws, he was ready to do it. The only thing missing was actually doing it. And he couldn't do it not because of his own fault. He was אונס oness. אונס רחמנא פטרי Oness Rachmana patrei. He was exempt because he technically couldn't do it. So in other words, every time we do a מצווה mitzvah, there are several components. We learn about it, we have to commit to doing it, and then we do it. Two out of the three he did. He learned about it and the commitment was there. Doing it, that was out of his hands. ומובן מה שכתב תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי, שמרתי לעשות למעשה, תא על ידי, כל מצווה כקיימנה ונחשב למעשה. U'muvan ma she'kasav taryag mitzvos shamarti, shamarti la'asos l'maaseh, tav al yadi, kol mitzvah ka'kaymena ve'nichshav l'maaseh. וזה מה שאמרו במילים כל עבדך יעקב, שרמז לו שאמירה זו עם לבן גרתי תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי. Ve'zeh ma she'amru b'meilim kol avdecha Yaakov she'remez lo she'amira zu im Lavan garti taryag mitzvos shamarti. אפשר להסביר Efsher le'hasbir, and we could further add, דהוצרך לומר תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי כדי להוציא מלבו של עשו. De'hutzrach lomar taryag mitzvos shamarti, kedei lehotzi m'libo shel Esav. Why did he send this message? Let's go back to the very beginning. Why did he send this message? Is he flexing? T4. Okay, the messenger shows up and says, \"Hi, your brother יעקב Yaakov, I work for him. He wants you to know that he's so sorry, he would have been here sooner, but he was held up because he was working for the evil לבן Lavan for 20 years, a שומר shemira. And he just wants to let you know that even while he was working for them all those 20 years, he observed מצוות mitzvos the entire time, and he never learned from the wickedness of Lavan.\" Why? Why was that an important message to communicate? Says the חיד\"א Chida, סבור שיעקב ביטל מצוות כי בארץ ישראל אף אינו מצוות שילוח הקן, שתי אחיות Sovor she'Yaakov bittel mitzvos ki be'Eretz Yisrael af eino mitzvas shiluach ha'kein, shetei achayos, וכן חשב שהיה אצל לבן ביטל כמה מצוות. ובכח דמיונות אלו הלך ליכין ביעקב, כי השם סורמי עליו חס ושלום. ve'chein chashav she'haya eitzel Lavan bittel kama mitzvos, u'v'koach dimyonos eilu, halach l'yachin be'Yaakov, ki Hashem sormei alav chas v'shalom. Before this reunion, Yaakov wanted to make sure Esav knew something. עשו Esav, maybe you assume that for 20 years I've been sliding away. For 20 years, I couldn't keep כיבוד אב ואם kibud av v'em. I didn't have a ישיבה Yeshiva, I didn't have a בית מדרש Beis Midrash, I wasn't near Mom and Dad. I didn't have מצוות התלויות בארץ mitzvos ha'tluyos ba'aretz. I'm married to two sisters, which is a violation of the very law that I've been advocating for. So עשו Esav, maybe you're going to take some kind of joy, or maybe you think that I'm vulnerable because you think that I'm off the דרך derech. Yeah, we grew up together, twins. You all along were a little tzaddikala. I was in the בית מדרש Beis Midrash sitting and learning, and now you're going to have some kind of wicked joy by the thought that I too went off the דרך derech and joined you. And you're going to think you're going to bring me down, you think you're going to be able to take me down because I lost my edge. Just want to let you know, תרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי taryag mitzvos shamarti. That I never stopped observing, I never stopped keeping. לכן אמר לו יעקב עם לבן גרתי, לא נעשיתי שר וחשוב אלא גר. La'chein amar lo Yaakov im Lavan garti, lo na'aseisi sar v'chashuv ela ger. By the way, unless you think that I assimilated into Lavan, and I, and I rose to become some type of leader, aristocrat, royalty, wealthy, powerful in Lavan's home, גרתי garti, I was a גר ger. Because I was uncompromising, because I remained steadfast to my convictions, גר ger. I was an outsider. I was an outsider. וזה מראה שאני ולבן שונאים זה לזה Ve'zeh maara she'ani v'Lavan sonim zeh la'zeh. We were at each other's throats, we were enemies. I never assimilated into what he wanted. ולא למדתי ממעשיו הרעים v'lo lamadeti m'maasav ha'ra'im. ודע לך v'da l'cha, and know, my brother עשו Esav, שתרי\"ג מצוות שמרתי ולא ביטלתי שום מצווה. She'taryag mitzvos shamarti v'lo bitalti shum mitzvah. I have not rejected one mitzvah. ועל אישה שתי אחיות V'al isha shte'achayos, really sure... the two sisters, ah, I have an excuse, I have an out, a technical reason, it was okay. So that is the message, that is an interpretation perhaps into what the message is he was getting across. But let's keep going because it's already getting late, we haven't yet started. ל\"ב, י\"ד Lamed beis, yud daled. Turn the page. So now, Yaakov does his threefold preparation, military, diplomacy gifts, and prayer. But he's still nervous, and he says, קטנתי מכל החסדים ומכל האמת אשר עשית את עבדך. Katonti mikol ha'chasadim u'mikol ha'emes asher asisa es avdecha. He says, maybe, maybe I'm unworthy. Maybe I've become so diminished by all the goodness and the kindness that Hashem has shown me, ומכל האמת u'mikol ha'emes. We're not going to revisit in previous years we spoke about, I understand why a person would become diminished because God has been gracious, ב'חסדים b'chasadim, the goodness God did. But why would they become diminished because of the אמת emes? If it's truth and if it's just, then why should they be diminished? Why should they lose out on their merits because of it? We discussed that previously, many insights on קטנתי Katonti, but I want to share with you a couple more. A couple more insights on the word קטנתי Katonti. What was Yaakov thinking? What exactly was Yaakov worried about when he says, קטנתי מכל החסדים Katonti mikol ha'chasadim. I've become diminished from all the goodness and the kindness that Hashem has shown me. So the החוזה מלובלין Choseiv of Lublin, the great החוזה מלובלין Choseiv of Lublin says, קטנתי מכל החסדים Katonti mikol ha'chasadim. מידת הענוה יתכן כאשר רואה ענוותנותו על ידי שהוא בצער. Midas ha'anava yitachen ka'asher ro'eh anvenuso av yedei shehu b'tzaar. You see a person's humility, you see a person's humility, the מידה of ענווה mida of anava, when a person is in distress, crisis. או על ידי שמשיג גדלות הבורא וריבוי חסדיו עמו, ואז שמריש כל מה שעושה כאין ואפס כנגד מה שהיה צריך לעשות. o al yedei she'masig gadlus ha'Borei v'ribui chasadav imo, v'az sh'margish kol ma she'oso k'ayin v'efes k'neged ma she'hayah tzarich la'asos. So you see the real humility of a person in two circumstances. When that person has this epiphany or awakening that God is great and I'm so nothing, then a person is humbled by the greatness, the vastness of God, and in contrast, just how small, how finite, how mere mortal we are. Or, when a person's in crisis. Who's arrogant while they're in crisis? When they're in crisis, they say, I need, I depend, I rely only on Hashem. ולזה כיוון יעקב שנעשה קטן ועניו מרוב התבוננות בחסדי הבורא. Vel'zeh kiven Yaakov she'naasa katan v'anav m'rov hisbonenus b'chasdei ha'Borei. So this is what he's saying to Hashem. קטנתי מכל החסדים Katonti mikol ha'chasadim. Yaakov's offering a prayer to Hashem and he says, let me be קטנתי Katonti, let my humility stem from the recognition of how great you are and not stem from being in a state of crisis. לכן, אין צריך לא לעוונותיו ולא לצער בכדי שירגיש ענוה Lachen, ein tzarich lo la'avonoso v'lo l'tzaar b'chdei she'yargish anava וממילא יכול לבקש שהשם יצילהו u'mimeila yachol levakesh she'Hashem yatzilehu. In other words, my humility can be driven either by an absolute learning and awareness of how great you are or the humility can be driven by crisis. Hashem, let the humility be driven by an awareness of who you are. שפת אמת Sfas Emes, the great גערער רבי Gerrer Rebbe understands differently. He says, קטנתי מכל החסדים Katonti mikol ha'chasadim, פירוש, גם מה שאני מרגיש את עצמי קטן, הוא מחסד השם. peirush, gam ma she'ani margish es atzmi katan, hu m'chesed Hashem. It's a great שפת אמת Sfas Emes. We usually read it, קטנתי מכל החסדים Katonti mikol ha'chasadim. I am diminished from all of your חסד chesed. He says, no, קטנתי Katonti. That which I live with humility, if I merit to be humble, that too is one of the חסדים chasadim you've done for me. Arrogant people don't live happy lives. A person is arrogant, their ego fills the whole room, they're not really in a relationship with people around them. They think they are. It's a blind spot. They don't even know they're not. So Yaakov says, קטנתי Katonti is מכל החסדים mikol ha'chasadim. קטנתי Katonti. The fact that I'm humble is itself one of the חסדים chasadim. קטנתי Katonti is one of the חסדים chasadim that you've done for me. What was he afraid of? What was he afraid of exactly? Is this some, the fact that he says, קטנתי מכל החסדים Katonti mikol ha'chasadim. He says, Hashem, what if I'm unworthy? And what if therefore I'm vulnerable? And what if my brother Esav, he takes me down? And therefore he davens to Hashem. הצילני נא מיד אחי מיד עשו Hatzileini na miyad achi miyad Esav. כי ירא אנכי אותו פן יבוא והכני אם על בנים Ki yarei anochi oso pen yavo v'hikani em al banim. I'm afraid, פן יבוא והכני pen yavo v'hikani, he's going to come and strike me, אם על בנים em al banim, he's going to destroy my family. Everything I've built up, everything I've merited. The great Yaakov, the בחיר האבות bechir ha'avos, the choice of all the patriarchs, now has a crisis of faith? Where is his אמונה amuna? What happened to his faith? Isn't he challenging God? Shouldn't a person say, look, I have to do what's the ask of me. Like the רמב\"ן Ramban's introduction to our פרשה parsha. I have to take my initiative, diplomacy, and war, military, and prayer. And now I'm good to go. Now I have no fear at all. Instead, he says, I've done those three things, and yet I'm still afraid. Isn't that a crisis of faith? The great Yaakov is worried? Don't we preach each week at the שיעור חיים עם אמונה Living with Emunah shiur, let go, let God. Do what you need to and then know that he's in charge. Submit and surrender, you'll be happier. You'll lead a healthier life. Yaakov never listened to the שיעור חיים עם אמונה Living with Emunah shiur? So says the אברבנאל Abarbanel. ברוך אתה ה' אלוקינו מלך העולם שהכל נהיה בדברו Baruch ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro. אמן Amen. Says the אברבנאל Abarbanel, פחד יעקב ויראתו מעשו לא היה מחולש את אמונתו ובטחונו ביוצר. Pachad Yaakov v'yiraso m'Esav lo haya m'chulash es emunoso u'vitchono b'yotzro. Yaakov's fear did not stem from a failure of faith. אבל יפחדו כדרך הגיבור האמיתי Aval yapachto k'derech ha'gibor ha'amiti. This is along the lines of the Ramban's introduction. This is part of his השתדלות hishtadlus. When you act so macho and you don't have any butterflies in your stomach and you have no nervous nervousness, then you're not living in the rules of nature. ויכנוס למלחמה יפחד מהמוות וירגיש בסכנה...בני המעלה... כאשר זוכר... אפילו סופוס בספר המידות. ומי שיכנוס למלחמה ולא יחשוש שלא ימות, לא יקרא גיבור. ve'yichanos l'milchama yifchad me'hamaves v'yargish b'sakana, b'nei ha'meilah... ka'asher zocher... afilu sofos b'sefer ha'midos. U'mi she'yikanes l'milchama v'lo yachshosh shelo yamus lo yikare gibor. He says the אברבנאל Abarbanel, the following, I'll just summarize it because there's so much more we want to cover. The אברבנאל Abarbanel says the following. You know, parents, among the scariest kind of children to have is a fearless child. You know the child that's willing to jump off of a high thing, the child who's the thrill-seeker, is willing to do anything. The child who's not afraid of anything. For a parent, that is devastatingly frightful. To have a child who's fearless? That's really, really, really scary. Because the way the natural order works, the way Hashem created us and his world, is that fear creates healthy boundaries. Fear, a שטיקל shtickel anxiousness makes us prepare, makes us take caution, makes us mindful. There's a healthy dose of anxiousness. There's a healthy dose of nervousness. There's a healthy dose of fear that guides us to live a safe and secure and protected life. When a child is fearless, those parents don't sleep at night because who knows what that child will do? What they'll jump off of, how fast they'll drive, where they'll go, what they'll attempt. It's scary to have a kid who's fearless. So it says the אברבנאל Abarbanel, when he says קטנתי מכל החסדים, הצילני נא מיד אחי Katonti mikol ha'chasadim, hatzileini na miyad achi. Yaakov says, I'm not going to lie. Hashem, I did the three things I'm supposed to do, and I'm still a little bit nervous. And I find that so validating. I find that so empowering because when we're still a little bit nervous, that's healthy. That's okay. That too is an expression of אמונה emunah. So Yaakov takes that nervousness, that anxiousness, Yaakov takes that little edge on our Behind the Bima podcast, we speak to lots of very prominent people. And one of the questions we often ask is, do you get nervous? We just asked it recently to Avraham Fried, to Rabbi YY Jacobson. We ask, do you still get nervous? Mariano Rivera, great pitcher of the Yankees, we asked, did you get nervous when you got on the mound? Do you still get nervous? Do you get nervous? We've never had a great person say no, not at all. I've done it a million times. I'm the best at what I do. I've prepared, so I'm not nervous. They all say, absolutely, and the day I don't get nervous is the day I retire. It's the day I'm done. Those nervous butterflies, that little anxiousness, that's a driver. It's healthy. But what Yaakov does with it is what we're meant to do with it. What does Yaakov do with it? He turns it into a תפילה tefillah. I'm a little bit nervous. About to go on the big stage, about to take the microphone, שבת שובה דרשה Shabbos Shuva drasha, a big audience, a great privilege and a great opportunity and a great responsibility to try to inspire and elevate, to try to share a great message. I get nervous. I get very nervous. But you know what I try to do, like Yaakov Avinu, רבונו של עולם Ribono shel Olam, please let it all work out. Please put the right words in my mouth. Please let it go smoothly. Please, in the age when we use technology, let the technology work. To channel the nervousness or anxiousness into a תפילה tefillah. So it's an important, important insight of the Abarbanel, is don't say, don't say, don't get nervous, that's a failure or a crisis of faith. Say, get nervous, get nervous, and turn that nervousness into a תפילה tefillah just like Yaakov Avinu does. Okay. ויוותר יעקב לבדו Vayivaser Yaakov levado. Oh. פרק ל\"ב, פסוק כ\"ה Perek Lamed Beis, Pasuk Chaf Hei. So they're on their way for this reunion. At night, Yaakov and they're traveling. Yaakov forgets the פכים קטנים pachim ketanim, here's an allusion to חנוכה Chanukah in פרשת וישלח Parshas Vayishlach. Often there is an overlap. And Yaakov goes back to retrieve the פכים קטנים pachim ketanim, these small jugs, like the פח pach of the בית המקדש Beis HaMikdash, an allusion to חנוכה Chanukah. ויוותר יעקב לבדו Vayivaser Yaakov levado, he goes back, he finds himself alone. ויאבק איש עמו עד עלות השחר vaye'avek ish imo ad alos ha'shachar. And he wrestles with the angel until daybreak. We've also spoken about this a million times. Listen to previous shiurim, we're not going to review it. We do not eat from the גיד הנשה gid ha'nasheh. We do not eat from the sciatic nerve until today in commemoration that Yaakov was injured, he walked away with a limp. חזקוני Chizkuni asks, normally when we win, we have a מצווה mitzvah to eat, not to stop eating something. This is kind of bizarre. Yaakov defeats a שר של עשו sar shel Esav, Yaakov defeats his alter ego, Yaakov defeats the יצר הרע Yetzer Hara, Yaakov defeats the שטן Satan. I have to be careful. Last night I spoke at a ברית יצחק Bris Yitzchak, as ספראדים Sfaradim don't have a שלום זכר Shalom Zachar. They have a ברית יצחק Bris Yitzchak the night before the bris. And I was talking about Yaakov wrestling with the שטן Satan, and Yaakov wrestled with the angel, the שטן Satan. And a woman screamed from the other room, \"We don't say that word in this house. Stop saying the name.\" So a little, little עין הרע ayin hara. I was a little startled, but I was also a little inspired. You know, we're like שטן, שטן Satan, Satan. Bring it on. Do we really believe in him? Do we know what it is? Do we really care? She was like, he's real for me. Stop saying his name. He's not welcome in this house. I was startled, but also impressed and inspired. So Yaakov wrestles with his alter ego and he triumphs. He walks away, he defeats the alter ego. So normally, everybody knows the old Jewish joke, they tried to kill us, we won. Let's eat. This is, they tried to kill him, he won. Don't eat. Don't eat the sciatic nerve. The חזקוני Chizkuni has an altogether different interpretation. If you want to hear it, you'll have to listen to one of the previous years. But I want to bring your attention this year to something new, and that is אונקלוס Unkelos. אונקלוס Unkelos, the תרגום אונקלוס Targum Unkelos, the great Aramaic, second century translator of Torah, writes on these words, ויוותר יעקב לבדו Vayivaser Yaakov levado, that Yaakov wrestled by himself, אשתדל גברא עמו Eshtadel gavra imo. אשתדל Eshtadel, what does the word אשתדל Eshtadel mean? We just used it in the Ramban's introduction to our parsha. If I had to reduce the theme, this is the theme of the פרשה parsha. השתדלות Hishtadlus. אונקלוס Unkelos translates the word ויאבק vaye'avek, to wrestle as to try. Every time we try, we're wrestling with our alter ego. What an אונקלוס Unkelos. We're not always going to win. We're not always going to succeed. We're not always going to break through. But we have to try. We have to try. That is our mission. That is our responsibility. אשתדל גברא עמו Eshtadel gavra imo. To wrestle is to try, is to willing to try. How many people don't even try because they're afraid to fail? They're afraid to fail. So it's easier to not try than it is to try and fail. There are people professionally who are stuck. They've have no ambition, they've never stretched, they've never left their comfort zone. There are people socially who've never left their comfort zone. There are people in Torah who've never left their comfort zone. There are people in their relationships who've never tried. There are people in their health and wellness who've never tried because they're afraid to fail. To try is to wrestle. To wrestle is to try. And that's all we can be asked. I call your attention to the רמב\"ם Rambam in הלכות תשובה Hilchos Teshuva. The רמב\"ם Rambam says, ישתדל לעשות תשובה yishtadel la'asos teshuva. The רמב\"ם Rambam says try to do תשובה teshuva. It's a funny מצווה mitzvah. He doesn't say the רמב\"ם Rambam, try to light the מנורה menorah, try to keep שבת Shabbos, try to keep כשר kosher. But when it comes to תשובה teshuva, he says, try. ישתדל Yishtadel. Try. What do you mean try? It's a מצווה mitzvah. You have to. Do תשובה teshuva. Do תשובה teshuva. What do you mean try to do תשובה teshuva? So I think based on this אונקלוס Unkelos, this is my own idea, based on this אונקלוס Unkelos you could suggest, what the רמב\"ם Rambam is saying is what is תשובה teshuva? תשובה Teshuva is the experience of wrestling with ourselves. Wrestle with yourself. Make an effort. Try. Try. Don't be a coward. Don't be afraid to fail. Fail forward if you fail. If you fail. The משנה באבות Mishnah b'Avos says, במקום שאין אנשים השתדל להיות איש b'makom she'ein anashim hishtadel l'hiyos ish. In a place that there are no people, try to be a person. The רמב\"ם Rambam in his פירוש המשניות peirush ha'mishnayos writes, ענין השתדל, הרגל נפשך ומשוכה לקניית המעלות, ואחר שאין אנשים חכמים שילמדוך, היה אתה מלמד את עצמך. ויאבק איש עמו, אשתדל גברא עמו. inyan hishtadel, hargel nafshecha u'meshucheha l'k'nias ha'ma'alos, v'achar she'ein anashim chachamim she'yalmducha, haya ata melamed es atzmecha. Vaye'avek ish imo, eshtadel gavra imo. The רמב\"ם Rambam translates that משנה באבות Mishnah b'Avos, במקום שאין אנשים b'makom she'ein anashim. You know, that's when the rabbi's recruiting you to lead the committee. That's what the rabbi will always invoke, this משנה באבות Mishnah b'Avos. במקום שאין אנשים B'makom she'ein anashim. Please be the גבאי gabbai. Please chair the committee. Please work on the effort. במקום שאין אנשים B'makom she'ein anashim. There's no one else willing to do it. השתדל להיות איש Hishtadel l'hiyos ish. We need you to step up and be the man, be the woman, take control. But the Rambam says that's not what the Mishna means. The Mishna doesn't mean when no one else is willing to do it, you step up and do it. That's not the Mishna. The Rambam says, you know what the Mishna means? You know where's the במקום שאין אנשים makom she'ein anashim? Where's a place that there are no other people? In your head, in your heart, and in your soul. Where you live and you live alone. When you live, when no one sees you, when you're living privately, when you're living in your innermost chamber, when you're living in your own head, in your own head, which is a במקום שאין אנשים makom she'ein anashim, that's where השתדל להיות איש hishtadel l'hiyos ish. Wrestle to become the person you're meant to be. All of us have demons. All of us have negative thoughts. All of us have those voices that sabotage our success. The רמב\"ם Rambam is saying is shut them down. Shut those voices down. במקום שאין אנשים B'makom she'an anashim, in our own psyche and in our own heads, in our own place that there's no one else, there's no one to lean on, no one to rely on. There's no Tony Robbins, there's no motivational speaker, there's no Charlie Harary, there's no Rabbi YY Jacobson. There's no one in your head, it's you. You're right now falling asleep. You're in the shower, you're driving in your car, and you're having that conversation with yourself that says, you're not worthy, you won't succeed, don't bother trying, take the easy way out. במקום שאין אנשים B'makom she'an anashim, in your head in that place, that's when השתדל להיות איש hishtadel l'hiyos ish. Step up, man up, woman up. Shut it down, that voice, and realize who you could be and go become that person. Where did the רמב\"ם Rambam get that from? That's the טייטש taich, that's the interpretation of the משנה באבות Mishnah b'Avos, במקום שאין אנשים b'makom she'ein anashim in a place that there's no one else. Where did he get it from? He got it from this אונקלוס Unkelos. ויאבק Vaye'avek, what it means to wrestle, אשתדל Eshtadel. Every time we make an effort, take initiative, and we try, we are wrestling with ourselves. We're wrestling with others when we're facing inertia, when we're fighting the obstacles or impediments in our way. Can be family, can be friends, it can be nature, it can be socially, it can be a pandemic. Sometimes we have to face and confront forces fighting against us. But one of those forces is our own voice in our own head. אשתדל Eshtadel, במקום שאין אנשים b'makom she'ein anashim, in a place that there's no one else, השתדל להיות איש hishtadel l'hiyos ish. That's where we need in the conversation in our own head. וייאבק Vaye'avek, אשתדל eshtadel. Wrestle. Be willing to wrestle. Be willing to go to the mat. Be willing to wrestle even if it means, even if it means you're making yourself vulnerable to getting injured. Sometimes when we wrestle and we put ourselves out on a limb, we leave our comfort zone and we agree to speak publicly, we agree to chair that event, we agree to go to that place, we agree to take on that that uh, lifestyle change. We agree to make that commitment, learning or living, whatever it is. Sometimes we may walk away like Yaakov did. We may walk away limping. It didn't go exactly as we thought. When we put ourselves in the public light, now people spoke about us, now they wrote comments about us, now they sent us nasty emails. So we got injured like Yaakov. Nevertheless, השתדל להיות איש hishtadel l'hiyos ish, that is our responsibility. Okay, let's give, let's fast forward. I want to get to another part of the parsha for our last 10 minutes or so together. And that is the story of Dina. Lamed Daled, perek Lamed Daled, chapter 34, pasuk aleph. Chapter 34, pasuk aleph, verse one. They have the reunion, it goes well, at least on the surface. Esav says, \"Listen, we're brothers, arm in arm. Nu, let's go.\" Yaakov says, \"Let's quit while we're behind. We press on, let's not press our luck. You go your way, I'll go I got a big family, they're very slow. I've got a whole entourage. They keep stopping, they have to daven Shacharis, Mincha, Maariv. You know, you go, we'll meet up sometime in the future. Perek Lamed Daled, pasuk aleph. ותצא דינה בת לאה אשר ילדה ליעקב לראות בבנות הארץ Vateitzei Dina bas Leah asher yaldah l'Yaakov lir'os b'vnos ha'aretz. Here we have the story of Dina. Dina, the daughter of Leah, born to Yaakov, lest you think Leah had some extramarital affair. Dina, the daughter of Leah, who was also born to Yaakov, went out. ותצא Vateitzei, she went out. She went out. She went out. She went out why? לראות בבנות הארץ Lir'os b'vnos ha'aretz, she went to go check out what's going on. The local pub, the local club, the well where everyone hangs out to find their shidduch. The single scene. She goes out, and whom does she meet? Lo and behold, the single scene, careful what you wish for, she runs into Shechem, the son of Hamor, the Chivi, and he rapes her. He rapes her. וישכב אותה ויענה vayishkav osa vayianea. There's no consent, #metoo, he rapes her. ותדבק נפשו בדינה בת יעקב Vatidbak nafsho b'Dina bas Yaakov. But you know what? After he rapes his victim, he actually falls in love. He falls for his victim. And he says, \"Nu, let's get married.\" Says to his father, I found the one, I found the girl. And Yaakov hears that his daughter had been raped, that his daughter had been violated. Hamor comes and says, \"Nu, let's talk, let's make the shidduch, let's close the deal. ובני יעקב באו U'vnei Yaakov bau, meanwhile Dina's brothers come in from the field and they hear what had happened and they say, this can't go. So we all know the story. They say, look, it's a beautiful shidduch, we'll close the deal, but our sister's not marrying somebody who's uncircumcised. You and all the people of the town get circumcised and then we'll, we'll have the wedding, we'll host the chuppah. The third day after the circumcision, most vulnerable in the recovery process, they go and they slaughter and they wipe out the whole town. Yaakov becomes irate. Yaakov says to them, Lavi and Shimon, what did you do? Impetuous. What did you do? So impulsive. What did you do? You risked our safety. They're surely going to take revenge. Are you crazy? And even later, Parshas Vayechi, when Yaakov is giving the brachos on his deathbed to his children, he's still holding on to this resentment. Lavi and Shimon, you risked it all. Everything I built and everything I achieved. When you act so impulsively and impetuously, what were you thinking? All the way later in Parshas Vayechi. And Lavi and Shimon say, I'll tell you what we were thinking. Nobody's going to turn our sister into a harlot. כזונה k'zonah, nobody's going to turn our sister into a זונה zonah. That's what we were thinking. But that didn't answer Yaakov's question. Yaakov says, but you risked our lives, that was dangerous. You think Yaakov says, you think I wasn't offended? You think I wasn't bothered too? So here we have this story. But the story begins with what? How is it introduced? With ותצא דינה Vateitzei Dina, that Dina went out. Dina went out. And the מדרש תנחומא Midrash Tanchuma tells us about Dina going out. פורץ גדר ישכנו נחש, זה דינה. Poretz geder yishachenu nachash, zeh Dina. A pasuk, a pasuk, I think in Mishlei, one who bursts forth, one who pierces a boundary will get bit by a snake. Whom is that pasuk talking about? Dina. What boundary, what boundary did she break through? כי שאביה ואחיה יושבים בבית המדרש, יצאה לראות בבנות הארץ. ki she'aviv v'achav yoshvim b'Beis HaMidrash, yatz'ah lir'os b'vnos ha'aretz. Everyone else was at the פרשה שיעור parsha shiur. And Dina said, \"Eh, I want to go out.\" Everybody else stayed home and played Rummikub. Everybody else stayed home and had art night. Everybody else stayed home and packed Tomchei Shabbos boxes. ותצא דינה Vateitzei Dina. Dina says, \"I got to check out the nightlife here. I can't be stifled.\" A year and a half of Corona is enough already. Quarantine, distancing, I just want to go out. I just want to go out. Says the מדרש תנחומא Midrash Tanchuma, that's what got her raped. ותצא דינה Vateitzei Dina. Because she insisted she had to go out, when she should have been a little bit more modest and humble and stayed home. Says the שפתי חיים Sifsei Chaim, the מדרש כאן אומר דרשני Midrash kan omer darsheini. Says the שפתי חיים Sifsei Chaim, Torah here is saying, come darsheini, what are we talking about? Dina, how old is Dina? Dina's a young woman. If I tell you the Medrash says her age, it'll make it even more perplexing. She's eight years old. So what does that mean she wanted to go out? She wanted to go play Machanayim? What was she going out to do? She wasn't going to the club. So what does that mean? What the Ba'alei Mussar explain, She was brought up in the home of Yaakov. She grew up in the home of Yaakov. She should have understood. Vateitzei means, I want to curiously go explore the world out there. Maybe my world that I grew up in, maybe what my parents have shown me and modeled for me and taught me and exposed me to, it's not enough. Vateitzei. I want to study other religions. I want to know what life is like on the college campus. I want to go experience the whole world and what it's out. I want to go live in that community and be part of that world. Vateitzei. She was unsatisfied with the world of Yaakov and the world of Leah. She wanted to see more. And again, says Rav Zeidel Epstein, coming back, Mashgiach of Torah Ohr, but that's the problem of Chanukah. What happened at Chanukah? He says, the גזירה gzeira of the יונים Yevanim was, להשכיחם תורתך l'hashkicham Torasecha. The Syrian Greeks thought that they could, they could bring us down, how, when they would cause us to forget, להשכיחם תורתך l'hashkicham Torasecha, your Torah. It doesn't say להשכיחם תורת השם l'hashkicham Toras Hashem, להשכיחם התורה l'hashkicham ha'Torah. It says to cause them to forget your Torah. Meaning, we have a life, we have a lifestyle. Are we בני תורה bnei Torah, בנות תורה bnos Torah? Is that our identity? Is it who we are? Yes, we participate, yes, we contribute, yes, we are exposed to the greater world around us. But do we realize first and foremost who we are and what our world is and what it's about? Or וייצא vayeitzei, do we want to go out? Are we so curious? Do we feel so stifled that we have to see what it's all about? I was on a plane this week, while I was doing work on the plane, I had the there was a a um, documentary about Princess Di, Diana, and the royal family. You know, we're royalty. Jewish people are royalty. And we have the rules of royalty. And if you're curious and you want to see what life is like on the other side, things happen. I'm not saying the Queen had Di killed. I'm not saying she didn't. I'm not saying she did. I'm not talking about Diana right now. I'm just saying, you look at what happened. You're curious to go out and to experience outside of royalty to the son says, \"I no longer consider myself. I don't even want to be part of royalty.\" And the next thing you know, assimilation. So vateitzei Dina. When Dina says, \"This Yiddishe home, this Jewish home, but I'm curious, but I want to see, but what else is out there?\" It means that there was a failure in the upbringing. The geshmak to be a Yid. Again, that doesn't mean that you can't experience parts in the right way, in moderation, in a safe way, with boundaries. But she says, I want to leave it behind and I want to go out and I want to experience the world. Says Rav Zeidel Epstein, that was the problem, that was the challenge of the יונים Yevanim, להשכיחם תורתך l'hashkicham Torasecha, to cause us to forget that we who we are in our identity and in our core. The רב שך Rebbe has a different interpretation. The ליקוטי שיחות Likkutei Sichos, bear with me a couple more minutes, I apologize we're going over time, but I'll make it worth your while. Says the ליקוטי שיחות Likkutei Sichos. Says the רב Rebbe. Vateitzei Dina. Why does the Torah identify her as Dina bas Leah? Oh, also by the way, Yaakov was her father, but she's really Dina the daughter of Leah. Rashi there says, bas Leah v'lo bas Yaakov. יעקב Yaakov, אלא השם יציאתה נקראת בת לאה ella HaShem yitziasa nikreis bas Leah. Because Leah went out, she learned it from Leah. שאף היא יצאנית, שנאמר ותצא לאה לקראתו Sha'af hi yatzanus, she'neimer v'teitzei Leah likraso. Leah went out to greet Yaakov, just like Leah was a יצאנית yatzanus, Leah was one who went out. That's who Dina learned from. She learned from her mother. Her mother went out, she was curious and wanted to go out.And wonders the Rebbe in ליקוטי שיחות Likutei Sichos, צריך ביאור, מדוע מפרש רש\"י פירוש שתכונה שרואה בכתוב לדבר בגנות לאה? Tzarich biur, madua mefaresh Rashi peirush she'tichuna she'ro'eh ba'kasuv l'dabber b'gnus Leah? Why are we bringing Leah down with this? Dina went out, she then got raped. She was somebody who went out, we're being critical of a יצאנית yatzanus, of somebody who goes out. Oh, she got that מידה midda from her mother. Her mother was like that too. Her mother went out.And the ראיה ra'aya, the the פסוק pasuk that we bring a proof from, Leah went out, why? She didn't go to a club or a bar, Leah. Where did she go? To greet יעקב Yaakov. Leah did a beautiful thing. Nothing wrong. הרי יציאת לאה לקראת יעקב, לא היה דבר בלתי רצוי. אדרבה. וישמע אלקים אל לאה, שהיתה מתאווה מחזרת להרבי שבטים. Harei yitzias Leah likras Yaakov, lo hayah davar bilti ratzui. Adrabba. Va'yishma Elokim el Leah, she'hay'sa mis'aveh machzeres l'harbei shvatim. When Leah went out in order to greet יעקב Yaakov, it's because she wanted to procreate. She wanted to have more children, she wanted to bring more holy tribes into the world. Leah did a virtuous thing. So why are we invoking as an example what Leah did for going out in order to be critical of Dina for it as well?So the Lubavitcher Rebbe says the following. יש לומר שכוונת רש\"י שבזה שדינה נקראת כאן בת לאה, משמיענו הכתוב דכשם שפשוט שיציאת לאה היתה דבר טוב, כך היתה יציאת דינה כל של עצמה דבר. Yesh lomar she'kavanas Rashi she'b'zeh she'Dina nikreis kan bas Leah, mashmianu ha'kasuv d'k'sheim she'pashut she'yitzias Leah hay'sa davar tov, kach hay'sa yitzias Dina kol shel atzma davar. The Lubavitcher Rebbe, this was the Rebbe's whole life, was to defend the Jewish people. The Rebbe spent his entire life reading history and reading the Jewish נשמה neshama, not to see something to be critical of, but to see something to praise. And he says we got it all wrong. It's not that Dina is identified or associated with Leah because Leah we're critical of, she went out, and Dina went out. Leah did the right thing by going out and so did Dina. והביאור בזה V'ha'biur b'zeh. He says, ויקח עשו את... כל הנפש בביתו, דינה היכן היתה? נתנה בתיבה ונעל בפניה. va'yikach Esav es... kol ha'nefesh b'veiso, Dina heichan hay'sa? Nasna b'teiva v'na'al b'faneha. Where was Dina? Where was Dina in this whole story when they met עשו Esav? What did יעקב Yaakov do with דינה Dina when they met עשו Esav? He locked her in a suitcase. And he locked her, why? Because he was worried. What was he worried about? He was worried, he was worried that עשו Esav would be smitten from this דינה Dina, and then he would take her. And what would happen? דינה Dina would go off the דרך derech if she married עשו Esav. So the Torah tells us, or חז\"ל Chazal tell us, נענש יעקב ne'enash Yaakov. יעקב Yaakov was punished for hiding and locking דינה Dina in a suitcase thinking that she would convert, go off the דרך derech with עשו Esav, why? Because, שמא תחזירנו למוטב shema tachzirenu l'mutav. Because the opposite would have happened. Leah's charisma, Leah's inspiring personality, Leah's compelling, Leah would have actually brought עשו Esav back. דינה Dina, sorry, could have brought, thank you for still listening. דינה Dina could have brought, דינה Dina could have brought עשו Esav back. Could you imagine a world in which יעקב Yaakov and עשו Esav got along? We don't have a world of עשו שונא ליעקב Esav sones l'Yaakov. It could have been Esav loved יעקב Yaakov. We would not have to be facing Christian oppression throughout the millennia, including the Holocaust, would have never happened if עשו Esav would have loved us. And why did עשו Esav fall in love with us? Because יעקב Yaakov didn't have faith that Leah could bring him back. He locked Leah down. דינה Dina, sorry. יעקב Yaakov didn't have faith that דינה Dina could bring him back. He locked דינה Dina down. ומבואר U'mevu'ar, says the Rebbe, שמעלתה של דינה שהיתה גדולה כל כך עד שהיה בכוחה להחזיר למוטב את עשו הרשע she'maalasa shel Dina she'hay'sa gedola kol kach ad she'hayah b'kocha l'hachzir l'mutav es Esav ha'rasha. דינה Dina was so great, so persuasive, so charismatic, so compelling, she could have inspired and brought back, she could have made עשו Esav into a צדיק tzaddik.So what do you see, ותצא דינה v'teitzei Dina? דינה Dina going out was a good thing. What is the Lubavitcher Rebbe saying about דינה Dina? She's the first קירוב kiruv professional. דינה Dina is the first שליח shliach. She's the first שליחה shlicha. She's going out on שליחות shlichus. דינה Dina is going out. So while, while we read the criticism, everyone else was staying home to play Rummikub, everybody else was packing טומכי שבת Tomchei Shabbos, everybody else was listening to the פרשה שיעור parsha shiur, ותצא דינה v'teitzei Dina, she had to go out, this יצאנית yatzanis, says the Lubavitcher Rebbe, no, she was a יצאנית yatzanis like her mother. They were on שליחות shlichus. They were out doing קירוב kiruv. They were out doing outreach. They were out like the disco rabbi. We had on Behind the במה Bima, Rabbi Grossman, the great disco rabbi. Rabbi Grossman of מגדל אור Migdal Ohr, מגדל העמק Migdal HaEmek. If you didn't listen to that episode, you must go back and listen. The great Rabbi Grossman who went into the disco, the disco rabbi. לאה Leah was ready to be יצאנית yatzanis in a positive sense, to go out into the disco. The Lubavitcher Rebbe reads this and he flips the entire thing on its head. And while I'm on this, let me tell you one more, is רב ראובן פיינשטיין Rav Reuven Feinstein. I told you I like to share the new ספרים sfarim people send. So send me new ספרים sfarim and I share them. So this is a ספר נהר שלום sefer Nahar Shalom, by רב ראובן פיינשטיין Rav Reuven Feinstein, שליט\"א shlita. I thank my great friend Lenny Friedman for sending me this. And he says the following, we'll end with this.He also invokes the very same questions. דינה Dina, did she do something different by going out? יצאנית Yatzanis, בת לאה bas Leah. We already established דינה's Dina's considered by the Torah to be the daughter of לאה Leah, where דינה Dina is counted among the children of לאה Leah. Here though, we see even more than that. Not only does the Torah refer to דינה Dina as the daughter of לאה Leah, even though the egg she grew from originated in the womb of רחל Rachel, we see also that דינה Dina even adopted the tendencies of her birth mother, of her birth mother. What do חז\"ל Chazal mean by the statement that לאה Leah and דינה Dina both possessed the trait of being יצאנית yatzanis? It's important to understand that this trait, like all attributes, is not intrinsically good or bad. Rather it is simply an ability or tendency that can be utilized by a person either properly or improperly. When חז\"ל Chazal say that לאה Leah was a יצאנית yatzanis, they're explaining that לאה Leah possessed the ability to overcome her natural inclination to stay out of the limelight, to avoid calling attention to oneself, and to act with extreme humility when the situation called for her to do so. For example, the very place where the Torah calls לאה Leah a יצאנית yatzanis is above. There לאה Leah had to approach her husband and inform him that she had been awarded the right to be with him that evening. Certainly not necessarily the most genteel conversation she might have had. However, because the conversation was for the sake of a מצווה mitzvah, it was a praiseworthy course of action, and she had no trouble carrying it out. What was the result of her openness? She merited יששכר Yissachar, who'd go on to toil in the learning of Torah. Another positive application of the trade of יצאנית yatzanis is speaking publicly to other women, as שרה אמנו Sarai Imeinu seems to have done. Presumably, לאה's Leah's nature allowed her to overcome any hesitation she had when it came to speaking publicly, which is one of the strongest phobias that people experience, because it was necessary for someone to fill the role. לאה Leah would have done so without hesitation, while someone who was not a יצאנית yatzanis would have had a far harder time battling their inhibition. דינה Dina too had the ability to easily overcome her bashful and humble manner. She therefore would have made a great speaker and would surely have been able to easily overcome her tendency to be reserved when the situation called for it. Her undoing here was that she allowed her ability as a יצאנית yatzanis to influence her in a situation where it was not warranted. Another girl who was curious about the culture of the local girls might have been held in check by her natural tendency to conform and act as everyone else, and therefore not set out to explore. דינה Dina, though, possessed an ability to more easily push aside those inhibitions, and she did just that. Her incorrect application of this ability allowed דינה Dina to explore a foreign environment, which cost her dearly. So רב ראובן פיינשטיין Rav Reuven Feinstein, like the Lubavitcher Rebbe, reads this entire passage not in a critical way, but actually as a positive. What דינה Dina had inherited from לאה Leah to be a יצאנית yatzanis is not that she, you know, dressed differently and went out and went out on the town and left behind her values, but they spin the whole story on the head and say it's a positive thing. While others are shy and bashful and inhibited, they had the capacity to be a יצאנית yatzanis, that when the situation demanded, to leave the comfort zone, to take on a role, השתדל להיות איש hishtadel l'hiyos ish. However, דינה Dina left her comfort zone here, inappropriately, and that's what led to this terrible consequence as a result. There's always a lot more to share. I thank you for staying with me a little extra. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy. Tomorrow morning, 10 minutes of meaning. Tomorrow morning living with אמונה Emunah. Tomorrow night we go behind the במה Bima with David Lichtenstein. 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